I Found an Island for Our Playground Kingdom

[Jimorian]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clipperton

Sure it's a bit of a fixer upper, but it hasn't been used for years, and with a bit of landscaping, some nice thatch huts, and a fiber optic cable strung from the mainland for some interweb action, we're set. :smallcool:

[dish]

Hmm, well, the climate should be reasonable, but unless we could persuade them to sell it to us, we'd all have to speak French.

[Silence]

Unfortunately, I'm not quite legal yet, so it might not be the best idea to completely leave the country for another life.

[Felixaar]

Shotgun Emperor.

[Canadian]

I call minister of coconuts. If Gilligan's Island is any indication all goods on the island including cars will be made of coconuts!

To the coconut Thunderdome!

Two men enter. Both leave satisfied by the cook refreshing taste of fresh coconut!

[banjo1985]

Sounds good to me. Though we may want to build up the centre of the island so that we don't get wiped out when it gets stormy. :smalleek:

[someonenonotyou]

I call Captian of the navy
also i say we change the name of the island

[UncleWolf]

Hmm, tempting.
I'm a survival expert so you guys would definitely need me in on this.
I can see it already.

Okay, go get the two pieces of flint that are over there.
*person comes back with coconuts*
:smallsigh:



After the initial set-up, we'd need to introduce some fish into the lagoon. That way we have a steady supply of food other than coconuts.

[banjo1985]

Is coconut milk a good enough supplier of protein & calcium for us to live off at all? I fear we may have to go rafting for fish in the sea early on, before we all get rickets. :smalleek:

As you can see, on this imagined trip I will be playing the role of uneccessary worrier. :smalltongue:

[UncleWolf]

Is coconut milk a good enough supplier of protein for us to live off at all? I fear we may have to go rafting for fish in the sea early on, before we all get rickets. :smalleek:

As you can see, on this imagined trip I will be playing the role of uneccessary worrier. :smalltongue:

The biggest problem will be getting enough Vitamin C.
Otherwise, we'll all get scurvy.

[banjo1985]

*holds up bonsai fruit tree from Futurama*

If we're pixie's then there's enough for all of us. :smallbiggrin:

[Solaris]

The biggest problem will be getting enough Vitamin C.
Otherwise, we'll all get scurvy.
Yargh, scurvy be a problem.

I'd say screw the lagoon, fixing it'd be more work than it's worth. Acid water? Pass.
Re-introduce pigs. They'll solve the problem of crabs eeting all the land plants, which'd help us out tremendously.

Dibs on General of the Army. All I need is cardboard tanks and we'll solve the problem of having to learn to speak French. It's high time the Colonies return the favor, eh?
I'm more concerned about these guys (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominion_of_Melchizedek). We'll have to... negotiate with them.

[UncleWolf]

Dibs on General of the Army. All I need is cardboard tanks and we'll solve the problem of having to learn to speak French. It's high time the Colonies return the favor, eh?

Besides being survival instructor for the island, I call dibs on building the fortifications.
I am extremely good at military strategy.

[Solaris]

Besides being survival instructor for the island, I call dibs on building the fortifications.
I am extremely good at military strategy.

I've always been leery of those who claim skill at military strategy, Minister of Defense Wolfbane. How do you propose we render our sacred homeland immune to foreign aggression?

[UncleWolf]

I've always been leery of those who claim skill at military strategy, Minister of Defense Wolfbane. How do you propose we render our sacred homeland immune to foreign aggression?

Depends on who we are against. If it is the French, all we have to do is show that we have a watergun and they'll surrender.:smallamused:
Also depends on my resources, what all will I have?

As to my qualifications, I've been raised in a military family. I've been brought up to be able to formulate a strategy and counter strategy off the top of my head.

[Oregano]

I want to be a Spy for our noble land, as I bet many others will, but of course we need plenty of people to buld our spy network.

[Solaris]

Depends on who we are against. If it is the French, all we have to do is show that we have a watergun and they'll surrender.:smallamused:
Also depends on my resources, what all will I have?

As to my qualifications, I've been raised in a military family. I've been brought up to be able to formulate a strategy and counter strategy off the top of my head.
Well, shortly after we issue out the waterguns and inner tubes, all the resources of France that the Grand Army of the Playground doesn't 'accidentally' destroy.

Yeah, but I'm in the military. That does not impress me - I'm not saying you can't or you aren't good at the job, I'm just saying there are a lot of incompetent people in uniform.
After all, the Playground Kingdom needs the best for our Ministry of Defense. I intend to make a lot of nearby nations very angry by expanding our territories.

[TheBST]

Dibs on the Secret Police.

We'll make money with a complete disregard for international copyright rules, with a vast network of entertainment piracy. Yaarrr.

[Mordokai]

I'll be the town drunk, thank you very much. I do not take well to responsibility, so no big titles for me.

Just throw a dime in my hat if you see me begging at the corner. I'd throw you one.

[unstattedCommoner]

I'll take Lord Chief Justice.

Civil cases shall be resolved by the following procedure:

On the basis of the parties' pleadings, there will be a discussion between parties' respective counsel and the judge aimed at producing a series of questions of fact capable of a yes/no answer. Two independent and impartial citizens shall then decide these questions by playing a single round of rock-paper-scissors in open court. In the event of a tie, up to 19 further rounds may be played until a winner is determined, failing which a mistrial will be declared. Remedies (including damages and all forms of equitable relief) and costs will then be determined by the judge.


Is coconut milk a good enough supplier of protein & calcium for us to live off at all? I fear we may have to go rafting for fish in the sea early on, before we all get rickets. :smalleek:

As you can see, on this imagined trip I will be playing the role Secretary of State for Agriculture, Fisheries and Food. :smalltongue:

Fixed. :smalltongue:

[Haruki-kun]

YUS! It's very close! I just need to take like one plane and one boat and I'm there. :smallbiggrin:

[TheMessage]

I'm in.

Also, I call Director of the Official Clipperton-Playground Orchestra (Which will consist of three banjo-ists and as many bagpipes as we can cram on the atoll.

[Dirk Kris]

I'm officially naming myself King Dirk, ruler of Playground Isle!
Now, subjects, grovel at my feet and beg for mercy...
...and special treats to those I deem...worthy. :smallamused:

[Mordokai]

*puts a hat under Dirk's nose*

Alms! Alms for the poor, good sire!

[Fredthefighter]

I'm officially naming myself King Dirk, ruler of Playground Isle!
Now, subjects, grovel at my feet and beg for mercy...
...and special treats to those I deem...worthy. :smallamused:

What do you mean by worthy?
And I grovel for no man! (I might grovel for a woman but not a man)

[TheBST]

I'm officially naming myself King Dirk, ruler of Playground Isle!
Now, subjects, grovel at my feet and beg for mercy...
...and special treats to those I deem...worthy. :smallamused:

But I control the Secret Police. We've already killed you and replaced you with an animatronic double. We've also made it illegal to whistle in public or own any dogs smaller than two foot in height.

[Cobra_Ikari]

I'm officially naming myself King Dirk, ruler of Playground Isle!
Now, subjects, grovel at my feet and beg for mercy...
...and special treats to those I deem...worthy. :smallamused:

*grovels, kisses feet*

...can we make a secret underwater base in the lagoon? Though, then we'd have to worry about accidentally attracting suave British spies...

[Mordokai]

What do you mean by worthy?
And I grovel for no man! (I might grovel for a woman but not a man)

Speak for yourself. I'll kiss his boots if it gets me a free sandwich and a booze.

[unstattedCommoner]

Shotgun Emperor.


I'm officially naming myself King Dirk, ruler of Playground Isle!
Now, subjects, grovel at my feet and beg for mercy...
...and special treats to those I deem...worthy. :smallamused:

Emperor outranks King.

[KnightDisciple]

I appoint myself local vigilante. Criminals, that cowardly and superstitious lot, shall fear me. For I am the Night. I am Vengeance. I. Am. BATMAN.

And my lair will kind of underground, kind of underwater, cobra. Though if you want your own space, you'll need to build on the side or whatnot. My crimefighting gear's gonna take up some space.

Also, I propose that we make most of the city underground/water! Topside shall be merely the tip of the iceberg of our great nation!

[Fredthefighter]

If he's batman then I'm The Flash, using my speed I shall fight crime aided by Kid Flash!

[Inhuman Bot]

Do any of you know who started the GITP kingdom idea?
If we're calling dibs, I want to be the evil overlord!
I've heard it mentioned alot, but not of who started it.

[Jimorian]

Well, since nobody has snabbed this position yet, I hereby declare myself to be... <duh duh DUHHH> ... The Librarian. Late fee is 2 coconuts or 4 crabs.

As for those other claimants to our island, a challenge match of Twister should send them packing.

[Dirk Kris]

Emperor outranks King.
Pffft, emperorism is SOOOO last century. I wanna be KING!

Speak for yourself. I'll kiss his boots if it gets me a free sandwich and a booze.
Very well, you get to be the official taste/poison tester.

What do you mean by worthy?
And I grovel for no man!
Official party-pooper. Good going, thigh-high.

But I control the Secret Police. We've already killed you and replaced you with an animatronic double. We've also made it illegal to whistle in public or own any dogs smaller than two foot in height.
But I had already replaced myself with an animatronic double. So you killed a robot. And I deem your laws acceptable - so it shall be.

*grovels, kisses feet*

...can we make a secret underwater base in the lagoon? Though, then we'd have to worry about accidentally attracting suave British spies...
...that would be...AWESOME! Maybe it'll be Banjo...hmmmmm.
And Cobra, you are named official bed-warmer/snuggler.

[Zeful]

Do any of you know who started the GITP kingdom idea?
If we're calling dibs, I want to be the evil overlord!
I've heard it mentioned alot, but not of who started it.

I think it was me... There was a military base in Montana(?) up for sale for a 10million dollar down payment about 6 months or so after I joined. I'm pretty sure I made reference...

No, no it was Tippy (I think), though I'm not sure when that was, but he pointed out that it would be like $200 to get yourself legally declared your own country or something. I'd have to spend hours digging through the archives to find it though.

[wadledo]

I call Minister of Education.
My first act of business is to make the graduation age 39.
My second act of business is to make uniforms mandatory for women in the school system.

Should be go with Sailor uniforms or Catholic schoolgirl outfits?:smallamused:

[Vuzzmop]

I call position of Don for the local, er...ummm... legitimate businessman's social club.

Edit: I vote catholic schoolgirl.

[TwoBitWriter]

Ooh! King Dirk! Can I be your Minister of Propaganda!

I have always wanted such a title! I would make the people love you and be willing to die for you, with no room for doubt and uncertainty!

[Dirk Kris]

Ooh! King Dirk! Can I be your Minister of Propaganda!

I have always wanted such a title! I would make the people love you and be willing to die for you, with no room for doubt and uncertainty!
The job's yours.

[TwoBitWriter]

*cackles maniacally, begins writing his first news-cast*

"Today our glorious leader smexed fifteen supermodels, and fought three bears with his bare hands..."

[Boo]

I suppose we'll need a Director of Human Resources. That'll be me.

Aside from silly titles, I say we inhabit the island with Bears. Let me emphasize the B in that it's capitalized, and that means that these creatures cannot be killed by lowly humans. No, they'll need to be hurt more than Edward Teach, and then beheaded while still alive. If not, then they'll regenerate, and you'll all die.

You may think 'Oh, but I'm super awesome', well... awesome people can't kill Bears, but Bears can kill awesome people.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Well, since nobody has snabbed this position yet, I hereby declare myself to be... <duh duh DUHHH> ... The Librarian. Late fee is 2 coconuts or 4 crabs.

As for those other claimants to our island, a challenge match of Twister should send them packing.
Sowwy, that position is already taken by The Librarian(the actual forum member)

[Eldan]

We can throw people into a bottomless hole full of acid.

Also, I'm the Minister of Lazyness. That's a thing I'm good at.

[Jimorian]

Sowwy, that position is already taken by The Librarian(the actual forum member)

Well FOO. I guess I'll just be Minister of Culture then. I'll be in charge of kidnappinginviting any bands people want to see.

[Illiterate Scribe]

Gentlemen.

There is an armed tactical nuclear weapon (http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/systems/w54.htm) in the town square that you've set up on Clipperton. It is tamper-proofed.

I thought you'd want to know.

[Elm11]

God, i can't believe that on a forum like this, noone has been appointed this yet.

I hearbye nominate myself for minister of funny walks.

Monty python references ftw! :smallbiggrin:

[Uncle Festy]

In that case, I'll take head of the Spanish Inquisition. :smallbiggrin:


But I control the Secret Police. We've already killed you and replaced you with an animatronic double. We've also made it illegal to whistle in public or own any dogs smaller than two foot in height.

Can I quote of the week that?

[TheBST]

Can I quote of the week that?

Sure. Appreciation is always appreciated. (Cash more so, but you have to be realistic.)

EDIT: Anyone else notice how quickly this Island sanctuary became a facist monarchy? Food for thought.

[Moff Chumley]

1) Dibs on Secretary of the Internet.
2) Dibs on Chairman of the Department of Redundancy Department.
3) Dibs on President of Ego Regulations.
4) Dibs on Minister of Sarcasm.
5) Dibs on Chairman of the Department of Redundancy Department.
6) Dibs on the Head of the Council of Having to Many Roles.

[LordZarth]

Well, considering it's the GitP Kingdom, I have the perfect idea to gain control over the entire island.

I'll maintain the internet connection.

[Moff Chumley]

Hey hey hey! I'M the secretary of the internet here! :smallannoyed:

[Zeb The Troll]

Hmmm. We're going to need a bridge for me to live under.

And obviously my position in The Kingdom will be that of Elder. :smallcool:

[Ascension]

The question is, how many people would be able to live on the island with the wealthy elite and how many people would be consigned to the floating city of houseboats which would soon grow around the tiny thing?

Speaking of which, I call Real Estate Agent!

[reorith]

i call director of the bureau of paranormal stuff.

[Vuzzmop]

so, nobody wants to join my island illuminati? I'll let you make Godfather references. Its an offer you cannot refuse!
.
.
.
sorry, I just had to.

[Leper Master]

hey, I have a better Idea!!
Why don't we just put everybody else here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia) and have the world to ourselves!! >:3

sorry just a poke at aussies

[Ganurath]

I'd like a secondary position on the defense ministry. My qualifications include being well verse in the works of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Parson Gotti, TVTropes, and the Evil Overlord List.

[banjo1985]

Sorry, but in my newly appointed role of Secretary of State for Agriculture, Fisheries and Food, I must hereby ban the trading of coconuts. They will from now on be used for an oversized version of 'Conkers' and nothing more.

[KnightDisciple]

The question is, how many people would be able to live on the island with the wealthy elite and how many people would be consigned to the floating city of houseboats which would soon grow around the tiny thing?

Speaking of which, I call Real Estate Agent!

The "real estate issue" is why I suggested underwater/underground habitats. :smallwink:

[Canadian]

In addition to my position as minister of coconuts I also call minister of tropical fruits and vegetables. This includes sugar cane and bananas son!

[TwoBitWriter]

*News Flash*

Today, Glorious Leader defeated five more bears in single-handed combat. He was reported as saying he greatly enjoyed his morning warm-ups.

In weather, Glorious Leader has allowed rainfall to continue for another day to increase production of our nation's crops. All praise to Glorious Leader for permission to farm his land for our glorious nation!

In Foreign Affairs, Glorious Leader crushed opposition at diplomat's table by annexing other smaller islands nearby who waged allied war on our Glorious Nation.

That ends this evening's broadcast, all praise Glorious Leader and the wealth and abundance he provides us, good night!

[KilltheToy]

Gentlemen.

There is an armed tactical nuclear weapon (http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/systems/w54.htm) in the town square that you've set up on Clipperton. It is tamper-proofed.

I thought you'd want to know.


Wait, really? That could make things intresting.


Depends on who we are against. If it is the French, all we have to do is show that we have a watergun and they'll surrender.:smallamused:

Do not underestimate the French. They've got 300 or so nukes and 134,000 troops. They're secret badasses, just like the Canadians. :smallsmile:


Also, I call Minister of Something. I can supply geographic knowlage, strong wiki-fu, and an extra dose of my special brand of weird.

EDIT: Are we really sure we want this place to serve as our Playground Kingdom? I've done some research and uncovered a few flaws here.
First of all, the place is practically a desert. There's scrub and a few groves of palm trees. The fauna here are multiple species of birds, rats, and millions of Gecarcinus planatus, aka the Socorro Island Red Land Crab (http://www.animalpicturesarchive.com/view.php?tid=3&did=21148). The crabs are toxic, so we'll have to bring our own food or settle for a diet of fish and the occasional coconut.
The water from the lagoon contains sulphuric acid, and is undrinkable.

Second: TROPICAL STORMS. If you live in an area prone to tropical storms and hurricanes like I do, you know how much "fun" these can be :smalltongue:. Need I remind the Houstonians in the Playground what Allison was like?

All I'm saying here is we could do better. I nominate Île Saint-Paul (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%8Ele_Saint-Paul).

[Solaris]

Do not underestimate the French. They've got 300 or so nukes and 134,000 troops. They're secret badasses, just like the Canadians. :smallsmile:
And how many of those have actually seen real combat, exactly?
Oh. Right. Three. The General of the Army is not amused at the 134,000 ablative meat-shields surrounding the Playground Kingdom's newest colony.
As for the nukes... pfft. C'mon, I could go to Russia with a couple of my buddies* and steal some nukes. Y'think it's hard?
*These are the sorts of things that keep certain people up at night.

[Felixaar]

Otherwise, we'll all get scurvy.

Ha Harr! Avast!

...oh, not like that, eh?

[KilltheToy]

And how many of those have actually seen real combat, exactly?
Oh. Right. Three. The General of the Army is not amused at the 134,000 ablative meat-shields surrounding the Playground Kingdom's newest colony.
As for the nukes... pfft. C'mon, I could go to Russia with a couple of my buddies* and steal some nukes. Y'think it's hard?
*These are the sorts of things that keep certain people up at night.

You underestimate the French. I'm sure they've learned how to fight since the Battle of France. It's the Swiss Army you should be making fun of.

Also, since it's teh Battle of France that usually makes people see the French as ready to surrender at the drop of a hat, consider this:

2,862,000 Frenchmen vs. 3,350,000 Germans and 700,00 Italians. By the end of the battle, the French had killed 27,074 Germans and 1,247 Italians and wounded another 110,034 Germans and 2,631 Italians. Meanwhile, the Germans & Italians had killed 360,000 Frenchmen.

[Rockphed]

First of all, the place is practically a desert. There's scrub and a few groves of palm trees. The fauna here are multiple species of birds, rats, and millions of Gecarcinus planatus, aka the Socorro Island Red Land Crab (http://www.animalpicturesarchive.com/view.php?tid=3&did=21148). The crabs are toxic, so we'll have to bring our own food or settle for a diet of fish and the occasional coconut.
So we need to bring some pigs to eat the crabs. I don't know if the pigs will then be edible, but I suspect they will be. As such, we can eat sausage and bacon.

Furthermore, with a lower crab population, we will be able to grow food without them getting at it.


Second: TROPICAL STORMS. If you live in an area prone to tropical storms and hurricanes like I do, you know how much "fun" these can be :smalltongue:. Need I remind the Houstonians in the Playground what Allison was like?

Is it even in the right part of the world for Tropical Storms? I know it is out in an ocean, but I thought hurricanes and such didn't actually form for another couple hundred miles off the coast of Mexico.


All I'm saying here is we could do better. I nominate Île Saint-Paul (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%8Ele_Saint-Paul).

We are going to end up tangling with the french either way. I say we get that out of the way, conduct surveys of all uninhabited islands, and pick the best one after that.

[Solaris]

You underestimate the French. I'm sure they've learned how to fight since the Battle of France. It's the Swiss Army you should be making fun of.

Also, since it's teh Battle of France that usually makes people see the French as ready to surrender at the drop of a hat, consider this:

2,862,000 Frenchmen vs. 3,350,000 Germans and 700,00 Italians. By the end of the battle, the French had killed 27,074 Germans and 1,247 Italians and wounded another 110,034 Germans and 2,631 Italians. Meanwhile, the Germans & Italians had killed 360,000 Frenchmen.

In defense? As a rule of thumb, you need three times as many people as the defenders to beat them. The French put up an apalling showing in that battle.

Seriousness aside, I hope you didn't think I was serious about trying to take over France with waterguns. We'd need paintball guns, at the very least.

[KnightDisciple]

I'm liking Île Saint-Paul. Though maybe we should look at an archipeligo? Maybe something we could artificially join together as a single land mass?

And I'd be much less willing to fight the Swiss than the French. And forget trying to invade Switzerland. :smallsmile::smallwink:

[Solaris]

I'm liking Île Saint-Paul. Though maybe we should look at an archipeligo? Maybe something we could artificially join together as a single land mass?
Or set up as the world's biggest island-hopping LARP campaign?
To become the new Vikings, raiding coastal cities for loot and booty?
If so, I gotta remember: Pillage, then burn. Pillage, then burn.


And I'd be much less willing to fight the Swiss than the French. And forget trying to invade Switzerland. :smallsmile::smallwink:
... Yeah, mountains make for bad juju. They might be artillery's forte, but even I don't like 'em. Let's stick with countries we know go down easily.

[Ganurath]

In defense? As a rule of thumb, you need three times as many people as the defenders to beat them. The French put up an apalling showing in that battle.

Seriousness aside, I hope you didn't think I was serious about trying to take over France with waterguns. We'd need paintball guns, at the very least.Fill the water guns with some form of flammable liquid and strap lighters to the end of the barrel. Like many problems a government must inevitably face, the French military tends to be combustible, especially when scrutinized with focus testing.

Of course, if you're really gearing against the French, buy some longbows from Britain.

[Fredthefighter]

I wonder whether I should use the original Flash costume or to change it up a bit.
I might just change the name to "Dark Aeon" or "Lightspeed", maybe add in gauntlets that would give me Super-Strength and the power to shoot energy beams from my hands.
Or I could just be a normal citizen, descisions descisions.

[_Zoot_]

I will command our Glorious Leader's personal body guard, because someone as glorious as he needs to be kept safe from the rest of the non-glorious people that will get jealous. Also because it makes me his right hand man (second in command) and that makes me the second most glorious person in our new empire (or what ever it is).

Our Glorious Leader's body Guard will be made up of the best troops that our armed forces (plus the Secret Police and all the rest) can provide! Only with there combined 1337-ness will our Glorious Leader be kept safe!

All hail our Glorious Leader!

[Elm11]

As a competant bodyguard, i trust you have then trained all members of our glorius leaders defence in the upside-down-octagonal-flamingo-step, as is mandatory for such a position.

I also hearbye declare that anyone caught on our island using an even vaguely normal walk will be forced to report directly to master theBST of our *descret protection agency* for *reconditioning* :smallamused:.

[Fredthefighter]

As a competant bodyguard, i trust you have then trained all members of our glorius leaders defence in the upside-down-octagonal-flamingo-step, as is mandatory for such a position.

I also hearbye declare that anyone caught on our island using an even vaguely normal walk will be forced to report directly to master theBST of our *descret protection agency* for *reconditioning* :smallamused:.

Dark Aeon does not walk! He runs at a speed that rivals light itself.
Anyway, is there a position as resident superhero?

[Elm11]

Dark Aeon does not walk! He runs at a speed that rivals light itself.


Very well. Your minister will permit this, as long as it coincides with standard hi-jump-kicking-octapus running protocals.

[Fredthefighter]

Very well. Your minister will permit this, as long as it coincides with standard hi-jump-kicking-octapus running protocals.

Ok, I'll make sure I run fast enough so you can't see me.
Super speed= Invisibility.
Anyway, is there a resident superhero position on the island perchance?

[_Zoot_]

Anyway, is there a resident superhero position on the island perchance?

Of course there is, what island would be complete with out one?:smalltongue:

But make sure that you are ready to answer the call should our Glorious Leader want some one with superpowers.

[Fredthefighter]

Of course there is, what island would be complete with out one?:smalltongue:

But make sure that you are ready to answer the call should our Glorious Leader want some one with superpowers.

I Dark Aeon, shall use my superpowers (Speed, Strength, Flight, Laser blasts, Psychic Powers, Weather Control, Lightning bolts, Fireballs, virtually invulnerable and X-ray vision)
I vow to forever protect the innocent, to fight evil even as I draw my last breath.
Dark Aeon, Away!
*Flies into the sky*

[The Demented One]

So what do we do when the polar bears and epileptic trees show up?

[Fredthefighter]

So what do we do when the polar bears and epileptic trees show up?

Dark Aeon will kick their asses.
(If you ask him nicely of course)

[KnightDisciple]

So what do we do when the polar bears and epileptic trees show up?

*Suddenly appears from the shadows*
*Hands The Demented One a folder*
Contained within are plans for defense against polar bears, epileptic trees, and the two working together.
*Disappears back into the shadows*

....What, I'm crazy prepared. :smallbiggrin:

[Fredthefighter]

*Suddenly appears from the shadows*
*Hands The Demented One a folder*
Contained within are plans for defense against polar bears, epileptic trees, and the two working together.
*Disappears back into the shadows*

....What, I'm crazy prepared. :smallbiggrin:

Hello, you do have a genuine superhero for crying out loud.
I think someone with more power than Green Lantern and Superman put together wouldn't have any trouble taking on bears and trees.
Dark Aeon to the rescue!
*Zaps the bears and burns the trees*
Problem solved.

[Moff Chumley]

I'm afraid some of your superpowers are redundant, sir, and in addition, you have redundant superpowers. Do you have a redundancy permit? Also, I'd like to see your redundancy permit.

[Fredthefighter]

I'm afraid some of your superpowers are redundant, sir, and in addition, you have redundant superpowers. Do you have a redundancy permit? Also, I'd like to see your redundancy permit.

How are any of my powers redundant?
I can demolish buildings with my super strength.
My speed allows me to be in multiple places at once.
My flight allows me to see the entire Island.
My laser blasts can be used as powerful welding tools.
My psychic powers allow me to know when people are lying and it allows me to levitate objects, this would help with building houses and saving people from falling objects.
My Invulnerability means you have a superpowered protector of all that is good and pure for the rest of your natural born life.
Explain how any of that is redundant, I could use my powers to take over the island for crying out loud, yet I use them to help you all.

[Moff Chumley]

Our sources have informed us that 'phsycicness' can be used to accomplish most of the above effects.

[Fredthefighter]

Our sources have informed us that 'phsycicness' can be used to accomplish most of the above effects.

Super strength is also for punching people who begin to annoy me.

[Uncle Festy]

Depends on who we are against. If it is the French, all we have to do is show that we have a watergun and they'll surrender.:smallamused:
Yeah, as long as they don't pull out Zombie Napoleon.
I mean, damn, that guy is unbeatable.
*shivers*


Like many problems a government must inevitably face, the French military tends to be combustible, especially when scrutinized with focus testing.
=D
Can I QotW that?

[Innis Cabal]

Yeah, as long as they don't pull out Zombie Napoleon.
I mean, damn, that guy is unbeatable.
*shivers*

He wasn't even french. And the Battle of Waterloo would disagree with you.

[Jayngfet]

I call head of biology, I shall have my god defying creatures up by 2015.

[TheBST]

Explain how any of that is redundant, I could use my powers to take over the island for crying out loud, yet I use them to help you all.

We at The Secret Police kidnapped your paramour and...'relocated her'*. Also the public hates you because we've spread rumours about that thing you did, everybody knows you did it and how could you? As such, you're now in the middle of a big angsty tearfest. Self-doubt and mourning has made your heroic spirit sit in the corner and pipe down. Then we contacted your writer and he's killing you off for a bump in sales. Oh sure you'll be back because of cloning or alternate dimensions or some gubbins, but round 1 to us.

Also you haven't paid taxes.

*(To the Afterlife)

Yeah, it's pretty much on now.

[Lord Mancow]

Minister for Improvement of International POWER (overt)

This movement shall commence with the conversion of high ranking military instructors to give us a small but deadly force as well as the commencement of banking for other countries in the region as well as the acquirement of space in the region as well as the south pacific. (Shall also gain the friendship of the Canadians and Australians)

THIS IS THE PLAYDOM!

[SoD]

Hmm, well, the climate should be reasonable, but unless we could persuade them to sell it to us, we'd all have to speak French.

Well, if it helps, I've been dreaming in a French accent for the past few months...

[Fredthefighter]

We at The Secret Police kidnapped your paramour and...'relocated her'*. Also the public hates you because we've spread rumours about that thing you did, everybody knows you did it and how could you? As such, you're now in the middle of a big angsty tearfest. Self-doubt and mourning has made your heroic spirit sit in the corner and pipe down. Then we contacted your writer and he's killing you off for a bump in sales. Oh sure you'll be back because of cloning or alternate dimensions or some gubbins, but round 1 to us.

Also you haven't paid taxes.

*(To the Afterlife)

Yeah, it's pretty much on now.

1) I'm completely alone in the world, I have no paramour.
2) I'm like Batman, I don't care if people hate me.
3) I have no writer, I'm a real Superpowered being.
4) Why would I pay taxes when I have enough power to destroy the world?
5) I'm not afraid to destroy the world.
6) Dark Aeon hasn't paid taxes, but his mild-mannered alter ego has.

[Dallas-Dakota]

1) I'm completely alone in the world, I have no paramour.
2) I'm like Batman, I don't care if people hate me.
3) I have no writer, I'm a real Superpowered being.
4) Why would I pay taxes when I have enough power to destroy the world?
5) I'm not afraid to destroy the world.
6) Dark Aeon hasn't paid taxes, but his mild-mannered alter ego has.
1) No, or atleast HQ is watching you.
2) Plenty of people, including me have that.
3) Liar, we all have writers. Unless you are your own writer. But then you must follow the codes.
4) Because of code 42C, paragraph 7, line 2.
5) No, Mr. Saturn is not currently accepting incoming people.:smalltongue:
6) You will pay the taxes.

[Fredthefighter]

1) No, or atleast HQ is watching you.
2) Plenty of people, including me have that.
3) Liar, we all have writers. Unless you are your own writer. But then you must follow the codes.
4) Because of code 42C, paragraph 7, line 2.
5) No, Mr. Saturn is not currently accepting incoming people.:smalltongue:
6) You will pay the taxes.

In response to number 1: My superspeed allows me to effectively turn invisible.
In response to number 2: Woopdifreakindoo.
In response to number 3: I'm an exception to the rule.
In response to number 4: Bah, the law has no power over someone who can unleash lightning from his backside.
In response to number 5: Who the hell is Mr.Saturn
In response to number 6: Make me

[Dallas-Dakota]

In response to number 1: My superspeed allows me to effectively turn invisible.
In response to number 2: Woopdifreakindoo.
In response to number 3: I'm an exception to the rule.
In response to number 4: Bah, the law has no power over someone who can unleash lightning from his backside.
In response to number 5: Who the hell is Mr.Saturn
In response to number 6: Make me
1) We are watching everything. We are the playground. We are everywhere.
2) Indeed.
3) Code 57D, paragraph 3, line 2. ''There shal be no exceptions to the codes. Not even the exceptions that confirm the codes. See Code 12D, paragraph 1, line 1. Code 12D, Paragraph 1, line 1.''''These are no rules, these are codes, thou shal abide the codes. But they aren't, and shan't be rules, and the rules that apply to the rules thus don't apply to the codes.''
4 No law, codes.
5 Ah, yes. He's from before your time. He was a awesome artist, but he isn´t around anymore. He was one of the best artists around, he and Vespe made Ring V(a webcomic). And he drew the classic and christmas cookiemonster.
6) We will.

[KnightDisciple]

First, you need to stop sometime to eat/rest/recharge.
Second, I just happen to have several independent pieces of the one substance that radiates energy on a specific frequency to be harmful to you. I've given some samples to the appropriate government individuals.
Please therefore be cautious how you step.
Also, since I'm Batman, I can breathe in space.

[Fredthefighter]

Ok, but what is to stop me from turning you all to ash before you can even blink. If this is the world then let it burn.
Ashes to Ashes,
Dust to Dust,
Life to Unlife.

[king.com]

I call construction officer...

Awesomefort here i come...

[Moff Chumley]

Well, gentlemen, you know what this means. *Points at Fred*
MAAAAARY SOOOOUU!

*hauls of the TVTropes Hell*

[Fredthefighter]

Keep on rollin rollin rollin.
*Backflips and changes into the Dark Aeon costume*
I feel neither fear nor remorse.
*Disappears into the night*