View Full Version : Funny RPG Moments...

Aron Times
2008-12-23, 05:12 PM
I played in a six-man party yesterday in AKAN1-1 The Rotting Ruins of Galain on MapTool. The party was made up of:

1. Argent, human warlord/wizard. My character.
2. Shady McDugal, drow rogue.
3. Jethro, halfling bard.
4. Tetsu, human wizard.
5. Kalak, human warlock/wizard.
6. Rorick Stormforge, storm genasi swordmage.

Everything went well until we were about to infiltrate a goblin guard tower in the abovementioned Ruins of Galain. The drow rogue, Shady, offered to scout, and the party quickly agreed that that was a good idea. "It's amazing how people are so trusting of drow nowadays", I remarked.

It was a steep climb towards the base of the tower, so the DM asked us for Athletics checks to be able to climb. The drow rogue was allowed to roll Acrobatics instead, since he was particularly agile. He easily passed the necessary rolls to get up without getting seen.

For some strange reason, Tetsu, the human wizard, decided to follow Shady on his scouting mission. He had low strength and dexterity, and did not have Athletics, Acrobatics, or Stealth trained. To no one's surprise, he failed each check spectacularly, alerting every goblin in the guard tower.

Roll for Initiative.

Goblin archers began raining down arrows on us, while skirmishers hurled javelins. Argent and Rorick quickly manage to climb up to join Shady, while the three primary casters were left at the bottom. Argent threw a rope down towards the three, granting them a +2 bonus to climb, and Kalak managed to get up.

Now only Tetsu and Jethro were left. For most of the the fight, the two arcanists kept sliding down the steep climb. One player basically called them glorified cheerleaders because they didn't really do anything during the fight.

Somehow, Tetsu the wizard managed to climb up with a series of good rolls, leaving only Jethro the halfling bard. Rorick got tired of him tumbling down over and over again, and decided to cast Lightning Lure on Jethro.

A lightning bolt from Rorick's sword fries Jethro and pulls him beside Rorick. At this point, everyone was going LOL and OMG on voice chat, and the action stopped for about a minute until everyone had regained his senses. It didn't help that Tetsu and Jethro's witty banter during the climb was pure comedy gold.

We face two more encounters after this one. One was a fight between more goblins and their pet ochre jelly, and the last was the final boss fight of this adventure.

I don't remember the exact words, but everyone was laughing at Jethro's absurdly high amount of natural ones. To make matters worse, he was the lowest-level member of the party, so even with good rolls, he still kept missing. He did do a good job of healing the party, though.

The last battle was exceptionally tough (goblin skullcleavers deal massive damage when they're bloodied). Making the battle more difficult was that we were forced into a chokepoint.

We finished the adventure with five heavily wounded people and one dead drow. He still received full XP for the adventure, since he died during the last fight, but he didn't receive any treasure (RPGA Death Charity Rule).

Anyway, it's your turn to share your stories.

2008-12-23, 05:26 PM
Remind me never to send my full caster in with the party rogue on any kind of scouting mission...

Here's something that happened at the last session of an Ultima based campaign I'm in:

We were travelling overland to a city on the other side of the continent, and the DM decided he'd roll up a random encounter. Now, he doesn't use level approprite tables, his random encounters are truly random in every sense. We came across a Young Adult Red Dragon. The four party members are only at level 5. The ensuing battle was rather, well... interesting, to say the least.

(Initiative is rolled, my Sorc comes up top, with the other three in the party all acting on the same initative. Finaly comes the Dragon and my Familiar, also tied. I of course, start out with a good old Magic Missile)
DM: Yeahyeah, the MM hits. Next?
Me: Throw the Palamonk at the Dragon! You know you want to
Cleric: Umm, I throw the Palamonk at the Dragon. FIGHTERDOKEN!
Palamonk (Over the rest of the group's laughter): Wait, what?!?
*attack rolls, etc*
DM: Ok, you manage to land on the Dragon's back, and plunge your Falchion deep into it's back. Roaring in pain the Dragon reflexively lashes at you. Your turn *points at Duskblade*
Duskblade: Shocking Grasp on my melee weapon, and stab upward into the dragons belly
DM: OK, Palamonk, make a Reflex save. That sword went straight through
Palamonk: *picks up D20, pauses* Wait, what?!?
(Time passes, much damage is done to the Dragon. Eventually, it decides to leave and takes off, with the Palamonk still on its back.)
Palamonk: Wait, what?!?
DM: Ok, and we're back to the Sorceror. Whatcha gonna do?
Palamonk: Featherfall, Featherfall!!
Sorc: Lesser Orb of Cold!
*Attack roll*
DM: A hit! The damage you deal manages to make it into one of the open wounds on the Dragons chest. Chunks of ice burst out of the Dragon's chest cavity moments after contact. It's killed outright. Oh, and *points at Palamonk* You take 8d6 of falling damage.
Palamonk: F&%#. Can I make my fall look cool at least?

The Palamonk leaps from the Dragon's back on the way down. Bones are heard breaking as he lands right in front of my character. Slowly, he pulls his Falcion out and puts it to my throat... Then collapses, almost unconcious.

Sorc: No need to thank me. *Turns around and walks off*

The palamonk still refuses to talk to me

2008-12-23, 05:41 PM
The kender of the group gets a Rod of Wonder, and after using it in all situations, collapses a dungeon room, after shooting a fireball which hit a column. Also his accidently petrifies a major NPC, this made made the Dm in the form of the patron of the party taking it from him to prevent further misuse :smallbiggrin:.

Kris Strife
2008-12-23, 06:15 PM
So basically your party decided to treat a member like crap, he apparently wasnt allowed to get off the dragon, which reaks of DM fiat (as does him getting stuck in the first place), his char nearly died, and you apparently started the whole thing...

Yeah, I wouldn't want to talk to you either...

Edit: Isnt causing random chaos the point of both kender and Rods of Wonder?

2008-12-23, 06:27 PM
He didn't WANT to get off the dragon. After the Cleric threw him up there, he ignored our (Ok, mostly the DM's) warnings about its ability to fly and its breath weapon, and stayed up there hacking at the Dragons back with his Falchion. Out of character we still talk of course. We're friends enough to both know that its a game and it was funny. I skipped all the boring stuff like "I hit the dragon with my pointy metal stick", and in the process, lost a lot of the conversation that happened during turns (Not much of which was related to the combat anyway)

Kris Strife
2008-12-23, 06:38 PM
Ah, you neglected to mention he decided to stay on. And how big a sword got run through that dragon? A young adult red dragon is a Large creature.

2008-12-23, 06:50 PM
This scenario involves my D&D character becoming unconscious due to a fall.

My party included:
1) A second level cleric (Me!)
2) A warforged healer named Vulcan
3) A sorcerer who call everyone a meatshield
4) A goblin

My group was playing the Sacred Shrine (http://www.rpgarchive.com/index.php?page=adv1&advid=817) and the following occurred.

1) After defeating a nest of dire rats, the goblin decided to eat them and got sick as a result.
2) When my group came to the shire of Pelor (because the DM does not know who Aqual is in D&D), the goblin and sorcerer worked together to throw the warforged down the well. He managed to grab the rope, but the rope snapped after he grabbed it. After he fell, I said "Oh great, now you have to throw me down the well too because I have to heal him" and they threw me down the well. I got to negative hit points after that fall. The Goblin and sorcerer then made a plan to make me and the warforged pay 50gp to both the goblin and sorcerer (both the goblin and sorcerer get 100gp each). As the goblin climbed down the rope, he was attacked by three duergar and they all hit, but one attack was diverted to the warforged because the DM would not allow anyone to die on the adventure by going to -10 hit points.

A second scenario involves hobgoblins. In the first 3.5 campaign my character tends to miss or deal one point of damage to the hobgoblins while using a club. The hobgoblins then focused their attention on the warforged

2008-12-24, 02:30 PM
I've run a lot of games, and seen a lot of funny deaths, but the best one by far, was in a game of Shadowrun...

The group are breaking into a Renraku facility, and have split into two teams. One is airbourne on a jetbike, the other is following ground based with some heavy weapons for when the corps respond.

The chase across the city is wild, and finally the ground crew get to the area where the ambush has been planned, and they have a clear shot at the aircar's chasing their fleeing allies.

It has to be pointed out here, one of the characters insited on purchasing an old fashioned bazooka from an arms dealer to deal with the corp air cars. He was informed of the specification for the weapon, and to be careful of it's backblast.

The character then proceded to climb onto a nearby petrol tanker, point his weapon straight up in the air...


no more PC.

(Also those who claim this was unfair, the rest of the group tried for about 15 min's to talk him out of this, and i asked him three times if he was sure...

Little lesson, if a GM say's 'Are you sure?' at least rethink once...)


The Antigamer
2008-12-24, 02:56 PM
I was running a quick two-man adventure while the three of us waited for the rest of the payers to show up. There was a rogue and a sorcerer fighting inside a goblin cave. They were almost through, and at lower hitpoints. The sorcerer used invisibility on the rouge, so he could sneak up to the guard on the last door. The rogue moved silently up to the goblin, and rolled to sneak attack. Natural one. Rolling on our crit fail chart, he got "all damage that would be done to foe is done to self." Rolled for sword and sneak attack damage. All 6's. To the goblin, a rogue simply appeared out of nowhere, stabbed himself in the throat, and fell down on the floor beside him, dead. We rofled about this almost as much as when I threw the Calzone Golem at 'em.

2008-12-25, 12:38 PM
(by the way, I have already posted this on a previous thread.)

I was DM'n a single shot 2nd lvl 3.5 DND asian-style adventure.
The P.C.s were trying to get to this temple place, and a river was in their way. They decided to head east and look for a bridge (I described it as really dangerous- looking). They found one:

DM (me): ok, after 20 minutes of walking, you find a ricketty rope-n-wood plank bridge. (I go on to describe it as really unstable)

Human Ninja: I think we should test in with a stone, or something heavy

Elf Samurai: Thats a good idea but we have rope so we can secure it better as we go.

(a few minutes of bickering pass)

Halfing Sorceror: Oh you guys are such sisies! (charges across bridge)

DM (rolls on homebrew chart) You get to the other side without it collapsing.

Sorc: Ta-daa!

Ninja: I shall go ahead of my companions (Tries to cross)

DM: (the human ninja weighs more than the halfling, it collapses) please roll swim checks. (I homebrewed a 3.5 achaic version of a skill challenge)

Ninja: (success on first roll)

Samurai: I shall save my companion! (dives in after the ninja)

The Samurai roleplayed well, but forgot his heavy armor, winding up with a negative modifiyer.

The Ninja easily swims to the other side (ninja), while the Samurai is carried down the river. The sorc is laughing his eyes out. they eventually save him with a rope trick spell two waterfalls later (d10 HD).

This is now referred to as the "bridge" or "Paladin" incident. :smallbiggrin:

2008-12-25, 12:59 PM
I play in a Dragonlance 3.5 game. The Kender Rogue had previously learned that some draconians turn to stone when they die. Since he had just gotten a +1 sword, he didn't want to risk losing it into a statue, esp since he was part of a flank, so would get SA.

Kender: Dropping weapons is a free action, right?
DM: Yes.
Kender: OK, I drop both of my weapons and attack. (rolls attack) Hit, hit... (rolls unarmed damage) 4 points of damage and... (rolls SA) 18 points SA.
DM: OK... Uh, you know that's non-lethal, right?
Kender: Yes, but there's no chance of losing my weapons.
DM: OK, you knocked it out.

It was later decided (by other players) that the Kender had managed to grab the draconian...uh... somewhere...:smalleek:

2008-12-26, 09:28 AM
I was playing in a Forgotten Realms game - one of my first D&D games actually, in 3.0 (I grew up with a mother who believed D&D was evil, so most my early roleplaying was with other systems). We're trying to chase down a vampire-sorceress, and have taken passage down the Sword Coast on a merchant ship. Well, one of the PCs figures out that the vampire is actually one of the other passengers, and a confrontation in the hold ensues. Things start to go badly because none of us were really properly prepped for this fight, except the Cleric who, for some reason, was wearing his full plate.

Anyway, our wizard, after making a knowledge check to realize that submerging a vampire in water will kill it, decides to aim his single disintegrate spell at the floor, below the vampire. What follows is a Vampire turning to mist and the cleric (who was in melee) rolling a 1 on a reflex save to avoid the hole. Full plate + no ranks in swim = dead cleric. The rest of us made it to the longboats.

the HZ
2008-12-26, 10:29 AM
I've been waiting for one of these threads to show up again. This time, I will tell you the tragic story of Cthulhu and the emo investigator. It is a story that shows that sometimes, you can punish a player by giving them what they want.

I was the Keeper for a game of Call of Cthulhu. One investigator, a journalist, hade been seriously wounded and tries to exploit a loophole in the rules. I found that the rules say that every wound can be treated once, but not that the number of hit points recovered is limited by the points lost by that wound. In short, several 1 HP wounds might actually speed up your healing rate. Naturally, I might have misread that page and of course I would not allow that sort of cheating, but the journalist complained about his slow healing and insisted on cutting himself to exploit this. I considered protesting, but then I got a mischievous idea.

"Ok, roll for damage... oh dear, that's more than your remaining HP. You're dead."

Aron Times
2008-12-27, 02:17 PM
Keep them coming...

I was going to type another funny RPG moment, but I lost my train of thought...

2008-12-27, 03:03 PM
This actually also happened in Rotting Ruins of Galain. The party included two Jedi swordmages, a ranger, and a cleric. I was the DM. The party had actually gotten to the same spot as the OP, and had gotten to the base of the tower, and one of the swordmages starts to climb the ladder to get the archer shooting them. I rule that it takes two move actions to get to the top, so the swordmage ends his move right at the edge of the tower. He sees one goblin archer, and yells down to the rest of the party, "It's alright, it's only one goblin!" So the goblin grabs his spear, and bullrushes him. The swordmage uses his daily interrupt(Icy blast something) and the other characters, after hearing the swordmage tell them that it's only a goblin, see a burst of ice, and the swordmage flies out and lands on the pavement, taking 2d10 damage. He's bloodied. The cleric, sees just the goblins head, and Lance of Faith's the wall of the tower. At this point, the swordmage is upset, and teleports up to the top of the tower, and shoves the goblin off the edge. After that, dive bombing the goblin warrior when it got close enough was almost anticlimactic.

Aron Times
2008-12-27, 03:43 PM
Okay, now I remember...

My first ever D&D character was Joseph Silver, a level 1 human diviner in 3.0. My only experience with D&D before were the Infinity Engine games, so I was basically a bit clueless about the roleplaying part of a P&P RPG.

Anyway, we go on a quest to find something (I don't remember what it was), and we pass by a group of ogres extorting bridge tolls from travelers. I manage to roll a good Diplomacy check and manage to get through without having to pay.

Anyway, we get to the dungeon, and eventually get to a room full of mirrors. There is a pedestal in the middle of the room with a gem on it. I don't remember most of what we did, but I do remember deciding to start breaking mirrors.

Each mirror spawned a skeleton. I smashed a LOT of mirrors, so there were a lot of them. Basically, I caused a TPK with my first ever character, in the first session.

The DM later asked us why we didn't examine the pedestal. All we had to do was press the gem (which was a button) to continue. I guess I was still stuck in CRPG mode that game.

Mr. Zook
2008-12-27, 08:34 PM
Here's a good one, in my party, there are many people most importantly, me a bard/sublime chord (allows wizzard spells to be cast with cha) and a paladin. The bard goes to buy wagons from a peasant. The rest of the party hides in a ditch so that the peasant doesn't freak out. The peasant irritates me greatly, so I cast power word blind on him (the paly and bard don't like each other in game, so the bard always threatens the paly with power word blind). The DM sais 'Alright how long does it last?' Turns out, permenately. So I call the paly over who casts some spell that regives sight. The peasant proptly gives him the wagons for cheap and throws in a buch of empty barrels. As we left, we just heard the peasant say 'I liked the second guy better.'

2008-12-27, 09:51 PM
A High Church Inquisitor of Heironeus had been knocked out and imprisoned by a Chaotic Neutral Enlightened Fist. As he was being dragged along (tied up and gagged) after being defeated, He was Coup de Graced by a Hobgoblin Dread Pirate as the Enlightened Fist met up with the other party member, a Neutral Good Vow of Poverty Tiger Totem Druid.

Later, Druid says he's going to reincarnate the Nigh Church Inquisitor (Wouldn't want to leave him dead, it would reflect badly on the Enlightened Fist.) I (as the DM) make a joke about how funny it would be if he gets reincarnated as a moogle (Think the moogles from FFVI) Because I have a hilarious mental image of a Moogle being all "Are You a Heretic, Kupo?" "Tell us Kupo where the Demons are Kupo!" And all other sorts of hilarity.

Wouldn't you know it, 00 on the Reincarnate (And I had already said any DM's Choice results were going to be Moogles.) The High Church Inquisitor comes back and is a very, very angry moogle. The only angrier were Bald Moogles who had chopped their Pom Poms and were singing "Kill Kupo, Kill Kupo, Pour the Blood, Kill Kupo" Along to FFVII Boss Battle music.

2008-12-27, 10:06 PM
Another repost of one of my group's favourite moments:

My group was trekking through Yuan-Ti Forest and had split into 2 parties. This story consists of one party:
NPC: Human (Archery) Ranger
My Friend: Duergar Barbarian
My Sister: Aasimar Bard.

They were walking along when they heard two voices calling out to them

Yuan-Ti: Tresspasserssssss will be killed...
Bard: Hey, they are about 180 f.t away, right?
Me (DM): Yeah, about.
Bard: So we can do stuff before they get here?
Me: Yeah, you could hide.
Barbarian: Not a bad idea.
Bard: I'm gonna cast some spells.
Me: Sure
Bard: First I'll cast Light on my headband.
Me: Right...
Bard: Next I'll cast Summon Monster to summon a Celestial Owl, and cast Light on it as well.
Me: Right....
Bard: I'll tell it to hold on to my back.
Bard: Now I'm gonna use Bardic Knowledge. What's the name of a REALLY powerful angel?
Me: I dunno.....Celestius?
Bard: That's a boy's name.
Me: Fine.......Celestia?
Bard: Great. Now Bluff check (natural 20)

.................................................. ...................................
<Yuan-Ti start bowing>

Posted this on a different thread, but it was pretty awesome. That same bard also managed to give a troll diorrhea earlier.

2008-12-28, 12:40 AM
hmmm only once when our monk out performed the local bard inside the tavern, bard being booed off the stage, then hires this half orc bouncer to come in and throw him out him. Monk picks up a bottle ,throws it ,crits, kills, the bartender pulls out a crossbow, attack negated by deflect arrow, monk jumps at and killsthe bartender, and keeps on danceing. And off corse the crowd loves him and gets loads of money.

2008-12-28, 04:48 AM
My first time in playing 3.5 we were after some goblins with a crown. I was a cleric and I was with a pally. He trys to talk to the farmers that are goblins while I put an arrow in one of there heads with a natrual 20. Later er use the corps to check for traps and such.

2008-12-28, 05:25 AM
I've probably got a better one, but I'm tired and this is a quickie:

The party is descending a set of stairs in some forgotten cave. They find it leads to a small room with a crude open door. Outside of the door is a large blue dragon, obviously too powerful for them.

But they need to get past, so they begin to sneak. Those not stealthy fly. A few steps in, the halfling rogue, notorious for bad rolls, rolls a 1. At this time we were treating natural 1's on skill checks as no-matter-what failures, and the dragon woke up.

Luckily were considered to have surprise, and we all ran back into the room and up the stairs. Except for the cleric.

"Don't worry, he can't fit in here. If I can blind him, maybe we can get some of that horde"

The spell fails, and now its the dragon turn. Sure enough, he cannot fit his head through. So... he opens his mouth and lets loose a stream of lightning, turning the cleric into nothing but a pile of ash.

Poor poor cleric.

2008-12-28, 09:22 AM
Well, there was that time that my 4th-level Factotum (Jaques Frere, Elven Alchemist) and my friend's 4th-level Rogue (Cade Tealeaf, Halfling Gentleman Detective) defeated the High-Priestess of Morrigan (15th level human cleric).

It was funny for us, but not for our other party members who actually listened when she told us to get out of the temple. They were kinda exasperated.

Anyway, I distracted her with a smoke stick while Cade lept for cover and started chucking darts. Then I kicked a brazier over on her. Cade moved in to melee range. Somewhere between the fire and the stabbing she had trouble getting spells off, although she did manage to get me down to -4 HP with a Searing Light spell. Cade just fed the flames with all manner of flammable objects before leaping upon her and unleashing a maelstrom of metal.

The DM ruled he got sneak attack on every one, since she was prone and on fire.

Oh, earlier than that we came across the High Priestess of Morrigan and the High Priest of Lugh getting "jiggy" on a temple alter. This was while we were trying to save the city from a fire. So they get all angry with me until I point out that the Flames of Armageddon are sweeping across the city. Well, the High Priest of Lugh is apparently a very altruistic man, because at this point the High Priest of Lugh leaps from the alter, still completely naked, and rushes into the streets.

I just had to stare in awe as this manliest of men unleashed torrents of divine power against the wildfire... he managed to hold it back long enough for help to arrive, rescue 20 people right in front of me, and just generally save the day... all without pants. None of us could even be mad about being upstaged by an NPC like that.

2008-12-28, 02:21 PM
I have just though of another one.

In one campaign, which is halfway finished, my party is looking for some books written by monks and we came to a windmill. In one of the rooms is an orb. The sorcerer and I argue whether the goliath fighter in the party should smash it. The sorcerer supports smashing the orb, like everything else in the windmill while I ask him to stop smashing everything. I give up convincing the goliath to not smash the orb and then the goliath smashes the orb and takes electrical damage.

2008-12-28, 04:56 PM
One of my friends had a dwarf barbarian named Stumpy McBeardAxe. Stumpy had been compelled by an Illithid to carve his arm into a ship (once he regained control of his mind he reshaped it into a spike).

But anyway, later on we were fighting a famine-spirit and Stumpy just charges right down it's throat- both legs bitten off in the process. A few rounds later we see this spike bust through the famine-spirit's gut and then out comes Stumpy, teeth gripping intestines. Stumpy would replace one leg with a short-sword and the other with an axe, and at the next opportunity gained the multi-weapon fighting feat.