Apartment/roommate search advice

[Don Julio Anejo]

Okay, I'm officially going broke paying $1100 for my awesome almost-downtown apartment. I physically can't work more than 1-2 nights a week because of school, which comes down to around $250/week (depending on tips), and since I've recently decided to double major in both psychology and molecular biology (Canadian version of premed) because I want to be just like JD, work in a nutty hospital, have crazy adventures and wear scrubs. Which means I'm going to have summer school so I can't work full-time and save up.

So... I decided to cry for a bit, leave my place and move in with some random person (any friends I would want to live with either travel half the time, wake up at 5 AM or aren't looking to move). I don't want to go through the hassle of looking for both a new place AND a roommate so it would have to be someone who's already got a place and just looking for a roommate.

I'll be looking here, on Craigslist (http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/roo/).

Now here's the question... how do I end up with a roommate that's not a complete jackass without subjecting them to a 4-hour marathon of psychological tests?

And if there's anything you want to share on room-mate living in general or I should be aware of, I'd absolutely love to hear it :smile:

[Divine Comedy]

Hate to break it to you, but roommates are tough. Human beings naturally wear on each other. Do your best not to mess with their stuff or step on their toes when they have work to do or company over.

My best advice is to have your prospective roommates hang out with you for a bit, and interact with friends you have. Invite them to play video games or watch sports/movies/whatever.

It sounds weird but the best way to get a feel for them is in a date-type environment. Begin "dating" your prospective roommates. Yes, very weird, but the best alternative to a 4-hour question session. Alternatively find a friend who spends a lot of time around you to come live with you.

Keep in mind though that living together naturally strains any sort of relationship short of being in love with someone (and oftentimes strains that too).

If you and your prospective roommates have significant others then you could go on a double date.

[Felixaar]

Come live with me in Melbourne! There's always plenty of room!

Once, I, er, get a place, that is.

Also: how about trying to get a roomate yourself? Is your apartment big enough for another person? Could you find a new apartment which is?

[Divine Comedy]

Oh, good point Felix. If he's going on Craigslist to get an apartment that already has people in it then it's a roll of the dice. You can't do much more than try to meet several people from the ones you like. Even then it'll still be pretty random as to whether they are wonderful human beings or psychopathic killers who will wear your scalp as a warm cap.

.... on the other hand I'm probably a bit jaded from my experiences with roommates.

[Don Julio Anejo]

My place is simply too small for 2 people to comfortably live :frown:

Divine Comedy: why are you jaded? :eek:

PS: I'm more worried about anal retentive controlling types than serial killers. After all, serial killers are wonderful human beings 364 days per year (365 during leap years) and do their dirty business quietly and away from everyone else. Or so do my profs say.

[Divine Comedy]

I've had 1 of 2 experiences with every roommate I've ever had. After a few months I hate them, or after a few months they hate me. This has happened with really good friends of mine too. We're still friends, but when we lived together one particular friend of mine really grated on my nerves.

I got to deal with all his annoying unhygienic habits that I normally didn't see, as well as having to come home from a hard day of work to him ribbing me. There's a fine line between living with someone and enjoying it, and it's easy to cross.

The only person I've ever been able to live with successfully has been my wife. And that's obviously a different situation. Amusingly enough living with someone changes all your dynamics of being around them, it's almost like being in a relationship.

Now you could luck out and have roommates that rarely come home or interact with you, but that can lead to its own problems when one of you suddenly has a problem and the other person is nowhere to be found.

Edit- If you want horror stories, I've roomed with jocks who came home drunk every night and wrecked our bathroom. I've roomed with multiple gay guys who thought I was a homophobe and tried to get me kicked out (no I'm not a homophobe, and I never even talked about them). I've roomed with people who tried to steal my wife while we were dating. Actually, I've roomed with several people who tried to steal my wife.

My friend who annoyed the living heck out of me? Probably still my best experience with roommates. Oh on that note, hi Rathgar, if you're reading this. See you sometime.

[thestarvingpoet]

Think of the things that bother you right now - i.e. if you forget to clean, are you upset with yourself and feel dirty? If you leave the dishes for a week does that bother you, or not? These are the things you want to ask prospective roommates. For the most part personalities can mesh - if you don't particularly like each other you can still live with each other as long as the niceties are met. However if he's a neat freak and you're a slob, it's probably not going to work so well.

For example, I had a roommate who would do the dishes, but really never did any other cleaning. This drove me bonkers, especially after the 8 millionth time I got to scrub a gross bathroom. We set up a schedule, and it still didn't work - she just would not clean.

An irrational thing that drives me crazy is when cupboard doors are left open. My boyfriend used to leave them hanging open all the time and I'd have a mini freakout and go around slamming all the cupboard doors shut. He's better now because he knows it bothers me, but you can't expect a roommate to make those changes for someone who might not be anything more than an acquaintance.

So, from my experience, you can have nothing in common, but still get along fine as roommates. Therefore, don't worry too much about personality (unless you instantly loathe them), but worry about the habits that you both keep. Cleaning, hours, parties, friends over all the time, etc are all things you'll want to watch out for.

[Quincunx]

Quantify "clean", "quiet", and related terms. One person might start getting cross-eyed when the kitchen isn't cleaned weekly. Another might scrub the food-preparation surfaces daily and mop the floor once a month. A third person might live on take-out food and never clean a room that person never uses. That won't catch all the little irritations but filtering out some is better than miscommunicating entirely.

Decide whose name goes on which utility bill; that bill is proof of residence. Decide who pays whom, as the rent will be drawn from one account, and if that person is overdrawn at the time it gets ugly. Find out the grace period between missing a rent payment and getting booted out (no one wants to discuss it, but these are shaky economic times).