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Lappy9000
2009-03-29, 01:00 AM
Diplomacy has failed against the sly, snaked-tongued advisor of the corrupted king. The bard is too drunk to talk his way out of this tavern fight. That paladin has waaay too high of a Sense Motive for a good Bluff check.

What do you, the scary guy in the party, do in such situations? Why, Intimidate, of course! However, instead of just saying, "I roll an Intimidate check," why not put some zazz into it?

Example: Give us the plans or I'll...
"...rip your still-living flesh off."
"...feed you your own entrails."
"...make you wish you'd never been converted to the new edition."

What are some scary things to say during an Intimidate check? Keep to the forum rules, naturally, but it by no means has to be tame :smallamused:

Revanmal
2009-03-29, 01:18 AM
Give me the plans or...

"...I will rip out your eyeballs a skull-f*** you."

"...you will be anally raped with this cactus." (cactus being on fire is optional)

"...you will be beaten to within an inch of your life, and then, as you lay in the hospital, only barely able to drink your meals through a straw, your family, your friends, your home, your f***ing DOG, will be destroyed. One by one, they will burn and suffer, while you live on in undignified anguish, lying unloved in your bed, encrusted in your own FILTH. And once that is done, once everything you have ever held dear is gone in a blaze of glory, I will find you again, and I will end your life, inflicting upon you such horrible pain mere words cannot describe it. Slowly, ever so slowly, your vision will fade as the blood loss finally overtakes you, and the sweet release of death will reach out to embrace you as you begin the long decent into the fiery Abyss. And as you fall into that hellish nightmare after-life, your soul shall forevermore be haunted by the sound of my hideous laughter, echoing forever in your final moments."

Graymayre
2009-03-29, 01:19 AM
"Tell me what I want to know, and I'll give back the fingers I'm about to pull off."

FMArthur
2009-03-29, 01:25 AM
*Sets a dildo wrapped in barbed wire on the table and silently stares*

Alteran
2009-03-29, 01:33 AM
"Tell me what I want to know or I'll shove a fireball down your throat!"

Alternately, this (http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/4/10/i-hope-you-like-text/).

Starscream
2009-03-29, 01:40 AM
I've been watching a lot of Blackadder recently. Here are some gems from that delightful show.

"Believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil"

"Why does it have to end like this? With me slicing you into thin strips and telling your loved ones that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid wearing a very heavy hat?"

"They do say that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head."

"Sometimes I think about having you executed just to see the expression on your face..."

"The booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers"

"Is there any particular area you'd like us to go for? We can aim anywhere..."

Talic
2009-03-29, 01:43 AM
1) We have two options here. Either I kill everyone in this room while looking for the plans...

or you give me the plans, and I kill everyone in the room except you.


2) I want the plans. I don't know how fast your guards are, but I doubt they're fast enough to stop a crossbow bolt.

3) I want the plans. If you don't give them to me now, you will die swiftly, far too swiftly for the guards outside to stop. Tell me sir... Are you a Martyr, or a Survivor?

Seffbasilisk
2009-03-29, 01:48 AM
Don't say anything. Just smile. :smallbiggrin:

Oracle_Hunter
2009-03-29, 01:48 AM
Rorschach (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Watchmen#Rorschach.2FWalter_Kovacs) is great for "Bad Cop" quotes.

A good all-purpose one:

Don't worry. Won't insult legendary underworld solidarity by suggesting you surrender name without torture.

A nice zing to add at the end of any request for information from shady folks / cultists :smallbiggrin:

Of course, I'm of the opinion that it matters less what you say than how you say it. I had a Rogue who had the habit of Quick-Drawing a hidden knife while settling down to interrogate a fellow - just to trim his nails, you understand :smallamused:

Lappy9000
2009-03-29, 01:51 AM
Looks like my bunny slippers are running for cover.

Get mean! Get angry! Do I look like I'm trembling in my boots? Do I look like I'm wetting myself in fear? Until I'm too terrified to go outside, lest I dare to blow upon the white-hot embers of your eternally burning wraths, it's not scary enough!

Berserk Monk
2009-03-29, 02:01 AM
To quote Watchmen (or at least paraphrase):

"A living body and a dead body both contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no difference." I then whip out a random severed body part from one of my victims* and hurl it at the guy (or at least drop it at their footsteps).

*If you're the scary guy in the group you should have AT LEAST one remnant from a dead person/creature per HD you have.

HeavySleeper
2009-03-29, 02:05 AM
It's not what you say, exactly, it's what you're doing when you say it. Start by cutting off one of his hands, and then smack him in the face with it. You have a couple options at this point.

"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The easy way means you get out of this with no more limbs missing. You don't want to find out about the hard way."

"If you cooperate, we'll let you decide what we do with your hand. If you don't, I can't make any promises..."

Both work without cutting the hand off, but I think it adds something. But my personal favorite is:

"I'm going to count to ten. At ten, if I don't have what I want, you lose another limb. We'll continue like that until you're out of limbs."

If your not down for the actual cutting, then just imply it heavily.

Lappy9000
2009-03-29, 02:14 AM
*If you're the scary guy in the group you should have AT LEAST one remnant from a dead person/creature per HD you have.Said character is made of dead people. And he can control his severed limbs. And attach new limbs to replace the old ones.

Imagine the terror when he starts using his enemy's arm as his own :smallamused:

Oracle_Hunter
2009-03-29, 02:20 AM
It's not what you say, exactly, it's what you're doing when you say it. Start by cutting off one of his hands, and then smack him in the face with it. You have a couple options at this point.

How wasteful! You can only cut a man's hand off twice; break a finger and you can always come back to break it again :smallbiggrin:

HeavySleeper
2009-03-29, 02:26 AM
How wasteful! You can only cut a man's hand off twice; break a finger and you can always come back to break it again :smallbiggrin:

But nothing says "intimidation" by hitting someone with a piece of his own body! If the body parts look like they're about to run out, then all you need to do is start going up the arm or leg bit by bit.:smallsmile:

Froogleyboy
2009-03-29, 02:29 AM
When i intimidate with my LG Halfling paladin i usually politely say things such as:
"Listen up you sorry son of a :smallsmile: give me the plans or I'll rip your :smallsmile: ing head off and shove my :smallsmile: ing orc double axe down your throat and sell your body to Drow prostitutes" and then I smile

Ganurath
2009-03-29, 02:32 AM
Start off by looping a fishhook with some silk rope, tying an arrow to the opposite end, and using your finger to poke around the inside of their cheek. After securing the hook, state the following:

"I like to learn. Today I could learn what information you have that I would find desirable. I could also learn about physics and the biology of your species. Much like how that fishhook is being removed from your cheek, the choice is yours."

As an alternative, channel the Captain of a certain 12th Squad from Bleach.

Oracle_Hunter
2009-03-29, 02:35 AM
But nothing says "intimidation" by hitting someone with a piece of his own body! If the body parts look like they're about to run out, then all you need to do is start going up the arm or leg bit by bit.:smallsmile:

Yeah, but then you have to worry about blood loss, passing out from shock, and any number of other things. By that point, the fun starts to sound tedious, and we wouldn't want that. (http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20060227.html)

Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method (http://www.flipsidecomics.com/comic.php?i=649) :smallamused:

FoE
2009-03-29, 02:36 AM
"You. You will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. You're going to wish you never left your mother's womb, where it was warm ... and safe ... and wet! I'm going to show you pain you never knew existed! You're going to see a whole new spectrum of pain .... LIKE A RAINBOW!"

Ganurath
2009-03-29, 02:38 AM
Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method (http://www.flipsidecomics.com/comic.php?i=649) :smallamused:Can Clerics of Erythnul cast Purify Food and Drink on flesh and blood?

HeavySleeper
2009-03-29, 02:39 AM
Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method (http://www.flipsidecomics.com/comic.php?i=649) :smallamused:

That's suitably creepy...

Kris Strife
2009-03-29, 03:34 AM
Imitate the DM's voice: "Are you sure you want to do that?"

Dhavaer
2009-03-29, 03:50 AM
Now, if you're going to do big limb removal, I'd suggest The Bloody Mary Method (http://www.flipsidecomics.com/comic.php?i=649) :smallamused:

I was just reading that comic. Weird. It's a small internet after all.

Oracle_Hunter
2009-03-29, 03:54 AM
I was just reading that comic. Weird. It's a small internet after all.

I imagine Flipside is a fairly popular comic. To be honest, it was one of my "dirty pleasure comics" for awhile, but it's actually gotten pretty good with the "Bloody Mary" Arc.

Dude also knows how to draw some disturbing stuff.

Dhavaer
2009-03-29, 03:57 AM
I imagine Flipside is a fairly popular comic.

Really? I'd never heard of it before.

Oracle_Hunter
2009-03-29, 04:03 AM
Really? I'd never heard of it before.

Number 9 on TopWebComics (http://topwebcomics.com/default.aspx) which, although I never use, is the one voting site all of the comics that ask for voteys seem to use. Who can really tell?

Bayar
2009-03-29, 04:05 AM
OOC:

Fighter: I cut my arm lenghtwise with a dagger to show the others I mean business.

DM: Ok, you take 20 HP damage. And make a save VS tethanos from the rusty dagger.

Fighter: *shrug*

IC: Ok, I cut my own arm. See the blood ? Yes, it is real. Now if you dont want to bleed out like I am right now, tell me where I find the damn sword !

Theodoriph
2009-03-29, 04:14 AM
Alot of these are terrible ways to intimidate someone. You rarely ever want to threaten someone directly...that just gives them cause for action...whether it be calling the guards, hiring assassins, leaving town etc.

I suppose they could be useful if all you're looking for is information, but if you want someone to do something for you without having to be there to make sure they do it, you really need to tone it down a bit. :smalltongue:

Threaten to drive them out of business, threaten to have your bard compose a ballad detailing their sordid extra-marital affairs (no actual affairs required). Threaten to turn their child's favourite pet into a zombie. Do things that are going to get them to do what you want...without putting them in a corner. :smallbiggrin: Blackmail and such are much better forms of intimidation in many instances.

E.g.

If you threaten to kill me if I don't go grocery shopping tomorrow, when you leave, I'm calling the police

If you threaten to tell my wife I'm going behind her back with her best friend if I don't go grocery shopping tomorrow....I'm not going to tell anyone...and I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow.


Granted...you may still get assassins if they're rich enough :smallwink:


Violence is such an overused form of intimidation. And if all you're using intimidation for is to extract information...you might want to look at the BoVD and rules for extrating info via torture. Good times...good times.

Xuincherguixe
2009-03-29, 05:43 AM
Taking one from Kill Bill...

"I'm going to ask you some questions. Every time you lie to me, I'll remove parts of you. And believe me, they will be things you will miss." (I don't remember the exact words. Sorry.)

"Give me the information. You don't want to find out what happens otherwise."

"Do you know how much blood is in the human body? Oh sure I do, but if you don't? Well let's just say you're about to find out."

"You know, it just struck me. All of you people have really nice skin. I'd really like to have it."

On a similar theme...

"I like your skin. Makes me want to get inside you."

"You people have a lot of guts. It's clear I'm not going hungry for awhile."

Why no! I haven't thought about this sort of thing at all!

Kris Strife
2009-03-29, 05:52 AM
Tell us what we want to know, or we'll make you watch BoBoBo-BoBoBoBo, Evangelion, Puni-Puni Poemi, The Smurfs and The Disney channel, all at the same time.

Even if they dont give you the information theyll go insane.

Thanatos 51-50
2009-03-29, 06:03 AM
"I've spent my lifetime learning how to apply clean, precision damage to kill a man quickly, and without pain.
As a side-effect of this triaining, I've learned so-called 'wasteful' strokes. Worlds of white-hot, mind-destroying pain for little to no effect on your physical health.
Your will is mere putty in my hands. I can kill your mind with my blade without ever breaking flesh. I will strap your brain to the rack and turn the wheel until you tell me what I want. It will not be pretty, and, in the end, you'll be locked away in some dark sanitarium, without even your bootlaces. You will beg, scream, and seek your own death, and I will tie you to this mortal coil myself, so that you may live in the knowledge that you lost. You failed.
And there can be no repenting for that sin."

ShadowFighter15
2009-03-29, 06:06 AM
A rogue (with plenty of ranks in bluff and perform) interrogating a halfling man (simple an example).

Rogue: Tell me; did you see this man among my companions as I brought you in here? *uses Silent Image to show the bard's large, half-orc cleric travelling companion*
Halfling: *nods*
Rogue: Well, you see; his... carnal interests, you might say, run rather perpendicular to the average man.
Halfling: *somewhat confused by the way the conversation's going* You mean he... with men?
Rogue: *nods* He particularly likes young halfling men. Rather like you, now that I think about it. And he has a rather large... *smacks lips* appetite, and it's been a while since he had any. Now we were going to go and hire him a male prostitute, but I think he might prefer you. You are a more easily-available participant - certainly cheaper - so unless you have a terribly compelling reason for me not to give the two of you some alone time, I'll send him in. The room's sound-proofed; the noises he makes tend to distress some of my companions *mumbles under his breath: not that I can blame them*. Of course; he's rather strong - he is half orc after all - so you may not come out of it entirely unscathed. Terribly sorry. So now... *leans forward with his elbows on the table* feeling talkative?


EDIT: No offence to any gay men reading this; just drawing on an old source of humour. Though if anyone does the above, bonus points if you can get the cleric to wink suggestively at the interrogatee as they're being released. It'll really freak them out.

Athaniar
2009-03-29, 07:30 AM
Create (or conjure, or illusionize) a perfect replica of the severed, mangled head of whoever it is you're trying to intimidate, show it to that person, and deliver some creepy line, preferably with a pun. That oughta scare them.

Khatoblepas
2009-03-29, 08:00 AM
Man, if this were 3e I'd say:


I place a handful of gemstones, enchanted to have swirling images inside them, onto the table in front of me.
"Do you know what these are, little worm?" I say, rolling the words around with sadistic savouring. "I know that hurting you won't get me what I want. I know you, mister. I know everything about you, from your mannerisms, your dirty little secrets... and your treasured friends."

I pick up a gemstone, and examine it. "Do you know what these are? These are soul gems. They contain the last remenents of the people you love. What's that? How do I know? Well, I have my ways. It's not information I seek, it's a confession. I know your crimes, and I will never let you know what they are until you tell me yourself."

"Do you know what souls are useful for? Did you know they're an excellent source of energy for spellcasting? This is what's going to happen, mister. You tell me exactly what I need to know, or I will use these as spell components to cast a worthless cantrip. Everyone you ever loved will be gone. Forever. Do you want to risk it? Am I lying? Am I telling the truth? Could this be your lover, your daughter, your son?

Is what you know worth more to you than everyone you love?"

Assassin89
2009-03-29, 08:08 AM
How about this line?

If you do not give me the information, I will tear your body limb from limb, and that happens when I am in a good mood. If you want to see what happens when I am in a bad mood, do not answer me.

mostlyharmful
2009-03-29, 08:43 AM
You can tell me now or your spirit can be forced to tell me from the afterlife, the only thing your life is worth is the extra cleric spell..... *picks up ludicrously huge axe*...... so if you have anything to say nows the time.

Shadowbane
2009-03-29, 10:19 AM
"I'll eat the flesh of your bones, burn the remainder of your body, curse your soul to the darkest places in hell, kill all your children and use their bones to pick your flesh from my teeth."

And then have the wizard use Permanent Image.

Dogmantra
2009-03-29, 10:20 AM
I have a cleric buddy. He can cast regenerate. Say goodbye to your extremeties... several times.

Shadowbane
2009-03-29, 10:26 AM
That was a good one!

Copacetic
2009-03-29, 10:48 AM
Tell me what I need to know and you may have children after this experience.

Ganurath
2009-03-29, 10:49 AM
Ah, how could I forget the Grimdark Parody (http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20070202.html) method of interrogation?

Leader: Now, [Ax Crazy Guy] is going to cut your [body part] off, and then we're going to start asking you some questions.
Victim: Wait... I think you have that reversed.
3rd Party Member: No, I don't think we do.

If they want to talk before the cutting starts, be accomodating:

"The next time I have to ask you this question, I'll be asking a eunuch. [Question]?"

Flickerdart
2009-03-29, 10:50 AM
All of you are making a mistake. You don't tell them that they can trade something in exchange for their freedom or whatever. You just start preparing, and wait until they plead. You can roll Intimidate while saying nothing at all. More likely to talk sincerely that way.

lsfreak
2009-03-29, 01:59 PM
Yea, people are being too open about violence. That doesn't go over well when you're talking in the middle of a bar. Merely suggesting something, without describing it in detail, lets the mind wander without actually being violent.

You sit down next to a small, plain man. Preferably something about you is already a little unsettling - he thinks he sees droplets of blood on your armor, or you've been playing with a dagger nonchalantly, or he can see the edges of s ritual scar on your face. After sitting in silence for 5 minutes, you turn to him, stare him straight into the eyes, unblinking, while peeling an orange, and say, "Did you know one tiny cut under your ear, and the whole thing just... peels right off?"

Even if you are going for overt violence, people are going more for humorous or too violent - someone won't talk if they think you're going to kill them anyways. You can't suggest anything. Instead, you cut off their finger when they don't tell you anything, dip it in an oil of a cantrip that animates small animals. You ignore the finger while it crawls around the table aimlessly and continue to ask questions, as if it's not there. You've said nothing, and done little lasting damage, but he gets the point perfectly.

Zaq
2009-03-29, 05:22 PM
I played an Intimidate- and fear-heavy character once. She didn't call it "intimidation," though... she said that she simply reminded people that they were going to die. We all know it, of course, but we don't realize it. With a few words and a gesture or two, though, she could put that undeniable fact front and center in someone's brain. How? Well...I'm going to let Tom Stoppard, in the mouth of Guildenstern, speak for me.

"No no no... you've got it all wrong... you can't act death. The fact of it is nothing to do with seeing it happen -it's not gasps and blood and falling about- that isn't what makes it death. It's just a man failing to reappear, that's all -- now you see him, now you don't, that's the only thing that's real: here one minute and gone the next and never coming back -- an exit, unobtrusive and unannounced, a disappearance gathering weight as it goes on, until, finally, it is heavy with death." (Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, p.84)

Of course, she wouldn't say all that in so many words, but that was the philosophy. Use your imagination.

chiasaur11
2009-03-29, 05:47 PM
Open with small talk while casually holding a severed limb, passing it from hand to hand.

When he asks about it, shrug and say it came from someone who (insert minor offense here).

Offhand remark about the sheer horror of previous event.

If he does anything other than spill his guts, imply what's gonna happen to him is much, much worse.

Then, if he still refuses to talk, make him eat his own arm.

Graymayre
2009-03-29, 05:57 PM
I'll set a scene of horror for you.

A thug is tied onto a chair in a window-less, dimly lit room. A man opens the only door to this room and steps in. He is enormously fat, rolls of his skin splay out in every direction like a poorly folded blanket. Acne covers his unshaven skin. From the looks of the sweat stains on his clothes, you can tell that bathing isn't very high on this man's priority list.

He ambles like a slug over to the thug and bluntly states.

"I've had nothing but beans, onions, and garlic for the past week, I could probably let off a stink of death at any moment. Maybe tell me where your master is and I'll go give him this blast instead of you."

After obtaining the information; the fat man leaves the room and dismisses his illusion, unveiling that he was actually a slim-set bard.

chiasaur11
2009-03-29, 06:01 PM
"Are you familiar with the works of Xiang Yu?
Good, good.
Well, are you familiar with the works of Uwe Boll?

You will be soon enough."

kopout
2009-03-29, 06:06 PM
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever

horngeek
2009-03-29, 06:07 PM
"Guards! Get me a basket of... cherries will do nicely. And some mice."
*Smiles in an evil manner*
"They will talk."

chiasaur11
2009-03-29, 06:08 PM
Root Beer can work too.

BRC
2009-03-29, 06:24 PM
Simple, take out a notebook and make a show of examining it. Then say "The current record is twelve cuts. That was a rather tight-lipped ogre though"...
or
"Listen, If you don't talk, I will wrestle you to the ground, which means we will need to use the grapple rules..."

Kaliban
2009-03-29, 06:34 PM
So, you don't wanna talk ?
*unsheathes dagger*
Then, I'm going to count to ten.
With your fingers.



A necromancer favorite:
It's up to you. either you tell me what I want to know now. Or I kill you and ask you again.

ShadowFighter15
2009-03-29, 08:11 PM
"Are you familiar with the works of Xiang Yu?
Good, good.
Well, are you familiar with the works of Uwe Boll?

You will be soon enough."

Oh dear god; I don't think even Xykon wouldn't go that far!

Yukitsu
2009-03-29, 08:21 PM
I never say "Do XY or Z or I'll do V." I always simply state that they will tell me what I want to know. When they say "no" I look out the door and say "Tom, kill one member of his family for every 6 hours that pass." and when I look back at the interogatee, I simply turn away and disappear for 7 hours. When I return I say "You will tell me everything I want to know."

Hat-Trick
2009-03-29, 09:08 PM
Intimidation is setting specific. The words "Do you really want to lose all your business because of some orcs?" isn't exactly threatening, but to a thief who's just refused to get the Thieves Guild to help defend the city, it makes him think about his position. A quick "You better fear the dark," is also effective after being talked out of violence when your character just steps into shadow and disappears.

Ravens_cry
2009-03-29, 09:15 PM
HOlds out a sharp scalpel to prisoner held upright in chains
"You see this scalpel? With it I can cut off your skin, inch by inch, strip by strip, until the entrity of your bare flesh is exposed and bare and every movement, ever breath of air against your body becomes an agony, flayed like a cow in a slaughterhouse."

Hat-Trick
2009-03-29, 09:24 PM
If you're going to strip someone's skin off, ignore the scalpel. Get the sandpaper.

Enlong
2009-03-29, 09:27 PM
Depending on what level you are, it can't hurt to remind people of who they're dealing with.

"Sir, I really need this information, and I like discussions to go smoothly. I would prefer it if you would start cooperating, because if you don't I'm going to have to consider you an enemy of mine.
And I slay dragons for a living."

Shadowbane
2009-03-29, 09:53 PM
*snip*

Even if you are going for overt violence, people are going more for humorous or too violent - someone won't talk if they think you're going to kill them anyways. You can't suggest anything. Instead, you cut off their finger when they don't tell you anything, dip it in an oil of a cantrip that animates small animals. You ignore the finger while it crawls around the table aimlessly and continue to ask questions, as if it's not there. You've said nothing, and done little lasting damage, but he gets the point perfectly.

Ew. That's just grotesque, and incredibly badass.

Assassin89
2009-03-29, 09:56 PM
Listen, I know 200 ways to kill a man.
If you do not cooperate, I am going to have to find number 201.

I have killed many people before.
If you do not want to be another statistic you will comply with my orders.

*show head of owl*
I killed this owl without it hearing me.
If you do not cooperate, your death will be swift and silent, like the owl.

Os1ris09
2009-03-29, 10:05 PM
For me what I like to do is say nothing but give a DEATH LOOK one that says gives me what I want or YOU WILL DIE. LOL always makes the PC's do something they do not want to do. I love making some assassin's as NPC's about 3 LVL's higher than the PC's just to add some spice that "random encounters" do happen. LOL :smallbiggrin:

Xuincherguixe
2009-03-29, 10:23 PM
Start by just asking the question. When they refuse to answer, a monster of some sort (doesn't matter which) charges at the man screetching horribly. The wizard holds up a hand, and it impacts hard against a barrier. It's all an illusion of course.

Ask the question again, and if they fail to answer, make it look like the barrier is getting a bit weaker as the wizard seems to be applying a bit less effort.


If you could restrain them... ask the question. Don't make any threats, just keep jamming knives into them.


Really, the less you say, and the more that's implied the better.

TheFallenOne
2009-03-30, 07:41 AM
"I'll be honest with you: I don't enjoy torture. Why, you ask? It's boring. I do this, I do that, you scream, you bleed, you curse, and finally you give me what I want. Predictable! So, let's try something else.
Do you like games? I tell you, I LOVE games! This one's pretty simple: here, on this chart, I assigned a number to different body parts of yours. Eyes, hands, nose, you get the idea. On this other chart here I put what I do with them according to the number the dice come up with. I tell you, it's a real pitty I had to leave out burning because there are only so many numbers on a die and I didn't want to leave out the other more nasty things. So, ready for the first round? I have a feeling it will be your left eye, I'd even bet a gold piece on it. You game? I think we'll be having a great time."

"I'll leave you alone for a few hours to organize the following things: a belt of gender changing, a zombie ogre, sovereign glue, +1 armor spikes with the bleeding enchantment and a bullseye lantern. While I'm gone, I want you to contemplate the following two questions. One: 'What is the worst he could do to me with these things?' and two: 'Am I REALLY sure that he didn't come up with something even worse?'"

Just let your victims own imagination work against them

Heliomance
2009-03-30, 05:55 PM
Man, if this were 3e I'd say:


I place a handful of gemstones, enchanted to have swirling images inside them, onto the table in front of me.
"Do you know what these are, little worm?" I say, rolling the words around with sadistic savouring. "I know that hurting you won't get me what I want. I know you, mister. I know everything about you, from your mannerisms, your dirty little secrets... and your treasured friends."

I pick up a gemstone, and examine it. "Do you know what these are? These are soul gems. They contain the last remenents of the people you love. What's that? How do I know? Well, I have my ways. It's not information I seek, it's a confession. I know your crimes, and I will never let you know what they are until you tell me yourself."

"Do you know what souls are useful for? Did you know they're an excellent source of energy for spellcasting? This is what's going to happen, mister. You tell me exactly what I need to know, or I will use these as spell components to cast a worthless cantrip. Everyone you ever loved will be gone. Forever. Do you want to risk it? Am I lying? Am I telling the truth? Could this be your lover, your daughter, your son?

Is what you know worth more to you than everyone you love?"

That is awesomely chilling. I think it's the current winner.

I had a ghoul character for a while, who had a Hat of Disguise to pass as still alive. Unfortunately we never interrogated someone, I would have loved the chance.

The man was tied to a chair in themiddle of the room. The dwarven fighter had been trying tomake him talk for some time, with no success.

Suddenly, the elf who had been leaning idly against the wall spoke up. "You know what?" he asked, in a soft voice. The man looked at him, but no more seemed to be forthcoming. He blinked, as people do from time to time, but when he opened his eyes, the elf had vanished.
The soft voice came again, but this time it was from right beside his ear. How the elf had got there that fast he didn't know, but it shook him a little.
"You smell... delicious." The last word was whispered, savoured. The man whipped his head around to see that the elf was no longer an elf. Instead, a monster looked at him. His eyes were pits of pure blackness, his jaw elongated and full of sharp teeth. As the man stared, horrified, a long purple tongue snaked out of the creature's mouth and licked his cheek. The creature drew a shuddering breath, revelling in the taste of the man's sweat. It looked up at the dwarf. "May I have some, Ingvar? Just a taste?"

Thespianus
2009-03-31, 01:27 AM
How about painting oneself purple and start humming how much you love the guy... and how much he loves you?

No one with a mind can take more than two minutes of THAT!

Intimidation and a lawful good alignment takes some finesse. Most suggestions up here seems hard to combine with a LG or even good in general alignment. Torture can't really be considered very Good, can it?

Merely telling the Evil Mook that if he doesn't tell about the secret plans, you will release him back to the BBEG with a thank you note on how helpful he has been. The BBEG might take offence to that and do the torturing for you. ;)

Dienekes
2009-03-31, 01:46 AM
Do you know what it feels like to be flayed? Well, it starts off with just a little cut, barely noticeable. But after that I pull. You will be alive and conscious the pain will not be dulled. You will feel my fingers move beneath your flesh and you will hear your skin tear away.

You can hope for a man's death I'm sure, but you can forget it. It will not end pretty. You will die bleeding on my table, your blood mixing with your piss and s**t as you lose your ability to handle your basic bodily functions. And I promise you, I will get you to tell me everything you know. Maybe if you tell me fast enough your relatives will be able to identify your corpse.

Celeres
2009-03-31, 01:50 AM
I made a half-orc reaping mauler who's focus was finding a spellcaster to make his potion of greater magic fang+5 permanent. he also specialized in torture. i had some good ideas in mind.

H.O.:"Can you cast Permanency?"
W.:"Yes."
H.O.:"Then do it."
W."No way."
*rips off the wizards eyelid*
H.O.:Now you can see i'm not playing around. do it, or your life will be miserable.
W.:"Never."
*jams finger up nose, rips off nostril*
H.O.:"It only gets worse from there pal."

I had a list of about 100 things he could do to a bound wizard. my personal favorite was sticking an immovable rod under his chin and hitting the top of his head so hard it punctured the soft skin.

MickJay
2009-03-31, 05:27 AM
You might want to consider the fact that the guy would probably die from all this before you reached half of your repertoire - not to mention, he might be no longer capable of casting any spells long before he dies.

---

On a slightly different note, what would you say to someone who cannot feel pain and has no family?

Xuincherguixe
2009-03-31, 05:41 AM
"Would you like some waffles?"
"... What? Is that supposed to be some kind of threat? That's dumb."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. But not as sorry as you will be when you realize you could have had waffles for this next part."

Talic
2009-03-31, 05:44 AM
"No, I'm not going to threaten you. We're reasonable..."

*Shoots with light crossbow*

"...adults here. That bolt in your forearm? It's tipped with a particularly nasty cocktail of exotic, slow-acting, fatal poisons. As I said. No threats. What I propose, is a trade. I know where the only antidote that I've prepared for that toxin is. You know where ***** is. So... How about it? Deal... or No Deal?"

oxybe
2009-03-31, 05:45 AM
my 3rd ed warlock takes a very... matter of fact approach to getting information

Shump: aight.... guys, tie him up, leave the room and ignore the screams.
*party leaves*
Shump: see this? *starts firing up an eldrich blast* well i'm going to be needing information from you. either you give it now, or i'll slowing make your fingers explode, knuckle by knuckle. *blasts part of table off* So... you gonna tell me what i want to know?

*kablam!*
what about now?
*kablam!*
now?
*kablam!*
i can do this all day. worse too.
*kablam!*
help me help you...
*kablam!*
this is getting pretty tiresome, you know...
*Kablam!*
2 fingers, 6 knuckles down. 2 fingers, 6 knuckles to go.
*Kablam!*
a little too much off the top?
*kablam!*
...
no more fingers eh... sight. well *fires off eldrich glaive, that we've reflavored as a scythe* how do you like your meat? thick or thin...

Quincunx
2009-03-31, 08:54 AM
In a world with Zone of Truth, not only do you have to have power over whom you're questioning, you have to be smarter and think faster than they do. By "they", I mean your DM, the being who lives in terror of what you are going to do to derail the plot. All the character pain in the game world won't touch your DM, but the DM's mind is yours to intimidate. Now. . .ask, how you can be sure your DM is holding nothing back from you? Pass the answer through normal space. Pass the answer through Zone of Truth. As far as the object knows, the answer is true. But--but--every creature in this world has a link to the divine intelligence, the DM. Wouldn't that link to the ultimate source of knowledge flutter in the zone like a fly trapped in a double-glazed window? It ought to be detected. It is detected. Everything outside the DM's head is meta-gaming. The character trapped inside, with the knowledge, is not meta-gaming. If that one is not meta-gaming, then it owns the knowledge in-game, and we ought to be able to learn it.

chiasaur11
2009-03-31, 09:35 AM
In a world with Zone of Truth, not only do you have to have power over whom you're questioning, you have to be smarter and think faster than they do. By "they", I mean your DM, the being who lives in terror of what you are going to do to derail the plot. All the character pain in the game world won't touch your DM, but the DM's mind is yours to intimidate. Now. . .ask, how you can be sure your DM is holding nothing back from you? Pass the answer through normal space. Pass the answer through Zone of Truth. As far as the object knows, the answer is true. But--but--every creature in this world has a link to the divine intelligence, the DM. Wouldn't that link to the ultimate source of knowledge flutter in the zone like a fly trapped in a double-glazed window? It ought to be detected. It is detected. Everything outside the DM's head is meta-gaming. The character trapped inside, with the knowledge, is not meta-gaming. If that one is not meta-gaming, then it owns the knowledge in-game, and we ought to be able to learn it.

So, torture the DM?

Telonius
2009-03-31, 11:53 AM
"Now normally, this would be the part where I tell you I'm going to rip your face off, or some other threat. But today I'm going to try something different. We're adventurers. You know that, we know that. We're out battling creatures whose very presence would melt your brain in a heartbeat, while you're here doing whatever it is you do.

And if you don't do exactly what we ask, we are going to make it known that you are our friend.

All of us have made many enemies. Some of them are men, some are monsters, others are the very demons themselves. And every single one of them is looking for something. Some way to injure us, some small bit of leverage to make us do what they want. Some avenue for them to vent their rage at us, to torture and destroy in unimaginable ways, since they cannot harm us directly.

Now tell me. Do you really want them to know that you're our friend?"

Lappy9000
2009-03-31, 11:53 AM
Scary stuff, guys. Scary stuff.

However it is important to keep in mind a few things:

The character I plan to use these for is not evil. He would prefer not to get into a Saw-esque torture scene if at all possible (I imagine my group would agree).
I plan to use Intimidate as a social skill, not as a torture device (you know, scaring guards at their post, random people on the street, that cheeky shopkeeper, etc.)


But yes, thanks to everyone for your suggestions. Keep the fear pumping!

Atamasama
2009-03-31, 12:31 PM
I've twice used the "Baked Pear" routine when Intimidating someone.

My character is Chaotic Good, so would never torture someone but feels no compunction about making a bad person think he's about to be subjected to something really terrible.

He tells someone that he learned a technique once that he calls the "Baked Pear". With this technique you hold a person's bare leg over a small fire, completely immobilized, far enough away that the leg doesn't burn, enough that it just gets warm. Even pleasantly so. After a couple of hours, however, the legs starts to cook, just ever so slowly. The skin will tighten and grow shiny, but again there won't be any pain involved. After another hour the flesh of the leg will be so fragile that simply tapping on the leg will cause it to split open just like a slow-baked pear. The pain at that point will be unbearable. Also, the leg will no longer be restrained, and the prisoner will be allowed to move on his own, but even the slightest movement will cause his leg to rip apart more and more, skin, sinew, and muscle bloodlessly falling away from the bone.

It helps to be holding a candle and staring into it with fascination. Slowly move it closer to the person's face as the story progresses.

Of course the described torture would never work in real life, it's physically impossible. But the average person wouldn't have any idea and a good Intimidation roll means that your character has managed to convince them that they know what they're talking about and have done it before.

Coplantor
2009-03-31, 01:43 PM
Intimidator: "Do as I say or I'll gwt naked!"

Intimidatee: "Wha..!"

Intimidator: "Too late!"

Works perfectly both in DnD and for real life purpouses.

streakster
2009-03-31, 03:15 PM
Heh. One of my favorites - best for a DFA, but anyone can adapt it.



...to every man and nation comes the... Hey, Jonny-boy! You're awake!


You done screaming now? Good, good. I don't like being interrupted. To answer your next question, what you're hanging on to there is an immovable rod. Handy little thing, really. It can keep you from falling all that way...How far down do you think the ground is, Jonny? I caught a thermal on the way up, so...Thousand feet? More? Town's just a speck down there.

Anyway, we're here to discuss something, Jonny. Now, you ever hear that poem? "Once to every man and nation", and so on? No? Suppose there's not much call for poetry, as a guard.

Well, it's all about choosing sides, Jonny. Sometimes a moment comes along where you have to choose your side, see? And I'd say this is one of them.

See, I have a few questions, Jonny. Nothing hard. Yes, I've got questions, and you've got a choice to make.

Now, you can refuse to answer. That's fine. I'll still have to try to get answers, you understand. Candles and wire and whatnot. But you can remain loyal to that Dark Lord of yours. And hey, maybe he'll give you a reward! Didn't seem the generous sort, but who knows? Course, you won't be around to collect any coins if you refuse, but never say die, eh Jonny? Careful there.

Or you can answer my questions here, Jonny. Pick our side. And we'll fly down, and the Paladin will be so happy that you "repented and joined the cause of light" without the wire and so on, and we'll just be friends all round, Jonny. And then we'll go kill the Dark Lord. We've slain dragons, you know, and and one or two gods. We'll win. No doubt there.

So there's your choice. We can head down right now, and send you on your merry way, or ...well... you can be loyal to the end. Your choice, Jonny. Take a moment to think about it.

Oh, and Jonny?

Think fast.

*Tap the Rod button here.*

Quietus
2009-03-31, 03:42 PM
A high-level necromancer of mine, by the name of Keldarin. Had a unique power which allowed him to take an undead form for a limited amount of time - which he was currently using. Think the upper body of a lich, with sections of flesh fallen away showing muscle, sinew, bone, and other wonderful internal organs.. and somewhere around the waist, it all fades to nothing, hovering on a tail of raw mist. And flanking him on either side is two mhorgs, like some kind of grotesque honor guard.

We needed some information, and this Divinity-touched Elf had it. Very calmly, Keldarin simply informed him, "Look, either you can tell us what we want to know, or I will kill you, and ask your dead body. I'd rather save my spells, but we're on a schedule, you see.."

The joy of Speak With Dead at DC 40 or so... :smallsmile:

Quincunx
2009-03-31, 03:48 PM
Just don't underestimate the value of having your victim asking him, "How can I be sure?"

Quietus
2009-03-31, 04:06 PM
Just don't underestimate the value of having your victim asking him, "How can I be sure?"

"Can you afford not to try?"

Alternatively, in the case of Keldarin, I wasn't actually using Intimidate. I was simply informing him. If he'd used Sense Motive, he'd have seen that I was fully intending on following through on my threat. If he'd started to play games, he'd eat a high-DC death spell, or one of any number of methods for killing someone I had available to me. Like I said, we were on a schedule... not a tight one, of course, but hell, Keldarin doesn't like playing stupid games.

afroakuma
2009-03-31, 06:29 PM
"My lord grants me a most wonderful power. I don't know if you're aware of this, so I'll let you in on the secret:

I have the power to speak with the dead."

*slams a knife just above the right ear, leaving it quivering there*

"I find they are more truthful, largely because I can excise fact from their moribund flesh whether they want me to or not. The only inconvenience is of course that the person I wish to question in this fashion must be near at hand."

*stabs second knife through base of right palm, dangerously close to artery*

"You understand, of course, the position that this puts us in, because you clearly do not wish to speak to me while alive, and you are in truth of more value to me dead."

*third knife at an angle through left kneecap*

"As we seem to be in complete agreement regarding the proceeding of our interview, I have no further need of your services in this life."

*unfurls a scroll menacingly*

"It would appear that your throat is more valuable to me intact, so I must instead stab you through the heart. And now, farewell."

Philistine
2009-03-31, 10:04 PM
Hi there! I'd ask how you're doing, but - well, we both already know the answer to that, don't we? You're not doing well, I'm sorry to say. You've been captured by the enemy - meaning myself and my associates - and now... well, very soon now I'm going to ask you some questions. I really think you should answer them promptly, honestly, and completely, so that I can kill you. I know: to you, right now, that doesn't sound like much of an incentive. But that's because you haven't fully comprehended the alternative.

You see, we simply can't let you go now. You might ruin our surprise, and that just wouldn't do. No, that wouldn't do at all. Nor are we inclined to waste a man to guard you here. What I'm saying is, you're already dead. The only questions that remain are, How long will it take?, and How much will it hurt? Cooperate, and the answers can be Mere moments, and Not at all. This dagger is very sharp, you see. One quick pass across your throat and you'll bleed out in moments, feeling no more than a slight sting at worst - like when you nick yourself shaving.

If you refuse, though... well. I take no pleasure in it, you understand. But if you won't help us voluntarily, why then we'll have to ask more vigorously. There are all the traditional tortures, of course: we've got fire, sharp things, blunt things, heavy things... the classics of the field. One quick stab to the belly and you're looking at a perforated gut, infection, and slowly rotting away from the inside out over a period of days, maybe even weeks. You would have to be hamstrung as well - we couldn't very well have you getting loose and running off for help! Finally, if you do succeed in convincing us that you just won't help us at all, we'll end by taking your tongue as well - and then we'll leave you to spend your last few miserable days in agony. All alone, and lying in your own filth. Unable to see, or move, or even call out.

I'm sure you're very brave. But we hold all the cards here, you see, and the reward for bravery this time won't be recognition or promotion. No, the reward for bravery this time will be pain. Pain like nothing you've ever felt in your life. So why be brave? Just tell me what I want to know, and spare yourself all that. Nobody could possibly hold it against you. Everyone will understand. In your place, anyone would talk. So. Shall we be friends? Please, do say yes.

Stormthorn
2009-03-31, 10:10 PM
I dont say anything to intimidate. I cast a weak summon and then Flense on that summon.

After watchign a monster haveing its skin stripped off layer by layer while its phyche is destroyed should add some punch to the requests of my other party members as i pull out another onion (material component.)

TheFallenOne
2009-04-01, 02:51 AM
"Would you like some waffles?"
"... What? Is that supposed to be some kind of threat? That's dumb."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. But not as sorry as you will be when you realize you could have had waffles for this next part."

I'm slightly dissapointed in the punchline. I thought it would be what the waffles are made of. Now, getting fed your own dismembered arm? Scary. Getting fed waffles made from your body parts with sirup on top? Real scary.

chiasaur11
2009-04-01, 09:40 AM
I'm slightly dissapointed in the punchline. I thought it would be what the waffles are made of. Now, getting fed your own dismembered arm? Scary. Getting fed waffles made from your body parts with sirup on top? Real scary.

Also, delicious.

MMmmm. Waffles.

Faulty
2009-04-01, 10:14 AM
"...or I'll tie you down and aim a Maximized Scorching Ray at your crotch."

Baalthazaq
2009-04-01, 11:25 AM
Erm... what level are you?

Open a gate to the abyss and dangle.
Alternatively, kill in a horrible manner, raise dead and say "Again?".

Here's a note from a DM for your players.
When torturing players, have your antagonist threaten him with a poison or spell that removes personality or memory. Instruct your player that he will be writing on a piece of paper, either "I tell you everything" or "I tell you nothing" and hand it to you without the other players seeing, whenever you request one.

Proceed to take XP. Have a clock in full view of the party. Tell him he loses 50XP per minute or something, but base it on his character (Allow him to subtract his will save or something, otherwise you're exclusively torturing the player).

Works like a treat. :) They have no incentive to keep holding out. The other players have no idea if he's about to break, and they mount their defense quicker and more frantically.

The players all get desperate like they should, the player gets more and more frustrated as his companions fail to rescue him and loses more and more hope. You guys have some evil characters, but as a player, your heart ain't as black as mine. ;)

Lappy9000
2009-04-01, 02:12 PM
Erm... what level are you?4th, although I don't think it's particularly relevant....


When torturing players, have your antagonist threaten him with a poison or spell that removes personality or memory. Instruct your player that he will be writing on a piece of paper, either "I tell you everything" or "I tell you nothing" and hand it to you without the other players seeing, whenever you request one.Not gonna be torturing. Threatening to torture may happen, but it'd be an empty threat.

Stormthorn
2009-04-01, 03:11 PM
Erm... what level are you?

Open a gate to the abyss and dangle.
Alternatively, kill in a horrible manner, raise dead and say "Again?".

Here's a note from a DM for your players.
When torturing players, have your antagonist threaten him with a poison or spell that removes personality or memory. Instruct your player that he will be writing on a piece of paper, either "I tell you everything" or "I tell you nothing" and hand it to you without the other players seeing, whenever you request one.

Proceed to take XP. Have a clock in full view of the party. Tell him he loses 50XP per minute or something, but base it on his character (Allow him to subtract his will save or something, otherwise you're exclusively torturing the player).

Works like a treat. :) They have no incentive to keep holding out. The other players have no idea if he's about to break, and they mount their defense quicker and more frantically.

The players all get desperate like they should, the player gets more and more frustrated as his companions fail to rescue him and loses more and more hope. You guys have some evil characters, but as a player, your heart ain't as black as mine. ;)

Yes, im sure all the minmaxers aplaud your metagame evil.

chiasaur11
2009-04-01, 07:21 PM
Yes, im sure all the minmaxers aplaud your metagame evil.

Metagame evil.

More evil than in game evil, but less evil than out of game evil.

It's the 2% milk of evil.

Berserk Monk
2009-04-01, 07:41 PM
I'm a frenzied berserker. (If that doesn't work, give them a demonstration).

Obscurejones
2009-04-01, 08:12 PM
Slight Context: This was a Seven Foot Tall Russian Immigrant talking to a 1950's greaser/punk.
"When Uri was small child Uri break board for amuse friends. Uri is small sickly child, has poor technique, but board still break. Now Uri is older, has had many year to practice, many year to grow. You think you bone harder than board? Is cute thought Johnny. Is cute thought."