OOTS #630 - The Discussion Thread

[The Giant]

New comic is up.

[Darkfalle]

Haha, so much for the theories that V's mate could hold off the dragon...

[Hyozo]

So much for the theory that V's mate is a druid...

[Darkfalle]

Also very true. I was hopeful while it lasted, but wasn't really expecting V's mate to be an adventurer.

[Fargo1168]

Well, now that that theory has been blown out of the water...

[Haven]

"Apprentice" baker? Is V robbin' the cradle? Or is the apprenticeship for bakers even more strenuous than for wizards?

[Mauve Shirt]

Yikes.
V still insists that magic is the only way to solve his problem. Then again, at this point, it is.
I actually smiled at the punchline this time though. :smallamused:

[Assassin89]

Looks like V's mate has ranks in profession(baker).

Very funny three time repeat of the same lines.

The next question that emerges is what does V plan to do next.

[Shadowbane]

Wow, some great lines in this comic. I'm pretty worried about the mate still, but I'm beginning to think that maybe, just maybe V will be able to save his family.

Good luck, V.

[Traker]

I wish V mate was a Druid.

[Guts]

Appentice baker? I wonder if V's mate is younger than it is or didnt start early in life to choose a career?

[MammonAzrael]

Very nice. Though I do wish there was more action. I'm just eager to see what happens! Lets see another rapidfire comic up tomorrow! :smallbiggrin:

[Lerky]

WOOO!
Three cheers for hopelessness!
Hip Hip Hooray
Hip Hip Horray
Hip Hip *notices no one else cheering* hoo...ray?

[Shadic]

Hrm... What to do, what to do..

[The Neoclassic]

I'm glad we found out the occupation of V's mate! Apprentice baker = awesome. Also, the imp referring to V's mate as a "she" kept up the proper level of gender confusion. :smalltongue:

[PostMortem]

I love the latest story line! These have been some of the best OOTS comics in awhile.

AHHH! I just realized that perhaps V's mate stands a chance if he/she is familiar with how to bake "Dwarf Battle Bread (http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Dwarf_Bread)" from the Discworld Universe.... If not then I would say V's mate is in deep doo-doo.

[dogmac]

I wonder how long an elvan apprenticeship lasts.

But you never know, maybe the dragon has an allergy to banana muffins.

[ladysekhmetka]

>.< Quit squabbling with the imp V and come up with a plan. Time's a wasting

[Lira]

A baker? Oh dear. :smalltongue: But I'm feeling more hopeful now that this situation won't end as badly as I worried before. Great strip.

[Lupy]

My mate is an apprentice baker you moron!

:smallbiggrin:

Only Rich could make us laugh in the face of such a terrible event.

[Falconer]

Either V's mate is a very slow learner, or elvish bakers are expected to be able to make some truly fine cuisine.


I have no idea who's side I'm on here: the dragon, or V & family...

[Cúchulainn]

"What a tweest!"

I lol'd.

[Balkash]

Oh V. silly elf

[SPoD]

Vaarsuvius was an apprentice up until a short time before the comic began, according to OtOPCs, so it's not that much of an age difference.


Also, the imp referring to V's mate as a "she" kept up the proper level of gender confusion. :smalltongue:

I'm pretty sure the "she" in question is the dragon mother. It is the dragon that he would be attempting to race there.

[Kroy]

Really nice comic, giant! A Baker!

[SteveMB]

Yikes.
V still insists that magic is the only way to solve his problem. Then again, at this point, it is.

Also, asking the imp to find Haley isn't on the list of possibilities -- yes, the same objection (Haley has no way to get there in time) applies, but I suspect that it's also that V is still determined to solve that problem h**self.

[Assassin89]

I wonder if the baker part is poking fun at someone else...

[DanielX]

Actually, if V's mate would believe the message, then the Imp warning her could be of use - not in defeating the dragon, but taking the kids, running away, and hiding (if there is still time).

That won't help forever (the dragon can attempt to track them down... or decide to wait a few decades, dragons do have plenty of time on their hands to plot revenge, and V and his family won't die of natural causes either over that timeframe), but the dragon can, perhaps, be thwarted long enough for V to think of something else.

The other option is for the Imp to teleport into a shop or something with a scroll or five of teleportation, teleport back to V, and they can use those. For that matter, it may be possible - I don't know the rules - to also revive the Imp's Pit Fiend buddy and teleport V, Imp, and Pit Fiend over and have an epic Dragon vs. Pit Fiend + Elf Wizard fight. Granted, I doubt Pit Fiend likes V very much...).

Even less realistic Option 3: question - how good is the Imp's teleport ability? Can it teleport into a confined, potentially hazardous area and out of it very fast? If so, all you need are 40-45 lbs of high explosive with a timed detonator (or magical equivalent thereof - again, this involves the Imp raiding a shop, or possibly V can provide money), and the Imp can rapidly teleport inside the dragon's stomach, teleport out (sans explosives), and - BOOM! That should be enough to give even an enormous dragon one hell of a stomachache, at minimum. Of course, Imp may not want to risk being unable to teleport out... and of course, its rather impractical.

[Zevox]

Well, so much for the idea that Quarr was actually telling the truth about being a decent Sorcerer. If he's teleporting from a house-ruled racial ability like that, odds are that even if he has levels in Sorcerer, they're not very impressive. At best he's high single-digits in level.

Which means the only viable options for V to save her family that our speculation came up with just flew out the window.

...please, Giant, don't kill them... :smallfrown:

Zevox

[xyzzy]

Maybe V's mate will bring scones. (http://xkcd.com/452/)

I absolutely loved the punchline. Genius.

[Calintares]

And even V's master is androgynous. Does she belong to some weird subrace of elves that are all androgynous?

[enarch3t]

Even less realistic Option 3: question - how good is the Imp's teleport ability? Can it teleport into a confined, potentially hazardous area and out of it very fast? If so, all you need are 40-45 lbs of high explosive with a timed detonator (or magical equivalent thereof - again, this involves the Imp raiding a shop, or possibly V can provide money), and the Imp can rapidly teleport inside the dragon's stomach, teleport out (sans explosives), and - BOOM! That should be enough to give even an enormous dragon one hell of a stomachache, at minimum. Of course, Imp may not want to risk being unable to teleport out... and of course, its rather impractical.

If V prepared enough explosive runes and some way of having them read . . .

[Ron Miel]

V has spent the last few months obsessing about contacting Haley. Why on Earth DIDN'T he prepare sending this morning?

[Silverraptor]

Alright Rich! You never let us down! 1 comic very dark and scary. Next, very comical to keep us hooked. I loved the part that whereever the imp went, the words "Hello? I have a message for... AHHHHH!". I particularly enjoyed that on the issue that I hate the imp, Qarr. Anyways V, whatever u do, make sure to magic up with those right 4 words, to the right being, at the right time, for all those wrong reasons. And kick that dragons ass!

[SPoD]

V has spent the last few months obsessing about contacting Haley. Why on Earth DIDN'T he prepare sending this morning?

Because Sending didn't work, and hasn't worked for months. Why prepare a spell that you KNOW doesn't work for the purpose you have and that you have no other projected use for?

[Ron Miel]

"What a tweest!"

I lol'd.

What is the reference?

[ladysekhmetka]

>.< Quit squabbling with the imp V and come up with a plan. Time's a wasting

[Larspcus2]

If V prepared enough explosive runes and some way of having them read . . .

Or the DM/God in the OOTS world allows the "Intentionally fail a dispel magic check" trick

[Aethir]

Outstanding comic. Love the ideas, and the view of V's master that we get.

[Hatu]

I know it's traditional to allow characters to get long speeches in without actually using up time, but I'm not pleased to see absolutely nothing actually happen in this strip.

-H

[jamroar]

What is the reference?

It refers to M. Night Shyamalan's predilection for dramatic twists in his movies, and is a running joke on Robot Chicken sketches.

[Warlord JK]

Why doesn't V just have the imp teleport and then summon some demons to hold off the dragon while he figures out how to get V there. Someone should look up what demons an imp has a chance of summoning.

[SPoD]

Why doesn't V just have the imp teleport and then summon some demons to hold off the dragon while he figures out how to get V there. Someone should look up what demons an imp has a chance of summoning.

Imps have no chance of summoning devils (much less demons) at all.

The previous summoning was a one-time-only deal as a result of an old poker marker, it can't be repeated. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the dialogue back in that comic explaining that it was a one-time marker was there specifically to head off this argument later.

[Jammeez]

Hello? I have a message here for -- AAAAH!!!


:smalltongue:

[Cúchulainn]

On a completely different line of thought how can a pink haired elf wizard look so badass in a gag sketch? I want to start a fan club for him.

[Silverraptor]

On a completely different line of thought how can a pink haired elf wizard look so badass in a gag sketch? I want to start a fan club for him.

Could I join?:smallwink:

[MReav]

Here's one possibility to save the family:


Have the Imp take a Bag of Holding. Teleport to V's family. Charm V's family into getting into the Bag. Teleport to V. Profit!

[Doc Roc]

Laughed so hard I choked.

I am yet again reminded that Rich is an incredibly steady and excellent writer.

[Aquillion]

A very simple solution:

Ask the imp to fetch a scroll of Sending. They're not too expensive. Then V can use the scroll to contact Aarindarius directly.

There's lots of other solutions, too, of course, but that would use abilities V directly touched on in the comic.

[Illven]

On a completely different line of thought how can a pink haired elf wizard look so badass in a gag sketch? I want to start a fan club for him.

Here Here I nomiante you preisdent

[datalaughing]

Here's one possibility to save the family:


Have the Imp take a Bag of Holding. Teleport to V's family. Charm V's family into getting into the Bag. Teleport to V. Profit!

Even if that could work, back to V would be the worst possible place to take them. The dragon knows that V is the only one who knows about her plan. So if the family suddenly disappears, where do you think she'll head first?

Also, V seems a little harsh in regards to his/her mate. Maybe it's just because s/he is so freaked out right now, but when talking about how useless the Baker would be in battle against a dragon, it came off as kind of cruel I thought. As someone pointed out, there are things a baker could do, run, call for help, but V is just like, "My mate is a baker. S/he's useless!"

[Warren Dew]

Actually, if V's mate would believe the message, then the Imp warning her could be of use - not in defeating the dragon, but taking the kids, running away, and hiding (if there is still time).

Or the imp might warn the kids directly; they might not have the same negative reaction to an imp that's kind of cute.

[Fjolnir]

And even V's master is androgynous. Does she belong to some weird subrace of elves that are all androgynous?

Yes, the subrace is called "elves in OOTS" and includes all elves in this world

[Elfey]

Anyone else now considering the implications of long baking apprenticeships for elves?

Either they are really, really good bakers with high standards.

Or... /shudder. The worst bakers in the universe who take a hundred years to be competent.

Course it's also possible V's mate is the domestic one that's been taking care of the kinder since they were weened and just recently got to start apprenticing again.

[HOLEkevin]

Hunh. I'd have thought demons would be good at sarcasm.

[MReav]

Even if that could work, back to V would be the worst possible place to take them. The dragon knows that V is the only one who knows about her plan. So if the family suddenly disappears, where do you think she'll head first?


Fine, bring the family to Aarindarius' place. Point is, somewhere that isn't the house.

[Adventurer]

No Story Progress + No jokes = A very disappointing comic. Hopefully something will happen in the next one.

Also, V seems a little harsh in regards to his/her mate. Maybe it's just because s/he is so freaked out right now, but when talking about how useless the Baker would be in battle against a dragon, it came off as kind of cruel I thought. As someone pointed out, there are things a baker could do, run, call for help, but V is just like, "My mate is a baker. S/he's useless!"
I don't think he was being cruel, just realistic and, as a result, awfully concerned. I don't think V's mate could hide for long, and anyone around would probably be unable to fend off an Ancient Black Dragon.

[Elfey]

Yes, the subrace is called "elves in OOTS" and includes all elves in this world

Well not all. There are some busty elves. But The Giant has decided to toy with us on this.

[Scarlet Knight]

Good to see that the comedy is back!

So, the house spouse is a baker. Well, there's no way out now...unless...

Children:<Parent! A dragon! We're doomed!>
House Spouse: < Not so! I've just taken out a batch of fruit pies, which just so happen, to be sorcerers!>
Dragon: Mmmm. Any blackberry?
:smallsmile:

[Quorothorn]

Ah, a breath-catcher strip, it seems. Good.

[xyzzy]

Yes, the subrace is called "elves in OOTS" and includes all elves in this world

*cough* Lirian. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0276.html)

[kreszantas]

Typically yes... everyone shoots the "BAD" messager or message :smallfrown: So V is pretty much left to having no reason to return to the elven homelands... unless V wants to find a certain dragon V will need to get up to speed on planar travel.

[Ellen]

Options -

1. The imp can teleport out one child, then go back and teleport out another (and hope the dragon is too busy chasing them to go after V's mate).

2. The imp can teleport in BELKAR (doesn't he weigh 40 pounds with most of that in his head?).

3. Teleport in Belkar to fight the dragon, then get the kids out.

Although I'm betting the Giant goes with 4. None of the above.

Let's see,

Nale wouldn't kill an imp on sight, I suppose. But, even if Sabine can get him there in time, I can't think of a sale pitch that would get him to rescue V's family (yes, V could offer to sell out Elan but, even if Nale took him up on it, the negotiations would take how much time?).

Redcloak wouldn't kill an imp on sight, but I can't even think of what V has to offer.

Oh, wait. He probably has some idea where the gates are.

Or could credibly pretend to know.

Or could credibly offer to get that information by going back to the fleet.

Uh-oh.

[Quorothorn]

No Story Progress + No jokes = A very disappointing comic. Hopefully something will happen in the next one.

No jokes? :smallconfused: Were we reading the same comic?

[Alysar]

And even V's master is androgynous. Does she belong to some weird subrace of elves that are all androgynous?

... :smalleek:

Holy crap! You just ended the V gender debates!

[Trizap]

uh oh...............

I think I know who V is going to send Quarr to.


Its the right being, at the right time, for all the wrong reasons.

I know the four words

"Quarr, Teleport to Xykon"

[Alysar]

2. The imp can teleport in BELKAR (doesn't he weigh 40 pounds with most of that in his head?).



50 pounds unliving matter

[bluedolphin359]

This totally caught me by surprise. I really hope that V finds a way to save hir family. I also hope that there's another comic tomorrow. :smallwink:


The imp can teleport in BELKAR

Best. Idea. Ever.

[Yendor]

50 pounds unliving matter

So kill him. Problem solved!

[Raging Gene Ray]

50 pounds unliving matter

Do undead count? I got it:

Spoiler'd for Speculation (It's actually plausible this time, I swear!)

V asks to be killed and lichified, jettisons all those heavy internal organs weighing hir down, and is now able to hitch a ride on Qarr's teleport. V's mate is safe...but is now married to an undead abomination.

[Gilby]

uh oh...............

I think I know who V is going to send Quarr to.


Its the right being, at the right time, for all the wrong reasons.

I know the four words

"Quarr, Teleport to Xykon"

I was thinking about that Xykon thing too. Xykon might like toying with a dragon and Xy is probably powerful enough to do it.

Another note, when a momma's kids are in danger that momma is VERY dangerous.

Funny how V was insisting that a baker could do nothing. V believes arcane arts are the only way of strength. Maybe the mate is capable of doing something that will make V question his/her adventure path choice and were true strength lies??

[Zevox]

A very simple solution:

Ask the imp to fetch a scroll of Sending. They're not too expensive. Then V can use the scroll to contact Aarindarius directly.
Wouldn't work. Sending has a 10 minute casting time (remember when Cleric of Loki was using it?). The Dragon said that her meal, even going slowly, would only take a few minutes (and considering her size vs that of V's family, I'm inclined to believe her). Sending, therefor, isn't an option.

Zevox

[pearl jam]

Do undead count? I got it:

Spoiler'd for Speculation (It's actually plausible this time, I swear!)

V asks to be killed and lichified, jettisons all those heavy internal organs weighing hir down, and is now able to hitch a ride on Qarr's teleport. V's mate is safe...but is now married to an undead abomination.

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that this would take more time than V would be afforded in this situation. :smalltongue:

[PhantomFox]

Any chance on V's mate talking her way out of it?

Some ranks in diplomacy perhaps?

[Knaight]

Wouldn't work. Sending has a 10 minute casting time (remember when Cleric of Loki was using it?). The Dragon said that her meal, even going slowly, would only take a few minutes (and considering her size vs that of V's family, I'm inclined to believe her). Sending, therefor, isn't an option.

Zevox

As a scroll is shortened though. And the asking Xykon for help makes sense too.

[Gamiress]

If it comes down to bloodshed, V's mate is probably toast.

The kids? Yeah, like he'd really do it. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LikeYouWouldReallyDoIt) This is still a PG comic.

[Ozymandias9]

Well, so much for the idea that Quarr was actually telling the truth about being a decent Sorcerer. If he's teleporting from a house-ruled racial ability like that, odds are that even if he has levels in Sorcerer, they're not very impressive. At best he's high single-digits in level.

If you had a racial teleport, would you bother wasting a sorcerer spell-known slot on the spell list version?

[Quorothorn]

If it comes down to bloodshed, V's mate is probably toast.

The kids? Yeah, like he'd really do it. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LikeYouWouldReallyDoIt) This is still a PG comic.

*Facepalm.* The Giant's shown the murder of children before, you know. Read Start of Darkness.

[xyzzy]

Do undead count? I got it:

Spoiler'd for Speculation (It's actually plausible this time, I swear!)

V asks to be killed and lichified, jettisons all those heavy internal organs weighing hir down, and is now able to hitch a ride on Qarr's teleport. V's mate is safe...but is now married to an undead abomination.

I can't look up the exact time necessary since I don't have my copy of SoD on hand, but Xykon's lichification took a very long time. V doesn't have the time.

[Calintares]

uh oh...............

I think I know who V is going to send Quarr to.


Its the right being, at the right time, for all the wrong reasons.

I know the four words

"Quarr, Teleport to Xykon"

It won't work, the cloister spell blocks teleportation

[Gamiress]

*Facepalm.* The Giant's shown the murder of children before, you know. Read Start of Darkness.

I would liken Start of Darkness to the extra scenes in a directors cut - you can get away with more. I really don't think Rich would put that level of carnage in the main comic.

[Raging Gene Ray]

Xykon's lichification took a very long time. V doesn't have the time.

...maybe V and Qarr could cut a few corners?

Qarr: There, quick and dirty lichdom. No stat bonuses, no spell resistance...in fact, you might just disintegrate in about a week. But what's important is you're undead now.

[Scion_of_Darkness]

Bwa ha ha ha! An apprentice baker! That's great!

Thank you Rich for not making a one two-shot NPC amazingly powerful.

[David Argall]

Here's one possibility to save the family:


Have the Imp take a Bag of Holding. Teleport to V's family. Charm V's family into getting into the Bag. Teleport to V. Profit!
Well, it's not totally impossible, tho there are several ways it could fail.



"Apprentice" baker? Is V robbin' the cradle? Or is the apprenticeship for bakers even more strenuous than for wizards?
Welly he/she should be a journeyman/woman, but that may be the problem. The promotion may make sex definite.

[Vugor]

maybe the mate is just recently (last few years) being baking......

darn it, don't kill them rich..........so cute.........

[Alysar]

If it comes down to bloodshed, V's mate is probably toast.

The kids? Yeah, like he'd really do it. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LikeYouWouldReallyDoIt) This is still a PG comic.

I think Rich would do it, but I don't believe he'd show it in-panel. At least not on the website, maybe as a bonus strip in the eventual book.

[Chas the mage]

Maybe v's mate is an apprentice wizard specializing in the spell school of bakery! with spell schools like... uhh... bannana nut muffin missile? Bigbies tripping danish? Detect delicious? Baking soda splash? Ray of Frosting?

[Leper Master]

Whats this!?!
A race against time!?!

'Cue's mission impossible music'

[Starwaster]

Very nice Rich, but I suggest that in panel 10, it should have been <AAAAH!>*


*Translated from Elven

[St.Sinner]

Wow, apprentice baker married to power-craving knowledge-thirsty wizard. Ain't love sweet?

[kusje]

I don't get it. How is the imp supposed to catch up with the dragon who already has a head start on him? She said she was going STRAIGHT to V's house to eat his children so I doubt any of these plans to bring V there is going to help (even if V could fight the dragon).

Now on the assumption that the imp could arrive there before the dragon, he could kill the baker and the 2 children, and destroy their bodies (in a fire?) so soul bind wouldn't work.

[oowatie]

"Hello? I have a message here for- AAAH!"

Absolutely priceless. I love this comic. :smallsmile:

[danelsan]

Hmm...perhaps a baker would have a doily (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0033.html) somewhere in the kitchen? :smalltongue:

[Aquillion]

Wouldn't work. Sending has a 10 minute casting time (remember when Cleric of Loki was using it?). The Dragon said that her meal, even going slowly, would only take a few minutes (and considering her size vs that of V's family, I'm inclined to believe her). Sending, therefor, isn't an option.Nope. Spell-completion items, like scrolls, always take exactly one round to activate (~6 seconds), regardless of the usual casting time for the spell written on them.

[StClair]

"What a tweest!"

I lol'd.

As did I. Who said this installment had no joke?

[Fishman]

>.< Quit squabbling with the imp V and come up with a plan. Time's a wastingTalking is a free action, remember?

[BlueElk]

Great storyline! I would have lol'd but I'm at work, so..

Kind of like the idea of begging Xykon to help to save the family. Although I doubt that would connect with the 4 words of power, since a plea for help would be for all the right reasons, I think. And that cloister-thingy could have worn off by now, right? Maybe the Xy forgot to re-cast it.

[Lunaya]

"Apprentice" baker? Is V robbin' the cradle? Or is the apprenticeship for bakers even more strenuous than for wizards?

Ever watched Hell's Kitchen? The culinary world is brutal. :smalleek:

[SandyCaesar]

Punchline = awesome. <img> http://www.giantitp.com/forums/images/smilies/smallstick/smallsmile.gif</img>

It seems like anyone who Vaarsuvius talks to instantly loses the ability to comprehend sarcasm--well, Elan's learned it eventually. Hmm...

[orrion]

Veiled Lord of the Rings references are always win.

So.. the imp can transport unliving materiel? Hm.

[Selene]

V's mate is going to invite Mama Dragon to tea, and they'll discuss a way to get a true resurrection for Dragon Boy. I hope. :smalleek:

[ABB]

Either V's mate is a very slow learner, or elvish bakers are expected to be able to make some truly fine cuisine.


I have no idea who's side I'm on here: the dragon, or V & family...

Perhaps the mate put it's career on hold a while to raise the kids while V went off adventurin', you know.

Raising children might not offer the same chances for XP accumulation and leveling up as V's path does.

As to the imp, one thing I see: The imp teleports to casa V and casts invisibility on the mate and kids, assuming it's inviso power is a spell it can cast on others. Mama dragon assumes V did something and goes back to the oracle. Meanwhile the mate takes the kids to V's magic college for protection.

[Rabidferret]

I kind of like the idea of V's master intervening. Is there a way for a high-level wizard to circumvent the antimagic field?

[daggaz]

Spell: Teleport
Duration: Instantaneous

Emphasis, Mine.

It is too late, the dragon is already there, she was at the cottage the moment she popped out of V's sight. How long, protective wards or not, do you think it will take an Ancient Black Dragon to enter the cottage, kill or scare off the baker, and devour the children?

I am surprised V is even planning, instead of accepting the horrible yet irrefutably logical conclusion.

[daggaz]

Talking is a free action, remember?

Read your DMG again. Talking briefly is a free action, giving oratory speeches is not. Spending time thinking up a solution to a complex situation is going to take, realistically, a lot more than 0-6 seconds. Its DM discretion.

I had a player once who continued to argue with me about this despite the page opened under his nose. I TIMED him trying to speak out his plan (giving him the grace of not even including the thinking time he had used coming up with it), and stuck him with that. Turned out to be twice as long as my original ruling.

[Faltenin]

The dragon still feels like a draconis ex machina to me... I'm sure that if someone who had done sufficient research on V had the power to craft an elaborate illusion, not sleeping or trancing for weeks would significantly lower his/her saving throw...

And getting V to panic and give up on his own magic would have been the only way to seal a pact. Especially if Quark can teleport out and back, and say "all is solved".

[Suedars]

Spell: Teleport
Duration: Instantaneous

Emphasis, Mine.

It is too late, the dragon is already there, she was at the cottage the moment she popped out of V's sight. How long, protective wards or not, do you think it will take an Ancient Black Dragon to enter the cottage, kill or scare off the baker, and devour the children?

I am surprised V is even planning, instead of accepting the horrible yet irrefutably logical conclusion.

Assuming that the dragon has thoroughly prepared for this and carefully studied V's residence, there's still a 5% chance of her missing completely. If she's only seen it once there's a 20% chance of failure, so V possibly still has time to do something. While it might not be likely, V might as well hope and plan for the spell to miss its target, just in the off chance that (s)he does have a 5-20% chance to save h** young.

[pearl jam]

Perhaps the mate put it's career on hold a while to raise the kids while V went off adventurin', you know.

Raising children might not offer the same chances for XP accumulation and leveling up as V's path does.

As to the imp, one thing I see: The imp teleports to casa V and casts invisibility on the mate and kids, assuming it's inviso power is a spell it can cast on others. Mama dragon assumes V did something and goes back to the oracle. Meanwhile the mate takes the kids to V's magic college for protection.

The dragon could probably cast See Invisibililty or True Vision. If not, it probably has a decent listen check probability, and should have some kind of scenting check probability, so being invisible would probably be a temporary deterrent at best.

[Enlong]

The dragon still feels like a draconis ex machina to me... I'm sure that if someone who had done sufficient research on V had the power to craft an elaborate illusion, not sleeping or trancing for weeks would significantly lower his/her saving throw...

And getting V to panic and give up on his own magic would have been the only way to seal a pact. Especially if Quark can teleport out and back, and say "all is solved".

Can't. There's only one illusion capable of casting spells: Project Image. Project Image is not solid, so it couldn't pin V, and would obviously vanish if it tried to put up an AMF.

[isocum]

Wouldn't work. Sending has a 10 minute casting time (remember when Cleric of Loki was using it?). The Dragon said that her meal, even going slowly, would only take a few minutes (and considering her size vs that of V's family, I'm inclined to believe her). Sending, therefor, isn't an option.

Zevox

scroll sending is way faster than regular sending. you can use one after another, with no delay, as nale did in strip 337 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0337.html).

[silvadel]

If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake... baked a cake ...

[onigame]

So, is an Apprentice Baker ranked higher or lower than a Keith Baker?

Seems like there should be some way for V to craft a message using 50 pounds of unliving material that Qarr can bring to Aarindarius. Sure, Qarr will be instantly disintegrated, but then he'll see the message carved on the 50-pound rock in a language that only V and A know.

Of course, maybe that would be too easy...

[Suedars]

So, is an Apprentice Baker ranked higher or lower than a Keith Baker?

Seems like there should be some way for V to craft a message using 50 pounds of unliving material that Qarr can bring to Aarindarius. Sure, Qarr will be instantly disintegrated, but then he'll see the message carved on the 50-pound rock in a language that only V and A know.

Of course, maybe that would be too easy...

There is the question of why Qarr would willingly go along with a plot that would result in his death.

[RMS Oceanic]

Guys, don't worry. If (s)he's a student of Gordon Ramsay, maybe (s)he'll stand a chance!

Good comic, and I'm still on tenderhooks for the next one.

[Eraniverse]

Kill the kids. Teleport bodies to Durkon and begin fast talking as you're suddenly an imp surrounded by paladins atop the corpses of two murdered children.

[vegetalss4]

So, is an Apprentice Baker ranked higher or lower than a Keith Baker?


lower, far lower.

on an completely differen't note, i liked this comic

[Soulus101]

Still waiting for the four right words, at the right time, to the right being, for all the wrong reasons... I get the feeling that the time is coming...

[Jade_Tarem]

Spell: Teleport
Duration: Instantaneous

Emphasis, Mine.

It is too late, the dragon is already there, she was at the cottage the moment she popped out of V's sight. How long, protective wards or not, do you think it will take an Ancient Black Dragon to enter the cottage, kill or scare off the baker, and devour the children?

I am surprised V is even planning, instead of accepting the horrible yet irrefutably logical conclusion.

The dragon is actively casting a spell. To that end, it needs to emerge from the teleport to a place that it's familiar enough with not to screw it up. While it's possible that the dragon is now familiar enough with V's home to teleport straight there, it's a bit more likely that she'll teleport to some aerial landmark nearby, cast invisibility so that she can get there undetected (remember, the dragon will be flying over elven territory, all it takes is one panicked message from a junior mage somewhere and high level wizards appear to cause trouble), and then make her approach with draconic flight. This will likely take a few rounds, but the dragon almost certainly knows that V can't teleport and probably hasn't anticipated Qarr's help, and so won't be in a total hurry. Meanwhile, Qarr is probably using Teleport Without Error - a special ability reserved for outsiders that allows him to pop about despite not having a great familiarity with the target destination. V may have a few rounds to try something.

Also, undead do not count as "equipment" for the purposes of Teleport Without Error. Dead bodies do, but I don't think that helps V right now...

...unless both children together weigh less than fifty pounds. Qarr could kill them both, stash them somewhere, and then bring them to the resurrection party when Roy finally rejoins the group. It's horrible and depraved, but better than letting the dragon get them.

[Aquillion]

The dragon still feels like a draconis ex machina to me... I'm sure that if someone who had done sufficient research on V had the power to craft an elaborate illusion, not sleeping or trancing for weeks would significantly lower his/her saving throw...

And getting V to panic and give up on his own magic would have been the only way to seal a pact. Especially if Quark can teleport out and back, and say "all is solved".Yeah, it's too pat. Feels like a setup. Still, the AMF has to have been real, and V was definitely actually pinned. Those are hard to fake. And the AMF would've removed most forms of magical deception or shape-changing.

[Rabidferret]

Qarr could kill them both, stash them somewhere, and then bring them to the resurrection party when Roy finally rejoins the group. It's horrible and depraved, but better than letting the dragon get them.

Wow, just wow. I'd never have considered this, although it makes a certain amount of sense (better to keep their souls resurrectable than to let the dragon soul gem them).

Guess I'm not very good at roleplaying evil problem-solving.

[kusje]

Kill the kids. Teleport bodies to Durkon and begin fast talking as you're suddenly an imp surrounded by paladins atop the corpses of two murdered children.

Already mentioned something similar in post #91!

And oh, the dragon mentioned that she would "teleport directly there" so the landmark thing fails.

[John Campbell]

ahHA! The solution is clear!

V's mate can defeat the dragon by baking HOSTESS FRUIT PIES! Not even an ancient black dragon can resist their light, flaky crust and tasty real fruit filling!

[Rabidferret]

ahHA! The solution is clear!

V's mate can defeat the dragon by baking HOSTESS FRUIT PIES! Not even an ancient black dragon can resist their light, flaky crust and tasty real fruit filling!

I regret nothing... (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0091.html)

[Taekwondodo]

Mmmmmm... banana nut muffin...

I'm going out, does anyone else want one?:smallbiggrin:

[Cúchulainn]

First of all, no parent is going to send someone to kill their kids so they can be resurrected later, are you all insane? Half of you are making jokes about pastry and the rest of you are thinking up ways to make evil outsiders able to transport dead people, geez...

Second of all the dragon cast GREATER teleport. No chance of ending up in the wrong place, if the dragon didn't have a decent description of the place it was going it would have popped back already meaning at this very moment the dragon is staring down an elven baker and two of his little muffins.

[Wootles]

The dragon eats V's mate along with some banana nut muffins he was baking. (Un)fortunately, the black dragon has some nasty nut allergy and horribly chokes to death, being unable to lay a hand on V's kiddos. True story! :smallbiggrin:

[kusje]

First of all, no parent is going to send someone to kill their kids so they can be resurrected later, are you all insane? Half of you are making jokes about pastry and the rest of you are thinking up ways to make evil outsiders able to transport dead people, geez...


Why not? If I had a kid and it was the only way to save his soul, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

[factotum]

Assuming that the dragon has thoroughly prepared for this and carefully studied V's residence, there's still a 5% chance of her missing completely. If she's only seen it once there's a 20% chance of failure, so V possibly still has time to do something.

Actually, no. The dragon used Greater Teleport, not plain old Teleport, and Greater Teleport has no chance of missing. There is still the point that the dragon might want to teleport to a nearby safe location, turn invisible, THEN fly to V's house, as already suggested; realistically, that's the only way V is going to get any time to respond at all.

[Ikialev]

...a baker.
homosexually-green-haired baker. [I can say it? ._.]

...at least this Aarindarius looks like a man.

[kusje]

Actually, no. The dragon used Greater Teleport, not plain old Teleport, and Greater Teleport has no chance of missing. There is still the point that the dragon might want to teleport to a nearby safe location, turn invisible, THEN fly to V's house, as already suggested; realistically, that's the only way V is going to get any time to respond at all.

She already said she would teleport there directly!

[Fingolfin]

Haha, I loved the title of the comic "Shoot the messanger" :smallsmile:
Otherwise, nice comic, V's still seems a bit too calm for my tasting, but ok.

[Firemage]

Seriously, I have no idea, how V could save his family now. As stated in the comic, the ones, who would be powerful enough and willing to help won't listen to an imp.
Maybe the Linear Guild :nale::sabine::thog: could be persuaded/tricked. But that's a BIG maybe.
Besides of them only Qarrs demonic friends could be of any help.

So since V can't prevent the murder of his family, he should concentrate on ressurrection. And for that he would need to hunt down Momma Dragon. I'm sure if she can "leave this plane of existance", presumably with the soul gems, V can as well. And I'm sure the Oracle would tell him how, if there's enough money involved.
However this all needs time, time the world as a whole doesn't have.
As hard as it is: V can't do much, and saving the world has priority.


But DAMN, if V already couldn't trance, because he couldn't save some nameless soldiers...

[Iker the Blue]

Does V happen to have any Stone to Flesh-scrolls in hir posession?

Great comic :smallsmile:

[Veral]

Half of you are making jokes about pastry and the rest of you are thinking up ways to make evil outsiders able to transport dead people, geez...



You favour maybe a 60/40 balance?

[Deatheater]

Since we've established Mamma Dragon can't miss her teleport stop, here's hoping, while she was roughing up V, V's mate remembered an urgent errand (out of flour?)and took the kids with.

That would buy some time...

[Trixie]

Fine, bring the family to Aarindarius' place. Point is, somewhere that isn't the house.

Like, say, Nine Hells? :smallamused:

What would keep Quarr from taking V's family there and blackmailing V into obedience? :smallwink:

On the other hand - I'm suprised that V married someone so useless from V's point of view.

[RMS Oceanic]

I've just come up with an amusing Deus Ex Machina to save V's family:

What if Aarandarius happened to be visiting? Then we could get an epic magic duel.

[Snake-Aes]

Like, say, Nine Hells? :smallamused:

What would keep Quarr from taking V's family there and blackmailing V into obedience? :smallwink:

On the other hand - I'm suprised that V married someone so useless from V's point of view.

Why useless?
Remember "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"?

"He makes me laugh"

[banjo1985]

Well, it's nice to see V worried for a change, maybe this will stop the elf from being such an arrogant so and so.

[pnewman]

Seriously, I have no idea, how V could save his family now. As stated in the comic, the ones, who would be powerful enough and willing to help won't listen to an imp.

The Linear Guild would listen to an imp. The Guild is purportedly roughly equal in power to the Order. The dragon was reluctant to attack V when she was on the boats because the order would be too dangerous (even minus Roy, Haley, and Belkar and plus two Paladins that are lower level than the missing three). Therefore the Guild would be dangerous to the dragon. Sabine can teleport in to the elven homelands.

The question is what could V have the Imp offer them to get them to fight the dragon. How does "Aid me and I will join you. I can help you kill Elan and the others. I know you need an arcane caster. I know where the other gates are. What can be more opposite to the Order than a former member of the Order?"

Nale would totally go for this.

[Bouregard]

it's not that he drago would tleeport to V's familiy and instantly roast and devour them. I mean, this dragonlady worked a long time on her plan to take revenge, I guess she would teleport there, explain the problem to then, maybe slowy let them watch how she devours the first kid or anything. it's not that two rounds after teleport the dragon wins. And maybe she hopes that V thinks of a solution, get there and maybe could watch the dragon eating the family. Time is short but it's not impossible.

[Prak]

Either V's mate is a very slow learner, or elvish bakers are expected to be able to make some truly fine cuisine.


I have no idea who's side I'm on here: the dragon, or V & family...

Compared to a exquisite meal, or just the bread of such a meal, and serving said meal perfectly, bending the laws of reality to your will is truely child's play.

See? There's a child right over there playing with granite as if it were playdoh.

The imp can also change form.

An imp can assume another form at will as a standard action. Each imp can assume one or two forms from the following list: Small or Medium monstrous spider, raven, rat, and boar.
V's familiar was a raven, hir mate might know this. Qarr could, conceivably, turn into a raven, teleport to the homeland, and warn V's mate.


Have the Imp take a Bag of Holding. Teleport to V's family. Charm V's family into getting into the Bag. Teleport to V. Profit!
that could work actually.


The dragon could probably cast See Invisibililty or True Vision. If not, it probably has a decent listen check probability, and should have some kind of scenting check probability, so being invisible would probably be a temporary deterrent at best.
Actually dragons have Blind sense


First of all, no parent is going to send someone to kill their kids so they can be resurrected later, are you all insane? Half of you are making jokes about pastry and the rest of you are thinking up ways to make evil outsiders able to transport dead people, geez...
I may not actually be a parent, but if it were a choice between loose them forever, and kill them by my own decree so they can be ressurected later, I'd do it.


I've just come up with an amusing Deus Ex Machina to save V's family:

What if Aarandarius happened to be visiting? Then we could get an epic magic duel.
Oh christ... I could see that happening... Or V's mate taking cookies to the Mage school...

[Trixie]

Why useless?
Remember "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"?

"He makes me laugh"

It's just so that V is so... racist?

No, racist isn't the best word, although it is pretty much synonym for any given elf.

Rather... magist? wizardist? spellist? :smallwink:

[Prak]

It's just so that V is so... racist?

No, racist isn't the best word, although it is pretty much synonym for any given elf.

Rather... magist? wizardist? spellist? :smallwink:

the term you're looking for is classist.

[Koshiro]

...unless both children together weigh less than fifty pounds. Qarr could kill them both, stash them somewhere, and then bring them to the resurrection party when Roy finally rejoins the group. It's horrible and depraved, but better than letting the dragon get them.
That's basically what I thought as well, even before Qarr mentioned the specifics of his teleport ability. Now, things have fallen into place so perfectly that I can't see any other conclusion.
Note that Qarr would not even need to carry off their whole bodies. For resurrection, a finger or something would be entirely sufficient.

EDIT: Although, you probably still would need to hide the bodies from the black dragon, so she doesn't get them raised just to kill them.

[pendell]

That last panel? Hilarious. The panel with the imp
teleporting in to see the baker was pretty funny too.

Now *this* is a funny strip. This is why I read OOTS.

Other thoughts ..

.. so now we know there is at least one wizard in the
elven lands capable of helping. And we know V's mate
can't.

And we killed a couple hundred threads of speculation
by revealing that V's mate is a pastry chef. Presumably
a good one.

Prak is right -- V has one hammer -- magic -- that V believes will solve
all problems. And if the tool isn't big enough, V gets
a bigger one. The idea that it might be worthwhile learning how to
use, say, a screwdriver, seems to never occur to V.

No wonder V doesn't lead the party. V is literally a
one -dimensional thinker.

I also note Quarr won't be passing any intelligence tests
anytime soon :).

All in all, a great strip!

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[factotum]

It's just so that V is so... racist?

No, racist isn't the best word, although it is pretty much synonym for any given elf.

Rather... magist? wizardist? spellist? :smallwink:

What does that have to do with it? If V's mate was an adventurer I could see why he might be worried about her class, but since she's a baker I doubt it's ever come up. Besides, V has been a lot worse in the "Magic is everything!" stakes since Azure City--before that he was generally OK with having to party with a bunch of non-wizards in order to get anywhere.

[isocum]

The Linear Guild would listen to an imp. The Guild is purportedly roughly equal in power to the Order. The dragon was reluctant to attack V when she was on the boats because the order would be too dangerous (even minus Roy, Haley, and Belkar and plus two Paladins that are lower level than the missing three). Therefore the Guild would be dangerous to the dragon. Sabine can teleport in to the elven homelands.

The question is what could V have the Imp offer them to get them to fight the dragon. How does "Aid me and I will join you. I can help you kill Elan and the others. I know you need an arcane caster. I know where the other gates are. What can be more opposite to the Order than a former member of the Order?"

Nale would totally go for this.

that makes a lot of sense. although i thought rich said order will be back together after dear prices have been paid? without v, order would not be complete.

[Z-dan]

Time for my two cp :smallbiggrin:
Firstly- great comic, though am going to be constantly refreshing even more for the next one...
And as for how to get out of this one- the idea of going to the guild is good, and is certainly a good set up for getting 'those 4 words'... Also liked the lich idea, but as has been said it would take too long... Personally I reckon that from the master's tower he'd be able to see the dragon pop into existence and be able to at least stall it long enough for the village to be evacuated. And of course there's the possibility that V's mate had adventurer levels before they even got together, and they know that V places so much stock in his own power that it would make V feel inferior if his mate was superior which would potentially cause a marital dispute. So V never got told.
Most likely option: the family's already dead and the dragon's playing with the other villagers.

Also, I'm not a parent but I know that even if my kids were facing a fate worse than death it would still take a lot of persuading for me to accept their deaths would be the best option. It doesn't fill me with confidence that the people that have said otherwise chose to have the black dragon as their avi...

[bogaboga]

The imp can teleport V's kids...

[Firemage]

The Linear Guild would listen to an imp. The Guild is purportedly roughly equal in power to the Order. The dragon was reluctant to attack V when she was on the boats because the order would be too dangerous (even minus Roy, Haley, and Belkar and plus two Paladins that are lower level than the missing three). Therefore the Guild would be dangerous to the dragon. Sabine can teleport in to the elven homelands.

The question is what could V have the Imp offer them to get them to fight the dragon. How does "Aid me and I will join you. I can help you kill Elan and the others. I know you need an arcane caster. I know where the other gates are. What can be more opposite to the Order than a former member of the Order?"

Nale would totally go for this.


Yepp, I speculated about the LG in my spoiler as well. Your scenario sounds plausible too, at least for the Linear Guild. However I don't see V willingly working against his friends yet, especially Haley.

[kusje]

The imp can teleport V's kids...

Maybe one of them... and only if he's dead. The other one is kinda fat.

[tutti]

Possible spoilers, I guess.

What if the dragon doesn't intend to go through with her plan? Instead of killing and soulbinding the children and tailoring the mate, her intentions could have been to merely convince Vaarsuvius this had been done, leaving the poor elf stranded on an island knowing (or "knowing") that all loved ones were dead and unresurrectable. The family, on the other hand, would be perfectly safe, or possibly taken to some undisclosed location Vaarsuvius doesn't know about... trying to resurrect living characters will fail, right? The dragon gets her revenge without having to kill innocents.

[Volkov]

That shoots holes in my younger brother's theory that V's mate is a Warhammer 40k space marine in disguise.

[Snake-Aes]

Possible spoilers, I guess.

What if the dragon doesn't intend to go through with her plan? Instead of killing and soulbinding the children and tailoring the mate, her intentions could have been to merely convince Vaarsuvius this had been done, leaving the poor elf stranded on an island knowing (or "knowing") that all loved ones were dead and unresurrectable. The family, on the other hand, would be perfectly safe, or possibly taken to some undisclosed location Vaarsuvius doesn't know about... trying to resurrect living characters will fail, right? The dragon gets her revenge without having to kill innocents.

Your idea is sound and fine, except:
for the fact we are talking about an evil being. She's got no reason not to carry on with that plan.

[JustRain]

For some reason I think the dragon is the being the oracle mentioned: "How will I achieve complete and total ultimate arcane power?" - "by saying the right four words to the right being at the right time for all the wrong reasons". (strip #331)

I don't know why, I just have this feeling. I think the children will be saved by V telling something to the dragon that will both stop her from killing the kids, give ultimate arcane power to V and, hopefully, make her go back to the party (I really want her to return to them).

[tutti]

Your idea is sound and fine, except:
for the fact we are talking about an evil being. She's got no reason not to carry on with that plan.

Evil is a broad term though, she may well fit within its bounds without having to kill and soulbind children.

[docstrange]

I'm convinced it isn't coincidental that the dragon and the imp showed up at about the same time. This is a great storyline: there is no way the imp could talk V into ANYTHING... but instead V will, by following the logic of the situation as he interprets it, back himself into doing exactly what Qarr (and the dragon) wanted him ot do in the first place.

That said, I have no idea what exactly Qarr is going to get out of him. Again, masterfully done by Qarr and his author!

[Nightfall]

Once again, Master Rich has us laughing in the middle of a desperate situation.

Qarr: "Well, excuse me! I didn't get as good a look at it as you did!"

My chuckle for the day. Thanks, Giant! :smallsmile:

[nleseul]

I'm kind of inclined to think, from a storytelling perspective, that V's way out of this needs to involve accepting that magic and pure intelligence have absolutely no power to help, and that there needs to be an alternative solution.

Something like V appearing before the dragon just in time and saying "Dragon! I was wrong." And then proceeding to bargain for the lives of the kids.

Unfortunately, that particular approach would require V to find a way to get there, which doesn't seem to be presently available.

[Zevox]

Nope. Spell-completion items, like scrolls, always take exactly one round to activate (~6 seconds), regardless of the usual casting time for the spell written on them.
Nope. Basic rule of all magic items: unless the item specifically says otherwise, it takes as long to activate a magic item as the casting time of the spell you're using it for.


Activating a magic item is a standard action unless the item description indicates otherwise. However, the casting time of a spell is the time required to activate the same power in an item, regardless of the type of magic item, unless the item description specifically states otherwise.
Zevox

[Trixie]

I would liken Start of Darkness to the extra scenes in a directors cut - you can get away with more. I really don't think Rich would put that level of carnage in the main comic.

Except he did:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0112.html

There, children dying in a very squicky way.

[Raenir Salazar]

There Is No gap! :D

Hrrm, V's running out of time, and options.

[Aquillion]

Nope. Basic rule of all magic items: unless the item specifically says otherwise, it takes as long to activate a magic item as the casting time of the spell you're using it for.Read a few paragraphs further. Scrolls are spell completion items, and the rules for spell completion items do indeed specifically 'state otherwise' and override the default to give you a standard-action activation time for all scrolls:
Spell Completion

This is the activation method for scrolls. A scroll is a spell that is mostly finished. The preparation is done for the caster, so no preparation time is needed beforehand as with normal spellcasting. All that’s left to do is perform the finishing parts of the spellcasting (the final gestures, words, and so on). To use a spell completion item safely, a character must be of high enough level in the right class to cast the spell already. If he can’t already cast the spell, there’s a chance he’ll make a mistake. Activating a spell completion item is a standard action and provokes attacks of opportunity exactly as casting a spell does.The wording of that paragraph (and the fact that the part you cited was specifically a general rule deliberately-worded to let itself be overriden by the more specific rules for spell-completion items listed further down) makes it completely clear that spell-completion items like scrolls take only six seconds to activate regardless of the spell written on them.

[nybbler]

V's mate is a baker? Boston Cream Pie in the face of the Ancient Black Dragon!

(yes, yes, I know, "What is this 'Boston' you speak of?")

And if you think that's silly, there's also the chance that a certain megacorporation known for its elf bakers is VERY protective of its employees.

[whitelaughter]

Hmm - given that the family is probably already dead, the obvious solution is for Qarr to teleport out the bodies of the children, preventing their souls being trapped. Then V can fly to the fleet to get Durkon to rez them.

Then wonder how to explain to kids that they won't be seeing their apprentice baker parent ever again - no, not even in the afterlife.

[SkredlitheOgre]

I can't believe how awesome this is, with V being pretty much completely powerless. Just...just awesome, Giant!

[One Skunk Todd]

Somehow I think V's mate will survive, because it's a baker and Belkar is a chef and the idea of a scene with the two of them trading cooking tips while V looks on in nauseated disbelief is hysterical. (to me anyway)

Also, I wonder if the dragon has actually left the island. I mean the whole point of this revenge is to cause V to suffer. How much evil pleasure can the dragon get if it doesn't actually watch the suffering? Plus this is the only way I can think of V having enough time to actually do something to save its family.

The (one, anyway) gaping hole in that theory is if the dragon IS watching V then it will see Qarr and V talking, and will teleport away to finish carrying out its plan before they can interfere.

Finally, I wonder if the dragon would take satisfaction in corrupting V into evil even if it didn't otherwise get its revenge.

[B.I.T.T.]

Good comic.

[DigoDragon]

...So now the dragonlady shows up with a megaphone at the cottage, yells "Good Morning Elven Family!", and then sends the family on a week-long trip to DizzyWorld while the dragonlady destroys the house for a home makeover. This should be about when V arrives...

[mec]

What the hell is up with V not using sending? Besides Haley, V has several people to talk to: V's mate and V's master. V should have talked this problem over with V's master months ago.

Maybe V did, and V's master recommended going to a quiet place to do more research.

Ideas:


I thought about the kill-the-children-first idea too. Qarr teleports in, kills the children, cuts the bodies into pieces, and teleports 50 pounds at a time to somewhere else.

Advantages: prevents soul bind if done fast and properly.
Disadvantages: likely to put a strain on V's marriage.
Comedy potential: I can imagine V suggesting this idea and *Qarr* recoiling from it.



Next idea: give Qarr a valuable magic item (such as a ring of wizardry) and have him teleport to the Oracle. Qarr uses the magic item to pay for some very fast prophecy.

Advantages: if there is a way out, the Oracle will know it.
Disadvantages: probably takes so long that the dragon will be finished
Comedy potential: the Oracle is always funny but this seems like a bit of overexposure

[Jigsaw Forte]

Yeah, there will be bodies.

Either Vaarsuvius will reason that it's better for Qaar to pre-emptively kill the kids and bring them back (each kid can't be more than 50 lbs each, especially if they've already crapped themselves, right?) or V is now light enough thanks to vir self-imposed starvation that she can transform into a baelnorn (sp?) to be taken back and do it virself.

[One Skunk Todd]

Oh, I just thought of four words:

I need more time

Likely, others have already thought of this.

[Vectner]

V's mate is a baker? Boston Cream Pie in the face of the Ancient Black Dragon!


Mmmmm Boston Cream Pie . . . . .

Carry on

[Carteeg_Struve]

And even V's master is androgynous. Does she belong to some weird subrace of elves that are all androgynous?


I can imagine a cut scene to one of the elves: :smallwink:

"I was married for 57 years before I realized I was in a homosexual relationship."

[otakuryoga]

:vaarsuvius: my mate is an apprentice baker you moron

dont know if its been said..havent gone through all 6 pages...but....
in the immortal words of steven seagal


I'm just a cook

[kierthos]

I really hope V's family doesn't die.

I mean, sure, it's the Giant's comic, and if he wants V's family to die in order to further the plot, then there's nothing we can say that will stop him.

It just seems sort of pointless to kill them off.

[mcv]

On the other hand - I'm suprised that V married someone so useless from V's point of view.

You sorely underestimate the joy of good food.

[Catskin]

Hilarious ending. I like that V. keeps the sarcastic cool with the fam on the line. Makes me want a banana nut muffin.

[Animefunkmaster]

This strip made me really hungry for muffins.

[Doug Lampert]

The Linear Guild would listen to an imp. The Guild is purportedly roughly equal in power to the Order. The dragon was reluctant to attack V when she was on the boats because the order would be too dangerous (even minus Roy, Haley, and Belkar and plus two Paladins that are lower level than the missing three). Therefore the Guild would be dangerous to the dragon. Sabine can teleport in to the elven homelands.
We've seen Sabine's long distance travel methods (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0365.html).

And even if she could teleport, it would be under the same limits as Quar.

[daggaz]

I can imagine a cut scene to one of the elves: :smallwink:

"I was married for 57 years before I realized I was in a homosexual relationship."

That is absolutely HILLARIOUS!!! =P

[SteveMB]

A thought on the implications of the comment: "If arcane magic cannot solve a problem such as this, then I should never have left my family in order to seek it out... and this would never have happened."

If Vaarsuvius can't salvage the situation, this could either shatter h** worldview -- or set it in stone as a self-defense mechanism (i.e. admitting the possibility that s/he was wrong would open up the floodgates of guilt, therefore, that thought must never be entertained).

The dysfunctional way s/he's been dealing with what happened in Azure City points toward the latter. :smalleek:

[MReav]

Alright, revision: stuff V into the Bag of Holding, teleport to V's Master. Bring the master to the house. Profit.

Of course, this is all contingent on V having the appropriate items.

[KIDS]

Maybe the imp can teleport on the mast of one ship and drop a message for them... they'll think it's gulls s****ing on them ...errr... :)

[Silverraptor]

Oh my GOSH! People, people. Look, we the readers no things that V doesn't. For 1, V has absolutly NO idea where the LG are. All he/she could no is that they died in the explosion of Azure City. Then lets take in the actual facts.

Some of you said that maybe the imp is in league with the dragon. Put it this way, V used "see invisibility" on the imp and that was when the imp knew that V was on to him. So I think that theroy is out.

Of course, Cloister is still in affect for another 2 weeks atleast. My friend and I have been trying to map out how much time has passed and we found it to be nearing the end of summer as well, so tough luck for Belkar.

V is out of high level spells, hasn't tranced, and is under considerable strain here. I'm just going to wait till next comic to see what happens next.

Plus, the reason nothing really happened in this comic but talk is the fact that Rich wants to drag out this story as much as possible. Another thing is he try's to get rid of the most "Obvious" situation.

So, Good luck V!

[Darkhands]

Except he did:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0112.html

There, children dying in a very squicky way.

And here:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0117.html

And the one where Thor gets interrupted by Durkon and the villagers all get eaten "Mommy, what's happening?"

Lots of examples. It probably won't get shown explicitly, but there's no reason it wouldn't happen.

[Lance]

Hmm...perhaps a baker would have a doily (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0033.html) somewhere in the kitchen? :smalltongue:

YES! That would be so cool, and probably a necessary step in not only V stopping the dragon, but in hir achieving ULTIMATE COSMIC/ARCANE POWER!

Great Suggestion!

[Kaytara]

While the dragon said to V that she would start killing his family right away, I doubt any self-respecting villain would pass up the chance to play with her helpless victims, first. Since she assumes V won't be able to follow her, she has no need to actually kill them that quickly, but would definitely still say that she will because of the mental anguish and hopelessness it would cause in V.

The ideal solution would be that the dragon has teleported in and disguised herself as Vaarsuvius for a time. She'll be greeted, enjoy some delicious pastries, chat with V's mate about "V's" exploits, and then cruelly eat the mate's face off in the midst of a kiss. :smalleek: Or try to, anyway.

[Lance]

Alright, revision: stuff V into the Bag of Holding, teleport to V's Master. Bring the master to the house. Profit.


Absolutely! I can't believe it's taken seven pages of comments for someone to come up with the most obvious solution to V's predicament. Though lacking for time, V may just want to go to hir house straight away. Chances are, the dragon can't cast another Anit-magic spell, so it would be a more fair fight this time.

On a lighter note, what I hope happens is the dragon has a deadly nut allergy and can't even get near V's family's house, though I think the chances of that happening are *very* slim.

[Faramir]

"Apprentice" baker? Is V robbin' the cradle? Or is the apprenticeship for bakers even more strenuous than for wizards?

Remember, V's mate didn't have the advantage of adventuring as a baker and therefore hasn't accumulated as much experience. Nothing like killing a few hundred goblins to help master the finer points of cake decorating.

Anyway, nice to see some humor again. It's been a bit heavy for the last few strips.

[ziratha]

It's clear. V will kill itself in some manner to become a lich or something similar, and will be teleported as the 50 pounds of non living matter.

[Draz74]

Absolutely! I can't believe it's taken seven pages of comments for someone to come up with the most obvious solution to V's predicament. Though lacking for time, V may just want to go to hir house straight away. Chances are, the dragon can't cast another Anit-magic spell, so it would be a more fair fight this time.

You mean aside from three major flaws?

(1) V doesn't have a Bag of Holding. (Haley would never let any of her teammates keep one instead of keeping them all for herself.)
(2) We've seen no evidence that, in this world, living beings can survive inside a Bag of Holding. Seems like the kind of abuse-prevention thing that The Giant would houserule into his world.
(3) The dragon most certainly can use AMF again, unless she's cast a lot of high-level spells off-screen today. She uses Sorcerer casting, not Wizard casting, so she didn't even need to know beforehand that she'd need it more than once today. And if she has a Level 7 spell slot (Greater Teleport), she certainly has more than one Level 6 slot per day.

Personally, I thought the theory about appealing to Xykon for help was the most ingenious and plausible that anyone's come up with.

[Kaytara]

Absolutely! I can't believe it's taken seven pages of comments for someone to come up with the most obvious solution to V's predicament. Though lacking for time, V may just want to go to hir house straight away. Chances are, the dragon can't cast another Anit-magic spell, so it would be a more fair fight this time.

On a lighter note, what I hope happens is the dragon has a deadly nut allergy and can't even get near V's family's house, though I think the chances of that happening are *very* slim.

I fail to see the "solution" part.
V isn't able to teleport with the imp.
Even assuming he was, V is out of high-level spells. Even without AMF, there's not much he can do against the dragon except grapple it with his fragile monkey physique and hope for a natural 30, because that's what he'd likely need.

Also, Haley herself says that O-Chul will probably suffocate in the Bag of Holding. So putting anything alive into it is likely not an option.

[MReav]

You mean aside from three major flaws?

(1) V doesn't have a Bag of Holding. (Haley would never let any of her teammates keep one instead of keeping them all for herself.)

V and Haley have not been in contact for months and Bags of Holding are very useful, so while Haley would keep any they would find, V could acquire them independently. Furthermore, Haley doesn't seem like the kind of person to steal from V. I also said the whole thing is contingent on V having a Bag of Holding.


(2) We've seen no evidence that, in this world, living beings can survive inside a Bag of Holding. Seems like the kind of abuse-prevention thing that The Giant would houserule into his world.

Bags of Holding have 10 minutes worth of air in their description.


(3) The dragon most certainly can use AMF again, unless she's cast a lot of high-level spells off-screen today. She uses Sorcerer casting, not Wizard casting, so she didn't even need to know beforehand that she'd need it more than once today. And if she has a Level 7 spell slot (Greater Teleport), she certainly has more than one Level 6 slot per day.

The whole plan is about getting the kids out of there before the dragon kills them, or providing a high-priority distraction that can harass the dragon (by telekinetically chucking stuff at it) It's flawed, but it is one of the less contrived means of saving the family.

[Lance]

I fail to see the "solution" part.
V isn't able to teleport with the imp.

Unless V is in a bag of holding /portable hole / some other portable extra-dimensional space


Also, Haley herself says that O-Chul will probably suffocate in the Bag of Holding. So putting anything alive into it is likely not an option.

Bags of holding contain 10 minutes worth of air. Easily enough for a quick teleport.


Even assuming he was, V is out of high-level spells. Even without AMF, there's not much he can do against the dragon except grapple it with his fragile monkey physique and hope for a natural 30, because that's what he'd likely need.

You're forgetting about the doily.. :smallwink:

[Kaytara]

Actually, with the amount of books Vaarsuvius has taken with him to the island, a Bag of Holding seems very, very likely.

[Koshiro]

Also, I'm not a parent but I know that even if my kids were facing a fate worse than death it would still take a lot of persuading for me to accept their deaths would be the best option.
They'd be D&D dead. Not dead dead. It's more like a coma from which you can very likely recover with expensive, but existent, medical technology.

[hamishspence]

still, could lead to trauma. If they find out their parent was responsible for a very unpleasant experience, even to save them from a worse one.

[David Argall]

What if the dragon doesn't intend to go through with her plan? Instead of killing and soulbinding the children and tailoring the mate, her intentions could have been to merely convince Vaarsuvius this had been done, leaving the poor elf stranded on an island knowing (or "knowing") that all loved ones were dead and unresurrectable. The family, on the other hand, would be perfectly safe, or possibly taken to some undisclosed location Vaarsuvius doesn't know about... trying to resurrect living characters will fail, right? The dragon gets her revenge without having to kill innocents.

It's not a matter of having to kill the innocents, but rather getting to. That is a bonus for the dragon.
And kids are a lot of trouble in the best of circumstances. The parent who has not at least once dreamed fondly of torturing to death that beloved child does not exist outside of those who gave the brat up for adoption at birth. Going to all sorts of trouble to raise your enemy's child? vs having a tasty lunch? It's a no-brainer.
Now she may not bother with the Soul Bind. we are talking maybe 10,000 gp when she has just lost her hoard, and of course is durn greedy to start with. So maybe she just hopes he will assume she is telling the truth and never tries. But offing the kids is automatic.



http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0112.html

There, children dying in a very squicky way.
Not really. The goblin is a teenager and presented in an unsympathetic way. Nor does he die on-stage.

There is definite hope for the kids, but don't be at all confident they are going to be anything beyond a snack.

As noted, the chance that V knows the Linear Guild is alive is virtually zero, and she has almost the same chance of knowing how to contact them, or getting them to the battlefield. Xykon is behind his Cloister, and also short of ways to move ultra-fast. The best hope for support is that Qarr can call in a friend/fiend that can teleport. Maybe the statue can be used.

[Scarlet Knight]

Ever watched Hell's Kitchen? The culinary world is brutal. :smalleek:

Qarr: “Welcome to 9 Hells Kitchen! We join our show already in progress…”
Dragon: “Well, baker, what have you prepared for me? A Spatula of Smiting? A Whisk +4?”
House Spouse: “No , ma’am. Only this letter of apology delivered by imp from my mate…”
Dragon: “What care I for apologies!”
House Spouse:”…with the location of all the treasure accumulated over the years of adventuring as a token of regret.”
Dragon:”Well, it will only take a moment to look. Hmmm, this only says,”I prepared explos…”

[Cúchulainn]

still, could lead to trauma. If they find out their parent was responsible for a very unpleasant experience, even to save them from a worse one.

Could lead to trauma? Look at them! They're the cutest most innocent little elven children that live in a cottage in a peaceful glen with a father who knows how to cook delicious pastries I've ever seen. There is no way in hell their parent no matter who it was would send a demon to kill them for resurrection later. There also still might be a way to retrieve their souls after someone else killed them for an ancient sorcerer dragon and that would be the only form of revenge it could take then, then again I have no knowledge of necromantic scrolls or their limits.

Anyway the most likely thing to happen is Aarindarius showing up to save the day since he's the only high-level elf we've seen so far in the general (assumed) vacinity. Just browsed through the geekery thread and it doesn't look like V has any items that could be transported that would be of use, I don't even think V has a bag of holding big enough to stash himself inside. Seems like the best thing V could do would be to send Qarr to steal the scrolls the dragon is going to use to bind the kids souls, that would stall it for a while and would possibly distract the dragon from eating the kids without the proper preperations. She strikes me as a 'all pieces in place' sort of dragon.

[los olvidados]

Wizard or Baker may be a common split in career paths:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0366.html

:smallwink:

[Lord Seth]

I hate to be the designated complainer again, but this strip wasn't very good. We didn't need to spend that much time listing possibilities and why they wouldn't work; why not just skip to who they do pick? I might not have minded ordinarily, but I didn't find it very funny and it's yet another case of the storyline dragging its heels like it's been doing for 70 strips or so.

[Gamiress]

Qarr: “Welcome to 9 Hells Kitchen! We join our show already in progress…”
Dragon: “Well, baker, what have you prepared for me? A Spatula of Smiting? A Whisk +4?”
House Spouse: “No , ma’am. Only this letter of apology delivered by imp from my mate…”
Dragon: “What care I for apologies!”
House Spouse:”…with the location of all the treasure accumulated over the years of adventuring as a token of regret.”
Dragon:”Well, it will only take a moment to look. Hmmm, this only says,”I prepared explos…”

This. This this this, yes.

[Silverraptor]

I hate to be the designated complainer again, but this strip wasn't very good. We didn't need to spend that much time listing possibilities and why they wouldn't work; why not just skip to who they do pick? I might not have minded ordinarily, but I didn't find it very funny and it's yet another case of the storyline dragging its heels like it's been doing for 70 strips or so.

Well this is the probable reason. The story Rich does decide to go with probably would make us argue over those things he just showed. He'd probably get a list of suggestions on those exact topics that he just listed.:smallannoyed:

[Holammer]

Qarr can teleport 50 Pounds (22 kg) of "unliving material".

.... Nah! For speculation material that's too easy, too good even! Rich probably got something else on his mind :smallamused:

[Kish]

Qarr: “Welcome to 9 Hells Kitchen! We join our show already in progress…”
Dragon: “Well, baker, what have you prepared for me? A Spatula of Smiting? A Whisk +4?”
House Spouse: “No , ma’am. Only this letter of apology delivered by imp from my mate…”
Dragon: “What care I for apologies!”
House Spouse:”…with the location of all the treasure accumulated over the years of adventuring as a token of regret.”
Dragon:”Well, it will only take a moment to look. Hmmm, this only says,”I prepared explos…”
*BOOM*
Very slightly singed dragon: "Hm. Your mate apparently was insufficiently impressed by my description of my plans for you to refrain from dealing me a trifling amount of damage in a way guaranteed to make me even angrier. Vaarsuvius's stubbornness is impressive..."

[Silverraptor]

*BOOM*
Very slightly singed dragon: "Hm. Your mate apparently was insufficiently impressed by my description of my plans for you to refrain from dealing me a trifling amount of damage in a way guaranteed to make me even angrier. Vaarsuvius's stubbornness is impressive..."

lol. Good point on stoping that theroy

[MReav]

I think to clarify the whole "make V undead" schtick, in the section they have on fiends, they most can teleport 50 pounds of equipment.

[lordofthe_wog]

My only hope is that when ABD eats everyone, she makes like a lolcat and says OM NOM NOM.

I am a horrible person.

[theguyintherobe]

My opinion (sorry if this was someone else's, but i didn't read all eight pages :smallamused:), but perhaps the V's life partner will offer to bake the dragon a ton of delicious morsels and ABD will decide to eat those instead of the poor, tanned kids. She is a baker. Just my thoughts.

[talkamancer]

If quarr can telepport 50lbs of unliving material, ca he teleport himself just behind the dragon and teleport back with just a dead dragon head ? Or does it need to be dead "before" to teleports it ?

[Zanaril]

Took me a re-read to notice, but I love how Qarr says the same thing and gets cut off in all the cut away scenes, except for the last one there it's V's mate that screams. That and the look on hir face.

[Raging Gene Ray]

My opinion (sorry if this was someone else's, but i didn't read all eight pages :smallamused:), but perhaps the V's life partner will offer to bake the dragon a ton of delicious morsels and ABD will decide to eat those instead of the poor, tanned kids.

And so it will be revealed that the entire comic was merely an ad (http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess.htm) for Elfin Shortbread. (http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Elfin_shortbread)

[pendell]

SteveMB,



If Vaarsuvius can't salvage the situation, this could either shatter h** worldview -- or set it in stone as a self-defense mechanism (i.e. admitting the possibility that s/he was wrong would open up the floodgates of guilt, therefore, that thought must never be entertained).

The dysfunctional way s/he's been dealing with what happened in Azure City points toward the latter. :smalleek:

This is a pivotal point in Start of Darkness


Xykon explains that evil is a lot about just how much you are willing to do rather than admit error or weakness. Xykon, for example, was willing to rip off his own flesh rather than submit to humiliation. Redcloak killed his own brother rather than acknowledge his view of the world was wrong.

By contrast, Right-eye, RC's brother, was full well willing to admit he'd made a mistake in wanting to recruit Xykon. I suspect Right-eye was on the path to good, if not actively there.

By contrast ... the further V descends into the unwillingness to admit ze is wrong, the more likely ze will fall.



Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Cracklord]

Let's put it this way: V's mate and the dragon are going to the bakery, they're about to deliver a loaf of Dead.
V's mate: Well I guess this is it then
Dragon: Then why are you smiling?
V's mate: Because I know something you don't know.
Dragon: And what's that?
V's mate: I am not left handed/ not what you'd call a/ one helluva/ect.

Hey, it would be such a cliche that it would be hillarious.

[Name Lips]

"Qarr, teleport to a magic shop and return with the following items: two scrolls of Greater Teleport, a Ring of Improved Invisibility, a Bow of True Strike, and several Arrows of Dragon Slaying."

[Rabidferret]

I like the idea of the ABD dying from an Explosive Runes. If she is to die and V is the one to off her, that's how it should happen:smallbiggrin:

As to whoever mentioned the possibility of V's master checking in on his household when the ABD makes her appearance, I think this would be incredibly good writing. It sets up an epic mage vs dragon showdown with lives in the balance, and provides plenty of development if the ABD wins. Imagine Aarindarius holding off the ABD just long enough for V to teleport in, spellless, and watch the ABD soulbind not only his family but mentor as well.

Losing his family in this manner is the sort of stimulus which is needed to make his fall to the dark side complete. Aarindarius' death would not only help build tension but rub salt into the wounds.

[Prak]

It's clear. V will kill itself in some manner to become a lich or something similar, and will be teleported as the 50 pounds of non living matter.

I'd say ripping out one's own heart while pledging themself to the powers of evil would be a quick, suitable ritual for lichdom.

One could say, and IIWDMIWAT*, that the process of being turned into an undead counts as "rest" and shi could get her spells back.


They'd be D&D dead. Not dead dead. It's more like a coma from which you can very likely recover with expensive, but existent, medical technology.
"He's only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. All dead there's not much you can do rifle around in his pockets for loose change. Mostly dead, they're still a little bit alive."


still, could lead to trauma. If they find out their parent was responsible for a very unpleasant experience, even to save them from a worse one.
They're elves, elves are, usually, portrayed as being fairly level headed and psychologicially stable (V's an exception). I think they'd understand. Especially since at V's command the deaths would be as painless as possible, whereas Matron Momma Dragon's looking to inflict as much pain as possible.

[MageLeif]

You guys are thinking too hard. V can simply cast feather fall on himself. I forget if feather fall actually makes you weigh less, but if it doesn't, you can just ignore this.

V could also do other stuff to make him weigh less. Like... fall in love... maybe? I heard that weightlessness occurs while in love.

Candidates include the imp, and some boulders on the island. Sand and trees are also a possibility,

[ondonaflash]

The brilliant thing about this situation is that it is, at this point impossible to resolve without some sort of Deus Ex Machina. Impossible situations make for thrilling resolutions. Whatever the result of this arc I am looking forwards to it being suitable climactic.

[keybounce]

I haven't read all of the discussion, but I do have a thought:

What if Quarr goes and gets a Butcher and a Candlestick Maker to join in? Perhaps the group might be able to confuse the ABD?


"Qarr, teleport to a magic shop and return with the following items: two scrolls of Greater Teleport, a Ring of Improved Invisibility, a Bow of True Strike, and several Arrows of Dragon Slaying."
"Do you realize how unlikely it is that all of those will be in a single shop, or that I could even find that shop? Maybe if you know of someone who has a horde of magic bows and arrows hanging up on a wall somewhere, and someone else with a large collection of scrolls just sitting around to be used, and a hobbit somewhere trying to get to a mountain ..."

(Bows and arrows on the wall: Dead-eye Pete.
Scrolls sitting around: 25 words per sending :-).

[Asplode]

I just have to say...

THERE IS NO SUCH GAP!!!!

[Prak]

I think to clarify the whole "make V undead" schtick, in the section they have on fiends, they most can teleport 50 pounds of equipment.

What, Lichs aren't equipment? But I thought everyone carried around a handy BoHnec...


My opinion (sorry if this was someone else's, but i didn't read all eight pages :smallamused:), but perhaps the V's life partner will offer to bake the dragon a ton of delicious morsels and ABD will decide to eat those instead of the poor, tanned kids. She is a baker. Just my thoughts.
What if the kids we saw are bread simulacra? it could explain their darkness, and would give the dragon something else to munch on while the mate flees with the real kids?

Or, rather, more coherently, what if one of the mages around saw the dragon casing V's house, alerted V's mate, V's mate worked with the mage to create bread simulacra of the kids, and ran the frak away, or took up sanctuary in V's master's tower?


If quarr can telepport 50lbs of unliving material, ca he teleport himself just behind the dragon and teleport back with just a dead dragon head ? Or does it need to be dead "before" to teleports it ?
Needs to be unliving at moment of casting, and Momma Matron Dragon's head is more than 50 lbs...


"Do you realize how unlikely it is that all of those will be in a single shop, or that I could even find that shop? Maybe if you know of someone who has a horde of magic bows and arrows hanging up on a wall somewhere, and someone else with a large collection of scrolls just sitting around to be used, and a hobbit somewhere trying to get to a mountain ..."

(Bows and arrows on the wall: Dead-eye Pete.
Scrolls sitting around: 25 words per sending :-).
Unfortunately, V does't know about either of those...

And I just got the hobbit trying to get to a mountain, took me a moment.



....That would be ultimate arcane power... The one ring isn't just a ring of invisibility, most characters just weren't powerful enough to use it properly, but a 13th lv. wizard should definately be powerful enough.

"Bring Me Frodo's Ring"

[Calmness]

A wizard and a baker? Weird couple.

[see]

She already said she would teleport there directly!

And, of course, evil dragons never, ever exaggerate even slightly, so we can be absolutely 100% sure she spoke the literal truth, and didn't bend it because she thought it would terrorize V more.

[Prak]

A wizard and a baker? Weird couple.

again, people underestimate the power and allure of good cooking. Hell, it's one of the few things I have going for me...

[Silverraptor]

My only hope is that when ABD eats everyone, she makes like a lolcat and says OM NOM NOM.

I am a horrible person.

Yes, yes you are. You make Belkar so proud.:belkar:

[Tobimaro]

Mmmm....muffins.

:smallbiggrin:

Sorry, is someone in danger?

[Randel]

My prediction:

1). V realises that there is only one way to save her family from a fate worse than death.

2). V tells the imp "Go... kill my family." (or a similar four words)

3). The imp teleports to V's house and kills two elven children (CR 0) and an apprentice baker (CR 1)

4). Imp teleports back with 50 lbs of nonliving matter in the form of either the corpses of two kids and (maybe) a piece of Vs mate or just the two kids. Possible complications due to the dragons attacks could result.

this would hopefully prevent the dragon from being able to use the scroll to trap their souls and allow for a later resurrection.

5). V gets whatever parts of their corpses she can get (the two children are the most likely candidates with the possibility that Vs mate would be left behind for the dragon to capture) and goes on a quest to get them raised from the dead.

6). Due to a series of tragic events and a decent into evil and madness, V is unable or unwilling to get her loved ones resurrected by normal clerics and tries doing it herself, either becoming a mystic theurge (or just getting cleric levels), using the Clone spell, or doing something else to bring them back.

7). In the process of doing this, she attains ultimate arcane power (possibly killing the black dragon at some point).

8). ???

9). Profit?

[Silverraptor]

My prediction:

1). V realises that there is only one way to save her family from a fate worse than death.

2). V tells the imp "Go... kill my family." (or a similar four words)

3). The imp teleports to V's house and kills two elven children (CR 0) and an apprentice baker (CR 1)

4). Imp teleports back with 50 lbs of nonliving matter in the form of either the corpses of two kids and (maybe) a piece of Vs mate or just the two kids. Possible complications due to the dragons attacks could result.

this would hopefully prevent the dragon from being able to use the scroll to trap their souls and allow for a later resurrection.

5). V gets whatever parts of their corpses she can get (the two children are the most likely candidates with the possibility that Vs mate would be left behind for the dragon to capture) and goes on a quest to get them raised from the dead.

6). Due to a series of tragic events and a decent into evil and madness, V is unable or unwilling to get her loved ones resurrected by normal clerics and tries doing it herself, either becoming a mystic theurge (or just getting cleric levels), using the Clone spell, or doing something else to bring them back.

7). In the process of doing this, she attains ultimate arcane power (possibly killing the black dragon at some point).

8). ???

9). Profit?

Ya, uh. 1) That's a Deus Ex Machina Theory and 2) I would get kind of dissapointed if that happened and 3) The more I read your post the more I'm liking it and 4) Who know's Rich just might do that and finnally 5) I know that this was a waste of a post. sorry:smallfrown:

[Rabidferret]

My prediction:

(snip)

Shouldn't that be under a "spoiler" tag? :)

I agree that the overall direction will be along those lines.

The ABD will do SOMETHING to V to earn his/her wrath, and pursuit of revenge will drive B to fulfill the Oracle's prophecy. Eventually, when he possesses "ultimate arcane power" the ABD (and/or maybe Xykon as well) will be cast aside as less than a plaything, but the greater drama will be the consequences of V's empowerment and his moral compass (or lack thereof).

If V begins his/her quest with the avowed goal of freeing the souls of his/her children, by the time V's is able to do so (s)he'll be so far corrupted that he/she either won't bother freeing them or purposefully leaves them be out of malice.


All the little stops along the way are up in the air, as is the possibility for a deathbed redemption; but I'm pretty sure this is how it'll shape up. It'll be an interesting trip, no doubt about that.

[Wadoka]

To the poster who suggested Quarr carry explosives into the dragon's belly - it's creative thinkers like you who give DMs awful headaches.

That said... V probably knows Delayed Blast Fireball. DBF starts out as a small glowing bead which can be handled, carried or hurled, so...

Muahahahaaaaa...!

[Sequinox]

Meh. I didn't find this funny.

Other than banana nut muffins...

[Shazbot]

Ahh, the apprentice baker. Well, all we know is that V's mate is an apprentice baker now..

Who knows, he or she coulda been a wizard!

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0366.html

[EmeraldPhoenix]

Great comic, Rich! I keep thinking that each one will be the best but they just seem to keep getting better.

Ok, now that the sucking up is out of the way, do you know what time it is?

Theory Time! Ok, here we go.


V has been gone so long that hir mate picked up some fighting/magic skills while (s)he was away.
V's mate has a magic item on hir at all times for just such an occation as this.
The four words will be said, and will be said soon.
V's mate has doilys on hand. (

[Scarlet Knight]

again, people underestimate the power and allure of good cooking.

"Send in the Gingerbread Golems!" :smalltongue:

[shapechange]

to understimate the power of cooking is to understimate the power of god. i bet that v's mate will cook up some B.A, bread that will hold off the dragon untill V come to the rescue. :)

[derfenrirwolv]

If quarr can telepport 50lbs of unliving material, can he teleport himself just behind the dragon and teleport back with just a dead dragon head ? Or does it need to be dead "before" to teleports it ?

D&D is very good about not having spells that aren't supposed to be offensive not being used that way. Water can't be created within a person to make their brain explode, you generaly cant just affect part of an object or creature, and you can't summon the celestial dire badger inside another beings' stomach, and you can't go ethereal and leave an object inside someone... a person has the right of way in their own space.

I always thought the "gust of wind+ disintigrate" crowd was nuts, but now i'm not so sure. ANYTHING V says from this point on is bound to be for the right reason.. to save his kids. That includes "Yes, Kill my children"

Of course, if in his fall he laments more that his arcane power wasn't enough to save them rather than their loss that would strike me as the wrong reason.

[Berserk Monk]

Nice! I loved the Hobbit reference. Just the other day I was wondering how many times the Giant made references to Tolkien in his work. I also enjoyed how we saw V's teacher. (Not sure if they were in Origins)

[kusje]

Question: Should the fleet (if it were in the area) risk itself against the dragon to save V's children?

Do they have any obligation to help someone who just deserted them?

[Kalir]

Amusing note: none of the phrases here (with the exception of "my mate? MY MATE?!") are four words. I wonder if that was intentional to hush people up about "oh noes teh bargain with demunz".

[Stormgale]

Amusing note: none of the phrases here (with the exception of "my mate? MY MATE?!") are four words. I wonder if that was intentional to hush people up about "oh noes teh bargain with demunz".

Do we ever hush up about Those four words... I thought that was our shtick

[ianneiriksson]

How come nobody notices the obvios.

Imp+wizard equals good team

Imp= POISON IMMUNITY, FIRE RESISTANCE 20!

Wizard= enlarge person...

Now than add the two and you get a really big fire shield for the family

of course i read a not completely up to date rulebook (3.0) but it was the only one i could find, if the rules were changed please do not hesitate to argue and point fingers, as well as large unessisary arm movments:smallsmile:

[Lord_Butters_I]

lol at the DB-fireball trick. If I still played D&D I would try that.

[Rabidferret]

How come nobody notices the obvios.

Imp+wizard equals good team

Imp= POISON IMMUNITY, FIRE RESISTANCE 20!

Wizard= enlarge person...

Now than add the two and you get a really big fire shield for the family

of course i read a not completely up to date rulebook (3.0) but it was the only one i could find, if the rules were changed please do not hesitate to argue and point fingers, as well as large unessisary arm movments:smallsmile:

I don't play D&D but I'm pretty sure black dragons have acid as their only breath weapon:
Dragons, as per the SRD: (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/dragonTrue.htm#blackDragon)

Breath Weapon (Su)

A black dragon has one type of breath weapon, a line of acid.

...which makes the fire resistance a moot point.

[MReav]

I don't play D&D but I'm pretty sure black dragons have acid as their only breath weapon:
Dragons, as per the SRD: (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/dragonTrue.htm#blackDragon)


...which makes the fire resistance a moot point.

Also, Enlarge Person targets humanoids, and an Imp is an Outsider.

[ianneiriksson]

Well it almost worked, shoot gotta get me more up to date spellbooks:smallfrown:

[dsavereide]

If an imp showed up with a bag of holding and said "quick, get in" would you do it? Why would they?

Maybe Qarr could buzz outside the master wizzes window or through the village and lead them to V's hut. This might cause the dragon to wait for a better time. Then they could be warned and seek safety in numbers. Or get teleported to somewhere. Anywhere.