View Full Version : one of my old players pulled a Monty Python

2009-01-19, 10:15 PM
So, a long time ago my friend and I went around and converted a bunch of Final Fantasy creatures for the heck of it and most of them they never came out to see the light of day again.

Two weeks ago, my friend finally got to use one for his own game. (One that I couldn't participate in, unfortunately)

Here's what happened:

The PCs were hunting for this ruin that has a lot of hidden treasure, they were accompanied by two other NPCs, one who was a guide to the region, and another who was more like a hireling. The guide kept on talking about the guardian of the ruins that was the most vicious thing he's ever met in his life, and that it is not to be trifled with and he strongly URGED the players to turn back. (in fact, the players had to get a couple good diplomacy checks in to get the guide to keep his end of the bargain and take them to the ruins. It also took a good couple sense motive checks from the players to make sure the guide wasn't trying to swindle them either, but more on that later)

they finally got there, and when they managed to awake the guardian of the ruins, this crawled out of the ground.


now, my friend didn't actually just use the picture. He described it as what seems like a cute little lizard wearing a cloak. The little thing couldn't see very well though, so it pulled a small lantern out of the ground. But the lantern got stuck in the ground! so to help get it out, the little lizard use a small knife it carried on him to help dig it out. It then slowly waddled it's way towards the players, making the cutest little noises ever.

Now, most of the players at his table don't play final fantasy enough to know the reference. Add on top of that, they were already skeptical of the guide's trustworthiness due to prior events. So when the guide disappeared by that point along with a small number of their gold coins, they didn't think twice about his warning and assumed that wasn't the guardian.

One player, however, soon realized what that was, but was a big enough **** to sit back and let the rest of the party walk right into this. He just kept snickering to himself. The party leader said to everyone "let's just ignore this and move on".

It was then though, that things took a turn for the worse. Suddenly, the little cute creature set into a vicious attack (incidentally, it was a level 13 warblade) that completely and utterly eviscerated the hireling in a fountain of blood, dealing enough damage to set the hireling into -20 hit points in one blow. The players realized that this was the guardian and tried their hardest to kill it. Note: my friend took some artistic liberties here and changed up some of the specifics of the reference.

two more party deaths later, they finally managed to kill it. My friend came *THIS* close to having the guide show up somewhere and go "I told he was dangerous!" just to taunt them.

2009-01-19, 10:40 PM
What is it? I don't play FF and want to look up what it's supposed to be.

2009-01-19, 10:44 PM
It's sometimes called a Poe. Otherwise it's a Tonberry. Either way, it starts battle slowly waddling towards your party (which is weird for a Final Fantasy game) and takes an incredible amount of punishment to put down. If it gets too close, it stabs a party member for lots of damage.

2009-01-19, 10:45 PM
Dammit, ninja'd! See also Tonberry King, which is the bigger and oh-my-god-it-just-stabbed-out-my-spleenier version.

2009-01-19, 10:46 PM
sorry about that. Here's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonberry#Tonberry) the wiki on it.

Darklord Bright
2009-01-19, 10:46 PM
What is it? I don't play FF and want to look up what it's supposed to be.

Not entirely sure on the spelling, but I believe it's a Tonberry.

2009-01-19, 10:47 PM
It's called a Tonberry.

If I remember correctly, they were first introduced in Final Fantasy 6, where they were called Pugs. They start a decent distance away from your party and slowly approach on their turn, and when they get to you, they have an attack called "Chef's Knife" that is almost always a one-hit-kill.

In some cases, they also have the ability "Karma," "Everyone's Grudge," or "Step Mine," which deal damage based on the number of enemies the target has killed for the first two or the number of steps your party has taken since the beginning of the game for the last. These abilities are typically used as a counterattack; you hit them, they use them. And the number of enemies you've killed or steps you've taken by that point is almost always enough that that ability is a one-hit-kill, as well.

Combined with the fact that they're usually abnormally durable, and the fact that their Chef's Knife ability consistently makes an adorable "Doink!" sound (oftentimes with an associated visual, like how the old Batman shows used to have "Pow!" over the screen when someone got punched), they are some of the most deceptively threatening creatures in the games.

Saint Nil
2009-01-19, 10:48 PM
9999 damage. This monsters can be the scarest thing, because they take so long, but you know it's coming.

2009-01-20, 03:16 AM
9999 damage. This monsters can be the scarest thing, because they take so long, but you know it's coming.I think they're cute...

But yeah, something like that is almost bound to result in a Killer Rabbit scenario for players who don't recognize it, and aren't wearing their "genre standby recognition" glasses, in this case, the "harmless-looking fluffy thing that will tear out your throat" genre standby.