View Full Version : Perfect guy auctions off his virginity.
steak
2009-02-27, 06:15 PM
Guy tries to auction his virginity to buy a laser.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boZKcTHSgj8
Any takers?
DraPrime
2009-02-27, 06:16 PM
You know what's really shocking? There's another steak in this playground!
Rutskarn
2009-02-27, 06:52 PM
I know, right?
Also, I'm not sure I can actually take this subject seriously enough to reply. And dammit, I haven't even seen the video yet. I'm sure it'll do nothing to change my mind.
Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2009-02-27, 09:56 PM
...
Why is he wrapped in tin foil?
Sotextli
2009-02-27, 10:03 PM
To seal in that sweet virgin flavor, of course.
Collin152
2009-02-27, 10:03 PM
...
Why is he wrapped in tin foil?
Don't you mean, "Why aren't I wrapped in tin foil?"
Keris
2009-02-27, 10:08 PM
Don't you mean, "Why aren't I wrapped in tin foil?"
Very well, why aren't you wrapped in tinfoil?
Collin152
2009-02-27, 10:13 PM
Very well, why aren't you wrapped in tinfoil?
...There isn't any in the house...
I haven't watched the commercial, but guys. He's trying to buy a laser. I think that's a worthy cause.
Canadian
2009-02-27, 11:30 PM
Foil does not make for an effective or comfortable form of birth control.
chiasaur11
2009-02-27, 11:59 PM
Foil does not make for an effective or comfortable form of birth control.
But it does protect you from Cthuloid mind control.
SCIENCE.
MCerberus
2009-02-28, 12:33 AM
But it does protect you from Cthuloid mind control.
SCIENCE.
It also protects one from the majority of situations that you would need birth control for.
Gorgondantess
2009-02-28, 12:43 AM
Foil does not make for an effective or comfortable form of birth control.
Words of wisdom, my friend. Words of wisdom.
Ascension
2009-02-28, 01:28 AM
Wasn't some girl trying to buy a superbowl ad to sell her virginity with? Is this some new fad, virginity auctioning? I mean, if it's that valuable I've got some prime virginity right here I could share with some lucky lady.
Sneak
2009-02-28, 01:40 AM
Wasn't some girl trying to buy a superbowl ad to sell her virginity with? Is this some new fad, virginity auctioning? I mean, if it's that valuable I've got some prime virginity right here I could share with some lucky lady.
Bah. Prime virginity? You're not even covered with tin foil. :smallyuk:
:smalltongue:
skywalker
2009-02-28, 01:43 AM
I haven't watched the commercial, but guys. He's trying to buy a laser. I think that's a worthy cause.
What kind of laser? I think that part is important...
Wasn't some girl trying to buy a superbowl ad to sell her virginity with? Is this some new fad, virginity auctioning? I mean, if it's that valuable I've got some prime virginity right here I could share with some lucky lady.
Wouldn't you know, I just got rid of mine. I had no idea there was going to be a market either. It's a damned shame, is what it is.
averagejoe
2009-02-28, 02:09 AM
Wouldn't you know, I just got rid of mine. I had no idea there was going to be a market either. It's a damned shame, is what it is.
I know, right. I thought the idea was to get rid of it as quickly as you can, in order to stave off dragons and volcanoes.
Johnny Blade
2009-02-28, 02:09 AM
Wasn't some girl trying to buy a superbowl ad to sell her virginity with? Is this some new fad, virginity auctioning?
I sincerely hope so. Virgin sacrifices would be a lot more convenient, and, you know, that would be quite the relief. I'm already two souls behind with payments for my vast occult powers, and I've heard the devil has pretty unpleasant ways of dealing with debtors.
I sincerely hope so. Virgin sacrifices would be a lot more convenient, and, you know, that would be quite the relief. I'm already two souls behind with payments for my vast occult powers, and I've heard the devil has pretty unpleasant ways of dealing with debtors.
We do, but only if you are really late. What, you thought Big D handled all that stuff himself? I'm only an assistant submanager of accounts recievable, but I can tell you, it's quite an organization.
chiasaur11
2009-02-28, 02:13 AM
I sincerely hope so. Virgin sacrifices would be a lot more convenient, and, you know, that would be quite the relief. I'm already two souls behind with payments for my vast occult powers, and I've heard the devil has pretty unpleasant ways of dealing with debtors.
Fiddle contests.
Seriously, that's it. Used to be you needed a trial, but since Webster died, no-one could get a defense attorney and the whole thing petered out.
Rettu Skcollob
2009-02-28, 02:13 AM
Virginity is worth something now? DAMN IT, if only I could go back in time, I could make some extra cash.
If only I'd had some tinfoil...
Icewalker
2009-02-28, 02:18 AM
What kind of laser? I think that part is important...
Laser cannon, he said. Certainly an interesting prospect...I could use some money myself.
Ascension
2009-02-28, 02:23 AM
We do, but only if you are really late. What, you thought Big D handled all that stuff himself? I'm only an assistant submanager of accounts recievable, but I can tell you, it's quite an organization.
And I thought you called yourself a communist!
And I thought you called yourself a communist!
And that prevents me from working in an obstructive, bloated, corrupt buerocracy how?
Johnny Blade
2009-02-28, 02:36 AM
We do, but only if you are really late.
That's...reassuring, really.
However, one question: Would you, under any conditions, accept money as a monthly installment? Just once?
You know, it just dawned me that there's not really much of a way to find out if a man actually still is a virgin, so I thought about getting into the market. Figure I can sell my alleged virginity at least 200 times before someone catches on.
What, you thought Big D handled all that stuff himself? I'm only an assistant submanager of accounts recievable, but I can tell you, it's quite an organization.
Oh, I am aware. However, the imp who made the deal with me said that, since my case involves the soul of my firstborn and the monthly sacrifice of two virgins (aged 14-23), even the devil himself may develop an interest in me if I fail to deliver.
Ascension
2009-02-28, 02:39 AM
You know, it just dawned me that there's not really much of a way to find out if a man actually still is a virgin, so I thought about getting into the market.
Physical evidence no, but it's a matter of naivete. I'm sure a proper quiz would reveal the truth.
That's...reassuring, really.
However, one question: Would you, under any conditions, accept money as a monthly installment? Just once?
You know, it just dawned me that there's not really much of a way to find out if a man actually still is a virgin, so I thought about getting into the market. Figure I can sell my alleged virginity at least 200 times before someone catches on.
Oh, I am aware. However, the imp who made the deal with me said that, since my case involves the soul of my firstborn and the monthly sacrifice of two virgins (aged 14-23) per month, even the devil himself may develop an interest in me if I fail to deliver.
Let me check....Yup, we accept cash, provided it was obtained in an immoral manner. You know, if you've gotten into public office, you can pay us with bribe money. Money from arms deals or trafficking in blood diamonds. I mean, in a pinch you could just steal some money, or kill a guy and take his money, but do that too much and it may not be judged to be sufficiently evil. We really appreciate those creative touches though, those will go a long way towrds getting your monetary interest payment approved.
skywalker
2009-02-28, 02:46 AM
Physical evidence no, but it's a matter of naivete. I'm sure a proper quiz would reveal the truth.
Eh?
I'm curious now...
He is covered in tin-foil because he is the perfect guy. Which for any woman is a man who is also a mirror.
...
Obviously!
zach12376
2009-02-28, 11:28 AM
I haven't watched the commercial, but guys. He's trying to buy a laser. I think that's a worthy cause.
He is trying to buy a laser to fight Aliens and Ghosts.
This guy is crazy.
Revlid
2009-02-28, 12:03 PM
He is trying to buy a laser to fight Aliens and Ghosts.
This guy is crazy.
The line between madness and genius is thin indeed.
Rutskarn
2009-02-28, 12:44 PM
Wait, wait, wait.
Isn't trying to auction off your virginity...you know. Prostitution?
I mean, this guy clearly isn't actually doing this, but if someone put in a bid, it'd actually be illegal to follow through with it.
The Evil Thing
2009-02-28, 01:30 PM
I guess he's really hard up.
Nerd-o-rama
2009-02-28, 01:33 PM
Shoot. And here I traded mine away years ago. I never knew it would be collectible.
chiasaur11
2009-02-28, 02:05 PM
The line between madness and genius is thin indeed.
They called Tesla mad, but after the Tuska event, we realized just how useful his anti Chimera weapons were!
Still, this guy's nuts. Everyone knows ghosts are immune to anti alien lasers.
Ah, but this is the important part: alien isn't immune to anti alien laser.
factotum
2009-02-28, 02:41 PM
Wasn't there something similar to this a while back where some woman in World of Warcraft tried to auction a night in bed with herself in exchange for some phat lewt? Mind you, I don't recall if she claimed to be a virgin or not!
Hell Puppi
2009-02-28, 03:01 PM
It was for gold for a mount.
No she was not a virgin.
Yes she got the gold. I believe it was done over craig's list.
Some people were making fun of her but she basically said "Hey I got something cool and had a good time, what's wrong with that?"
Eldan
2009-02-28, 03:06 PM
Wait, wait, wait.
Isn't trying to auction off your virginity...you know. Prostitution?
I mean, this guy clearly isn't actually doing this, but if someone put in a bid, it'd actually be illegal to follow through with it.
Depends on whether or not prostitution is illegal there.
averagejoe
2009-02-28, 03:13 PM
Isn't trying to auction off your virginity...you know. Prostitution?
Yup. The legality depends on what state and country he's currently in, though.
Illiterate Scribe
2009-02-28, 03:31 PM
Meh, the going rate round here is one hymen for four plasma rifles, he should find a better exchange rate.
Player_Zero
2009-02-28, 04:45 PM
He is covered in tin-foil because he is the perfect guy. Which for any woman is a man who is also a mirror.
No, no, he's the perfect man because he's wrapped in tin-foil!
Also,
"I am trying to get money for a laser."
Rutskarn
2009-02-28, 05:08 PM
He sounded American. I believe there's only one town in America in which prostitution is legal.
Phaedra
2009-02-28, 05:14 PM
He sounded American. I believe there's only one town in America in which prostitution is legal.
And I'm sure that town gets a lot of custom.
Laws on prostitution can be surprisingly vague sometimes - I don't know US law and no doubt it varies on a state by state basis in any case, but often the actual act of prostitution isn't illegal for the person doing the act. Just for the person paying and for various connected offences, if I remember my criminal law correctly (which I may not, it's been a while).
Obviously the tin foil allows him to block alien mind rays and to keep that aura of mystery which will make him so attractive to the bidding ladies.
averagejoe
2009-02-28, 05:17 PM
He sounded American. I believe there's only one town in America in which prostitution is legal.
If you're talking about Vegas, prostitution is actually illegal there and, actually, it lies in the only county in Nevada where prostitution is illegal due to state law. (It's illegal in some other counties, but those counties individually vote on that. The county where LV resides can't elect to do that.)
Also, it's legal in Rhode Island, though street prostitution isn't, and neither are brothels.
Warpfire
2009-02-28, 05:19 PM
He sounded American. I believe there's only one town in America in which prostitution is legal.
The more you know! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Nevada)
EDIT: Argh, prostitution ninja'd.
Flame of Anor
2009-02-28, 06:14 PM
However, the imp who made the deal with me said that, since my case involves the soul of my firstborn and the monthly sacrifice of two virgins (aged 14-23), even the devil himself may develop an interest in me if I fail to deliver.
Waaiit a second here--I've heard from reliable sources that the devil demands one monthly virgin of his damned followers. Were you telling the townspeople that...oh, you sly devil.
The line between madness and genius is thin indeed.
Yes, and he's totally past it.
Argh, prostitution ninja
You'd think that sort of thing would be against the ninja code.
averagejoe
2009-02-28, 06:21 PM
You'd think that sort of thing would be against the ninja code.
There's a ninja code? Seems like a reasonably effective method of assassination to me.
chiasaur11
2009-02-28, 06:29 PM
There's a ninja code? Seems like a reasonably effective method of assassination to me.
Of course. If you don't have a code, you're nothing more than a thug who kills people for money.
And then your targets think they know what to expect.
averagejoe
2009-02-28, 06:48 PM
Of course. If you don't have a code, you're nothing more than a thug who kills people for money.
And with one you're a thug who kills off people for money and has delusions of status. :smalltongue:
And then your targets think they know what to expect.
That's a reasonably clever use of the code, however.
Ascension
2009-02-28, 10:25 PM
Eh?
I'm curious now...
I'm just saying, if you claim sex is like pie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Pie_(film)) or quiche (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Another_Gay_Movie) or something and you're trying to sell your virginity, you're probably what you say you are. I don't imagine it would be possible to read enough about it to accurately describe it without having experienced it yourself. So just keep demanding descriptions until you're certain the guy is naive enough to be a virgin, and thus a man you'd give a laser to.
Wait, wait, wait.
Isn't trying to auction off your virginity...you know. Prostitution?
I mean, this guy clearly isn't actually doing this, but if someone put in a bid, it'd actually be illegal to follow through with it.
So, how do you enforce the illegality of prostitution? Is it illegal for me to make love to my girlfriend and for her to, coincidentally, give me money?
On the original topic: this guy clearly takes himself much to seriously; I would rather give the money to someone less pompous.
averagejoe
2009-02-28, 10:35 PM
So, how do you enforce the illegality of prostitution? Is it illegal for me to make love to my boyfriend and for him to, coincidentally, give me money?
On the original topic: this guy clearly takes himself much to seriously; I would rather give the money to someone less pompous.
Well, there's prostitution and then there's prostitution. If it's your boyfriend I'm fairly sure you can't make a living off of just him. It's the professionals they want to shut down, I believe.
Well, there's prostitution and then there's prostitution. If it's your boyfriend I'm fairly sure you can't make a living off of just him. It's the professionals they want to shut down, I believe.
My situation was purely hypothetical of course :smalltongue:. I should have used a less personal example to avoid confusion.
averagejoe
2009-02-28, 11:00 PM
My situation was purely hypothetical of course :smalltongue:. I should have used a less personal example to avoid confusion.
I'm just saying, one generally enforces the illegality of prostitution by arresting the people who make a living by having sex with other people. :smalltongue:
Ascension
2009-02-28, 11:34 PM
I'm just saying, one generally enforces the illegality of prostitution by arresting the people who make a living by having sex with other people. :smalltongue:
Is it "making a living" if you're just in it for the lasers?
Johnny Blade
2009-03-01, 03:11 AM
Waaiit a second here--I've heard from reliable sources that the devil demands one monthly virgin of his damned followers. Were you telling the townspeople that...oh, you sly devil.
Eh, it was basically three separate deals rolled into one contract. You know, extended lifespan and youthful appearance until I die for the price of my firstborn, infernal magic for one monthly virgin sacrifice, superhuman intellect for another.
Matter of fact, I got stunningly good looks for free, although I guess that was just a means to ensure that I could get close to enough virgins (and one not necessarily virginal spouse) to actually pay my debts.
Trust me, I know my infernal law.
kpenguin
2009-03-01, 03:19 AM
Couldn't you just raid hospitals and kindergartens?
averagejoe
2009-03-01, 03:23 AM
The nice thing about sacrificing virgins is cold virgin sandwiches the next morning.
Phase
2009-03-01, 09:25 AM
Couldn't you just raid hospitals and kindergartens?
You could also raid comic-cons and the internet.
Comet
2009-03-01, 09:38 AM
If you go to this guys website (provided with the youtube video) you can clearly see that the is very passionate about his...ghosts/aliens.
Awesome, awesome stuff. I'm so glad to have a warrior like this fighting mankinds battles.
"PSYCHIC BATTLE RIGHT NOW"
Illiterate Scribe
2009-03-01, 11:17 AM
Gene Ray and Perfect guy, COMBINE INTO YOUR SUPER ALIEN BATTLING FOUR CORNER LASER ROBOT!
Winterwind
2009-03-01, 12:53 PM
Gene Ray and Perfect guy, COMBINE INTO YOUR SUPER ALIEN BATTLING FOUR CORNER LASER ROBOT!Fighting ghosts and aliens for four days within 24 hours! :smallbiggrin:
But... won't the people he will try to get the laser from be educated stupid and evil? :smalleek:
Ascension
2009-03-02, 01:41 AM
But... won't the people he will try to get the laser from be educated stupid and evil? :smalleek:
There are some risks you've just got to take.
xanaphia
2009-03-02, 03:20 AM
I still think that the tin foil is simply to protect him from situations where his virginity is in danger.
I know! I'll go on a date with someone, and show up wearing tin foil! That'll get me far!
Actually, once someone agrees to date me, they've probably decided that nothing is impossible, when it comes to me, so they'd probably be cool with it.
averagejoe
2009-03-02, 03:24 AM
I still think that the tin foil is simply to protect him from situations where his virginity is in danger.
I know! I'll go on a date with someone, and show up wearing tin foil! That'll get me far!
Actually, once someone agrees to date me, they've probably decided that nothing is impossible, when it comes to me, so they'd probably be cool with it.
See, I always thought of the tinfoil as the test for whether someone is dateable. I mean, why would I even be interested in someone who doesn't think it's totally awesome that I showed up in tinfoil.
I'm just saying, one generally enforces the illegality of prostitution by arresting the people who make a living by having sex with other people. :smalltongue:
Mistresses?
averagejoe
2009-03-02, 05:55 AM
Mistresses?
Eh, sure, why not.
What's a male mistress, anyways? A mist...er? Mistor? Misto?
Eh, sure, why not.
What's a male mistress, anyways? A mist...er? Mistor? Misto?
How can you be sure that they didn't marry/sleep with X rich guy for his money?
A lot of girls I know say that wealth is a factor when deciding on boyfriends. Should they all be arrested?
averagejoe
2009-03-02, 03:18 PM
How can you be sure that they didn't marry/sleep with X rich guy for his money?
A lot of girls I know say that wealth is a factor when deciding on boyfriends. Should they all be arrested?
Quit avoiding the question. What you call a male mistress is an important issue.
*sigh* Fine, don't arrest mistresses then. It was probably morally questionable anyways.
Winterwind
2009-03-02, 03:23 PM
Quit avoiding the question. What you call a male mistress is an important issue.Logically, shouldn't it simply be 'master'?
Coidzor
2009-03-02, 03:37 PM
Hmm. Might get in under the same loophole that allows pornography to be produced and the players in that to be paid.
Edit: I believe a male mistress is a "Kept Man" due to the fact that such things of men are much more euphemistic.
averagejoe
2009-03-02, 03:50 PM
Logically, shouldn't it simply be 'master'?
Yes, but that has connotations of being the one in the position of power. It just feels inappropriate.
Edit: @^ Ah, thank you. Kept man. Appropriate and delightful.
Kcalehc
2009-03-03, 02:50 PM
Hmm. Might get in under the same loophole that allows pornography to be produced and the players in that to be paid.
I think thats something like the 'actors' (and I use the term loosely) are both paid, by a third party, to have sex with each other; neither is paying the other to have sex with them. There is no exchange of goods or services between the 2 parties (well, not money anyways...), neither recieves sex in return for money either, so it's not prostiution - just a job. The law is pretty complicated, but thats the gist of it.
A 'kept man' would be more of a term for a man 'kept' or looked after by a wealthy woman (i.e. she pays his bills and buys him lavish gifts); as would a kept woman in the reverse situation. A better term would be simply 'Lover', or perhaps or 'Paramour'. However there is actually no recognised term for a male mistress in English.
MeatShield#236
2009-03-05, 07:32 PM
All I can say is "What the heck?"
BlueWizard
2009-03-14, 11:59 AM
This guy needed to lower his standards... just a bit.
Hmm. Might get in under the same loophole that allows pornography to be produced and the players in that to be paid.
I've often wondered: Is it possible for a 17 year-old to get arrested for producing child pornography if she posts pictures of herself topless somewhere?
Would she go to a normal prison or the one reserved for severe crimes such as the production of child-pornography?
EDIT: This is just a random question from a curious person. It is not very related to the topic but doesn't deserve it's own thread so I'm throwing it out here for a quick answer.
We really should have a "ask a quick question" thread...
Sholos
2009-03-14, 01:33 PM
Physical evidence no, but it's a matter of naivete. I'm sure a proper quiz would reveal the truth.
I don't know. Knowledge doesn't necessarily equal experience, and the ones that are trying to seem pure might know which answers to give.
Fireballing_Fun
2009-03-14, 01:38 PM
I've often wondered: Is it possible for a 17 year-old to get arrested for producing child pornography if she posts pictures of herself topless somewhere?
Would she go to a normal prison or the one reserved for severe crimes such as the production of child-pornography?
EDIT: This is just a random question from a curious person. It is not very related to the topic but doesn't deserve it's own thread so I'm throwing it out here for a quick answer.
We really should have a "ask a quick question" thread...
I have seen a case in america where 15 16 year old girls were arrested for creating child porn by texting images of themselves to 17 year old boys who were also arrested for possessing child porn.
Any judge worth his weight in anything should have just thrown the case out of course, not sure what happened with it.
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