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View Full Version : High level Fighter bartenders: Where do they come from?



krossbow
2009-03-06, 02:37 PM
Posit your random and paranoid theories here as to why so many bars in D&D games are run by or staffed by retired high level fighters :smalltongue:.

Kris Strife
2009-03-06, 02:44 PM
Wenches, booze and the fighters guild owns the bartending college.

Lycanthromancer
2009-03-06, 02:46 PM
Because fighters suck at fighting. They're better at gaining XP through washing dishes and use their Improved Unarmed Strike to punch pinch the serving girls.

Telonius
2009-03-06, 02:49 PM
They realize that while the Bard is going to get most of the attention, the ability to bestow free drinks upon any person of your choosing can be worth +5 Cha.

Dixieboy
2009-03-06, 02:50 PM
Caramon Majere

'nuff said :smalltongue:

But apart from that, have you noticed how all adventures start in a bar/tavern? And there is always a fighter there?

See the fighters natural habitat is actually taverns and bars and he uses his life stalking around in the territory of a stronger male, he exists there only because the older male tolerates him.
This offcourse like in all animal kingdoms means that the older male possess the females, (Wenches)
So much frustration will be had as the young one has to struggle with the alpha male for any potential mating

At some point the Fighter will meet up with a wizard, and a journey will start, no one is sure why the fighter undertakes this, frankly quite suicidal, task experts speculate that the fighter is related to the lemming

After this journey has been completed the fighter settles down and claims his own territory, which offcourse takes the shape of a tavern, for other young fighters to dwell in, and thus the circle of life continues

krossbow
2009-03-06, 02:54 PM
So then that would make The NPC fighter mufasa and the PC simba then...


It all suddenly makes sense.

Kris Strife
2009-03-06, 02:57 PM
There's only one bar and bartender, every tavern and inn door leads to it. The fighter has to tend it because the party wizard cursed the fighter for using his spell book as toliet paper.

serok42
2009-03-06, 03:19 PM
Because dogs can't look up.

Keld Denar
2009-03-06, 03:22 PM
If Advocate was still here, he'd say that it was because past a certain point, the fighter is more of a liability than a party member in the rocket launcher tag that is high level play and at some point would lose all of his gear due to extreme DM douchebaggery and either commit seppuku or retire with whatever cash/gear he has left and live out the rest of his pathetic life as a bartender in an inn where he can still harrass low level adventurers and get away with it.

Or something like that.

Talyn
2009-03-06, 03:25 PM
How many barfights do you see in bars? A freaking LOT. A bartender basically has to ride herd over barfights on a semi-regular basis. And, since its his bar, at the end of the evening everyone else has left, which means they have been defeated.

That's a LOT of XP.

Assassin89
2009-03-06, 03:26 PM
Someone has to stop bar fights and throw out drunken patrons. A fighter is better suited for those tasks.

An alternative theory is that it is meant as a deterrent for the PCs who would otherwise loot the tavern.

krossbow
2009-03-06, 03:46 PM
Granted, the more i think about it, the more Bars seem like super centers of commerce. Given how many adventurers stumble through these things, bar owners must be making thousands of gold.

Asgardian
2009-03-06, 03:48 PM
They are retired adventures that want unlimited booze,a bar the cant get thrown out of and still hear good stories about some young idiots risking their lives

Telonius
2009-03-06, 03:58 PM
They're actually employed at the request of the insurance agency. Considering how many bars get burned down by adventurers, it's just a reasonable protection of their coverage.

Lycanthromancer
2009-03-06, 04:02 PM
Old, broken down, high-level fighters are a deterrent to young idealists to keep them from making the same mistakes.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did, young'uns! You'll regret it for the rest of your miserable lives! For the sake of your sanity, go warblade instead!"

Deepblue706
2009-03-06, 04:29 PM
Fighters are those who have lived a life of...fighting. After so much killing, I find it plausible that one would want to retire from the constant struggle, and live a simple life among that which he loves most; which for many warriors is often wine, women and song. Becoming a bartender is an easy means of obtaining these simple desires after having retired.

Satyr
2009-03-06, 04:46 PM
It actually has a historical background from the 30 years war. Back then, the massive levy of troups, especially in Prussia led to led to a high amount of former soldiers who never learned a real craft or owned land for agriculture, so they had little chance to earn their money apart from services, they either became beggars, mercenaries or barkeepers. There is even an old German saying describing this ("Wer nichts wird, wird Wirt").

oxybe
2009-03-06, 04:56 PM
actually bartender's college is one big dungeon. 10000 fighters go in, 32 come out.

the only way to best the dungeon is through knowledge of alcoholic beverages & how to mix them.

by that time they've graduated, they are high enough level to wield the apron of bartending +5.

Deathcon300
2009-03-06, 04:57 PM
Someone has to stop bar fights and throw out drunken patrons. A fighter is better suited for those tasks.

An alternative theory is that it is meant as a deterrent for the PCs who would otherwise loot the tavern.

brigs up a good point but also half there XP has been from all the bar fights they might have been only a medium level fighter there probobly higher now because every couple days a full out brawl started and the guy beat the crap out of everyone

:smallamused:

Deathcon300
2009-03-06, 05:10 PM
How many barfights do you see in bars? A freaking LOT. A bartender basically has to ride herd over barfights on a semi-regular basis. And, since its his bar, at the end of the evening everyone else has left, which means they have been defeated.

That's a LOT of XP.

wow i did not relize some one had all ready said that sry
(i dont read everything)
but its true

Roderick_BR
2009-03-06, 07:59 PM
Natural selection.
"Normal" bar owners tend to die when adventurers starts destroying everything. The ones that retired high level fighters tend to survive longer.
Also, they decided that it's better to work in a bar where younger adventurers pay gold for beer, than fighting high level monsters that can dance around them, or dominate their minds, or frighten them away.

Dairun Cates
2009-03-06, 08:13 PM
Seeing as how one of my characters at one point was a chronic alcoholic whose feats were built almost entirely on bar-fighting, it'd seem fitting that he'd use the money to buy a bar and retire.

Really, like everyone's said, it seems obvious with the number of bar fights in D&D that the good bartenders would be the ones that can end it. Honestly, I'd be more shocked at something ELSE running a bar.

A high-level bard- "Come on, guys. Don't fight. Let's sing a song instead!"

A high-level ranger- "The rooms are now 80% free of bear traps"

A high-level wizard- "Celerity. Time Stop. Forcecage. Dimensional Anchor. Cloud Kill. Teleport."

A high-level Cleric- "Have a... HEROES' FEAST! BADOOSH! That'll be 300 gold."

A high-level Necromancer- "Ignore the talking skull on the bar. What can I get you?"

A high-level Barbarian- "No no, Officer. I STARTED the bar fight. I wanted you to keep the patrons inside. It's boring otherwise."

A high-level Druid- "Where's the bar? What bar?"

Asbestos
2009-03-06, 08:26 PM
A high-level Necromancer- "Ignore the talking skull on the bar. What can I get you?"


I've seen this. The overhead isn't so bad since you don't have to pay your employees (cause you know, they're dead)

Kris Strife
2009-03-06, 08:32 PM
A high-level Druid- "Bar? I thought you said Bear!"

Fixed that for you.

Dairun Cates
2009-03-06, 08:34 PM
Touché, Kris Strife, touché.

Zincorium
2009-03-06, 08:41 PM
See, it all goes back to previous editions...

Way back, the fighter was actually a really good class. For more than two levels, which was good because you didn't get to just switch. Well, if you were human you could, but that was complicated. Oh! And you got experience points for getting treasure. As a bartender, your income got you xp. And if you serve other adventurers, you get lots of gold for each drink because you could charge whatever you darn well pleased.

Now, of course there were bartenders other than fighters. But edition changes happened. The rules of the universe overwrote themselves overnight. Now suddenly the magic users and priests and monks just vanished, and the new wizards and clerics replaced them. This would have been fine, except before long you could no longer earn xp that way, and the thieves and cavaliers dissappeared as well.

Fighters survived the edition changes, and retained their previously high levels. They're relics of the past, supercharged with ancient power that will not die.

toddex
2009-03-06, 08:47 PM
Because fighters suck at fighting. They're better at gaining XP through washing dishes and use their Improved Unarmed Strike to punch pinch the serving girls.

That is the most disturbing avatar ive seen on this site.

Zergrusheddie
2009-03-06, 08:51 PM
Well, it really is simple if you think about it:

A Drunk Wizard is no good; they can't cast!
A Drunk Sorcerer losses his cool composure; no Charisma when drunk!
A Monk is useless for breaking up fights!
A Druid would kill everyone in the bar if there was a fight!
A Barbarian would go nuts if someone spilled a drink and kill everyone!
A Cleric is too much of a downer to others when they are drinking!
A Paladin is worse than a Cleric!
A Rogue would steal too much from the register!
A Drunken Master would drink the entire place dry in a couple rounds!
The Warblades, Frenzied Berserkers, Swordsages, Duskblades, and other Martial classes are too busy living in their keeps from successful adventuring lives!

So, now you comes down to Fighters and Rangers...

The Fighter had a greater strength, so he could toss the drunks. Plus, all the non-male Elves are too busy working at the "more seedy dancing locations" and all the male elves are run out of town for being wimpy.

And now you know!

Lamech
2009-03-06, 09:01 PM
I thought it was the experience they got from breaking up fights... commoners are easy xp, so the the bartender skyrockets.

Or wizards get a job of not destroying the kingdom. Rouges get a job of not stealing. Clerics are forced given the privilege to spend the rest of eternity being there god's slave valued servant. A fighters? They get stuck running the bar, which carries the perk of not having powerful people ticked at you.

Keld Denar
2009-03-06, 09:02 PM
A Cleric is too much of a downer to others when they are drinking!

Apparently you've never heard of Wenta (from Greyhawk) or any of the other assorted beer deities? Or any Dwarven deities in general? There is a reason why Dwarven Holy Water has a minimum of 8% alcohol by volume, and it isn't to clean and disinfect undead...

Zincorium
2009-03-06, 09:18 PM
There is a reason why Dwarven Holy Water has a minimum of 8% alcohol by volume, and it isn't to clean and disinfect undead...

The idea of using holy (unholy?) water to clean and disinfect your skeletons has it's own aura of awesomeness :smallbiggrin:.

Keld Denar
2009-03-06, 09:21 PM
If you cast Prestidigitation during the creation of the holy water, it even has a fresh pine or lemon scent, chosen by the caster at time of casting.

Martha Stuart is a level 20 cleric//wizard lich...for sure.

monty
2009-03-06, 09:23 PM
Martha Stuart is a level 20 cleric//wizard lich...for sure.

With max ranks in Knowledge (stock market), of course.

Keld Denar
2009-03-06, 09:27 PM
With max ranks in Knowledge (stock market), of course.

And no ranks in Knowledge: US Insider Trading Laws...and she rolled a nat 1.

Seriously, how dumb would you have to be to NOT know you were doing something illegal there, and expect not to get caught...

Anyway, I think we've sufficiently derailed the topic. Anyone want to help steer it back on coarse?

monty
2009-03-06, 09:30 PM
Anyway, I think we've sufficiently derailed the topic. Anyone want to help steer it back on coarse?

I'm sorry, are you new here? We have no concept of "sufficiently derailed."

krossbow
2009-03-06, 09:35 PM
Clerics are forced given the privilege to spend the rest of eternity being there god's slave valued servant.

But Grandfather Nergul loves his children!

sentaku
2009-03-06, 10:20 PM
Well, it really is simple if you think about it:

A Drunk Wizard is no good; they can't cast!
A Drunk Sorcerer losses his cool composure; no Charisma when drunk!
A Monk is useless for breaking up fights!
A Druid would kill everyone in the bar if there was a fight!
A Barbarian would go nuts if someone spilled a drink and kill everyone!
A Cleric is too much of a downer to others when they are drinking!
A Paladin is worse than a Cleric!
A Rogue would steal too much from the register!
A Drunken Master would drink the entire place dry in a couple rounds!
The Warblades, Frenzied Berserkers, Swordsages, Duskblades, and other Martial classes are too busy living in their keeps from successful adventuring lives!

So, now you comes down to Fighters and Rangers...

The Fighter had a greater strength, so he could toss the drunks. Plus, all the non-male Elves are too busy working at the "more seedy dancing locations" and all the male elves are run out of town for being wimpy.

And now you know!

It is simple, it's a team effort.
A wizard makes the beer.
A Sorcerer makes everything else.
A monk - is one customers.
A Barbarian - sits outside the bar and keeps troublemakers from entering.
A bard sings songs about buying more beer.
A rouge makes sure everyone tips.
A cleric keeps people from getting drunk to fast.

Worira
2009-03-06, 10:35 PM
I could see druids making good bartenders, actually. They could sell "natural herbal remedies" along with beer.

ericgrau
2009-03-07, 12:18 AM
Because PCs have a habit of causes trouble in taverns. The DM gets fed up and introduces bartender ex machina to stop it. Though IMO he should just send a few city guards instead. A few 1st-3rd level, several 1st-3rd level with some 5th level or an army depending on the PC's level. That makes a lot more sense.

Kris Strife
2009-03-07, 01:30 AM
Since we're on the topic, could a dwarf druid turn into a dire beer?

Zergrusheddie
2009-03-07, 01:35 AM
Since we're on the topic, could a dwarf druid turn into a dire beer?

If they could, Dwarves would be cannibals, at least when a Druid was concerned!
I wonder if they could drink themselves?...

ocato
2009-03-07, 02:40 AM
It's simple, the same optimizer-elitists who talk about how awful non-ToB melee classes are are also way too hip to have their parties hang out in or begin adventuring at the local tavern. Therefore, Fighters can hide out and talk about how cool they are in 4e in relative safety.

Kris Strife
2009-03-07, 02:48 AM
If they could, Dwarves would be cannibals, at least when a Druid was concerned!
I wonder if they could drink themselves?...

Why do you think you never see dwarf druids?

BobVosh
2009-03-07, 02:59 AM
My epic level Frenzied Beserker started a bar for the down time on adventuring. He wanted to fight, and he figured the best way was to randomly rip off the strongest looking people. Where do the strongest men go? Bars. Seemed perfect. Poor saps, he sure frenzied a long time.

Dairun Cates
2009-03-07, 04:26 AM
Because PCs have a habit of causes trouble in taverns. The DM gets fed up and introduces bartender ex machina to stop it. Though IMO he should just send a few city guards instead. A few 1st-3rd level, several 1st-3rd level with some 5th level or an army depending on the PC's level. That makes a lot more sense.

That avatar has EPIC levels of Pulchritude.

kamuishirou
2009-03-07, 05:00 AM
Why do you think you never see dwarf druids?

doo-dad, doo-dad!

edit: With 4ed, Dwarves make great Druids :).

Swordguy
2009-03-07, 09:05 AM
They come from people who played the game with way it was SUPPOSED to be played - dungeon-crawling parties of Fighter Cleric, Rogue, blasty Wizard with a GM who plays monsters the way WotC intended them to be played - who stick to the Fighter while the Rogue and Wizard blow them up. Now, because people don't play the game correctly anymore, it stands to reason that you'd be confused about where they come from, since it's evidently PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to level a Fighter past about level 7, and still a) enjoy the game, b) have the fighter survive, c) not have the player collapse and be institutionalized from the void of suck that is the fighter class. I mean, judging from the Internet, anyway.

Also, +1 to Zincorium.

Aquillion
2009-03-07, 09:32 AM
Please let's not go there. Every group has their own way of playing the game, and no one way is 'wrong'. WotC just sucks at playtesting and were constrained by their desire to keep 'legacy' abilities or themes without concern for balance.

Also, the real reason: Bartender as a high-level fighter is something that's relatively easy to play out. Few players are going to object if the bartender turns out to be really tough and have a lot of BAB, even if it's technically a bit silly for him to be so high level.

If the Bartender drops a Resilient Sphere or Solid Fog or Wall of Force on them to break up a fight that they wanted to have, though, the players are likely to complain, because, geez, level 20 caster bartender? Wild Shaping bartender? Bartender summoning a magic paladin mount? It feels silly. Bartender taking a punch and then hitting you real hard back, not so much.

It's just easier to quietly dump a bunch of BAB and HP into a creature than it is to dump a bunch of caster levels or other obvious class features. Players will notice it a lot more, and it'll make the setting feel strange.

oxybe
2009-03-07, 01:05 PM
it's like old the song goes:

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the barkeep in a town called Bel'air

In west Sasserine born and raised
On the battlefield was where I spent most of my days
killin' blood spillin' slayin' all cool
And crossbowin' some gnome acting like a fool
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in the fiefhood
we got in one little fight and my lord got scared
he said 'You're goin' with your party and saving us all here!"

I begged and pleaded with him day after day
But he said "pack your bags" and sent me on my way
me wife gave me a kiss and said "i hope you make it".
I jumped on my horse on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

Demons & devils, yo this is bad
The life of a hero ain't no champaign glass.
Is this what the rest 'o my life's gonna be like?
i always knew i shouldn't have been a knight.

But wait I hear there're more, deeper plots and all that
Is Baator the type of place they'd send this armored rat?
I sure don't hope so
I'll see when I get there
they better be prepared for the my funeral when they drag my ashes from here

Well, we landed on the plane and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a balor standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get killed
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness and like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for my steed and when it came near
we ran like the wind until the iron tower was standing right there
If anything I can say this feeling is rare
wet, soggy armor really chafes down there

I ran up the tower and face the ancient lord
And a swing of the sword fell the beast like a board
I returned to my old kingdom
It was finally safe there
"**** this **** i'm retiring to Bel'Air"

ericgrau
2009-03-07, 01:45 PM
That avatar has EPIC levels of Pulchritude.

Thanks, glad you noticed. I assembled it in MS Paint :smallbiggrin: followed by a clean resize in irfanview.

Kris Strife
2009-03-07, 01:48 PM
When a mommy fighter bartender and a daddy fighter bartender love each other very much...

LibraryOgre
2009-03-07, 02:26 PM
A canon explanation for one high-level fighter bartender: Durnan, from the Yawning Portal, in Waterdeep.

He got lost in Undermountain for a while.

LibraryOgre
2009-03-07, 02:30 PM
it's like old the song goes:


Bravo! Encore!

Zen Master
2009-03-07, 07:55 PM
Adventurers are like rockstars. Some make it, some die - but the very great majority who have the talent, never make it big. Maybe they just never met the rest of the party - maybe it's stage fright. Who can tell.

But for every adventurer out there, there will be a hundred who have the stats, the skill and the training - but who are men-at-arms for the local lord, muscle for the local gang, random highway men, mercenaries ... and so on and so on.

So there's enough to chose from. Why do they wind up in bars? My guess is they spent so much time there anyways - they might as well make a decent copper while they're there.

Zergrusheddie
2009-03-07, 07:58 PM
Why do you think you never see dwarf druids?

For a few different reasons:

The Druids drink themselves to death. This is a hell on an accomplishment for a Dwarf.
The Druid gets drunk at a party and turns into a beer; the rest of the party goers are on him like a pack of dogs on a 3 legged cat.
The Druid finds a cave and never ever leaves. He has beer and he has Forage/Survival to get all the beer nuts he needs; he ain't goin' anywhere!

krossbow
2009-03-07, 08:17 PM
Now that i think about, the more i'm determined to make the very NEXT bartender my Characters interact with a retired Paladin of Freedom. Smite evil with a beer mug to the face.









However, i will admit, the sad thing about fighter bartenders is it does seem to imply that fighters are basically ornery hobos; their one real skill seems to be drinking and beating people up. I somewhat prefer the implication of the second dungeons and dragons movie (as bad as it was :smalltongue: ) that high level fighters end up with titles or military ranks for one of the kingdoms they quested in.

Keld Denar
2009-03-07, 08:27 PM
Smite evil with a beer mug to the face.


Hmmmm, better yet would be a Warblade bartender.

Greater Insightful Strike with a beer mug to the face!
Ancient Mountain Hammer with a beer mug to smash through the wall!

Kudos if you can drop your enemy without spilling!

Aquillion
2009-03-07, 09:11 PM
I somewhat prefer the implication of the second dungeons and dragons movie (as bad as it was :smalltongue: ) that high level fighters end up with titles or military ranks for one of the kingdoms they quested in.This was actually part of the rules in AD&D / 2e. Well, they got a keep, anyhow.

I thought it was fairly clever, and one solution to the caster / fighter problem when you have that kind of high magic at higher levels -- by the time the game has started to shift into "abstract" power like the sort granted by high-level spells, the fighter has a political / social power base enough to keep up. At least, it keeps them from being irrelevant even if the rest of the party starts to focus more on oddball plans and so on, rather than just killing dragons.

Kris Strife
2009-03-07, 10:11 PM
You know, bartenders probably like paladins coming in...

Even if they cant drink alchohol their party will, the pally might order food and a soft drink, he wont cause a fight and he'll tip at least 15% on the party bill if given decent service.

Thurbane
2009-03-07, 10:16 PM
My flatmate/DM has a theory on this: adventurers (particularly Fighters) are the fantasy world equivalent of football/sports stars. They get rich and powerful, then decide to buy and run a pub in retirement. This happens a LOT in Australia, anyway. :smalltongue:

Yahzi
2009-03-08, 01:37 PM
by the time the game has started to shift into "abstract" power like the sort granted by high-level spells, the fighter has a political / social power base enough to keep up.
Actually, in 2ed the Wizard could build a tower, clear an area of monsters, and collect taxes.

He didn't get a free army, but the fighter's army was 100 or so 0th level guys, so they weren't that much help.

Presumably the wizard could hire the fighter and his army to guard his lands. :smallsmile:

Khanderas
2009-03-09, 05:04 AM
As a fighter grows up and matures, he realises how crazy it is to run out into the wilderness to kill bugbears for bugbear guts and leftovers from fighters less skilled then he.
Not to mention, cold rainy weather (he has scars that ache all the time, twice as much when its cold, and twice as much again if he is wet), mushrooms grows in his beard, hygeine means you use a stick to wipe yourself (not everyday you find a stick / leaves)..

It all adds up to make a buissness.
As he problebly do not have much experience of buissness apart from adventuring, setting up shop for the younger generation is the logical next step. After selling some of the loot, he buys or builds a tavern and the rest is history.

FatR
2009-03-09, 05:22 AM
Because taverns, are, like, the center of adventurers' social life. So, various bronze medalists of adventuring, who are too weak to conquer a kingdom for themselves or secure a position of king's champion and too old to keep adventuring, use their last big haul to buy a tavern. First, it is a familiar environment, second, by doing this they remain in contact with the new generation of adventurers and get a steady profit by connecting young hotshots to people who provide jobs or special equipment and getting their percentage from each deal. They are always fighters, it is fighters who usually fail to achieve greater things (and monks prefer to meditate on their failure at life in seclusion).

FatR
2009-03-09, 05:33 AM
This was actually part of the rules in AD&D / 2e. Well, they got a keep, anyhow.

I thought it was fairly clever, and one solution to the caster / fighter problem when you have that kind of high magic at higher levels -- by the time the game has started to shift into "abstract" power like the sort granted by high-level spells, the fighter has a political / social power base enough to keep up. At least, it keeps them from being irrelevant even if the rest of the party starts to focus more on oddball plans and so on, rather than just killing dragons.
But, really, does it? Why a powerful spellcaster should care about petty politics and social life of powerless mortals and how a bunch of 0-levels can meaningfully help a high-level fighter?

Khanderas
2009-03-09, 06:31 AM
But, really, does it? Why a powerful spellcaster should care about petty politics and social life of powerless mortals and how a bunch of 0-levels can meaningfully help a high-level fighter?
Why would a spellcaster care about anything, once up at that level ?
He can kill anything he wishes dead (problebly has already). He can create his own demiplane. If he wishes immortality he is problebly halfway to lichdom anyway, or retire to a timeless plane where he does not age (Limbo or one of his own creation).

Frankly he already has done all he would ever want to do, why not politics ?

While there is little 0 level commoners can do for a high level fighter in a dungeon, owning a dukedom that you gained though your own merits is kind of cool. As a newly appointed noble, you now have access to more then dank dungeons and non-humans to kill.

xPANCAKEx
2009-03-09, 07:48 AM
the tavern is the fighters win button. Don't go near a tavern if you're not a fighter. Seriously. Just don't.

The fighters are the REAL high int/wis class

heres why

fighters realise early that pretty much all skills are covered by someone else in their party, and only take Ride skill points if they REALLY have to avoid falling off dobby at anything other than a light canter

so they realise while the wizard wastes money on gems to crush into spells, rogues on new disguises, bards on a new lute, druids on a new plantation, clerics on tithes to temple, and the monks are too busy transcending life as we know it; that if they dump a lot of ranks into profession (barkeep) and have all their minions do the same, they can open up a chain of taverns in a major town

they may be the lowest powered of the classes... but they sure are the richest.

besides - anyone who argues with them will be suffering severe dex, wis, int and cha drain after all the free booze the fighter can pile into them. Drink em under the table. Wait for them to pass out. COUP DE GRACE!

whos the smarty pants now mr wizard! huh? HUH! ME! GRISWOLD! TAVERN OWNER EXTRO...EXTRO........ IM REALLY GOOD! YEEEEEEEEEEAH!

BRC
2009-03-09, 09:13 AM
My theory, all Fighters know that, while they are necessary at low levels, when the wizard can cast magic missile three times a day at most, as the levels get higher they basically become pack mules/ the guy in charge of lugging the corpses to the temple when a teamate fails a saving throw. Or as the guy who walks in front when the rogue dosn't have time to check for and disarm traps. Finally, their only role is best summed up as "+4 cover bonus for the wizard). But they stay with groups and get loot anyway, provided they get in early, when a guy who can hit things with other things is vital.

Therefore, all retired fighters open bars, and work to ensure those bars are full of novice fighters that they can insert into any adventuring parties that come up.

Oslecamo
2009-03-09, 10:57 AM
No, no, you're geting it all wrong. This is what really happens.
´
We have a high level party who just defeated the BBEG and can now retire. But:

1-Nobody has seen the wizard for more than a year. He said something about being too afraid of the real world and now hides in some interdimensional hole all day long refusing to have contact with anyone in fear they're a random ecounter.

2-The druid never leaves wildshape. Kinda hard serving drinks with claws.

3-The barbarian still doesn't know how to read. Can't start a business.

4-The other martial guys got kiled by that last BBEG's counter attack when they charged in bragging how good they were, while the fighter was smart enough to stand back plucking arrows untill the wizard imobilized the monster and then the fighter delivered the coup de grace.

5-The cleric is still trying to find a way to bring back to life the above guys.

6-The rogue was last seen saying he had to go to the bathroom. Then the party realized all the loot they had gained had disapeared.