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View Full Version : Character Concept: Grilled and Basted D&D-born Playboy



Zaq
2009-04-16, 04:24 AM
Major, major kudos to anyone who gets the reference without Google and/or Wikipedia. If you don't get the reference, don't worry, it's not crucial to the concept.

Anyway, so I'm envisioning a character like so. He was raised on the stories of great heroes, spending countless hours poring over the great books of tales, listening to every bard he could convince to spin a yarn, greedily devouring it all. The kicker? He's absolutely married to the conventions. He wants nothing so badly as to be just like the heroes from his beloved tales, and he feels he knows exactly what it means to be a legendary hero. All quests must start in the tavern. The vizier/chancellor/adviser will, and indeed MUST, betray the appropriate monarch. There is no form of "legitimate authority" higher than the rightful heir to the deposed king. In short, he's a walking cliche, but he genuinely believes the cliches are right.

For example, if the BBEG were to deliver only a brief or otherwise unsatisfactory bit of banter before the confrontation, he would gladly interrupt and explain that there really needs to be more maniacal laughter and offer some tips about a proper villainous monologue, even doing it himself if he needed to. If he has no love interest to tearfully beg him not to risk his life on the daring and heroic quest, he'll hire someone (perhaps a prostitute) to play the role, loudly and in public. Similarly, if no one actually cares about him enough to serve as a cocky rival, he'll likewise hire someone to act the part, because ALL the great heroes have cocky rivals. You see where I'm going with this? Not only is he essentially a cliche made flesh, but he will actively go out of his way to enforce these cliches because he seriously believes that it's the right thing to do, that it's the ONLY thing to do.

Now, here's the question, which is funnier, if he's a bard, or if he's anything but a bard? I think that this is a humorous (and artistically interesting from a post-modern perspective, if you're comfortable slinging around terms like "post-modern" to discuss D&D. I won't blame you if you're not; I feel kind of silly saying this myself.) character concept as it is, but it changes dramatically depending on whether he's a bard or not. A bard could devote his life to the conventions of the genre, to be sure, and try to enforce them in his own life, but he'd certainly be aware that they are in fact conventions (rather than, say, immutable laws of nature), and on some level he would know what he was doing. He would be actively trying to turn the world into the world of his tales. On the other hand, a non-bard acting like this would be doing so perhaps because he simply doesn't get that the world doesn't work this way. He's not necessarily stupid, gullible, or slow-witted, but he simply doesn't get that the stories are stories and not reality (or that not all of the stories have to fit the cliches perfectly). In some ways the bard is more interesting, and in some ways the non-bard is more interesting. Given the personality I've outlined, which is funnier, more interesting, more intellectually and artistically engaging, more fun to play with? A bard or a non-bard? Why?

I should remind you that though this is a humorous character concept, I wouldn't play it as a silly character. It's a subtle distinction, but a very important one. I hold that it would be entirely possible (and indeed a lot of fun, both for me and for the rest of the table) to play this character without being an out-and-out clown about it. Anyway, bearing that in mind, what do you think? Bard or non-bard?

Dixieboy
2009-04-16, 04:29 AM
Not bard, probably warrior or some other guy who can wield a sword to great effect.
Since the BBEG is always slain with a sword, and he would need heavy armor prof to wear shining plate armor.

Tempest Fennac
2009-04-16, 04:31 AM
I can imagine someone like that as being hellbent with being as self-sufficient as possible due to great heroes typically being able to do a lot of things on their own. Crusader would fit (the cliches could be he's ideal), and I can imagine the character being quite flashy, so Duskblade and Warblade would fit here. Admittedly, looking at the big picture, I'd say Bard would be the best class due to how they are more likely to study this sort of thing (and Bardic Knowledge would fit his background).

Thanatos 51-50
2009-04-16, 04:38 AM
Non-Bard, and very definatly of a martial bent.

If you're playing 4e, play a Paladin who worships "Stories" (Avandara for mechanical purposes) or a Fighter. Its all about the Plate Armour, One-handed sword and study shield.

If you're playing 3.x - I'd... play a Rogue. I don't have the ToB or any neat martial classes to hand you.

Also, I believe he should steadfastly refuse any non-glowy sowrd, and if forced to use a non-glowy (or aflame) sword, cover them in some sort of alchemical powder that makes them glow.
Because the hero's sword is always glowy.
Or on fire.

Always.

Zaq
2009-04-16, 04:49 AM
Thank you all for your input, but I fear you're missing the point somewhat. He doesn't have to be a platemail-and-pointy-stick guy to be a legendary hero. There are plenty of tales about other types, after all. (I do love your suggestion about the glowy sword, though, Thanatos.) Indeed, in some ways it's funnier if he isn't an especially martial type, because he'd play himself up to be one anyway. (And no, that doesn't mean wearing full plate without proficiencies and all that. There are other ways of doing these things.) While image is crucial to him, that image doesn't have to be of a BSF. He's more focused on interactions, after all. Just to stick to the examples I already used, the villainous monologue, the crying love interest, the cocky rival. What matters is how people interact with him (and how he expects them to interact with him) more than what his BAB is or how close to the front line he chooses to fight.

Basically what I'm asking is this. Is it more interesting and funnier to have a bard imposing tales on reality, or to have a non-bard not grasping the difference between tales and reality?

arguskos
2009-04-16, 04:55 AM
Not-bard, all the way. I find the idea of someone listening to the tales about the man who had everything, lost it to a cackling evil wizard, found, lost, and re-found love, and triumphed over everything in the end by being persistent and deciding that he wanted that life too and so he made it happen more amusing and interesting than a bard who got a little TOO absorbed into his own stories.

Quincunx
2009-04-16, 05:00 AM
Non-bard. Bards who are hired to sing tales of the heroes' derring-do (and, in the average campaign setting, what else are they used for?) have an implied disinterest or disbelief in the propaganda they're singing. Also: Don Quixote. Take notes on how to make the rest of the group follow you loyally like Sancho Panza instead of knifing you in your rest in the Most Common Inn Name in the Country wayside tavern.

Dhavaer
2009-04-16, 05:40 AM
Bard/Warblade, emphasis on the Warblade.

Radar
2009-04-16, 06:45 AM
Non-bard IMO. I would even see him as a sorcerer - some inherent super-natural powers would support his idea of reality. As a kid he belived in those legends, stories and such and wished to be a hero himself - as almost everyone at some age. Then one day he discovered, that he has some special hidden powers - he is destined to be a hero, yay! Hero stories are so true!

Dacia Brabant
2009-04-16, 06:46 AM
An NPC class, probably Aristocrat but Warrior could work, with a couple of amusing flaws, a riding horse, heavy armor, shield, sword and lance, and the Leadership feat at 6th with a fat cynical cohort. Max out his Con and Cha, minimize his Wis (if possible get it down to a 3 or 4), and about average in everything else. His skill ranks should mostly be in Knowledges: Dungeoneering, History, Local and Nobility/Royalty seem the most likely.

Of course this isn't the reference that you're going for (I missed it, sorry) but I think it'd be pretty amusing nonetheless.

Sparafucile
2009-04-16, 08:56 AM
If image and adherence to cliche are important to him, how about a Beguiler? If people aren't living up to their cliched roles, you just...make them. This makes it more-than-normally tricky for him to play himself up as a martial hero, but it's not impossible.

Tiki Snakes
2009-04-16, 07:51 PM
Non Bard. For 4th, I'd reccomend Swordmage, or whatever the heck they are called, from the forgotten realms book. Something similarly gishy would be good, whichever edition though.

As for the WHY of it all? Forget the 'he's a bit slow' or 'he's creating his own legend'.

Go the Terry Pratchett, Witches of Lancre route. There is Power in Stories. By making the world conform to the story, he bends events to his will. By making it all follow the right shape and form, he actually influences events, makes his victory both inevitable and epic. He makes himself an immortal warrior, who can defeat impossible odds, by taking that role in the first place.

He'd feel more comfortable facing two dozen well armed warriors on his own, than he would fighting a lone peasant. Because that's the way stories work. Give him impossible odds, and the hero HAS to win. etc etc.

See Witches Abroad, Last Hero, and so on.

Flickerdart
2009-04-16, 08:05 PM
He'd feel more comfortable facing two dozen well armed warriors on his own, than he would fighting a lone peasant. Because that's the way stories work. Give him impossible odds, and the hero HAS to win. etc etc.
But when it's a sure thing (such as Carrot v. Cohen) he'll back down and try to convince his party to do the same, which is where he needs the exorbitant CHA. Even better if he's a Telepath, which fulfils the "innate power" requirement and also lets him impose his will on others. He could even be Evil, and still think of himself as the hero. Thrallherd seems like a logical choice for the character, after his Leadership cohort and followers ditch him for being ridiculous.

Kobold_Love
2009-04-16, 08:22 PM
Did someone say Grilled and Basted D&D-born Playboy Bunnies?!

...
......

No?.........

OK, read the OP post. I love this idea. Simply wonderful.

My favorite part was the interrupting the BBEG's monologue part.

Personally, I picture this character as being a straight fighter. Wielding a sword and perhaps owning a metal helmet with horns. Maybe a bit buff to boot?

Dragonmuncher
2009-04-16, 10:16 PM
I find it really odd that everyone is adamant about this character not being a bard, thinking that any bard would be sure to know that genre conventions are just that, conventions.

I mean, if The Giant wanted to, Elan could very easily have become the character you're describing (he already does stuff like wear an eyepatch to be a mysterious bodyguard, jump away from explosions at the last minute, dress Roy up as a mysteeeeeeeeerious stranger in a tavern to attract attention (Origin of PCs)- heck, his PrC is designed to take advantage of such conventions!)

Anyway, I think you could do this concept with any character. You could go the Terry Pratchett-barbarian route, where the skinny, asthmatic kid is learning everything he knows about barbarian hero-ing from a book.

You could have a ranger who was just tending sheep with his pet dog, who spent the days reading stories of adventure in the fields, and then finally went, "Screw this, Poochy! We're gonna go out and became FAMOUS!"

You could have the bookish wizard, who always wanted to win the Big Game and Get The Girl, but was too scrawny. Now, though... he can shoot lightning from his fingers. But he's still a bit socially inept, so he takes his cues from the stories.

The rogue... hm. Rogue might be a bit difficult. Ah! Set him up as a swashbuckling type, maybe like Elan's Dashing Swordsman, or maybe a cocky "Treasure Hunter" like Locke from Final Fantasy 6.