The Extinguisher
2009-02-23, 12:45 AM
Oh god, what have I done.
“Harry, look out!”
Ron shouted amidst the gunfire and explosions, but it was too late. Harry couldn't jump out of the way fast enough, and the giant laser blasted itself through him, sending him flying into the darkness of space. His screams of NOOOOO could be heard even as he disappeared into the black. Ron tried going after him, but Hermione grabbed his shirt collar.
“We have to go after him! He'll get lost out there!” Ron was desperate to escape Hermione's clutches.
“He'll be fine. He's Harry Potter! He's always fine.”
“I guess.” Ron couldn't disagree there. It was like the time they fought Snape and his motorcycle gang in the desert and Harry got buried on a sand dune. He managed to turn up eventually. This time should be the same.
“Besides, we have much more important things to worry about.” Hermione pulled Ron towards the front of the battlefield. “Look, they've brought Dumbledore back from the dead!”
“But he's a zombie now! Those damn dirty zebras! Everyone run.”
It was true, the now zombified Dumbledore crept his way through space, blasting lasers at anyone who came near. Ron and Hermione tried to run, but he was much to fast, and caught up with them. Creating two metal cages, he dropped both of them inside, and hauled them off to Mars, where the Space Zebra's headquarters were located.
“We fought Snape and his motorcycle gang, the three Voldemorts and even teen angst, but I think this is going to be our hardest fight yet, Hermione.”
“I think you may be right, Ron. I think you may be right.”
The Dumble-zombie moaned at them to be quiet.
The Mars Needle wasn't very welcoming. It was cold and metal, and full of whirling gadgets and such. Zombie-Dumbledore led them through it's caverns to the leader's chamber. The passed no one in the hallways, except the odd Zebra guard, and talked the whole way there.
“There's too much technology. I don't think our magic will work.” Hermione said, looking worried.
“Can't you use a spell to short circuit it? I thought technology didn't work when magic was about. What else have you told me that was a lie! Do you actually love me! Was that really my kid? Was it Snape's? Or Harry's? Or even that new kid Marty Stu's? Where did you actually hide the stuff in my special drawer?!”
“Settle down doofus. Technology doesn't work when it comes into contact with magic. But if magic comes into contact with technology, then magic doesn't work.” Hermione rolled her eyes.
“Oh, I knew that.” Ron played off his shouting fit very cooly. “Wait, how does that work?”
“Best not to think about. It's never officially explained or talked about in the text books, or any book for that matter, but I assure you I didn't just make it up for this particular situation. I read it on the Magical Net. Someone said it was true.”
“Oh, that makes sense.” Ron never really asked much after that.
Suddenly, from nowhere, Harry appeared. And he appeared on the ceiling, right above Zombledore, who was crushed by Harry's emotional issues. The trio began running towards the leader's chambers, until Ron suddenly stopped.
“Ow. Why did you do that?” Harry asked, rubbing his forehead.
“I just remembered. The zombie was leading us there anyway.” Ron explained.
The trio looked at each other for a second, and began running back the way they came.
Moments later, they were in front of the Space Zebra's commander's door's doorknob. They knew it was the right one because it was the biggest. They turned the Space Zebra's commander's door's doorknob and walked slowly inside, making sure to shut and lock the door. The room was pitch black, and they couldn't see anything. There wasn't even any light in it at all.
“I suppose your wondering who I am.” A voice rang out from the darkness.
“Malfoy?” All three shouted at once.
“Aw, how did you know?” Malfoy flicked on the lights, to reveal himself, sitting on his throne, which was a small plastic chair.
“You voice sounds stupid.” Ron said.
“And you're afraid of the dark, we heard you whimpering.” Hermione added.
“Also, you kind of smell.” Harry said.
“Well, no need to be rude.” Malfoy said, trying to hold back tears.
“You know Malfoy, you don't really need to invade and destroy the Earth, do you.”
“What?” Malfoy asked.
“I said, you don't need to destroy the Earth. You have everything you could want right here.” Ron moved himself closer and whispered in his ear. “Right here.”
As Hermione and Harry looked on in excitement, Ron moved in closer still, lowered his lips to Malfoy's, and-
“Hey Hermy, what'cha writing?”
Harry and Ron had just entered the Common Room, it was late, and they were out partying. Both were shocked to see Hermione sitting in a chair with what looked like a laptop. She was typing something. Harry picked it up to read.
“It's not done yet!” Hermione shouted, but they didn't listen.
“Aaaaah.” Harry said, pretending to be in pain. “It reads like a sex scene written by someone who's never even heard of the opposite gender before.”
“It does not. It's very very good and everyone will love it.”
“Hey, I thought electronic stuff doesn't work in Hogwarts. How is that working?” Ron asked.
“It's not. It's nothing. Go away. Stop looking at it. Your looking at it.” Hermione was getting very protective over this.
“Um... it kind of died on me.” Harry showed her the empty screen.
“No! Everything I worked on, gone! It's not fair.” Hermione was crying.
“Hey, I know what will cheer you up Hermy. We should go see Malfoy. He is a swell person and we should hang out with him more often.”
“I agree Ron. Come on Hermione. Maybe Malfoy will like your story.” The three walked out of the Common Room and towards the Slytherin Dungeons.
~
Malfoy put the last bit of punctuation, leaned back and admired his work. He saved, before anything bad happened and was getting ready for bed. It was already two in the morning! But just before he could turn off the computer and head upstairs, he heard a voice.
“Is that you son?”
“Yes dad. Go back to bed dad, every thing's find dad.”
“You better not be looking up Muggles!”
“No dad. I'm going to bed now dad.”
Malfoy sighed. No one understood him.
I feel a little dirty.
“Harry, look out!”
Ron shouted amidst the gunfire and explosions, but it was too late. Harry couldn't jump out of the way fast enough, and the giant laser blasted itself through him, sending him flying into the darkness of space. His screams of NOOOOO could be heard even as he disappeared into the black. Ron tried going after him, but Hermione grabbed his shirt collar.
“We have to go after him! He'll get lost out there!” Ron was desperate to escape Hermione's clutches.
“He'll be fine. He's Harry Potter! He's always fine.”
“I guess.” Ron couldn't disagree there. It was like the time they fought Snape and his motorcycle gang in the desert and Harry got buried on a sand dune. He managed to turn up eventually. This time should be the same.
“Besides, we have much more important things to worry about.” Hermione pulled Ron towards the front of the battlefield. “Look, they've brought Dumbledore back from the dead!”
“But he's a zombie now! Those damn dirty zebras! Everyone run.”
It was true, the now zombified Dumbledore crept his way through space, blasting lasers at anyone who came near. Ron and Hermione tried to run, but he was much to fast, and caught up with them. Creating two metal cages, he dropped both of them inside, and hauled them off to Mars, where the Space Zebra's headquarters were located.
“We fought Snape and his motorcycle gang, the three Voldemorts and even teen angst, but I think this is going to be our hardest fight yet, Hermione.”
“I think you may be right, Ron. I think you may be right.”
The Dumble-zombie moaned at them to be quiet.
The Mars Needle wasn't very welcoming. It was cold and metal, and full of whirling gadgets and such. Zombie-Dumbledore led them through it's caverns to the leader's chamber. The passed no one in the hallways, except the odd Zebra guard, and talked the whole way there.
“There's too much technology. I don't think our magic will work.” Hermione said, looking worried.
“Can't you use a spell to short circuit it? I thought technology didn't work when magic was about. What else have you told me that was a lie! Do you actually love me! Was that really my kid? Was it Snape's? Or Harry's? Or even that new kid Marty Stu's? Where did you actually hide the stuff in my special drawer?!”
“Settle down doofus. Technology doesn't work when it comes into contact with magic. But if magic comes into contact with technology, then magic doesn't work.” Hermione rolled her eyes.
“Oh, I knew that.” Ron played off his shouting fit very cooly. “Wait, how does that work?”
“Best not to think about. It's never officially explained or talked about in the text books, or any book for that matter, but I assure you I didn't just make it up for this particular situation. I read it on the Magical Net. Someone said it was true.”
“Oh, that makes sense.” Ron never really asked much after that.
Suddenly, from nowhere, Harry appeared. And he appeared on the ceiling, right above Zombledore, who was crushed by Harry's emotional issues. The trio began running towards the leader's chambers, until Ron suddenly stopped.
“Ow. Why did you do that?” Harry asked, rubbing his forehead.
“I just remembered. The zombie was leading us there anyway.” Ron explained.
The trio looked at each other for a second, and began running back the way they came.
Moments later, they were in front of the Space Zebra's commander's door's doorknob. They knew it was the right one because it was the biggest. They turned the Space Zebra's commander's door's doorknob and walked slowly inside, making sure to shut and lock the door. The room was pitch black, and they couldn't see anything. There wasn't even any light in it at all.
“I suppose your wondering who I am.” A voice rang out from the darkness.
“Malfoy?” All three shouted at once.
“Aw, how did you know?” Malfoy flicked on the lights, to reveal himself, sitting on his throne, which was a small plastic chair.
“You voice sounds stupid.” Ron said.
“And you're afraid of the dark, we heard you whimpering.” Hermione added.
“Also, you kind of smell.” Harry said.
“Well, no need to be rude.” Malfoy said, trying to hold back tears.
“You know Malfoy, you don't really need to invade and destroy the Earth, do you.”
“What?” Malfoy asked.
“I said, you don't need to destroy the Earth. You have everything you could want right here.” Ron moved himself closer and whispered in his ear. “Right here.”
As Hermione and Harry looked on in excitement, Ron moved in closer still, lowered his lips to Malfoy's, and-
“Hey Hermy, what'cha writing?”
Harry and Ron had just entered the Common Room, it was late, and they were out partying. Both were shocked to see Hermione sitting in a chair with what looked like a laptop. She was typing something. Harry picked it up to read.
“It's not done yet!” Hermione shouted, but they didn't listen.
“Aaaaah.” Harry said, pretending to be in pain. “It reads like a sex scene written by someone who's never even heard of the opposite gender before.”
“It does not. It's very very good and everyone will love it.”
“Hey, I thought electronic stuff doesn't work in Hogwarts. How is that working?” Ron asked.
“It's not. It's nothing. Go away. Stop looking at it. Your looking at it.” Hermione was getting very protective over this.
“Um... it kind of died on me.” Harry showed her the empty screen.
“No! Everything I worked on, gone! It's not fair.” Hermione was crying.
“Hey, I know what will cheer you up Hermy. We should go see Malfoy. He is a swell person and we should hang out with him more often.”
“I agree Ron. Come on Hermione. Maybe Malfoy will like your story.” The three walked out of the Common Room and towards the Slytherin Dungeons.
~
Malfoy put the last bit of punctuation, leaned back and admired his work. He saved, before anything bad happened and was getting ready for bed. It was already two in the morning! But just before he could turn off the computer and head upstairs, he heard a voice.
“Is that you son?”
“Yes dad. Go back to bed dad, every thing's find dad.”
“You better not be looking up Muggles!”
“No dad. I'm going to bed now dad.”
Malfoy sighed. No one understood him.
I feel a little dirty.