Greatest Fanon Mary Sue ever

[Grey Paladin]

I challenge you to top this (http://narutofanon.wikia.com/wiki/Seireitou_Hyuga)

[Sholos]

Okay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elminster)

[Grey Paladin]

Elminster is not every character ever simultaneously.

[Sholos]

No, but he can beat them. Simultaneously. In his sleep. Also, your guy is dead. Elminster isn't.

[Grey Paladin]

But did he sleep with all of them, despite half of them being himself?

[Sholos]

But did he sleep with all of them, despite half of them being himself?

Huh? I'm not sure what you're referring to.

[Killersquid]

Were you the one who posted it on /tg/? Because I am laughing so hard at the thread right now.

[Grey Paladin]

Nope, just a fellow fa/tg/uy spreading The Word.

[Prime32]

That is indeed every character ever. He's a Vizard Super Saiyan 11 with a Geass, the power of a 1000-tailed fox, snakes and the Sun, and is also a time-travelling god?

[Grey Paladin]

Actually, yes.

He also controls 70% of the world's market and was reincarnated nine times - the ninth form being his dead wife.

[Killersquid]

That may be true, Prime, but can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

[Prime32]

That may be true, Prime, but can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
I think he is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[chiasaur11]

I think he is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

That does not give him understanding.

For in truth, can any of us truly know our own natures?

And if one did, would that not make pulling an all you zombies even more disgusting?

[Prime32]

That does not give him understanding.

For in truth, can any of us truly know our own natures?
He is also the Laughing Man.

[Tengu_temp]

Okay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elminster)

Elminster is a canon Marty Stu. This is about fanon.

[snoopy13a]

Mary Sue?

More like Mary Skinny:


Height 6 ft, 3 inches
Weight 121 pounds

A strong gust of wind would break him in half.

[hanzo66]

Apparently any character made by David Gonterman qualifies as an Author Insert version of this. That and whatshername of "My Immortal".

[Rogue 7]

Oy vey...wish my Naruto character had all those abilities, seeing as how he just got his arm chopped off...

But in all seriousness, is this guy having a laugh? Because this is quite possibly a parody. I'm surprised he didn't randomly get Haku's kekkei genkai for $#^*s and giggles.

[Innis Cabal]

The joys of Shonen....I can't even read that wiki without weeping

[The Glyphstone]

Yeah, I think the only well-known fanon character who can match up to this is the infamous Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way...

[Rogue 7]

The joys of Shonen....I can't even read that wiki without weeping

If you're looking for good Naruto fanfiction...I know a guy.

Well, actually, I've got a link to the TV Tropes page for their recommendations. But I can nominate a bunch of 'em.

[ZeroNumerous]

I dearly, dearly hope this is either exceptional parody or a troll of epic proportions.

[Innis Cabal]

If you're looking for good Naruto fanfiction...I know a guy.

Well, actually, I've got a link to the TV Tropes page for their recommendations. But I can nominate a bunch of 'em.

No! No, i'm cool. I'll just keep reading Bleach thanks

[Rogue 7]

You know, I have yet to read a decent, long Bleach fanfic. I've come across several good short stories and the like, but never anything of epic length. I'm disappointed in this. Which is compounded by the fact that the manga's so gorram lame right now.

[Rutskarn]

That does not give him understanding.

For in truth, can any of us truly know our own natures?

And if one did, would that not make pulling an all you zombies even more disgusting?

This is very zen.

One zen turn deserves another.

A koan:

An pupil studied with an old master on a mountainside. Every day, to fetch water, the two of them would go to the river, crossing a bed of sharp stones in the process.

The pupil noticed that, though the stones were coarse and sharp, the master always walked unshod. Sometimes, the master would trod on a stone, and would nurse his foot for a moment before continuing on.

The student asked the master, "Why is it, master, that though the path be rough and painful, you never wear your shoes?"

And the master replied, "Because I've got a nasty foot fungus, and I have to air it out."

And the pupil was enlightened.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

*opens link*

*reads half a sentence*

*eyes glaze over*

*makes cursory glance through pictures at side of page*

Okay, this is all rather frightening, and I honestly couldn't get through the first sentence. This is why I stay out of anime. And fanfiction. And fandoms other than the one I'm stuck in in general.

People are nuts.

[Rutskarn]

But if you abstain from fanfiction, you'll miss out on the glory, the pageantry, the epic storytelling of:

Half Life: Full Life Consequences! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs)

But seriously, in history, there has been precisely one fanfiction I've enjoyed non-ironically. And it's not even technically fanfiction.

Observe: the story of Donny the Moron.

http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1735

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

You make an excellent point, Rutskarn. Full Life Consequences was jovially amusing back when it was a big fad. I'm sure it is just as funny now, but I haven't opened that link in particular.

[chiasaur11]

But if you abstain from fanfiction, you'll miss out on the glory, the pageantry, the epic storytelling of:

Half Life: Full Life Consequences! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs)

But seriously, in history, there has been precisely one fanfiction I've enjoyed non-ironically. And it's not even technically fanfiction.

Observe: the story of Donny the Moron.

http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=1735

Well, if we're going for comical Half Life fanfiction, there actually was a pretty well regarded comic (hlcomic.com). Looks like it provided at least some inspiration to the animators of those excellent videos.

One of the best webcomics I've read. And it's done, so there's no obligation. Plus, Shamus Young likes it, so there's the exact reason for Rutskarn to read it as there was for many of his readers to start reading the blog.

[SurlySeraph]

I challenge you to top this (http://narutofanon.wikia.com/wiki/Seireitou_Hyuga)

Oh God, that's horrible. The author just took the abilities of a bunch of well-known shonen protagonists and gives them all to the character. And then he becomes a god and has sex with every female character. It's like raw anti-creativity. If someone finds a character that can top that, please don't let me know about it.

EDIT: And he's afraid of needles, the most cliched humanizing flaw in a powerful character ever.

EDIT EDIT: He transforms into his own wife? What the hell?

[Rutskarn]

Chiasaur: That I have read, although I wouldn't really call it fanfic.

[chiasaur11]

Chiasaur: That I have read, although I wouldn't really call it fanfic.

Fair enough.

It is good, though. And really, it all depends on definition of fanfic.

For example, could a Half-Life 2 mod be fanfic?

Okay, that was just an excuse to post a really good mod I managed to run into thanks to the British gaming press. Valve liked it so much, they bought the company! Well, the one guy who made it. Whichever.

Link goes here. (http://www.hylobatidae.org/minerva/)

(Yes, this is just a compulsive need to impress Rutskarn so as to make Phase feel bad. I'll get over it in time.)

[Dienekes]

No idea who this is, what it's supposed to be or how it relates to anime (don't touch the stuff myself) but the Inspiration section. Well, everyone in the world should read that.

[TheThan]

Ok this character I created to play in a very tongue in cheek mutants and masterminds game.


Backstory/origin

When cliché was an infant, intergalactic villains murdered Cliché’s family. These villains were trying to escape the doomed planet. But before they could, Cliché’s father managed to launch the pod in time to escape the exploding planet.

While on course for earth his space pod was bombarded by gamma radiation and cosmic rays. This damaged the space pod and instead of it crashing on land, it careened into the ocean. Where people from the city of Atlantis found the pod and discovered the child Cliché still inside.
Believing Cliché to be a godsend they named him their king. But the current king would not have a child usurper over throw him, so he banished Cliché to the surface world, where he washed up on a seemingly deserted island and was subsequently bitten by a radioactive spider. Sick and delirious he stumbled into the village of a tribe of amazon warriors who lived on the islands. The amazons too him in and healed the child. He stayed in the village and grew up as part of the amazon tribe.

Growing into a teenager among the amazons Cliché became a powerful warrior. at this time his mutant powers manifested and he spend several years learning to hone his power. Eventually wanderlust struck and he longed to venture out beyond the confines of his island home. As per the amazon’s customs cliché had to earn his freedom by defeating the strongest amazon warrior on the island. Upon winning the contest, Cliché was awarded the freedom to venture out into the world.

After leaving his home Cliché roamed the world as an adventurer for many years. Until he ended up in a large metropolitan city on the USA’s eastern seaboard. There he found a job as a news paper reporter and some time photographer. Eventually he met a beautiful woman, the two fell in love and were soon married. However tragedy struck the newlyweds. One day, they had planned a picnic in Central Park their peaceful day was shattered by gunfire. Two rival gangs had decided make Central Park their war zone. Cliché’s wife was shot dead, but cliché was unhurt due to his mutant, alien radiated and bombarded anatomy was immune to the effects of being shot. His wife died and his arms, and cliché mourned, then he raged transforming into a hulking raging monstrosity. He slaughtered the members of both gangs. He was later arrested but was let off on a technicality.

His experiences in the world and in the news paper industry lead him to long for the simple justice system the amazons used. So he made himself a costume and became a superhero to uphold protect those weaker than himself.



If I missed anything, I’m not perfect but I can probably find a way to fit it in.

[Rogue 7]

No idea who this is, what it's supposed to be or how it relates to anime (don't touch the stuff myself) but the Inspiration section. Well, everyone in the world should read that.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Can I shoot this man's puppy? Or do various and sundry other cruel and terrible things to him, just to make him give up? Would that be cruel? Because this travesty deserves it.

[Innis Cabal]

"Listen up...you can pour drinks on me, you can throw food at me...you can even spit on me. I'll just laugh that stuff off. But...good reason or not...nobody hurts a friend of mine!!!!"


You can tell he's serious because he used more then one !

[Fri]

Ok this character I created to play in a very tongue in cheek mutants and masterminds game.


Backstory/origin

When cliché was an infant, intergalactic villains murdered Cliché’s family. These villains were trying to escape the doomed planet. But before they could, Cliché’s father managed to launch the pod in time to escape the exploding planet.

While on course for earth his space pod was bombarded by gamma radiation and cosmic rays. This damaged the space pod and instead of it crashing on land, it careened into the ocean. Where people from the city of Atlantis found the pod and discovered the child Cliché still inside.
Believing Cliché to be a godsend they named him their king. But the current king would not have a child usurper over throw him, so he banished Cliché to the surface world, where he washed up on a seemingly deserted island and was subsequently bitten by a radioactive spider. Sick and delirious he stumbled into the village of a tribe of amazon warriors who lived on the islands. The amazons too him in and healed the child. He stayed in the village and grew up as part of the amazon tribe.

Growing into a teenager among the amazons Cliché became a powerful warrior. at this time his mutant powers manifested and he spend several years learning to hone his power. Eventually wanderlust struck and he longed to venture out beyond the confines of his island home. As per the amazon’s customs cliché had to earn his freedom by defeating the strongest amazon warrior on the island. Upon winning the contest, Cliché was awarded the freedom to venture out into the world.

After leaving his home Cliché roamed the world as an adventurer for many years. Until he ended up in a large metropolitan city on the USA’s eastern seaboard. There he found a job as a news paper reporter and some time photographer. Eventually he met a beautiful woman, the two fell in love and were soon married. However tragedy struck the newlyweds. One day, they had planned a picnic in Central Park their peaceful day was shattered by gunfire. Two rival gangs had decided make Central Park their war zone. Cliché’s wife was shot dead, but cliché was unhurt due to his mutant, alien radiated and bombarded anatomy was immune to the effects of being shot. His wife died and his arms, and cliché mourned, then he raged transforming into a hulking raging monstrosity. He slaughtered the members of both gangs. He was later arrested but was let off on a technicality.

His experiences in the world and in the news paper industry lead him to long for the simple justice system the amazons used. So he made himself a costume and became a superhero to uphold protect those weaker than himself.



If I missed anything, I’m not perfect but I can probably find a way to fit it in.

Awesome. Need more batman though. And bit of iron man, maybe.

[Dienekes]

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Can I shoot this man's puppy? Or do various and sundry other cruel and terrible things to him, just to make him give up? Would that be cruel? Because this travesty deserves it.

No, that would not be cruel. It seems like the reasonable, logical response. And can I help?

[Prime32]

First 200 pages out of 306 in category "Seireitou" (http://narutofanon.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Seireitou)

[TheThan]

Awesome. Need more batman though. And bit of iron man, maybe.


No problem i also fit in a little green lantern into it.


When cliché was an infant, intergalactic villains murdered Cliché’s family. These villains were trying to escape the doomed planet. But before they could, Cliché’s father managed to launch the pod in time to escape the exploding planet.

While on course for earth his space pod was bombarded by gamma radiation and cosmic rays. This damaged the space pod and instead of it crashing on land, it careened into the ocean. Where people from the city of Atlantis found the pod and discovered the child Cliché still inside.
Believing Cliché to be a godsend they named him their king. But the current king would not have a child usurper over throw him, so he banished Cliché to the surface world, where he washed up on a seemingly deserted island and was subsequently bitten by a radioactive spider. Sick and delirious he stumbled into the village of a tribe of amazon warriors who lived on the islands. The amazons too him in and healed the child. He stayed in the village and grew up as part of the amazon tribe.

Growing into a teenager among the amazons Cliché became a powerful warrior. at this time his mutant powers manifested and he spend several years learning to hone his power. Eventually wanderlust struck and he longed to venture out beyond the confines of his island home. As per the amazon’s customs cliché had to earn his freedom by defeating the strongest amazon warrior on the island. Upon winning the contest, Cliché was awarded the freedom to venture out into the world.

After leaving his home Cliché roamed the world as an adventurer for many years. Until he ended up in a large metropolitan city on the USA’s eastern seaboard. Upon entering the US he discovered he was the heir to a fortune and then became the 5th richest person in the world. While exploring his new home he stumbled upon a special ring which when activated gave him great cosmic power. But he had grown up with a desire to earn his living, so he found a job as a news paper reporter and part time photographer. Eventually he met a beautiful woman, the two fell in love and were soon married. However tragedy struck the newlyweds. One day, they had planned a picnic in Central Park their peaceful day was shattered by gunfire. Two rival gangs had decided make Central Park their war zone. Cliché’s wife was shot dead, Cliché was injured in an explosion and needed immediate medical surgery. The doctor who performed the surgery attached a mechanical device the kept shrapnel from entering his heart and killing him. After recovering cliché mourned the loss of his wife, then he raged transforming into a hulking raging monstrosity. He slaughtered the members of both gangs. He was later arrested but was let off on a technicality.

His experiences in the world and in the news paper industry lead him to long for the simple justice system the amazons used. So he made himself a costume and became a superhero to uphold protect those weaker than himself.

[Rogue 7]

First 200 pages out of 306 in category "Seireitou" (http://narutofanon.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Seireitou)

So this whole wiki is basically one dude's site for his ridiculously OTT Fanon character? Because a Naruto fanon wiki that doesn't even so much as mention Viridian's Team 8 is sorely lacking.

[Callos_DeTerran]

So this whole wiki is basically one dude's site for his ridiculously OTT Fanon character? Because a Naruto fanon wiki that doesn't even so much as mention Viridian's Team 8 is sorely lacking.

Hnnng!


...HNNNNNGH!



HNNNGGGGGKK!


I keep trying to kill the man who made that site with my mind, but I can't tell if it's working or not. :smallsigh:

And what is 'Viridian's Team 8'?

[Rogue 7]

The story's called "Team 8" and it's written by a guy who goes by "Viridian" online, but I assume that was taken when he signed up for FF.net, so he goes by S'Tark'an there.

Best damn Naruto fanfiction I've ever read. Admittedly ridiculously slow to update, but it's insanely well-written. Puts Naruto in Kiba's place under Kurenai on team 8, and subjects him to a lot of character development thanks to Kurenai actually giving a damn about Naruto's development and mental health (Kakashi's a great guy and all, but a good teacher he is not.). Fantastic characterization, awesomely well-written stuff. Ratchets the characterization of all the canon characters up tenfold.

And in an odd coincidence, one of the beta readers GMs for me in real life.

Here's (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2731239/1/Team_8) the story. Go start reading.

[Callos_DeTerran]

The story's called "Team 8" and it's written by a guy who goes by "Viridian" online, but I assume that was taken when he signed up for FF.net, so he goes by S'Tark'an there.

Best damn Naruto fanfiction I've ever read. Admittedly ridiculously slow to update, but it's insanely well-written. Puts Naruto in Kiba's place under Kurenai on team 8, and subjects him to a lot of character development thanks to Kurenai actually giving a damn about Naruto's development and mental health (Kakashi's a great guy and all, but a good teacher he is not.). Fantastic characterization, awesomely well-written stuff. Ratchets the characterization of all the canon characters up tenfold.

And in an odd coincidence, one of the beta readers GMs for me in real life.

Here's (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2731239/1/Team_8) the story. Go start reading.

Nevermind, already looked at that once and not really a fan of it.

[Saint Nil]

Seriously, I hope this is a joke.

[Dienekes]

Seriously, I hope this is a joke.

You know, I actually hope that it wasn't. One obviously insane person who writes all this seriously spending their time on such a site is no loss.

One intelligent person who spends their time writing all this humorously is a waste.

[Revlid]

Best damn Naruto fanfiction I've ever read. Admittedly ridiculously slow to update, but it's insanely well-written. Puts Naruto in Kiba's place under Kurenai on team 8, and subjects him to a lot of character development thanks to Kurenai actually giving a damn about Naruto's development and mental health (Kakashi's a great guy and all, but a good teacher he is not.). Fantastic characterization, awesomely well-written stuff. Ratchets the characterization of all the canon characters up tenfold.

See, I've read this, and while I'm a fan I don't think it's as ridiculously brilliant as some make it out to be, for a number of reasons, most prominent of which are
a) Naruto isn't Naruto in this. Naruto is a good guy, but he's brash, tactless, disrespectful of authority in any form, and pretty goddamn book-dumb. Naruto here... Isn't. To the extent that character development just doesn't cover it. And his ditching of his orange for dark green is just a move I try to ignore as much as possible.

b) Jutsu seem incredibly easy to learn/develop here.
I mean, in canon we've seen Kakashi use, what, Shadow Clones, Water Clones, Chidori/Lightning Blade, Sharigan Techs, a few Genjutsu, a few Water techniques, and one Earth Jutsu. That's about a dozen or so jutsu across an entire series, from a guy with a Sharingan.
In canon Naruto has Shadow Clones, Rasengan and its many variants, Sage Mode, and Transformation Jutsu. Call it 6 different Jutsu. From the main character.
Now, to me this suggests that Jutsu are damn tricky to learn, which is (one of many reasons) why the Sharingan is such a game-breaker.
In this fic, Naruto has (before timeskip or indeed Chuunin exams) learnt a poor-man's Chidori, a jutsu that lets you pull water out of thin air (something that's exclaimed upon in canon when a Hokage does it), an uber-dispel, and is really good at Taijutsu. He's got almost as many Jutsu at age 12 now as he does age 15 in canon, with a wider variety.
And the idea that you can just "pump more chakra" into something to get an extra effect bugs me hugely. I prefer to think it would just be mostly wasted chakra. Didn't they have, like, half-an-episode dedicated to that fact? That's what chakra control training was for, surely?

c) Kurenai's holier-than-thou attitude bugs me, but that's fine. What isn't is that she appears to be treated as inherently correct. Which is annoying in a series where the main character and his two mentors are all perverse to varying degrees.

d) Sasuke's fight with Naruto in the prelims. Just... what the hell? What? Even with the eyebrow-raising powerboost Naruto's got in this fic, that's outright stupid. One punch? I'm as irritated by the Uchiha as anyone else, but Sasuke didn't go down to Rock Lee with one goddamn punch.

e) My most petty point is that Shino has changed from "The Quiet, Overlooked Guy" in canon to a "Sesquidelian Loquaiciousness" user of Vaarsuvian levels.

f) Hyuuga Hiashi's Flanderisation from harsh-father-but-ultimately-an-honourable-guy to evil-abusive-murdering-father is... troubling.

g) On another Hyuuga point, Naruto's insta-fix for the Cursed Seal bugs the hell out of me.

All that said, it's still a damn sight better (a DAMN sight better) than most of the stuff that gets pumped out of the internet.

[Haven]

Looks like it got deleted. Shame, it sounds like a masterpiece of fail.

eta: Found it cached on google, and, wow, there's even a section that's basically "He's obvious had hundreds of girlfriends!"

[Xallace]

I can kinda read it, but either something's wrong with the formatting or my computer's slow to load. But seriously ow. My creativity centers are on overdrive right now trying to make up for this character alone. I'd almost call this madness, but I have a feeling that if I did, someone would point out that this guy is also all the Spartans.

And we don't need that quote right now.

[woodenbandman]

At least the guy admits to us and himself that the guy is a total Mary Sue and is just himself masturbating:

Inspiration

The thought of Seireitou came to me accually after a Taekwondo sparring match during my training as a red stripe (Now im a Black Belt), when i lost it but vowed that i would never be afraid in the face of adversity again. I thought of Seireitou about a year/year and a half before i joined this wiki (??/??/2008). He was first designed to be someone i could call my "Inner Ego", someone who i myself wanted to be (Except without all the cool jutsus of course). Even now, i share many simularities with him:

[Revlid]

...Even now, i share many simularities with him:

His inherent fail is palpable and vaguely amusing.

[UltraDude]

Having not read it, opinions on these things in bold.

Silly Revlid making me prioritize other fanfics over getting to this.



a) Naruto isn't Naruto in this. Naruto is a good guy, but he's brash, tactless, disrespectful of authority in any form, and pretty goddamn book-dumb. Naruto here... Isn't. To the extent that character development just doesn't cover it. And his ditching of his orange for dark green is just a move I try to ignore as much as possible.

Arghle. Hate it when writers decide to make a character not... that character without some damn good justification. Big strike against it.

b) Jutsu seem incredibly easy to learn/develop here.
I mean, in canon we've seen Kakashi use, what, Shadow Clones, Water Clones, Chidori/Lightning Blade, Sharigan Techs, a few Genjutsu, a few Water techniques, and one Earth Jutsu. That's about a dozen or so jutsu across an entire series, from a guy with a Sharingan.
In canon Naruto has Shadow Clones, Rasengan and its many variants, Sage Mode, and Transformation Jutsu. Call it 6 different Jutsu. From the main character.
Now, to me this suggests that Jutsu are damn tricky to learn, which is (one of many reasons) why the Sharingan is such a game-breaker.
In this fic, Naruto has (before timeskip or indeed Chuunin exams) learnt a poor-man's Chidori, a jutsu that lets you pull water out of thin air (something that's exclaimed upon in canon when a Hokage does it), an uber-dispel, and is really good at Taijutsu. He's got almost as many Jutsu at age 12 now as he does age 15 in canon, with a wider variety.

This! It added to the manga by forcing characters to be creative with what they already had. That was where all the fun of the Chuunin Exam Arc fights came from, IMO. Also why I like Shikamaru so much.

And the idea that you can just "pump more chakra" into something to get an extra effect bugs me hugely. I prefer to think it would just be mostly wasted chakra. Didn't they have, like, half-an-episode dedicated to that fact? That's what chakra control training was for, surely?

I know, making the brash guy with tons of chakra learn some control was another strong point.

c) Kurenai's holier-than-thou attitude bugs me, but that's fine. What isn't is that she appears to be treated as inherently correct. Which is annoying in a series where the main character and his two mentors are all perverse to varying degrees.

Would have to read it, but... sounds like the sort of character that I'd really wanna pop in the mouth if I was around them too long. I love it when the mentors turn out to not be right 100% of the time, and get called on it. Then you can even get character development for guys who would already be past it!

d) Sasuke's fight with Naruto in the prelims. Just... what the hell? What? Even with the eyebrow-raising powerboost Naruto's got in this fic, that's outright stupid. One punch? I'm as irritated by the Uchiha as anyone else, but Sasuke didn't go down to Rock Lee with one goddamn punch.

If Lee can't one-punch a guy, no one in the whole damn exam should be able to aside from a seriously Kyuubi-raging Naruto with maybe some tails out.

e) My most petty point is that Shino has changed from "The Quiet, Overlooked Guy" in canon to a "Sesquidelian Loquaiciousness" user of Vaarsuvian levels.

While he does seem smart that's probably taking it a biiiit too far. Shino being quiet makes it more noteworthy when he does talk, after all.

f) Hyuuga Hiashi's Flanderisation from harsh-father-but-ultimately-an-honourable-guy to evil-abusive-murdering-father is... troubling.

RAGE.

All that said, it's still a damn sight better (a DAMN sight better) than most of the stuff that gets pumped out of the internet.

All that said I'll get to it eventually, just not as soon as I otherwise would have.

[hanzo66]

A few "Items" in that Naruto Fanon thing set off alarms within the first 200 pages...

1. Acended Bankai
2. Gamma Ray Burst
3. Genki Dama (AKA The Spirit Bomb)
4. Reality Manipulation


Those are what I found to be very very not-good. I'm sure I'll find some equally bad stuff on the first page, but usually with fanfiction if the first page is a definite turnoff (buttcrap grammar, uninteresting start and such) then I don't bother reading the rest.

[Oracle_Hunter]

A few "Items" in that Naruto Fanon thing set off alarms within the first 200 pages...

1. Acended Bankai
2. Gamma Ray Burst
3. Genki Dama (AKA The Spirit Bomb)
4. Reality Manipulation

OK, Gamma Ray Burst really deserves quoting:

The Gamma Ray Burst is a special technique known only to Ryoku, the leader of the Delta Akatsuki. It is a powerful blast of twilighted energy that has the power of 10 supernovas. It was used by Ryoku when he fought Suzaku in their final fight, to which he lost when Suzaku deleivered a final Kokuho with the help of his father, Seireitou.
Because sometimes, the power of a thousand suns just isn't enough :smalltongue:

[Innis Cabal]

This is why the world does not deserve our presence

[Stormthorn]

The link the OP posted leads to a page that has bene closed off.

According to the logs this is due to vandalism. Somehting about someone posting this:


== ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == == ROY MUSTANG == ==

I WILL NOT STAND BY WHILE SOME BASTARD USES THE PLAYGROUND AS A MEANS TO COMMIT CYBER-VANDALISM!

Death to whoever did this! Death!

[Enlong]

OK, Gamma Ray Burst really deserves quoting:

Because sometimes, the power of a thousand suns just isn't enough :smalltongue:

Only ten Supernovas? Why not all eleven?

[Innis Cabal]

The link the OP posted leads to a page that has bene closed off.

According to the logs this is due to vandalism. Somehting about someone posting this:



I WILL NOT STAND BY WHILE SOME BASTARD USES THE PLAYGROUND AS A MEANS TO COMMIT CYBER-VANDALISM!

Death to whoever did this! Death!

Who says its someone from the Playground? Lets calm down and remember the internet is a big place

[Shades of Gray]

The internet is big,
and we're all really puny.
Just a tiny little speck,
'bout the size of Mickey Rooney...

Cookie for reference.

[Rutskarn]

Well, before this strife tears the playground apart, we need answers.

And I know just how to find them.

*dons fedora*

It was a freezing night on the Intarwebs, and the rain fell down like a choir of angels was chopping onions. I ignored it--my hard-boiled demeanor and insubstantial trenchcoat were my shield and armor against dramatically relevant weather phenomena.

I reviewed the facts.

Somebody'd messed up that wiki article good. Someone with a purpose. All they'd left was a name--Roy Mustang. Hadn't heard of it, but in an internet of several million, who's heard of anybody?

I had a hunch he wasn't a member of the Playground Racket. But I needed hard answers.

I decided to hit some bars. One bar in particular.

When I walked into The Search Bar, there was only a couple down-on-their luck saps, trying to find all the W40k threads so they could flame the canon or find that one juicy slash fic link. I ignored them, heading straight to the bartender.

"Roy Mustang," I said in a hard-boiled fashion. "Heard of him?"

He scrubbed a glass. "I heard something."

"Spill."

He gestured to a table where a couple of pointy-haired, squealing fangirls sat. "Heard he's from Fullmetal Alchemist. Colonel of some sort." He paused, nodding to me. "He in some sort of trouble?"

I shook my head. "This doesn't seem like his style. No, this wasn't him. It was someone acting on his behalf--whether he wanted it or not."

TO BE CONTINUED.

(...did I just write a fanfic about someone vandalizing a page about a fanfic?)

[kpenguin]

How can you misspell win as Rutskarn?

[comicshorse]

TO BE CONTINUED.

(...did I just write a fanfic about someone vandalizing a page about a fanfic?)

Yes, yes I believe you did, please continue I was just getting into it

[Reptilius]

That metafic was great. You can't leave us on a cliffhanger like this!

[Rutskarn]

Uh. This is awkward.

I actually kind of had no idea if I was going to write any more of that, or what. I have absolutely no idea where to go from there.

Alright, be back in a few minutes.

[bosssmiley]

How can you misspell win as Rutskarn?

That is not a misspelling. Rutskarn is what win dreams of being when it grows up. :smallwink:

Also: what the hell am I doing in a Naruto thread?! :smalleek:

*sets self afire, runs screaming*

[Rutskarn]

When I arrived at the article, all there was was a vacant lot, a pile of materials, and a workman.

He was already rebuilding the wrecked article, layering words on top of words with precision. Such craftsmanship was admirable, almost especially given the distasteful subject matter. I walked over to him, and he didn't acknowledge me.

"Rough night, huh?"

He turned, giving me a contemptuous look.

"What do you want, flatfoot?"

I shifted my weight, making sure my pose communicated the sufficient degree of edginess and grit. It was actually a pretty good effect. I was proud of it.

"Answers. I want to know who did this."

He grunted, turning back to his work. "Yeah, I'm sure you do. Tell you what--you find him, bring him to me. I'll kill the bastard with my own bare hands."

I blinked. "Were you the owner of the article?"

He shook his head, grumbling. "I may be a boot-lickin' wikeditor, but I ain't that low. I just hate making the whole thing from scratch."

A thought struck me.

"From scratch? What, you can't just reverse the edit?"

He threw his trowel down, rounding on me. "No, I can't, cos it ain't there. No original version, no vandalized version--just..." He gestured angrily. "This."

I nodded once, turning immediately. "Thanks for your time."

He started to turn back to his work, then stopped short, squinting. After a moment,he said, "...is your fedora on backwards?"

I froze.

"Uh. No. I don't know what you're talking about."

He leaned in closer. "No, no, I'm pretty sure it is. See, you can tell cos..."

"Look, there's no mirror in my squalid blind-lit office, alright? 'Sides, this is a new fedora. I got it on sale."

He shrugged apathetically, squatting back down. "Whatever you say."

I walked off, muttering hardboiledly to myself.

They'd already cleaned up the scene of the crime. Nothing was left but a vague mention of vandalism in the history file, the crime itself treated like a smashed animal in the road--unpleasant, a mess, and someone else's problem. Well now, it was mine.

[BRC]

Uh. This is awkward.

I actually kind of had no idea if I was going to write any more of that, or what. I have absolutely no idea where to go from there.

Alright, be back in a few minutes.

I think you have a good future re-interpreting internet events as hard boiled detective fiction. Just imagine it

I entered the alleyway and had to resist the urge to gag. Egos were everywhere in the alleyway, scorched and shattered behind recognition. In the distance, you could hear a rookie re-examining his lunch. Detective Google and a young cop I didn't recognize were taking pictures, they nodded to me as I entered.
The young one turned to me, his eyes full of a hope this wasn't what it seemed: "What do you think it was? Spammers? Newbs asking questions that have been answered a thousand times?"
I sighed "No way kid. Only one sort of thing leaves this much damage. There was a flame war here, and it's not over"...

[Rutskarn]

See my Omegle Shenanigans thread. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6014657&postcount=148)

[Zeful]

Now, to me this suggests that Jutsu are damn tricky to learn, which is (one of many reasons) why the Sharingan is such a game-breaker. The only one seen training in techniques is Naruto and he made the Raisenshriuken (which is stated to be close to impossible) in two-three days (and a large, but unspecified number, of shadow clones).

And the idea that you can just "pump more chakra" into something to get an extra effect bugs me hugely. I prefer to think it would just be mostly wasted chakra. Didn't they have, like, half-an-episode dedicated to that fact? That's what chakra control training was for, surely?First, anime isn't canon unless it A.)Came first, B.)Has the creator's name as part of the title. Second, the explanation I think your referring to is This one (http://www.onemanga.com/Naruto/90/07/) in which it explains that Naruto generates more chakra than necessary and then doesn't use it all. And yes you can just "pump more chakra into [justsu]". When you compare Ebisu's comparison between team 7 you notice that as the chakra used drops, so does the number of clones.


d) Sasuke's fight with Naruto in the prelims. Just... what the hell? What? Even with the eyebrow-raising powerboost Naruto's got in this fic, that's outright stupid. One punch? I'm as irritated by the Uchiha as anyone else, but Sasuke didn't go down to Rock Lee with one goddamn punch. This was one punch, to the jaw (where Sasuke's never been hit in canon, so why not give him a glass jaw?), with no weights (which he had been wearing for at least a month), and, more importantly, no restraint. If Lee hit anyone but Garaa the same way, they'd be dead.


e) My most petty point is that Shino has changed from "The Quiet, Overlooked Guy" in canon to a "Sesquidelian Loquaiciousness" user of Vaarsuvian levels. He's got about as much character development as Tenten (who's only been in two fights, both off-screen), so the writer can choose whatever personality they want for him.


g) On another Hyuuga point, Naruto's insta-fix for the Cursed Seal bugs the hell out of me. That's the author making up his own stuff, based off his own theories.

[ZeroNumerous]

f) Hyuuga Hiashi's Flanderisation from harsh-father-but-ultimately-an-honourable-guy to evil-abusive-murdering-father is... troubling.

This actually is true. Specifically, Hiashi abandoned Hinata mainly because Hinata is weaker than her little sister. Kurenai takes care of her in canon, which implies that Hinata no longer lives with nor is supported by Hiashi.

[Zeful]

This actually is true. Specifically, Hiashi abandoned Hinata mainly because Hinata is weaker than her little sister. Kurenai takes care of her in canon, which implies that Hinata no longer lives with nor is supported by Hiashi.

I think that he was referring to Hiashi actually threatening to kill someone, which doesn't actually happen in the fic or canon. Hiashi shows up for three or so chapters, none of which imply him wishing death on anyone.

[golentan]

The internet is big,
and we're all really puny.
Just a tiny little speck,
'bout the size of Mickey Rooney...

Cookie for reference.

Umm... Is that from Monty Python's meaning of life?

Okay, Rutskarn, if I'm right, I'll give you the cookie. You deserve it for turning the internet into a noir detective story. If the template can be applied to that... I... I have to go. I'm going to be rewriting...

...this thing, you know?

[Collin152]

The internet is big,
and we're all really puny.
Just a tiny little speck,
'bout the size of Mickey Rooney...

Cookie for reference.

It's big and black and inky,
and we are small and dinky,
it's a big universe, and we're not!

Animaniacs. Gimme my damn cookie.

[chiasaur11]

It's big and black and inky,
and we are small and dinky,
it's a big universe, and we're not!

Animaniacs. Gimme my damn cookie.

Specifically Yakko's Universe.

Thought it was too easy to be cookie worthy, but if that's all it takes...

Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee!