Microsoft Word's finally gone insane (1 image)

[llamamushroom]

I've had my suspicions before now, but I've finally got proof - I've driven Microsoft Word insane.

http://i285.photobucket.com/albums/ll80/llamamushroom/MicrosoftWordsGoneInsane.png

[Haruki-kun]

.......

Is there any chance this is a joke? :smalleek: :smallconfused:

[kpenguin]

That's photoshopped... for the sake of my sanity, that must be photoshopped.

[Pyrian]

Word's grammer checker has never been a match for my sentence structures, either. :smallcool:

[Starscream]

You know how in Peter Pan every time someone says they don't believe in fairies a fairy somewhere keels over and dies?*

I'm pretty sure that some English teacher just bit the dust.



*Which doesn't allow you to claim xp for killing pixies in D&D, I've tried.

[Felixaar]

Word's grammer checker has never been a match for my sentence structures, either. :smallcool:

Or, in my case, lack thereof.

[crimson77]

You probably added "him's" by accident in your custom dictionary. You will have to go into your custom dictionary and remove that word. Just go to dictionary options and look for custom dictionary or search microsoft's website for further clarification.

[llamamushroom]

No, it wasn't photoshopped. I noticed it when I was doing some work last night/this morning, and my brother can attest to its existence.

crimson77: I feel insulted! :smallwink:

But I'll check the dictionary. It's a slightly more acceptable explanation than my current 'electronic senility' theory. However, I don't understand why it would see 'him's' as acceptable, as I always thought the dictionary and the grammar checker were quite separate. Somebody who knows something about the intimate workings of word processors, please?

[crimson77]

crimson77: I feel insulted! :smallwink:

Do not be insulted. It happened to me once so I now always check to see if something is amiss there to rule out human error before I start criticizing the machines. The last thing I want to do is start an unjustified cylon war. :smallwink:

[ghost_warlock]

That's hilarious. :smallbiggrin:

Also, it reminded me that I haven't checked FailBlog for days! *Hasta go get him's some fail*

[banjo1985]

Hehe, it's nice to have a chuckle early in a morning. :smallbiggrin:

[thubby]

word takes stupid to a whole new level. i swear if I have to undo another automatic format change :smallfurious:

[Fiery Diamond]

Is it possible to change the grammar checker somehow...? That's all I can figure. Otherwise, a wizard did it. ... ... ... A computer wizard.

... I'll shut up now.

[Thufir]

Huh. That's pretty bad. The worst I get is when it doesn't recognise words which are a) Old (Say, taken from Shakespeare, Marlowe, or Gilbert), b) Internet terminology (e.g. Shipfic) or c) Names of forum members.
Sometimes the suggestions are rather amusing, though.

[toasty]

Word is idiotic. Completely, totally, idiotic.

Though the spell check is usually decently useful. But the grammar check? Only thing that's good for is checking for fragments, and that's only sometimes. :P

[Ascension]

Grammar check has been and always will be nothing more than a trap for the ignorant. It was a bad idea. They should have stuck with spelling.

[Cristo Meyers]

Ah, Word grammarcheck...

...Keeping Proofreaders in business since 19*whenver they introduced it*

[Calinero]

I believe in English teachers! I do! I do! *claps his hands*

[Neko Toast]

A similar situation happened to a friend of mine.

Word wouldn't recognize "monologuing" as a word (which I suppose, technically, it isn't), but "Iksnegreb" (or something along those lines; it was my friend's name backwards) was perfectly fine.

Word is stupid sometimes. I always turn the grammar correction off because it hates passive sentences and compound words like can't.

[Rawhide]

Ah, but does word recognise the acronym HTCPCP (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyper_Text_Coffee_Pot_Control_Protocol)?

[Katrascythe]

I had a pretty fail moment on the last paper I wrote. I don't remember what the word was, but the usage was correct without any doubt. However, Microsoft wanted to correct it, so I brought up the options. I changed it to another word which was equally correct, and the word was marked wrong. So, basically, Microsoft word went back and forth between two words that were right in the context I was using them. I finally just had to have Word ignore the grammar rule.

[Vuzzmop]

I award you vun, und precisely vun internet.

Enjoy.

[The Blackbird]

I believe in English teachers! I do! I do! *claps his hands*

I don't:smallannoyed:.

Just kidding

[Recaiden]

Ah, but does word recognise the acronym HTCPCP (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyper_Text_Coffee_Pot_Control_Protocol)?

Apparently not. Which is a shame, seeing how often that must come up.

[742]

word is horrible and evil and must be purged from the world. but at least its not openoffice.org, and we can at least be thankful for that.

[bluewind95]

There's a very good reason we can't yet reliably give commands to a computer in natural language. :smalltongue:

[_Zoot_]

Hmmmm.....

I think i have found the problem.

YOU KILLED IT!
(Good shot)
What did Word do to you?

[Sneak]

Microsoft Word often tries to correct my last name to Hemline.

My last name is not hemline! :smallfurious:

[Katrascythe]

Word likes marking my last name as incorrect since it's a real word in the English language. It either doesn't want the word capitalized or it doesn't understand the grammar usage. So Sneak, I feel your pain...

[Athaniar]

I've never really liked Word's grammar checker. Speaking of grammar, one must remember that it is spelled with in "a", not an "e", otherwise you have a function that checks for faulty uses of Frasier Crane and/or Sideshow Bob. Back on topic, I usually turn it off, unless it is very important that I spell everything correctly, which isn't usually the case.

[RMS Oceanic]

Hey, that's very "Norn Iron"-ish, i.e. the Mid-Ulster Dialect of English.

Example sentance: "What about Dave? Him's off at the pub."

[Muz]

Speaking of grammar, one must remember that it is spelled with in "a", not an "e", otherwise you have a function that checks for faulty uses of Frasier Crane and/or Sideshow Bob.

Well sometimes you need to check for those things. :smallbiggrin:

A professor at the U of Washington has a personal vendetta against Word's grammar checker (or at least a quest to get Microsoft to improve it). Here's a Seattle P.I. story about it, if you're curious. (http://www.seattlepi.com/business/217802_grammar28.asp) My personal favorite example is the following, which Word did NOT see anything wrong with (with which Word did NOT see anything wrong? :smallwink:):

Marketing are bad for brand big and small. You Know What I am Saying? It is no wondering that advertisings are bad for company in America, Chicago and Germany. ... McDonald's and Coca Cola are good brand. ... Gates do good marketing job in Microsoft. :smalleek:

[Groundhog]

There is a way to fix it, at least with my version of Word (which is Word for Mac) Choose the "Grammar" option in that menu, and click Options. Then click on the button next to the Writing Style menu that says "Settings." There should be a list of things that it will check for grammar. Uncheck the one that says "Contractions."

Hope this helps!

[Vella_Malachite]

Bah! My grammar checker is equally incompetent. I consider myself trained enough to know how to use grammar properly at least 94% of the time; of the other 6%, 4% I will pick up when I reread it, and the remaining 2% I usually haven't ever used before.

So, to avoid those b****y green lines under correct sentences, I turned it off.
My grammar has not gotten worse, and I feel that my stress level has gone down significantly.

The dictionary stayed on, though. It checks for typos when my mind is thinking too far ahead for my fingers.
Does anyone else have to add massive amounts of words to the dictionary? I know I do; I write fantasy a lot, and I hate red lines under all the names. Just checking if anyone else has this problem...

[Fiery Diamond]

Does anyone else have to add massive amounts of words to the dictionary? I know I do; I write fantasy a lot, and I hate red lines under all the names. Just checking if anyone else has this problem...

Whoa, me too! Awesome! (the writing fantasy and therefore needing to get rid of the red line under the names by adding them to the dictionary part, as well as the needing spell-check because my fingers go too fast)

[Chas the mage]

type:
=rand(1)
then press enter.

[Trizap]

wow a bunch of people raging over some mistake in adding a new word to one's custom dictionary, I mean I hate the color pink, the color gray, motormouths and know-it-alls, but seriously, getting angry over something this minuscule and unimportant...........I think you should all just let it go, its just "'s" added to "him".....easily fixable......

[Rawhide]

type:
=rand(1)
then press enter.

No, use:
=rand(99,200)

[Jack Squat]

No, use:
=rand(99,200)

...that just gave me 562 pages of I don't know what.


Kinda cool, seeing what the rand function does, but I can't say I'll ever end up using anywhere near that much to test out formatting.

[Rawhide]

...that just gave me 562 pages of I don't know what.


Kinda cool, seeing what the rand function does, but I can't say I'll ever end up using anywhere near that much to test out formatting.

First number sets the number of paragraphs, second sets the number of lines per paragraph (unless I'm remembering it backwards? Meh). As long as both numbers are less than or equal to 299 total, you can pretty much adjust the output to your liking.

[Groundhog]

I just tested that out, and it's really funny. Do you know if it's possible to change the sentence that it generates?