Deth Muncher
2009-01-25, 06:28 PM
So, I've just started in a campaign with a few friends, and I've decided it might be funny for you guys to hear. Especially because of the retardedness that happens therein.
Campaign Teaser:
You and your friends (rest of current party) have been living in the town of Shropshire (town of 600, fortifications are a fairly strong perimeter made of petrified wood, the gates are leather with bone framework.) for several years. You have all been granted room and board (in Sand Dollar, tavern) in exchange for defending the town from ongoing Blood Moon goblins. The job hasn’t been hard since the goblins are very cowardly. However a new shaman has appeared in recent raids, bolstering the goblins courage and ferocity. Thirty of the villagers have fallen in combat, and 13 have gone missing. Charles (president) has informed you that he has recently hired the services of the Talon Company, the best mercenaries in the wastes, in hopes of better protecting his people. When the Company arrives you are given a room in Charles home while the Company (200 men) takes up the tavern and makes shacks around the gates. You have been asked to attend the meeting between Charles and the Company leader.
In Charles’ office you are offered a seat while you wait for the mercenary leader. After a short while four men are welcomed in by Charles. The tallest (6ft) introduces himself as the Head of the Shadowsand regiment, Wilkes. Wilkes introduces a man wearing the “in-style” combination of bowler cap and vertically striped suit, with awkward enhancements to make into some sort of “suit-armor”, as Flak, Shadowsand regiment historian. Wilkes then introduces a short ebony skinned man as Sandeyes, who is obviously some sort of magic user (his eyes glow green). Wilkes then introduces a clean cut fellow in a plain suit as Salt, the Shadowsand regiment physician. With the Talon Company Reps introduced it’s your turn to introduce yourself. Afterwards you will discuss how best to deal with the increasingly hostile Blood Moon goblins.
(NOTE: This may seem familiar to you folks, as I was asking for help on making a guy for this campaign)
The current party includes:
Myself, Human Sorceror Lv. 4, Viper Familiar, CN
Human Ranger Lv. 4, Camel AC, CN
Gnome Cleric Lv. 4, NE
Scabland Half Orc Barbarian Lv. 4, TN
Character Quirks of Note:
I (the sorceror) took the flaws Heirloom Item (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Heirloom_%28DnD_Flaw%29) and Concieted (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Conceited_%28DnD_Flaw%29). My heirloom item is my Silk Swath armor, which (via DM ruling), now has no ASF and provides me with the Eschew Materials feat. I also own a Dust Twister, giving me the fastest mount of the party.
The cleric is played by a guy who enjoys cheesing the hell out of things. Thankfully, this was mostly limited by the fact that we're only allowed to use the Core 3 DnD 3.5 books + Sandstorm, but he's still managed to do minor cheese via owning an arbitrarily large number of camels and not feeding them, so as to be able to...I think Death Knell is the spell? Gains extra HP, CL, etc etc. Quite an evil thing to do, and very in character.
The Barbarian is mute. He has a rape signal whistle in case of emergency, and only due to begging the DM has allowed him and I to have Sign Languages on our languages known, so I can at least get what he's trying to say in game. He's basically my muscle.
The ranger has Favored Enemy: Goblinoid, so he's pretty useful in our current situation.
The Layout of the World
The town of Shropshire is located in the desert, about 2-3 hours away from a mountain range. The desert in between isn't anything hazardous, and is fairly safe so far. That's about all we know at this point.
Session 1:
Day 1:
The Talon Company (read first spoilered material above for further explanation) tells the four of us that we need to go and scout out the mountains to the north to find out where the goblin lair is. They presume it's in the mountains because...well, they're goblins. Seems obvious, no? The ranger is given an odd green orb, which we are told is to allow the Talon Co. to observe our movements. This is not only to eliminate any discrepancy in our facts vs. what actually happened (aka they don't trust us yet), as well as allowing the Talon Co. to tell where we are in case of emergency.
We wait until nightfall, then set out into the desert to scout. We don't come across any random encounters on the way. When we get closer to the mountaints, we observe a light over at the Frankenstein place off in the distance, thanks to Ducky the Mute Barbarian's Spyglass. As we get closer, we start bickering about what to do, which draws the attention of two goblin sentries. As they start coming towards us, our ranger gains the title Mr. Boom-Headshot, as he slaughters the first one at range, and the second one point-plank. Our cleric, in a moment of bright-thinking, realizes we should not extinguish this torch they had (which was the light we saw in the distance) because there is another similar light not too far off, which we deduce to be another similar pair of goblin sentries, and the lack of their pal's light might cause them to come attack us. As the party decides we should go slaughter the rest of the goblins, the DM makes us all roll an Int check. I, being the only one who passed, remembers the fact that we're supposed to scout, and engage enemy only if necesary. I eventually convince the party of this, and we split into two groups, each circling around the mountaing to find other entrances (NOTE: It should be noted that the mountains are in what the DM calls "Mountain-Blobs": that is, it's a mountain, then some space, then more mountain, then space, etc etc. Kind of like how the Mines are in WoW, as you'll have a mountain with an entrance, then space, then more mountain, etc etc.) The cleric and his "farm" as we've taken to calling it, go to set up a place to keep the animals while we scout, when the DM says that one of the sickly camels falls over and dies. The cleric says "Eh, I guess I kinda have to feed them..." and asks the DM if they'd eat horse feed (he apparently also bought a war pony). The DM says "Yes. They'll eat anything." Cleric asks "Even the dead camel?" DM sighs, facepalms, and says "Yes, even the dead camel." So we now have a farm of cannibal camels. We scout around and find two more similar entrances. We meet back up, and the party tries to say we should go in and kill the other goblins. I, being the self-proclaimed party leader, tell them no, we should go back to the Talon Co. They eventually relent, and I, being done with them, hop on my Dust Twister and zoom back to town to speak with the Talon Co. The others get back, we all rest, and prepare for Day Two.
Day Two
The Talon Co. wakes us up and tells us that they're going to storm the goblin sronghold today. What will happen is that they're taking 3/4 of the entrances, leaving us to take the other. We agree. We move out, and decide to take the right entrance into the keep. We enter into a very small hallway. As another point of interest, I should point out that I am not playing an optimised character at all, and took the feats Scorpion's Resolve (or whatever the first one in the series is) and Scorpion's Sense. As we're walking, the Cleric casts Detect Magic, and a large source of magic pings on his radar. I ask the DM if my Scorpion Sense picks up anything, and he says yes, lots of things. The cleric and I relay our info to the rest of the party, and the cleric casts Summon Monster to get out a Lemure. The Lemure, now at point, engages a goblin. The Barbarian got hit with a net trap, and had to be cut out of it. Eventually, the entire party gets into the room, which consists of something like 7 goblins. It's a goblin clusterfrak, as there's basically no other room. The barbarian starts killing things, the lemure proceeds to kill even more things, and the ranger has a fantastic critical in which he caves in one goblin's sinuses. All in all, most things that get into combat are killing what they fight. Which leaves me, right? The thing that pinged on the magic-dar turns out to be a goblin with some sort of flying contraption rigged to him, flying around and screeching. It tries to cast Cause Fear on the Barbarian and fails, as the Barb rolled something like a 21 for his Will save. I see this, and decide it's time to break out the big guns: that is, Scorching Ray. I end up only hitting once, and did abysmal damage to it. Next rounds starts, everybody kills more stuff. Then out of nowhere, DM says "roll a Fort save." I fail, and end up taking 4 Dessication damage, 1 Con damage, and become dehydrated. He tells me to make a spellcraft check. I pass it beautifully, and he says that the bat that just bit me and did all of this happens to be a familiar. I get angry. I let loose another Scorching Ray, first targeting the familiar. One shot kill. The other plows into the Goblin Sorceror, and finishes him off too. That round, every goblin dies. I stuff the bat into my Handy Haversack (the DM I could use it as a spell component to boost a spell later on), and loot the Sorceror: Ring of Protection +1 for me, thankyouverymuch.
We decided to end the game there for the day, as all of the previous material happened in one session.
Campaign Teaser:
You and your friends (rest of current party) have been living in the town of Shropshire (town of 600, fortifications are a fairly strong perimeter made of petrified wood, the gates are leather with bone framework.) for several years. You have all been granted room and board (in Sand Dollar, tavern) in exchange for defending the town from ongoing Blood Moon goblins. The job hasn’t been hard since the goblins are very cowardly. However a new shaman has appeared in recent raids, bolstering the goblins courage and ferocity. Thirty of the villagers have fallen in combat, and 13 have gone missing. Charles (president) has informed you that he has recently hired the services of the Talon Company, the best mercenaries in the wastes, in hopes of better protecting his people. When the Company arrives you are given a room in Charles home while the Company (200 men) takes up the tavern and makes shacks around the gates. You have been asked to attend the meeting between Charles and the Company leader.
In Charles’ office you are offered a seat while you wait for the mercenary leader. After a short while four men are welcomed in by Charles. The tallest (6ft) introduces himself as the Head of the Shadowsand regiment, Wilkes. Wilkes introduces a man wearing the “in-style” combination of bowler cap and vertically striped suit, with awkward enhancements to make into some sort of “suit-armor”, as Flak, Shadowsand regiment historian. Wilkes then introduces a short ebony skinned man as Sandeyes, who is obviously some sort of magic user (his eyes glow green). Wilkes then introduces a clean cut fellow in a plain suit as Salt, the Shadowsand regiment physician. With the Talon Company Reps introduced it’s your turn to introduce yourself. Afterwards you will discuss how best to deal with the increasingly hostile Blood Moon goblins.
(NOTE: This may seem familiar to you folks, as I was asking for help on making a guy for this campaign)
The current party includes:
Myself, Human Sorceror Lv. 4, Viper Familiar, CN
Human Ranger Lv. 4, Camel AC, CN
Gnome Cleric Lv. 4, NE
Scabland Half Orc Barbarian Lv. 4, TN
Character Quirks of Note:
I (the sorceror) took the flaws Heirloom Item (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Heirloom_%28DnD_Flaw%29) and Concieted (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Conceited_%28DnD_Flaw%29). My heirloom item is my Silk Swath armor, which (via DM ruling), now has no ASF and provides me with the Eschew Materials feat. I also own a Dust Twister, giving me the fastest mount of the party.
The cleric is played by a guy who enjoys cheesing the hell out of things. Thankfully, this was mostly limited by the fact that we're only allowed to use the Core 3 DnD 3.5 books + Sandstorm, but he's still managed to do minor cheese via owning an arbitrarily large number of camels and not feeding them, so as to be able to...I think Death Knell is the spell? Gains extra HP, CL, etc etc. Quite an evil thing to do, and very in character.
The Barbarian is mute. He has a rape signal whistle in case of emergency, and only due to begging the DM has allowed him and I to have Sign Languages on our languages known, so I can at least get what he's trying to say in game. He's basically my muscle.
The ranger has Favored Enemy: Goblinoid, so he's pretty useful in our current situation.
The Layout of the World
The town of Shropshire is located in the desert, about 2-3 hours away from a mountain range. The desert in between isn't anything hazardous, and is fairly safe so far. That's about all we know at this point.
Session 1:
Day 1:
The Talon Company (read first spoilered material above for further explanation) tells the four of us that we need to go and scout out the mountains to the north to find out where the goblin lair is. They presume it's in the mountains because...well, they're goblins. Seems obvious, no? The ranger is given an odd green orb, which we are told is to allow the Talon Co. to observe our movements. This is not only to eliminate any discrepancy in our facts vs. what actually happened (aka they don't trust us yet), as well as allowing the Talon Co. to tell where we are in case of emergency.
We wait until nightfall, then set out into the desert to scout. We don't come across any random encounters on the way. When we get closer to the mountaints, we observe a light over at the Frankenstein place off in the distance, thanks to Ducky the Mute Barbarian's Spyglass. As we get closer, we start bickering about what to do, which draws the attention of two goblin sentries. As they start coming towards us, our ranger gains the title Mr. Boom-Headshot, as he slaughters the first one at range, and the second one point-plank. Our cleric, in a moment of bright-thinking, realizes we should not extinguish this torch they had (which was the light we saw in the distance) because there is another similar light not too far off, which we deduce to be another similar pair of goblin sentries, and the lack of their pal's light might cause them to come attack us. As the party decides we should go slaughter the rest of the goblins, the DM makes us all roll an Int check. I, being the only one who passed, remembers the fact that we're supposed to scout, and engage enemy only if necesary. I eventually convince the party of this, and we split into two groups, each circling around the mountaing to find other entrances (NOTE: It should be noted that the mountains are in what the DM calls "Mountain-Blobs": that is, it's a mountain, then some space, then more mountain, then space, etc etc. Kind of like how the Mines are in WoW, as you'll have a mountain with an entrance, then space, then more mountain, etc etc.) The cleric and his "farm" as we've taken to calling it, go to set up a place to keep the animals while we scout, when the DM says that one of the sickly camels falls over and dies. The cleric says "Eh, I guess I kinda have to feed them..." and asks the DM if they'd eat horse feed (he apparently also bought a war pony). The DM says "Yes. They'll eat anything." Cleric asks "Even the dead camel?" DM sighs, facepalms, and says "Yes, even the dead camel." So we now have a farm of cannibal camels. We scout around and find two more similar entrances. We meet back up, and the party tries to say we should go in and kill the other goblins. I, being the self-proclaimed party leader, tell them no, we should go back to the Talon Co. They eventually relent, and I, being done with them, hop on my Dust Twister and zoom back to town to speak with the Talon Co. The others get back, we all rest, and prepare for Day Two.
Day Two
The Talon Co. wakes us up and tells us that they're going to storm the goblin sronghold today. What will happen is that they're taking 3/4 of the entrances, leaving us to take the other. We agree. We move out, and decide to take the right entrance into the keep. We enter into a very small hallway. As another point of interest, I should point out that I am not playing an optimised character at all, and took the feats Scorpion's Resolve (or whatever the first one in the series is) and Scorpion's Sense. As we're walking, the Cleric casts Detect Magic, and a large source of magic pings on his radar. I ask the DM if my Scorpion Sense picks up anything, and he says yes, lots of things. The cleric and I relay our info to the rest of the party, and the cleric casts Summon Monster to get out a Lemure. The Lemure, now at point, engages a goblin. The Barbarian got hit with a net trap, and had to be cut out of it. Eventually, the entire party gets into the room, which consists of something like 7 goblins. It's a goblin clusterfrak, as there's basically no other room. The barbarian starts killing things, the lemure proceeds to kill even more things, and the ranger has a fantastic critical in which he caves in one goblin's sinuses. All in all, most things that get into combat are killing what they fight. Which leaves me, right? The thing that pinged on the magic-dar turns out to be a goblin with some sort of flying contraption rigged to him, flying around and screeching. It tries to cast Cause Fear on the Barbarian and fails, as the Barb rolled something like a 21 for his Will save. I see this, and decide it's time to break out the big guns: that is, Scorching Ray. I end up only hitting once, and did abysmal damage to it. Next rounds starts, everybody kills more stuff. Then out of nowhere, DM says "roll a Fort save." I fail, and end up taking 4 Dessication damage, 1 Con damage, and become dehydrated. He tells me to make a spellcraft check. I pass it beautifully, and he says that the bat that just bit me and did all of this happens to be a familiar. I get angry. I let loose another Scorching Ray, first targeting the familiar. One shot kill. The other plows into the Goblin Sorceror, and finishes him off too. That round, every goblin dies. I stuff the bat into my Handy Haversack (the DM I could use it as a spell component to boost a spell later on), and loot the Sorceror: Ring of Protection +1 for me, thankyouverymuch.
We decided to end the game there for the day, as all of the previous material happened in one session.