Ready Aim Fire Classic XXII - RAF And The Holy Grail

[Zar Peter]

Ready Aim Fire CLASSIC XXII - RAF And The Holy Grail

This game is identical with Silkenfist's game, “Ready Aim Fire!”. Thank you Silkenfist for the idea.This is RAF Classic, the original, free-for-all RAF game. You can find Team RAF, the team-based variant of this game in the Forums when Lord Herman decides to continue the series.

The main rules (spoilered because I think most of the people know them already):

You have to decide between three actions:
1) Shoot the air –> Nothing happens. If you get shot you die.

2) Shoot [insert player name here] –> [insert player name here] dies if he did not shoot himself.

3) Shoot yourself -> if no one tries to kill you, you die! If someone shoots you this player will get killed instead of you and you live!

For better understanding here is a link to Lord Herman’s “comic for better understanding the rules of Ready Aim Fire”. (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Instructions.png)
You have about three days to PM your action to the narrator (=me!). I will announce the submission date in the Narrator Posts.I will post the end of the round and start writing then, no PMs will be accepted after the end of the round post.If you miss a date once you shoot the air. If you miss a date twice in a row you get autolynched.

Here is the Hall of Fame:

{table=head]Game number|Game title|Winner|number of contestants|Narrator
RAF I | The First | DarkLightDragon | 14 contestants | Silkenfist
RAF II | The godfather legacy | B-Man | 8 patrons | Silkenfist
RAF III | Pirates | Bookman | 12 Pirates | Silkenfist
RAF IV | Ghost Town | Alarra | 16 cowboys | Silkenfist
RAF V | Thawing Glaciers | Bookman | 17 caveman | Silkenfist
RAF VI | The last flight of the Hermes | Deckmaster | 20 Hackers | Silkenfist
RAV VII | Hideyoshis Messanger | DarkLightDragon | 27 shinobi | Silkenfist
RAF VIII | Boonta Eve Memorial | DarkLightDragon | 28 Rebels | Silkenfist
RAF IX | Tainted Gold | Krursk | 32 treasure hunters | Silkenfist
RAF X | Year of fourty emperors | Krursk | 39 senators | Silkenfist
RAF XI | Banquet Arcana | Shadow | 43 wizards | Silkenfist
RAF XII | Worms | Inky13112 | 37 worms | evnafets
RAF XIII | Zombie Attack | Destro_Yersul | 39 Zombies | evnafets
RAF XIV | The Giant Playground | Almighty Salmon | 37 kids | Zar Peter
RAF XV | Doctor, we have an emergancy | Shishnarfne | 36 doctors | Mordokai
RAF XVI | The Great American Cross Country Road Race | Fleeing Coward | 30 drivers | Zar Peter
RAF XVII | Playground Idol | Phase | 26 singers | Zar Peter
RAF XVIII | Playground Festival | Fleeing Coward | 18 celebrators | Zombie Pixe / Dallas Dakota
RAF XIX | On the turtles back | Freshmeat | 32 Ankh-Morporkians | Uncle Festy
RAF XX | Firefly | undisclosed | 40 Flies | Thanatos
RAF XXI | The War of the Roses | Wolfbane | 25 heirs of the Throne | Zar Peter
[/table]

Here is the autonotify list (with all name changes, hopefully):

Azure Butterfly
Banjo1985
DD the Cookiemonster
Destro_Yersul
Dirk Kris
Draken
Fin
Fredricus
Freshmeat_
Inigo Montoya
jurgenVW
Lord_Herman
Numberfourteen
Raeden
Recaiden
Reinholdt
Shadow
Thanatos 51-50
Thes Hunter
Uncle Festy
Vampiric

They will be informed as soon as the thread is up.

Sign up ends on Monday, the 20th April 2009.

Oh, and theme Moty Python. No, theme is the search for the Holy Grail! Nothing to do with Monty Python. Who is that after all? I expect serious role claims! (By the way, role pick is not neccessary to play. A simple sign up is enough.)

Players so far:

{table=head]Nr.|Player name|Role
1|DD the Cookiemonster|The second Spanish Inquisition (Surprise Squad)
2|Wolfbane|Spanish Inquisition
3|Uncle Festy|Minister of funny Walks
4|EagleWiz|Vorpal Bunny
5|happyturtle|Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
6|Reinholdt|light spring breeze
7|Lord Herman|French Guard
8|Mordokai|unholy Grail
9|Thanatos 51-50|time traveling dashing swordsman
10|Dirk Kris|wicked evil naughty Zoot
11|banjo1985|Oliver Zinc-Trumpet Harris
12|Destro Yersul|Death
13|TwoBitWriter|Sir Galahad the Chaste
14|Shadow|Black Knight
15|Fin|Vicious bunny
16|deathslayer7|unladden Swallow
17|Mustiado|Bard and Cronies
18|Hyozo|Parrot
19|evnafets|Knight of Ni
20|Nychta|Roger the Shrubber
21|Inigo Montoya|loaded up African Swallow
22|Crimmy|O, Tim
23|Fleeing Coward|Sir Robin
24|Dr. Bath|deadly Coconut
[/table]

[UncleWolf]

In, as...

The Spanish Inquisition! :smalltongue:

This will probably be the only game I have time for other than the ones I am in.

[Uncle Festy]

ININININ!
As the minister of funny walks.

[EagleWiz]

In as the Vorpal Bunny

[happyturtle]

In as the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

[Reinholdt]

In as a light spring breeze.
*looks at Zar*
What? Just keeping you on your toes. :smalltongue:

[UncleWolf]

In as a light spring breeze.
*looks at Zar*
What? Just keeping you on your toes. :smalltongue:

I still want to know how you could have won that one. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Herman]

I'm in! I shall be the French guard, protecting the grail from all you English sons of electric donkey bottom biters!

[Zar Peter]

Hi all!
I couldn't find Fredrikus anymore, I think he changed his name. If anyone knows his new identity please tell me.

[Dallas-Dakota]

As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.

[Lord Herman]

His name is spelled with a C, not a K. Maybe that's why you couldn't find him.

[Mordokai]

I'm in. Role to be determined at later date. Or not.

[Thanatos 51-50]

In, as a Dashing Swashbuckler who buckles swashes with a long-stemmed rose in one hand, a half-empty bottle of Wine (Circa 2028, but somehow a millenia old), and blindfolded.

I have no idea why I put two time traveller concepts in a row down.

[Dirk Kris]

In, as the wicked, evil, naughty Zoot!

[banjo1985]

In as Oliver Zinc-Trumpet Harris, the Upper Class Twit of the Year please!

[Dallas-Dakota]

And as the holy chalice!

[Destro_Yersul]

In as death.

[happyturtle]

Abe: Death stalks you at every turn!
Lisa: Grampa!
Abe: Well, it does -- aah! Death! There it is. Death!
Lisa: It's only Maggie.
Abe: [laughs sheepishly] Oh, yeah. You know, at my age, the mind
starts playing tricks. So -- aah! Death!
Lisa: That's only the cat.
Abe: Oh. Aah! Death!
Lisa: That's Maggie again, Grampa.
Abe: Oh. Where were we? Death!

[TwoBitWriter]

In like Flint. And, I'm roleplaying as Sir Galahad, you know, the chaste. :smallbiggrin:

[UncleWolf]

In like Flint. And, I'm roleplaying as Sir Galahad, you know, the chaste. :smallbiggrin:

:smalltongue:

Quick! Grab him and tie him down!

Yes sir!

I'll grab the Soft Cushions!

Nay! Grab the... Comfy Chair!

No sir! Not the Comfy Chair!

Yes!

*puts Twobit into the chair*

Hahaha! Confess! Confess!

[Shadow]

I'm in.
And on a side note, I never realized that the game that I won was the largest we've had.
Awesome!

[Fin]

In as the vicious bunny!

'Is that it!? You mangy old coot, I nearly soiled my armour I was that scared!'

[Deathslayer7]

In as the unladen swallow :smallbiggrin:

[Mustiado]

In! As the bard and cronies.

[TwoBitWriter]

In, as the wicked, evil, naughty Zoot!

Is it time for your spankings yet? :smallamused:

[Hyozo]

In as a parrot.

[Shadow]

Now that I've read the previous posts, and it's still available, I'll play as:http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/basketball/knicks/blog/Monty_Python_2__limbless_Black_Knight-thumb.jpg
The Black Knight!

[evnafets]

!IN fo thginK a as NI

In as a knight of NI!

[Nychta]

In with a shrubbery!

In In In with shrubbery!

In In Shrubbery In!

In In Shrubbery In Shrubbery In In In!


...spam

[Uncle Festy]

Gone for the next 2 days.
Sorry.

[Inigo Montoya]

I'm in, but as a loaded up African swallow.

[Crimmy]

In, as The Great Wizard...
Tim...

You may all call me "O, Tim!"

[Zar Peter]

Gone for the next 2 days.
Sorry.

Sign up ends next Monday so you have plenty time...

[Fleeing Coward]

In as Sir Robin

[Nychta]

Actually, I want to be Roger the Shrubber.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I've changed my mind.

Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!

(in as the spanish inquisition)

[UncleWolf]

I've changed my mind.

Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!

(in as the spanish inquisition)

What is better is that no one ever expects TWO of them! :smalltongue:

[Dr. Bath]

In as the coconuts. Deadly ones.

[Zar Peter]

Three days left for sign up

[billtodamax]

I'll sit this one out until I see how it's played.

[Zar Peter]

Last bump before game starts!

[Mordokai]

I'll play as Holy Grail evil brother, the Unholy Grail.

[Zar Peter]

England 932 AD. A Kingdom divided. To the west the Anglo-Saxons, to the East the French. Above nothing but Celts and some people from Scotland. In Gwynned, Powys and Dyfed – Plague. In the kingdoms of Wessex, Sussex, Essex and Kent – Plague. In Mercia and the two Anglias – Plague. With a 50% chance of pestilence and famine coming out of the Northeast at twelve miles per hour. Legend tells us of an extraordinary leader, who arose from the chaos, to unite a troubled kingdom. A man with a vision who gathered Knights together in a Holy Quest. This man was Arthur, King of the Britons.

This is the story about the quest, not about the man, sorry.

England, 932 AD. Spring. King Arthur and his buddies, the strangely flatulent Sir Bedevere, the dashingly handsome Sir Galahad, the homicidally brave Sir Lancelot, Sir Robin the Not-quite-so brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, who slew the vicious chicken of Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the battle of Badon Hill , and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-game were going camping. A light spring breeze was playing with their nose-hairs as suddenly God himself appeared. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRlnSgu-bY)

GOD: ARTHUR! ARTHUR! King of the Britains! This is the holy Grail. Look well for this is your purpose, Arthur. The quest for the holy Grail

Arthur: God be praised, we have a quest!

Sir Galahad: To find the Grail!

Sir Robin: The quail…

Arthur: No, no. The grail. The cup used at the last supper.

Sir Robin: God the almighty and all knowing misplaced the cup?

Sir Galahad: Apparantly.

Arthur: Look. It’s not just about a missing mug. It’s a metaphor. We must all look for the grail within us.

Sir Robin: Somebody swallowed it?

Arthur: Nobody swallowed it. It’s a symbol! Look, just go and find it.


LADY OF THE LAKE:
If you trust in your song
Keep your eyes on the goal
Then the prize you won't fail
That's your grail
That's your grail

So be strong
Keep right on
To the end of your song
Do not fail
Find your grail
Find your grail
Find your grail

Life is really up to you
You must choose what to pursue ohh yeeeah
Set your mind on what to find
And there's nothin' you can't doooo

So keep right to the end
You'll find your goal my friend
You won't fail
Find your grail
Find your grai-a-a-a-ail
Find your grail

ALL:
Find your grail
Find your grail

ARTHUR:
When your life
Seems dejeffed
When we all need a lift
Trim your sail
you won't fail
Find your grail
Find your grail

Life is really up to you
You must choose what to pursue
Set your mind on what to find

LADY OF THE LAKE:
And there's nothin' you can't do
You can't do
Dooooo!!

ALL:
So keep right (so keep right)
to the end (to the end)
You'll find your goal my friend
Find your grail!
You won't fail
Find your grail
Find your grail
Find your grail!!

LADY OF THE LAKE:
Ohhhh
You'll find it!
You'll find it!
YEEEEAH!
You gotta keep on
Goin round!
Goin round!
Cause I know
YEEEEEEAAAH!


Ok, first round starts now. Please send in your action in the next 72 hours.
Good luck and have fun!

And this is the player list:

{table=head]Nr.|Player|Role
1|DD the Cookiemonster|The second Spanish Inquisition (Surprise Squad)
2|Wolfbane|Spanish Inquisition
3|Uncle Festy|Minister of funny Walks
4|EagleWiz|Vorpal Bunny
5|happyturtle|Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
6|Reinholdt|light spring breeze
7|Lord Herman|French Guard
8|Mordokai|unholy Grail
9|Thanatos 51-50|time traveling dashing swordsman
10|Dirk Kris|wicked evil naughty Zoot
11|banjo1985|Oliver Zinc-Trumpet Harris
12|Destro Yersul|Death
13|TwoBitWriter|Sir Galahad the Chaste
14|Shadow|Black Knight
15|Fin|Vicious bunny
16|deathslayer7|unladden Swallow
17|Mustiado|Bard and Cronies
18|Hyozo|Parrot
19|evnafets|Knight of Ni
20|Nychta|Roger the Shrubber
21|Inigo Montoya|loaded up African Swallow
22|Crimmy|O, Tim
23|Fleeing Coward|Sir Robin
24|Dr. Bath|deadly Coconut[/table]

[TwoBitWriter]

Sir Galahad, riding proudly on his "horse" and basking in the holiness of chastity, is quite overwhelmed by the recent spectacle.

"So do you think there will be some good smiting to go along with this quest? I can't wait to drive my longsword deep into the depths of the evil and tainted! To grab it and force it to succumb to my holy bidding..."

He begins to mumble a short prayer, asking God for the power to smite as much as he possibly can.

[UncleWolf]

And who shall be the first victim of the Spanish Inquisition?

Uh...How about that guy boss?

*sees a Frenchman*

You! You shall do nicely!

[Lord Herman]

*stands atop the walls of castle AAAAAAAAUGH*

You don't frighten us, you Spanish sons of plumbers' assistants! I laugh at you and your silly hats, you wearers of ladies' undergarments! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

[happyturtle]

http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/holy_hand_grenade-01.jpg

[Reinholdt]

A light spring breeze blows past the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch five times.

[Crimmy]

*Tim the Enchanter walks by, and lights a match with his power.*

[evnafets]

Anyone whoso attacketh me beware! For I shall NI thee in the groin!

NI!

[banjo1985]

"Wahaw...ahawhawhawhaw....hah!"

Oliver Zinc-Trumpet Harris falls over the matchbox fence and lies on the ground, not really sure how to get up...or why indeed he is on the floor in the first place.

[Dirk Kris]

Zoot emerges from Castle Anthrax, her identical twin sister Dingo close behind. The two girls yell at each other, then start wrestling. Eventually Dingo wins, and bends her sister over her knee to give her a sound spanking.

[happyturtle]

Brother Maynard steps out and addresses the crowd.

"On behalf of my client, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, I would like to read the following statement:


'Recently, on a trip to the pub with a few other artifacts, I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgement. I did not intend to cause a bomb scare (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5018294/Pub-evacuated-after-Monty-Python-prop-mistaken-for-grenade.html), and I am certain that if I had not been intoxicated, I would have behaved better. As a holy weapon, I recognize that I am a role model to young people, and therefore have a responsibility to set a good example. I deeply regret my failure and hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.'"

[Inigo Montoya]

Meanwhile, a ladden African Swallow starts flying across England. Why? He doesn't know.

[Zar Peter]

I'll start writing in about 6 hours! Get in your actions, I'm still missing some.

[Reinholdt]

A light spring breeze blows all of Zar Peter's notes away.
Or tries. Then realizes it's a light weight and only ends up ruffling the papers a little.

[Zar Peter]

OK, Times up, I'm writing.

Didn't get 6 actions... :smallannoyed:
But the actions I got are hillarious :smallbiggrin:

[Zar Peter]

So, this is it... beware, heavy reading! (Most is copied from sketches, sorry)


Minstrel sings:

Bravely bold Sir Robin
Brought forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh, brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken!
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.

His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowls unplugged,
And his nostrils raked and his bottom burnt off,
And his penis--

Robin (interputing): That's...That's, uh... That's enough music for now,
lads. Aaaahh! Can you smell that lads? Spring is coming!

* * *

A deadly Coconut waited on a Palm tree for something to happen. A viciouse slight spring breeze flew by but didn’t do anything…

* * *

Tim the enchanter casts a few fire balls and waits for some nights he could enchant with his prophecy skills. Suddenly a light spring breeze lightens up his mind, but only for a very short while.

* * *

Two little bunnies are hopping out of their hole to nibble on the first spring flowers they just dreamed of.

* * *

The second spanish inquisition, surprise squad, is asleep. Surprise!

* * *

A time travelling swordsmen travells through time, swinging his sword. It seems he didn’t find the correct time by now. A fresh autum breeze tickles his nose.

* * *

Cardinal Biggles: What are we doing today?

Cardinal Fang: Don’t know… how about the Casino?

Cardinal Biggles: Didn’t you lose half your money there last time?

Cardinal Fang: Hey! I only suggested it! I didn’t expect the spanish Inquisiton!
[JARRING CHORD]

[The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain enters]

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
[Cardinal Ximinez exits]
Cardinal Fang: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals burst in]
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
[To Cardinal Biggles] I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Biggles: What?
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Biggles: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that...
[Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again]
Cardinal Fang: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The cardinals enter]
Biggles: Er.... Nobody...um....
Ximinez: Expects...
Biggles: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Spanish...um...
Ximinez: Inquisition.
Biggles: I know, I know! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Ximinez: Our chief weapons are...
Biggles: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Ximinez: Surprise...
Biggles: Surprise and --
Ximinez: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
Fang: I am hereby charged that I did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--'
Biggles: That's enough.
Now, how do you plead?
Cardinal Fang: I’m innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
[DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER]
Biggles: We'll soon change your mind about that!
[DIABOLICAL ACTING]
Ximinez: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ooooh! Now, Cardinal -- the rack!

Ximinez: You....Right! Tie him down.
[Biggles make a pathetic attempt to tie Fang on to the drying rack]
Ximinez:Right! How do you plead?
Fang: Innocent.
Ximinez: Ha! Right! Cardinal, give the rack [oh dear] give the rack a turn.
[Biggles stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders]
Biggles: I....
Ximinez: [gritting his teeth] I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Biggles: I...
Ximinez: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Biggles: Shall I...?
Ximinez: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Biggles turns an imaginary handle on the side of the dish-rack]
Ximinez: And now… Kill the commiters of heresy!
Biggles: But… but…
Ximenez: Don’t make me angry again! One mistake is enough!
[Biggles takes out a gun and shoots Fang, Xinenez and at last himself]
Ximenez [dieing]: That’s our biggest weapon… surprise. And a gun… Our two biggest weapons…

* * *

Brother Maynard: How does it work?
Second Brother: I don’t know… maybe it’s in the book of Armamants
BROTHER MAYNARD: Lt’s have a look… here it is: Armaments, Chapter Two, verses Nine to Twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the
Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand
Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall
snuff it.'
MAYNARD: Amen. And now that I have took out the holy Pin I count to four…
Second Brother: Three!
Maynard: Ah, yes, thank you. One… two… three…
Second Brother: Don’t forget to throw!
Maynard: Yes, yes…

* BOOOM *

Maynard: Well, it’s working… and now? Can we reassamble it?
Second Brother: I don’t know… I never saw how they make it work a second time.

* * *

FRENCH GUARD: Allo! Who is eet?
ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Who's castle is this?
FRENCH GUARD: This is the castle of my master Guy de Loimbard.
ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
FRENCH GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see?
ARTHUR: What?
GALAHAD: He says they've already got one!
ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one?
FRENCH GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
ARTHUR: Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
FRENCH GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you then?
FRENCH GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
FRENCH GUARD: Mind your own business!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man--
FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
FRENCH GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a! [sniff]
ARTHUR: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la vache.)
OTHER FRENCH GUARD: Quoi?
FRENCH GUARD: (Fetchez la vache!)
[mooo]
ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
[twong]
[mooooooo]
Jesus Christ!
KNIGHTS: Christ!
[thud]
Ah! Ohh!
ARTHUR: Right! Charge!
KNIGHTS: Charge!
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD: Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go.
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD: And this one's for your dad!
ARTHUR: Run away!
KNIGHTS: Run away!
FRENCH GUARD: Thppppt!
FRENCH GUARDS: [taunting]
LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart!

And Launcelot throws his sword up the castle walls and really, he hit one of the Guards who falls of the castle...

Arthur: What a bunch of luck…

* * *

[Two crusaders stand around a cup]

So, how do we know that this is the holy grail?

Well, it’s said that the holy grail gifts you with an eternal life. Of course there is the unholy grail, too. It gifts you with a sudden death. But chances are low that this mug is one of the two.

So the only chance we have is to drink something out of it… well, I take the water from this well and drink something…

[he drinks, turns green and falls death to the ground]

So this is the unholy grail then? I smash it to thousand pieces.

[He smashes the grail to thousand pieces, takes his own cup out of his Rucksack, drinks some water from the well, turns green and falls to the ground dieing…]

Maybe… the well… was poisened…

* * *

[Meanwhile in Deaths home]

So many people shooting themselves… maybe there is something I don’t know… I will try it.

[Death shoots himself and is Death]

Hmm. That tickled. I’ll try again.

[Death shoots himself and is Death]

I can feel my left toe again! That’s not bad. Again…

[Death shoots himself and is Death]

I remember where I left the key for the bathroom drawer… that’s really relaxing

[Death shoots himself and is Death]

[Death shoots himself and is Death]

[Death shoots himself and is Death]

[Death shoots himself and is Death]

…

* * *

An unladden european swallow was eager to beat the velocity record or unladden swallows. It wanted master the distance from South Nutfield, England, to Fau Qibli, Egypt in less than 6 days, 18 hours, 38 minutes and 3 seconds, the current record flewn by an african unladden swallow.
Unfortunatley there was fog above the alps and the swallow smashed to pieces on the Matterhorn.

* * *

A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Parrot: I’m not dead!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Parrot: I’m not dead!
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Parrot: I’m getting better!
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Parrot: I feel fine!
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Parrot: I think I'll go for a walk....
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
Suddenly the parrot jumps up and sings
I am not dead yet
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the Highland Fling

I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor
Cause I'm not yet dead.

Parrot choir:
He is not yet dead
That's what the geezer said
No, he's not yet dead
That man is off his head

He is not yet dead
So put him back in bed
Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead.
Mr. Praline takes a shovel and whacks the parrot in the head.

Well now he's dead
You whacked him on the head
Sure, now he's dead
It makes me just see red
You are such a brute
To murder that old coot
Mr. Praline: It’s so hard to make a decent scetch with the material we get here… well, go on with it.
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

* * *

Narrator: The knights of Ni are standing beside their new shrubbery. Suddenly a vicious and murderous light spring breeze flews along and chokes them to death…
Colonel: Stop it! Stop! This is getting too silly. Dead parrots, ok, but vicious and deadly light spring breezes? Are you serious?

Narrator: No, no, it shouldn’t be meant serious.

Colonel: Yes, but it’s not fun. Cut it out.

Narrator: But how should I cut it out? Who kills the Knights of Ni than?

Colonel: Let them shoot themselves.

Narrator: And the Light spring breeze?

Colonel: I told you to cut it out! There is no light spring breeze anymore! It never existed! Period!

Narrator: Ah well, the Knights of Ni, depressed by the lack of a light spring breeze, shot themselves…

Colonel: Watch your step! That was close to an infraction. Now go on with the narration.

* * *

Sir Galahad the chast rode to a dark wood. Suddenly a black knight stood in his way.

Black Knight: NONE SHALL PASS.
Galahad: (taken aback) What?
Black Knight: NONE SHALL PASS.
Galahad: I have no quarrel with you, good sir knight, but I must cross
this bridge.
Black Knight: THEN YOU SHALL DIE.
Galahad: I *command* you, as king of the Britons, to stand aside.
Black Knight: I MOVE FOR NO MAN.
Galahad: So be it! (draws sword)

Galahad and the Black Knight both fight a blurring battle. They whirl up so much dust that no one can see anything. As the dust settles they both are lying on the ground without arms and feet.

Galahad: Okay, we'll call it a draw.
Black Knight: No! I won! NONE SHALL PASS!

Galahad rolls on the ground and passes the Black Knight. The Black Knight start’s rolling, too, chasing Galahad into the setting sun.

* * *

It was a dark and stormy night. 4 very different people are searching for shelter as they approached a castle. High up on the top of the tower there glows a stunning image of the holy grail. The Minister of Funny Walks, Oliver Zink Trumpet Harris, Roger, the Shrubber and a loaded up african swallow (the record keeper of the log distance flight from South Nutfield, England, to Fau Qibli, Egypt) enter the castle and fayt their peril.

The screaming of woman can be heard, then the screaming of man, shrubberies and birds. Then silence.

A woman speaks up:

Dingo: No... oh, no!! Bad, *bad* Zoot! You forgot again the light in the chamber! Next time you tell me earlier that someone fell for it! Oh, wicked, bad, *naughty* Zoot!


Actions:

{table=head]Nr.|Player Name|Picked Role|Action
1 | DD the Cookiemonster | The second Spanish Inquisition (Surprise Squad) | Timout -Shoot air
2 | Wolfbane | Spanish Inquisition | shoot self
3 | Uncle Festy | Minister of funny Walks | Dirk Kris
4 | EagleWiz | Vorpal Bunny | Timout -Shoot air
5 | happyturtle | Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch | shoot self
6 | Reinholdt | light spring breeze | shoot self
7 | Lord Herman | French Guard | shoot self
8 | Mordokai | unholy Grail | shoot self
9 | Thanatos 51-50 | time traveling dashing swordsman | Timout -Shoot air
10 | Dirk Kris | wicked evil naughty Zoot | shoot self
11 | banjo1985 | Oliver Zinc-Trumpet Harris | shoot Dirk Kris
12 | Destro Yersul | Death | shoot self
13 | TwoBitWriter | Sir Galahad the Chaste | Shoot Shadow
14 | Shadow | Black Knight | Shoot TwoBitWriter
15 | Fin | Vicious bunny | Timout -Shoot air
16 | deathslayer7 | unladden Swallow | shoot self
17 | Mustiado | Bard and Cronies | Timout -Shoot air
18 | Hyozo | Parrot | shoot self
19 | evnafets | Knight of Ni | shoot self
20 | Nychta | Roger the Shrubber | shoot Dirk Kris
21 | Inigo Montoya | loaded up African Swallow | shoot Dirk Kris
22 | Crimmy | O, Tim | Shoot sky
23 | Fleeing Coward | Sir Robin | Shoot Air
24 | Dr. Bath | deadly Coconut | Timout -Shoot air
[/table]

The remaining player for round 2:

DD the Cookiemonster
EagleWiz
Thanatos 51-50
Dirk Kris
Fin
Mustiado
Crimmy
Fleeing Coward
Dr. Bath
[B]
Please send in your actions in the next 72 hours.

Following players are in danger of autolynch:

DD the Cookiemonster
EagleWiz
Thanatos 51-50
Fin
Mustiado
Dr. Bath

[Deathslayer7]

the people who didnt send in actions are the ones who survived. How ironic.

[Reinholdt]

Wow. A lot of people after Dirk.

And hehe. It seems Zar had to kill me by denying my existence. :smalltongue:
It was pretty funny though. "Suddenly a vicious and murderous light spring breeze flews along and chokes them to death..." :smallbiggrin:

Oh well. One of these days I'll make some odd choice and go all the way to the top! The top I tell ya!

[Zar Peter]

Wow. A lot of people after Dirk.

And hehe. It seems Zar had to kill me by denying my existence. :smalltongue:
It was pretty funny though. "Suddenly a vicious and murderous light spring breeze flews along and chokes them to death..." :smallbiggrin:

Oh well. One of these days I'll make some odd choice and go all the way to the top! The top I tell ya!

If it wasn't Monty Python I think I wouldn't know how to kill a light spring breeze... maybe through a thunderstorm :smallbiggrin:

[Uncle Festy]

BLARG I ARE DEADEDED
<.<
Nice narration. :smallbiggrin:

[Nychta]

Wow. A lot of people after Dirk.

And hehe. It seems Zar had to kill me by denying my existence. :smalltongue:
It was pretty funny though. "Suddenly a vicious and murderous light spring breeze flews along and chokes them to death..." :smallbiggrin:

Oh well. One of these days I'll make some odd choice and go all the way to the top! The top I tell ya!
I have absolutely no idea why I wanted to go after Dirk.

It just happened.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Damnit, ment to PM twice but gitp wouldn't let me.

Eh, I suppose it worked out for me though.

[Dirk Kris]

((What can I say? I guess people just hate me. Tee hee.))

Zoot emerges from a bedroom in Castle Anthrax. Behind her, before the door closes, one can see Dingo tied up and gagged on the bed. Zoot smiles, smoothes down her hair, and greets the newcomers.
"So sorry about that little mess. There is no grail here, but we do have a grail-shaped beacon. Perhaps that is what you saw. My apologies. But please, stay for the bathing, the spanking, and the oral-" Zoot coughs and is unable to finish her sentence.

[Crimmy]

*Tim runs by, invisible, and being chased down by monks and priests, while setting a line of fireworks into fire.*
-Whohooo, I'm Invincible-- I mean, I'm Invisible!!

[Shadow]

Galahad rolls on the ground and passes the Black Knight. The Black Knight start’s rolling, too, chasing Galahad into the setting sun.Well played TwoBit.... well played indeed.
NONE SHALL PASS!

[Zar Peter]

END OF ROUND 3

(If the forums don't eat it)

The evil and naughty Zoot was locked up in her room. Dingo didn’t want her to get the man alone. Two guards were posted outside of the room with the strict order to let nobody in. They didn’t get any order what to do when someone appears in the room…

Zoot: Oh! Wow! Where… where do you come from?

Thanatos: Oh well, I was time traveling a bit as an nasty autumn breeze distracted me… I stopped to look but I must have lost the track… do you know where I am?

Zoot: I think you are exactly at the right place… that’s an amazing thing you have here… and it grows so fast…

Thanatos: That’s an antenna. Don’t touch it, I will need it.

Zoot: Oh, come on! Don’t be a sissy! I’m careful with your growing stuff… and what’s this beyond? Two balls… I squeeze them a little…

Thanatos: Noooo! Not! That’s…

TIME MACHINE: THANK YOU FOR SQUEEZING THE TWO SELF-DESTRUCTION BALLS. SELF DESTRUCTION TAKES PLACE IN TWO.. ONE…

BOOOM

* * *

1’st Peasant: Hey, what’s that rotting up there?

2’nd Peasant: Itf a kokont

1’st Peasant: What?

2’nd Peasant: A Kokont

1’st Peasant: I don’t understand you. What is this?

2: [Takes out his pipe] It’s a coconut!

1’st Peasant: Ahhh… and why is it rotting?

2’nd Peasant: I don’t know, I’m just smoking my pipe. I didn’t expect the spanish inquisition.

1’st inquisitor: No one expect’s the spanish inquisition! Our weapons are Surprise, Bacon and Eggs and our red tophats.

1’st Peasant: What do you mean tophats?

1’st inquisitor : Well obviously for disguise! Nobody would suspect us for being spanish if we had Bacon and Eggs and wear tophats!

2’nd inquisitor: But what is our third and main weapon then?

3’s inquisitor : Our third and mean...maan...mian...How the holy Papa do you pronounce this? Maon? Moan?

1’s inquisitor: On with the charges! On with the charges! Bring your dead! Oh wait... Different scene... Bring forth the accused!

1’st Peasant: It’s a rotting coconut!

1’st inquisitor: A coconut? Well, how does it plead?

2’nd Peasant: I thnk is glty!

1’st inquisitor: What?

2’nd Peasant: I thnk is glty!!!

1’st inquisitor: What?

2: [Takes out his pipe] I think it is guilty! And you all should wash your ears!

2’nd inquisitor: Hey! That isn't in the script we got!

1’st inquisitor: I know! But I can’t make a coconut say that Edward Cullens is shiny!

2’nd inquisitor: Err ok, well the coconut is guilty of numerous... heresies… against the lord… mainly by rotting in the sun…

3’s inquisitor : Ah well, let us cut it from the tree and be with it. I can hear the next call!

1’st inquisitor: Ok [He pulls out a machete from his robe and cuts the coconut from the tree]

* * *

Sir Robin and his Bar are riding through the Wasteland. Suddenly they see a Fireball at the horizon. As they come closer they can make out an old man casting Fire.

Sir Robin: What manner of man are you that can conjure up fire without flint or tinder?

Tim: I’m an enchanter.

Sir Robin: By what name are you known?

Tim: There are some who call me Tim?

Sir Robin: Greetings Tim the Enchanter!

Tim: Greetings Sir Robin!

Sir Robin: You know my name?

Tim: I do. And I know your deepest secret!

[Does another fire trick and kills the bard with it]

Sir Robin: Thank you very much! You don’t accidently know the remain of the holy grail?

Tim: Try it in the castle of Aaaaaaggghhh.

Sir Robin: Thank you very much. Bye!

Tim: Bye

* * *

Two vicious bunnies are sitting towards each other in front of the cave of Caerbannog.

1’st Bunny: This cave is too small for two of us! Come on. Let’s fight this out! Shoot!

The 2’nd Bunny is sitting.

1’st Bunny: Hey! You! I’m talking to you! Fight with me!

The 2’nd Bunny is still sitting.

1’st : Are you death! Hello! Here I am! Wake up! BUNNY!

The 2’nd Bunny is sitting.

1’st: Alright. I have the first shot.

[The first bunny takes out a gun and fires on the sitting opponent. Unfortunately he misses but the bunny falls over anyway]

1’st: Oh… you ARE dead yet… didn’t notice… sorry…

* * *

Actions:

{table=head]Nr.|Player|Role|Action
1 | DD the Cookiemonster | The second Spanish Inquisition (Surprise Squad) | Shoot Dr. Bath
4 | EagleWiz | Vorpal Bunny | Shoot Air
9 | Thanatos 51-50 | time traveling dashing swordsman | Shoot Dirk Kris
10 | Dirk Kris | wicked evil naughty Zoot | Shoot Thanatos
15 | Fin | Vicious bunny | Time out - Death
17 | Mustiado | Bard and Cronies | Shoot Crimmy
22 | Crimmy | O, Tim | Shoot self
23 | Fleeing Coward | Sir Robin | Shoot Air
24 | Dr. Bath | deadly Coconut | Time out - Death[/table]

Still alive:

DD the Cookiemonster
EagleWiz
Crimmy
Fleeing Coward

Please send in your actions till Monday, I'm not here on the weekend.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Even if you didn't totally use script, but just idea'd of them. Awesome.

I'm still alive, in round 3. Awesome.

[Crimmy]

Jeez, I though it was gonna be my last action...

[Zar Peter]

Sorry for the late update, Forums slowed me and my imagination, too.

Anyway, here it is:


END OF ROUND 3

The second spanish inquisition, headquaters.
Cardinal Ximinez II is sitting in a comfy chair, obviously nervous. After a few minutes he stands up. Cardinal Biggles II and Cardinal Fang II, who were sitting on two very uncomfy wooden chairs are standing up, too.

CX II: Boys, that’s it! We take a day off.

CB II: A day off? But… we are the spanish inquisition! Nobody expects us to take a day off!

CX II: See! We are the surprise squad! We must do what nobody expects!

CF II: But… if everyone expects that we do something unexpected… and we do something unexpedted… isn’t then our doing that what everyone expected?

CX II: What?

CF II: Well, we are doing what everyone expects from us by doing something unexpected.

CX II: You mean… we should do something everyone expects from us to surprise everyone?

CF II: Yes… I think that’s what I mean… but I’m not sure…

CX II: You can think about it on your day off. And now… off you go! Today everybody totally expects the spanish inquisition so we won’t show off at all!

* * *

Somewhere in the plains… an old man shoots Fireballs into the sky…

Tim: Oh man is this boring. No knight out there to help with his task… and I expected the Spanish Inquisition today but it seems it will be late… I think I go search the grail myself. Can’t be hard to find, a holy pot attracts attention for sure.

* * *

Sir Robin rode along a ridge. Suddenly a bunny appeared, ran towards him, jumped… and missed. The bunny flew off the mountains into a deep gorge.

Robin: What was that? A bunny? Must have had a Lemming as ancestor. Now I wish I had my bard by my side, he could rhyme a song about how I beat this enourmos monster and…

Sir Robin couldn’t talk any further because a foot came out of the sky and stomped him to death.

God: Thou shallt not brag!


Actions:

{table=head]Nr.|Player|Role|Action
1 | DD the Cookiemonster | The second Spanish Inquisition (Surprise Squad) | shoot air
4 | EagleWiz | Vorpal Bunny | shoot self
22 | Crimmy | O, Tim | shoot air
23 | Fleeing Coward | Sir Robin | shoot self
[/table]

Well, two left means the game ends next round. DD and Crimmy, I expect your actions soon.

[Zar Peter]

Well, I'm late again, sorry...


END OF THE GAME

A beach in the sun. Three sunshades, beneath them lying three red cloacked men.

Cardinal Ximenez: Ah… holidays! I never expected that’s this relaxing. We should do this more often.

Cardinal Fang: But Boss! We’re lying here for over a week. What if someone doesn’t expect us? We have to be prepared. That’s our main weapon. Being prepared. And fast. Our two main weapons. Being preapared and fast. And our devotion to the pope… three main weapons….

Ximenez: STOP! Not again. We need holidays, and what would be better than taking a brake in the hot sun of the holiy land. And look what a nice mug I found yesterday. Isn’t it shiny?

Biggles: Isn’t that the cup of a carpenter? Hahaha… would be crazy if we found the holy grail by incidence.

Suddenly the sorcerer Tim appears, shoots some fireballs into the air, and as he gets aware of the holy grail he shoots the spanish inquisition and takes it.

Tim: Hah! The holy Grail! Finally it’s mine. But I really didn’t expect the spanish inquisition.

Ximenez (dying): No-one expects the aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh…..


Actions:

DD the Cookiemonster aka The Spanish Inquisition II: Shoot Air
Crimmy aka O'Tim: Shoot DD

And the winner of RAF Classic XXII is

CRIMMY

Congratulations, you won the holy grail...

http://www.integratechange.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/1indy-idol-holy-grail.jpg

[Reinholdt]

There are those who call him...
Win.

[Crimmy]

There are those who call him...
Win.

This goes into my sig, along with the Holy Grail.

Geeze, I never thought that action would get me to win. Really.

I thought DD would shoot self.

Anyway, everyone, great game.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Geeze, I never thought that action would get me to win. Really.

I thought DD would shoot self.

Anyway, everyone, great game.
This, except replace DD with Crimmy.

[Crimmy]

Hehehehehhee. Well, I also assumed you would study my moves and try to get me auto killed.

[Moff Chumley]

In as Spam.
:smallbiggrin:

Keep in mind, this is my first WW, so bear with me.

It said April 20th, didn't it. Not May 20th, f'rinstance? Definitely April 20th?

Bugger...

[evnafets]

In as Spam.
:smallbiggrin:

Keep in mind, this is my first WW, so bear with me.


New secret award unlocked:
Sign up to play after the game is completed

[Zar Peter]

In as Spam.
:smallbiggrin:

Keep in mind, this is my first WW, so bear with me.

It said April 20th, didn't it. Not May 20th, f'rinstance? Definitely April 20th?

Bugger...

:smallbiggrin:

Erm... and this isn't a WW game... but you are welcome to sign up to the next RAF game (which will probably start after my next DnD session end of May).

[Dallas-Dakota]

Hehehehehhee. Well, I also assumed you would study my moves and try to get me auto killed.
You were mistaken, in assuming that I´d study.....