Adults Who Were Only Children Want Multiple Children?

[Joran]

During a Washington Post chat today, I saw a very interesting thought:


Random thought, I am an only child and I don't think it is right to have only one child. I know my parents thought they couldn't have children and I was a wonderful surprise to them, but I have many friends (who aren't only children) who say they only want one child. I think this is terribly selfish and other only children seem to always agree with me. I have yet to meet an only child who wants just one child. At the end of the day, it -usually- a person's choice on the number of children, but it really bugged to see the number of people who wanted only one child.

So, since I have only a grand total of three only children friends, I wanted to throw this out and see if this seems to be a prevalent sentiment among only children. This is somewhat relevant to me, since I'm starting to think about having children and maybe this might sway me to having more than one.

[Sneak]

Hmm. That is interesting.

I will say that if I do have children, I'd prefer to not have only one. No more than three, though. :smallwink:

I'm not technically an only child, as I have a brother, but my brother is seven years older than I am. I'm a sophomore in high school, and he's a senior in college. Thus, I've pretty much effectively been an only child for a few years now.

Shrug.

[Moff Chumley]

I have a brother 3 years younger than me, and I wouldn't subject anyone to that. >.<

[Cristo Meyers]

I've always been intrigued by the idea that not having kids or, in this case, not wanting multiple kids is somehow selfish...:smallsigh:

But I'm not going to drag this thread into that pit.

I think it's a matter of "grass is always greener." Only children grew up without siblings, so they look at familys with multiple children more positively.

[Lyesmith]

I'm an only child, and personally I really dislike children till the age of 8, at which point they are at least mildly bearable.

Although this experience is based majorly on little brothers/sisters of freinds, who are kinda a pain. Also my step-niece to-be, who is a toddler, real age escapes me just now. She is lovely, but also a pain.

EDIT : Also I would be a terrible father. But I dunno if I'd want multiple kids, if I wanted them. My freinds siblings are usually fighting when I visit.

[Kaelaroth]

Nah, wouldn't want one kid. Either two, or none, methinks. Three or more leads to one of 'em feeling left out, methinks, and only kids are often screwed up, spoiled, or introvert. Not all of 'em. But more than siblinged folks, methinks.
EDIT: Note, I'm siblinged.

[Winterwind]

I am an only child, and I always wished I had siblings. I am pretty sure I would be a mentally much healthier person now, too, if I had not grown up alone.

If I should ever have children (which I hope will come true some day), I would want to have multiple children, too.

I do not think it is selfish of people to prefer to have only a single child though.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Two.

And I have one brother.

[Zeful]

During a Washington Post chat today, I saw a very interesting thought:



So, since I have only a grand total of three only children friends, I wanted to throw this out and see if this seems to be a prevalent sentiment among only children. This is somewhat relevant to me, since I'm starting to think about having children and maybe this might sway me to having more than one.

I had a friend in middle school that pointed out that he had to get married otherwise his family name would stop with him. He wasn't an only child, but he was the only male child.

[Telonius]

:smallredface: Looks like I read the thread title wrong - thought it meant that adults don't want multiple kids. :smallbiggrin:

Anywho, I'm not sure where I fall into this. Biologically, I'm an only child. I was adopted just after being born. I was 6 years old before my adoptive parents adopted my little brother (who's biologically urelated to me). So in the time most people with siblings had a brother or sister one or two years younger or older, I was living as an only child.

I'm married now. My wife had two older half-sisters when she was growing up. She and I are going to try for two biological children, and will probably adopt a third. So it's not just only children that want more than one. :smallsmile:

[valadil]

I would not choose to have only one child. My little brother made me miserable growing up, but after him I can tolerate anybody else. I think only-children tend to be more self centered because of their upbringing. Both parents dote on them and they don't have to share with anyone. It's hard NOT to be self centered coming up like that.

[Cristo Meyers]

I would not choose to have only one child. My little brother made me miserable growing up, but after him I can tolerate anybody else. I think only-children tend to be more self centered because of their upbringing. Both parents dote on them and they don't have to share with anyone. It's hard NOT to be self centered coming up like that.

On the flip side, unless you have the two children relatively close together, the elder becomes akin to the "test child." The younger child gains the benefit of the experience brought from raising the elder. So instead of self-centered-ness, you get resentment.

[Pyrian]

Meh. The grass is always greener - as usual. :smallcool:

[sktarq]

I was an only child (technically-half siblings on another continent and more than 10 years older-minimal contact) and frankly I think that having one child seems fine to me. I can totally see the grass is greener. Siblings have both pluses and minuses and people feel those minuses to be more memorable and thus more likly to change their behavior later on. Frankly I'm in my late twenties and knowing I'm not ready to be a father yet tells me I can't know how many kids I want. As an only child I've often felt like a test child anyway-everything is always new. My friends (most of whom were not only children) parents however didn't seem to have the close respect my parents and I had-which is something I'd really want to have with my own child/ren and have only found it (in my own personal experience) in other only children or very messed up families that had major attention fairness issues.

[Dallas-Dakota]

That is, if I ever want a family.
My current one is a....lessay a bit messed up...

[zeratul]

As a person with four siblings (all of whom are older than me) I think I can safely say I vastly prefer this to what it would be like with no siblings as me and my siblings now all get along very well. However there does seem to be a tendancy for sibling rivalries to occur in some families in which case the siblings do not get along particularly well. Thus really it depends on the situation as to which one is better.

[RabbitHoleLost]

As a person with four siblings (all of whom are older than me) I think I can safely say I vastly prefer this to what it would be like with no siblings as me and my siblings now all get along very well. However there does seem to be a tendancy for sibling rivalries to occur in some families in which case the siblings do not get along particularly well. Thus really it depends on the situation as to which one is better.

I'm the oldest of five, and I can say much the same thing. We all get along fairly well, though...
:: shrugs:: I can't say I'd ever only want one child, atleast, not until I'm in the mindset to have children.

[Ricky S]

I am in a 2 child family, me and my sister. And I kind of want to have 3 or even 4 kids when I get older. I guess it is the "grass is greener" thing, but after seeing other families who had lots of brothers or sisters, I thought that it would be nice. But I guess either way it doesnt matter cause I still have to find a partner :smallbiggrin:

[Mauve Shirt]

I have one sister, two years older than me. I've got delusions of having to live up to expectations set by her, but other than that siblinghood is cool. I'd definitely have two kids, if I have three I would hope that they are relatively close in age to each other. My mother was 10 years younger than her oldest sister, 7 years younger than her oldest brother, and 3 years younger than her youngest brother.

[Dragonrider]

As the oldest of four children (1.5, 6, and 12.5 years younger than I) I would probably be a prime candidate for wanting one/none. But I love little kids and I want many. :smallbiggrin:

Okay, not MANYMANY. Three, four. But...yeah.

[Tirian]

My only hesitation with this theory is that I think you'd be hard-pressed to find many folk of any sort who "want" to have exactly one child. Nearly all of the one-child families that I know of were planning on having more and it didn't work out because of infertility or divorce or whatever.

[Assassin89]

I have a sister who is 1.75 years older than me and a brother who is 10.583 younger than me.

Not that interested in marrying or having children.

[DraPrime]

I think that a sibling would have been nice for an only child like me, but this has more to do with my parents than anything else. They've always yelledat each other. A lot. They despise each other. Some of you may remember that this resulted in my mom temporarily kicking me out of the house. Well it would have been nice to have had someone like a sibling to talk with about all this crap. Even after 16 years it still bothers me. So I'm not a typical only child, so I can't say if having a sibling would be better for normal kids.

[Reinboom]

I'm the youngest of a family of 10, 8 living.
Listing by initials (and numbers for those siblings that share initials), gender, age, and children they had (as well as comments I recall directly from them).
BJ, female, early 40s, 4 children.
JC1, female, late 30s, 3 children.
CT, female, late 30s, 3* children. (family lost contact with her long ago, unsure if this still is true)
--
--
FS, female, early 30s, 2 children. Decided that she wouldn't give up her boys for the world but would not be able to handle 3.
JC2, female, 30, 5 birth children, 1 adopted. Wanted 12, however, she developed complications with her last pregnancy. Has started adopting to fill that gap.
JS, male, late 20s, 5 children, though his first he doesn't have custody/wasn't with his wife. Loves children and wants more, however, was given a flat no by his wife.
PH, female, late 20s, 1 child. She absolutely refuses the thought of more children, but made her husband have a reverse vasectomy in order to have her 1.
RS, female, 20, 0 children. Wants 1 child. Eventually. Not now though.

I was also raised with, for 4 years (after PH moved out), with one of my eldest sister's sons (who is 2 years younger than me).

Noting, the largest age gap is between RS (me) and PH, at 7 1/2 years. Or 6 1/2, I forget which year she was born exactly...


It is difficult to find links here to much of anything. JC2 is not that well off financially, but isn't in the gutters either. PH lived in a camping trailer for a few years, living off of bare minimums. JS moved quickly from financial instability to owning his own automechanic business.
PH and JS were very close together and quite competitive with each other. FS and JC2 were also very close, however, it was mostly FS protecting and pampering JC2.

I acted similar to an only child whenever I could. I always did different things from my siblings, mostly, because for the longest time they seemed more like parent figures than sibling figures. With the exception of JC2 who I became attached to. However, that's more because she's nerdy.

For financial progress of my parents... well, they went from living in a bus and hopping between state to state to being stable by my growing up. (Stable being still below the US poverty line).


For my outside views, out of the 2 cousins who were raised as only children... one of them wants no children, and the other wants exactly 1 child.



Also, as for "selfish". I believe this is a bad term.
Most of the time, the reasons tend to be either "I really adore children" vs "I don't believe I'm capable to divide my attention between any more than X children/can't support more than X children."

[Coidzor]

I'm youngest of three and I don't want children. On the offchance that I do start procreating I would prefer to have 2-3 children, as 4 is just a bad idea, usually, and one is just... weird...

[sktarq]

and one is just... weird...

Funny but that's how I feel about 2+

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

2 children seems ideal, as long as they get together. I am the eldest of 3, and we generally get along fine.

[Recaiden]

I think its just that its the type of family they didn't have, and assume to be better. I want to have multiple children, and have several siblings though, so I don't fit in.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

I'm kind of the opposite of SweetRein. I'm the eldest of 10 kids.

While, personally, I think 10 kids is pushing it, I've yet to known a single child who liked it. Me, I never had a problem with all my siblings. I love kids and really want to have a few of my own.

I have noticed however that single kids tend to have only a solitary child, and, this is soley my own experience so if it's not yours don't have a snit, they tend to have attention and sharing issues. They want all the attention and don't want to give. Even up to adulthood.

Now big families... pfftt, I know plenty and there is no real universal anything. I've known big families that were pure chaotic mayhem and other big families so orderly and behaved it made me ill. Most though are in the middle, with there being enough kids to have a wide variety of personalities and behaviors.

[Mando Knight]

I'm the youngest of a family of 10, 8 living.

And here I thought that I was going to be the poster with the largest family. I'm the third-born of my parents' six sons (though I'm currently second oldest because the firstborn died a few months before my older brother was born...), and my parents adopted a daughter who was born just before my 8th birthday...

Also, my dad's the sixth son of seven, and has an older sister as well. My family is... large. And I myself am not opposed to the idea of having a largish brood...

[Felixaar]

I'm in a fairly unique position - depending on how you want to chalk it up, I can be an only child or have up to eight siblings (I have three half brothers, two half sisters, and three stepbrothers two of whom are deceased).

I don't think that only children want many children - I would say it's more likely that some only children want many children. But this is not to say that all only children want many children, or that people who want many children are always only children. Their are many factors that shape how many kids you would like to have.

As for me, the number of children is less important compared to the quality of childhood, and the health of the children. However, assuming I can give them all good, healthy lives (or atleast, to the same effect I could have if I'd had only one), then I would like to have more children rather than less. 3-5 is probably the bracket I would aim for.

O'course, I'm (understandably) terrified at the prospect of having children, mainly because I don't yet have confidence in myself as a parent or provider. I can babysit and all, but 24/7 with multiple kids? I just hope I'd be able to take good care of them... which is why they'd need a good mother, so they turn out atleast half right :smallsmile:

[UncleWolf]

I can say that I am not an only child and I want at least two.

[Trazoi]

I am an only child, and I always wished I had siblings. I am pretty sure I would be a mentally much healthier person now, too, if I had not grown up alone.
I've got four siblings, and I'm still pretty warped mentally. :smallbiggrin:

[Archpaladin Zousha]

As the oldest of four, I can personally say that I would not want to have children or even get married. Not because I'm selfish. Not because I don't like kids. But because I have Asperger's Syndrome, I don't think I will ever be emotionally or psychologically mature enough to handle the responsibilities and consequences of child-rearing.

[Fostire]

My father is the eldest son out of nine and he has six sons, me being the third born. And all of my father's brothers and sisters have 3 children, except for one of my aunts who couldn't have a third due to health issues and my youngest uncle who had his second child a couple of month ago.
I would want 3 children myself, and I think one of my brothers mentioned wanting 3 children. There seems to be some pattern there.

[toasty]

My mom is one of 9. The average number of children each of her siblings had is around 3-4.

I'm one of three... I want at least two kids, probably three.

My sister wants fifteen million kids... but she's crazy like that. :p

[wxdruid]

I'm the oldest of six kids in my family. Out of my five siblings, I really only talk a lot to the next oldest. I only want one kid, she's already enough to handle and feed and cloth and all the rest.

Me-one kid
second oldest-none
third-one kid (with one miscarriage before that)
fourth-two kids (wants more, husband says no)
fifth-just getting married this summer
sixth-unlikely to have kids (autistic)

My Aunts

First-one kid
Second-two kids

Of my cousins

the child of the first aunt had 3-4 children
the children of the second both had 2 kids relatively close in ages (and all four children are relatively close in age)

[Shadowbane]

I'm an only child, and I find myself hoping that if/when I have kids, I have more than one. My friends with brothers or sisters disagree, but those of my friends who are only children agree with me.

[Zarrexaij]

I'm from a family of three kids and want 2 kids of my own, more than likely adopting a kid as well.

Personally, I think saying only having one kid is "selfish" is ignoring the very fact wanting children, period, is a pretty selfish act by definition since you are propagating your own genes and adding to an overpopulated world....

Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with having children and saying there's anything wrong with wanting children being selfish. It's just sorta counterproductive to claim wanting one and only one child is selfish as opposed to multiple children.

Of course, similar logic can be used with not wanting children, so, meh.

[Felixaar]

Not to derail the thread (oh, we all know I love it), but I thought it'd be interesting to also discuss adoption. I, personally, would most likely only adopt if I or my partner were biologically unable to have children - though the thought appeals to me, I just don't know if I'd be able to handle the delicacy of orphaned children, especially brought into a family of my own. I suppose it's one of those situations were I'd like to but would be to worried I'd ruin it all to take the risk. And while I'm a risk take, when it comes to the lives of others I curb my urges.

Zousha, you are a kind and wise man. One could argue that if you have the ability to realise the limitations placed upon you, you have the ability to overcome them - or atleast to fight against them.

[Syka]

My boy's an only and he's pretty adament that if (big if) we ever have kids that there will be 2- whether that's biologically or adoption doesn't matter, I don't think.

His thing is he was a really lonely kid growing up since he lived in the country and he doesn't want any child of his to have to go through the same thing.

It works, since I want 2 kids max. We agreed if (IF) we ever have kids, there will be 2. Preferably 2 years apart, I've found that age gap seems to work best for avoiding significant sibling rivalry. My sister and I are two years apart; effectively, it's a two child household. I have an older half sister, but she's 16 years older than me and was placed for adoption, so it doesn't really count.

[UncleWolf]

My boy's an only and he's pretty adament that if (big if) we ever have kids that there will be 2- whether that's biologically or adoption doesn't matter, I don't think.

His thing is he was a really lonely kid growing up since he lived in the country and he doesn't want any child of his to have to go through the same thing.

It works, since I want 2 kids max. We agreed if (IF) we ever have kids, there will be 2. Preferably 2 years apart, I've found that age gap seems to work best for avoiding significant sibling rivalry. My sister and I are two years apart; effectively, it's a two child household. I have an older half sister, but she's 16 years older than me and was placed for adoption, so it doesn't really count.

Who knows, maybe it will be twins(like me and my sister).

[Reinboom]

My boy's an only and he's pretty adament that if (big if) we ever have kids that there will be 2- whether that's biologically or adoption doesn't matter, I don't think.

His thing is he was a really lonely kid growing up since he lived in the country and he doesn't want any child of his to have to go through the same thing.

It works, since I want 2 kids max. We agreed if (IF) we ever have kids, there will be 2. Preferably 2 years apart, I've found that age gap seems to work best for avoiding significant sibling rivalry. My sister and I are two years apart; effectively, it's a two child household. I have an older half sister, but she's 16 years older than me and was placed for adoption, so it doesn't really count.

Hmm, location and number might play a significant role. Thinking back on all my siblings that is.

[The Orange Zergling]

I have a brother 6 and 1/2 years older than me... our case is unusual so I don't know if this is really valid. But basically, for the greater portion of his life (I'd estimate about till he turned 16, he'll be 21 in April), he'd wished he was an only child, and, thus, treated me like absolute crap. I remember with complete clarity a number of incidents in my first 5 years or so in which case I wanted to do brotherly things with him (play video games, mostly), but was ignored or, when I knocked on his door, told to go away (in meaner language... I think I've been referred to as "assmonkey" more than my actual name). After that I pretty much gave up trying to be a little brother and just accepted the truth.

Due to the economy, he's moving back in with us in a few weeks... he's gotten a lot better and my parents say he's genuinely sorry for how he acted, even though he hasn't told me so himself. Now... I'm not sure, but if you had asked me only a year previously, I would have said I would rather have been either an only child or been with any number of siblings if they had been true siblings and not just relatives in blood; anything except what I was going through.

I was lonely and angry, but not because I effectively did not have a brother, but because I had one who did not act like it.

Personally, I plan on having children, and I will likely have 2, but just 1 is not entirely out of the question. Of course, I'm a wee bit young to be thinking this far ahead, so things can always change...

[Calyx Asgard]

I have lots of half-brothers and sisters but I was raised as an only child, this is because my father couldn't seem to keep it in his pants.

[skywalker]

Well, I'm first of all curious as to why they think it's selfish to only want 1 kid? Is it because you're not doing your part to keep up the population (we need 2.1 kids per couple to keep up with car accidents, etc)?

I know personally, some people have that sense of civic duty (or want someone to pay into Social Security when they're older), but I personally think that's purely a matter of choice, and it doesn't really matter.

It's not like you're being selfish with regards to your future child, since, as childhood disadvantages go, I'm pretty sure I'd rather be an only child than pretty much any other disadvantage (and you're going to have at least one). I personally don't see it as a disadvantage at all.

My situation: I was adopted at birth by my parents (actually, technically before birth, like in Juno). Until I was 9.5, I was their only child, strictly speaking. I had 4 foster siblings for between 6 and 16 months at a time, the last 2 together since they were half-siblings. I don't think they changed me significantly, they were more like kids who lived with us than full on siblings... Sort of how you view a dog (no, I don't mean we treated them like dogs... Altho some foster families do :smallfrown::smallfurious:), you love it and cherish it and all that, but you know some day the state is going to take it away and give it to someone else, possibly back to the druggie parents it is going to die because doggie lifespans are shorter than human, and so this is not a permanent part of your family.

When I was 10, my sister was (miraculously) born, and so I have not been an only child since then. My parents (who have gotten more involved than child psychology than any other non-psychologist parents I know) say that it did not occur during my formative years, and that psychologically speaking, I am an only child. The problem with this is that while I am rather independent and have no trouble seeing myself as important, I also have an incredibly forceful drive to share with and help others. I see that as a product of many, many forces.

So I don't think the number of siblings has nearly as much impact on a child's development as a great many other things. Just too many factors.

Also, to those who said the first child could be the "test child." Personally, my parents tried everything they used to raise me on my sister and it failed utterly.

Finally... I want two kids, mainly so my wife can name one and I can name one. I mean, obviously we'll both be involved, but I think primary creative control will be split. I think more than two is a pull on parental resources... Maybe three. One would be alright but it doesn't seem like enough love in my personal love boat.

[THAC0]

I have a sib, my husband is an only child.

I suspect that we will stop after one child. I have a feeling that I'm not going to want to do that all again.

Which is pretty much what his mom said, after two days of labor and an emergency c-section. NEVER AGAIN.

Regardless, what works for one kid doesn't necessarily work for another. What works for one family doesn't necessarily work for another.

I wouldn't start calling anyone's decision in this field selfish, unless they're doing something like deliberately popping out too many to take care of in too short a time.

[Quincunx]

Data dump.

Grandmother: X of approx. 10 siblings
Grandfather: "Unlucky number 13" of 14 siblings
Mother: Only child. Wanted 3 or 4 kids.
(There may have been adoptions in, adoptions out, underlying medical issues, etc. here--I'm sticking to what I can verify.)

Father: 1 of 4 siblings. Preceding generations, from my incomplete info, hovered around the same quantity. Wanted 2 or 3 kids.

We kids: Hell no, I don't know, hell no.
"I don't know" would have been bred if she were married.

[Sir_Norbert]

Preferably 2 years apart, I've found that age gap seems to work best for avoiding significant sibling rivalry. My sister and I are two years apart; effectively, it's a two child household.
I'd agree with that. I'm 18 months older than my sister and it's wonderful to have someone that close that I can always rely on for support. I would never have only one child.

Actually, I want to have seven or eight, provided all or nearly all of them are girls :) Fortunately my girlfriend also wants a large family. She has only one sister who's ten years younger, so I think she wishes she'd had more siblings who were closer to her own age.

[Serpentine]

I believe I've read somewhere that people tend to want the same number of children as were in their family. Thus single children tend to want one, with one sibling want two, etc. Works for me. I have one sister (well, and two step-siblings, but they don't count), and think 2 kids'd be best for me. I think I'd either want them to be twins, or around 4 or 5 years apart (Seren and I are 6-7 years apart, and it's just a bit too far for real comradarie). 'course, she and I are pretty typical in other ways, too. I've seen descriptions of personality types of different children. Seren and I almost exactly exemplify the eldest and youngest types. I'll see if I can find them...

edit: Found something, but I should stress it's incomplete research at best and pop-psychology at worst.

First Born Children


The first born child is usually the child with the most attention directed at him/her. This common event is part of the reason this particular child turns out the way he/she does. There are two typical types of first born children, compliant and aggressive. The first born in your family can be either one of these two types, and have these typical traits:

Compliant Traits

People Pleasers
Crave Approval
Nurturers
Caregivers
Reliable
Concientious
Cooperative
Team Players
"Grin and bear it" mentatlity
Aggressive Traits

Movers and shakers
Natural leaders
Perfectionists
Driven
Conventional
Always have things under control
Assertive
Want things their way
These two types of first born children may seem very different, but they do share quite a few characteristics.

Common Traits

Energetic
Logical
Ambitious
Enterprising
Scholarly

[serpnote: one of the things I've particularly heard is they tend to take responsibility for other people, meaning they'll both watch out for them and boss them around. Definitely my sister.]


Last Born Children

Last born children tend to be the easiest to define when it comes to the correlation between birth order and personality, this is mostly due to the fact that there is only one main type of last born.

Last Born Traits
Risk takers
Idealists
Good sense of humor
Hard working
Immature
Attention seeking
Secretive
Sensitive
Last born children are often considered the baby of the family, and live up to this role. At times it is difficult for the last born child to find his/her place in the family, as the first and middle child have already left huge footprints to follow in, and carved their own niche into the family.

[Canadian]

Children want more than one of everything. Dogs, cats, toys, video games, cars, houses etc. simply because mom and dad pay for everything and little kids have no concept of money.

Being selfish is having more kids than you can afford and ending up on welfare.

That's selfish.

Kids don't understand that if you can't afford it you shouldn't do it.

[UncleWolf]

@Serp: I don't fit into any of those groups. But then again, I'm a twin, so they may not have anything for those.

[Ilena]

Well i am an only child, and i always wished to have a brother or sister, well ... technicly im not an only child for i have two half sisters ive never met, as they live in completely differnt provinces and so forth, and other things that i wont get into, but i grew up alone, while i know having a brother or sister around would have been annoying at times, it still would have been nice to have someone to share things with,

[borninbones]

Well if I wanted my kids to be only children I pretty much screwed that up when I had more then one.

I was the oldest of 2. I hated my brother all throughtout my entire life until I grew up. Now that I dont have to compete with him for everything we have become good buds. The fact that there are 1500 miles between us probably helps somewhat. My sons get along awesomely (so far) they are 4 years and 3 days apart and so far so good.

My fiance was the youngest of 8. And she wants to have 2 more. Go figure.

Some like having only one some like having a 17. Some prefer none. And those who cant have any often end up having a lot (only 15% of all infertile non-fixed persons end up NOT having kids, some newspaper is my source).

I also find that what behavior that the first child is can radically determine whether the parents choose to have another. Some children turn out to be little monsters. I can say this because I was one of the worst without being a criminal. And the parents decide that its best to not have more kids. And I have also seen the worst thing happen to a couple and they decide not even to try again after that event and I cant say that I blame them.

I will tell you this though, holding your child in your arms and having them smile at you because they are happy to see you, its the greatest joyful feeling on this planet.

[Serpentine]

@Serp: I don't fit into any of those groups. But then again, I'm a twin, so they may not have anything for those.I just put in first-born and last-born, cuz that's what me'n'my sister are. There's a twins (http://www.birthorderandpersonality.com/id5.html) page too. Be interested to know what you think.

[DrowVampyre]

I'm an only child, and I always liked being an only child. In fact, apparently when I was little I mistook something mom said for plans for another kid and was very, very upset. Not because I crave a ton of attention (although I can from certain people >_> <_<) or possessions, but...because all my friends with siblings were constantly annoyed by them and I really like to be left alone a fair amount.

As for future plans...well, I don't ever want kids of my own, so my family line dies with me. I've never liked kids, and I'd be a horrible parent. On top of that, there's the whole wrong-body issue I have so...yeah, even if I did want kids I don't think it's really viable...

EDIT: I looked up the only child (http://www.birthorderandpersonality.com/id2.html) thin on Serp's link, too - I get some hits and some misses.

Traits

Trust their own opinion, prompt, ambitious, enterprising, energetic, set goals, good problem solvers, and ambitious.

Self-Centered, fearful of trying new things, criticize themselves and others, worry too much, feel they are always right(not so much always as hate being told I'm not when I know I am >_> <_<), inflexible, and too busy to see the big picture.


Career

Choose careers similar to those of first born children such as: law, medicine, and architecture. Like black and white concepts and often prefer to work alone or be the boss, which accounts for their success.

Do not like to be told what to do, often stray from team work situations, or take too much of the responsibility(neutralish - depends on the team). May not respond well to criticisism, and therefore may not improve on areas that are flawed. (I try to see if the criticism is justified and, if so, rectify it, but I'm sure I'm mistaken on a lot of that)

[Dragonrider]

Not to derail the thread (oh, we all know I love it), but I thought it'd be interesting to also discuss adoption. I, personally, would most likely only adopt if I or my partner were biologically unable to have children - though the thought appeals to me, I just don't know if I'd be able to handle the delicacy of orphaned children, especially brought into a family of my own.

The adoption discussion is interesting - I'd like to point out that many adopted children are not orphans, but their parents felt they couldn't care for them (often young unwed mothers). Your above qualms also depend greatly on the age of the child - a baby adopted at the age of two months is far less likely to have issues that one that's two years, or ten, or fifteen.

(/partially colored by my aunt's experience with having an adopted daughter. There's a story for you, by the way - she's the oldest of three, never ever EVER wanted kids, got pregnant after eight years of marriage, six months after he was born started toying with the idea of adopting a second, got her a year later, and then six years after that had ANOTHER baby. Wanted none, ended up with three, and is happy with them. Funny.)

[VeisuItaTyhjyys]

I suppose I would like multiple children, and was an only child.

[Starshade]

Kids? Well, i dont know how many, id just say "shure".
My only preference in the area, is id like to see the first one grow up from small to bigger, all the way. Adoption is ok, i just feel i need to learn and experience the process from the kid is small at least, at least once.

What made me understand that, was thinking. I got at work, a woman, who i find i like a little (just a little, i dont mean i'm really interested :smallamused: ), and she is single, and got 2 kids.

Issue? well, exept none of us seem remotely interested in each other, the kids at least isnt a issue, just i feel i dont know the parenting role at all, its just soo much i dont know.

And i need a permanent and real job, and, find a girl. Oddly i find i like kids, including small children, but isnt always on the outlook for someone to realize a family. Heh, as teenager, id probably rate kids higher than having a GF perhaps even (it dont mean i'm totally crazy for small crying babies, just feel little interested in jumping into relationships if it dont feel anything special).

Number? dont know, honestly. No idea.

[Syka]

Interesting tidbit: the lady who just had octuplets on top of already having 6 kids, single, and not having a job was an only child and always wanted a large family.

[UncleWolf]

I just put in first-born and last-born, cuz that's what me'n'my sister are. There's a twins (http://www.birthorderandpersonality.com/id5.html) page too. Be interested to know what you think.

My sister shows more of the "Leader" traits while I show* more of the "Follower" traits even though we are both natural leaders.

*For me, I use these as a cover to keep people underestimating me. If you went to middle school where I did, so would you.

Other than that, the list seems to be pretty accurate, but if someone compares us to the Olsen Twins, I am going to have to beat them with their own dismembered arms. :smallannoyed:

[Felixaar]

The adoption discussion is interesting - I'd like to point out that many adopted children are not orphans, but their parents felt they couldn't care for them (often young unwed mothers). Your above qualms also depend greatly on the age of the child - a baby adopted at the age of two months is far less likely to have issues that one that's two years, or ten, or fifteen.

(/partially colored by my aunt's experience with having an adopted daughter. There's a story for you, by the way - she's the oldest of three, never ever EVER wanted kids, got pregnant after eight years of marriage, six months after he was born started toying with the idea of adopting a second, got her a year later, and then six years after that had ANOTHER baby. Wanted none, ended up with three, and is happy with them. Funny.)

Jeez, that's a long piece of coding.

You're right about adoptee's, though - I just knew when I said orphans someone was going to call me out on it.