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[Jamin]

So tell what you think of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSjNqPJNfZw

[Thiel]

Fist thing that pops into my head:
Record the sound separately. This gives you a number of advantages.
1) If you want to change some of the dialogue, you don't have to film it all over again.

2) You can control the sound much better. I realise that you're going for the documentary feel, but still, that humming in the background and the sound of you moving around is annoying without adding anything positive to the experience.

3) Doing a good job as a voice actor is far easier when standing up, rather than lying on your tummy in a hallway. And you get to have the script in front of you when you do it, which is a nassive help even if you're not using it.

[rankrath]

As Thiel said, record sound separately, and get rid of the hand. Other than that, it's a well written, decently recorded video.