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Viddaric
2009-01-26, 07:50 PM
being that I started this thread, I'll go first. disclaimer: this was not my death, I was not even present when it happened, but it is still funny

the party is going through the dungon as usual, and they come on a room with a small pool in it, with a couple of wooden ducks floating in the pool. curious, they go up and examine the ducks, and can find no more clues as to why they're there. then one of the party members says "you know, they look like hunting decoys". the instant the word "decoys" leaves his mouth, a dozen slats open in the dungon walls open, with a crossbow poking out of each one.

naturaly, the party gets purforated. *facepalm*

Ricky S
2009-01-26, 08:15 PM
Our party was wondering through a wilderness area then came up to a great castle and a wall that seemed to stretch for miles. So I cast fly and get everyone over the wall. However as we get over the court yard of the castle some wizard sees us and csats greater dispel magic and all of us fall to the ground each taking 17 damage. Our wizard (whos player was away that day) had a ring of feather fall which we all forgot cause he didnt have a proper character sheet. So he was on 1 hp after the fall. we then get attacked by the castle guards. and at random one of them makes a leap attack off the castle walls and attacks the wizard doing like 16 damage and killing him instantly. We lolled so much and even more when we heard that he had a ring of feather fall. Our DM ruled that he forgot to wear it that day.

Othe campaign. We were smuggling diamonds out of a royals house (we were a party of rogues). We were making our way down the stairs when our party leader trips on the red rugs on the stairs (rolled a 1 for move silently, then joking said i bet i wont get another 1, he got a one) tumbles down all the stairs and impales himself on the horns of a gazelle whos head is mounted on the wall. We took his body with us narrowly escaped and had to use all the diamonds we just stole to rev him. was absolutely hilarious again. Since then he has been very respectful to the dice gods

Delaney Gale
2009-01-27, 11:54 AM
Two tales from Die, Vecna, Die!:

Head of Vecna. Enough said.

Later, in the streets of Vecna's capital, we get into a verbal altercation with a cleric of Vecna who's trying to convert us. Basically, he gets pissy, but he's only level 3 and realizes he's being heckled by three level 12 characters (my Olidamarra-worshipping rogue, the deist cleric, and Vox, greyguard of Kas*). So, we go on roasting the cleric, and all is well until Vox yells out

"ALL HAIL VECNA, THE BITCH KING!"

The DM asks for a Fort save, and he rolls a 4. Turns out a passing lich cast disintegrate on him, because seriously, who DOES that!?

"All hail Vecna, the Bitch King" has gone on to become our party motto.

*yes, Kas is evil. In our campaign, he was a paladin corrupted by Vecna, and Vox worships that aspect of Kas.

Douglas
2009-01-27, 12:50 PM
Our party was wondering through a wilderness area then came up to a great castle and a wall that seemed to stretch for miles. So I cast fly and get everyone over the wall. However as we get over the court yard of the castle some wizard sees us and csats greater dispel magic and all of us fall to the ground each taking 17 damage. Our wizard (whos player was away that day) had a ring of feather fall which we all forgot cause he didnt have a proper character sheet. So he was on 1 hp after the fall. we then get attacked by the castle guards. and at random one of them makes a leap attack off the castle walls and attacks the wizard doing like 16 damage and killing him instantly. We lolled so much and even more when we heard that he had a ring of feather fall. Our DM ruled that he forgot to wear it that day.
If this ever happens again, be sure to point out this paragraph from the Fly spell description:

Should the spell duration expire while the subject is still aloft, the magic fails slowly. The subject floats downward 60 feet per round for 1d6 rounds. If it reaches the ground in that amount of time, it lands safely. If not, it falls the rest of the distance, taking 1d6 points of damage per 10 feet of fall. Since dispelling a spell effectively ends it, the subject also descends in this way if the fly spell is dispelled, but not if it is negated by an antimagic field.

Tacoma
2009-01-27, 02:29 PM
Our party was wondering through a wilderness area then came up to a great castle and a wall that seemed to stretch for miles. So I cast fly and get everyone over the wall. However as we get over the court yard of the castle some wizard sees us and csats greater dispel magic and all of us fall to the ground each taking 17 damage. Our wizard (whos player was away that day) had a ring of feather fall which we all forgot cause he didnt have a proper character sheet. So he was on 1 hp after the fall. we then get attacked by the castle guards. and at random one of them makes a leap attack off the castle walls and attacks the wizard doing like 16 damage and killing him instantly. We lolled so much and even more when we heard that he had a ring of feather fall. Our DM ruled that he forgot to wear it that day.


This is why you don't play someone's character when he's not there. He didn't wear his magic ring? Why wouldn't he? That's just churlish and inexcusable on the part of the DM - and the players who were laughing too hard to naysay it.

We just assume the absent players' characters are following along and not doing anything. If there's some kind of toll or everyone gets fire resistance so they can adventure in the volcano, the player is updated when he comes next and he can decide retroactively what he wants his character to do.

WaterTengu
2009-01-27, 02:54 PM
umm, the best death i ever had was a sorceror i made that was cursed at birth to die if his parents died. so he casts a flesh to stone spell on them, and then permanency. unfortunately, a castle is constructed around them as he grows older, and an army of orcs take over the castle. but they decide that the castle is unwanted and blow it up. so in the middle of a battle with Boccob, my character explodes. dealing 14d10 damage to all within a 100' radius, killing Boccob and the entire party (the battle was almost over).

(yes, i now realize you can not make flesh to stone permanent, but i was playing for the first time and my DM said it was ok.)

Curmudgeon
2009-01-27, 03:33 PM
A Ranger character was bull-rushed into an outhouse, which broke. The outhouse was built over a natural sinkhole, and the Ranger fell 50' to his death.

The party Sorcerer had to use Levitate and Prestidigitation to retrieve and clean the body before it was fit to be taken to a temple.

Tacoma
2009-01-27, 04:11 PM
2E.

I'm playing a big hulking barbarian type, in Undermountain. I had an Enlarge on me from a previous encounter, making me 10' tall and pretty buff. One of the PCs falls into this pit that when you hit the bottom it teleports you to the top at the same speed. So after a few trips the poor PC is at terminal velocity and screaming the entire time. The guy is our party dwarf fighter, decked out in spiked full plate.

I time things just right and throw out a rope. I lasso him! The DM has me make a DEX check to see if I get dragged into the pit. I fail miserably. But because of my size the DM gives me the chance to grab onto the edges and just wedge myself in like a chimney. I make it. And a brief moment later our dwarf pings out of the bottom of the pit and comes hurtling down at me at a hundred miles an hour. Stuff happens. There are liquids ... and semi-liquids.

Douglas
2009-01-27, 04:12 PM
(yes, i now realize you can not make flesh to stone permanent, but i was playing for the first time and my DM said it was ok.)
No need for permanency, Flesh to Stone is instantaneous. That means its effects are permanent already, without need for any further magic.

WaterTengu
2009-01-27, 06:28 PM
No need for permanency, Flesh to Stone is instantaneous. That means its effects are permanent already, without need for any further magic.

sir, that ws why i wrote that comment, i REALIZE that now. thank you for reminding me.

Prometheus
2009-01-27, 07:39 PM
A once had a Psachic warraor that was kalled by a athilids who used thear mand blasts when they were anvisible and when a daed a stall dadn't know what had hat me.

Douglas
2009-01-27, 07:56 PM
sir, that ws why i wrote that comment, i REALIZE that now. thank you for reminding me.
Sorry, the way you phrased it made it sound like you thought it was temporary and couldn't be made permanent rather than that it didn't need to be made permanent because it already was.

Molant
2009-01-27, 08:01 PM
I had a ranger fighting a lich once and some spell or another stunned (or something) him. While the rest of part was fighting I had to waste a turn just making a save to throw off the effect. Since I couldn't do anything until my next turn, I just gave him the finger. He responded with the finger...of death.

There was also a cool one (although not exactly a character death) where my assassin was the only member of the party not captured by pirates that had teleported to and hijacked our ship. After killing over a score of the suckers and freeing my the rest of the party, I end up facing off against the death knight pirate leader. Rogue/assassin vs death knight = no contest; I'm down. So then the party cleric who follows a Lawful Good god uses some pentagram super evil necromancy ritual to summon me (Chao Evil) back from Hell, just because I'm the only party member worth having around and just saved their cakes.

Get this, he takes a double alignment hit (to True Neutral), gets rejected AND cursed by his god. Ouch, man, ouch.

kjones
2009-01-27, 09:19 PM
A once had a Psachic warraor that was kalled by a athilids who used thear mand blasts when they were anvisible and when a daed a stall dadn't know what had hat me.

Is your "i" key broken or something? No, there's some "i" in "athilids"... What's going on? Did somebody run a regex on your post? Or put it into a Markov chain generator?

Mando Knight
2009-01-27, 10:50 PM
Is your "i" key broken or something? No, there's some "i" in "athilids"... What's going on? Did somebody run a regex on your post? Or put it into a Markov chain generator?

Methinks it is in jest. The thread title is misspelled in a similar fashion.

As written, all of the posts relevant to this thread should deal with deaths related to a glowing (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GlowingEyesOfDoom) red (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedEyesTakeWarning)eye (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CyberCyclops) that can't let Dave (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001:_A_Space_Odessey)do that. (http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/wolfgif.gif) Wolf can't let Dave do that, either.

The_Blue_Sorceress
2009-01-27, 11:43 PM
A death of my own:

My party consists of: Me, a fighter, a Slayer of Domiel, an unusually useless druid, a cleric and a barbarian. We are members of a mercenary force that has snuck into a city our comapny is seiging. Our job is to find a group to help us get the gates open and our army into the city. We have two options: we can get help from a wealthy merchant house looking to betray the current rulers of the city (another mercanry company) and take control, and some common folk looking to do the same thing. We decide that we're pretty sure the common folk aren't evil, but this merchant family, they're look suspicious.

Our cleric has a holy eye that can stun evil people, so we decide to go over for a chat (and dinner) and have our cleric give them the holy eyeball treatment. Turns out, they are spectacularly evil. A fight ensues. I come up with the brilliant plan of jumping on to the table and charging down it to cut one of our foes down (female spellcaster) before she can cause to much trouble. I relay my plan to the DM. He looks at me curiously and asks me to make a jump check. I succeed. I then discover that the table was not facing the way I thought it was. I just jumped over it, placing me right in a sneak attack sandwich formed by two reasonable powerful rogues. I am poked full of holes and die. Admittedly, I got better, but even though that game is over, another player will occasionally ask our DM which way the table is facing just to rib me.


A death not my own:

The party consists, as far as I recall, of me, a ranger, a fighter and a sorcerer or wizard. Maybe a barbarian too. We're around fifth level. We enter a large open room with high ceilings at the start of a dungeon. From a pit on the far side of the room emerges a rather ragged, unhealthy looking dragon. The DM has described the floor as slick. The fighter charges the dragon, not understanding that the dragon is over the pit, not in front of it. He can't stop his forward movement due to the slickness of the floor and he plumets to the bottom of the pit (100 ft) where he is impaled on a number of rusty spikes. He dies instantly. The rest of us kill the dragon and continue on our merry way.


-Blue

Accersitus
2009-01-28, 10:55 AM
The party was a group of 4 wizards
(3 neutral and 1 necromancer who was evil).
We were trapped in a special plane, and
working with a vampire (and his minions,
various undead/necromancers + 1 black dragon
shapeshifted/polymorphed/illusioned to look like a human)
to find a way to escape.
In addition he had also promised to
give us access to magical secrets he had come
across by raiding the owners of the plane.
After several missions for the vampire, with
little or no reward (I'm sort of lying since we got
quite a few scrolls lvl 1-9 from one of the missions,
but that was not reward from the vampire, we found
a hidden wizards library) we started to get quite
annoyed with him, and decided to kill him and take
everything he had. (It was the Necromancer's plan).
We didn't know about the dragon, but we knew that
everything else under the vampires command could
be dealt with without problem.
Only problem was that the vampire and dragon were
about CR20+ (each), and the party was lvl 13.
Not knowing how powerful thy were, we made a hasty
battle plan to kill the vampire as fast as possible, because
we knew he had an item he could use to teleport away.
The battle consisted of both the dragon and the vampire
making all their saves, and then killing 3 of the 4 wizards
in the party in one round. The last wizard (who had items
that made him a sort of mage tank, AC about 40ish) was
the only one left, and announced "I use my scroll of
Meteor Swarm on the vampires castle".
The DM decided the castle was totaled, but the game ended
since it was unlikely the vampire would let us live after that.

kjones
2009-01-28, 11:49 AM
Methinks it is in jest. The thread title is misspelled in a similar fashion.

As written, all of the posts relevant to this thread should deal with deaths related to a glowing (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GlowingEyesOfDoom) red (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedEyesTakeWarning)eye (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CyberCyclops) that can't let Dave (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001:_A_Space_Odessey)do that. (http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/wolfgif.gif) Wolf can't let Dave do that, either.

--> Joke

O
/\
/\ <-- me

Scorched Jawa
2009-01-28, 01:47 PM
A BIG group of friends (8 or so) and I were playing a game where two of us played identical twin halfling assassins. The group was to go to a cave to retrieve an artifact for a wizard in exchange for information on another artifact we were looking for. One of the DM's NPCs pulls the two of us (the halfling assassins) aside, since we had the highest charisma in the group, and gives us information about the cave regarding the inhabitants: illithids. When the group asks us about what the NPC told us, all we did was put our hands to our chins and wiggle them like illithid tentacles; being that we were mischievous evil bastages (we played practical jokes on the party all the time), we figured that was more than enough information for the party.

So, the group journeys to the cave entrance and finds a long, sloping tunnel leading down... with grease on it. Well, needless to say, we let everyone else go down there and get slaughtered, then reported back to the mage that the artifact wasn't there (rolled a nice big bluff check). :smallbiggrin:

m7stic
2009-01-28, 11:39 PM
Earlier this week I was DM'ing a session, and while doing so, decided that two wizards was too many for our party. The party is 4th level, but at six characters. The party was exploring a series of tunnels below an abandoned city and found an air shaft that extended an other 70 feet down below them. As the party was determining how deep it was and deciding whether to descend via rope or find a safer way to the next level down, I set a cloaker upon the party. As a CR5 encounter, it really wouldn't have been too difficult for the party to manage, except there was a large air shaft to worry about. The cat walk around the shaft was only 4 feet wide and lacking a railing, which increased the difficulty, and to make matters worse for the party, they were spread out along this walkway single file, so not everyone could reach the creature.

I use it's special to sicken the party first, at a DC of 15, you would expect more than 2 party members to make the save at lvl 4. Then, it attacks one of the wizards. After a successful grapple with a max damage roll on bite, followed the next round by the cloaker dragging the character off the ledge and letting go, it would seem as mission accomplished. What surprised the entire party was that this wizard had FEATHER FALL memorized for a SEWER ADVENTURE. The wizard survives, and the fight continues. The half-orc fighter kills the cloaker with his spear as it's attempting to pull the same tactic on the druid, and as a large creature it's body falls off of the ledge.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

So, by skill and planning, the wizard survives the encounter, only to fail his reflex save to dodge having a large corpse land on him from 70 feet above. After surviving the initial fall, I had planned to stop trying to kill the wizard, until a player tells me that the corpse wouldn't fit on the ledge on it's own and should probably end up /somewhere/ else after the encounter.

We had a good laugh.

Grail
2009-01-29, 01:12 AM
A couple:

Me as a player;
I was playing a beefed up guy with a helm of teleportation. My fav ploy was to grapple someone and teleport about a mile above the ground and then release them, letting my boots of levitation take care of the rest.

I forgot that I loaned my boots to the rogue.......... :smalleek:

Also me as a player;
Playing MERP when I was younger, we went through the Mines of Moria. I had my uber-powerful 20th level Rohir Warrior, complete with a +40 non-fumble Galvorn Broadsword that delivered equal Cold Crits, and x3 Concussion damage against servants of Morgoth. (yes it was cheesy). Of course, we came across the Balrog of Moria. I leaped to the attack, thinking that I could snot it verily..... and verily I did. One hit, one kill. Then the thing fell on me. <kersplat> :smallfrown:

Me as a DM;
Running the characters through the I, Tyrant series in 2e, one of the characters was a Dark Stalker (or something) thief. He was descending the 200' vertical shaft when the Death Tyrant disintegrated his rope. The rest of the party watched from above, not seeing the disintegration beam. Anyway, he plunged to his death, and upon his death exploded in a 5d6 fireball (death throes). The rest of the group who didn't know he was a Death Stalker, commented on how bad the trap was that it detonated an explosion to make sure you were dead.

And then Owen, the player, said "I had three ways I could have stopped that". He had boots of levitation on, Crossbows of Angling and a Scroll of Featherfall.

chiasaur11
2009-01-29, 01:21 AM
Methinks it is in jest. The thread title is misspelled in a similar fashion.

As written, all of the posts relevant to this thread should deal with deaths related to a glowing (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GlowingEyesOfDoom) red (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedEyesTakeWarning)eye (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CyberCyclops) that can't let Dave (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001:_A_Space_Odessey)do that. (http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/wolfgif.gif) Wolf can't let Dave do that, either.

Sorry. All I got is stories of how the Wilkerson patriarch gave us a TPK.

Note: Story may not exist.

Crier
2009-01-29, 01:26 AM
A once had a Psachic warraor that was kalled by a athilids who used thear mand blasts when they were anvisible and when a daed a stall dadn't know what had hat me.

are you twelve? >.< Good lord, any who, Party is walking through an old decreped stone structure, finaly, the wizard asked the DM to make a Know Dungeon roll, he made one he found out it was some sort of cultis structure where they buried their dead all mumyfied and stuff, so the monk says "Think their are any mummies?" And at that moment the DM rolls three d20, rolls two natural 20s and critted, a Dread lord mummy stepped through the wall..slaming down the side wall stone panneling onto the monk..he died by takeing over 200 damage..this also lead to the eventual suicide of our cleric she realy liked to RP

newbDM
2009-01-29, 01:28 AM
In the first campaign I ever ran my PCs finally got back to civilization after their first adventure (were stuck on uninhabited island for quite some time).

They ended up getting a job from the city's head council the same day, and were scheduled to leave the next morning.

One player decides that his character wanted to try and "get lucky" that night in town before they had to leave on an Oregon Trail like trip across my homebrewed continent. I had expected this, since the other players in our group often do semi-significant rolls in the other DM's game, so I made an extensive "Getting Lucky Table".

He rolls, and ends up running in terror, from a dwarven female, who was the most terrible experience his PC ever had in bed. But the fun didn't stop there, since he also rolled an STD on the Getting Lucky % table.

I pull out my Book of Erotic Fantasy in secret (I have a PDF copy on my laptop), and have him roll a % for reasons "yet unknown" to his PC.

So the next morning he and the other PCs leave the city on their three wagons for a journey that would take nearly 8 months.

Around six days later the other PCs find that the above mentioned PC woke up dead. No, seriously, he actually did. He had rolled vampirism on the STD chart...

Who_Da_Halfling
2009-01-29, 01:49 AM
How on earth is vampirism an STD?

That should be as big a clue as necessary not to try sleeping around in a D&D city.

-JM

Dienekes
2009-01-29, 01:56 AM
None of these are in DnD but here's my list (not including anything Paranoia related)

#3 Star Wars d6 Piloting spaceship into a sun while carrying the most of the party and the special thing the entire campaign was about.

#2 A Game of Thrones RPG dysentery

#1 Star Wars again. Stabbing a bomb with a lightsaber, causing a chain reaction that sets off a bigger bomb and destroys all of Coruscant.

None of these are me, though i did die on Coruscant in the last one.

MickJay
2009-01-29, 06:19 AM
How on earth is vampirism an STD?

You sleep with a vampire who is in it just for the blood.

The idea is still silly, though. If everyone who "slept" with vampires got vampirism themselves, there would soon be more vampires than normal people. Unless the vampire has to knowingly make the other person into a vampire (WoD-style, for example), but then what reason would he have to do that with a casual snack?

Cheesegear
2009-01-29, 07:09 AM
The idea is still silly, though. If everyone who "slept" with vampires got vampirism themselves, there would soon be more vampires than normal people.

Only if your vampires are the Anne Rice kind, who like to wear ripped stockings, combat boots and post to their livejournal.

Most (if not all) sources I've read/seen, have had vampires only have one 'lover' (at most, I've seen one with a 'harem' of three), usually another vampire. Twilight definitely does not count, and if you want me to wreck the book for you, then it does count :smallwink:

But, now I'm off-topic.

Wizard. Fly. Dispel Magic. Oops.

Another one I had, was my ranger who dropped a bag of caltrops over an area before he went to sleep that night, since he wasn't a wizard (and our party didn't have) for handy-dandy Alarm spells and the like.
He then has a rather large dream sequence, and the DM goes into an elaborate...Well, 'thing'. Anyway, we begin fighting a 'dream' encounter, we later found out that every time we fought the BBEG in our dreams, it was weakening him in reality.

Not part of the story, but still intesting
He did the same to us, everytime he 'killed' us - we'd wake up with a random ability drain for a few days. Roll 1d6, that's your stat that's drained. 1 = STR, 2 = DEX ... 6 = CHA. If your character got 'WTFPWNED!11!!', then you're level drained when you wake up. It sounds worse than it actually was, since we 'won' more than 75% of the time. :smallwink:

Anyway, we all wake up, having beaten the BBEG (or so we thought, turns out the Dreamwalker was an underling...), and feeling pretty good with ourselves having just won an encounter - no deaths - and we had gained a level! Sweet!

Then we get ambushed, or, rather, large group of {I forgot the monster here} stumbled upon our camp. We legged it, knowing that in the last town we passed, there was a garrison of troops that should be warned about this huge group of {Damn, I forget}.

Our group decision "We run!" We had set up an elaborate tactic, that every round, our archers (me and another) would run 30ft, turn, and shoot the front-runners of the horde chasing us (the DM had graciously given us Arrows of Fireballs a while back, and both us decided like Hell that we weren't going to use them unless we absolutely had to).

Hoping that they'd back off. The Fighter decided to pick up the wizard and run triple-movement away. We began rolling dice for our various actions. The DM (for no apparent reason) widens his eyes, and starts rolling dice. Evil grin aplenty.
He finishes rolling, and then plants three d4s in the middle of the table. "Think about it." he says.

The Caltrops! *facepalm*. We were gimped and the horde caught us. We then rolled up characters who were part of the aforementioned garrison about to be attacked. So, the campaign wasn't over.

Not hilarious. Except that to us, when we saw 3d4, we all thought of caltrops at the same time. Don't lie, it happens to everyone at least once. :smallamused: