What's YOUR Starting Weapon?

[Rutskarn]

The cutscene begins.

Nazi Zomboid Aliens are conquering the earth, with the help of their Cyborg Ninja Monkeys. Entire cities are now engulfed in pretty, but not in any dynamic or gameplay effecting, flames. Cover Rubble litters the streets.

You awaken in your house. Something needs to be done. And that something is killing all of them.

Straightforward enough.

You then select your starting, mapped-to-the-1-key melee weapon.

What is it?

Rules:

1.) It has to actually be in your house

2.) It has to be plausibly portable (swords are okay, claymores not quite as much)

3.) It can't have a finite power source (chainsaws, weed whackers)

Mine: I don't have a wrecking crowbar, so I guess I'd make do with a claw hammer or hatchet.

[Cristo Meyers]

lesse...possibilities:

golf clubs - good weight and hard enough to do some damage, but would be useless after a couple of hits (and that's only if I'm lucky and they don't break on the first hit). I'd pretty much have to take the whole bag.

claw hammer- solid, durable, good damage potential, but really close ranged

various carving knives - always a good stopgap, same range problem as the hammer, though

wooden two-handed long sword - basically a baseball bat. might look cool, but there are better choices.

Think I'm going to have to go with the carving knives on this one.

[WalkingTarget]

No question. "Good ol' Bluey" the crowbar I've got on my desk (my brothers had strange ideas for Christmas presents for several years, this one was actually clever, though).

I suppose I've got a hammer in the tool kit in my closet and a camping hatchet in a box of assorted junk under the bed, but I can't resist the classics.

[Spiryt]

Shouldn't it be in SMBG?




2.) It has to be plausibly portable (swords are okay, claymores not quite as much)


Also, why aren't claymores portable now?


Anyway I would probably take my around 70cm, 1250g axe. Not something weighted and generally good as weapon, but that's the best I have.

And probably a hammer and a broad knife as a support.

[Lorn]

The joys of being a historical reenactor and having a small arsenal in my room...

Reenactment-safe weaponry:
Two spears (neither in room, though)
One axe
One sword
One scramseax

Out of these, the axe, spears and sword would be most useful - the scram is blunt like the rest but unlike the rest does not have much weight behind it.

Less safe reenactment stuff:
One scramseax
One eating knife

The scram would be OK, but requires getting close... hm.

If we go down to the garage I could also pick things like crowbars, garden shears etc.

Most realistic weapons would be the sword and axe, to be honest. Could be sharpened easily enough. But take the crowbar along either way...

[Texas_Ben]

2.) It has to be plausibly portable (swords are okay, claymores not quite as much)

How are claymores non-portable? They weigh maybe 8-10 pounds, max, more likely 5-8.

Anyways, I'll take my mosin-nagant rifle. Even after I run out of ammo, the stock will make an extremely nasty club.

[Krrth]

After a quick glance in my garage, I'd have to go with either the sledgehammer or the fire axe.

[Trazoi]

Most likely the cricket bat. Sure, maybe some of the gardening tools might do slightly more damage, but the cricket bat has style.

[Closet_Skeleton]

How are claymores non-portable? They weigh maybe 8-10 pounds, max, more likely 5-8.

Anyways, I'll take my mosin-nagant rifle. Even after I run out of ammo, the stock will make an extremely nasty club.

While the weight may only be 4-7 lb, they're still large and impractical. You can fix one to your back with a harness or something but it wouldn't be that easy to draw. Otherwise you're carrying it around all day.

[Da'Shain]

This kind of situation would make me wish that I was a gun collector, not a blade collector.

Still, though, I'd be pretty well off, I think. I'd strap my ninja-to in its sheath to my back, hook my katana in its sheath to my belt, and strap my dagger to my leg with its concealed sheath. They're still sharp, although they could probably do with a bit more sharpening before I left.

I might opt for a crowbar instead of the katana, though, just because it's a bit redundant to have two swords (which I'm certainly not going to be wielding both at once). I have a crowbar sitting in my garage.

Yeah, an axe would be great if I had one of those. I need to branch out from just blades ...

[Cristo Meyers]

While the weight may only be 4-7 lb, they're still large and impractical. You can fix one to your back with a harness or something but it wouldn't be that easy to draw. Otherwise you're carrying it around all day.

I go as far to say that it'd be damn near impossible to draw from your back without taking the harness off first.

[Sholos]

It's between a crowbar and an axe. Both have a wide variety of uses beyond killing.

[Spiryt]

While the weight may only be 4-7 lb, they're still large and impractical. You can fix one to your back with a harness or something but it wouldn't be that easy to draw. Otherwise you're carrying it around all day.

Indeed 7 pounds MAX is the weigth, 10 pounds is silly. And if one really have a claymore (that's the assumption of the OP), then he quite probably also has a scabbard and belt for it.

SO it's actually more portable than my axe, that I would have to carry all day, beacuse I have no idea how sheath it.

[Fri]

I... uh... damn. I'm screwed. I don't even have a single cooking knife or a good blunt instrument. Broom is too light. I got a prop cleaver made from cardboard, so not really a good cutting instrument. Cutter and Scissors are sharp, but not really a good weapon. A hacksaw isn't as useful as a chainsaw. Wow, you thought that an art student would have more weapon choice in his room. I guess I'm stuck with a hammer. And not even a big hammer. Maybe I could use the broom as a... useless short staff. Uh... my collection of CD as throwing weapon?

Damn, seriously. My lack of improvised weapon is chilling me. I need to secure a solid crowbar ASAP.

[Jimp]

That's a tough question. My house is pretty lacking in potential weapons. I have a hefty wrench for short range bashing and a steak knife for short range stabbing. I don't have much for medium/long range though, which is worrying as short range combat = doom for me. An umbrella is the best I can do for now unless I remove one of my car's coilovers. That would leave my car out of action though :smalleek:
Argh, real world situations! In a zombocalypse I would be boned if I didn't keep away form the horde.

[warty goblin]

Hmm, in my dorm room I'd have to with my 3/8 inch steel dowel. Not great, but could probably put a nice crease upside something's skull if swung right. Assorted short knives for backup.

At home is much easier- machetes. Good, reliable, and capable of making really big holes in stuff.

[Spiryt]

I would forget, I also have a bow...

But it's only 30 pounder with not matching crappy bow string...

Besides thread's about melee weapons.

[VeisuItaTyhjyys]

A hatchet, I suppose; if the blade breaks/falls off, or other such misfortune, an ax handle is still quite a formidable club, as picket lines in the thirties remind us.

[Weezer]

For me there are 3 options that are readily available to me at my house:

1) The classic crowbar:
Pros: good heft and could cause some decent damage and is useful out of combat
Cons: short and rather unwieldy as a weapon

2) spliiting maul
Pros: pretty sharp but holds its edge well, could cause massive damage
Cons: unwieldy for a weapon, heavy and awkward to carry

3)Whaling tool for cutting blubber
Pros: sharp, could easily pierce skin, might be effective
Cons: no idea how practical it could actually be, blade is very thin

I think that i would bring the crowbar and the whaling tool because the whaling tool gives a little bit of reach and seems like it would make an effective weapon but if it doesn't work then I've got the crowbar. Also its always good to have a crowbar in any situation.

[GoC]

My ironwood staff.
Very strong, decent range and it's got a bit of weight behind it.

[MisterSaturnine]

Hmm...well, I do have a rapier, but I'm not trained with it so I doubt it would be very useful...maybe the scabbard (enforced with steel), which is light-weight and serves as a nice instrument to play keep away...you know, strangely enough? Probably this big 'ol pair of scissors I have. Nice for eye shots to zombies.

[Kneenibble]

3)Whaling tool for cutting blubber

Are you a regular whaler, sir, or what? How is whale to eat?

Me, I've got a huge-ass axe for chopping the wood. Although that's not as impressive as I'd hoped, I oughtn't to have been surprised that the crowd from this forum would have such a wealth of actual melee weapons.

[chiasaur11]

Baseball bat.

Although crowbars are only five bucks at big lots...

[Surfing HalfOrc]

Well, since they are Zombies, bullets tend to pass through their rotting flesh, I'll leave my old .22 rifle in the closet. For now.

I'd say my EZ-Bar curling bar from my gym set would be best, with both collets on one end.

[Spiryt]

I also have a hoe. It's crappy and blunt, but surprisingly agile and quite long = leverage.

Overally I would fight as proud mad peasant.

[Mando Knight]

Here at university I'd start with my suite's broom, then upgrade to another melee weapon ASAP. At home, I'd skip straight to the baseball bat, which is made for whacking things.

Either way, before I find a firearm I'd use a claw hammer as a thrown weapon, probably backed up with a hatchet.

[TheThan]

I’d go for the camp axe, the splitting maul, or possibly the crowbar for melee weapons.

But since this is GI. Joe headquarters I’d go for the .45 pistol and probably the 12 gauge. I’m thinking the shotgun would be a bit more practical in urban environments, over a rifle.

[Fri]

It's not zombies guys. It's Nazi Zomboid Aliens and their Cyborg Ninja Monkeys!

Any weapon would be useful.

[Joran]

Let's see... I remember distinctly in my coat closet, I have an aluminum softball bat. That's probably the best weapon I have against zombies; it's lightweight, balanced for easy swinging, and has pretty good reach.

Unfortunately, the wife will have to make do with either a tennis racket or a cleaver, which are both not great on the reach aspect. Definitely wouldn't use a frying pan. I'm fairely sure she's screwed.

[SurlySeraph]

My pocketknife, because it's right there in my pocket, so I can have it out the second an alien zombie monkey comes crashing through the window.
Oh wait, I actually have time to search? Oh. Then I'll find that replica cavalry sabre and Masonic ritual sword that are lying around somewhere, flip a coin to decide which is less likely to break on the first swing, and start hacking. Or, if I have time to get farther than my pocket but not time to methodically search the entire house, I'll just grab that pole I use to hold up the curtain over my bunkbed.

[Nerd-o-rama]

I've got a replica sword somewhere. Not very sharp, but it'll still hurt if I smack you with it. In actuality, though, I'd probably go with the tire iron out of my car.

EDIT: Ooh, or I do have an aluminum baseball bat from high school lying around.

[Vorpal Soda]

Right in my room, I have a Stanley knife on the desk next to me that I use for various craft purposes, which could be used to defend myself. I also have sand paper and a junior hacksaw, in case I need to get answers from a captured enemy.

I also have in my room a prop axe from the film Troy, which actually belongs to my brother, but his wife doesn't want it in their house. It's not a real axe, the blade is rubber with a metal core, and the outside has been removed from one side, to show how the axes for the film were designed, meaning I could use it as a blugeoning weapon.

Once I get outside, my dad works as a builder, and his girlfriend has gardening as a hobby, so I'd have plenty of choices of melee upgrade there.

[Drascin]

Against zombies, I'm boned. I just don't have any significant bludgeoning tool around, at least not in a way that I grab it in less than a minute's effort.

Now, against an enemy that is more of a... bleeder, for my main weapon I'd go with my shortspear. Stabbing their face tends to put a cramp in most fleshies' style.

(Also, I'd grab the "cutlery bandage" we have hanged on the kitchen's wall, and makeshift a belt via a couple knots. Even taking out the ones that would be annoying to move, that way I can very well carry about eight to ten long ham-cutting/butcher knives on my person, without occupying my hands. This would allow me to throw in case of neccessity, and arm any friendlies I came across. So I begin the game with an inventory of eight knives as well :smallwink:)

[Innis Cabal]

A pair of tonfa, a pair of sai, a real katana, what ever I can pull out of the back of my car or tool belt and at least a dozen kitchen knives...pretty much any of that I can carry.

[Greep]

well the my biggest cooking knife is about a foot long... so I think I'd have to go with a plastic fold up chair. Reach of over 5 feat and lightweight just makes it swing faster :D Only problem is it'd get messed up after about 4 hits, but honestly 4 attacks on a zombie horde is about as far as I'd get.

Alternatively, I have the book war and peace and a boombox with enya.

[Animefunkmaster]

Everyone who sees it says I am crazy (or thinks I am joking), but I have two one-litter bottles (with squirt cap) of Holy Water from Fatima and from the Vatican (saved from a trip I took 2 years back) kept right under my nightstand in case of such emergencies as zombies or vampires.

Now, these are alien zombies... so if the water doesn't work out (or I can't get to a super-soaker in time) I just bought this ridiculous bread knife that looks exactly like the A****aka's sword from Princess Mononoke, but with teeth. Albeit a little smaller in scale, but it is the length of my forearm.

Otherwise I think I will wage into battle with my wok, or cast iron pan (but that might be too heavy for me to wield in an sort of proficient way).

Thank the gods for this thread as I finally have a use for my holy water.

Perhaps... bread knife attached to a swifter pole ^_^. My apartment is small, I sleep right next to the kitchen.

[zeratul]

Well lets see what I have first of all

4 civil war era sabers
1 cavalry sword
1 cutlass
1 katana
1 bayonette/dagger *functions as either*
1 bowie knife
1 hatchet
1 crappy stainless steel decorative knife
1 huge african knife thing
1 most likely kukri like knife
various bokens and staves.

I think in this case I'd probably go with the cutlass or one of the sabers as it's the type I'd be best at fighting with.

[Athaniar]

*Takes a quick look around*

I'll take... my Monster Manual II. Alternatively, an... uhm, USB stick? To download a lethal virus into the Cyborg Ninja Monkeys? No, wait, I've got it: my cat. Furry ninja berserk razor claw-bite combo sneak attacks of DOOM! They won't stand a chance, poor Nazi Zomboid Aliens.

[Castel]

I'd go with my good old boken, since I have some training with it... Id need to upgrade to a real katana or to another weapon soon though, since its old, it might break after a few battles...

Edit:
I forgot I had a (makeshift)Bo Staff, and my brother has a machete in his room, so I could use that as well.

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Most likely the cricket bat. Sure, maybe some of the gardening tools might do slightly more damage, but the cricket bat has style.

I have been thoroughly beaten to the punch. Good show.

[OrigamiSamurai]

Okay, first off, I'm going to ignore the blunt broadsword, claymore, and Legolas fighting knives in favor of something I would actually know how to use. In my room, I would grab a knee-length sock, dump in $10 worth of pennys and slip that into another sock (like double-bagging deadly groceries). Tie off the sock just above the coins. Instant ball-o-bludgeoning death.

Once that was prepped, head out to the kitchen and grab a knife or two.

Head out the front door, pop my trunk and pull out a 1-1/2 inch thick wooden dowel (~5ft long) on my way to the garage.

In the garage (ignoring the Moisin-Nagant w/bayonet, the Mossberg 12-guage, and the assorted revolvers and .22's) grab the long roofing nails and drive them through the dowel. Instant spiked warclub. Also, grab the chainmail I made myself that is hanging on the wall.

Alien zombies get the dowel with the nails, monkey robots get their circuits bashed in with the sock-flail.

[Phaedra]

Lessee... I have, um... some really heavy textbooks? I could chuck 1200 pages of boredom at a couple of them. Ah, a tiny hacksaw which struggled to cut through tough cardboard. Probably not much use. I'd probably have to go for carving knife. I have one which is a good 8 inches, though I suppose by the time a zombie's got this close they've already ripped off my head.

See, if I were back at my parents house I have a katana. Sadly this didn't make the transit at my last move. I have no idea how to use it, mind (beyond the obvious hitting things with the sharp side). Still, two foot of metal to hit things with never goes amiss in life, I feel.

[Cristo Meyers]

I don' know why, exactly, but the image of someone laying out a crowd of cyborg monkey ninjas with a sock flail is incredibly entertaining...:smallbiggrin:

[Almn]

I have all sorts of stuff, but I would probably use my Rattan as my primary, and carry around drills and a hammer for general tool stuff.

[Kato]

Meh, not much to chose from in the appartment... got a box of tools but most useful'd be a small hammer. Think I'll have to go for a kitchen knife. May I at least dual wield two of 'em?

[Revlid]

Kitchen Knife
Hatchet
Axe

Probably Kitchen Knife. Short Range, but it's actually sharp and has a shorter swing-time than the other two. However, it's one handed, so I'd probably grab it and the Hatchet.

Man, I really need to buy a Trench Knife. That'll sort out these threads nice and quick. 'Specially if they're cool lookin'.

Or a Khukri, or a Pata. They'd be good too.

[Spiryt]

Man, I really need to buy a Trench Knife. That'll sort out these threads nice and quick. 'Specially if they're cool lookin'.

Or a Khukri, or a Pata. They'd be good too.

Eh, if we're talking about melees that we should have... that's different story.

That would be definetly be some Albion or Vince Evans sword.

*drools*

[Almn]

I have been thoroughly beaten to the punch. Good show.

When is a cricket bat like a billy club?
Whenever you want it to be.

[Athaniar]

*Takes a quick look around*

I'll take... my Monster Manual II. Alternatively, an... uhm, USB stick? To download a lethal virus into the Cyborg Ninja Monkeys? No, wait, I've got it: my cat. Furry ninja berserk razor claw-bite combo sneak attacks of DOOM! They won't stand a chance, poor Nazi Zomboid Aliens.

[Tengu_temp]

Unless my lazy brother finally sharpens his sword, I'd go with a pair of huge, trimming scissors - it's just stupid to try to trim enemies with them the same way you trim hedges, but if you disassemble them you have two decently long, sharp blades - or with a gardening hoe, since having a long weapon can never be underestimated.

[Hectonkhyres]

Melee? I have a Fiskar's utility hatchet, a machete, and kendo training sword in my bedroom. If I go a couple rooms over we go into firearm territory where I have a shotgun, a rifle, and a pistol. I also have an antique cavalry saber passed down in my family since the civil war.

If I had to pick one melee weapon to go mad-max with it would be my hatchet. The thing is really light in my hands and a hatchet doesn't cause bystanders to freak out nearly as much as a big freaking machete or an ungainly sword. As for firearms, I'm split between shotgun and rifle. The rifle has one hell of a range but the shotgun would be great for clearing hallways in urban warfare.

[UncleWolf]

If it is where I am currently(My dorm room), I'd use my round shield and my utility knife.
Either the knife, or I can snap a bit off of a PVC pipe that my I use to spar my brother with and make a short spear.

If I was at my house, I'd use a drilling hammer, splitting maul, hand axe, or a viking seax.

Either that or one of the shotguns that we have.
<.<

[Mr._Blinky]

Hmmmm, well I've got a few good knives, but they're all kitchen knives so I'm skeptical about their usefulness.

Probably my kali sticks. I can get a fair amount of power behind them, they're durable, and the could be lethal if I really tried for it. I'd imagine I could at least stagger a zombie enough to get away.

My brother has a piece of crap sword somewhere around here that he left when he went to college, but it's fairly dull so I'd need to sharpen it somehow.

Other than that, I'd have to think.

[Ascension]

I have swords (at least one of them actually usable) at home, but here in the dorm... I'd carry the scissors and utility knife as desperation weapons, but my primary weapon would be my red lightsaber (http://www.ultrasabers.com/UK_Vaga_p/uk-domi.htm). Reasonably durable, lightweight, can actually hit pretty hard. A baseball bat would be more practical, yes, but I don't have one, so... flashy it is. I've got a blue saber (http://www.ultrasabers.com/APP_AS_p/uk-legacy.htm) too, but the red is better balanced and has a stronger blade.

[Closet_Skeleton]

Indeed 7 pounds MAX is the weigth, 10 pounds is silly. And if one really have a claymore (that's the assumption of the OP), then he quite probably also has a scabbard and belt for it.

So it's actually more portable than my axe, that I would have to carry all day, beacuse I have no idea how sheath it.

You try and hang a sword that's longer than your leg from a belt.

Only weapons I have in my house are kitchen knives, bow and arrows and a non sharpened sutton hoo replica. If I were to go for an archaic weapon I'd pick a halberd. I don't want to get too close to my enemies.

[Haven]

Probably my kali sticks. I can get a fair amount of power behind them, they're durable, and the could be lethal if I really tried for it. I'd imagine I could at least stagger a zombie enough to get away.

Heh, this whole thread I was thinking "no love for kali sticks?" That's what I'd go for too.

Granted, I don't have a whole lot of other choices...the only other weapon-like thing I have is a Leatherman, and if I had to resort to that in a fight I'd be much better off with my fists. (Though in an apocalyptic scenario, I would truly be grateful for it for a variety of reasons...combat just wouldn't be one of them, although it would probably be helpful for sneaking up and slitting the throat of a cyborg monkey ninja)

So my other choices would be...folding chairs, monkey doll (not an actual weapon, but it works as a slingshot and when I launch it makes this noise, so it would be a great distraction), hmm...I could conceivably rip a pipe out and use that...I've got a big old bottle of bleach...ooh, that's it! I'll smack someone with the bottle of bleach, stunning them, then force it down their throat!

Okay, so, yeah, kali sticks it is.

[Rutskarn]

@Lord Xavius: Best. Starting. Weapon. Ever.

[Ricky S]

Umm right here in my room, a sock monkey? I know, my pc use the cpu and bludgeon stuff with it. Downstairs in the kitchen, hammers, knives and and an uzi with 200 rounds to go with it. (kidding about the last one:smallbiggrin:) Also have mums car , does that count as a weapon? Anything can be used as a weapon, i mean anything! bourne supremacy he used up a rolled magazine! so whatever you have could probably be used

[Illiterate Scribe]

Being interested in etching, I have no less than three seconds away from my current location a 5 litre specially prepared vat of concentrated nitric acid. Sure, it's limited, but, hey, it's a pH ~1 acid that burns very quickly through steel, I'm not complaining.

[ghost_warlock]

Well, it should be really obvious for me, as anyone frequenting the You thread knows... :smallamused:
http://i461.photobucket.com/albums/qq339/ghost_warlock/katarkukri.jpg

[WhiteHarness]

http://www.mediumaevum.com/josh/library%201%20097b.jpg

What? It meets the criteria laid out in the original post--it's in my house, easily portable, and requires not power source.

Obviously, there is a helmet that goes with it, and I have plenty of other medieval weapons that would be more effective vs. zombies than that spear...

[Ascension]

How biteproof is that, Harness? I mean, on the one hand it looks like you'd be invincible, but what are you going to do when you're completely covered in zombies clawing at your joints for the soft flesh they can smell within your shell?

[Recaiden]

My sword. It might not be the best anti zombie weapon, but its the best I have.

[WhiteHarness]

How biteproof is that, Harness? I mean, on the one hand it looks like you'd be invincible, but what are you going to do when you're completely covered in zombies clawing at your joints for the soft flesh they can smell within your shell?

The joints and gaps are covered in riveted chainmail. :D

http://www.mediumaevum.com/josh/paulcloseup1.jpg
http://www.mediumaevum.com/josh/vislift1.jpg

Also, the visor locks down with a hook and spring pin.

The steel the suit is made of is fairly thick, at least over the vital areas (torso, head, etc--14ga+).

The only worry I might have would be the backs of my legs, and I think I could devise something to defend that area more adequately in a pinch.

At any rate, I think I'd be pretty safe from zombies until I needed to raise the visor in order to breathe. :smallwink:

[Project_Mayhem]

Here at uni, I'm going with either my mats cricket bat (signed by the England team lol), a kitchen knife, or a lump of wood from the shed

Back home, my brother's bowie knife or handaxe. Or both.

[Rutskarn]

At any rate, I think I'd be pretty safe from zombies until I needed to breathe. ;)

For the record, Max Brooks disagrees.

ZSG comes down very hard on plate mail.

Plus, it's not zombies, it's Nazi Zomboid Aliens and their Cyborg Ninja Monkeys.

[SilentNight]

Most likely the cricket bat. Sure, maybe some of the gardening tools might do slightly more damage, but the cricket bat has style.

Care for some peanuts with that?

I'd either have to go with a bastard sword, fairly sharp though I'm a little unsure of its durability. After that I'm gonna say machete or possibly hatchet.

[An Enemy Spy]

A box of envelopes. That way they will underestimate me.

[WhiteHarness]

For the record, Max Brooks disagrees.
ZSG comes down very hard on plate mail.

Then I must disagree with Mr. Brooks. He is an entertainer, not an authority on medieval armour and weapons. Additionally, I don't think he's ever worn a custom-fitted suit of plate, made to his precise measurements. He knows not whereof he speaks.

[Jack Squat]

In my room: a home-made sheet metal hammer and an EOD Breacher Bar. Several knives.

There's also a bottle of lighter fluid and at least a dozen lighters (+matches) if I need be.

Down the Hall: An assortment of shotguns (plus ~200 rounds per chambering). More knives.
Downstairs: More shotguns, two pistols (one w/ over 500 rounds of ammo for it, the other has 17), plus several bats, hockey sticks, a crowbar, and various tools. A crapload of kitchen knives.
The Basement/workshop: various hazardous/flammable chemicals, more lighters. More hockey sticks (I grew out of them...I'm not starting a team), circular saw blades (ALA Commando :smalltongue:). camping propane tanks, an axe or two. Many heavy objects.

I have my options depending on where I am...in this room I'd probably grab the sheet metal hammer and my camping knife.

[Innis Cabal]

For the record, Max Brooks disagrees.

For the record, that man dosn't know a thing about what he's talking about.

[Shades of Gray]

*Looks around room...*

I see my collection of medieval helmets...

My collection of letter openers...

My gag jar of jelly beans that shoots a spring loaded paper snake...

My gauntlets...

Ooh, and my morning star.

[Ascension]

For the record, that man dosn't know a thing about what he's talking about.

Ehh, it's certainly got issues, but it's a fun book and not meant to be taken seriously. Please let's not start a fight over something like factual inaccuracy in zombie countermeasures.

[BRC]

Some kitchen knives, a hammer, maybe a baseball bat with a nail put through it or somthing.

Reading this thread makes me scared of my fellow playgrounders.

[WhiteHarness]

In any case, my suit of plate and a sword are what I'd reach for if zombies came banging at my door.

If human teeth and nails had a reasonable chance to harm a man in such armour, then nobody would ever have worn such armour or bothered to invent other weapons.

[Overlord Nicy]

I've got an Aluminum Bat. Boink!
And...uh.....my grenade. Yes, I'm meleeing with a grenade. Got a problem with that?

[Illiterate Scribe]

I've got an Aluminum Bat. Boink!
And...uh.....my grenade. Yes, I'm meleeing with a grenade. Got a problem with that?

Barring 4 spies, all disguised as zombies ('I never really was infected ...'), 4 scouts would probably be the best TF2 party to take through Left 4 Dead. Storming forth like some sort of living, double-jumping storm of 'that's what I'm talking about!', 'say goodbye to your kneecaps, chucklehead!', and 'need a dispenser here!', swatting down zombies like knights of old, scattergunning tanks from every angle, and generally runnin and gunnin.

It would be GLORIOUS.

[Castel]

In any case, my suit of plate and a sword are what I'd reach for if zombies came banging at my door.

If human teeth and nails had a reasonable chance to harm a man in such armour, then nobody would ever have worn such armour or bothered to invent other weapons.
Ah, but this are zomboid aliens, they could have some pretty sharp claws.

And if Fire Emblem's Revenants or Entombed count as a reference...

(Because talk about the defensive capabilities of steel armour against hypothetical zomboid aliens is serious business! :smallbiggrin: )

[Trizap]

wakizaishi.

or the axe, or the hammmer, my quarterstaff, there is always my brothers
foils and rapiers such, not to mention a good ol shovel......

[GoC]

For the record, Max Brooks disagrees.

For the record, that's like saying Joey Tribbiani disagrees.

[Trizap]

hm.

you know I look at this thread, and now I think when ever some will say "humanity is not ready for a zombie apocalypse" I will laugh in their faces.

[Eldan]

I always heard comments about all americans being gun crazy and thought they were ridiculous. Now you tell me you all have half a dozen firearms in your houses?

I mean, I'd need to go stealth mode and try to strangle aliens with the cord of my earphones until I get to the kitchen to grab the finger-long knives. Perhaps throw some 1500+ page books at them.
So, I'd be screwed. :smallbiggrin:

[GoC]

hm.

you know I look at this thread, and now I think when ever some will say "humanity is not ready for a zombie apocalypse" I will laugh in their faces.
Agreed.


I always heard comments about all americans being gun crazy and thought they were ridiculous. Now you tell me you all have half a dozen firearms in your houses?
Also: Nearly half of all internet geeks are historical re-enactors with the arsenal of a wealthy medieval lord.

[Jack Squat]

I always heard comments about all americans being gun crazy and thought they were ridiculous. Now you tell me you all have half a dozen firearms in your houses?

I have half a dozen shotguns in the house (ok, 7), can only fire 5 of them, plus two pistols and 3 rifles. 2 BB guns as well, but those hardly count now, do they :smallwink:

It's all hand-me-downs from my grandfathers, I haven't even begun getting my own.

[Rutskarn]

I always heard comments about all americans being gun crazy and thought they were ridiculous. Now you tell me you all have half a dozen firearms in your houses?

Buh buh buh!

Alright, I know you're probably joking, but important distinction:

Americans are not gun crazy.

Some Americans are gun crazy. In some states.

I apologize in advance for the rant about to come, but I've been trekking through the more...multinational parts of teh intarwebz lately, and there's one thing I think a lot of people don't get:

America is less like a single country and more like Europe--there's an extreme amount of variety from location to location. There isn't a single stereotype out there that applies universally.

For example: people in California are usually decently skinny, have no firearms, know jack squat about geography and aren't jingoistic. There are others states like this.

It is fundamentally impossible to make any blanket statement about Americans.

[chiasaur11]

Buh buh buh!

Alright, I know you're probably joking, but important distinction:

Americans are not gun crazy.

Some Americans are gun crazy. In some states.

I apologize in advance for the rant about to come, but I've been trekking through the more...multinational parts of teh intarwebz lately, and there's one thing I think a lot of people don't get:

America is less like a single country and more like Europe--there's an extreme amount of variety from location to location. There isn't a single stereotype out there that applies universally.

For example: people in California are usually decently skinny, have no firearms, know jack squat about geography and aren't jingoistic. There are others states like this.

It is fundamentally impossible to make any blanket statement about Americans.

With the possible exception of "At some point they lived in America".

[UncleWolf]

And the people in Rural Missouri have to have guns to survive most of the time. There are too many predators that are threats to people and farm animals to have it otherwise.

[Kuma Da]

Returning briefly to the intended discussion, I would like to venture that my starting weapon would be a cheese grater. Sure, it's not very likely to hit anything, but the prospect of being hit by it is scary enough to make people not want to fight the man with the cheese grater. :smallbiggrin:

[Tengu_temp]

Reading this thread makes me scared of my fellow playgrounders.


Reading this thread makes me jealous of my fellow playgrounders.

[Eldan]

Only half-joking actually, mostly surprised. And while I must admit that I do not actually know much about the americas per se apart from what I've seen on TV, I'm still surprised about how openly some people in here claim to have half a dozen firearms in their houses.
(Ok, officially, every man in switzerland should have his military assault rifle at home, so we would theoretically have a high density of firearms, but they aren't allowed to have bullets in them or use them and most people don't have to ever be in the military anymore.)

[Jack Squat]

Only half-joking actually, mostly surprised. And while I must admit that I do not actually know much about the americas per se apart from what I've seen on TV, I'm still surprised about how openly some people in here claim to have half a dozen firearms in their houses.
(Ok, officially, every man in switzerland should have his military assault rifle at home, so we would theoretically have a high density of firearms, but they aren't allowed to have bullets in them or use them and most people don't have to ever be in the military anymore.)

We've just got a different mentality, well some of us. the US is a very game-rich land, so we have a lot of people hunting, there's also a good number of people that just like to shoot at targets. In short, they've worked their way into a recreation for us. It's not really like on our media, where the people who own guns routinely end up using them against other suitably armed people.

I've met my share of people who think I'm crazy for enjoying the latter, but it's just as much of a hobby as painting or video games. A lot of them also do airsoft or paintball...weird.

I actually got some of my friends that share a house a shotgun for Christmas...now they're ready for the zombie uprising as well :smallwink:

[Jimp]

Buh buh buh!

Alright, I know you're probably joking, but important distinction:

Americans are not gun crazy.

Some Americans are gun crazy. In some states.

I apologize in advance for the rant about to come, but I've been trekking through the more...multinational parts of teh intarwebz lately, and there's one thing I think a lot of people don't get:

America is less like a single country and more like Europe--there's an extreme amount of variety from location to location. There isn't a single stereotype out there that applies universally.

For example: people in California are usually decently skinny, have no firearms, know jack squat about geography and aren't jingoistic. There are others states like this.

It is fundamentally impossible to make any blanket statement about Americans.

Wise words that are easily forgotten.

[13_CBS]

Then I must disagree with Mr. Brooks. He is an entertainer, not an authority on medieval armour and weapons. Additionally, I don't think he's ever worn a custom-fitted suit of plate, made to his precise measurements. He knows not whereof he speaks.

If you're just trying to flee, wearing plate will be up to you, I think. You won't lose much in freedom of movement, but that IS an extra 60 pounds or so that you're carrying, 60 pounds that could instead be used for, for example, extra food/water in case of a zombie emergency.

If you're going hunting, though, you'd be freaking Terminator with plate on. If you're ever stuck in a position where zombies manage to claw your armor open, either your armor wasn't made very well or you're in such a bad position that it wouldn't matter if you're in plate armor or not. Really, if you've been dogpiled by zombies without any means of escape, you're screwed any way you go.

Zombies won't bite through steel, baby. :smallbiggrin:

[Rutskarn]

Also, I think it was implied that a mob of zombies would eventually deplate one.

It is also possible that he was only referring to the great majority of people, who are not trained in the use of plate armor, are not conditioned to its weight and have not been fitted to it.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Lesee:

Step one is jump out of bed, throw on jeans, belt and strap multi-tool.

The relise how stupid I'm being, put on a shirt and my denim jacket, and strap a second belt across my torso in a manner where it could be drawn quickly.

Thats right, I'm fighting the Horde with a leather belt.

Don't underestimate me, Nazi Zomboid Aliens, it will be the last thing that happens in your facisit, extraterrestial unlife.

[Ms.Malbolge]

Well my ex did some yard work at my house and left his machete... So I would definitely grab that.

Would the fact me and my friends refer to it as 'The Emasculator' give me bonus points?

[UncleWolf]

Well my ex did some yard work at my house and left his machete... So I would definitely grab that.

Would the fact me and my friends refer to it as 'The Emasculator' give me bonus points?

I'd say that would be a definite yes.:smallbiggrin:

[Innis Cabal]

Probably not, but it adds you to the list of viable party members

[Sneak]

Hmm. I'd probably go with my metal baseball bat. Although it's probably too small for me now...I haven't used it in years.

Alternatively, I could just take my cats and throw them at my enemies. :smallamused:

[Jack Squat]

Hmm. I'd probably go with my metal baseball bat. Although it's probably too small for me now...I haven't used it in years.

I still keep my bat from 3rd grade around because I can swing it easily one-handed. Drive some re-bar through and fill it with Concrete, and you've got a pretty awesome anti-zombie mace.

[Ascension]

I think that Ms. Malbolge with "The Emasculator" (ninja type, fast, does heavy damage, but fragile), Thanatos with belt of death (improbable weapon user, probably badass), Harness in armor (tank), Xavius with cat (caster and familiar), Illiterate Scribe with acid (also a caster), and Blinky with chopsticks of doom kali sticks (martial-arts-based badass) we'd have a pretty good CRPG cast. We just need a Big Guy with an improbably large bludgeoning weapon (no, bigger than the crowbars and bats).

[UncleWolf]

We just need a Big Guy with an improbably large bludgeoning weapon (no, bigger than the crowbars and bats).

That would be me. 8lb splitting maul.
I am very effective with it actually.

[Ascension]

That would be me. 8lb splitting maul.

And there you have it, folks. The GitP vs. Nazi Alienoid Zombies (& Cyber-Ninja Monkeys) CRPG cast.

[Da Beast]

All I have in my house is a hiking stick and some kitchen knives. I'm in trouble when the zombie Nazis arrive :smalleek:

[UncleWolf]

In case no one knows what a splitting maul looks like.
Here it is:

http://www.northerntool.com/images/product/images/119912_lg.jpg


I have used one for years and I can tell you that it would be very deadly to anything that has a weakness.

Zombie, Nazi, Alien, or the three combined.

[BRC]

Upon a quick search, I found a hefty looking axe in the basement. I'm not strong enough to wield it effectivly in battle, but it might be useful for breaking inanimate objects, or as a trap for the Alien Nazi Zombies.

Question? Do the Alien Nazi Zombies fear fire?

[Shraik]

My starting weapon? Hmmm....of all the things in my house.... hmmm?

...Banjo

[Yulian]

Heh...too easy.

Well, I'd need to decide between my 8-round .357 magnum revolver of the Mossberg model 500 12 gauge shotgun under my bed.

Actually has a total of three firearms in his house.

I also have access to a good, offroad Jeep Wrangler.

I'm good to go when the zompocalypse comes down.

- Yulian

[Rutskarn]

Heh...too easy.

Well, I'd need to decide between my 8-round .357 magnum revolver of the Mossberg model 500 12 gauge shotgun under my bed.

Actually has a total of three firearms in his house.

I also have access to a good, offroad Jeep Wrangler.

I'm good to go when the zompocalypse comes down.

- Yulian

Did I forget to mention that by "starting weapon", I mean melee?

[Fawkes]

My answers depends on where I am. If I'm at my home in Houston, I'd probably go with a baseball bat or a shovel. We might have some other useful gardening tools, though.

If school's in session and I'm at my apartment up here in Waco, I'm more limited. I'd have to go with a hefty kitchen knife (I've got a few nice ones) or a rubber mallet. (like this (http://www.northerntool.com/images/product/images/150104_lg.jpg), not like this (http://www.okermans.com/kidswow/Image%20Files/Tools%20Images/DSC08281.jpg)). Oh! And a frying pan! If I wanted range, I'm limited to a Guitar Hero controller or a bike pump. Maybe I could take apart one of these stools...

[kpenguin]

The cutscene begins.

Nazi Zomboid Aliens are conquering the earth, with the help of their Cyborg Ninja Monkeys. Entire cities are now engulfed in pretty, but not in any dynamic or gameplay effecting, flames. Cover Rubble litters the streets.

You awaken in your house. Something needs to be done. And that something is killing all of them.

Straightforward enough.

You then select your starting, mapped-to-the-1-key melee weapon.

What is it?

Rules:

1.) It has to actually be in your house

2.) It has to be plausibly portable (swords are okay, claymores not quite as much)

3.) It can't have a finite power source (chainsaws, weed whackers)

Mine: I don't have a wrecking crowbar, so I guess I'd make do with a claw hammer or hatchet.

My first question upon reading this was "what is a zomboid?" I quickly googled it and the definition, according to Urban Dictionary, is:



Zomboid

people who follow the shell of an existance without questioning. Going through the motions because they think its instinctive to do so. A franchise Football Club customer is one of these.

Knowing this, what do I know for sure about our enemies?


They follow Nazi ideology
They do so blindly and without thinking
They from SPAAAACE!


Now, my conclusion from these pieces of information is that the invaders are in fact descendants of a lost Nazi space colony who have been slowly brainwashed by videotapes of Nazi propganda and now return to conquer the Earth in the name of the Third Reich.

Thus, my weapon of choice shall be a simple yet effective American flag, because everyone knows that the Nazis shudder before the heroic colors of red, white and blue! Plus, I can whack them over the head with the flagpole.

[GoC]

We just need a Big Guy with an improbably large bludgeoning weapon (no, bigger than the crowbars and bats).

I'm 6ft 6" and I'm using a 5ft ironwood staff so...

[Fawkes]

I've discovered I also have a camera tripod and a plunger.

Zombies gonna get plunged.

[Zeful]

All I have in my house is a hiking stick and some kitchen knives. I'm in trouble when the zombie Nazis arrive :smalleek:

Your lucky, I'm far to finicky to consider my kitchen knives as weapons, so I've got nothing except insectaphobia and some decent hiding skills.

Well there are three bows in my closet, but fail to have unlimited ammo, and I can't actually use them.

[Fawkes]

You can use the plunger.

[theguyintherobe]

Taking a quick glance around my house, I have a splitting maul (big ax), some shovels, a pick ax, an ice-chopper (a big stick with basically a cleaver on the end of it) a bunch of carving knives, and my husky.
I would probably take my husky, with the splitting maul, and then that foot-long stainless steel carving knife if one of them grappled me. It's on.

[rankrath]

My starting weapon? Easy:

Take some aluminum and iron oxide (yes, I have some lying around my house), pack into a ceramic tube, and add a magnesium wick. When the Zombies come, light the magnesium and posses the best flamethrower on the planet. And it fits the rules too, when the thermite runs out, smack stuff with the tube.

[cody.burton]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halligan_bar

There is nothing a Halligan bar cannot do.

[Fawkes]

Can it see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

[Zeful]

I don't know if there's a plunger at my house, Mechafox, but I'd be better off braving a quick stealth section to get to work and make myself a decent 5" stabbing knife, then running full stealth and engaging only the necessary amount of targets.

[Jack Squat]

My starting weapon? Easy:

Take some aluminum and iron oxide (yes, I have some lying around my house), pack into a ceramic tube, and add a magnesium wick. When the Zombies come, light the magnesium and posses the best flamethrower on the planet. And it fits the rules too, when the thermite runs out, smack stuff with the tube.

Who doesn't have iron oxide lying around at home? I can't get rid of the stuff.

I'm a bit curious as to the magnesium though...I know I've got it in several forms, but none which I'd readily call wicks.

[rankrath]

Who doesn't have iron oxide lying around at home? I can't get rid of the stuff.

I'm a bit curious as to the magnesium though...I know I've got it in several forms, but none which I'd readily call wicks.

You can pick up a block of magnesium at most camping stores, they sell 'em as fire starters, it's a simple matter to use a saw to cut a few strips.

[RS14]

Here at school, weapon 1 is the knife on my pocket; weapon 2 is the wrench in my top desk drawer. The biggest delay in arming myself will be lacing my boots. Then, if possible, I'll head for the ROTC building.

At home, my spear will be primary, and my step-dad's entrenching tool secondary. We have also got a variety of axes, hammers, knives, pistols, and rifles to choose from. Also my great-grandmother's ice-pick. The firearms are mostly weak calibers, though, and we don't stockpile ammo.

For the record, very few of the Americans I know own guns. My step-father does; most of my step-mother's extended family do (They're hunters); I've got an aunt and uncle who both own revolvers (Self defense; a man did once try to force entry into my aunt's studio, so she has brandished hers, but not used it, thanks to a timely arrival of the police), and I probably will someday (both for self-defense and target shooting).
On reflection, that's more than I had thought. Still, a majority of my family wants nothing to do with them.

[Jack Squat]

You can pick up a block of magnesium at most camping stores, they sell 'em as fire starters, it's a simple matter to use a saw to cut a few strips.

Yeah, I've got the fire starters, I just haven't really seen a reason to cut it up. I suppose if I were to want to make thermite, I would, but my first thought is to use a sparkler.

[chiasaur11]

Here at school, weapon 1 is the knife on my pocket; weapon 2 is the wrench in my top desk drawer. The biggest delay in arming myself will be lacing my boots. Then, if possible, I'll head for the ROTC building.

At home, my spear will be primary, and my step-dad's entrenching tool secondary. We have also got a variety of axes, hammers, knives, pistols, and rifles to choose from. Also my great-grandmother's ice-pick. The firearms are mostly weak calibers, though, and we don't stockpile ammo.

For the record, very few of the Americans I know own guns. My step-father does; most of my step-mother's extended family do (They're hunters); I've got an aunt and uncle who both own revolvers (Self defense; a man did once try to force entry into my aunt's studio, so she has brandished hers, but not used it, thanks to a timely arrival of the police), and I probably will someday (both for self-defense and target shooting).
On reflection, that's more than I had thought. Still, a majority of my family wants nothing to do with them.

Starting with a knife and a wrench?
Is your last name Shepard, by any chance?

[Fawkes]

Starting with a knife and a wrench?

I can do you one better.

Knife wrench!
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a180/theoriginalBudz/knifewrench.gif
For kids!

[Mr._Blinky]

I think that Ms. Malbolge with "The Emasculator" (ninja type, fast, does heavy damage, but fragile), Thanatos with belt of death (improbable weapon user, probably badass), Harness in armor (tank), Xavius with cat (caster and familiar), Illiterate Scribe with acid (also a caster), and Blinky with chopsticks of doom kali sticks (martial-arts-based badass) we'd have a pretty good CRPG cast. We just need a Big Guy with an improbably large bludgeoning weapon (no, bigger than the crowbars and bats).

Woohoo, I'm in the party!:smallbiggrin:

When the zombies invade, we'll have to all pick a good place to meet up.

[Rockphed]

For the funny version, I have a large, plastic, hollow blue bat that I would smack them around with. Since I named it the Motivator, it would probably lighten the mood considerably.

For the serious version, I have a hatchet(and several hammers) in my basement and a bat in my garage. I'm more familiar with the bat, having conquered several things with it, whereas I have only fought 2 trees with my hatchet.

Also, regarding gun-toting americans, I am not one, nor is my family, but my uncle has a large stash. If I had more money, I would invest in a good set of useful guns and learn their use. After all, the south might rise again. (http://www.threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2007-04-20)

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Fun thread! After a quick look in my basement, I think I would go with the rather large splitting axe I have. Kinda heavy, but delivers a mighty wollop, and can be used both as a chopping and a bludgeoning weapon. Although the pickaxe might be a viable option too...

[Drascin]

Reading this thread makes me jealous of my fellow playgrounders.

Truth. I had to look very hard (not to mention spend hours convincing my family that they could enter the house, I was not going to kill them) to get a shortspear, and people here have friggin' platemails and morningstars. I feel inadequate.

[MorhgorRB]

My choices are time dependant...

A.) (short time) : Ye olde broadsword. Good for the hacking of limbs! With the backup of the multipurpose crowbar.

B.) (moderate time) Second rate halberd. No, I don't have a real one, but I do have a fire axe and 6' of steel piping, along with a welding kit. No promises on quality, so choice A is included in B.

C.) (Loooong time, and useless) The hackenmilator of DEATH. ...a pair of bicycles, reaxled and geared for the seat to be in the middle, a wooden box built around it, and rotating blades across the front, powered by the pedalling.

D.) (Gag, and first choice weapon) Compound saw blade on a chain. Whoosh, whoosh.

[ZeroNumerous]

A very simple brick done up in a pair of belts. It vaguely resembles this well used item (http://www.thezombiehunters.com/index.php?strip_id=60). I do believe I have won. :smalltongue:

[Tichrondrius]

A metal pole that I keep under my bed. Imagine your standard quarter staff- except its made of metal. It also unscrews into nun-chucks. No, I can't use a quarter staff or nun-chucks properly. I'll just thwack things with it.

[factotum]

I think the best I could summon up would be a broom handle! So, I would therefore probably have to use the ancient martial art of RSLG* in order to survive...

* Run Screaming like a Little Girl

[ghost_warlock]

Hm. I think I found a good mug shot of our nazi zomboid aliens:
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/mmiii_gallery/82969.jpg

[UncleWolf]

Ghost, you need to stop posting pictures of yourself. They aren't going to scare us.:smalltongue:

[13_CBS]

Ghost, you need to stop posting pictures of yourself. They aren't going to scare us.:smalltongue:

http://members.airsoftcanada.com/digital_assasin/Forum%20Stuff/Misc/oh_snap.gif

[Studoku]

Dual wielded forks.

Practical and safe.

[OrigamiSamurai]

On reflection, that's more than I had thought. Still, a majority of my family wants nothing to do with them.

It seems to me (a not-so-skinny San Diego Californian who doesn't own guns personally and has never surfed) that there's a pretty stark line drawn when it comes to guns in America.

There are a whole lot of people who want absolutely nothing to do with them. There are many of my family, friends, etc who feel *very* strongly agains guns.

I'm sort of the middle ground. I enjoy them for sporting but I'm not going to go out of my way to purchase one (or risk the waves it would make in my happy relationship) or keep one of the heirloom firearms around.

Then there's my brother, the gun nut. This is where the reloading station, the lead-melting pot, the empty casings, the gunpowder, the safe, etc come in. It is my personal belief that the Americans who *do* own guns take it upon themselves, whether consciously or not, to have enough so that when the aliens/zombies/Nazis/Commies/rabid animals/looters/rioters/angry ex-lovers attack, they personally and everyone in their immediate household will have at least one firearm. I think per capita every person in America would have at least one firearm if they happened to distribute them evenly.

Oh, and maybe it's just because I'm in California, but I know plenty of left-wing (politically speaking) gun owners. Sometimes people are surprised by this.

[Eldan]

Since it's wearing red, that's actually a communist skeletoid alien, the deadly enemy of the nazi zomboid alien. They have come to earth to settle their battle once and for all.

[Ascension]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halligan_bar

There is nothing a Halligan bar cannot do.

That actually reminds me a lot of the descriptions of the thing they end up mass producing in World War Z.


If I had more money, I would invest in a good set of useful guns and learn their use. After all, the south might rise again. (http://www.threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2007-04-20)

People here stockpile weapons for much the same reason. Only I'm on the other side of the border. :smallbiggrin:

Nah, kidding, a lot of Southerners have guns because a lot of Southerners hunt. For the most part it's not actually because we're planning another civil war.


Since it's wearing red, that's actually a communist skeletoid alien, the deadly enemy of the nazi zomboid alien. They have come to earth to settle their battle once and for all.

Whoever wins, Poland loses?

[three08]

given my options, i had better hope this is a stealth game.... in which case, screwdriver. i do have a knife, but i'm still sticking with the screwdriver. why? style, friend. style.

[Archonic Energy]

I think the best I could summon up would be a broom handle! So, I would therefore probably have to use the ancient martial art of RSLG* in order to survive...

* Run Screaming like a Little Girl

a Mc Squiddy fan? :smallamused:

@V a Sliders fan... (or is that Voyager?)

[Fri]

Maybe this would work better?

http://www.startrek.com/imageuploads/200407/ent-077-nazi-alien/240x320.jpg


They must possess some threat, but at the same time they must be 'beatable' enough for this thread to work.

[GoC]

Hm. I think I found a good mug shot of our nazi zomboid aliens:

So, fragile and unsteady...
They are goin down!:smallamused:

[Coidzor]

I find it sad now that the best weapon I have available to me right now is a toss up between a large skillet/saute pan that weighs a good 5-8 pounds and 3-inch bladed folding knife.

I'd probably go with the skillet until the skillet came off of the handle and just use the handle from then on, though. The knife would be more of a tool/part of a messkit, methinks, since it's got a fork and spoon attachment as well...x.x

Used to have a fair length of rebar and a folding scooter here in my dorm that would've been better since the one would double as a faster mode of transportation and the other wouldn't have much to worry about durability. The railroad spikes I had for my amusement would just be too short of a range, the same with the small claw hammer from my tool kit and the knives I have.

Back home I have a tomahawk, dirk, and a couple of woodsmans' axes/mauls as well as a machete or two, but I'd have to share those, theoretically, with my family.

Hmm, my roomie seems to not have anything other than his... tennis racket and light-weight vaccumn cleaner himself...

[BRC]

I would probably use a knife (If these things bleed), or a claw hammer (if they don't) as a close weapon, and we've got some wooden poles in the basement that I could, with some glue and duct tape I could turn into a spear.

[Telonius]

Let's see. Likely weapons around my house: Pitchfork, Shovel, Crowbar. I think I'll have to go with Pitchfork. What if the rest of the resistance just brings torches? Not having a single pitchfork among us would be totally embarrassing.

[Mr._Blinky]

Let's see. Likely weapons around my house: Pitchfork, Shovel, Crowbar. I think I'll have to go with Pitchfork. What if the rest of the resistance just brings torches? Not having a single pitchfork among us would be totally embarrassing.

But by that logic, what if everyone else in the resistance thinks the same thing, and know one brings torches? Then what would you use for light/lighting things on fire?

[chiasaur11]

But by that logic, what if everyone else in the resistance thinks the same thing, and know one brings torches? Then what would you use for light/lighting things on fire?

Pocket matches?

[Eldan]

Well, torches are probably easier to improvise than pitchforks, so...

[BRC]

Do what I do, wrap an oil-soaked rag around your pitchfork and light it on fire, making a Torchfork

[Rutskarn]

Do what I do, wrap an oil-soaked rag around your pitchfork and light it on fire, making a Torchfork

Clearly, you haven't been reading my blog enough. (http://www.chocolatehammer.org/?page_id=106)

[Fredthefighter]

I take the Katana off the wall and start whacking bozos. Simple as. Possibly a snooker pole for more stealth related attacks.

[late for dinner]

Only weapon I got at my place that I live is my metal baseball bat

my parents house, on the other hand has all sorts of garden tools....an axe, and rolling pin and knives

[BRC]

Hmm, would training and using a group of rabid attack hobos count as a "Weapon"...

[Fredthefighter]

Hmm, would training and using a group of rabid attack hobos count as a "Weapon"...

Attack my hobo brethren! Smite them with glass bottles and mangled insanity!

[Ganurath]

Bread Knife if they have exposed flesh, otherwise that shovel in the garage with the head that's over a foot long for deep digging. After I detach said long head and move it to the spade so it's a portable size.

Or, if pressed for time, I have... 43 empty root beer bottles in my bedroom, 5 of which are presently within arm's reach.

[Eldan]

:
Hmm, would training and using a group of rabid attack hobos count as a "Weapon"...

Only if you have them at home, for the purpose of this thread :smallamused:

[BRC]

:

Only if you have them at home, for the purpose of this thread :smallamused:
Well, I've got A few of them, Jojo is clear Alpha Hobo material though, and we've got enough of them in the nearbye alleys to make a decently sized pack given an hour, some liquor bottles, and 3 cans of beans.

[kpenguin]

Clearly, you haven't been reading my blog enough. (http://www.chocolatehammer.org/?page_id=106)

Can you be my starting weapon? I mean, your shameless self-advertising would be enough to scare any nazi zomboid alien away.

[Laharal]

A few knives (2 chef knives: slashing, 2 piercing, 1 ham fork: piercing and looking like a freak) a few little steak knives (throwing or multitask purposes) and the thing you use to sharpen your knives. For smashing purposes :2 legs from my table: sturdy, with abolt, easy to handle and already red. I' d take a bed sheet to tie the legs to my back for travelling purposes. Also, I could bring my little wood (but lethal) stool and the two oher legs for somebody.
Ascension you are missing somebody: the logistic guy: I'm living near a super market: food for us, good place to barricade or to lure zombies in. I got 2 car dealers within a 1 minute-running distance, a tool shop 5 minutes away, a mini van and 6 wheel-vans renter nearby, a Canadian Tire store nearby (everything sharp, supplies, tools and maybe firearms). I'm logic, organized and imaginative. I would be the guy that would organize things so no one would run out of anything. Also, I'm Canadian, so if you come all up to my place, Zombies would freeze a little bit (so break easier), I got a univ nearby (computers and locking doors). Finally, it is a movie cliche that the most dangerous guy is the logic/safe one when he decides to go berserk..especially while dual-wielding two table legs.
P.S. two highways are accessible (45 seconds and the other 2 minutes) If we got to hit the breaks..... ;)
A big furniture/electronic store behind my app too so we could barricade things quite efficiently ;)
P.S.2: My little bro is quick, strong , crazy and probably have enough constitution to survive zombie bites.. would be an asset for our two tanks ;)

So what do you say? :smallwink:

[Saint Nil]

Maul Axe, a mixture between a sledge hammer and an axe. Good for more than just firewood.:smallamused:

[Fan]

A replica high carbon steel buster sword.
Doe obvious reasons.

[Saint Nil]

Question, could we use a party sysmtem in this? If so, I beleive Fanboy and I have some "cleaning up to do". Up for it?:smallamused:

What of support weapons? Personally, I say we pack along five weapons each.

[Ganurath]

If multiples are an option, I'm jacking my dad's tonfas and joining Fanboy and Nil's adventuring group.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I could grab a hatchet or saw from my dad's shop.... If I had enough time to make it across the backyard and into either his shop or his shed, I'd have a plethora of heavy, awkward weaponry, like sledgehammers, sledgeaxes, a good solid pickaxe, and a variety of good head-breakin' hammers. A pitchfork'd properly work real nice, too.

Sure, any one'd be heavy and kind of unweildly, but I bet swinging it around would give me a bit more leg room.

[Rockphed]

Do what I do, wrap an oil-soaked rag around your pitchfork and light it on fire, making a Torchfork

I have been in the design stages of a Torchfork for about 2 years now. No stealing my idea!

[Fan]

Question, could we use a party sysmtem in this? If so, I beleive Fanboy and I have some "cleaning up to do". Up for it?:smallamused:

What of support weapons? Personally, I say we pack along five weapons each.

Heh, the buster Sword IS a support weapon Saint Nil.
Also, up for it?
I was BORN up for it.:smallamused:

[Ascension]

So what do you say? :smallwink:

I'd say yes, but I think we've already been upstaged by the kid with the buster sword. In order to escalate this I'll have to start claiming that in addition to wielding lightsabers I have Jedi powers, and from there things will just turn into a fictional one-upmanship contest as people start claiming to have suitcase nukes and necronomicons and who knows what else...

[Jalor]

My cheap katana. I practice with it often enough, and I'd just grab it from behind the door and start killing mooks.

[Canadian]

I have a 12" long Japanese spear.

Since the aliens are assisted by ninja cyborg monkeys I'd also bring a bunch of bananas from the kitchen.

I throw a banana down and when the monkey goes for it - Bam with the spear!

To distract the Nazi Zomboids I'd bring my accountant. He's Jewish. When they attack my accountant - Bam with the tax return... I mean spear! Yeah...

[Fan]

I'd say yes, but I think we've already been upstaged by the kid with the buster sword. In order to escalate this I'll have to start claiming that in addition to wielding lightsabers I have Jedi powers, and from there things will just turn into a fictional one-upmanship contest as people start claiming to have suitcase nukes and necronomicons and who knows what else...
HEY! I paid ALOT of money for my buster sword replica....
its not the ginormous thing that cloud wields (6 ft is abit much) but its still damned big. >.>
Also, Necronomicon?!?! HA!
I have Cthulhu on Speed Dial. :smalltongue:

[Ganurath]

I have Cthulhu on Speed Dial. :smalltongue:Where'd you get my cell phone num- Er, so am I in the party?

[UncleWolf]

Also, Necronomicon?!?! HA!
I have Cthulhu on Speed Dial. :smalltongue:

Is that all?
I raise Hounds of Tindalos.:smallbiggrin:

By the way, Nyarlathotep wants his dice back.

[BRC]

Is that all?
I raise Hounds of Tindalos.:smallbiggrin:

By the way, Nyarlathotep wants his dice back.
That's nothing, I play poker with 3 of the 4 horsemen of the apocolypse (Famine isn't allowed to come because the rest of us like to have some food while we play)

Also, I have an army of attack hobos, that speaks for itself.

[Fan]

Heh, well I have Super man, and wel Everyone knows that since he became immune to Kryptonite its been damnded near impossible to kill him.
Also with Cthulhu comes the Great old ones.
And they unmake EVERYTHING by awaking.

[Thanatos 51-50]

I think that Ms. Malbolge with "The Emasculator" (ninja type, fast, does heavy damage, but fragile), Thanatos with belt of death (improbable weapon user, probably badass), Harness in armor (tank), Xavius with cat (caster and familiar), Illiterate Scribe with acid (also a caster), and Blinky with chopsticks of doom kali sticks (martial-arts-based badass) we'd have a pretty good CRPG cast. We just need a Big Guy with an improbably large bludgeoning weapon (no, bigger than the crowbars and bats).

Lots of disarms, strangulations, immoblisations, and other such moves, actually. I'm not really much good with a "gaseous" weapon, but I'm learning.
Plus, its thick and leather and hitting people with the buckle hurts in a pinch, with enough length to get some decent speed in on a swing.

In other news:
Woo!
Thanatos joined the party
He brought the mountain dew (aka, health potions)

[chiasaur11]

Well, if we're playing high power speed tag, I got a piece of luggage that's been irritatingly hard to get rid of. And the official Doreen Green signal watch.

[toasty]

I have a hollow iron rod in my house. That and some kitchen knives, none of which are probably that useful.

I also have this strange blue hollow "training" baseball bat that we never threw out.

[UltraDude]

I have a hefty but not really... heavy double-edged hatchet out back in the shed. This will be an awesome weapon. We also have an... it's something. We used it to chop ice, but it would probably damage a zombie pretty bad too. Aside from that, assorted gardening tools like metal shovels and hoes for the whole family.

Then we high tail it to the nearby armory, where my U.S. Army National Guard friend - an ammo supply guy, no less - probably uses the panic to make sure everyone he cares about is well armed. M-4 is a sexy, sexy weapon.

[Xsesiv]

Depends if I could get to the shed. In there is a plethora of sledge-hammers, saws, pick-axes, hoes, rakes and shovels. Logs for the fire, though short, would make a good short-range club if the worst comes to the worst. Assorted knives and rolling-pins in the kitchen downstairs. Chairs if it's essential. I have a small guitar amp in my room I could swing with quite some force, and an electric guitar to go with it which I could club zombies with and sling over my shoulder by the strap if I wasn't using it. And I could entertain people with the ensemble if we get sieged. If it was desperate beyond desperate, I could use the metal casing of my beloved computer's tower.

So yeah I have a lot of choice.

Or I plan too much for zombie attacks.

[Saint Nil]

Thank you toasty, UltraDude,Xsesiv and for getting this thread back to real weapons. Anyway, Thantos, AKA med-kit, stay by me.:smallwink:

[Copacetic]

Long wooden stick in the room with me. Very good for basking stuff, and pretty long range. Bread knife, and other sharp objects in the Kitchen. Axe, Hoe, and sharp pointy thing that looks like a spear in the Garage. 'd off alright. Take as many knifes as I can, plus the axe and maybe another weapon.

[JerryMcJerrison]

I've got a really nice wooden dao. Otherwise, I think all of our yard tools are either too old and brittle to use for long, or too cumbersome to want to use for long.

*looks around*

Actually, now that I think of it, I could take one of the supports off these metal shelves I have, its just a sturdy metal pipe with a wheel on the end.

[Knaight]

I have a few options, including a big meat cleaver, rolling pin, and some belts with somewhat heavy buckles. However, if I have any time at all I'm grabbing my woven nylon sling, which when strung out is about 6 feet long, and tying a heavy rock to one end. I should still have about five and a half feet, with a heavy rock on the end. A brick on the end of a belt is for sissies. This would give me enough time to get to the shed, and grab a sledge hammer, an impractical weapon, at 14 pounds, but usable against incredibly slow, lumbering zombies. Grabbing a tree trimmer (think scissors, but with 2 three foot long poles on the handle side, and a three inch blade on the other, that opens and closes. It could stab), and a lighter hammer is a good idea at this point, as is a crow bar. And I'm taking a welding torch, but that has limited fuel.

So basically:
Six foot sling with heavy rock on one end.
Sledge Hammer.
Normal Hammer.
Tree Trimmer.
Welding Torch.
Crow Bar.

This buys me enough time to turn off the power in my house, run wires between a few wall sockets, turn power back on, and have an improvised electric fence death trap.

[Jack Squat]

This buys me enough time to turn off the power in my house, run wires between a few wall sockets, turn power back on, and have an improvised electric fence death trap.

The death trap'd be yours.

What you'd be doing there is basically shorting out the circuits, which will cause a fire. What you'd want to do is set up a grid so that there's one charge going across the gap (in a fence like form), and another along the ground (like a mat). This only works assuming parties are barefoot, so another option would be making the top half one charge and the bottom half another, although that's less likely to take out the nazi zomboid aliens. Still can be very lethal, but it's less likely.

Of course, if I were doing it, have it set up so that the socket charges up a (very large) capacitor, so it'd be less likely to short out the circuit. Kinda like a vamped up electric cattle fence.

[Laharal]

Kinda like a vamped up electric cattle fence.

Cattle fence? Now you are talking.... Offensive defense... my fav ; )

[Ravens_cry]

Some long kitchen knives,
A cast iron frying pan.
A thick wooden katana two handed 'sword'.
One of those metal 'swords' kids make in metal shop.
A bottle of olive oil, for a Molotov cocktail.
I think I have some rubbing alcohol too.
A large squeeze bottle of hot sauce, for impromptu mace
Bleach, ditto.
Some pillow cases and canned food might come in handy.

[nothingclever]

My bare hands.

[Fri]

I like your way of thinking. I expect nothing less from you. Especially since this isn't a normal zombie apocalypse, and a swift kick on the nazi zomboid's nuts might do the trick as good as a crowbar on the head.

[Narmoth]

Woodslayer axe.
In the car my father have a small axe and a knife
In the basement, we have axes, crowbars, wrenches and so on
In the kitchen we have long knives.
I think I have a rather good choice of weapons
Also, sealing of parts of the basement, we could stand a zombie siege for months.

[Narmoth]

Woodslayer axe.
In the car my father have a small axe and a knife
In the basement, we have axes, crowbars, wrenches and so on
In the kitchen we have long knives.
I think I have a rather good choice of weapons
Also, sealing of parts of the basement, we could stand a zombie siege for months.

[TheFallenOne]

hm tough call. In my room I have a nice big dagger that's pretty sharp, but it's more decoration than a weapon and would be a bit too heavy, for a shortrange weapon I'd want more speed.
Also I have a throwing spear I ditched from school years ago, it has a point and gives me reach, of course it would be awkward to handle because it's intended to be thrown and not used as a polearm.

In the garage I could get a shovel. Pity I don't have a folding spade, those are easy to carry and a nasty weapon.

I think I'd go for the shovel. It's sturdy, has more range than the dagger and the flat metal blade could easily split a human skull if I sharpen it.

...Yes I'm siding with the aliens here, so what? Cyborg Ninja Monkeys sounds awesome.

[Jimp]

My bare hands.

http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/867/30039445.JPG

[Lupy]

The pole from my Manhasset music stand. It weighs a good five pounds, and is about three feet long.

[chiasaur11]

hm tough call. In my room I have a nice big dagger that's pretty sharp, but it's more decoration than a weapon and would be a bit too heavy, for a shortrange weapon I'd want more speed.
Also I have a throwing spear I ditched from school years ago, it has a point and gives me reach, of course it would be awkward to handle because it's intended to be thrown and not used as a polearm.

In the garage I could get a shovel. Pity I don't have a folding spade, those are easy to carry and a nasty weapon.

I think I'd go for the shovel. It's sturdy, has more range than the dagger and the flat metal blade could easily split a human skull if I sharpen it.

...Yes I'm siding with the aliens here, so what? Cyborg Ninja Monkeys sounds awesome.

But... THEY'RE NAZIS!

[Z-dan]

hmm... If I had any, my preferred weapon would be nunchucks.
Instead, I'll have to make do with Legolas' dual daggers. Or My hunting knives. Or I could just wait for them to come to me, then when they arrive I open the kitchen door- although in undeath zombies wont die of the smell, the bacteria in the spores probably would. Or possibly make them more dangerous, but it's a risk worth taking.
Either way, I'd like to think I'm pretty well prepared for a zombie apocalypse :smallbiggrin:

[Canadian]

A large cat.

[skywalker]

Ooh, fun game. Now, if they're zombies, that's very different from zomboid.

Because depending on toughness/ability to take major blood/tendon loss, I'd pick either the baseball bat (a rather decisive weapon) or the "Vietnam Tactical Tomahawk." I have seen someone absolutely rip apart a target dummy with that 'hawk. But a zombie is a little different. So it depends on how many parts zombie are mixed with how many parts nazi.

I have a plethora of weapons in my house, but most of them are not human powered. Not that I personally find that a problem. There's probably enough ammo here for those weapons to kill a space-cruiser full, too.

[Eldrys]

Totally my dads machete(SP?), its a good 3 feet and its really sharp (reason my dads got it is that he bought an acre of overgrown pasture and thought it would be a good idea to clear a path), or mabye the colapsable scythe with crazy sharp, replaceable, blades ( he has the scythe because he thougt it would be better for clearing a trail than the machete but only had this thought after he bought the machete).

But seriously if I lived in a normal household (AKA my house without the farming equipment and such) I would use my metal bat from peewee baseball its frickin hard its about as long as the machete and friggin hurts to get hit in the head with, I know from personal experience.

[kyoten]

Tie between a length of chain or some good strong rope.

Chain

suffocation
reinforcement
tripping
damage
entanglement


Rope
suffocation
utility
traps
entanglement


Probably go with chain finding rope wouldn't be too hard.

[Aergoth]

Given the number of things that could be purposed as weapons within my house, I'd have to go with...
either the slightly longer than average crowbar in my garage or the scabbard to the antique (and dull as butter) sabre in the basement. I can do damage with either, but one is lighter and easier to swing than the other, but less durable.

Final verdict: The Sabre: I'll pick up a crowbar somewhere else maybe. After I get the facial hair to pull of a Gordon Freeman impression. Worst comes to worst, I can use the actual blade to jam a door, but I prefer fighting with a light weapon that I can block with, without hazard to myself. The various exterior widgets serve as a hilt, so I don't need to worry about an upwards slip, and it's fairly well worn so the friction is there. Maybe tape it up (duct tape or hockey tape?) and pack it with something to add to the durability. Taking shocks from his wouldn't do it any good in any case.

Death traps though? Bull**** on that. If I had to last out a zombie siege, I'd hole up in my basement. There's only one door. It's in the bottom of my house, out of sight to anyone entering by any means for at least three seconds. There's enough stuff in there to barricade it firmly and the only window is about a half a foot or so high by two wide. No one could fit through there. It's got electrical sockets, a few coolers and a mattress. Move a microwave down there and I could subsist until the power went out. At that point I'd figure the initial hostilities would be over and it would be safe to start moving about again. I'm under "crazy prepared" and "genre-savvy" in cases like this.

[wadledo]

Either a hunting knife, a big ol' stick, or my cat.
(I do have swords, but they're Knights of Columbus)

My cat's frackin' scary, BTW.
Put him on a leash and you got your ultima weapon right here.

[Terry576]

An Egyptian sword. I actually do have that in my house to. If not, I'll go for my baseball bat or throw a lava lamp at them.

[Berserk Monk]

Baseball bat

[horngeek]

An umbrella. You can whack with it, stab or slash with it.

[Comet]

My brain. Because I can kill with it.
No, I can't.

[Remmirath]

I'd go for my sword, first. It's the most practical for several reasons - I have at least some idea how to use it, it's sharp, and it has a scabbard so I can carry it around while doing other things (like running from the alien zombies before I make my stand).

A bow and arrows seems like it's unlikely to be very effective against zombies, so if for some reason I couldn't get my sword, I'd grab some knives from the kitchen.

[Rutskarn]

An umbrella. You can whack with it, stab or slash with it.

Has someone read A Fine Balance?

If not, someone should, provided they have a high threshold for Holy Hot Coals and Horsewhipping Batman This Book is Disturbing.

[Rae Artemi]

I Would use my dad's barbell (10-15 lbs, 5 ft reach) with the dumbells as backup (2-3 lbs, 1.5 ft reach each.)
That or the shovel and the hatchet.
Or the cat, it's meow would make them run, Quickly.
Or my bokken.
Or these really light 7 ft boards I just found.
or the plunger.
Or the rail from my top bunk.
Or the table.
or my toolbox.
Or I could dump my basket of pennies (11 lbs) into a pair of socks/ a pillowcase.
Or I could raid the shoe closet.
or I could use my dad's golf clubs.
or the pieces of my old bed.
Or the trash bags full of miscellanious objects in my garage.
Or the vineyard supports
or the old printer.
or my desk doors.
or a pillowcase full of pool/golf balls.
or the christmas tree.
Or my shelves.
or my giant anatomy book.
Or the teapots.
or various pans.
Or the new printer. or my dad's barbell with weights on the end.
Or many spoons/knives/forks/pizza cutters/whisks/tongs/spatulas/roast skewers/corn on te cob skewers.

I have too many choices.

[Yulian]

Did I forget to mention that by "starting weapon", I mean melee?

Double-sided camping axe made from old spring steel with a wooden handle.

Or I could beat them with the butt of the shot gun...or pistol-whip them.

- Yulian

[Steven the Lich]

My unholy powers over ice and undeath...
Well, come on, who wouldn't find that in the house of a lich?

In real life? Hmmm... Lets see... Well... I have a book... a binder with paper... Cell phone... cats and dogs... How does using a vacuum cleaner sound? I know, it have finite power, but I'm talking about as a blunt object to swing.

[Myatar_Panwar]

For some reason my dad has a fairly decent Katana, so I would probably take that.

Though we also have a few wood chopping axes in various sizes, so one of those may be appropriate, hrm...

Actually no, Katana all the way. Aside from the fact that we all know that Katana's beat everything, all of our axes have loose 'heads' and would undoubtedly break off midswing while I'm fending off a swarm of these things.

[Thurbane]

Hmm, in my house? I have 1.5 ft kukri, or maybe a machete. I think I'd say...kukri. :smallsmile:

[cucchulainnn]

would any of these count?

http://www.ancientworlds.net/aw/HomesiteRoom/974838

i also have a 7 foot spear, a round viking type shield, riveted mail and a barbute helmet. Ohh I also have a twohanded Claymore, it weights 5 pounds and is fairly easy to carry aournd.

[OverdrivePrime]

Well, I do have a sharpened claymore with a speed-access backsheath... but apparently that's off the list even though it's only about 5 and a half pounds. Probably means my bastard sword is out too.

Ah well.

I've still got a nice ash bokken downstairs, which would actually make a great 'starting weapon' in any Dragon Warrior style RPG.

So I'll either grab the bokken or head into my work shop and grab a my crowbar for utility's sake. I think the bokken's got more style though. :smallbiggrin:

If I can make it to the garage, I've got my aluminum baseball bat, and any number of heavy metal poles and lumber axes... but no, the Bokken stays, just in case I run into any vampire cyborg nazi monkeys and need to put one in torpor. :smallbiggrin:

[Syne]

An M16 assault rifle. :D

But I only have one magazine :( when that runs out, I could use an old axe (single bladed), a large hammer, this laptop, or a kitchen knife. When all else fails, I shall resort to my cutting wit and boyish good looks.

[Talwar]

Assuming my "house" includes the out-buildings of my farm, I will spend the better part of the morning deciding between:

-Several antique swords and one flail, plus several replica swords and a quasi-functional shield.

-Three pitchforks (one nicely rusty)

-Two crowbars

-An axe

-A hatchet

-A sickle

-A scythe (unlikely final choice unless my tactic is to cut the Cyborg Ninja Monkeys' feet off)

-Assorted pieces of lumber and rebar

-A big, rusty length of chain

-The dogs

I believe I would opt for shield, cavalry saber, and hatchet, with grubby overalls and leather duster for at least a bit of protection. I would also dupe my labrador retreiver into thinking the flail is a "kong" throw-toy, so that I have the option of flinging the flail at a target and getting it back courtesy of the happy hound.

[Erloas]

I think the "no claymore" clause comes from someone that really doesn't know much about actual weapons... here is a basic hint, if it wasn't light enough to be carried around all day and fought with in large fights then it never would have been developed as a weapon. The criteria for which claymores were designed in the first place fits exactly in-line with what this question is asking. One of the reasons they look so big in braveheart is because they found about the largest type they could and then gave it to a pretty short guy and just made it seem all the bigger.

Now if it were something like a lance, which is only designed to be used on horseback, well then thats a different story.


As for my own weapons... well I have a shortsword, but with the edge it has I don't think it would be good for much.
I have a black-powder rifle, and while its .50cal and will put a large hole in something, it will only do so once every few minutes. Might be worth carrying to ambush/start a fight but not a long term weapon.
I've also got a splitting maul, cross between a sledge hammer and an axe, weight of the hammer (and one side is blunt) with an axe head on the other. Designed specifically for splitting wood rather then chopping down trees. It would have great stopping power but wouldn't be practical if things got tight. It would also wear me out rather quickly.

The most practical weapon would probably be my SCA sword, while I use it all the time in a non-leathal context, without a helmet it would be very dangerous at least. And I wouldn't be any worse (probably better) then most of those people running around with crowbars.

Along with that I've got some armor and a helmet. Not sure how much the arm and leg armor would do, but the body armor might be of good use. The helmet would also make it much more difficult for zombies to get at my delicous brain. Depending on the types of zombies the shield may or may not be of much use.

Unfortunately my brother has the AK-47 and hes a few states away.
I would also probably take my truck because I think that would make a very practical weapon in a lot of situations. While it does require fuel, I've got most of a tank and thats good enough to run down a fair number of people and I could worry about it later. Its not like a chainsaw which probably wouldn't run more then an hour or two on a tank of gas.

[BizzaroStormy]

Well...I've got the Computer Repair Kit next to my desk. It consists of a 12 lb. sledgehammer. Seems like it would be pretty useful.

[thorgrim29]

A half brick and a sock.... had to be said. Other then that, wood axes, crappy, old and loose so no, hum..... maul, big and unwieldy, but could be a pretty devastating one shot weapon. I could probably improvise a mace of some kind with the old set of weights in the basement.... And sharpen a few hockey sticks for short spears.

[Rutskarn]

Well...I've got the Computer Repair Kit next to my desk. It consists of a 12 lb. sledgehammer. Seems like it would be pretty useful.

I'm not sure that the best thing to have around malfunctioning, frustrating electronics is a massive hammer.

[Jack Squat]

I'm not sure that the best thing to have around malfunctioning, frustrating electronics is a massive hammer.

I don't know of anything that hasn't benefited from some concussive maintenance.

[Hell Puppi]

Crowbar.

It has many other advantages as well.

[brandr]

Hmmmmm... Let's see... The double bit axe is nice, as are any of the 3 mauls, 2 pickaxes, a mattock... any number of sledgehammers, a 3.5 foot wrecking bar... i think i'd go with the axe. d12 for bersarkergang

[Yulian]

Hmm, in my house? I have 1.5 ft kukri, or maybe a machete. I think I'd say...kukri. :smallsmile:

Good choice. I see you have the "large" as opposed to the "holy crap!" size.

I have a 5-pound sledgehammer as well that I could easily wield single-handed. I have a old bokken in my closet from a class I took back in college, but really, unless you're pretty good with it, it's just a light stick and I'd prefer a baseball bat.

So, brandr, what sort of work (or hobby) do you have that requires picks and mattocks? You a rockhound?

- Yulian

[Copacetic]

I don't know of anything that hasn't benefited from some concussive maintenance.

Positive Child Development; Look into it. :smallwink:

[Thurbane]

Good choice. I see you have the "large" as opposed to the "holy crap!" size.
Both blades are a bit rusty - the kukri was like that when I got it from an antique dealer - the machete got rusty after I used it to clear some scrub at the back of my old house, and didn't clean the blade properly. P.S. I'm really quite a nice guy, I only look like a bit of a psycho in this pic! :smallbiggrin:
http://i39.tinypic.com/2uonjw9.jpg

[Raistlin1040]

Well, for portability, and ease of use, either dual-wielding steak knives, or using the machete in my garage. I'd also try to fix up a belt so I could carry some more knives either way. Of course, it'd be way easier if I were at my grandpa's house. He owns an authentic katana, a two-handed broadsword of some sort, a set of daggers, a two-foot bowie knife, and a pair of pistols.

[Dienekes]

Cool, I have a xiphos, spear, and aspis shield in my house.

According to the rules I can't use the spear so xiphos and spear. Maybe once I can afford that bastard sword that'll change.

[Collin152]

I happen to sleep with a staff within arms reach. I can make things hurt with it pretty well. I'd take that, and begin carving a bludgeoned, bloody swath through the aliens, Wuxia style. When I'm not fighting? It also serves as a walking stick. Also, I can hit people with it no matter where they are in relation to me; I practiced that specifically. Hell, I can throw the damned thign pretty well.

[Deadmeat.GW]

For me it would be either a bajonet, Franco-Prussian war, a scimitar or my arming sword.

On the other hand...if a claymore, 5 foot to 6 foot long is forbidden, would not any spear, hoe, quarterstaff also be forbidden?

My arming sword is 5 foot 2, with a 1 foot 3 grip included in that.
Total weight 3.9 pounds.

I could carry that around a heck of lot longer then a splitting maul or something similar.

Heck the scimitar is 3.6 pounds and with grip just over 4 foot long (if you straighten the blade 4.7 feet).

The bajonet is 4 foot 2 for 3 pounds too.

[Wakizashi]

Well, just in my room, I could choose between my trusty bokken, a pair of handmade kama, a pair of sai, a blunt katana, and rubber nun-chuks.

I think i'd take the katana and the bokken, along with the sai and the kama ( assuming i find a way to carry all this stuff effectively ) Plus some nice knives that're in the kitchen.

Wouldn't a Zombie Apocalypse be fun? :)

[hotel_papa]

A heavy meat cleaver for unavoidable stand-up melee, a collection of several three-foot lengths of twine for garrotes, and make my way to Home Depot and put some of this Marine Corps Combat Engineer knowledge to work making booby traps and mines.

[Demons_eye]

For melee I got part of my bed stand that comes off for some reason. Its like a mace but wooden and there are 2 of them. If I can get next door I can get an ax and some kind of blade brass knuckles.

For ranged My dads guns or bows, Tho I am only ok with the bow other wise I can not shoot.

[Executor]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f6/SMLE_Mk_III.jpg/800px-SMLE_Mk_III.jpg

The Lee-Enfield SMLE Mk. III, vintage 1916. My great-grandfather's trophy of the Great War. Still works smooth as the day it was built. It weighs 4kg, is effective at ranges of up to 500m, and has 10 round box magazine. Rugged and reliable, it is essentially the bolt-action equivalent of the AK-47 in terms of reliability. In skilled hands, a man with a Lee-Enfield can execute the Mad Minute, 30 aimed shots in 60 seconds.

Also, especially effective against Nazis. :smallamused:

[Jack Squat]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f6/SMLE_Mk_III.jpg/800px-SMLE_Mk_III.jpg

The Lee-Enfield SMLE Mk. III, vintage 1916. My great-grandfather's trophy of the Great War. Still works smooth as the day it was built. It weighs 4kg, is effective at ranges of up to 500m, and has 10 round box magazine. Rugged and reliable, it is essentially the bolt-action equivalent of the AK-47 in terms of reliability. In skilled hands, a man with a Lee-Enfield can execute the Mad Minute, 30 aimed shots in 60 seconds.

Also, especially effective against Nazis. :smallamused:

Not exactly "melee", also, how much .303 do you have stocked up?

[Executor]

Oh, melee, yeah *face palm*

In that case, a Louisville Slugger and/or the SMLE's bayonet, which doubles as a combat/utility knife

[Lerky]

either a screwdriver for zombie stabbing, or the big hunk o' wood right next to my computer that I can sharpen with a knife in the kitchen. I'd honestly grab a bunch of stuff such as hammers, kitchen knives, and pencil and just somehow attach them to my customised clothing (which now has trash can covers around it used as armor).

also I'd get a boz of matches and some hair spray for zombie toasting. Not really a melee weapon but usful nonetheless!:smallamused:

[Thurbane]

Not exactly "melee", also, how much .303 do you have stocked up?
Fix a bayonet, or go with a butt-smash. A wooden rifle is a surprisingly good melee weapon, even if it's not it's primary purpose...

[Nevrmore]

How many can we bring? I have an M1911A1, a shotgun and two hunting rifles that I've never actually bothered to check the make of. The hunting rifle would probably be better since the handgun would cover shorter distance, but man nothing's as cool as pumping a shotgun and striking a pose as the steaming shell flies by your face.

Or if I can't bring guns at all, the machete that we've never actually used before.

[Leon]

Two options spring to mind.

In my Walk In there is a 6ft PVC tube that has my bow in it and next to that is a 5ft length of wood (not sure what it actually is but looks and feels solid - that may fit inside the PVC at a squeeze)

[Kcalehc]

12" blade high carbon spring steel dagger, double edged and pointy, with sheath and belt loop. About the only melee ready item in my current place of abode (bar kitchen knives, which reminds me of the meat cleaver, thats got a pretty hefty balde too; maybe the wife can get that one ;) ).

[Jack Squat]

Fix a bayonet, or go with a butt-smash. A wooden rifle is a surprisingly good melee weapon, even if it's not it's primary purpose...

True, but he was bragging on the "mad minute." If he doesn't have ammo (or doesn't have more than a couple strippers full), he might as well just be swinging a bedpost. It's not like you can club your way down to WalMart and grab some .303

Have you seen the MKIII bayonets? Those things are a formidable weapon on their own terms; you don't to mount that thing to a rifle.
http://i17.ebayimg.com/01/i/001/32/8e/10d4_1.JPG

[Xondoure]

Boken. (a wooden katana) It's light so I can carry it around easily and it packs a mean punch.

[Yarram]

Well... I'm not really a weapons lying around person.... Hmmm.... If it was from my room, I'd have to sacrifice my tuba. Actually, even better. I could use a screwdriver to remove the neck from my electric base. It's hardwood, so it would be a fricken good club.

[Neithan]

I think all I really have is a rgular sized hammer.

But I think I could break apart one of my chairs and tkae one of the legs. And if I'm lucky I can get my hand on some freaking huge nails and drive them through the chair leg with my hammer.
Oh, and a whole bunch of rather small kitchen knives, though I don't know how to easily carrying them without geting myself sliced up.

[Jack Squat]

Oh, and a whole bunch of rather small kitchen knives, though I don't know how to easily carrying them without geting myself sliced up.

Construction paper "cardboard" sheath. They're cheap and they work...also great just for storing them in the drawer.

[Neithan]

There was a guy in india, who was found dead in the mud.

Was nominated for Darwin Award, because they later found out he died drom massive wounds to the leg arteries, when he slipped with two huge unsheathed knife tucked under his belt.