Supernaturals Presents - 1st complete story

[falconire]

After six months of posting I've finished my first complete story. The story is set in Alaska in the late 19th century, and is a Victorian supernatural tale.


www.supernaturalspresents.com

[amuletts]

Congartulations on finishing you first story. The art looks really classic and well done.

[falconire]

Thank you, I appreciate the complement.

[Fri]

I remember when you first posted that webcomic. Nice that you managed to finish a story and fix the website layout.

The art is great, but that's for granted, because the artist is a professional. The story is interesting enough, but from what the writing seems a bit... choppy for me.

But maybe because this is just an origin story. Origin stories are like long movie trailers.

Dunno how to explain it. I guess sometimes the dialog/writing just isn't... flowing really well from panel to panel or page to page? And the constant jump on setting and time. I mean, you used too much "Month X year Z". Once or twice is fine, but using them too much and, especially, using them too close to each other kinda grate me. I guess it's the 'choppy' part.

But I understand your reason though. Like I said before, it's a somewhat origin story, and I guess you kinda aim for somewhat noir-ish/pulp fiction-ish feel.

It reminds me on a Freedom Force video game campaign mod, The Strangers Saga, that's coincidentally, also deal with victorian/pulp fiction feeling. Great idea, great setting, cool enough characters, but really, really choppy writing, with short chapters that almost never explain or did anything and God, too much "location x, month y, year z" jumping.

[TheDeeMan]

Congrats on the new comic. I'll be sure to check it out.

Dee