Funniest Thing ever said while playing?

[Zergrusheddie]

To all ye Pen and Paper people out there, what would be some of the funniest things you have ever heard while playing? Here is one:

The party is in a bizarre kind of dungeon. They eventually come across an ooze made entirely of feces (the DM wasn't a freak, it was straight from a module). Since they had already expended most of their magic and healing in a few other fights, they were forced to flee with 'Mr. Brown' chasing them. As they were running away with the ooze gaining on them, the Fighter shouts off "This brings a whole new meaning to the term crap's rolling down hill!" The DM couldn't breathe for about twenty minutes.

I'm looking forward to some of these responses.
-Eddie

[NPCMook]

During a Session of Star Wars d6, the party which consisted of 4PCs, and 3NPCs one of which was a wookie NPC who had sworn a Life debt to the bounty hunter PC. While Camping my NPC droid was on look out with one of the other PCs, the DM described that we heard a low growl, and I quickly turned to another player and whispered "Holy ****, I think the Wookie is rubbing one out!" I broke our DM for the night, and nearly killed another player(literally) Sadly the next session the Wookie died.

[Rhiannon87]

Among my many jobs as the group stenographer, I keep a quote book full of hilarious quotes from our games. A few of which are featured in my signature line. The vast majority are inside jokes or would require a lot of context. Here's a couple others:

We need to sneak into a castle, and my gnome druid (in owl form) says she can go scout around. The following conversation ensues:

"Can you turn into a chair?" - Hvall to Carawyn
"No, a chair's not alive." - Carawyn (in owl form)
"What about a chair made of bones?"
"No, that'd be, like, kind of undead."
"What about a chair made of meat?"
"That's not alive. I have to turn into something alive."
"What about a chair made of owls?"
"I have invisibility, you know." - Simarwyn (wizard)
"Can that turn her into a chair?" - Hvall

Same game: exploring some caves, we encounter and kill an ooze. The party fighter has this to say:

“We could dip the bag of holding in the ooze, then cut it in half, then we'd have two!” - Erdrich
“...That logic is so bad, I think you just lost intelligence.” - Anthon (cleric)

We also have a character in a different game who, when someone annoys him, declares his displeasure with the following formulaic sentence: "There are two things I hate: [very weird food], and [whatever has annoyed him]." Hence we get quotes like this:

(After being held underwater for a round) "There are two things I hate--" (shoved back underwater for three rounds) "--jackalope sausage, and you!" - Foster, to zombie trying to drown him

[Tensu]

Well, my players aren't very good at getting into character, so most of the best lines in a decade or so of playing have been from NPCs. However, occasionally They'll give me something like:

"I'm not antagonizing him, I'm blowing him up! It's different!"

[Shadowbane]

There was this NPC in an Eberron game we were playing. He was an evil NPC, and I was a paladin. He also kept using the word "outrageous." I didn't like him. Anyway, I kept my sword and urge to arrest him in check until he finally got us into a huge bit of trouble, and then tried to take the treasure.

Timir: No, the treasure belongs to those who put their lives in danger in that battle. You do not get any.
NPC: Outrageous! I am *insert name here*!
Timir: Yes, you are beginning to outrage me. Shut up.
NPC: Outrageous! But I am *insert name here*!
Timir: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I broke the DM for some reason.

And then later. When we fought an evil wizard, he summoned a zombie that killed my mount. I named my mount "My Father."

Timir: Hello. My name is Timir Randock. You killed My Father. Prepare to die.

[Yukitsu]

Me: So we stole his cattle, ransacked his town, blew up a few of his villages, and defeated his assassins, but it's talking to Sirus (another player character) that caused him to declare war?
DM: Yeah.

[Cedrass]

Dwarf Barbarian: Hey guys I want a horse, but haven't got enough money, care to spare some?
Me and the Rogue: No way you don't need it.
Me: Get a poney, they cost less.
Dwarf: Will he grow into a horse?

Strange thing, it did. (DM messed around :smalltongue:)

[Assassin89]

In a recent session, I played as a LN cleric with a bard cohort.
With the current party of six members, there was a joke about Scooby-Doo.

DM: We have Fred (Me), Shaggy (Human Psychic Warrior), Velma (Warforged healer), Daphne (Stonechild) and Scooby (Hound Archon Monk)
Me: and Scrappy (referring to bard)

More jokes involving hound archons

*While fighting shadow creatures*
Me: I'm going to attack that S.O.B.
Hound Archon Monk: I take offense to that comment.

*Hound Archon Monk's player is being briefed on what happened in a previous session and find out that an illumian fighter was turned into a werwolf)
Hound Archon: If I was evil, I could make you my {censored, but those familiar with dog terminology can get the joke}

[Halna LeGavilk]

(*In a tavern in a dwarven town*)

Myself (Human Wizard): Ugh. I hate dwarf towns. No good-looking women.
Cleric (Half-fiend): I disagree.
Myself: How so?
Cleric: Look at all these dwarf women! Very beautiful indeed!
Myself: What?
Cleric: I love the beauty of dwarf women!
Myself: Those furballs? There's nothing there but hair! If you tried to shave them, there'd be nothing left! They are rediculously ugly little balls of hair!
Fighter (dwarf): I have to agree.
Myself: SEE?! Even the dwarf doesn't like dwarf women!

[xPANCAKEx]

recently we've got into a massive scrap in a bandit camp in our gurps campaign... this led to 5 minutes of some of the WORST puns i've ever been part of

"that looks like some inTENTs fighting"
"its a TENTs moment"
"i hope he doesn't PEG it"

que massive groans all round but we were all pissing ourselves laughing

[Dhavaer]

Halfling jumps up on the evil altar, raises his magic ring to the sky and yells "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!"

He's immediately hit by a bolt of lightning and his soul is eaten by a dark god.

[LucyHarris]

Oh, man. The groups I've played with have been consistently good at churning these out. Here's some that I remember off the top of my head:


Wizard: I've never seen an invisible wall before...but then again, you wouldn't.

Character on a failed Int check: Lemons are yellow inside.

Artificer: In a few more levels, I can start becoming a lich! *a beat* That was out of character, by the way.

Paladin, to an orphan: Are your parents home?

I can't recall who said this next one, or what adventure it was, but I love it:
"Your axe got in the way of my diplomacy!"

[Lycan 01]

"HIS FACE IS IN MY MUTTON CHOPS!!!!"



This is essentially my RPG group's motto now. It was uttered a few weeks ago, during what was supposed to be the plot twist but instead turned out to be the grand finale of my special Call of Cthulhu "Friday the 13th Special" I'd cooked up.

In essence:

Player A found an elephant gun.
Player B, already psychologically unstable, wanted the elephant gun for himself. He tried to tackle Player A... who was standing in front of a large, roaring fireplace.
Player A managed to resist being thrown into the fire, but he was still being grabbed from behind.
Player B decided that if he couldn't have the gun, no one could, and thus began to roll Strength checks to push Player A and himself into the fire.
Player C, who'd been pretty much Incapped for most of this session due to an acid bath and massive sanity loss, suddenly barges into the room, and shoots Player B in the head.
Player A gets hit with the resulting spray from his friend's exploding head.

I asked Player A to make a Sanity check. He asked why. I explained that Player B's head had been next to his, due to how they were wrestling. Player B had been shot in the back of the skull - thus, his face was the exit wound. It had been for a ton of damage, too, so I ruled the exit wound was massive. So, in essence, Player B's face exploded into Player A's hair.

Its important to note that Player A also had massive muttonchops (bushy sideburns), and we'd been making many jokes about them all scenario.

So finally, to explain to him the gravity of the situation, I just looked at him and said, "You know what, his face is in your muttonchops."

Oooooh, his reaction was priceless... A horrified expression, followed by the shrill screaming of the phrase: "HIS FACE IS IN MY MUTTONCHOPS?!?!?!"



Oh... And for Star Wars...

I told my friends this little piece of info right after a long and insane session:

"3 days later, Watto died of cancer."

Now, thats not really funny in itself. But you need to read the funny conversation that occured an hour before-hand, first...

DM/me: "So... You want to go over to the attractive Twie'lek in the corner... And tell her that your friend has cancer... And that he'll pay 50,000 credits to the first sexy female that flashes him?
Very cocky Dug SOB/my friend: "Y-"
DM/me: "No, I'm not finished. You want to tell her that, because... according to you... he has no family or friends... and he only has a few days left to live... so he wants to die happy with the fact... that he saw a hot alien chick's boobs?"
Dug/friend: "Y-"
DM/me: "Not done yet! I just want to be clear about this... You want to tell her all that? When in reality... Watto wants proof that the Twie'lek chick in the corner... is really your daughter-in-law... who you're willing to make have sex with him... in exchange for him giving you a small discount at his shop? And this proof... is her flashing him for no apparent reason? Are we clear?"
Dug/friend: "Yep."
DM/me: "Okay. Just so we're clear..."

He in-character spoke with both Watto (the winged alien for SW Ep 1) and the random Twie'lek check, and very well, too. In fact, he actually did make up all the cancer stuff on the spot, and very convincigly. So I lowered the Deception DCs... And he rolled high enough to get them.

But he spent a Destiny Point just to be sure.

:smalleek:


The end result?

Watto got flashed, pretended to have cancer after the Twie'lek chick began to cry about him dying, won his 1 to (insert population of Tattoine here) bet on one of the PCs winning the swoop tournament the scenario was built around, got 50 million credits out of the deal, and went on to live a life of luxery with his new-found "friend"...

Only, as I told my players... "3 days later, Watto died of cancer."

When they finally stopped laughing enough to ask why, I simply said: "Hey, you used a Destiny Point on a lie you'd convinced everyone to be true. So... it became true. As it turned out, Watto had cancer, and like you said, he only had 3 days to live. But they were the best 3 days of his life, thanks to you."


I had since added a new rule: "Destiny Points cannot be used to give people cancer."

NOTE: I apologize to anyone who was offended by my story. Cancer in itself is not funny. I was simply mocking the irony of it, not the disease itself. So to anyone who may be insulted, I did not mean to offend you. So yeah, just making sure we're clear on that before anybody gets mad at me... :smalleek:

[Wafflecart]

NOTE: I apologize to anyone who was offended by my story. Cancer in itself is not funny. I was simply mocking the irony of it, not the disease itself. So to anyone who may be insulted, I did not mean to offend you. So yeah, just making sure we're clear on that before anybody gets mad at me...

I've lost 2 loved ones to cancer, and sick though I'm sure it is, I'd rather laugh at death than cry. I have lost family to this disease, and I approve this joke.

[Zergrusheddie]

While Camping my NPC droid was on look out with one of the other PCs, the DM described that we heard a low growl, and I quickly turned to another player and whispered "Holy ****, I think the Wookie is rubbing one out!" I broke our DM for the night, and nearly killed another player(literally) Sadly the next session the Wookie died.

I don't even want to know why you thought of a Wookie Pee-Wee Herman so quickly...

[d13]

I've lost 2 loved ones to cancer, and sick though I'm sure it is, I'd rather laugh at death than cry. I have lost family to this disease, and I approve this joke.

Same here.
You may have peace in your mind.

Funniest Thing:

Paladin (to me): "So... Let me get this clear. Someone stole the old lady's balls?"
Me (DM): "So it seems" (not getting the obvious pun... Lame xD)
Paladin (to the party): "OK, guys. It seems like we're dealing with some sort of code-less surgeon"

And EVERYTHING with the straightest face ever xD.

Hilarity ensued.

[Graymayre]

Scenario 1: A guard is blocking our group from entering an abandoned house.
Wizard (OOC to me): He won't just let us through. Maybe we can bribe him...
Barbarian (me): *picks a dog-sized boulder on the ground and flies into a rage* PERSUAAAASION!

Scenario 2: Trying to spot something
Druid (me): I got a 22.
Barbarian: *rolls a 1 with a -4 in spot* MY EYES! THEY BURN!

Scenario 3: Evil wizard casts mirror image on himself, making several copies of himself.
Rogue: I don't... believe it.

[Enlong]

OK, so we were doing a one-shot, yeah? I was playing a level one paladin, and our caravan stopped off near a rickety-looking old house. We saw, of all things, a chicken walk into the house. So I, being the paladin, followed the chicken inside to see what mysteries awaited. We found the chicken in the basement. When we approched, the thing skwaked loudly and scurried upstairs. It woke up a monster (something tentacled, can't remember) that we ended up fighting. Thanks to abysmal attack rolls from me, it took us something like a half hour to fight the monster.
Then, once we were finally done, I marched up those rickety old stairs, ready to give that chicken a taste of righteous anger. I found it in the corner of the room, charged it... and fell through the rotting floorboards to the room below. I picked myself up, walked upstairs, and went at the chicken again, this time leaping at it... and then fell through the floor again. This time I dropped into negative HP from the fall. I almost died trying to get at that chicken.
After the team patched me up, we went back to the caravan and went to the next town. In said town there was all manner of creatures, including a lot of houscats, and... more... chickens...
Once my paladin saw that, I had him freak out, running away at top speed and screaming "CHICKEEEEEN! CHICKEEEEEN! CHICKEEEEN!" The table cracked up.

[Alteran]

At one point while the party was trying to figure out how to get past a trap (a statue of a dragon with a fire trap built in), our Warden decided to grab the dragon and move it. The DM put his head in his hands and quietly said "Oh god, you're all going to die". :smallbiggrin: However, in the end we managed to escape the trap.

Now this isn't a statement somebody made, but it's pretty funny regardless. Later that session, we were fighting an Elder White Dragon. It was a bit of a grind back and forth, and when it was close to death it decided to fly away. The exit opened up onto a cliff. Our Warden, who was in the form of a boar, jumped after it, made his jump check and landed on the dragon. He pinned one wing. Our Ranger also jumped, pinning the other wing. The dragon and the two PCs then began to fall 1000 feet. Just before landing the Warden used a power that turned him into mist, taking only 39 damage. The dragon and ranger were not so lucky, taking 554 damage. We collected what we could find of the ranger and went to the nearby town to get him raised from the dead.

[Calinero]

I think one of my favorite moments would be "IT'S HIS EAR?!?!? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

To clarify:

In a Cthulhu game I've been running, the investigators have been searching for a homeless man who may have witnessed their friend's murder. However, this homeless man was kidnapped by a serial killer. Gotta love Cthulhu. This serial killer was a rich man whose wife was killed in a mugging by a homeless man a few years ago, and he kind of lost it. Went crazy, and started killing off the lower class. He has a pack of dogs that he uses to go hunting people down. He kidnapped the homeless man and brought him back to his house to torture and kill him.

One of the major places the investigators went to was a soup kitchen for the homeless where the man had been seen. They went there several times, and on occasion got soup. Near the end of the session, they each got a bowl of soup, and I told one of the characters that there was a human ear in his soup. At first, he thought I was joking.

I was not.

Obviously, he threw it away very quickly. We soon later ended the session, and did not reconvene for over a month. Memories got a bit...rusty.

At the next session, they broke into the killer's house, and ended up rescuing the homeless man. In addition to a few other minor injuries, and a crapload of mental scarring, the man had a clumsy bandage wrapped around his left ear. I mentioned this specifically. However, apparently details were not fresh in their mind anymore. They took him home, and began to care for him medically. Then, they started talking about the details of the mystery so far.

They recapped up until the soup incident, and one of them said "Then we found the finger--"
Me: "Ear."
Player: "......ear? I thought it was a finger."
Me: "No, it was an ear."
Player: "An ear....but that means.....*looks at homeless man* Oh my god! IT'S HIS EAR! AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!"
*group yells in dismay*

[FlyMyMonkeysFly]

We've had a couple.

While trying to find a way to get into Hell, the PCs are consulting a book that will supposedly lead them into Hell and some of the PCs started to question following the book's instructions. Our Cleric's response:
"Why would Hell lie?"

Of course, this same cleric's battle cry is:
"Mace to the Face!"
or, occasionally
"Hit that *tiny cat*!" (when facing some sort of feline monster)

Same cleric, while fighting a goblin:
"So, an unarmed attack does nonlethal damage ... what if I cack him?"

On a stealth mission:
Cleric (same one) "I rolled a 3"
Me (DM) "Is that with your armor modifier?"
Cleric "... no."
Me "You trip and fall down a few steps."
Warmage "HAHAHA! YOU FELL DOWN!"
Me "Was that in character?!?"
Warmage "Yeah, I rolled a 1."

In a dungeon:
Spellthief "Is the Morlock still alive?"
Me "Yes, but he's unconcious."
Spellthief "I throw him through the door."
Me "What?"
Spellthief "I'm checking for traps, and to see if there's any enemies on the other side."
Later in the same dungeon:
Cleric "OK, I wanna run at the door, throw the Morlock through the door, jump up, land on the Morlock and surf it's body into the next room."
Me "... okay, I'll let you do it because it's awesome. As you burst into the room, you startle some Dwarves, the Morlock cries out 'Why am I still alive?!?'"

[Ravens_cry]

I admit, I am a bit of a clown. If I see an opportunity to make someone laugh,I will take it. I was playing a first level eleven druid. I decided to play him real naive. His back story was that until he had met up with the party, he had never seen a human or other race before besides elves. Well, we got to town and we were in this tavern. I decide to have my character hit on the bartender. This got quite a few laughs, and one of the other characters asked mine if he relized the bartender was a man. In character I acted all shocked and did a big double take, with a hammy "Whaaa?!" Then came the excuse I gave that really brought the house down.
"But, but. . .he had BREASTS!"

Laughter Ensued.

[AngelOmnipotent]

Well while GMing this one game I've never known a Barbarian roll so many 1's on his skill checks in my life.

He's attempting to distract a camp so his not-so-tied-up-anymore party members can run for it. Rolls a 1 on his Bluff check.

"Don't follow me, I'm a distraction!" He yelled as he ran through the camp.

He also attempted to intimidate someone. Rolled a 1.

With a rather menacing look on his face: "Your mother is a classy lady!"

However the best lines have to be from a Serenity-based RPG that we were testing out. The plot outline was to rescue this slave from a slave ship (or something similar) however one of the players had chosen to play a Chinese Slaver character....
They rescue the slave, however rather than freeing the rest of the slaves the Chinese Slaver and another player he had swayed to his idea wanted to return the slave they had been paid to rescue, take the ship, sell the rest of the slaves on the ship, and keep the ship for themselves. Well of course the rest of the party didn't agree with this.

Player 1: "You can't do that!"
Slaver: "And why not?"
Player 2: "They're human beings! They deserve to be free."
Player 3: "Yeah."
Player 4: "Yes, they do!"
Player 1: "Damn right they do, and you're outnumbered. So unless you're going to shoot us all to do what you want, we're turning this ship around and making sure all of these people go free."
Slaver: "Fine."
Player 1: "Glad you agree."
Slaver: "Just one thing though, I need to go get the medpacks."
Player 1, 2, 3 & 4: "Why? What for?"
Slaver: "FOR YOUR BLEEDING HEARTS"

[TrashCat]

In one of our recent 4e sessions, the party is trapped in the feywild, fighting these trees that shoot 15-foot vines and immobilize you. These trees are also host to swarms of flesh-eating ants... sort of a cute symbiotic relationship. Anyway, so the melee-types and strikers are hacking at the trees, trying to free one of the PCs (that session was his character introduction), while the casters are dropping burst attacks on the swarms. The following comments are uttered:

Wizard (in character): I can't believe I'm fighting ants.
Fighter (in character): I can't believe I'm being attacked by a tree.
Warlord (out of character): I can't believe it's not butter!

[Colmarr]

The PCs are arguing over whether they can legally execute brigands they have defeated. The wizard Soveliss is adamant they can. The fighter Dek is not so sure. Things get a little heated, and Soveliss resolves to do it himself:

"Can anyone lend me a dagger?"

[Archpaladin Zousha]

Okay, this was weird. Our characters were stuck having dinner with a succubus and her sons/lovers in her tower which, as our party's bard commented, looked like a giant splooge cannon. Since I figure things are gonna get violent anyway, I take the opportunity to pound my fist on the table and make a pithy speech of righteous indignation. When the succubus questions my loyalties, I yell out "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" in as much of an Ahnold Scvartzenegger accent as I could.

That wasn't what was funny. What was funny was the druid player's comment:

"Did you suddenly turn into a black woman?"

I turned seven hundred shades of red as everyone else burst out laughing.

[Valentyne]

1)While with a party hunting a dragon, we can across its lair. I was playing a shaman. Hanging back I was standing near the front of the cave. The dragon sucked in a big breath....the warlock with us yells, "Run! Get out! Get out now!"

My shaman responds with "But I AM out...I came out two years ago!"

Everyone looks at me...in a stunned silence that even the dragon wont break.

"Oops...did I just stay that?".

[Zaq]

This is all a mix of in-character and out-of-character. As in, things that we said as if we were saying things in character, only we don't usually actually mean them. Much.

So, last week, we had the first session of our new campaign. Now, I don't know who started it, but somehow all three of the players, myself included, started referring to everything in Pokemon terms. For example, the sorcerer referred to his familiar as his "starter." The low-level plot hook of bodyguarding an old noblewoman prompted the response "Bodyguard work?! That's not gonna get us any closer to the Indigo Plateau!" This went on for a while, with the GM getting more and more worked up about it. (His buttons are so easy to push if you can find them... he really lets himself get flustered in a hilarious manner.) You know, the standard growling "They will never find your bodies... nor those of your characters." and all that. Eventually we eased off... for a while. However, every so often, one of us would see an opportunity and pounce on it, just when the GM had forgotten about it. A few examples:

GM: "The old woman has two dogs; a large mastiff and a tiny yip dog."
Sorcerer: "So like, a Houndour and maybe, what, a Slakoth?"
Warlock: "Closer to a Poochina, really."
GM: "...Above you, you notice a crumbling cavern ceiling, ready to collapse at any second."
Me: "Aren't we inside the old lady's house?"
GM: "Yes."


(Upon approaching a stable...)
GM: "The stables are ill-kept and nearly empty, aside from a single old horse."
Warlock: "Is the horse friendly?"
GM: "Yes, he likes people."
Me: "I feed it a potion of fire resistance and set its mane on fire. It evolves into Ponyta!"
Warlock, interrupting the sputtering GM: "I drive a spike into its forehead! It evolves into Rapidash!"


GM: "So, you've got a couple hours to kill before you're supposed to report back. What do you do?"
Me: "You said the garden was all overgrown, right?"
GM: "Yes, you want to go explore it?"
Me: "I go outside and walk around in the tall grass."
GM: *facepalm* "...You find a wild Tarrasque."
Me: "Great! I pull out my Master Ball and catch it, no save!"


...And so on. Like I said, this wasn't constant. It's just that every time the GM would let his guard down, one of us would slip in a Pokemon comment, and he'd get all excitable again. Eventually he gave the line I'd been waiting for all evening, something to the effect of "What is WRONG with you people?! Why do you insist on doing this to me?!", to which I replied (absolutely deadpan) "Dude, if you didn't want us making constant Pokemon references, you shouldn't have made such a clearly Pokemon-based world." I looked over at the other two players, who nodded solemnly.

Man, the look on his face... He's so easy to mess with.

[Os1ris09]

Okay in the Lvl 30 Campaign I am playing in our PC's had a very funny event happen. the party consists of a ranger (me), a bard/rogue/cleric (niave to), and a warlock.

Me: So triston why are you trying to hook up with a mermaid
Bard: Have you ever done a mermaid?
Me: No, mainly because there are no HOLES to (censored)!
Warlock: I can make a hole (finger starts to glow).
Me: No no we're not going to make a hole so triston can (censor) her.
Cleric: I can just have you guys have sex with me.
Us: .........
Cleric: What I have a hole.
Me: Yes and one that was onced filled with a persons **** who originally killed us!!!!!!
This is when the real jokes start

Bard: I guess she is so HOLLY she can't see the jokes we're saying
Warlock: Maybe I should FILL her so she can see them and feel Satisfied.
Me: Okay guys enough with the jokes we don't want to have to try and fill in the HOLES. (lol good times).

[Thajocoth]

On an insight check, a character rolled horrible...

Player B: Heh, you'd believe the sky is purple
Player A: lol, guess I would
Me (DM): Actually, the sky IS purple here.
Player A: What?
Me: And the sun goes from West to East. Forgot to mention those things before.
Player A: Now you're just trying to confuse me.
Me: No, really... It does.

The sky was purple because the entire region was encased in a dome shaped magic portal. Also, as an effect of the fact that the portal links to it's opposite side, the sun's position looks reversed of where it really is... So in The Dome, the sun DOES appear to go from West to East. It was only my 2nd session ever DMing, I think, so it's no wonder I forgot a few little details. Took a while to explain.

[Divine Comedy]

Me and an idiot I had in a campaign:

Idiot: I roll diplomacy to tell him that :character: must be destroyed!
Alright! 30! Ok now that he's convinced, we'll go do it!

Me: Excellent, you've successfully convinced him that you think :character: must be destroyed.

[Alcopop]

"Ok I grab his pants and fly out the window"

[ghost_warlock]

Even without knowing the details of the gaming session it came from, I'm sure a few people will find the phrase "Brokeback Dungeon" humorous.

[The_Werebear]

The character for both of these quotes is a CG Cleric of a CN leaning Evil god of Blood Sacrifice, Berserkers, and Wrath.

"Of course this is ok. I serve a righteous god. Now help me pry this sarcophagus lid off"

(To the Gnome, who is doing the traditional gnome tomfoolery) "If you continue to bother me, I'll be forced by the mandate of my god to make a cup out of your skull. He's big on that."

[TheCountAlucard]

"Oh, chaos, it killed our pilot! See for yourselves!"

See, in our Star Wars game, we were in a Corellian gunship and were on the verge of being boarded by an Imperial Star Destroyer. The space station we had just departed from had been full of fast-moving, undetectable creatures that made people very paranoid, very fast. Well, we didn't want to try our luck against a Star Destroyer, so Tykoga (my character) begins talking to them about how one of said creatures seemed to have boarded our ship, causing our controls to work erratically, giving us an excuse to move slowly while we plotted a jump to hyperspace.

Of course, we were only transmitting voice, not audio. With each second we got closer to being able to jump out of there, Tykoga's descriptions grew a little more wild, and the other party members assisted him with screams and clanking sounds.

With only a second left before our jump to hyperspace, Tykoga yells, "Oh, chaos, it killed our pilot! See for yourselves!" as he switches on visual, allowing the crew of the Imperial Star Destroyer to see our Duros pilot mooning them before we jumped the hell out of there.

[NeoVid]

No context needed for this one:

"HEY! YOU GUYS DONE SNEAKING UP ON THEM YET?"

[Avilan the Grey]

D&D setting, long time ago:
"FOLLOW THAT DUCK!"

---

As the Morlock / Door thing above tells you being creative in dungeons is a good thing.

We didn't use a monster per se, we used the son of the big bag to punch through the door to his fathers sanctum. Neither of them liked it...

Of course the fighter had to say "OK come here! It's time for your big breakthrough!"

---

For a while, after a certain movie had been in theaters for a while, the phrase "I see... dead people" was uttered way too many times when hunting undead in D&D. Or when talking to other party members in Vampire. Or...

[Manga Shoggoth]

"Is Cthulhu large?"

(Alas, I wasn't present for the session that spawned quote. It was about 25 years ago (AD&D + CoC mix at University), and they still haven't let the player forget it...)

[OneFamiliarFace]

For a while, after a certain movie had been in theaters for a while, the phrase "I see... dead people" was uttered way too many times when hunting undead in D&D. Or when talking to other party members in Vampire. Or...

Yeah, Scary Movie 2 was a great flick.

[Zergrusheddie]

I'm seeing a trend that the most funny stuff is said when playing Starwars games. There have been moonings, disease causing Destiny Points, and an excited Wookie. I do not think I'll ever be able to watch the movies again without thinking of these. You evil people have corrupted me; keep them coming! :smallbiggrin:

[Aoric]

Player: "I'm going to cast Color Spray"
Player, in-character as eccentric, slightly off-kilter wizard: "Taste the rainbow, you bastards!"

[Graymayre]

Me (OOC): I ran out of tricks to teach my Fleshraker Dinosaur, so I'm just going to write down "Kick Ass"

DM: *chuckle* Ok, I'll treat that as your animal companion just goes buck wild on the closest living thing.

1 hour later
*Team is discussing the use of caltrops in combat (assumed in character). One person mentions some uber caltrops he found in an obscure splat-book.*

Me (Druid): Those sound like some kick ass caltr-

Barbarian (PC): NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

*Fleshraker Dinosaur attacks*

[SlaadLord]

After a lengthy dungeon crawl, the PCs get to the big boss's room, who happens to be a Yuan-ti Abomination. The wizard summons a celestial bison which proceeds to (almost) single-handedly decimate said Yuan-ti abomination.

Fighter: How the hell did that happen?
Me: I dunno. Ask the Bison.

So now, at the weirdest times, whenever someone asks a questions with a member of that dungeon crawl group present, "Ask the Bison" is occasionally the first answer to the question.

[Thorin]

We where facing a Devil-Dragon once in an ancient tower, and the party cleric had issues to understand how could the dragon hit him with all the attacks, as clearly, the tail was so far from the head (tail attack + bite).

After some minutes of dragon-anatomy theory, i yell: Don´t you get it? is like a freaking car!!" I swear, someplace in my mind that made sense at the time

We actually got some extra XP for the joke