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View Full Version : Fun/Funny/Strange/Unusual/Weird/etc character concepts you have done, or thought of.



newbDM
2009-01-18, 07:08 PM
Every once-in-a-while an idea for a character will pop into my head, and I sometimes stat them out for fun. This got me pondering what characters some of the other members here might created in the past, or considered. Preferably ones that do not fit into the regular cliches of PCs like "I want gold!", "I wish to become a hero!", "I want to be remembered as a legendary hero!", since they just seem extremely overdone.




I have been thinking of this one since yesterday morning, and it just won't leave me until I stat him up:

Amatae ("Beauty Lover" in Elven)

Background Info:
Amatae is the grand-nephew of the Grims (my recurring character). He learned from his grand-uncle(s) his psionic training to become psion.

He is an admirer of female beauty within all races/sentient creatures.

Character Goal:
Amatae has one goal he has been aspiring to for most of the last century. He desires to find a way to layer 570 of the abyss: Shendilavri. He is quite aware what would happen to him if he ever got there, however, he claims it will be "The best one hour of my life!".

orchitect
2009-01-18, 08:00 PM
Funny. I have a few friends who that reminds me of. It also brings to mind an issue of Avengers Initiative with Stature (a giantess): "Crushed by giant jailbait... I know guys who would pay to die like that!"


Right now I'm rping a dwarf raised by ogres. In the warhammer universe this is incredibly unlikely to happen, but there is one story of ogres raising a human girl so I used it as a precedent. Her goals are to find her tribe, which left her in a tavern one night, and eat atleast one of every monster she kills. the idea is that if she does this when she dies the great maw (the ogre god) won't eat her out of awe/intimidation.

I just statted a crazy idea for an ogre nymphomaniac. yeah, I have a thing for ogres, and bugbears so I'm not THAT shallow! :smallbiggrin:

I also read about this one halfling that thought he was a dwarf troll slayer. He ran around with a bright orange mohawk, bare chested waving a skillet. That was awesome. :smallcool:

Aron Times
2009-01-18, 08:13 PM
Amish Malkavian. Who didn't serve as comic relief (he was more creepy than funny).

Lasombra cowboy who wielded two magnums (Potence!).

I win.

Assassin89
2009-01-18, 08:22 PM
I though of this funny character concept:

What spawned you?
Half-elf half-dwarf character.

My 3.5 edition character
might try to rp being raised near elves.

Nahal
2009-01-18, 08:26 PM
Man-whore/FBI agent. Former GM had a homebrew system with an optional perk that basically made you the sexiest person alive; I built a character around it.

In a 3.5 campaign the plot got so nutty I created an insanity chart for my wizard which I rolled on whenever I got bored. One of the options was "cast an offensive spell," and I managed to break us out of a sort of psychic prison by nuking the party with fireballs after rolling on the chart.

TheCountAlucard
2009-01-18, 09:08 PM
SWSE: I'm playing a Twi'lek slaver named Tykoga. He invested a rather sizable portion of his fortune with the Republic during the Clone Wars; however, at the end, the Empire refused to reimburse him for his expenses, even going so far as to attempt to court-martial him.

Tykoga is currently stationed on a base hidden from the Empire. While aiding the efforts of the others on the base, Tykoga is also working toward becoming a powerful crime lord.

Lert, A.
2009-01-18, 09:12 PM
A five drone subset of the Borg collective who resembled a self-contained high-school teen drama.

And that was just my character.

woodenbandman
2009-01-18, 09:18 PM
I have a character who is a middle aged elf who acts curmudgeonly and weak as his main form of offense, playing dead and such, all the while using his guile and cunning to do things like trip people and stuff. Basically a lockdown/tripper build who uses int and cha added to his saves, AC, to trip, and stuff via Factotum/Marshal stuff.

Then there was Carson, the very flamboyant criminal boss bard who runs a smuggling ring out of the back of his opera house and pays everyone off.

Avor
2009-01-18, 09:24 PM
A half orc samurai raised by dwarves and best friends with a gnome.

I like the fact he's LG half orc, confuses rhe **** out NPC humans

Prometheus
2009-01-18, 09:33 PM
An earlier thread of mine about bizarre character concepts (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91723)

-A halfling who is insistent that it is his mission in life to become a Frost Giant (specifically, the king of them) when he has never met a Frost Giant before and has no reason to believe this. I haven't decided (and more importantly, the halfling hasn't decided) how he will go about achieving said goal, but the fairly obvious thing is that it will be a best a bizarre charade and at worst a complete failure.

-A construct originally designed as a sexbot for a now-dead wizard. Robbed of her prime directive, "she" now tries to integrate into society as a normal person. She has only been trained to speak in sexual phrases, and therefore adopts these phrases to communicate nonsexual comments. For example "Oooh, yeah" would be her typical response for "yes", "Do you think you can handle me, big boy" might be an attempt to threaten someone, and "Hold me, now" would indicate fear or caution. Now I'm not a pervert, but I think this character concept would be a) amusing to say the least b) a surreal contrast to any situation c) ironic in that many people would think she is always being sarcastic when really she is being quite literal. Of course, I don't know if I could actually play a character like this and be taken as the source of amusement rather than the subject thereof.

-A large ooze that behaves more like Flubber (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flubber) than The Blob (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blob). Literally with the mind of a child, the ooze is carefree and playful even as it is too large to fit anywhere and burns things at its touch. Deep inside, he just wishes someone could learn to love a thing like him. Awwww everyone says at the hideous muck with disintegrating bones hanging off the sides.

I think there is another thread about bizarre clerics, including one that doesn't believe in gods, one that worships himself, one that worships a rat whose only power is to make the ground shake, one that worship multiple deities that argue in his head.

Thurbane
2009-01-18, 09:37 PM
I'd love to play an Ibixian (Goatfolk) warrior type whose primary weapon is his headbutt, with a Scottish accent (i.e. Glasgow kiss)...

"Take tha' Jimmy!" :smallbiggrin:

BRC
2009-01-18, 09:53 PM
One of my Shadowrun characters had multiple personalities, probably done in such a way that anybody who was actually familiar with the disorder would cry, but it was all for fun. He had two sets of skills and mental stats (they were very similar, basically just a slight variation for the different personalities. For example Jeff (The "Dr Jeykel" personality) had Diplomacy, while Bruce (The "Mr Hyde") Had Intimidate). The GM picked when he switched, and it was generally pretty fun to play.



A Dread Necromancer who, for some reason, dosn't recognize that his minions are Undead, or that he is raising them. He just thinks his shambling zombie horde is made up of friendly people who feel like doing what he says.


A Sorceror who grew up in an isolated society that greatly frowned on arcane magic, especially sorcerors. Therefore, even though he is in a more tolerant society now, he always tries to explain away his spells as somthing else, for example : *Casts a fireball" Wow, it looks like they must have had some highly volatile alchohol in those waterskins, and it got lit on fire somehow!"
For extra fun, do the above ,only they actually believe it themselves. They are convinced that they are not a sorceror, merely someone whose enemies get struck by quite a bit of lightening.

JerryMcJerrison
2009-01-18, 09:57 PM
In the Exalted campaign I'm in, my character blew half of his starting charms (innate magics) on one that increases his health levels. In a game where most people have 7-10 health, The Shadow That Does Not Yield to the Dawn has 21. He's also an Abyssal, a deathknight whose purpose is to steep the whole of the world in the emptiness of the Void.

My future plans in terms of statistical development involve getting charms that allow him to learn the holy magic that his previous incarnations wielded, specifically the ability to summon a sword made of holy fire, which subsequently shoots holy fire. I also intend to get him magical disguises that will glamour his armor, which is made of the souls of the damned, as mundane, colorful clothing.

I plan to confuse the everloving @#%$ out of some protagonists. For now, I scare the #&@! of them by letting people sink axes into my face, then laughing it off. And by that I mean he laughs until the axe falls out of his face.

Edit: Evil Overlord's List #29: I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

orchitect
2009-01-18, 09:59 PM
I think there is another thread about bizarre clerics, including one that doesn't believe in gods, one that worships himself, one that worships a rat whose only power is to make the ground shake, one that worship multiple deities that argue in his head.


I like that part about the rat. I love rats. If I was a cleric I'd worship that rat too. :smallbiggrin:

shadowfox
2009-01-18, 10:08 PM
It was epic level, but...

Jeebus, the level 26 Half-Dragon (Red) Catfolk Rogue (ECL 30). Our DM had "calculated" our starting gold at 4.2 million if memory serves. (By "calculated," I just mean that I don't know where he got the number from.) Well, he created a fake religion ("Jeebism"), which claimed that he was a living demi-god on his way to greatness, and a church along with it. Now, he started it as a front for his thieves' guild and black market, but he eventually started to believe his own lie.

And when you can walk on a cloud at will (Skill Mastery, a bunch of feats, and a Dexterity score of 110), wouldn't you start considering your own lie to be the truth? (Maybe you need to be a bit self-centered, but...)

zakk2to2
2009-01-18, 10:22 PM
an awakened sorcerer bonsai tree. the ultimate in portable buffs. eventualy i will get one of my dm's to allow this and the spell will so be cast with maximize metamagic applied.

mabriss lethe
2009-01-18, 11:12 PM
-Well, the last character I've had a chance to play was a riot. He's a CN cleric of Set in what is otherwise an all good party....including a Lawful Jackass "All evil must DIE." paladin. He spends most of his time and energy convincing the paladin that he's one of the good guys. Right now his battle crys have been "For the glory of Se...omebody!" and "I'm too pretty to die!" He's since been retired to NPC status as a walking band-aid for the party since I had to take over DMing the game.

-Same game, last session. I pitted my players against "The Color Coded Assassin Drag Queens." (a handful of swordsages in armored evening wear with such colorful names as Busty O'Chopps, Sister Sledge, and Tucker.)

AslanCross
2009-01-18, 11:31 PM
My brother and I once had the idea of running a campaign where there was only one good character in a party of evil humanoids/giants. The good character was assigned by his church or government to "resocialize" the other guys and help them find a legitimate place in society. Basically he'd be a parole officer.

If it were up to us, the "leader' would be a lightning draconian paladin (Dragonlance Campaign Setting; metallic draconians are corrupt and evil, while chromatic draconians got the evil negated out of them when they were created and ended up noble). He'd have gnolls, ogres, and maybe even an ogre mage in the party.

The parole officer would get into trouble a lot due to his charges' habits, which may include the ogre barbarian getting into a bar fight, stealing the door, and using it as a shield.

zakk2to2
2009-01-18, 11:34 PM
doors are loot to if your carefull

Zedd
2009-01-18, 11:42 PM
I had a mage with very low constitution who, on purpose but not foreseeing the outcome, transferred his mind to a construct. His intelligence fell in a matter of days and the joy of being able to 'move freely' slowly started turning into a desperate attempt to stop the intelligence loss (which was not noted at first). The conflict added to make a very interesting character who, while at least above-average intelligent (he started with a 17 and decaid from that to an 'artificial-3', meaning whe was considered a 'non-intelligent being' for all purpouses) developed weapons and enhanced itself magically.

By the end of the character (he had a commom-sounding name like Aior, which was never used because we (theplayers) called him 'strech splatch' - the sound he made when walking with his left rotten leg and cane, while still in human body) he was fairly powerful in combat, but so stupid I had to let him become an NPC. The NPC was never used again because that campaign world died off, but DAMN, it would be most awesome were my future adventurers to encounter him.

Specially because by the end, still with the 'mage intelligence', he designed A LOT of 'programs' to run at a later time. Kinda like 'okay, I'm going to get stupider and stupider, but I need to stop the evil wizard Karkalas from destroying the world in two years, so I'll program myself to storm his fortress and kill whichever pure virgin he plans to sacrifice'.

Jayngfet
2009-01-18, 11:49 PM
Two words: Kobold seductress.


To elaborate: My DM said our next campane would have lots of dragons and probably kobolds, so I figured a game of groin scrabble would allow for sneak attacks and nothing says you can't shoot acid splash out of you're orifices.

xPANCAKEx
2009-01-19, 12:27 AM
this thread got to 6 pages on a similar subject

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91723

orchitect
2009-01-19, 01:30 AM
this thread got to 6 pages on a similar subject

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=91723

I love that part about the gnome "paladin" who followed "Chigger, god of soups!" That is utter genius.

D_Lord
2009-01-19, 01:42 AM
I had an idea for an huge Nightmare canpain, I even got people on the forums to help me with creating monsters for it, we didn't do that many games before it fell apart. Should have made it better if they were to game long enough to get to epic to try and stop the Nightmare Lord.
See here for some of the great work you guys did. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=75641)

Randel
2009-01-19, 02:13 AM
I once statted up a first level human cleric with Fell Animate and Divine Metamagic(Fell Animate). Thus, once per day she could kill something with a spell to raise it as a zombie.

I made a backstory in which she belonged to a group of healers at a temple who would heal people and accept payment in the form of animals. The animals would then be sacrificed, either as food for the healers or to create zombies for their undeath god. I figured it was cool since they were necromancers who animated stuff like sheep and chickens and cows instead of humans (thus removing a big part of the whole 'necromancy is evil' thing) they would heal people and for the most part the animating was just to revere their god who was a god of life and undeath.

The zombies were kept a secret. The townspeople might not have minded but paladins from other churches might have used this as an excuse to attack them so the temple would regularly lead their herd of zombie animals into an abandoned dungeon and just shove them in there and lock the door. If adventurers stumbled upon the ruins they would find a complex filled with generations worth of undead livestock who had just been shoved there to get them out of sight, there's no treasure in the place.

I made her neutral and channeling negative energy for rebuke undead, but then gave her the healing domain for some extra healing power and a modification so she would spontaniously cast spells from the healing domain (which is nice since in higher levels she could cast regenerate instead of a cure spell). Dressed in white like a normal cleric of healing.


Never got to play her though, I did get in a game with a kind of butchered form of her general concept. Only allowed core stuff so she was evil, had to prepare cure spells and had the trickery domain to disguise as a cleric of healing... and was looking for an artifact that would let her sacrifice things to make them zombies without the cost in onyx. It didn't last long.

Whiplord
2009-01-19, 02:28 AM
Mongrelfolk Frenzied Berserker who wants to be a dancer. Dump dex and proceed to roleplay grace.

Karma Guard
2009-01-19, 02:57 AM
I mention him a lot, but the best idea me and a friend ever came up with was this: Nyss-K'Kar.

A Githyanki (using the non-Psionic variant in a game where psionics existed. He had an unusually strong streak of Red Dragon in his heritage.) Paladin of Tyr. Lawful Good. He was gruff and angry and childish and very petty, but he genuinely worked at being LG and he loved being around kids (seriously he was like AAAA A BABY :Dc let me hold your child yaaaaay :Dc) and he was very egalitarian when it came to women. He also believed very much in redemption, being, well. A Githyanki. He was terrified of dragons (due to a childhood accident) and loved LOVED Nightmares and constantly complained about how terrible horses were as a mount and why can't I have a Nightmare mount? Wah wah wah. He also loved beef and would live off beef stew, the kind with very few vegetables, from inns if he could.

Of course, he LOOKED the part of a Githyanki. Long red hair, weird skinny physique and filed-sharp teeth. And a lot of jewelry he didn't want to give up but he did in the name of the Church. In return he keeps his armor spiked and proper shiny. He also tended to strip down to the bare minimum for public presentation when he didn't need to armor up. Githyanki, what can you do?

His Charisma was surprisingly good, in a gruff way (no more than 16, but more than 10). It was his Wisdom that he dumped. :V

At one point he made an EPIC AS ALL GET OUT bluff roll and scared off a Red Dragon that was attacking the church he and his ward were rooming in. Then he threw up and almost passed out from sheer terror. :V And that was how he got his third level of Paladin.

(His ward/keeper is another story, and another post. Githzerai cleric of Illmater. He has issues, but not the kind you'd think!)

Lycanthromancer
2009-01-19, 03:07 AM
I had an epic-level anthro-raccoon psion, Yarram (really just a reflavored gray elf) with his anthro-fox psychic warrior/illithid slayer cohort and lover, Yantze (who was a reflavored human).

They were the two strongest survivors of the illithid apocalypse (where the mind flayers attempted to slingshot the world into the sun, killing most of the life on the surface as a result). They were considered heroes by most for stopping the illithids' mad plan, but were also ex-communicates from the church and were considered criminals by several governments for the 'crime' of homosexuality. It was a very interesting dilemma, since they were considered 'evil' by those in charge, and yet they clearly had nothing but good deeds under their belts, and were the only people strong enough to successfully and repeatedly resist the mind-flayers (and everyone knew it, too).

Their primary goal was to prevent further attempts from the mind flayers to catapult the world into the sun, and to hunt down every illithid they could reach. They also had a salve of opposite alignment (similar to the helm). Their plan was to find an elder brain, turn it Good, then use it to mind seed (non-evil version) every other illithid and elder brain they could get their paws on.

Failing that, they'd kill all the bastards until there were none left.

Archpaladin Zousha
2009-01-19, 01:28 PM
I haven't played this character yet, but I'm considering her as a possibility when I retire my current 4e character.

Everyone? I'd like you to meet Abellia Otumbar, a human warlock who made a most unusual deal with the devils.

"People take one look at me and are either disgusted or curious. Either way, I relish the attention!"
Concept and Background

1. The first thing most people notice about Abellia is the fact that she is, for lack of a better term, fat. She immediately draws looks, especially since the general community of adventurers are well-chiseled and godlike. She's not completely hideous, and she has a pretty face, but most onlooker's eyes are immediately drawn to her gut.
2. The second thing that most people notice is the fact that she doesn't conceal her body but displays it openly, wearing revealing attire and actively flirting with handsome men she comes across in her travels. She's entirely comfortable with who she is, and when a person is rude about her flaunting her body, she either ignores them or delivers a potentially explosive comeback.
3. Abellia forged an Infernal Pact with a devil named Q'adzag'gonex when she was in her early teens. She'd recently suffered a bad break-up with a boyfriend, supposedly because she wasn't slim enough for him, and used some magic tomes her parents, who were retired adventurers had acquired, to summon him. Q'adzag'gonex immediately offered her great power in exchange for her soul, as devils do, but Abellia quickly turned him down, instead talking the fiend's ear off about her romantic troubles. In a desperate attempt to get away from her, Q'adzag'gonex offered a different contract. Being a devil dedicated to a specific sin, he offered her great power, provided she became an exemplar of the vice he embodied. Abellia signed without knowing the full consequences.
4. Q'adzag'gonex's sin was gluttony, and it wasn't long before Abellia found herself in the state she was today. This left her more emotionally vulnerable than before, and she summoned the fiend to try and break the contract. Q'adzag'gonex soothed her fears, claiming that she need not worry about finding love even as her stomach growled. If someone was so closed-minded as to reject someone's love due to physical qualities, they weren't worth her time. It wasn't long before Abellia decided to strike out on her own and find someone who'd love her for who she was, much to the dismay of her parents, who had already been startled by their daughter's sudden change in appetite and temperment.
5. Unforutnately for Abellia, the insidious whisperings of Q'adzag'gonex have influenced her personality more and more, driving her into ethically troubling territory. She's not an evil person, but she's too selfish, spoiled and lazy to take up the banner of good. While her self-conciousness isn't as bad, it's quickly being replaced by a love of debauchery that may get her into trouble.

"I still have a few hopes from my childhood, but I'm not much for thinking of the future, y'know? Why worry about tommorow when you can enjoy yourself today?"
Goals

1. Abellia has spent the majority of her life looking for a husband, or at least a lover, who will accept her, flaws and all. She'd prefer this man to be wealthy and handsome, but she's not too picky. Really!
2. Abellia is also looking for a way to turn the tables on her patron Q'adzag'gonex, so she can keep her powers, but not be ruled by her grumbling belly. As much as she's comfortable with herself, she tends to rack up absurdly large food bills and it annoys her when she gets hungry in the middle of a dungeon crawl.


"You think I'm going to spill everything on the first date? Uh-uh! We're gonna need to be a bit more...intimate...for that." She smiles coyly.
Secrets

1. Every day that passes by, Abellia grows more and more worried about the status of her pact. While she at least claims she's trying to get out of it, part of her feels a perverse attraction to her size and shape, and she fears that some day, she might willingly give up her soul to Q'adzag'gonex having grown to enjoy her lifestyle.
2. One part of the pact that Abellia did not read when she signed states that with each use of her powers her patron steals a portion of her soul, rather than signing off the whole soul at once. This is how Q'adzag'gonex has gained more and more influence over her. On the day she dies, if her sins (marked by the fragments of soul lost) outweigh her virtues (represented by how much of her soul remains) she will be consigned to the Nine Hells and be at Q'adzag'gonex's mercy.
3. Reserved for DM surprise secret


"I've known a lot of people. In more ways than you think!" She winks.
Contacts

1. Abellia's parents, Hamnet and Pamina Otumbar, care very deeply for their daughter, and are understandably concerned over her sudden changes and her leaving. Still, they always are willing to give her and any companions she has with her a place to stay. As retired adventurers, they’re fairly knowledgeable about ruins and dungeons, as well as the potential hazards of treasures (such as the tomes that Abellia used to make her pact).
2. Q'adzag'gonex has an unusual relationship with Abellia. While they argue almost every time they meet face-to-face, and he whispers dark thoughts into Abellia’s head when he’s not physically present, they seem to have almost a mutual affection. Abellia knows that without the devil, she wouldn’t be the woman that she is today, and is often quick to remind people that know about him that for a devil of gluttony he’s pretty damn handsome. Q'adzag'gonex, likewise, claims to regard Abellia as a burden on his time, and that he’s only interested in stealing her soul. But if pressed, he’ll confess that he’s actually proud of Abellia and considers her to be one of his finest disciples, hinting that he plans on giving her a place by his side in The Nine Hells.
3. Baron Rutherson is a disgraced young nobleman that Abellia once conned. He was known as the eccentric son of a wealthy family, and when he met Abellia at a costume party she’d crashed he fell for her at once. She lived on the Rutherson estate for few months as Rutherson’s mistress, and having him pamper her like a true noblewoman. Abellia got bored with the relationship however, especially since Rutherson was a shallow prick who only wanted her body. While she’s comfortable with her body, she didn’t want that to be the defining thing in a relationship. So one night, she fled the Rutherson estate with as much of his wealth as she could get away with. She was able to live quite luxuriously off of it, while Rutherson was cast out of his family and forced to take up work to make ends meet. He is currently trying to track Abellia, both out of a desire for revenge and the unspoken fact that he still lusts for her.


“Memories? Gee, it’s hard to think of one particular one. Lifetime of hedonism does that to you.”
Memories

1. Abellia’s most vivid memory is when she first summoned Q’adzag’gonex. She remembers sobbing for hours before, and grabbing the books without thinking. She remembers the smell of brimstone, and the handsome being that had appeared before her. The fear and attraction to him and the pact has come to define her life.
2. Abellia remembers the adrenaline rush she felt ripping off Baron Rutherson. Fingering through his valuables that she’d had free range over for the past few months and taking what she thought would look best on her and what would sell best, and then stealing off into the night, grinning ear to ear at swindling that pig.
3. Abellia also remembers the first time she used her warlock powers. She remembers the heat coursing through her body, and the dark throbbing she felt in her head when she used them. The goblin she was attacking stood no chance. But what sticks most in her mind is the fact that after the battle she felt like she was starving, although she had eaten just about an hour ago. When her group stopped at an inn a few minutes later she ate enough to feed three people.

Design Notes

I'll be the first to admit that this character is blatant fanservice for myself. My favorite line from The Princess Bride is "Sleep well, and dream of large women." I'd been ogling this picture (http://ctd-fa.deviantart.com/art/neither-dark-nor-light-83992928) for a little while, and thought it'd be interesting to make a D&D character that wasn't a twiggy elf or a Conan. Part of why I wrote out her pact the way I did was to ensure that she kept her bulk, since adventuring is naturally phyiscally strenuous, and a great way to lose weight. I know my preferences are probably going to raise a few eyebrows and possibly a few tempers. Part of what I'd like is to flesh out (no pun intended), her character so she's more interesting than just a flirty fat warlock.


What do you guys think? Surprised? Offended? Intrigued?

AdamSmasher
2009-01-19, 01:47 PM
I had a gnome once.

Yeah.


But for real, though. It was a cleric 3/Beguiler 7/Divine Prankster 5/Shadowcraft Mage 5. He posed as a cleric of garl glittergold and traveled the countryside pulling lighthearted pranks on entire villages at once.

One time, he used the enage ability of the divine prankster and hit someone in the face with an egg out of nowhere.

Later on, we needed an egg for something. I forget what. The conversation went like this:

"Could you conjure up another egg like before?"

"I can't conjure."

"You just carry eggs around, then?"

"Of course not!"

"Then where'd you get that egg?"

"That wasn't an egg, silly!"

"Then what was it?"

"A joke."

"A... joke? That doesn't make any sense."

"Do. Not. Qustion... The Glittergold... Tee hee!"

d13
2009-01-19, 02:06 PM
I once played an Arachnophobic Elf Sorceress...

Something like the "insanity chart" a few posts above, whenever she saw a spider or spider-like creature x).


...In an underdark-like campaign :D



Only the Barbarian and the Rogue managed to stay alive after the dice rolled: "39: Fireball at medium range".

orchitect
2009-01-19, 02:27 PM
What do you guys think? Surprised? Offended? Intrigued?

I like it. I can't be a hypocrite in this, afterall my dwarf gal believes in the ogre diety the Great Maw whose only command is to eat. Ogres take pride in the size of their guts and how much food they can eat so to be accepted in ogre society Greta had to eat a lot and get a rather large gut for a dwarf lass. Now a days she might be pregnant so that belly could be getting a bit bigger... :smallbiggrin:

newbDM
2009-01-19, 03:12 PM
I had a gnome once.

Yeah.


But for real, though. It was a cleric 3/Beguiler 7/Divine Prankster 5/Shadowcraft Mage 5. He posed as a cleric of garl glittergold and traveled the countryside pulling lighthearted pranks on entire villages at once.

One time, he used the enage ability of the divine prankster and hit someone in the face with an egg out of nowhere.

Later on, we needed an egg for something. I forget what. The conversation went like this:

"Could you conjure up another egg like before?"

"I can't conjure."

"You just carry eggs around, then?"

"Of course not!"

"Then where'd you get that egg?"

"That wasn't an egg, silly!"

"Then what was it?"

"A joke."

"A... joke? That doesn't make any sense."

"Do. Not. Qustion... The Glittergold... Tee hee!"


Why would epic level characters need an egg? O.o

Lycanthromancer
2009-01-19, 03:36 PM
Why would epic level characters need an egg? O.o

The truly epic omelets they were making required one?

Baxbart
2009-01-19, 03:37 PM
For a gestalt Eberron game I once played a very confused, but obstinate Warforged. I can't remember the exact build, but it was something along the vein of scout/ranger with the swift hunter feat. His weapon of choice was the bow... only he didn't fire arrows, he threw the bow at people.

For that matter, he threw pretty much anything that came to hand.... swords, axes, polearms....

With Bloodstorm Blade and a couple of feats he was ricocheting his bow (or whatever) off people several times a round as a full attack. I don't think the other players in the game ever came to terms with the fact that the Warforged was getting skirmishing bonuses with a thrown bow, but the DM thought it was hilarious.

I was trying to work out some way of allowing me to use the party halfling as a thrown weapon - but short of a liberal combination of Drunken Master's improvised weapon proficiency and the Bloodstorm Blade's 'throw anything that you're proficient with' I couldn't come up with anything (and hurl ally was kinda rubbish in comparison to full attacking with a 'returning' halfling for skirmish damage...)

I miss Marksman :smallbiggrin:

Archpaladin Zousha
2009-01-19, 11:21 PM
I like it. I can't be a hypocrite in this, afterall my dwarf gal believes in the ogre diety the Great Maw whose only command is to eat. Ogres take pride in the size of their guts and how much food they can eat so to be accepted in ogre society Greta had to eat a lot and get a rather large gut for a dwarf lass. Now a days she might be pregnant so that belly could be getting a bit bigger... :smallbiggrin:

That's Warhammer though, ennit?:smallconfused:

NeoVid
2009-01-20, 06:56 AM
A member of the Guardians of the Veil, the magical secret police, who are known -in fact, it's one of their main jobs- to kill people on their own side for doing things that are too obvious and difficult to cover up...

...who was a 6'4", 350 pound ex-Hell's Angel and ex-con, carried more than one machete in his coat just in case, and was a specialist in Matter magic, probably the most blatantly obvious kind. He also carried water bottles and a watergun, due to the fact that transmuting water into napalm was trivially easy for him. "Smells like.... victory." Even the secret police need obvious police. Just the thought of him teleporting into your room in the middle of the night could keep people in line.

Also, his shadow name was Minax, Latin for 'threatening.' Also a pun on MinMax, though I didn't tell anyone that.

The really funny part is that he ended up becoming highly politically ranked, since the PC cabal made the local leaders leave town by uncovering massive corruption at the top.

Ah, Mage. Still can't get enough after all these years.

Grail
2009-01-20, 07:05 AM
In one group I was playing in, there were 2 male players who would always try to crack onto, or molest female characters. To teach them a lesson, in one sci-fi game, I made a transexual, with the sole purpose of letting them get friendly with. We were playing GURPS, and I had her/him a real freak.

It was quite funny when Michael's character decided to get friendly. Especially when she tied him up and and went wild.

hmmmm, maybe you had to be there. Seriously, it was funny, and he never tried to take advantage of female characters again (that I know of).

potatocubed
2009-01-20, 07:16 AM
Heh heh heh... now where do I start?

Rutger Haffenrichter, the Urbane Gangrel. He started out as a pun (on urban Gangrel, a bloodline) and became a bloodline all his own.

Funkmaster Flexx, ginger-beareded afro-wearing dwarf bard. Primary weapon was a shovel. Secondary weapon a reinforced guitar. Hollowed out a cow once, to keep warm, since his outfit consisted of invincible boots, leather trousers and a commodore's epaulettes. His main adversary was a kung-fu-fighting illithid in a psionically powered exoskeleton.

Sten Treefeller, druid and lumberjack. Killed by a crappy WotC adventure. :smallannoyed:

Volothet, ancient druid with a missing elephant. Clubbed people with an elephant goad and turned into a tree a lot.

An as-yet-unnamed Malkavian vampire whose derangement is complete catatonia. The character is actually his wraith girlfriend, who possesses his comatose body and wanders around wearing it like a cheap suit.

Ubar, goblin enchanter/mindbender. Charisma 17, Strength 4, Ego stupendous. Wore a turban with a spike in it and rode around on a giant flying crossbow.

Sharkey McSporran, gnome assassin. "Technically, any animal that digs its way out of your stomach is a burrowing animal."

The Top, superhero. His only power was the ability to spin round really fast, since in M&M 1st edition super-spinning was one of the best powers you could get (and totally ridiculous).

And that's just the PCs. The NPCs get stranger and stranger...

Malacode
2009-01-20, 07:42 AM
Umm, I had an idea for an anthro centipede that uses 12 wands stored in gloves of Gloves of Casting (Or whatever they're called). It's be like a beholder and his eye rays, only odder. I posted the orginal concept earlier today, actually, in another thread

AngelSword
2009-01-20, 08:32 AM
One character concept I had that never saw fruition (yet) is my kobold lich. The idea sprang up when a friend of mine proposed a game that was supposed to be the "Monster game to end all monster games©." The only problem was that, at 8th level, it was financially impossible to go through the process. I had to settle on the Aasimar cleric of Wee Jas, whose sallow and sullen demeanor matched that of his undead army, while still keeping to a lawful neutral mentality.

In another monster (and a rightly evil) game, I played Dirge, a half-fiend mind flayer bard who ran around with a half-fiend githyanki…something or other. The thought was that many years ago, a paladin was fighting a demon in the depths of the planes, and split the demon in half. Knowing that the demon would not be killed, he forced the bits into beings with a deep-seeded-yet-not-too-well-explained racial hatred, and expected that the two would destroy each other, taking the demon with it. Unfortunately for the paladin, the fiend's consciousness took over, and the pair slaughtered the paladin, strung his intestines around an orphanage, and began to devour his face in front of the children.

And then there's Ellis (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1148285210&ref=nf), the mind flayer soulknife NPC poet who has a wicked crush on the party cleric (ironically played by my ladyfriend).What started out as a random encounter, the party subdued the malnourished mind flayer who quickly begged for mercy and handed over plot-important McGuffin #2. Me, as the DM, expected the encounter to end, they'd kill the poor bastard for no other reason than to "spare future victims," and be on their merry way.

Who was I to think that the party would start having those "morals" all the cool kids have these days?

They couldn't, in good conscience, kill him, but had no way of ensuring that he'd no longer prove a threat. Given that he also began the fight by shouting, "A decent meal!" they decided that the best thing to do would be to feed him and take him along. Thus, they handed over the heads of some drow scouts they dispatched earlier (why they brought the heads along with them is beyond me).

So the party's set on taking him with them for good or ill when they come to the realization that he is a ****ing mind flayer. Polite society doesn't take too kindly to things that eat the brains of other things.

Polite society was also coming dangerously close to their location. Quickly, they set about trying to hide the six foot tall, purple, tentacle-faced sore thumb when said six foot tall, purple, tentacle-faced sore thumb grabs a hold of a drow corpse, rips off its shirt, and pulls it over his face, staring dumbfounded at the party through one of the arm holes, wondering why they think it was a bad idea.

From this point, the concept of Ellis (a name taken from hastily thrown together backstory drawn on hastily thrown together adventure plots of past games) just began to snowball. His crush for the cleric borne out of her being the one person who rallied for his life, coupled with a desire to pay her back, and a hilarious interlude involving Shears, the NPC hired to lead the party through the desert and make awkward advances on the cleric (a story for another post).

newbDM
2009-01-20, 06:38 PM
Funkmaster Flexx, ginger-beareded afro-wearing dwarf bard. Primary weapon was a shovel. Secondary weapon a reinforced guitar. Hollowed out a cow once, to keep warm, since his outfit consisted of invincible boots, leather trousers and a commodore's epaulettes. His main adversary was a kung-fu-fighting illithid in a psionically powered exoskeleton.

Did the following song take part in this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0&feature=related


edit:
Oh, and that is a freaking awesome character dude.

Gaire
2009-01-20, 07:02 PM
Twem Sheafsdaughter, a male gnome bard who was angry at EVERYTHING. His motivation was to find his father, Sheaf, and kick him in the 'nads for giving him the 'daughter' name, which was the source of ALL of his anger. And he always rationalized everything so it wasn't his fault. He wasn't mad about being short, he was mad that everyone else was so tall.

Lycanthromancer
2009-01-21, 01:06 AM
I'm playing in a 1p game as *takes a deep breath* a Chaotic Good gestalt (positive energy - similar to a deathless) evolved undead necropolitan kobold factotum//egoist, named Nibo Ghede.

His great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather on his father's side was Pun-Pun (pre-ascension), and he practices ancestor worship, venerating Pun-Pun as the Chaotic Good/Neutral god of self-empowerment and betterment for kobolds everywhere. He suspects that there is both human and dragon blood in his family tree, as his mother had wings, and Nibo himself grew up sporting a full head of fiery red hair that runs down his back all the way to the base of his tail, which ends in a thick tuft (which, of course, is extremely unusual for a kobold).

He grew up best friends (and later on, quite a bit more than just friends) with a Neutral Good human boy named Garou, and the two of them got into a lot of mischief together (but they only really got caught a few times). He practiced hiding from his friend, who was a natural lycanthrope (who had an incredible sense of smell, thus earning Nibo the Darkstalker feat), but neither of them learned he was a were until adolescence hit (Garou's parents were, oddly, not lycanthropes, and they currently are unaware of his condition, as well as Nibo's relationship with him).

Nibo was constantly curious, and thus learned a little here and a little there about just about everything. He longed to be useful, to assist his parents and his tribe, who were on good terms with the other common races in the area (a TN tribe of kobolds? Blasphemous!), so Nibo decided he wanted to try his hand at adventuring, renting himself out as a trap expert for a band of adventurers, with the intent of sending money back to his tribe. Garou stayed behind, mostly due to being slightly younger than his kobold friend.

Unfortunately, the first mission proved to be a disaster, and the entire cave complex his group was exploring collapsed in on itself. He was the only survivor. Nibo managed to tunnel his way through the wreckage to the entrance of the cave, where he disturbed an unstable rock, which crushed him. As he lay there, gasping his dying breath, his vision failing, a strange priest dressed in a top-hat and tails waltzed up to him, offering to "make you whole again."

He agreed.

His breath wheezed out in a death-rattle, and then his world became one of unending, unbearable torment. He awoke, free of the stone that had killed him, and feeling more alive than he did when he was...alive.

He's now undead, and cannot bear the thought of going back to see his friends or family again, and especially Garou, for them to see him wearing this undead shell he now inhabits.

He has no idea just what he is now, though he knows he's no longer living. He sees the world in a kaleidoscope of colors, and has to shield his eyes against the brilliant light cast off of every living thing he sees (he has the Lifesense feat, but still has Light Sensitivity from being a kobold). His senses are almost painfully vivid, and though he doesn't know what's doing it, the positive energy cascading through his body floods through his eyes, which glow with wisps of white flame; his blackened, charred skin flares almost painfully hot; and his flesh smells faintly of roasted kobold.

He's exploring the world to find the man who did this to him (http://www.thejoker.btinternet.co.uk/images/emailst.jpg), as well as to gather what information he can to figure out just what the in the Nine Hells he is, exactly. Not to mention his burgeoning magical abilities, which he did not have prior to dying. He also feels an almost overwhelming compulsion to destroy any other undead he comes across, and has been doing his best to help anybody he can that is in need of assistance he can render (he IS Good-aligned, after all).

I'm not sure where the story will go from here, but it's certain to be an interesting ride, regardless.

The Glyphstone
2009-01-21, 01:29 AM
Posting in two threads, including raising one from almost a month's worth of deadness? C'mon....:smallconfused:




Oh, for On-Topicness, I guess I'll mention my beloved Viktor Freakenstane, Fleshwarper extraordinaire and absolute nutcase. Born crippled and deformed, he learned wizardry, and later the art of grafting, in an effort to replace his useless parts. Along the way, he went somewhat mad and decided that he could achieve physical perfection by replacing every part of his body with a graft.

Lycanthromancer
2009-01-21, 01:32 AM
Posting in two threads, including raising one from almost a month's worth of deadness? C'mon....:smallconfused:

Sorry; I had forgotten which thread I was posting in. Decided to post in the 'correct' thread afterwards.

Alleine
2009-01-21, 01:39 AM
I was going to create a heavy metal gnome bard with dragonfire inspiration. He would have wielded an adamatine guitar with the shocking and thundering enchantments on it, and it would double as a weapon. I was hoping to get it ok'd as an axe :smalltongue:
His purpose was to rock out really hard, and use his magic to make everything he did awesome and spectacular while simultaneously making everyone's weapons catch fire(df inspiration) for massive damage. If the campaign hadn't been done in 4ed it would have worked. I can still imagine him standing on the prow of an airship(they were promised to be in the campaign) rocking out with a magically produced rest of the band set up on the deck of the ship, diving it straight into enemy territory and causing massive and (mostly)harmless pyrotechnics to erupt everywhere possible.

newbDM
2009-01-21, 01:45 AM
Twem Sheafsdaughter, a male gnome bard who was angry at EVERYTHING. His motivation was to find his father, Sheaf, and kick him in the 'nads for giving him the 'daughter' name, which was the source of ALL of his anger. And he always rationalized everything so it wasn't his fault. He wasn't mad about being short, he was mad that everyone else was so tall.

Why didn't the gnome bard (or his mother for that matter) change his name?

Lycanthromancer
2009-01-21, 02:27 AM
Why didn't the gnome bard (or his mother for that matter) change his name?

Because it doesn't result in RAAAAAAGE!!!!!

Tusalu
2009-01-21, 02:34 AM
I'm currently playing a game, where we have an awakened ape hulking hurler. He owns a bag of holding full of barrels...

newbDM
2009-01-21, 02:40 AM
I'm currently playing a game, where we have an awakened ape hulking hurler. He owns a bag of holding full of barrels...

This makes me feel so fuzzy and happy inside. :smallbiggrin:

AslanCross
2009-01-21, 07:57 AM
A dour and stolid champion-type warrior who specializes in animating the dead. And it turns out his undead lackeys have more humor than he does.
Karrnathi Bone Knight + Karnnathi zombies (intelligent undead) = Eberron meats Shaun of the Dead?

Darth Stabber
2009-01-21, 10:14 AM
My most amuzing characters

[don't remember], The Unsure
Human CG
Ranger 1, barbarian1, dusk blade1, paladin of freedom 1, soulborn 1, hexblade1, Psychic warrior1, soul knife1, rogue 1, binder 1, swashbuckler 1, Crusader 1, Warblade 1, Fighter 1, Horizon Walker1, Bear warrior 1, warshaper 1, cleric of Kord 1, Dread Commando 1, Incarnum Blade 1.

My char was not sure what he wanted to do with his life, he was skilled with a long sword but never managed to find a fighting style and stick with it. He would throw himself into any new fighting style he could learn, but never mastered any, because he would lose interest in it and move on to something else.

Playing the character was fun on all lvls. I had so much stuff i could choose to do in a turn, None of it very effective. Except Blades of Blood, Favorite spell for a Melee'r EVAR. Kord help my foes if I got into flanking, Then I could do my inneffective crap even harder. Luckily I was the 5th man, and all the other roles were taken. The only thing i was counted on to do was set up flanking with the rogue. Plus I got to say Charge Blades of Blood Smite Sneak attack with my Mind Blade. So stupid so much fun. my stats were like strait 14s when all was said and done. Can't remember the Characters First name.

Dienekes
2009-01-21, 03:56 PM
My friend was a gnome wizard based off the personality of our physics teacher.

It was priceless, but only if you really knew him. Something about making him make words up to describe simple tasks and suddenly stopping mid-sentence in combat or anything to describe the mechanics of what had just occurred.

Dogmantra
2009-01-21, 04:35 PM
Some sort of martial class (I was thinking Barbarian, but practically anything that's not religious [i.e. Monk]) who insists they're a paladin. "Haven't you seen my Holy Symbol of Paladin-ery?" "That's a rock..."

Shalizar
2009-01-21, 05:26 PM
My favorite character was a Squirrel Folk Rogue/barbarian, who had a 25% chance of being scared of anyone medium size or larger. This is fun when i am afraid of most of the party, and one time the person employing me. There was a 10% chance where he wouldnt contribute in battle. Also when ever he was spoken to by someone who he is afraid of, he screams an annoying scream that everyone hated.

I also was thinking about making a Warforge Soulknife/Psychic Warrior. I feel it would surprise people to have a machine suddenly create Psionic Powers. Also he would be a fairly Badass attacker.

Gaire
2009-01-21, 05:32 PM
Because it doesn't result in RAAAAAAGE!!!!!

Exactly. Anyway, his mom died in childbirth, and by the time he was old enough to realize what his name meant, everyone knew him as Sheafsdaughter. So instead of moving and changing his name, he decided to RAGEquest against his dad.

Lycanthromancer
2009-01-21, 05:39 PM
I also was thinking about making a Warforge Soulknife/Psychic Warrior. I feel it would surprise people to have a machine suddenly create Psionic Powers. Also he would be a fairly Badass attacker.

Or just go variant psychic warrior (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/psm/20070214a) (or maybe take the Item Familiar feat, in the SRD). Really, unless you're using a revamped soulknife, and plan to go all the way (or take a soulknife-specific PrC, such as soulbow), don't bother with levels in it. It's substandard. Pure psychic warriors are better all the way.

Gardakan
2009-01-21, 07:51 PM
A monk who love to combat in a little string. He put mimic on his clothes and just travel with vow of poverty...

Shalizar
2009-01-21, 08:58 PM
Or just go variant psychic warrior (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/psm/20070214a) (or maybe take the Item Familiar feat, in the SRD). Really, unless you're using a revamped soulknife, and plan to go all the way (or take a soulknife-specific PrC, such as soulbow), don't bother with levels in it. It's substandard. Pure psychic warriors are better all the way.

Hmmm, those are good ideas, thanks for informing me on that