Ultimate Greed IV - resurrected?

[Jontom Xire]

History of Gwynedd - The rise of a new King

After the short-lived reign of King Xykon Fan, and the subsequent annihilation of the noble ranks, Gwynedd entered a golden age. Without the nobility watching over their every move and laying claim to all their hard earned assets, the peasants of the land thrived, having finally been allowed the freedom to enjoy their lives and reap the rewards of their hard labour.

However, peace never lasts long. An ambitious peasant going by the name of Fast Even saw opportunity in the new system and made his move. Claiming a distant relation with the forgotten kings and queens of past, he rallied the sons and daughters of the old nobility and with the help of hired mercenaries once again restored the Monarchy to Gwynedd.

Unfortunately for Fast Even, although he was a great leader in battle, his peasant like behaviour outside of battle made him many enemies among the noble ranks and it wasn’t long before a “hunting accident “ left his only son evnafets as the sole heir to the throne.

Now as the wolves Dukes and Nobles gather to pay their homage to the new king at his coronation ceremony, many have a glint in their eyes, perhaps seeing opportunity where there previously was none as they await for the entrance of their King.

Thus begins a new year in Gwynedd and the promises of riches that come with it.

(I'll apologise in advance for the horrible narration that everyone will probably have to endure throughout the game. Writing has never been one of my talents.)

The Rules (Returning players, feel free to skip down to the last 2 sections for changes):

The aim of this game is to get as much money as possible.

In the game, there are three roles you can be:

King: Only one of this role. This person is the one who controls the main flow of money. He also starts with the power level of 10.
Duke: There are 5 of this role. Each gets money from the King, and gives it to the dukes.
Noble: They take the money, and complain when they don't have enough. They also pm their support for rebellions, and can spy on others.

Right. So those are the three roles.

Everyone also has a Power Level, which can be 1 - 10. Everyone knows their own power levels. Dukes know their noble's power levels. Kings know everyone's power levels.

So now that's out of the way...

Basic principle:

A year, or round, begins.
The King gets money! Wooo! A whole 100-200 of it! He then has 24 hours to give out money to the Dukes. But, also, the Dukes get 3-5 Gold, and the Nobles get 1-3 Gold.
After this, the Dukes have 24 hours to give money to the nobles.
Note on Gold Distributions - Please pm also the Narrators with how much money you're giving to people. We'll need to update the excel sheet.
After the gold distributions, you get 24 hours to banter and talk about how wonderful life is under your Duke/King, before the end of the round.

But what if it isn't?

Well, you can go Rebel! Nobles go rebel against Dukes, Dukes rebel against Kings, Kings rebel against the Narrators.
You can, if you wish, attack anyone. This works exactly the same as a rebellion, only with different people. So yes, you can now attack that noble if you’re a Duke. You can also attack that noble if you’re that king.

Rebellion!

Well, let's pretend that I am a greedy Ruler, and Bob wants more money. Bob Declares a Rebellion against Castaras, in nice red writing, so that the narrator can see what's happening. If a Rebellion is declared, the day is extended. Everyone has 48 hours to do one of three things: Support the Rebellion, Oppose the Rebellion, Or remain Neutral.

Nobles can pm who they support to the narrators. Dukes and Kings announce in the thread.

After 48 hours pass, the total power level of each side is added up. Whoever has the highest power level wins.

So lets say that Bob has just won his rebellion against Castaras. He can now choose who dies on Castaras' side. So he could kill Castaras. Or he could kill Fred, who hurt him in another game somewhere. Or he could kill George for stabbing him in stabbity death.

But if Castaras had won, she could choose who dies on Bob's side, just as Bob can choose who he kills.

So Bob decides that Castaras, that greedy ruler, is going to die. Splat, she's dead. Her money goes to Bob, who can do what he wants with it. He also can gives land to those on his side - Or give power levels adding up to a total of Castaras' power level.

Or, to put it more simply: Castaras has power level 4. Bob has four points of power to give to people - He could give Harry +1 power level, Sam +2 power level, and John +1 power level. Or he could give Sam +4 power level. But he couldn't give Sam +4 power level as well as giving Harry +3 power level - He's only got 4 in total to give out.

So, Castaras is dead. Who takes her place? Well, anyone. The winner of a rebellion offers the position opened to anyone they like. So Bob could become the ruler in Castaras' place. Or he could let Sam become the ruler.

Base Power Levels has been capped at 20 to prevent another end game massacre.

Right. That's kinda sounding more complicated than it actually is. Moving on:

Money!

"My Gold!", Quoth She.

Money. As you know, King's get 100-200 gold each round, Dukes 3-5 Gold each round, Nobles 1-3 gold each round.

What do you do with this gold?

Well. It is the main thing you need to win the game.

Buuuut...You can also use it for other things:

- Power level bonus!: You can spend up to 50GC to get a temporary power level bonus, at 10GC per point. Pm a narrator to do this.
- Give to other players!: Trade gold for secret alliances. Give gold as a gift to someone. Just pm the narrators as well as the recipient, and away ye go!
- Buy NPCs!: Now here we have the crunchy part. You can buy, for 5 GC, one, and one NPC only. These NPCs give special abilities:
NPCs

Each NPC has a different effect. They can also level, up to level 10.
Thief – Steals gold from player (you choose a player, and depending on the level of the NPC, you get an amount of gold from the other player equal to Thief’s Levelx 1.5.
Enforcer – Protects player from Thieves. If a thief attacks you, depending on the thieves level, and the enforcer’s level, you have a chance of evading the theft, and avoiding losing your money. Having an enforcer will always tell you the identity of the thief.
Soldier – Increases your power level by Soldier’s Level/2.

These NPCs gain a level when…
Thief – Every successful steal
Enforcer – Every successful protect
Soldier – Every turn/year you’re on the side of the successful rebellion/invasion/fight, i.e. max one level per year even if you are in multiple fights.
So yeah, gold is useful stuff. But remember – You need the most gold in the game to win. So try not to spend too much!

The Noble’s Spying ability
If a Noble wishes, for 5GC, they can go ‘spy’ on another noble, duke, or the king. Spying will tell you either How much gold someone has, Which NPC someone has, or How high someone’s base power level is.

Personalities

At the beginning of the game each player can pick one of the following personalities. These personalities will give you a minor bonus and in some cases, drawbacks for the game.
Merchant - Greater personal gold supply per round. (Nobles: 2-5 GC, Dukes: 5-9 GC, King: 10GC)
Warmonger - Your power level gets a +4 bonus for any attack you initiate and a +2 bonus for any attack you support.
Rogue - Thief NPCs steal 2GC per level. 25% automatic failure chance for any thievery op against you.
Mystic - Access to Mage NPC - Destroys % of gold of target equal to Mage Level at 50% success rate. Your target will not be informed of failed attempts.
Pacifist - Cannot initiate attacks. Your power level gets a +6 bonus for any attack you oppose.
Scavenger - You gain 5-15GC for each attack on which you are on the winning side.
Freak - Your power level will differ from your base by -25% to +50% every round.
Additional Side Roles

Feuders - You have an ongoing dispute on a piece of land on your borders. Should one of the feuders die, the other will gain ownership of the disputed land (10% bonus to your current gold)
Lovers - You have known each other since childhood and wish for nothing more than to be with the one you love when this is all over. You win and die together. (Lovers may not donate money to each other for obvious reasons)
Rebels - You hate the current king and would love nothing more than his death. Should the King die, you gain a 10% bonus to your current gold.
Loyalists - You have pledged your lives to guarding the King from all outside threats. Should the King survive until the end of the game, you gain a 10% bonus to your ending gold to determine the winner.


Players: 8/27

King Lamech V
-Duke The Valiant Turtle
--Noble Dallas-Dakota
-Duke Catseye2121
-Duke Saint Nil
-Duke Reinholdt
-Duke Uncle Festy
--Noble Helgraf

[Reinholdt]

*notices thread*
Oh hey. I almost forgot about this.

I definitely am interested.

*looks at crickets*

But they might not be. Perhaps PM everyone who was still alive when the hiatus began?

[Aether]

What is Ultimate Greed?

And will you be continuing UG 4, continuing where you left off, or restarting UG 4?

[Murska]

I would totally play but... I was sort of ganked out of existance already. :smallwink:

[Uncle Festy]

If you guys need a replacement, sign me up!
Also, Jontom –*this won't compromise our… prior engagement, right?
Speaking of which, I'm gonna go work on that now.
*runs off*

[TFT]

I'd be interested in finishing the game up.

[Jontom Xire]

What is Ultimate Greed?

And will you be continuing UG 4, continuing where you left off, or restarting UG 4?

Continuing otheriwse it would be UG 5.

I can't find the original thread, so don't have the original rules. Hmmm, that could be a problem.

I'll PM all the odl players once I've got the rules and have more time.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I'm still in!

[Castaras]

You'll find the rules here Jontom. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86297)

*returns to lurking*

[Emperor Demonking]

If I was alive, I'll play.

[Dr. Bath]

Was I in this one? I don't remember... I don't think so. But if someone doesn't turn up, I'll happily steal their place! :smallwink:

The gallent Sir Bath never did get revenge against that Fleeing Coward of a Noble....

[Jontom Xire]

You'll find the rules here Jontom. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86297)

*returns to lurking*

Thanks, Cassie. I owe you a big wet slobbery kiss hug next UKitP meet-up.

[Reinholdt]

Cassie wins!

Thanks. :smallsmile:

[Mustiado]

I'm still up for it, jontom. Just let me know what you need done.

[The Valiant Turtle]

I'm most definitely still greedy!

[Lamech]

If anyone doesn't show up I'm 90% sure that I can do a better job than no one, and I will happily try.

[Saint Nil]

Can't wait for this to restart.:smallbiggrin:

[Helgraf]

Erm. Hmmm. If you become narrator that puts me in an odd spot, JX, if I resume playing.

:laughs:

[Jontom Xire]

Sorry to everyone that I've been so inactive on this.



If you guys need a replacement, sign me up!
Also, Jontom –*this won't compromise our… prior engagement, right?
Speaking of which, I'm gonna go work on that now.
*runs off*

You can replace Freshmeat who is definitely gone from the forums.


I'm most definitely still greedy!

Raldor, right?

[Jontom Xire]

In response to my PMs that I sent to all those who had not yet shown their faces on this thread, I have had two people respond to say they don't have time to continue this game. This means that there will be a significant number fewer playing.

As soon as I get time I will fill in all inactive roles with people who have requested to be a replacement, and then send out PMs with a short summary (player nature, NPC hired and level, how much gld, etc.) to everyone still in the game, then post a player list of remaining players in post one, and a narration to restart the game.

Mustiado, the Google spreadsheet is all set up and you should have had an invite to use it. Work is very busy atm, so if you want to pitch in and help here with any of the above, that would be great.

Please, all of you feel free to chat or simply bump the thread so that I don't forget it when scanning the forum quickly (as I seem to do all too often).

[Dr. Bath]

Just making sure I get put on them thar replacement lists. Please.

p.s. I like gold.

Gold gold gold! Gold gold gold gold gold gold! Wait, that's the second verse...

[Mustiado]

I've got some free time today, so I'll go update the Legend of Tara Head--- Wait. Crap.

Seriously though, if I can figure out how to make Google Spreadsheets work, I'll see if I can get people in for their replacements and get something rolling today.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Am I too late to say I'll still play?

[Jontom Xire]

No.

Consider yourself still in as king.

Phew, that solves a knotty problem.

[Jontom Xire]

PMs going out now. Please ignore small errors. E.g. DD, you're a noble not a duke. Sorry.

Replacements for Mustiado and myself were somewhat arbitrarily picked, but since I get to pick the replacements for Mustiado, and he for me, I don't think I've trodden on any toes.

I'll update the player list on page one soon.

We had several drop-outs. They were all nobles as far as I can tell, and have simply been expunged from the records.

[Jontom Xire]

Many years had passed since the plague first struck. To avoid the pestilence, all dukedoms closed their borders and most villages and towns built walls to keep out the infected. Trade and communications ground to an absolute halt. Now the plague had passed and as the citizens fo the kindom slowly came out from behind their walls, as trade re-opened, the true toll of the plague was found.

Many nobles had died, consumed by illness and those that remained considered themselves lucky. As the first harvest since the plague was gathered, the king collected his first taxes for many years.

=========

Game restarts. PM with this year's gold is going to Fullbladder shortly. Once he lets me know the disbursements I'll send PMs to Dukes, and so on.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Wasn't I a noble under Murska?:smallconfused:

[Jontom Xire]

Wasn't I a noble under Murska?:smallconfused:

Murska died waaaay before the hiatus and then requested to replace a drop-out, so he did. Essentially he's played twice due to reincarnation.

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter sneaks into the thread, hoping nobody recognizes him...

KILL!! KILL!!! KILL!!!!

Sssshhhh!!!! We don't want to attract attention...

Why? I want to kill someone? Or shall I do it Ninja like...

No! Stay calm! You're a duke after all not a madman!

That's not an exclusion.

Shut up anyway!

Ok... I think I kill my adviser first...

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

There. My part's done. I didn't listen to you this time, Jontom, so I think I actually managed to get it to work right.

*shakes fist*

[Uncle Festy]

Duke Festy steps into the communal gathering area, head bowed. He addresses King Fullbladder. "Sir. Duke Freshmeat…*is dead." Festy waits for a gasp of shock, and seems annoyed when none comes. "Well, in any event, I am his unrightful heir, and will be taking over his estate. So, with that out of the way…*where's my money?"

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

The head of the decaying machinery in the king's chair swivels rustily towards Festy.

"Many have been lost in our recent upheaval," the monarch wheezes, a skeletal claw gesturing vaguely at the duke. "Worry not. You capital is being wired to your accounts even as we speak." Fullbladder leans forward in its chair, grasping the table with both of its upper appendages. Steam erupts from pipes on its shoulders as it forces itself into a standing position. "Yes, gentlemen. This kingdom is back on the air."

[Helgraf]

"How ... quaint. The Mechanus Organ. Whereever did you dredge that thing up from, Majesty?"

[Murska]

Hah. I knew I'd get my chance again... Managed to flee from the traitors, only to outlast them in the end... (Does anyone know who I replaced?)

Back in the precarious position of a duke, with some rather new players in the field... I wonder how this shall turn out. For now, I wait for my money.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"My dear Helgraf... I was never dredged. I was desecrated. The engineers call it being 'salvaged'."

Going back to the official story of the Fullbladder Clan of Gwynedd, dating back some god awful amount of time, the robotic noble Fullbladder was killed defending his morals in UG II, then resurrected as an undead robot monarch in UGIII. He then decayed in his spacious and opulent tomb until his followers finally uncovered him and ripped his CPU from his once proud frame. They then placed in a much more primitive mechanical form, which he hid behind the facade of of one of his human descendants, until he acheived monarchy again.

Because I just won't let him rest in peace.

[Reinholdt]

Duke Reinholdt looked up, rather missing his more elegant sounding title of Baron Reinholdt.

"Your mechanical form must surely have been a great benefit to you during the plague sire. I wonder..." Duke Reinholdt trails off, not finishing his sentence.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Pfew, I'm glad me and my peoples survived that. Luckily I already had few of mine travelling the lands....But I look forward to resuming the system.

[Jontom Xire]

PMs have been sent to Dukes.

[Murska]

The Duke of the Wolf walks into the court. Ahh, I see the nobility seems to have changed quite a lot in the time I was absent. Nice to see some of the new faces. And slightly less so for some of the older ones...

[someonenonotyou]

hey did you just call me old? why you little:smallmad:

[Jontom Xire]

Can Mustiado and Lord Fullbladder both please clear their PM boxes, please. Important messages are not being sent.

Mustiado, as narrator I need you to pick up players actions they send you by PM, update the spreadsheet, and let me know that you have done so. If you think you can't do this, can you let me know so I can ask for another volunteer.

Thanks.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Sorry sir. It's got space now.

[Jontom Xire]

Ok, most Dukes have distributed gold so far, so as far as I'm concerned we're into the next phase where people can argue and bicker and declare war. You have 48 hours from this post (plus any extra time due to me being slow over the weekend) until the next year starts.

As a side note about spying, as far as I am concerned, anyone can hire a spy, and you need to specify which of power level, NPC, or amount of gold you want to spy on. And of course who to spy on.

Apparently Mustiado is in hospital. I hope he gets better soon. Until then, I'm running this game solo.

[Murska]

Oh? At least before, only the nobles could spy.

Now to excercise my new-found power... :smallamused:

[Jontom Xire]

Well I think it's silly. A King or a duke is more likely to have spies than a mere noble. And I don't see how it affects game balance, except that previously dukes and kings needed to get nobles to do their spying for them, making them more essential. But it's still unrealistic to only let Nobles use spies.

Anyway, I did perfectly well, when alive in this game, without using a single spy.

[Helgraf]

Ok, most Dukes have distributed gold so far, so as far as I'm concerned we're into the next phase where people can argue and bicker and declare war. You have 48 hours from this post (plus any extra time due to me being slow over the weekend) until the next year starts.

As a side note about spying, as far as I am concerned, anyone can hire a spy, and you need to specify which of power level, NPC, or amount of gold you want to spy on. And of course who to spy on.

Apparently Mustiado is in hospital. I hope he gets better soon. Until then, I'm running this game solo.

Gah!

Changing the rules!

[Murska]

Gah!

Changing the rules!

Yeah. I think we should rebel against Jontom Xire. :smallsmile:

The Wolf sends out some soldiers to scour his lands and execute prophets of the false gods.

[Helgraf]

Yeah. I think we should rebel against Jontom Xire. :smallsmile:

The Wolf sends out some soldiers to scour his lands and execute prophets of the false gods.

Back from the dead and up to old tricks?

Also, to the fine fellow who can't keep his criminals in his own lands ... do enjoy it while you can. It won't last long.

[Jontom Xire]

I wish I had a co-narrator to share all the chuckles with that the current spying activity is giving me. It's funny! :smalltongue:

Honestly you lot.

<holds tongue (typing fingers) with extreme difficulty>

[Murska]

Back from the dead and up to old tricks?


:smallamused:

[The Valiant Turtle]

Woah, I completely missed the spying ability the first time. Or maybe I saw it and decided it wasn't really worth it and so scratched it off my mental list of the rules.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Peh, I keep remembering you as Raldor..


I liked Raldor better....

[Jontom Xire]

A peaceful year has passed. Harvests have been gathered uneventfully. Taxes have been gathered. Despite the number of spies running around all over the kingdom, hostilities did not break out.

It is once more the time for the King to distribute to each of his Dukes the share of the gathered taxes that he deems fair and just.

[Jontom Xire]

The king has distributed to his dukes their share of the gold.

Now is the time for Dukes to distribute gold to nobles, for King, Dukes, and nobles all to plot and scheme and, if they so wish, declare attacks.

[The Valiant Turtle]

Peh, I keep remembering you as Raldor..


I liked Raldor better....

I think everyone (but me) did. I had my reasons though. You can still refer to me as Raldor if you prefer. It doesn't bother me.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I don't scheme. I simply calculate how much money to give everyone and try to figure out who's better at things.

[Jontom Xire]

Stealing rules:

I don't know exactly what rules Uncle Festy used for stealing, but for next game I'd like to propose some changes.

1) Thieves have a chance of failure regardless of whether their target has an enforcer or is a rogue.
2) Thieves chance of failure depends on their level.
3) Thieves chance of failure increases by a fixed amount if target is a rogue.
4) Thieves chance of failure increases by an amount proportional to the level of the enforcer.
5) Enforcers have some mechanism to level up that doesn't involve being targetted by thieves.

The last point is the tricky one. If you hire an enforcer and no-one targets you all game then yes, you're lucky in that respect, but in the endgame high level thieves will be targetting you and a poxy level 1 enforcer will be no defence - and because he's continuously unsuccessful he's not ever going to be a help.

I think if a thief targets you, the enforcer will learn from the experience whatever. If the thief is stopped solely because you have an enforcer (would not have failed otherwise) then the enforcer gains 2 levels. I think we should also be able to have the enforcer protect against spies. Currently there is no protection against spies. Protection against spies would work similarly to protection against thieves.

What do you all think?

As a rogue with a thief I found that my thief only ever got caught when targetting a player who was a rogue. Being a rogue was better protection than having an enforcer.

[Murska]

Hm. I don't want the game to end so soon, especially just after being resurrected. I know it wouldn't end JUST yet but I might be busy later on.
If you people think of it, it's really very probable that you don't have the most gold. So you won't want it to end either.

I'll attack Emperor Demonking.

[Saint Nil]

I oppose this attack.

I will defend my duke to my last breath. I will none of this senseless violence!!

[Dr. Bath]

I support the attack, so long as an ample reward is forthcoming. :smallbiggrin:

[Murska]

Of course. As always, every drop of gold I gain from an attack is evenly distributed to those on my side, along with powerlevel rewards to certain people.

[Uncle Festy]

Duke Festy storms into the meeting hall, eyes blazing. "THIEVES! Thieves in my vaults! I've just claimed the throne, and what's the first message I receive? I've been robbed! But," says Festy, shaking his head, "I know who's responsible." Spinning around, finger outstretched dramatically, he shouts, "Zar Peter, your reign of thievery ends now!"
((Oh, and less dramatically supporting against EDK for the phat lewtz. :smallamused::smallbiggrin:))

[Helgraf]

Support the revolution against EDK.

Support the revolution against those who use thieves. Zar Peter

Incentive to shift vote had better be good.

Declare Switzerland on the Zar Peter affair

[TFT]

I support Murska's rebellion.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

....

Your King supports Murska. The other attacks will be followed closely until a better idea can be formed.

If I catch another mage blasting my gold, I will resume my old campaign towards slaughtering all magic-users.

[Murska]

I think I'll support Festy's attack just because he helped mine.

[Reinholdt]

Duke Festy storms into the meeting hall, eyes blazing. "THIEVES! Thieves in my vaults! I've just claimed the throne, and what's the first message I receive? I've been robbed! But," says Festy, shaking his head, "I know who's responsible." Spinning around, finger outstretched dramatically, he shouts, "Zar Peter, your reign of thievery ends now!"
((Oh, and less dramatically supporting against EDK for the phat lewtz. :smallamused::smallbiggrin:))
Hmm... Intriguing Festy. You were robbed and rather than going through the proper channels and seeking reparations, you jumped. Which means you clearly aren't looking for gold as you could have gotten that through polite talks. Instead you're warmongering in hopes of power gain.

And I'll not let my noble fall for such flimsy reasons. I oppose the attack on Zar Peter.

[Zar Peter]

Oh my god! A thief! Dear lord, how could he do this again? I told him to stop at once... there's no honor around here anymore.

Everyone who supports me get's an equal amount of Festy's money, which is 160 gold pieces.

[Uncle Festy]

Hmm... Intriguing Festy. You were robbed and rather than going through the proper channels and seeking reparations, you jumped. Which means you clearly aren't looking for gold as you could have gotten that through polite talks. Instead you're warmongering in hopes of power gain.

And I'll not let my noble fall for such flimsy reasons. I oppose the attack on Zar Peter.

… or, it could just be because this is, quite literally, the second round that I've ever been playing this game, and I therefore have no idea what I'm doing. Which means that there's no point in reading into my actions, because most of them will be motivated by, "it seemed like a good idea at the time". >_<

And, really, Zar Peter? Planning to skim 20 gold off the top when you kill me? You've already stolen a bunch of gold from me, I wouldn't put it past you.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

*sigh*

Dear Festy, I apologise for what I am about to do. Well, maybe we can find a magic-user to drag you back to the land of the living before I kill them all in a fit of rage.

Support Peter, Oppose Festy.

[Murska]

I think I'll oppose Festy. Sorry man.

[Reinholdt]

Support the attack on EDK

[Emperor Demonking]

Zar Peter

Murska

If people oppose my death, Murska's gold will be split evenly among you (I don't get a share.) and I'll give you some of my own gold.

[Zar Peter]

Oppose against Festy (If I have to do this). He's like a dragon sitting on a bunch of gold.

And support Murska. At last once I don't betray him.

[Jontom Xire]

Hi, all.

Sorry to all those affected by late updates, etc. I may have a new co-narrator to help me out soon.

Because it's the weekend and updates are a bit disorganised at the weekend, I'll end this day phase as soon on Monday as I get a chance while at work.

And lastly I'd just like to say that it's nice to see a bit of violence and mayhem in this game again :smallbiggrin:

[Lamech]

Well then oppose Festy's attack, and support Murska's attack. Yes... Jontom this is a change...

[Murska]

Okay, since my attack seems to be rather popular, I've decided that only people who posted their support publically and before this post will have any chance of receiving powerlevels and only people who joined my side before this post get a share of the gold. Otherwise, it'll probably turn into something like 2GC per person.

[Dr. Bath]

oppose the attack on Zar Peter. Although, once again. A reward would be appreciated. :smallwink:

[Saint Nil]

I oppose the attack on Zar Peter.

[Uncle Festy]

*facepalm*
Alright, so it's pretty clear from the reaction that I made a stupid noob mistake because I didn't know any better. So how's this. Jontom, can I withdraw my rebellion? It may be too late, but (since the forum was down for a chunk of yesterday, and I've been off the forums for the past 24 hours) this is the first time I've been able to post since my last one in this thread. Um, actually, I dunno if the rules cover withdrawing attacks, but, um…*please? :smallfrown:

[Zar Peter]

*facepalm*
Alright, so it's pretty clear from the reaction that I made a stupid noob mistake because I didn't know any better. So how's this. Jontom, can I withdraw my rebellion? It may be too late, but (since the forum was down for a chunk of yesterday, and I've been off the forums for the past 24 hours) this is the first time I've been able to post since my last one in this thread. Um, actually, I dunno if the rules cover withdrawing attacks, but, um…*please? :smallfrown:

Hmmm, I'm sorry but I already armed my man and they are ready to fight... so even if you withdraw I would attack you. Your stock of money is a thread for all, you have too much...

You could lower it at last by giving a bit to every opposer, maybe we can chill our armies when we buy them some pretty clothes.

[Helgraf]

*is now neutral on the issue of the Zar Peter war*

[Uncle Festy]

… so you were going to attack me anyways, even had I not attacked you?
Wonderful. :smallsigh:
C'mon, it's my second day. Give me a break. I don't know what I'm doing. Can't you at least give me a chance to learn?
And in case anyone's wondering, my attack is officially withdrawn assuming I can. To be fair, I would also like to request that Jontom Xire allow the withdrawal of all power boosts made for this battle (if that's what Zar Peter meant by 'arming his men'). In addition, I will drop my charges against Zar Peter of thievery, in hopes of preventing any further diplomatic fallout. If he presses the attack, well… I simply hope he will not.
*picks up glove*
*sighs*
*leaves*

[Zar Peter]

… so you were going to attack me anyways, even had I not attacked you?
Wonderful. :smallsigh:
C'mon, it's my second day. Give me a break. I don't know what I'm doing. Can't you at least give me a chance to learn?
And in case anyone's wondering, my attack is officially withdrawn assuming I can. To be fair, I would also like to request that Jontom Xire allow the withdrawal of all power boosts made for this battle (if that's what Zar Peter meant by 'arming his men'). In addition, I will drop my charges against Zar Peter of thievery, in hopes of preventing any further diplomatic fallout. If he presses the attack, well… I simply hope he will not.
*picks up glove*
*sighs*
*leaves*
I didn't want to attack you, but since you started the fight I was not soooo sad about it. But I'm waiting for an answer before I consider what I'm doing.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Murska, as rules say, I must have PM'ed my decision to the narrator, not posted. But as I PM'ed to you and the narrator, I am supporting your attack. I already was before that post of yours.

Just so its clear, gold would be appreciated.
>>
<<

[Murska]

Murska, as rules say, I must have PM'ed my decision to the narrator, not posted. But as I PM'ed to you and the narrator, I am supporting your attack. I already was before that post of yours.

Just so its clear, gold would be appreciated.
>>
<<

Yeah, I know you did. I'll get the list of those who supported me.

[Jontom Xire]

*facepalm*
Alright, so it's pretty clear from the reaction that I made a stupid noob mistake because I didn't know any better. So how's this. Jontom, can I withdraw my rebellion? It may be too late, but (since the forum was down for a chunk of yesterday, and I've been off the forums for the past 24 hours) this is the first time I've been able to post since my last one in this thread. Um, actually, I dunno if the rules cover withdrawing attacks, but, um…*please? :smallfrown:


Ummm, really not sure. I have vague memories from the previous game that attacks were withdrawn, can anyone confirm? However I think I personally feel that withdrawing attacks is not allowed, at least not without the consent of the other party, namely Zar Peter. Otherwise people would constantly be attacking others and then withdrawing as soon as it looked like they were going to lose.

So my decision is that if Zar Peter allows you to withdraw peacefully then I'll allow this war to be called off.

In other news, I now have a co-narrator. I'd like you all to welcome Trixie and please CC them on all PMs that you send to me.

Thanks.

[Zar Peter]

I send Festy a PM, he didn't answer till now. He have 12 hours, if I don't post in this time here I don't accept the withdraw.

[Zar Peter]

Jontom, I extend the deadline till today, 11:00 PM GMT if this is ok for you.

[Mustiado]

Huzzah for new co-narrators! I finally have time again, but I forgot how chaotic this game is... I'm sure Trixie will be better suited for this than I am. :smalleek:

Also, Festy...

Welcome to Ultimate Greed.

[Uncle Festy]

Also, Festy...

Welcome to Ultimate Greed.

… thanks, I think.

Also, I only just got home and PMed Zar back. Can I have an extension? Please?
… I mean, it's really up to Zar, but I'm not sure he's on right now, so…

[Zar Peter]

I accept the withdrawal from Uncle Festy.

[Uncle Festy]

Yay!
*does a little dance*
:smallbiggrin:

[Trixie]

So... Hi, everyone. Please overlook the horrible parts in narration here and there, at least until I manage to iron out all of them :smallwink:

[Jontom Xire]

The Dogs of War roam free this year. Well at least some of them do. Some of them realise they've made a terrible mistake and go whimpering back to their kennels.

Duke Uncle Festy makes his peace with Noble Zar Peter and takes his armies home.

Duke Murska and his allies ride out onto the field of battle, resplendant in their best armour.

"So, where are these dogs that would oppose us?"

Everyone looks round but there is no sign of the opposing army. Until someone looks down and finds the remains of the enemy trampled underfoot, such a pitiful force that Murska's army didn't even realise they were there.

========

Sorting out executions, etc. now, then I'll do next year's gold to the king. Sorry for the HUGE delay in the game.

[Reinholdt]

*looks at delay between FC's last post and this game starting*

I don't think it's that big of a deal. :smalltongue: Besides, it seems politiking still occurred during the delay, so no issue there.

*Thanks JX and Mustiado and Trixie for running it*

[Trixie]

Okay, as soon as the titles, lands and gold are sent to their new owners a new year will begin.

That is all for now.

[Trixie]

It looks like someone doesn't want his new shiny title :smallannoyed:

Anyway, as soon as leader of the winning side divides gold we will send the king the gold for new turn. Oh, scavengers, you know who you are - send us PMs to receive gold for this attack.

And the last, probably most important notice - if you don't send PMs to both moderators, and the next year will be updated by the one you haven't send your PM's to, you can expect loss of your actions or lots of begging if you want them included post-facto. :smallwink:


By the way - the gold and the loot have been sent several hours ago. Proper narration will follow, as soon as either of us has a bit of free time :smallsigh:

[Jontom Xire]

As Duke Murska's forces search the battlefield they find Duke EDK amongst the bodies, still alive if only just. Duke Murska delivers the coup de grace and asks Dr. Bath if he would accept the title of Duke and the lands of the erstwhile Duke EDK. Dr. Bath accepts.

===============

All PMs for after the war should now have been sent out. The PM for the King's start of year gold has been sent out. Let me and Trixie know if you think we've missed anything.

[Trixie]

Gold from the King sent. Politicking and backroom dealing may now commence :smallsigh:

[Trixie]

As the day grow short the High Mage was watching the kingdom's capital with interest. His plans, laid long ago, were finally coming together. The ruling aristocracy that was the pretty much the only threat to him, was in the process of backstabbing each other with terrifying vigor. The king was powerless. The only other people in the kingdom who wielded enough power to be, albeit somewhat smaller threat - the advisers of the nobles, were eliminated one by one. That last year was especially fruitions - the most skilled man in the entire land was eliminated along with his master, Duke EDK.

The Mage smiled. Soon, his own "Lord", who was under his control from the beginning, will be king. The other nobles will die. The kingdom will be his to command. Soon...

[King send the gold, now is the time for the nobles to do so. I see most of you did this, already].

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

FIND AND KILL THE MAGIC USER!

Also, I commend the theif who entered my vault recently. At least he had the ball bearings to steal gold himself, not like those blasted mages.

Do you hear me, you lot of mages? THE INQUISITION RIDES AGAIN!

[Jontom Xire]

Despite recent forum outages, I think this day has gone on long enough. I'll give 24 hours more (from this post) to declare any wars.

Fullbladder, you do realise that you can spy on what NPC any player has? It'll cost you though.

[Murska]

I wish to join the inquisition with my army. As soon as my intelligence network uncovers the blasted mage, he is getting SLAUGHTERED. Period.

EDIT: And my network did. Helgraf has a mage!

As per the directions from the King, the armies of Duke Murska gather to bring war to the lands of those who would house evil Mages in their lands.(Helgraf)

[Lamech]

Are there rewards for helping one of the sides?

[Murska]

Are there rewards for helping one of the sides?

The first ones to join my side will get most of the rewards, as always. And any gold will be distributed to everyone participating.

[Lamech]

Cool... well I shall follow with a supporting the attack on Helgraf. Happiness!

[Reinholdt]

I support the attack on Helgraf.

Though this is the king's inquisition is it not? I feel he should've been the one leading the charge.

[someonenonotyou]

i supporting the attack on Helgraf

and also i rebell agianst Uncle Festy for an unfair share of Gp

[Helgraf]

Turning on a noble of your own Duke, someonenotyou? Filthy traitor.

EDIT: Also, there's at least two mages out there because I didn't melt the King's gold. My mage targetted Murska and I'll freely admit it.

Oh, and obviously, I oppose this rebellion against myself

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Despite recent forum outages, I think this day has gone on long enough. I'll give 24 hours more (from this post) to declare any wars.

Fullbladder, you do realise that you can spy on what NPC any player has? It'll cost you though.

I know, but a combination of laziness and general trust has caused me not to spy yet. I'll probably start.

Support the attack against Helgraf, of course.

[Trixie]

As the sun was slowly fading away the gathered leaders of the yet another coalition were wondering if this time they finally targeted their archnemesis. In their wisdom they decided it was to better be safe than sorry, and soon rushed to arms.

Meanwhile, the evil wizard laughed at their attempts, confident they will remove yet another obstacle to his inevitable rise to power.

[in other words, as per rules the day will be extended so that anyone can attack/defend properly].

[Murska]

I oppose the rebellion against Festy.

[Lamech]

Ditto to Murska opposing the rebellion against Festy

[Uncle Festy]

:smallannoyed:
No. I didn't. I have evenly split up the gold I have received from Fullbladder every round. So, oppose the rebellion against me. I will, of course, split the spoils of victory with those who ally with me, and will give power levels in order of support.
Oh, and I support the rebellion against Helgraf.

[Reinholdt]

Hmm.. I'm curious of something.
Oppose the rebellion against Festy.

[The Valiant Turtle]

I shall...

Oppose the attack on Helgraf

and

Oppose the attack on Festy

[Uncle Festy]

… hum. Forgot that Helgraf was my noble.
So, Switzerland on Helgraf for now until I figure out what to do.

[TFT]

I will Oppose the attack against Festy

I am Neutral on the Helgraf rebellion(I need to talk to my duke, I think)

[Helgraf]

I oppose the attack on Festy, even though he wishes me dead briefly wished me ill-will.

EDIT: was mildly confused, so changed post.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Hey, looks like Festy's suddenly popular. And I like being in the 'in' crowd I am a king of the people. So I oppose the rebellion against Festy.

[someonenonotyou]

lamech you traidor it was YOUR idea to rebel against Festy


Alright then my fellow nobles under Uncle Festy. I only got 9 gold, so I'm guessing you got similar amounts and that isn't going to be enough for any of us to win. Which means, either Uncle Festy must be removed from office or Fullbladder must be removed from office.

So... what do you guys think we should do? Unless your stealing stuff I assume you need to move up in the world... or find another way of gaining income.
and then Helgraf you agreed to go along with it

[Lamech]

Oh yeah... I found another way to make money which involves staying loyal to my duke.:smallsmile: So no need for me to rebel against the king or the duke. And I'll will in fact protect Mr. Duke. Sorry about that...:smallfrown:

I kind of forgot about you with my three other games, and hard drive getting fried.

[Helgraf]

lamech you traidor it was YOUR idea to rebel against Festy


and then Helgraf you agreed to go along with it

You know, lies are a popular tool and all, but they should be at least remotely plausable before you spew them.

[Reinholdt]

I now oppose the attack on Helgraf. He's not even the king's culprit, nor is this attack being led by the king. It's Murska warmongering for power as usual. And I won't stand for it.

[Uncle Festy]

Let's try this again.
After further reconsideration, I have decided that allowing my Noble to die would be a Bad Thing™. So, opposing the attack on Helgraf.

[Murska]

So, the traitors come out in force. People who've been crying for the blood of mages, suddenly when one is revealed, protect him?

Let them come. :smallsmile:

[Trixie]

As the day grew short, a large army prepared to stomp two little guys - Helgraf and Someonenonotyou. To make matters more confusing, both of them fortified themselves on the opposing end of the battlefield, instead of combining their forces. That, of course, seemed to favor the larger mob of warriors...

But, of course, it just wouldn't be a good story if it was so simple, eh?

Murska and Fulbladder, two of the most powerful of the army's commanders futilely tried to create anything resembling an unified front. The mob, torn apart about the matter - namely, who should be stomped first, its commanders threatened to divide itself or even turn against each other; soon, everything exploded into angry shouts:

"Helgraf!"
"Some...whathisname!"
"Left!"
"Right!"
"Up!"
"Traitor!"
"No, you're a traitor!"
"Liberty!"
"Work for the masses! Oh, wait, we are nobles, right?"
"Egalite!"
"Death to the tyrants!"
"Uuuk?!"
"Wait, are you doing what I think you are doing...?!"
"Blood for the blood god!"
"Exactly as planned."
"Wait, who said this?"

Murska turned around, unnerved by that last comment. Meanwhile, the brave (albeit outnumbered around 25:1) warriors of Helgraf and Someonenonotyou abandoned their fortifications and charged into the disorganized mass, hoping to defeat them at their moment of weakness.

[DunDunDuuuunnnnnn!]

Okay, that's it. Day closed, we will count power levels as quickly as possible. The victor will be announced soon, and in meanwhile, all three leaders will be asked who they want to see dead :smallamused:

[Uncle Festy]

Wait, three? :smallconfused:
There was me versus Someone, Helgraf versus Murska, and… who else?

[Trixie]

As it turned out, Murska was right. At least in that regard.

You see, future historians would describe the following events as "rocks fall, everyone present kicked the bucket".

Well, if by "everyone" you meant Murska and Someonenonotyou, and by rocks you mean "suspiciously well aimed projectile of unknown pedigree".

There was much discussion about the nature of the event: some heretics claimed it was a natural event, and a proof of much larger and grander universe.

They were summarily lynched, of course, for their blasphemous lies.

Others claimed "a wizard did it!" - because wizard, at least in their feeble minds, did everything.

They were much closer to the truth than they thought.

Anyway, as the charge of the both brigades completely disorganized the battlefield into a free-for-all battle, the King and the nobles were forced to use unorthodox tactics to save themselves - they pointed at the tents belonging to the dead and yelled:

Free Gold for taking!

Which distracted their soldiers for long enough for them to run for their lives.

Some historians argue to this very day if the two camp women should be added to the total of 43.462 soldiers trampled in the ensuing rampage.

Of course, nobles taxed their subjects afterwards and extracted any and all stolen coins. Catseye, who knew where Murska kept his private treasure, even managed to recover the Murska's deed to his duchy, and had the nerve of claiming afterwards that it was him who really was a Duke, and Murska was only one of his traitorous lackeys.

Well, almost no one believed that ridiculous claim, but also no one disputed his new title, anyway. Mostly because they joined the choir invisible.

[Okay, loot, King's gold and the like will be sent in several hours, as soon as either of your glorious narrators will wake up. That is all for now :smalltongue: ]

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"You have failed me, High Inquisitor Duke Murska," whirrs the King, from Castle Fullbladder, after replacing his legs due to stress accrued during the fleeing action.

[Murska]

I really suck at Greed. :smallfrown:

It seems everyone is always convinced that I am somehow powerful. Well, have fun with my 6 power and 20 gold everyone.

[Lamech]

So... who divies up someonenonotyou's gold and power?

[Uncle Festy]

Me, the person he was attacking.
Wasn't much, though.

[Trixie]

So...

Everyone got their messages?

Or is there anything we didn't send you due to certain technical difficulties? :smalltongue:

[Trixie]

Okay, power levels updated, soldiers leveled, loot sent out, year closed, king has the gold for his new year.

The forum officially hates me today, so no narration here, but you can be sure that A Wizard Did It!

If there are any actions we forget about please PM us.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Quick, someone tell me who replaced Murska so I can divide all the gold faster than it would take to wait for an update on the subject!

[Reinholdt]

Quick, someone tell me who replaced Murska so I can divide all the gold faster than it would take to wait for an update on the subject!

Catseye did I believe, based on what was mentioned earlier.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

... Oh. Again I miss little things.

Anyway, that works.

Anyway, best I can, I've set it up evenly so each player should receive 13 gold. If you get less, your respective duke is/isn't doing his job right. Either way, he's being greedy.

This mean that Cateseye's duchy is only getting 13 gold, but Festy's is getting 39. Deal with it.

[Helgraf]

Yes. Catseye accepted the title of Duke.

[Jontom Xire]

First post updated. Sorry for the delay.

Quick note, King knows everyone's power levels, Dukes know their nobles' power levels. You don't need to spy on them to get to know them, but do ask because I personally can't be bothered to notify people when power levels change.

[Trixie]

A short day passed. The Mage who did it was thinking about his next move. Figuratively, of course, as he already planned ahead his next fifty steps.

That being said, he thought that events that almost resulted in world war, The Big Murska's Wars, as they would be later called (also known as The Big, Fat Nobles Cowardly Running Away From People's Righteous Wrath or That One War With The Absolutely Least Amount Of Beforehand Planning) - were a success. He didn't managed to kill a king, but he at least eliminated the most powerful noble in the kingdom. Not that rise of this noble was entirely without TMWDI's help.

He turned his thoughts to other, living targets. There was this impostor so called "mage" "found" by Murska. He was useful, until now, and his death might have obscured the Mage's existence - as the other one couldn't even properly use magic, anyway. Everyone, after all, were convinced that only one "mage" remained alive - and he, like the "mage's" lord, was only a puppet.

No, he was now concerned with two extremely powerful soldier-generals, a priority target for this year's elimination. He also thought about two nobles, who appeared to not possess any advisers at all. Did they, really, or maybe they were hiding them? Maybe there was another, unknown player manipulating the events?

No. No one could be as powerful as him. He already achieved pinnacle of the Magecraft, his power level unable to rise any further.

He smiled.

:xykon:

In time, all his enemies would fall.

All of them.

[Um, perhaps I should cut my narrations a bit, as it appears almost no one actually reads them :smalltongue:

Anyway, King has sent the gold, so day is closed. The second phase, nobles sending, begins, and I see most of them already did :smallwink:]

[Murska]

I read them! I hope that Mage dies though. Hmpf.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Hey! I read them.

You´l note that most narrations usually get little commented on but are much-read.

I know that I like it when people comment on my narrations.

[Zar Peter]

I read them too and I love comments on my narrations, too, but it's so damn hard posting nowadays that I try to reduce it to the absolutely minimum.

But... please, please, please Trixie! Keep them on!!!!!

[Jontom Xire]

As I'm sure most of you have noticed, Trixie is doing most of the behind the scenes work for this game. In fact make that all of it.

Plus his/her narrations are so much better than mine, and definitely getting better all the time.

Since I'm so busy with other stuff, I kinda feel like quitting as narrator of this game. Certainly any credit accruing for the success of the resurrection of this game definitely accrues to Trixie alone.

And for someone so new on this forum I'm very very impressed.

Keep up the great work, Trixie, that way I don't have to :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I read them too. I just... miss things, is all.

10 gold to whoever finds that mage!

[Reinholdt]

I read them! They're quite good.

[Murska]

I read them too. I just... miss things, is all.

10 gold to whoever finds that mage!

...:smallannoyed:

[Lamech]

Oh noes, not the narrations, they're a great read!:smalleek:

[Trixie]

...:smallannoyed:

Now, now, there is no need to feel bad :smalltongue:

Every noble (with one exception, but I guess he is simply unlucky :smalltongue: ) has received gold by now, so I think we can safely skip to the diplomacy phase (as we are already a bit behind schedule with the last forum outages).

The diplomacy phase will be extended if needed.

So, if you haven't stolen, used magic, or rebelled, now is the time.

Let the reaping begin! :smalltongue:

[Trixie]

What the hell you are doing?

Umm, nothing?

Exactly. People tune in to watch adventures of "The Wizard Who Did It", not the "Fat Loser Who Didn't Do Anything, Really". They want to see stuff die! Blood! Booze! Sex! Oh, wait, we don't actually have sex in the game. Blood is fine, though.

Really? How do you know that? Did thou seeketh advice of the lesser blasphemous things dwelling in the dark? Watched the colors fro...

Um, I simply used Fourth Wall Disjunction. I'm the DM, you know.

Ahhh, really classy magic. Fine, then. Igor, tea, on the double, we have a guest!

You know... Can't you do anything yourself, for a change? Summon Tea, for example?

Why would I?

The WWDI's eyes flashed, in the deep, toxic shade of yellow.

:mitd:

I'm bored. None of these... these... meatbags dared to move this year. Afraid of me, they say.

Um, that's what I'm talking about - you could have did anything on your own.

Oh, unnamed things of the dark can witness I tried. Let's take this-

The Mage took out the notebook out of his robes.

I tried to cast the most potent death spells on it, then write their names, but it turns out the pictures on the left they use to give commands aren't their true faces.

What about the Dread Beast of Caerbannog, then?

Turns out the Antioh really increased exports these days.

Unladen swallows?

Africa isn't in this game, either.

Star Destroyer bombardment?

Old Base Delta Zero trick? Well, wrong era for this, and besides, I couldn't force myself to watch this anymore after that blasphemous, not-to-be-named monstrosity contaminated the canon. I have a dignity, you know.

Did you mean Ja-

Not to be named, I said!

Okaaaay. Even simple gold melting was out of the question?

[sighs] At this point of the year, I was so bored from inaction that I had to send that four lads on a nonsensical quest. You see, these four or-

Fine, then. You have a month to make up for it... Or...

Or? By the way, that other "mage" did nothing, either.

The Mage's guest smiled.

Coldly.

:xykon:

That... is a secret. For now. He isn't our guest star, so we'll forgive him. For now.


[End of the looong, inactive year. King will get his gold shortly.] :smallsigh:

[Trixie]

[I fell like I'm talking to myself. Ahem. Wall, anyway:

King's phase ended, nobles have 12 more hours to send their gold. That is all, for now. :smallsigh: ]

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Sorry. When things don't happen sometimes people don't post. And when people don't post other people don't post because no one is posting, and because no one is posting people don't post.

If you could say that in a less confusing way, it'd explain a lot about the Human Condition.

[Dr. Bath]

Hey there.

Can someone kill the king yet? I'm fairly sure he's been taking large amounts of gold off the top for some time. Sadly I can't do anything about it, however will support anyone that does.

[Lamech]

Sounds to me like you want someone else to stick there neck out... why exactly can't you hit the king?

[Dr. Bath]

Pacifist - Cannot initiate attacks. Your power level gets a +6 bonus for any attack you oppose.

More like I actually can't. It does rather stymie pretty much any plan I could carry out. But yeah. Fullbladder should be deposed.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I assure you that everyone has been getting an equal share of the gold.

Yes, I've been keeping two or three extra gold peices for myself, but all in the interest of evening out the whole thing. The fact is, the yearly gold influx does not evenly divide by 14, 13, or 11, as the player list dwindles. I just try to make it as even as possible.

I don't care about power levels when I'm doing up the gold distribution, so I just try to leave it at that. The reason everyone should get 18 gold this year is because the random value was high and I only took 17. I haven't spent my money on anything except spying on one noble last round/year.

If you've been spying on me, Bath, and trying to figure out where I've been gaining extra gold, it's the 1-3 from the distribution, the savings I've made on not spying up until now, and the bit I get from a rebellion with my Scavenger powers. Yes, I took Scavenger at the start of the game, when I was a noble with a power level of 4.

Go ahead. Divide 197 (the amount received this year) by 11 players. Or go backwards and divide 146 by 12. Yes, that year I kept the additional three gold for myself. Is that a problem for you, Dr. Bath?

I have not been taking "large amounts off the top" at all. I've been getting relatively small amounts of gold to divide amongst a relatively large group of people, and I've been trying to keep the flow as even as possible to every single person. I haven't tried tob use misinformation here. I freely admit that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to math, though, so if you think I'm not doing a good enough job keeping the money going, then go ahead and take me out.

[Zar Peter]

Everyone should get 18 gold????

This is my first warning for Reinholdt. And my last.:smallbiggrin:

[Lamech]

I suck at math team then... I might actually be in a good position then... lets have peace.

[Saint Nil]

I rebel agaisnt Duke Bath.

Its been too long. You complain about Fullbladder, but you send me nothing. :smallmad:

[Trixie]

Um, what is that?

Tha- Oh, hello again. I just returned from fire sale in Azure City. That nice lad there sold me this 'ere ultra-wide-screen ball. He even aspired to be such good mage as I am, you know? He was a bit skinny, though.

And that?

That? Oh, it was a bonus item. He's called Teevo. Be careful, it bites. And it only wants to eat children for some reason.

So... Anything interesting?

Well... it has a full collection of Star Trek sea-

I said interesting.

In that case... Igor, popcorn, on the double..! We have these two sneaky alliances, or groups of conspiring guys. You have probably seen them already. Take that group - I called them Inept Squad, for their past performance.

Oh, these. Very sneaky. Let me guess - the other one is called Team Rogue?

Actually, Rouge. Why?

Oh, they tried to weasel some nasty things past me last year. Team Pink... Hmmm. A gud 'un. Fitting.

As you can see, they finally began to move.

Yeah, and I can see you did nothing to make it happen.

Did so!

[the GM's smile widened].

Which team did you joined, exactly?

Ummm... it's a secret.

Heh. Fine. That part about giving them hope and melting their go... um, all I can say it was quite ingenious, though.

[Popcorn arrives. All present began watching the ball. Curtain fades.]

[So, the revolt takes place, year is extended full 24 hours, any stealing/spying/melting/warring may now be performed, if you haven't done so.]

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Generally I like to wait a while to join whichever side in a rebellion is winning, but in this case one side has stated that it wants me dead. This means I should really join Nil's team, but if Bath wins he'll undoubtedly kill me instead of his noble (and if he killed his noble instead of me, he'd be getting less gold to trick his noble with). Still, I cannot leave Nil unaided.

Your King supports the Noble Nil's Righteous Rebellion against the Dark Duke, Doctor Bath.

That's all the propaganda you're getting out of me, kiddies.

In three Ultimate Greeds I have been elevated to the monarchy. Isn't that interesting?

[Lamech]

I support this rebellion. Hey do I get power levels/gold for helping.

[Helgraf]

I support his majesty in this righteous crusade to prevent the eruption of chaos from within his empire.

[Helgraf]

I support this rebellion. Hey do I get power levels/gold for helping.

When Saint Nil defeats the upstart traitor, he will be handed the traitor's power levels and gold (and title, if he possesses one). He then distributes those items as he sees fit, generally to honor any agreements made for battle support.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I support this rebellion!.

[Lamech]

When Saint Nil defeats the upstart traitor, he will be handed the traitor's power levels and gold (and title, if he possesses one). He then distributes those items as he sees fit, generally to honor any agreements made for battle support. Err... yeah I was asking him if I got any of those...

[Reinholdt]

Support Nil's rebellion

[Trixie]

[Nondescript place, Central generic world time, 1350 hours]

Smoke rises from the mountain of Doom, hour grows late, and Bath the Duke rides to... Dark, gloomy, slightly Art-Noveau tower, seeking my council.

For that is why you have come, is it not? Oh, boy, how do I love to listen to my deep, manly voice.

You! You were claiming this course of action is foolproof! Do something!

Already taken care of. Here, take these plans. With them, your army will be... Invincible!

Really? Not just invincible... but Invincible?!

Yes, pretty much, you should have about just enough gold to train them and take over the entire kingdom... Und morgen die ganze Welt!

Okay... but I'd better work, I warn you!

[Duke Bath leaves]

***

[Duke Bath's fortress, Zulu time, 1400 hours]

So... let's see... Plans for training Duke's Own First McKamikazi Scottish Regiment... that is, by combining the two most badass armies in history, the user shall deal 0wn4ge to any n00b in his b4se... And they would belong to us... Okay, let's implement them, quickly!

Um, my Lord, are we even in the same continuity as Earth? And besides, if my memory serves me, they were owned in the end, not vice versa.

Shut up!

Very well, it is an honor to shut up for you, sir.

Proceed!

***

[GM's fortress, No Time At All, 7830 hours]

Okay... so, are we keeping audience entertained?

Heh heh heh... I know I'm entertained.

*Clap!*

What was that?

That? Oh, nothing.

I just melted all his remaining gold just before he had a chance to hire a crucial trainer... heh heh.

Ah, that guy who was supposed to tell them to kamikaze only in order to defeat the enemy, not a moment before?

Yup, pretty much. And, for the final touch...

*Clap, Clap!*

***

[Battlefield, West Hollywood time, 1230 hours]

And so, the two mighty armies took field, each one armed to the teeth, the coalition's forces on the west end; and the Duke Bath's invincible regiment on the east side. No one was prepared to yield; this titanic clash would shape the entire kingdom for the years to come. But, alas, even the most veteran troops of the coalition were unprepared for, and unnerved by the sight of Duke's Own McKamikazi forces, and their unorthodox tactics.

Um, My Lord, I'm not sure we should order our forces to draw arms...

And why, pray tell?

You know... it's hard to... well, our forces are too excited... and all those accidents while they were nearing the end of their training...

Nonsense! They were few, and haven't affected our combat readiness, did they?

Um, from 30.000 strong to just a dozen in a week isn't what I'd call "few, and unaff-"

Shut up!

Very well, it is an honor to shut up for you, sir.

And yet, even in so diminished state, the First McKamikazi Regiment might have prevailed...

If not for sudden appearance of USS Iowa.

What was that?

Um, better question would be, why they are attacking it?

Ouch, that explosion had to hurt. Um, did we just won?

Die, evil dogs!

Um... Mr. Bath, you might want to turn around...

Why? Is that one of your evil trick? The regiment just behind me is Invincible! Why would I... argh! What did you... No matter! I can defeat all of you by myself just fine! You didn't expected me to surrender, did you?!

No, Mr. Bath, we expected you to die!

*Splat!*

And so ended yet another fine, but senseless waste of human life in the kingdom. Once again, sword proved, that it is indeed mightier than the pen, even pen laiding down evil, inventous plans.

As for the battered remains of USS Iowa, they were sold for scrap, and proceedings were handed along with Duke's title to the Saint (as he called himself) Nil to divide as spoils.

The land, ravaged by that last conflict, bore deep wounds, and there was a lot of weeping and gnashing of teeth, even on the victor's side, but as always, Nobles and Dukes tried their best not to notice that. That was their job, after all.

[King will receive gold shortly] :smallsigh:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fullbladder's steel talons tap nervously upon the surface of the table before him as he looks at the assembled Dukes and Nobles in the year following Bath's defeat. Had he a face, the old king would be chewing his lip. Had he sweat glands, he'd be sweating. He'd be looking from face to face if his lenshead optic didn't see everything already.

Finally he brings a hand up to support what passes for his chin.

"So, like, the collective armies of the kingdom burnt too many fields raiding Bath's lands," he blurts out. "The kingdom didn't meet yearly quotas and, y'know, a lot of working people died. Eh-heh. Live and learn, eh, kids?" He chuckles nervously in an attempt to lighten the mood.

So, yeah. I got 101 gold this year to distribute among the ten of us. So y'all should get ten each.

[Dr. Bath]

I rebel agaisnt Duke Bath.

Its been too long. You complain about Fullbladder, but you send me nothing. :smallmad:

I was away. And when I got back, I sent you your gold, you traitorous dog! You rebelled when I was out for the day as well!

BAH!

[Trixie]

Gold from the King sent.

Ladies and gentleman, this is first time in the game - we have more Dukes than Nobles! :smalltongue:

[Trixie]

[Gold from the nobles sent. Now, 24 hours for politicking & backstabbing :smallwink: ]

[TFT]

I shall tell you this now - I know who has stolen, or at least tried to steal from me. Don't try it again, or there will be consequences.

[Trixie]

What? No wars in 30 hours? :smallsigh:

Sigh. Fine. New year should begin now.

[Trixie]

Well, as it turns out, it didn't. Additional 24 hours to take care of the forum outages, that is, until midway the next day.

[Trixie]

[Um, King haven't contacted me with his gold division yet despite almost 2 days worth of time. Um, what to do, what to do? I think we'll transit to next phase in a few hours, unless you want to wait some more. I'll send you gold from your lands in a few hours.]

By the way - you can kill, steal, melt etc. from now on :smallwink:

[Uncle Festy]

Well yes, but two days worth of time that included no significant amount of time with the forums up.
Give Fullbladder some time.

[Trixie]

Um, yes, but also almost 30 hours of uptime. But that's why I'm giving several more hours, and why I'm still waiting.

I was just wondering when I'll have to draw a line and say that we have to move on. Any opinions?

Naturally, I hope Fullbladder show up soon.

[Reinholdt]

It really depends on timezones and when Fullbladder can get online. Right now I'm willing to bet his computer time was regulated to the time in which the forums were down. Unfortunate luck is all.

I'm willing to wait for him.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I'm so sorry! This was the first time I've managed to successfully reach the forums since the new comic went up. The forums went down for that day or so when the comic went up, and every time I opened the page to the forums after that it wouldn't load.

I mean, sure, quite often the foums will bash me around with 'Cannot Load Page's, but usually it'll cough them up after a couple tries.

Anyway, I sent the gold out just before coming here to say that. Eighteen gold to each person, barring greedy dukes (only two dukes have the ability to be greedy).

[Trixie]

[Um... Gold, and the King's excuse, has been sent. 24 hours for the Dukes to send it as well.]

[Trixie]

[Technically, gold was sent. Another 24 hours for the remaining actions ad/or revolts. Narration will follow in a few hours, I'm a bit busy at the moment]

[Zar Peter]

I revolt against St. Nil

I have very strong proves that he is the mage who did it.
And since he threatened to burn my money it doesn't matter if I lose the revolt or not.

[Saint Nil]

This is nonsense. Zar Peter has proven to be bloodthristy in the past, but serisuly. I oppose the rebellion.

Gold for my defenders.

[Dr. Bath]

Doooooon't ssssaaaaave hiiiiimmm! WoooOOOoooooo!

*ghosts past* :smalltongue:

[Uncle Festy]

Off to Switzerland until I hear of a decent bribe that's not just 'gold'.

[Lamech]

I'm opposed to random rebellions

[Reinholdt]

I don't much like the idea of my noble being threatened by the traitorous Nil.
I support this rebellion.

[Zar Peter]

This is nonsense. Zar Peter has proven to be bloodthristy in the past, but serisuly. I oppose the rebellion.

Gold for my defenders.

That's a lie! This is the first rebellion started by me.

Oh, and thank your for the just copy/paste :smallbiggrin:

Gold for my defenders supporters.

[Trixie]

The large laboratory (as much as word "laboratory" can be applied to something that didn't function on pure science, but pure magic) was in disarray that day. The Mage who did It, who just returned from a holiday that very day, was staring at contraption he just willed to life for a very specific purpose. A contraption powered by the souls of the innocent drawn from neighboring area. After all, he wouldn't be a Mage who did It if he stopped to think about the consequences. All that remained was...

I call you the Madoffinator!

[sound of pulled lever]

[loud explosion]

The Mage both smiled and scowled at the same time. It was working... but it manged to destroy but a single target, failing from lack of souls in other cases. He could melt a single portion of gold without any wacky gizmo. Still, it worked better than machine that Could Do Everything Beginning By The Letter 'N', and took off a whole load out of his shoulders.

Igor! Call Herod! This time order over nine thousand!

The Mage replaced one part.

It was time for another test. This time, twice the strength and double the range. And, when he finally succeeded, he would rule the kingdom, once and for all.

He even had already drawn a plan of saving the suddenly impoverished economy, worth 700 gold - plus an additional 20 gold set aside for horse carts manufacturers.

And the best part was - he already prepared fake gold and real excuses, plus a bottle of Champagne and another holiday on Hawaii.

Victory was near.

[Um, year extended, so there is still 36 hours to go. Have fun :smallwink: ]

[Saint Nil]

I revolt against St. Nil

I have very strong proves that he is the mage who did it.
And since he threatened to burn my money it doesn't matter if I lose the revolt or not.

Okay lets hear it. Plus, you jump on every attack you could, including the ones agasint your own Duke Mustiado!

[Zar Peter]

Okay lets hear it. Plus, you jump on every attack you could, including the ones agasint your own Duke Mustiado!

Oh well, I started the revolution against Mustiado. Because he didn't pay me for over three days! And I got nothing out of it because that was the revolution which desapeared with FC...

And my proves are: When I visited St. Nil today I didn't get any money, instead I got the following message:

Sorry for delays, just returned from vacation.

Ps. You didn't needed that 26 gold, did you?

I'll do my best to melt 52 next time, though.

Yours sincerely

Mage who did It

[Saint Nil]

This makes it me how?:smallconfused: And what exactly do you mean by visit?:smallannoyed:

[TFT]

Oppose. Zar Peter is the theif who stole gold from me!

[Saint Nil]

If you oppsoe Zar, put it in green. Otherwise, your helping him.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

The Royal Spies tell me you are a fool, Peter. Saint Nil has no wizards hidden under his floorboards. There are no mages in his duchy. This is the work of another.

Neutrality, man.

[Reinholdt]

Me thinks there is an issue here Zar needs to clarify. :smallannoyed:
Zar?
Switzerland for now, quite leaning towards Nil's defense.

[Helgraf]

Switzerland on the Zar Peter/Saint Nil conflict for now, though currently I favor Nil's side of the conflict.

[Lamech]

I'm going to consider attacking anyone who supports this attack by the way... due to a recent infusion of caffinie I realize this was not the brightest thing to say...

[Reinholdt]

I'm going to consider attacking anyone who supports this attack by the way...

And these threats came out of nowhere because? :smallconfused:

I'm not sure what your stake in this is, but this was both highly unnecessary and quite rude. As of right now, the war was being resolved in a manner befitting the situation. To think you can toss threats on top of that and get away with it is grave indeed.

I suggest you reconsider your statement. Because all it makes me want to do is support Zar and convincing him to kill you instead.

All been retracted.

[Lamech]

Yeah you are quite correct it was rather rude. I retract it...

[The Valiant Turtle]

My turtle troops shall oppose the attack on St. Nil

[Saint Nil]

1-Trixie has a nice new avatar.:smallbiggrin:

2-My thanks to my suppporters. You shall be rewarded, even if I have to pay out of my own pocket to do so.:smallsmile:

[Zar Peter]

Hmm... seems I misinterpreted a lot here...

Anyway... For GREED! Everyone who supports me gets 100 gold and 2 strength points.

[Saint Nil]

If it was just a misinterpetation, I'll let you surrender.

[Uncle Festy]

Alright.
Switching to defending Nil.
… and get ninja'd by a new offer.
Considering it doesn't really look like you'd be in a position to give power levels (aka you're going to lose) I'll stay where I am until it looks possible for that to happen.
Of course, if I should just happen to find those 100 gold in my coffers right now, I might be persuaded to change my mind. :smallwink:

[Saint Nil]

You'll get that money anyway if I win.:smallamused: Besides, there is no way he can pay out that to ALL the neutrals. And if he can, you'll get it win I win.

[Reinholdt]

I'm going to have to defend Nil for now. Largely because Zar didn't run this war by me first.

It is my hope that he'll get back online in time to accept Nil's offer, though, and request that Trixie provide sufficient time for Zar to answer.

[Helgraf]

I support Saint Nil.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Yeah, okay. Support Nil. Even if it's only because Peter jumped to perfectly rational conclusions.

FIND THAT MAGE YOU GREEDSTERS! Cash prizes abound.

[Zar Peter]

NEVER SURRENDER!! FOR MY COUNTRY! FOR BLOOD! FOR GREED!!!!


It doesn't matter anymore. Go down fighting! I'm a BERSERK after all...

[Dallas-Dakota]

Support Nil I suppose, don't really have a idea here, but my duke finds it a good enough idea to support Nil, then I suppose it is.

[Trixie]

It is my hope that he'll get back online in time to accept Nil's offer, though, and request that Trixie provide sufficient time for Zar to answer.

Later the witnesses would say that the felt something in the air before the day began. Something most foul. It was a perfect, sunny day in the Reinholdt's domain, with stainless, cloudless sky, the color of thee finest watercolor blue paint.

An yet, perfectly at noon, a terrible crack was heard through the domain, as a single lighting hit the top of Reinholdt's tower.

Some witnesses, at least those with a faint grasp of something called "reading" later swore it was bent in the shape saying "YOU FORGET TO ADD "PLEASE", but nobody believed them, as the whole concept of writing was surely unholy blasphemy inspired by devils and daemons.

[Trixie]

So, is this it?

Looks like so.

Zar Peter had to agree. For the very first time in history, the entire (well, almost) army remaining under command of the King and his loyal vassals stood against a lone target.

Which would have looked impressive if we weren't on the receiving end of it, he thought.

Okay, sarge... One thing at a time - tell your soldiers to assume offensive formation.

Offensive, sir?

Yeah... And spread word to the men: Tell them they might take our lives, but they will not take our honor! Tell them we win this day, or we will die trying! We will not retreat! If we die, we will die standing!

Yes, sir! anything else?

Indeed... Though the enemy might have foul sorceries at his side, and innumerable Mages plotting our downfall... Our sacrifice today will not be forgotten! Never*! Charge, like true sons of the north!

Waaagh!

*which, I'm afraid, wasn't true if we consider a period longer than five minutes.

As for who won, though...

Well...

What were you expecting? :smalltongue:

That was sort of obvious, wasn't it?

Gold and/or spoils sent.

[Trixie]

Round 20.2 - Duke gives gold to his noble

A few random notes:

You know, the more I watch the game, the more I think no one (with two exceptions) bothered to use all the rules in the book, or no one is willing to use the more nasty things they could do to the other side of the conflict.

Since the giant Murska conflict no one has spend even one gold (except for a little spying), which, given the recent lack of actions from certain NPCs means that in a few rounds we will... but I won't spoil that little suprise :smalltongue:

There were more, but I decided not to spoil them, to not hurt the chance of players that might be using indirect victory tactics :smalltongue:

[Helgraf]

Hmmm. What happened with the gold production this turn?

EDIT: Ahh, that's what happened. Nevermind. :smallredface:

[Trixie]

Everything is normal. Why? :smallconfused:

Round 20.3 - Wars/Actions/Backstabbery now begins :smalltongue:

[Dallas-Dakota]

:smallfurious:
I may have not been giving this game all of the attention it deserves, but I have been busy.
But the? a? evil mage attacked me. Burned 24 of my shiny gold pieces.

I will give 20 gold to whoever finds that mage!:smallannoyed:

Noble Dakota is not amused.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Your King will add ten gold to that bounty. Yes, that's right, that's two people hunting the same guy, with a total price of thirty gold on his head. Start turning in your neighbours, folks.

[Trixie]

Year 21.1 - King distributes gold.

[Trixie]

Year 21.2 Duke -Gold-> Noble.

[Trixie]

By the way - we've been swamped in massive amounts of PM's/actions/orders (about three dozen since before yesterday) so if your precious little action didn't received a confirmation you might want to remind us about that.

In sound quantities, I'd like to add, to not make things worse :smalltongue:

[Trixie]

Year 21.3 Wars, etc.

I wanted to give a certain noble several more hours (plus, there was brief forum outage this morning) to send gold, but it looks like he won't. Pity :smallsigh:

Besides, given recent (dis)activity I'm pretty sure we will have the same amount of wars as always :smalltongue:

[Trixie]

Year 22.1 King etc.

[Lamech]

Hey how does this game come to and end?

[Trixie]

When everyone concerned die out of boredom.

Or there is one player left standing.

Or someone kills all rival players in RL.

Really, the possibilities are truly endless :smalltongue:

You know, if I ever narrate UG again there are going to be some serious changes in some rules.

[Jontom Xire]

The game ends when there are three sequential years with no wars.

Year 20 and 21 had no wars, so if there are no wars this year then the game will end and the player with the most gold will win.

[Trixie]

Year 22.2 Nobles, etc.

[Jontom Xire]

Get warring guys! I was really looking forward to a last-man-standing result! Not ending the game with a whimper!

[Trixie]

Get warring guys! I was really looking forward to a last-man-standing result! Not ending the game with a whimper!

You're saying this in the game where last 10 turns had only two rebellions :smallamused:

[Dallas-Dakota]

Yeah, no can´t do, I´m a pacifist....

[Trixie]

Yup, it's such a shame. Half of the players are absent, waiting to be looted, about 1/3 are pacifists, and that remaining 20% who are in perfect position to manipulate the whole chessboard and win effortlessly simply don't care :smalltongue:

By the way - this is the first turn where two strategically placed rebellions can net the victor a nice, four digit loot :smallamused: Not it that would be so easy to collect, though.

[Lamech]

Hey everyone who is NOT inactive? It would be really nice to know...

[Trixie]

You're not expecting them to answer you, honestly, do you? :smallwink:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

....

Well, I laid down the law against magic-users a long time ago. Time to work it out. I call for the execution of known mage-harbourer, Helgraf.

There may or may not be another. And, of course, I so rarely win at anything that I don't rightly care if I lose.

[Trixie]

Wrong round! :smallsigh:

I wonder why people alway wait two years with their actions :smallsigh:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

.....

I wanted to get it in because I didn't know if the round would end before I got home.

[Trixie]

Um, I meant that there is still about 10 hours before phase of a year (round) 22.3, when you can battle to your heart's content. :smallsigh:

Still, to all of you - better concentrate on finding worthy targets when the day comes - we want blood! Lots of it! :smalltongue:

[Helgraf]

Let it be known - barring alliance requirements, I will kill whomever is the fattest calf of those who oppose me so that my allies may benefit the most. I am more than willing to burn gold to learn how much you have available.

EDIT: I already know your base powerlevels.

So if you happen to like your gold and/or powerlevels as they are, you would do well to support me or remain neutral.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

And I won't be taking any powerlevels or gold for myself. I'll divide it up evenly among anyone who HELPS ME PURGE THIS LAND OF ALL MAGES!

[Trixie]

Looks like someone will be poor this year.

Year 22.3 Wars, actions, etc. Now is the time :smalltongue:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I'm still declaring that execution of Helgraf.

Yeah. Don't care if I lose or make money.

[Lamech]

I oppose this attack on Helgraf Long ago you had the chance to attack Helgraf and his mage, but you did nothing. In fact you protected him. I see this as nothing more than attempt to eliminate a foe.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Actually at that time it was because I didn't know who to trust, didn't actually know he had a mage, and we wouldn't have won anyway.

[Helgraf]

Obviously, I oppose this farce of justice perpetrated by the King.

[Uncle Festy]

… hm.
Services go to the highest bidder. Name your prices.

[Saint Nil]

I'm still declaring that execution of Helgraf.

Yeah. Don't care if I lose or make money.

I support.:smallannoyed:

My gold has been burned TWICE!!!

[Reinholdt]

I oppose the attack on Helgraf.