PDA

View Full Version : A "challenge" for you all =]]



aazru
2008-12-25, 02:58 PM
So I'm drunk :smallbiggrin: Met with my friends... (a lot of beer was in the right place), I'm from county most of you probably never heard of (and sorry for my English) and I'm happy! Mary Christmas everyone!!!!
So lets make a Santa build!
Hide and move silently... probably HIPS(hide in plain sight). What stats and feats would be in place for this build? =))



P.S. And seriously, I'm drunk:smallbiggrin: so easy on me please:smallredface:.

Flickerdart
2008-12-25, 03:02 PM
Willing Deformity: Obese is definitely one. Probably Darkstalker, too. Shrink Person or equivalent for getting through those small chimneys. Definitely Time Stop at-will so he can get to all the houses in time.

So he has to be a high-level Wizard. The reindeer are really Phantom Steeds. It all makes sense!

starwoof
2008-12-25, 03:09 PM
Santa is an epic spellcaster! The elves are the ritual helpers that assist him in casting time stop over the whole world!

Its true!!!

metagaia
2008-12-25, 03:12 PM
I'm from county most of you probably never heard of
What are you talking about? Everyone who watches the Eurovision Song Contest has heard of Latvia!

Has to have greater scrying as well, which he uses to cast detect evil on the children. Might therefore be a Mystic Theurge.

Starscream
2008-12-25, 03:34 PM
Some sort of Psionics would explain his ability to know who has been naughty or nice.

Or he could just be a divine caster with Detect Evil. He is a saint after all.

I'd bet the elves are clerics with the Creation Domain. They use True Creation to manufacture the toys.

Flickerdart
2008-12-25, 03:34 PM
Nah, he's gotta have it at-will. Which means Paladin, and the reindeer are his Special Mount.

Who multiclasses Paladin and Wizard? Unless...he's really a Sorcerer and took the dip for the saves! Of course!

sonofzeal
2008-12-25, 03:41 PM
lvl20 Elf (or Half-Elf) Artificer.

Custom at-will item of Scrying (should be 50,400 gp, but can be brought down to 27,000 gp with some shenanigans).

Custom at-will item of Compression (12,600 gp to go down two size categories for seven rounds each use, more than enough to get through the chimney).

Once-per-day item of Time Stop (48,600 gp w/ shenanigans), plus Persistent Spell, plus Metamagic Item infusion. RAW seems ambiguous as to whether this actually works, but this IS Santa we're talking about. A certain leniency is allowed.

Curmudgeon
2008-12-25, 03:50 PM
Gotta add the Quick trait.

Lots of ranks of Handle Animal.

Leadership, of course, to get all those elves with great Craft skills to work for him.

sonofzeal
2008-12-25, 03:55 PM
Gotta add the Quick trait.

Lots of ranks of Handle Animal.

Leadership, of course, to get all those elves with great Craft skills to work for him.
Dedicated Wrights?

Also, he should have a poor score in Spot, Listen, and Sense Motive. He may see everything, but he's not particularly effective at actually spotting and judging wrongdoings.

woodenbandman
2008-12-25, 04:11 PM
His workshop is filled with Tinker Gnome Artificers, not elves. Basically he stole every good Tinker Gnome from Krynn and left the remaining inferior ones who could only make faulty inventions to breed. Forget about that whole "curse" thing, it was Santa's doing that gnomish inventions don't work perfectly.
And in the Dragonlance books we find one gnome, who despite being "cursed" invents a time machine. Well if such an invention can be made from a Tinker Gnome from an inferior gene pool, it can certainly be made by one of "Santa's Little Helpers".

So we have Element One of Santa's abilities covered: Time Travel.


His workshop is obviously on a different plane(we HAVE been the North Pole), coterminous with at least the North Pole. Giving the quantity of goods he makes, the plane must have the Flowing Time trait(as does the Far Realms) to give the Tinker Gnomes all the time they need in the universe to invent. Don't worry about them aging and dying: they'll breed and replace themselves.

So we have Element Two of Santa's abilities covered: Infinite Work Time for Helpers


Imagine if you will a spherical room on the Ethereal Plane larger than the planet Earth with the Earth at it's center. The room is on the same axis as the Earth with the same rotational speed as the Earth. Now Tinker Gnomes can reproduce any piece of existing technology. Santa had the Tinker Gnomes reproduce Spy Satellites, only with the magical twist(they are Artificers after all) of being able to scry the area in their vision at will. Thanks to the rotating nature of the room, these Spy Satellites, while stationary on the floor of the room, are in effectively geosynchronous orbit over every house and dwelling on the planet.

So we have Element Three of Santa's abilities covered: Knowing Who's been Bad or Good.


Putting it together:

Transportation of goods always takes place in the room on the Ethereal Plane. Being both invisible to people on the Material Plane and able to move through objects freely, Santa manifests on the Material Plane only to drop off presents. With Time Travel, he can effectively get the whole job done in a one night shift, using Mass Phantom Steed with an infinite caster level trick to pull his fat self around.

His bag is actually a portal to the workshop, where the Gnomes, tracking his position on the magical version of a GPS, hand him the exact presents he needs through the bag. The Gnomes are all adjacent to each other, and each with full Heward's Handy Haversacks and all have readied actions to "pass the present", so no matter how far the needed present is from the bag, it gets to Santa in one round.

Finally, delivering presents continuously while time traveling is extremely tiring and psychologically taxing on Santa, so during this time the gnomes will pass him stimulants and other drugs to keep him awake. He's only jolly because he's on drugs. Of course, coming off said drugs is dangerous and so Santa suffers withdrawal symptoms and is kept in a straight jacket for several weeks until his metabolism returns to normal and also recovers from sleep withdrawal and the psychological effects that come with it. No one said being Santa Claus was easy.

From over at Brilliantgameologists.com

Kris Strife
2008-12-25, 04:22 PM
From over at Brilliantgameologists.com

Why the cookies and milk addiction?

Inyssius Tor
2008-12-25, 04:31 PM
His metabolism is messed up. He's got the munchies.

sonofzeal
2008-12-25, 04:44 PM
His metabolism is messed up. He's got the munchies.
OR
"That's what he pays his Tinker Gnomes with"
OR
"Material components for his spells"

newbDM
2008-12-25, 04:45 PM
His metabolism is messed up. He's got the munchies.

Does Santa burn the 50ft of hemp rope?

KilltheToy
2008-12-25, 04:57 PM
What are you talking about? Everyone who watches the Eurovision Song Contest has heard of Latvia!

Unless, of course, you don't watch the Eurovision Song Contest and simply have awesome geography skills. :smallwink:

Deth Muncher
2008-12-25, 05:00 PM
You're too late guys, Wizards already did this back in 3.0.

metagaia
2008-12-25, 05:03 PM
Unless, of course, you don't watch the Eurovision Song Contest and simply have awesome geography skills. :smallwink:
Perhaps, Eurovision is the fastest way to improve them that I know of though. :smallwink:

Santa is also probably going to want the endurance feat to resist both cold and fatigue.

Learnedguy
2008-12-25, 05:16 PM
What are you talking about? Everyone who watches the Eurovision Song Contest has heard of Latvia!


I'm from county most of you probably never heard of

I rest my case:smallamused:

Kurald Galain
2008-12-25, 05:20 PM
lvl20 Elf (or Half-Elf) Artificer.

No, Santa is definitely a dwarf. Where else are you going to get a beard like that?

RTGoodman
2008-12-25, 08:24 PM
You're too late guys, Wizards already did this back in 3.0.

Indeed. You can check out the PDF of "Nicolas the Gift-Giver" right HERE (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/files/Santa.pdf). Apparently he's a Human Druid 13/Cleric 5/Rogue 2 with a team of awakened reindeer and a whole bunch of magic items.

Deth Muncher
2008-12-25, 08:29 PM
Indeed. You can check out the PDF of "Nicolas the Gift-Giver" right HERE (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/files/Santa.pdf). Apparently he's a Human Druid 13/Cleric 5/Rogue 2 with a team of awakened reindeer and a whole bunch of magic item.

And an aversion to violence. Yay Santa!

EDIT: Now, the person we really needs to be statted up is Judah Macabee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judah_Macabee). I realize he might not be as well known outside of the New York/New Jersey area or Israel, but he's still celebrated around this time of year. Plus, he's a badass. The "Original Hebrew Hammer," if you will.

Heliomance
2008-12-25, 08:29 PM
The beard is easy. He's got Artificers. The outfit is a wondrous item of continuous Silverbeard.

Lert, A.
2008-12-25, 08:31 PM
I remember getting food poisoning in Riga.:smallmad:

Poisoned food was better than the "good" stuff in Eritrea, but y'know the poisoning and all....

sonofzeal
2008-12-25, 09:42 PM
No, Santa is definitely a dwarf. Where else are you going to get a beard like that?
Night Before Christmas, one of the prime sources, describes him as "a right jolly old elf". It's canon.

I don't know of a bearded elf variant, but they probably exist somewhere. Either that, or the beard's a fake...

Assassin89
2008-12-25, 11:39 PM
Santa is a Half-elf half-dwarf (explains the beard)

helpers are half-elf half-gnomes.

Mushroom Ninja
2008-12-25, 11:40 PM
something with fire resistance.

aazru
2008-12-26, 05:17 AM
ummm.. my head :smallredface:...

Santa is an epic spellcaster! The elves are the ritual helpers that assist him in casting time stop over the whole world!

Its true!!! So Santa is Batman Wizard...

...need more sleep...

Kurald Galain
2008-12-26, 06:09 AM
ummm.. my head :smallredface:...
So Santa is Batman

Nana nana nana nana SANTA
Nana nana nana nana SANTA

monty
2008-12-26, 03:30 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i6rKcnOE7Y (totally not a rickroll)

ericgrau
2008-12-26, 03:58 PM
Night Before Christmas, one of the prime sources, describes him as "a right jolly old elf". It's canon.

I don't know of a bearded elf variant, but they probably exist somewhere. Either that, or the beard's a fake...

Ya he's called an elf, his helpers are called elves even though they're 1 or two sizes smaller. But really that's just an oldy-time generic term for magical or unusual humanoids. In fact, "Gandalf" from Lord of the Rings gets his name from being called a "Wand Elf", since he seems to get his magic from a staff (also called a "wand").

I like the epic dwarf wizard and tinker gnomes theories.