The Demented One
2006-08-17, 07:31 PM
Aganazzer's Ready Light
Evocation: Fire
Level: Bard 0, Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 swift action
Range: Touch
Target: Cigar, pipe, or similar touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell immediately lights a single cigar, pipe, or similar smokeable. The heat it produces is not enough to deal any damage.
Material Components:
A pinch of soot.
Barlen's Pinching Claws
Transmutation
Level: Bard 0, Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You make a touch attack against your target. If you succeed, it feels a crab-like pinching, and takes 1d3 points of damage. This is especially distracting if he was in the middle of casting a spell. The damage dealt is treated as being 3 higher for determing the DC of the Concentration check to avoid losing the spell.
Material Component:
The freshly steamed claw of a crab, consumed during the casting of the spell.
Bigby’s Floating Finger
Evocation [Force]
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell creates an immobile, floating, medium-size hand of force that immediately begins giving a rude gesture to all enemies. Any enemy that sees the hand must make a Will save or be forced to attack in preference to you or your allies. It does not have to attack the hand, but it may not attack you or your allies until the hand is destroyed or its duration runs out. It takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 10 and 1 hp per caster level. The hand automatically fails all saves. Disintegrate or a successful dispel magic destroys it.
Bigby's Obscene Gesture of Disrespect
Level: Bard 2, Sorcerer/Wizard 3
Duration: 1 minute/level (D)
This spell functions as Bigby's Floating Finger except that you may move the hand 10 ft. as a move action. In addition, the hand has an AC or 20 (+10 natural), has 5 hp per caster level, and makes saving throws as its caster.
Kelgore's Luminous Lightbulb
Conjuration and Evocation (Creation) [Light]
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Floating lightbulb
Duration: 1 hour/level
This spell conjures a glowing glass sphere, which shines as a torch and orbits your head, much like an ioun stone. In addition, as a move action, you may attempt a DC 15 Intelligence check to double the range of the sphere's light for 1d6 rounds.
Leomund's Instant Alehouse
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Probably responsible for all the other spells detailed here, this spell functions as Leomund's Secure Shelter, except as above and that the building created is neither protected by arcane lock nor alarm and is not staffed by unseen servants. It is, however, stocked with five kegs of ale. The ale reverts to lukewarm water if removed from the instant alehouse.
Material Component:
A mug full of ale. The ale created by the spell is of the some kind the mug is filled with.
Leomund's Pet Shelter
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S
Effect: 5 square ft. structure
Originally developed to house a young Leomund's familiar, this spell functions as Leomund's Secure Shelter, except as above and that the building created is neither protected by arcane lock nor alarm and is not staffed by unseen servants.
Leomund's Transitory Latrine
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Bard 0, Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: One latrine
Duration: 1 min./level
This spell creates a small, wooden latrine of the "pilot and copilot" variety, with a suitably sized hole and a seat back in it. This latrine may be used for exactly was it was intended to be used for. At the end of its duration, the latrine and any waste matter in it dissipate, but any items or creatures that may be in the latrine are unaffected.
Melf’s Acid Trip
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 40 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No
This spell creates a cone of acid (not the “AHH MY FACE!” kind, the “Let’s listen to Pink Floyd” kind). All creatures caught in it must save or become fascinated, as the hypnotism spell.
Material Component:
25 gp worth of hallucenogenic substances.
Mordenkainen's Faithful Hamster
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S, M
Effect: Phantom hamster
Duration: 1 minute/caster level or until discharged, then 1 round/caster level; see text
This spell functions as Mordenkainen's faithful hound, except as above and as follows. The hamster only reacts to creatures that come within 10 ft. of it, is incapable of seeing invisible or ethereal creatures, reacts to figments as if they were real, and squeaks alarmedly, rather than barks. It may only attack creatures in its space. The hamster has a +1 attack bonus and deals 1d4 points of piercing damage.
Material Component:
A bottle of water, a handful of hamster pellets, and a spinning wheel.
Mordenkainen's Mystic Mumbo-Jumbo
Universal
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 30 ft.
Area: 30 ft. radius burst, centered on you
Duration: See text
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Yes
This amazingly random spell unleashes a nova of energy. For each creature in the area of the spell, roll 1d100 to see how it is affected, any saves the effect allows, and the duration of the effect.
{table]
Roll
Effect
Duration
Save
1-15Turned a random color of the caster's choice1 hour/levelWill negates
16-25Marked with caster's arcane markPermanentWill negates
26-35Charmed1 hour/levelWill negates
36-45Falls asleep1 minute/levelWill negates
46-55Stunned1 roundFortitude negates
56-65Confused1 roundWill negates
66-75Takes on appearance of race most hated by target1 hour/levelFortitude negates
76-80Loses ability to speak CommonPermanentWill negates
81-85Gender becomes opposite of what it wasPermanentFortitude negates
86-90Blinded1 round/levelWill negates
91-95Deafened1 round/levelWill negates
96-99Paralyzed1 round/levelWill negates
100Reduced to 0 hpInstantaneousFortitude negates
[/table]
Nybor's Insistent Reminder
Transmutation
Level: Bard 0, Sorc/Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Paper touched
Duration: Permament
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell inscribes a single reminder, no longer than 2 words/level, on a sheet of paper. Whenever the information stored in the reminder becomes critical for the caster to recall, the reminder levitates in front of his face, as long as it remains in the caster's possession.
Otiluke’s Irresistible Daughter
Transmutation
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Duration: 1 minute/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)
This spell perfects its target’s face and body, working them into a thing of beauty. The target gains a +10 circumstance bonus on all Charisma-based skill checks made to influence creatures of the opposite gender. This bonus increases to +20 at caster level 5th and +30 at caster level 9th.
Ottiluke's Irresistible Daughter counters and dispels Tasha's Hideous Figure.
Material Components:
10 gp worth of make-up.
Otiluke’s Resonating Smackdown
Evocation [Force]
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 5
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: One creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex partial
Spell Resistance: No
You make a touch attack, bitch-slapping your target. If you succeed, it takes unarmed strike damage, is knocked back 5 ft. per caster level, and is knocked prone. If it succeeds, the distance it is knocked back is halved and it is not knocked prone.
Focus:
A black leather glove, worn on the hand used to deliver the bitch-slap.
Rary's Telepathic John
Divination
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One latrine, toilet, or similar
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: No
This poorly thought out spell grants a single latrine, commode, or similar to telepathically communicate with any creature that sits on it. The toilet does not receive any mental scores, leaving its communication abilities similar to those of a rock that the stone tell spell used to speak with--that is to say, not much. Sitting on a telepathic toilet is a somewhat disturbing event, and any creature that uses it must make a Will save or be shaken for 1d10 minutes after.
Rary's Telepathic Lawn
Divination
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One lawn no larger than 25 square feet per level
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This ill-conceived spell permanently grants a single lawn the ability to telepathically communicate with any creature within 100 ft. of it. It does this non-stop. The lawn does not receive any mental scores, leaving its communication abilities similar to those of a rock that the stone tell spell used to speak with--that is to say, not much. Because the lawn's persistent telepathy is so annoying, all casters within the range of its telepathy are distracted and must make a DC 15 Concentration check to cast any spells.
Material Component:
Three pounds of fertilizer mixed with the ground-up tentacles of an Illithid.
Simbul's Dice of Decimation
Evocation
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 4
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Dice which store spells
Duration: 10 minutes/level
Upon casting this spell, you may cast a spell into the die used as the focus of this spell. It must be a spell that has variable, numeric effects. As a standard action, you may cast the spell out the die. Doing so functions just like casting the spell normally, but all variable, numeric effects of the spell are maximized. Only you may cast the spell from the die.
Focus:
A die carved from the bones of a Slaad, worth 100 gp.
Tasha’s Hideous Figure
Transmutation
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Duration: 1 minute/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell mars its target’s face and body, twisting them into a thing of wretched ugliness. The target takes a -10 penalty on all Charisma-based skill checks made to influence creatures of the opposite gender. This penalty increases to -20 at caster level 5th and -30 at caster level 9th.
Tasha's Hideous Figure counters and dispels Ottiluke's Irresistible Daughter.
Material Component:
10 gp worth of make-up dissolved in a vial of acid.
Tasha's Instant War Zone
Enchantment (Compulsion, Mind-Affecting)
Level: Bard 6, Sorcerer/Wizard 6
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Targets: 1 creature/level
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell incites a deep-seated rage in its targets. Those who fail their saves gain a +6 morale bonus to Strength and may make a single extra attack at their highest base attack bonus when making a full attack. However, they take a -4 penalty to AC and take 2 points of nonlethal damage each round. Finally, they lose the ability to tell friend from foe. Instead, each round, they must attack the creature closest to them, excepting their own familiar or similar companion, deciding which creature to attack randomly if their are multiple creatures equidistant from them.
Tasha's Sarcastic Messenger
Enchantment (Mind-Affecting, Language Dependant)
Level: Bard 2, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature or object
Duration: Permanent until discharged
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell imbues the chosen object or creature with an enchanted mouth that suddenly appears and viciously taunts the next creature to touch the object. The taunted creature must make A DC 13 Cha check to come up with a sufficiently witty retort. If he fails, he takes 1d6 points of Cha damage.
Material Component:
The tongue of a being with Cha 13 or greater, dissolved in 10 gp worth of acid.
Evocation: Fire
Level: Bard 0, Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 swift action
Range: Touch
Target: Cigar, pipe, or similar touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell immediately lights a single cigar, pipe, or similar smokeable. The heat it produces is not enough to deal any damage.
Material Components:
A pinch of soot.
Barlen's Pinching Claws
Transmutation
Level: Bard 0, Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You make a touch attack against your target. If you succeed, it feels a crab-like pinching, and takes 1d3 points of damage. This is especially distracting if he was in the middle of casting a spell. The damage dealt is treated as being 3 higher for determing the DC of the Concentration check to avoid losing the spell.
Material Component:
The freshly steamed claw of a crab, consumed during the casting of the spell.
Bigby’s Floating Finger
Evocation [Force]
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Magical hand
Duration: 1 round/level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell creates an immobile, floating, medium-size hand of force that immediately begins giving a rude gesture to all enemies. Any enemy that sees the hand must make a Will save or be forced to attack in preference to you or your allies. It does not have to attack the hand, but it may not attack you or your allies until the hand is destroyed or its duration runs out. It takes damage as a normal creature, but most magical effects that don’t cause damage do not affect it. The hand has an AC of 10 and 1 hp per caster level. The hand automatically fails all saves. Disintegrate or a successful dispel magic destroys it.
Bigby's Obscene Gesture of Disrespect
Level: Bard 2, Sorcerer/Wizard 3
Duration: 1 minute/level (D)
This spell functions as Bigby's Floating Finger except that you may move the hand 10 ft. as a move action. In addition, the hand has an AC or 20 (+10 natural), has 5 hp per caster level, and makes saving throws as its caster.
Kelgore's Luminous Lightbulb
Conjuration and Evocation (Creation) [Light]
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Floating lightbulb
Duration: 1 hour/level
This spell conjures a glowing glass sphere, which shines as a torch and orbits your head, much like an ioun stone. In addition, as a move action, you may attempt a DC 15 Intelligence check to double the range of the sphere's light for 1d6 rounds.
Leomund's Instant Alehouse
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Probably responsible for all the other spells detailed here, this spell functions as Leomund's Secure Shelter, except as above and that the building created is neither protected by arcane lock nor alarm and is not staffed by unseen servants. It is, however, stocked with five kegs of ale. The ale reverts to lukewarm water if removed from the instant alehouse.
Material Component:
A mug full of ale. The ale created by the spell is of the some kind the mug is filled with.
Leomund's Pet Shelter
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S
Effect: 5 square ft. structure
Originally developed to house a young Leomund's familiar, this spell functions as Leomund's Secure Shelter, except as above and that the building created is neither protected by arcane lock nor alarm and is not staffed by unseen servants.
Leomund's Transitory Latrine
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Bard 0, Sorcerer/Wizard 0
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: One latrine
Duration: 1 min./level
This spell creates a small, wooden latrine of the "pilot and copilot" variety, with a suitably sized hole and a seat back in it. This latrine may be used for exactly was it was intended to be used for. At the end of its duration, the latrine and any waste matter in it dissipate, but any items or creatures that may be in the latrine are unaffected.
Melf’s Acid Trip
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 40 ft.
Area: Cone-shaped burst
Duration: Instantaneous, then 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: No
This spell creates a cone of acid (not the “AHH MY FACE!” kind, the “Let’s listen to Pink Floyd” kind). All creatures caught in it must save or become fascinated, as the hypnotism spell.
Material Component:
25 gp worth of hallucenogenic substances.
Mordenkainen's Faithful Hamster
Level: Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S, M
Effect: Phantom hamster
Duration: 1 minute/caster level or until discharged, then 1 round/caster level; see text
This spell functions as Mordenkainen's faithful hound, except as above and as follows. The hamster only reacts to creatures that come within 10 ft. of it, is incapable of seeing invisible or ethereal creatures, reacts to figments as if they were real, and squeaks alarmedly, rather than barks. It may only attack creatures in its space. The hamster has a +1 attack bonus and deals 1d4 points of piercing damage.
Material Component:
A bottle of water, a handful of hamster pellets, and a spinning wheel.
Mordenkainen's Mystic Mumbo-Jumbo
Universal
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 30 ft.
Area: 30 ft. radius burst, centered on you
Duration: See text
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: Yes
This amazingly random spell unleashes a nova of energy. For each creature in the area of the spell, roll 1d100 to see how it is affected, any saves the effect allows, and the duration of the effect.
{table]
Roll
Effect
Duration
Save
1-15Turned a random color of the caster's choice1 hour/levelWill negates
16-25Marked with caster's arcane markPermanentWill negates
26-35Charmed1 hour/levelWill negates
36-45Falls asleep1 minute/levelWill negates
46-55Stunned1 roundFortitude negates
56-65Confused1 roundWill negates
66-75Takes on appearance of race most hated by target1 hour/levelFortitude negates
76-80Loses ability to speak CommonPermanentWill negates
81-85Gender becomes opposite of what it wasPermanentFortitude negates
86-90Blinded1 round/levelWill negates
91-95Deafened1 round/levelWill negates
96-99Paralyzed1 round/levelWill negates
100Reduced to 0 hpInstantaneousFortitude negates
[/table]
Nybor's Insistent Reminder
Transmutation
Level: Bard 0, Sorc/Wiz 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Target: Paper touched
Duration: Permament
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This spell inscribes a single reminder, no longer than 2 words/level, on a sheet of paper. Whenever the information stored in the reminder becomes critical for the caster to recall, the reminder levitates in front of his face, as long as it remains in the caster's possession.
Otiluke’s Irresistible Daughter
Transmutation
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Duration: 1 minute/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)
This spell perfects its target’s face and body, working them into a thing of beauty. The target gains a +10 circumstance bonus on all Charisma-based skill checks made to influence creatures of the opposite gender. This bonus increases to +20 at caster level 5th and +30 at caster level 9th.
Ottiluke's Irresistible Daughter counters and dispels Tasha's Hideous Figure.
Material Components:
10 gp worth of make-up.
Otiluke’s Resonating Smackdown
Evocation [Force]
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 5
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: One creature
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex partial
Spell Resistance: No
You make a touch attack, bitch-slapping your target. If you succeed, it takes unarmed strike damage, is knocked back 5 ft. per caster level, and is knocked prone. If it succeeds, the distance it is knocked back is halved and it is not knocked prone.
Focus:
A black leather glove, worn on the hand used to deliver the bitch-slap.
Rary's Telepathic John
Divination
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One latrine, toilet, or similar
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: Will negates (see text)
Spell Resistance: No
This poorly thought out spell grants a single latrine, commode, or similar to telepathically communicate with any creature that sits on it. The toilet does not receive any mental scores, leaving its communication abilities similar to those of a rock that the stone tell spell used to speak with--that is to say, not much. Sitting on a telepathic toilet is a somewhat disturbing event, and any creature that uses it must make a Will save or be shaken for 1d10 minutes after.
Rary's Telepathic Lawn
Divination
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One lawn no larger than 25 square feet per level
Duration: Permanent
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
This ill-conceived spell permanently grants a single lawn the ability to telepathically communicate with any creature within 100 ft. of it. It does this non-stop. The lawn does not receive any mental scores, leaving its communication abilities similar to those of a rock that the stone tell spell used to speak with--that is to say, not much. Because the lawn's persistent telepathy is so annoying, all casters within the range of its telepathy are distracted and must make a DC 15 Concentration check to cast any spells.
Material Component:
Three pounds of fertilizer mixed with the ground-up tentacles of an Illithid.
Simbul's Dice of Decimation
Evocation
Level: Sorcerer/Wizard 4
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 0 ft.
Effect: Dice which store spells
Duration: 10 minutes/level
Upon casting this spell, you may cast a spell into the die used as the focus of this spell. It must be a spell that has variable, numeric effects. As a standard action, you may cast the spell out the die. Doing so functions just like casting the spell normally, but all variable, numeric effects of the spell are maximized. Only you may cast the spell from the die.
Focus:
A die carved from the bones of a Slaad, worth 100 gp.
Tasha’s Hideous Figure
Transmutation
Level: Bard 1, Sorcerer/Wizard 1
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Duration: 1 minute/level
Saving Throw: Fortitude negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell mars its target’s face and body, twisting them into a thing of wretched ugliness. The target takes a -10 penalty on all Charisma-based skill checks made to influence creatures of the opposite gender. This penalty increases to -20 at caster level 5th and -30 at caster level 9th.
Tasha's Hideous Figure counters and dispels Ottiluke's Irresistible Daughter.
Material Component:
10 gp worth of make-up dissolved in a vial of acid.
Tasha's Instant War Zone
Enchantment (Compulsion, Mind-Affecting)
Level: Bard 6, Sorcerer/Wizard 6
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Targets: 1 creature/level
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell incites a deep-seated rage in its targets. Those who fail their saves gain a +6 morale bonus to Strength and may make a single extra attack at their highest base attack bonus when making a full attack. However, they take a -4 penalty to AC and take 2 points of nonlethal damage each round. Finally, they lose the ability to tell friend from foe. Instead, each round, they must attack the creature closest to them, excepting their own familiar or similar companion, deciding which creature to attack randomly if their are multiple creatures equidistant from them.
Tasha's Sarcastic Messenger
Enchantment (Mind-Affecting, Language Dependant)
Level: Bard 2, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature or object
Duration: Permanent until discharged
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell imbues the chosen object or creature with an enchanted mouth that suddenly appears and viciously taunts the next creature to touch the object. The taunted creature must make A DC 13 Cha check to come up with a sufficiently witty retort. If he fails, he takes 1d6 points of Cha damage.
Material Component:
The tongue of a being with Cha 13 or greater, dissolved in 10 gp worth of acid.