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Yodaman23
2009-02-17, 03:25 PM
Hey guys,
I'll be short, I am home brewing a Mystery Men RPG and need your help. Yes Mystery Men as in the Ben Stiller film about crappy "super" heros.
I need a lot of powers that are pretty much useless but may still be useful in a situation or two. For example, psychically controlling butter or at will projectile vomiting.
They should be entertaining and can't be too powerful.
Work those creative juices, thank you.

ShneekeyTheLost
2009-02-17, 04:35 PM
Dodge - The ability to automatically dodge ANY attack... as long as you were told at least three days in advance of the particulars of the attack. For example, someone saying "I'm going to shoot you" does not work. It has to be specific: "Next Tuesday, after Noon, I'm going to walk up to you, pull out a machine gun, and riddle you full of holes". Useful against the Joker, who tells you what he is going to do as part of a head game, but otherwise useless.

Static Cling - The ability to manipulate static cling in garments. Useful for skirt watching, or making sure you are immaculate in attire. Also makes you immune to cat hair on your clothing.

Sneeze - The ability to make anyone sneeze on command. While generally useless, imagine what would happen if someone attempting a delicate operation (forging a document, picking a lock, rigging explosives) were to sneeze in the middle of the task...

Mr./Ms. Normal - The ability to negate any super ability he can sense. Probably doesn't believe in super abilities, either. Super powers simply don't work in front of him. As long as he doesn't sense it, it happens normally. Superman falls from the sky when Mr. Normal sees him soaring, and assumes it was a jumper. It's not anything he does consciously, he just doesn't believe in super powers so much that they don't function when he is observing them. Considering only the party, and maybe the BBEG, will have any super powers, this isn't particularly powerful.

The Emo - Completely and totally immune to any and all... self-inflicted wounds.

Postcognition - This ability gives the supernatural insight of what the perfect solution for a problem is... just after it has been solved.

Movie Buff - The supernatual ability to perfectly and instantly recall any quote or detail from any movie ever viewed. He could tell you exactly how many nose-hairs the actor had during any given scene, but could not necessarily recognise that actor if he were met walking down a street.

Yodaman23
2009-02-17, 05:27 PM
Off to a great start, those are awesome. Mr./Ms. Normal seems like it would be too powerful.

ShneekeyTheLost
2009-02-17, 05:53 PM
Off to a great start, those are awesome. Mr./Ms. Normal seems like it would be too powerful.

The Normal operates under the supposition that super powers are extremely rare in the game, thus the only people it would inconvenience the majority of the time would be the other players. If you face off against other supers frequently, then yes, it would be more powerful.

Also, it only negates those powers which he can directly observe. It would not impact, for example, Postcognition, because people often go "Oh, I know what we should have done back there..." all the time. It would only impact powers with visible effects, such as flying, shooting lasers out of eyes, and other such 'unreal' phenomona.

Ashtagon
2009-02-17, 06:13 PM
Social Invisibility: No one pays any attention to you.

Dienekes
2009-02-18, 01:39 PM
Telepathy, all the time you constantly hear what every single person in a mile (2 miles well whatever distance you want) is saying at the same time, causing a constant cluttering of noise that is impossible to focus. For added torment this includes animal thoughts... fear the hyper squirrels.

Myou
2009-02-18, 02:34 PM
Puppy Love - The ability to appear hugely attractive to dogs.

Pastamancy - The ability to animate overcooked pasta. Sadly pasta is pretty soft and yeilding, pretty useless as a weapon.

Mudbreathing - The ability to breathe under mud.

Sea Man - The ability to talk to fish. Note that you cannot breathe underwater.

Laservision - For the love of god, don't blink!

Frictionless - You can annul all friction within one metre of your person. I hope you have a Fly spell handy.

Master of Light - You can cast Dancing Lights once a day as an SLA.

Creamy - You sweat cream.

Lingering Odour - Your body odours linger on anything you touch for months.

Dodge - During your action, you designate an opponent and receive a +1 dodge bonus to Armor Class against attacks from that opponent. You can select a new opponent on any action.

Coffee Addict - If you drink more than 100 cups of coffee in an single day you may cast Time Stop as an SLA once before the day is out. If you don't drink 100 cups you get the shakes and go into a coma until you get the coffee you need.

Short Change - Coins of a value of less than 1sp are magnetically attracted towards you.

Death Beard - Anyone who shaves your beard will die.

Rainbow Boy - Your skin and hair shimmers and ripples with all of the colours of the rainbow. You look gorgeous. <3

Knowledge (BDSM)

Rock Tumble - You are skilled in the use of rock tumblers and falling electric guitars.

Emoting - Cute emoticons appear over your head to display your moods.

Invisible Hair - All of your bodyhair is invisible.

Blatant Liar - Your body produces light as the Light spell whenever you tell a lie.

Hypercontinence - You never need to go to the toilet. Ever.

Light as a Feather - You weigh 1/100th what you should.

Bouncy - Your bones are made of rubber. Walking may be a challenge.

Immune to Shampoo - Shampoo cannot harm you.

Unbreakable - You have damage reduction 20/water. And everyone knows it

Never Lost - Even the most incomprehensible plots and storylines make sense to you.

Razor Wit - You can deal slashing damage with any attack as long as you make a cutting remark immediately beforehand.

Alphabetical Orders - You can make items arrange themselves in alphabetical order with the power of your mind.

I could go on all day. XD
I hope some of those are helpful.

Pyrusticia
2009-02-18, 02:43 PM
Pyro - can, at will, summon up a flame from his fingertip, about the size that you'd get from a cigarette lighter. Useful for party tricks, and would often carry around a can of hairspray for a small makeshift flamethrower (except that he's disarmed any time he goes onto an airplane...rats!).

Just Won't Die - has a form of regeneration that works slowly (but surely!) and only kicks in when he's near death (in D&D terms, negative hp, including beyond -10). Doesn't really help during the fight, or between fights that are close together, but ensures this will be a recurring hero/villain. (Wait, didn't I kill you last month? Um...I got better...?).

Collin152
2009-02-18, 02:55 PM
Moist. You're... moist. All of the time. But hey, if anyone ever needs something dampened, or made soggy...

Yodaman23
2009-02-18, 03:23 PM
I love death beard that is great.
Some of the ones I have come up with;

KGB-Despite all rational thinking, everyone you meet believes you to be a KGB agent. Regardless of time period, location, or relationship to the person you are always a Russian to them.

...he drives the van!-You’re the guy who drives the van. The SUPER VAN! You begin play with a large van of a make no later than 1985. You have a start with a 4D Drive van skill under Mechanical and no matter what happens to your van you will always have a new on in your driveway.

All Seer-You don’t blink, ever. It’s really creepy and you hold several awards for staring contests.

The Big Man-From either watching a lot of TV or just idolizing commercials you have made a personal hero of the Kool Aid Man. You have practiced your whole like and are now able to break through wall just like him. You are only able to do so when shouting “Oh Yeah!” or a special version of your own making and you need a constant supply of sugary Kool Aid to give you energy.

Super Nanny-With a commanding voice that is no doubt filled with some UK accent you are able to give people time outs on the naughty stool. By placing your stool on the ground, pointing at the subject and giving them a good verbal pranging the subject will sit on the stool until told to do so or goes into a fit of crying through hunger and potty time.

Immune to glass-You have entamaphobia, a fear of doors. Why you have that fear only you can say but it prevents you from using doors. Instead you have to enter and exit a building through windows in a dramatic fashion. All that leaping through glass has made you immune to damage from glass.

Dienekes
2009-02-18, 04:06 PM
Moist. You're... moist. All of the time. But hey, if anyone ever needs something dampened, or made soggy...

Best ability ever.

Izmir Stinger
2009-02-18, 04:10 PM
Panacea Tongue - You can heal most wounds by licking the effected area for 5-20 minutes.

Anagram Awareness - You are instantly aware of all possible English words and phrases that can be spelled with the same letters as any word or phrase you see in writing.

Athletic Osmosis - You are exactly as strong/flexible/agile/dexterous as any person you are currently watching that is engaged in an activity displaying these abilities. If they cease displaying their abilities, or your view of them is interrupted, you immediately cease to have those abilities.

Photographic Memory - You can recall every conceivable detail of any scene/event if you have personally photographed/recorded it AND subsequently viewed the resulting photograph/movie.

X-Ray Eyes - You can emit a beam of X-rays up to an intensity of 200 kV from each of your eyes. Prolonged exposure to X-Rays at this intensity significantly increase your victims' risk of cancer. Your visual perception range is the same as everyone else.

Extra-retail Perception - You know the current market value (when it is new) of every commercially available object you see. You are also able to express any monetary value in terms of what you can buy with it. (e.g. "$750! That's 124 paperbacks from Baen Books, a number 11 value meal from Burger King and a pack of Five Gum!")

Lorn
2009-02-18, 04:29 PM
...he drives the van!-You’re the guy who drives the van. The SUPER VAN! You begin play with a large van of a make no later than 1985. You have a start with a 4D Drive van skill under Mechanical and no matter what happens to your van you will always have a new on in your driveway.
This seems really, really abusable. You're waiting for your average Joe Chaos to park the van round the corner... every day... for a month. Or maybe sell them off.


All Seer-You don’t blink, ever. It’s really creepy and you hold several awards for staring contests.
I can do that :smallbiggrin: ish...



Hm. How about..

.. the ability to make cake levitate?

.. the ability to remove dust from any surface by touching it?

.. the inability to get drunk?

.. the ability to make anything, no matter how foul, smell slightly less foul?

.. the ability to turn one kind of wood into a different kind of wood?

.. the ability to solve any jigsaw puzzle in a matter of seconds?

.. the ability to lock doors that used to be locked, but only if the door had been seen to be locked under an hour ago?

.. Family Guy-esque theme music? (As in, the episode where Peter gets three wishes. Two of which are his own theme music and no bones.)

JackMage666
2009-02-18, 04:36 PM
*cough cough* Self-ploy *cough cough*
These are from the archives, but thematically might help...

Warshovel (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44587)
AND
Trench Digger (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44589)

These were not designed with this in mind, but as someone mentioned...

Yodaman23
2009-02-19, 10:25 AM
I like those stats for the Warshovel.

KBF
2009-02-20, 04:04 PM
This seems really, really abusable. You're waiting for your average Joe Chaos to park the van round the corner... every day... for a month. Or maybe sell them off.

It's the same van, every time. You find you somehow have acquired a huge debt after spending the cash you made off that van on booze.

Arcane_Snowman
2009-02-20, 04:56 PM
Super Dancer: You know every conceivable dance move performed throughout the entirety of history, whether you have the physique to execute them is something different.

Stupid Questions: Whenever you ask an question that someone perceives as idiotic, that person is compelled to answer. This ability does not function if you ask anything that that person perceives as relevant.

MisterSaturnine
2009-02-20, 05:12 PM
Lord of the One Unbuttoned: You always know if there is a button unbuttoned within a 1 mile radius. This does not give you the power to button them with the power of your mind--you just know.

Not-Josef-Stalin-Lad: You have the infallible ability to know whether or not someone is Josef Stalin, former General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.

"Hey, You Look Kind of Like..." Man: You bear a resemblance to a celebrity, though the celebrity differs depending on who's looking. The resemblance is not strong enough for someone with normal human sight to confuse you with the celebrity. The celebrity you look like to someone is not always a celebrity that they know the appearance of.

Living Atom Bomb: You can explode with the force of a hydrogen bomb without harming yourself...once. Ever. You already accidentally used the ability when the power first manifested.

Syne
2009-02-20, 05:30 PM
All Smelling: You can smell things by looking at them for a couple of minutes. This has many negative consequences, as you can imagine.
Reflective Cranium: Your bald scalp is so shiny and reflective that you can use it to blind others.
Accidental Gesticulation: You tend to accidentally flip people off at the most awkward moments. The frequency is, in fact, supernatural.
Really Disturbing Gaze: Your gaze deeply disturbs others for no reason they can name. Over 3 or 4 minutes of direct staring can result in physical discomfort and an increased risk of ocular cancer.
Iron Stomach: You can digest things no human being has any right to, including plastic, wood, rubber, softer metals, and leather.
Lewd Cognition: You can find a lewd interpretation to any anecdote, sentence, phrase, situation, image, and name.

Darth Stabber
2009-02-20, 05:33 PM
Headache - you have a constant headache, it doesn't impede you in any way, it just hurts, If someone is a complete jerk to you you may pass the headache off to them for 1 hour, at which time your head resumes aching.

And actually the Mr. normal guy was represented in a Mutants and Masterminds game i once played, He did believe in superpowers (he himself could also make copies of himself, and he was a genius scientist), its just that most peoples were suppressed around him (he could not control it). He ended up being the guy on the other end of the comlink researching stuff while the other heroes did the heavy lifting, that was a fun game.

DracoDei
2009-02-20, 05:42 PM
The Tail - You have a large fluffy, warm tail. Choose one of the following: Skunk(innocent bystanders are usually convinced you can also spray, villains never really buy it), fox, raccoon, squirrel, or mouse/rat (in this last case the tail is long enough to wrap around most people at least 3 times. While it has a relatively strong grip, its lack of dexterity means you can't hold most objects with it, and anyone with their wits about them can easily escape if you try to grab them with it. Small children will often run up to you and yank on your tail on sight. While wrapped around a person (including yourself) they gain the following benefits:
-Immunity to hypothermia and in fact feel warm and comfy at all times.
-1 minute of wrapping after a fear condition or mental trauma induced state is induced that condition is negated for the next several hours at least. This includes PTSD, and Stockholm Syndrome.

The Horror - You appear HIDEOUSLY ugly to everyone except villains, who see you as amazingly handsome/beautiful. Despite this villains will never be romantically or sexually attracted to you in any way.

Laser Ranging Vision - You may shoot harmless rays from your eyes. These let you know the exact distance from each pupil to the first opaque or reflective object the lasers strike.

From "Sky High"
Ability to turn into a guinea-pig and back at will.

A variant:
The Kamikaze Lemming - You may transform into a lemming by concentrating for 3 seconds. Turning back requires you to die. If you did not die in a spectacular, messy, and/or violent fashion, you do not revert until you body has begun to noticeably putrefy or your corpse is mangled or some such. You appear in human form in the nearest relatively safe spot in the same state of health as you were when you assumed lemming form.

ericgrau
2009-02-20, 06:08 PM
Toastmaster: You can convert sliced bread into warm toast, with butter on one side if you desire. Any quantity of bread within a range of 100 feet may be instantly converted in this fashion, but it must be un-toasted pre-sliced bread. Good for stirring up chaos at the local bakery maybe? Charitable events?

Raging Gene Ray
2009-02-20, 06:20 PM
Once bread becomes toast, it can never go back to being bread again.
-Eric Graun d'Beif, Toastmaster.

Draco Dracul
2009-02-20, 06:22 PM
The Cuopon- With the amazing ability to get a ten percent discont anywhere.

Master of the Centennials- Has mind control powers anyone 100 years old or older.

Raging Gene Ray
2009-02-20, 06:25 PM
The Cuopon- With the amazing ability to get a ten percent discont anywhere.

Master of the Centennials- Has mind control powers anyone 100 years old or older.

These actually seem pretty useful in a D&D setting. Especially since beings over 100 years are fairly common and 10% off of +4 weapons for the entire party translates into a lot of gold.

cha0s4a11
2009-02-20, 09:03 PM
Duck Man: You have a duck as an animal companion for as long as you persistently refuse to acknowledge its existence. It can typically be spotted (by others, who can and do acknowledge the existence of said duck) as either wandering around you or sitting on your head. The duck is perfectly normal and non-magical except that once you acknowledge its existence it instantly vanishes for 1d4 weeks and then reappears near you as it did before as your animal companion, still subject to disappearing if acknowledged.

The Minx
2009-02-20, 09:19 PM
Laser Ranging Vision - You may shoot harmless rays from your eyes. These let you know the exact distance from each pupil to the first opaque or reflective object the lasers strike.

Very useful if you use ranged weapons a lot, and have to gauge ranged to-hit penalties and/or use spells where you have to name the range at which it will take effect. :smallsmile:

osyluth
2009-02-20, 09:27 PM
Duck Man: You have a duck as an animal companion for as long as you persistently refuse to acknowledge its existence. It can typically be spotted (by others, who can and do acknowledge the existence of said duck) as either wandering around you or sitting on your head. The duck is perfectly normal and non-magical except that once you acknowledge its existence it instantly vanishes for 1d4 weeks and then reappears near you as it did before as your animal companion, still subject to disappearing if acknowledged.


All hail Terry Pratchett!

Copper's Feet Choose one city. As long as you are outside and wearing cheap boots in that city, you know exactly where you are in that city.

Collin152
2009-02-20, 10:34 PM
Best ability ever.

Yes it is. Yes it is.

Teron
2009-02-20, 11:08 PM
DodgeSneeze - The ability to make anyone sneeze on command. While generally useless, imagine what would happen if someone attempting a delicate operation (forging a document, picking a lock, rigging explosives) were to sneeze in the middle of the task...
That could easily hamper someone's ability to fight if it can be used repeatedly in a short time.


The Emo - Completely and totally immune to any and all... self-inflicted wounds.
That's easy to abuse -- strap a bomb to yourself, or just chuck grenades willy-nilly without fear.


Movie Buff - The supernatual ability to perfectly and instantly recall any quote or detail from any movie ever viewed. He could tell you exactly how many nose-hairs the actor had during any given scene, but could not necessarily recognise that actor if he were met walking down a street.
Perfect retention of information from documentaries and instructional videos could yield a lot of useful knowledge and at least a significant head start on learning most skills.

MisterSaturnine
2009-02-20, 11:25 PM
-Useful applications to seemingly useless abilities-

Go on. Try to find an actual use to one of my powers. I dare you.

EDIT: Well...I suppose the atom bomb thing could be used for intimidation purposes. "I'll explode again if you don't [blank]."

Collin152
2009-02-20, 11:27 PM
Not-Josef-Stalin-Lad: You have the infallible ability to know whether or not someone is Josef Stalin, former General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.



Go on. Try to find an actual use to one of my powers. I dare you.

Easy. You find Josef Stalin. Duh.

DracoDei
2009-02-20, 11:42 PM
Very useful if you use ranged weapons a lot, and have to gauge ranged to-hit penalties and/or use spells where you have to name the range at which it will take effect. :smallsmile:
Well, the original Mystery Men found uses for their powers...

These actually seem pretty useful in a D&D setting. Especially since beings over 100 years are fairly common and 10% off of +4 weapons for the entire party translates into a lot of gold.
In such a setting (which this is probably NOT) you would have to change "Centennials" to "Ancients" so it only works on humanoids in their last age category...

DrakebloodIV
2009-02-21, 12:05 AM
Just Won't Die - has a form of regeneration that works slowly (but surely!) and only kicks in when he's near death (in D&D terms, negative hp, including beyond -10). Doesn't really help during the fight, or between fights that are close together, but ensures this will be a recurring hero/villain. (Wait, didn't I kill you last month? Um...I got better...?).

Dramatic Recurrence- Has a form of healing that allows it to negate damage (even fatal damage) based on how dramatic a death it had. Therefore falling off of a cliff might still be fatal, but falling off a cliff into a pit of lava sharks screaming 'I will have my REVENGE' would leave you almost guaranteed to live

Arachu
2009-02-21, 12:09 AM
Magic Bunny Man You can jump exactly 300 feet into the air. I wouldn't though. That would hurt.

T3][ L337M4N You understand the intricacies of the L337 language. This would probably be more useful if there were computers...

I Wish I Did Not Wish This Wish About Wishing to Not Make a Wish!!! You have the ability to use Wish, at will, at any time, as long as you don't actually wish for something.

My Cup is Half Empty Everyone around you sees you as a massive pessimist. It doesn't matter whether they're right. 'Cause you totally are. Yeah. Totally.

MY Cup is Half Full!!! You are the most annoying man/woman/both/boy/girl/asexual organism on the face of the earth. Even your breathing is annoying.

He Went That-a-Way You gain +100 to all Disguise checks so long as no one can see you.

Magic Mirror You are the most beautiful being in the multiverse. Your very visage would blind a bat. That's why your unbelievable beautifulness only works in utter darkness. To protect people.

ericgrau
2009-02-21, 01:05 PM
Once bread becomes toast, it can never go back to being bread again.
-Eric Graun d'Beif, Toastmaster.

Lol. Hey, you pronounced my last name right!

Ovaltine Patrol
2009-02-21, 05:05 PM
Super-Slide: Goes through all the stages of alcoholism, recovery, and relapse at super speed.

Scuttle-Buster: Causes the immediate area around a water cooler to be awkward and uncomfortable, preventing anyone from gossiping around it.

Mercenary Pen
2009-02-21, 06:11 PM
See Nothing, Suspect Nothing The user cannot be suspected of anything by individuals that cannot see the user.

It's Fluorescent What? The user can change the colour of Fluorescent garments they are wearing.

Doorstep The user can move through open doors (these no longer provide cover against the user, but still block line of sight).

Parrot with a mobile phone The user can imitate any non-harmful sound they have heard at least sixteen times before.

Strange and inane phobias The user can induce in their foe a phobia from the following list: Pigeons, Moustaches, Inflatable objects, Fingernails.

DracoDei
2009-02-21, 06:17 PM
Scuttle-Buster: Causes the immediate area around a water cooler to be awkward and uncomfortable, preventing anyone from gossiping around it.

Should also be able to target salon hairdriers (the ones you sit under) and select other locations.

TSED
2009-02-21, 11:48 PM
Physically Elitist Music Snob: Only music that is in the top 1% (quality wise, not popularity) of any genre is listenable. The other 99% makes the target PHYSICALLY ILL. Nauseous, even.


First Poster: On any discussion, the hero is capable of responding first no matter what. He can only use this if what he says does not contribute to the discussion.

Sidekick: Villains find it impossible to kill the hero outright. Instead, they capture it and place it within a complicated and convoluted death trap, and then forget about him.

Threepwood: Can hold breath for ten minutes.

poxjedi
2009-02-22, 04:59 AM
THE ABILITY TO MELT SOLID ICE BY SIMPLY EXPOSING IT TO ROOM TEMPERATURE!

The ability to milk inanimate objects by squeezing them.

The ability to turn lead into gold by licking it.

The ability to crush diamonds into coal.

Highwarlord
2009-02-22, 05:05 AM
The ability to instantaneously combine a plastic fork and a plastic spoon into a plastic spork.

The ability to instantaneously combine a metal fork and a metal spoon into a metal spork.

The ability to instantaneously combine a potato fork and a potato spoon into a potato spork.

The ability to change the flavor of potato chips.

The ability to see why children love Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Ethrael
2009-02-22, 06:12 AM
I believe the thread which used to be in the Comics Section would be of use: Most Unbelievable Useless Power Ever (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=99557). And as mentioned the most in the thread, there's a comics superhero team called the Great Lakes Avengers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Lakes_Avengers) who are pretty much a joke team made to show how stupid powers can be.

Oh and I forgot, almost all of Section 8. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogwelder)

Person1123
2009-02-22, 10:01 AM
Got The Cold: Your body temperature is always 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

No, Really: If you say "No, really!" at the end of a sentence, you believe it like it's really true, even if it isn't.

Glassy-Eyed: Your eyes are really just orbs of glass, so you can pop them out and polish them as needed.

Darth Stabber
2009-02-23, 05:36 PM
No, Really: If you say "No, really!" at the end of a sentence, you believe it like it's really true, even if it isn't.

Might actually be useful, Sense motive, zone of truth, half of divination, and half of telepathy, none of 'em touch you, groovy. Unfortunately, if you were lying to cover something up that you were involved in, you just mindraped your self, so net zero

Pie Guy
2009-02-24, 10:11 PM
Cheese Man: You can identify the age and variety of any cheese you see. This also applies to games such as dnd.

Yodaman23
2009-02-24, 10:27 PM
The game is finished and awesome. Would anybody like me to give a download so you can download MYSTERY MEN: The RPG and try it out with your friends?

Yodaman23
2009-02-24, 11:21 PM
Well after a little more then a year in development and testing and with the help of the people on this forum I present to you The Mystery Men RPG.
You guys have helped me fill out the last 10 powers and get rid of ones that didn't play test well or I just didn't like. This is version 1.3 and I would love to hear what you think. PM me.

Mystery Men RPG.zip - 0.05MB (http://www.zshare.net/download/56137616cc8edfda/)