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View Full Version : Working out Issues a Miko and Roy story



Onmi
2009-03-12, 04:28 AM
Written to shake the rust loose, so it will probably be bad, anyway, Enjoy.

Timeframe: The period Roy is training with his Grandfather

---

Don't.
'Overbearing self-righteous bitch'
Stop it.
'Why do you think she's picked for the long missions in far away countries'
You don't get it.
'When was the last time you showed "concern for the dignity of sentient beings"?'
Don't make me remember these things!
'Do it...c'mon do it'
Please...
'Redemption requires more than simply the execution of your duties'
Don't make me remember all this
'Face it human, you're every bit as much of an 'Unnatural Abomination' as he is'
I don't wanna be alone anymore, I don't WANT to remember... so please... someone help me.
I can't actually believe I wanted to date you at one point.
Don't you turn on me to... I'm all alone. Hinjo, My lord ,Roy please...

And with that though Miko Miyazaki awoke well... not really, a corporal body does not sleep like a living beings. She was simply in the pit of redemption, a part of the Celestial Realm that allowed those who arrived in Celestia to seek personal redemption for past sins, however Miko had no control over what she saw. Indeed she couldn't even stop her 'soul' from crying for help, was THAT supposed to be redemption? listening to some pitifully alone version of herself beg for aid or cower in fear? Pathetic! she was a Paladin, she knew no fear.

But she wasn't really anymore, Greenhilt has stolen that from her.
'But he didn't really, I struck down my lord she shook her head fiercely, That stupid pit was telling her lies, she should just complain to her Archon or something.

---

Elsewhere Roy Greenhilt was preparing for his resurrection, of course the girls were STILL a week away so preparation consisted of him mastering skills his Grandfather was offering. Course he wasn't REALLY learning anything but it beat the hell out of sitting around waiting for time to pass. Plus his Grandfather really knew a thing or two about fighting, if he could just nail that technique he could stand a chance in a few levels.

"Total Time?"
"Total time has been 7 days, 14 hours, and 30 minutes."
"Thanks," Roy turned from his Archon when a headache struck him, a bolt of pain shot through his brain as he collapsed gasping, "I thought... Pain didn't exist up here!" He spat at his Archon between heavy gasps.
"Well it doesn't except..."
"Except what?" the golden light hesitated it's pulses slowing down.
"Unless someone who wanted to do you gratuitous harm was on the same Realm of existence."
"Sorta like your ears burning?"
"Yes, except that's entirely speculation." Roy shook his head, who would want to hurt him... okay more specifically,who on the Lawful Good plane of existence would want to hurt him? The only person like that couldn't have... would she have...
"Archon?"
"Yes Roy?"
"Would I be able to find out other souls in this plane of existence?"
"You would, Why?"
"I don't think I'm going to like this."

---

Miko knelt motionlessly on the Hill of Climactic Duels, her Archon had passed a message that another person had wanted to meet her here. She didn't know who exactly but she was beginning to suspect.

"Greenhilt has climbed from the lower realms to this one to try to kill me again."
'Why would he travel all this way just to kill you?' that other side of her wondered, She shrugged off that consciousness as A well built black fighter walked up the hill.
"Greenhilt." She hissed
"I knew you were the cause of my headache," He bemoaned.
"How did YOU get up here!" They shouted in union.
"Xykon killed me... or well the FALL killed me but he sorta sped it up."
"So you had a falling out with your boss!"
"That's not it at all Miko! If you weren't such a stubborn idiot neither of us would be dead!"
"This is my fault you traitorous swine!"
"Oh here we go again! I am NOT a traitor!"
Roy's Archon pulsed a little.
"Uh Roy... having an affair constitutes a Chaotic action you know? does Celia know about you and her?"
At that Roy wretched at the same time Miko drew her Katana Shakily.
"Are you out of your mind! Miko is a tight-arsed, blind IDIOT who kills anything that doesn't fit in her worthless mindset!" He shot.
"Take that back you sniveling Chaotic-Evil, Bald, mess of a man! Harboring Murderers and Thieves!" Miko now knew why he had chosen THIS location, they could NOT peacefully coexist.

"This is stupid," She whispered taking a fighting stance, "We both know how this is going to end." Roy reached behind his back as his Grandfathers sword appeared.
"What's the matter? Afraid I'll bring up how your an unloved orphan, who's parent's probably abandoned her at sight?" within a second he noticed the katana logged in his stomach.
"Take that back!" She screamed as he forced her back the wound sealing up.
"And why the hell should I!" he struck between her eyes, the blade cleaving her in twain, her body quickly sealing.
"What." Roy's Archon asked, "They're dead, they can't die again."

Miko charged again her boots connecting with the bottom off Roy's jaw, as the fighter fell backwards he swung his sword upwards slicing the offending legs off before quickly beheading the shocked ex-paladin. The wounds quickly sealed up as Miko struck rapidly, Roy's arms falling to the ground as she swung wide the top half of his body falling over.

The two continued their duel for a day, each time they killed one another the other would simply heal and charge back into the fray.

"Whats the matter! you die to much for you to be in the 'right'" Roy taunted, why was he panting you don't get tired in Celestia, was it the hill? Miko wasn't doing any better herself, they had gone from one hit kills to long drawn out combat.
"And you... are to vulgar to be the hero." she struck with an ungraceful over the head strike, Roy took the opening and cut deep into her. As he pulled back she collapsed to the ground tears welling in her eyes.
"You don't understand what it's like." she hiccuped as Roy didn't break stance.
"Understand what?"
"What it's like to be hated by everyone, to be alone." she looked up at him, and for the first time Roy actually felt sorry for the ex-Paladin.
"Don't you get it yet? even in the orphanage nobody wanted to be near me. As a Paladin they all avoided me, not even the priests at the monastery wanted anything to do with me. All I had was my duty and my belief." She didn't know why she was spilling her heart to Greenhilt, but over the day she had begun to work things out, why she couldn't allways win, why he was up here.
"You had friends everywhere, all your life you had someone to stand next to you... You were the first person I could actually consider close to me, you and Durkon, How ridiculous! I thought I had found two people who could... I don't know! relate to me!" She sobbed openly now, "But neither of you understood me, I never understood you either. We were completely incompatible. I was such an idiot for putting my heart out their!" Roy felt his grandfathers sword disappear, he no longer needed it he could tell. He knelt before Miko, her eyes shining with tears.
"Don't you get it?" she asked softly, "I'm all alone." two powerful arms gripped her she felt her head rest softly upon Roy's shoulder.
"You're not alone. You made mistakes... lots of mistakes. But you wouldn't be up here unless the Deva THOUGHT you had tried your best." her tears dripped down his Pauldrons, as her breathing evened out.
'I think... I understand what the Pit was trying to tell me now' She thought to herself wrapping her arms around his waist. This wasn't a romance they didn't love one another, but he was definitely forgiving her, he was offering a shoulder.

---

"I have to go, If I don't prepare for Xykon then the worlds going to be in trouble" Roy said as he stood up, the two had visited a crystalline lake, with beautiful green fields and tall powerful trees to provide a relaxing setting.
"Roy." She asked softly tugging at his arm, "Will you... Raise me?" she asked hopefully, Roy patted her hand softly.
"I don't know if I'll be able to Miko... but if I can, I promise I will raise you one day." he meant that honestly. She smiled softly letting him go.

'Thank you, Roy Greenhilt, I think I understand what Lord Shojo meant about taking responsibility. I think I'll be able to rest much more peacefully now.'

END

Written under the Assumption:
~Roy didn't train all that time.
~Miko was still Lawful Good when she died, and was let into Celestia because she had done her duty, albeit with bad consequences.
~The 'Hill of Climactic Battles' Allows rivals of the same Alignment to work out any and all differences, hence why the battles become harder and the characters feel tired.
~There is a place in Celestia for those who feel they have sinned to seek inner repentance.
~Miko was alone for her childhood, her only companion being her mount.
~The Celestial Realms are very sensitive to spirits, hence one person attempting to seek another out would give them a feeling, since they don't really feel, it's very noticeable, in this case it was Malice.

Constructive Criticism is demanded tough keep in mind I wrote this to shake the rust loose because I haven't written in a while.

Felixaar
2009-03-12, 06:27 AM
Heh, entertaining. How would Celia react? I think a sequel is on the cards, here...

edit: oh, constructive criticism? Hm, okay...

Could have used a bit of proof reading, some grammar and punctuation is a little wrong. Also, long paragraphs bother me but that's a personal thing.

Need a little more transition between the fight scene and the making-up scene, maybe a little more dialogue. At current it's just "Snap! She's better!"

In general things just need to be a little clearer, a little more tidied up. I think that if you rewrote this it could be very good.

Onmi
2009-03-12, 11:20 PM
Could definitly have used proof reading, unfortunatly I have no editors who know OoTS so asking them would be as useful as hitting myself in the crown jewls with a bag of doorknobs. Painful and hilarious to onlookers.

My grammer and punctuation is bad, I mean I don't even have an excuse for this, how I'm writing a novel without my editor collapsing my lungs every time I give her a chapter is a mystery to me.

Maybe i'll go back and put a transition, I can see what you mean about it being bothersome.

Still I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'm sorry for subjecting you to my unedited, rusty work.

Felixaar
2009-03-13, 08:33 AM
Heh, no worries. A few things...

1) You can always proofread your own work.

2) Never be ashamed of your work!

3) What's your novel about?

4) Come to the Australia itP thread in Friendly Banter and tell us all where you're from and stuff!

Onmi
2009-03-13, 09:19 AM
Heh, no worries. A few things...

1) You can always proofread your own work.

2) Never be ashamed of your work!

3) What's your novel about?

4) Come to the Australia itP thread in Friendly Banter and tell us all where you're from and stuff!

1) Still haven't gotten to that part of the Professional writing course, it's right up there with not seeing little kids as cute.

2) It's a joke, I never mind making them at my own expense.

3) A mecha story in which two privileged boys from the Sky Colonies get wound up in the conflict with the Angels and go to the surface in search of their own personal freedom. Along the way they form an army from the slaves they rescue, other Angels, and runners from the UCA and URF.

It's fueled by Rule of Cool, Genre Savvy characters, Comedy, and some totally out of it mecha designs.

4) Will do.


;.; lack of comments makes a writer weep.