Psychiatrist's Office (Non-Canon Area)

[Haruki-kun]

Somewhere in an empty lot in the middle of the Acroverse, there is a stand. A wooden stand decorated with nails and no paint, except for the one used to write the signs in lopsided, scrawny, handwritten letters.


http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll190/Haruki-san/psychiatrichelp.png

This is the office of Dr. Haruki von Freud, Ph.D. The Doctor sits in a chair behind the stand and looks at his patients with a friendly, encouraging smile, and takes notes of the stories they tell him. After which, he calmly asks, "And how does that make you feel?"

Off to the side, there is a group of park benches with a table in the middle. The waiting area, where people can wait for their turn.

OOC:
Characters around here are insane, let's face it. I thought it would be fun to bring this up for a while.

Given that I'll be playing the Doctor, I'll actually announce my deadtime and undeadtime (The Angel is IN, The Angel is OUT), but people are welcome to stay and RP as much as they want. This is Non-Canon, so just sit and have fun.)

[happyturtle]

*drags Reinholdt the character into the thread*

*plunks him down in front of the Angel*

"Here. This one might take a while."

*drops a roll of nickels into the jar*

[onasuma]

Walking up to the booth comes a man, dressed in an unusual set up. He wears what is clearly a ladies furcoat from the past decades, but over the top of that, a set of chainmail. In one hand he grasps a hammer, in the other he grasps his severed hand holding a hammer.

"My hand done come off" He shouts at the angel, then sits down in front of the booth awaiting advise on how to cope with such a change

[Haruki-kun]

The Doctor scratches his chin. "Ah, well, sir. Would it be the left hand, or the right hand? I can never tell with narrations. It is the one not holding the hammer, am I right?"

[Reinholdt]

The cat looks up at Haruki. "Oh hey Haruki. Doing well Reinholdt hopes? Reinholdt doesn't know why Reinholdt is here. Reinholdt isn't even sure which incarnation of Reinholdt this is. That Cat has been through so much and changed a great deal from when Reinholdt first found the ACROverse." The cat looks at Happy hopefully. Could they leave nows? He's not insane! Honest!

[onasuma]

Waving his still bleeding RIGHT stump in the air, he says

"my LEFT hands all upped it and left! Then i found this hand 'ere and now im all confused"

Once finished, he starts sucking on his severed hand, and starts to sob.

[Haruki-kun]

Onasuma

"Good grief! It would appear you have a severe case of Runaway Hand Syndrome!" The Doctor reaches under the counter and pulls out a lollipop. "That should help in stopping the bleeding."

"Now listen here... I'm sure you miss your hand very much, but you have got to move on! You must realize that there's other hands out there in the world! You cannot live in the past!

.....that and uhm.... that might need stitches. I think there's a hospital somewhere..... yeah."

--------------------------------------

Reinholdt

The Doctor looks at Reinholdt a little confused. "Well, I uh.... ehm.... it has... I mean, surely....

.........and how does that make you feel?"

[onasuma]

"But where am I going to find a clown to perform stiching surgery at 3 am?" he says still sobbing, but snatching the lolipop from harukis hand "And clowns are all expensive. huge callout charges..."

[Reinholdt]

"Awful! If Reinholdt was insane there might still be hope for a sane happy world. But Reinholdt is perfectly sane and wants to kill them all to save them from their suffering so the world is a dark and morbidly awful Reinholdt hating place. Boy does the world hate Reinholdt. Stupid world."

[Haruki-kun]

Onasuma

The Doctor nods at the severed hand man. "I understand your situation, but there must be something. There's always programs run by... uhm... associations! And they provide with good clown healt care services for free! It's perfect for everyone! assuming you're not afraid of clowns, of course..."

-------------

Reinholdt

"Oh, I know what you mean. People tend to like insanity a lot, but you can't let them get to you just because you're.... sane.

Look, I know. I'm sure we can find something to work with. How about we talk about your past? Your childhood?"

The Doctor pulls out a smoke machine. "Here! I'll provide the smoke for the flashbacks."

[onasuma]

"Oh god! there arent clowns are there? I so scared I might just have to not say anything for the next 8 hours!"

And then he didnt.

[Reinholdt]

"...If you really want to."
Reinholdt clears his throat and waits for the smoke screen.

Then starts reciting his novella length backstory (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5529013&postcount=129).

This could take a while if he's not interrupted.

[VampireRot]

"Did someone say interrupted?!"

Vampire Rot comes up and shoves Reinholdt. He points a sword at Haruki's throat and demands pci scy psychiatroodic? help.

[Falgorn]

A floating severed head floats in. The head is of Falgorn. "Doctor! Doctor! Me needs is English! Poota Poota Hallebits! Blargh! Blargh-ity-blargh-blargh! Bow chicka wow wow!" He doesn't notice his body-less-ness.

[VampireRot]

Rot grabs the head and starts drinking out of it. Yum! It's like a root beer float except instead of ice cream and root beer you get brains and blood!

[Falgorn]

The Head shoots a bolt of lightning at Rot. And, no blood is coming from the head. Only Apple Juice.

[VampireRot]

Rot spits out the juice with disgust. He throws the head at Reinholdt and then he is struck by lighting. As he is leaning on the wooden stand, it is set on fire. But no matter, Rot still askes,

"Come on! I need some help! Siciotarist!!!"

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki sprays the people with cold water. "People! Calm down, there' s plenty of time to treat everyone."

-----

He turns to look at Rein's backstory. "What are you kidding me? That would take more than a nickel."

-----

He looks at the head. "You're uhm.... spilling apple juice. Would you like a band-aid?"

-----

He looks at Rot. "What appears to be the problem?"

[Reinholdt]

"Hey! You asked Reinholdt for his childhood story. What did you expect? A paragraph? Besides, you got a whole roll of Nickels from Reinholdt." He shrugs and steps out of the way of the head.

"But fine. If you want to pass up perfectly good narrative with a long build up to a deep and emotional ending, be my guest. Just don't ask Reinholdt for the cliff notes version cause that'd just be insulting."

[happyturtle]

"I know! That's why I gave you a whole roll of nickels!" *nodnod*

[Haruki-kun]

"Oh, alright, fine! I'll read it!"

The Doctor reads it. The Doctor's player, however, turns to other things. About a million hours later, he resurfaces. "And, uhm... how does it make you feel?"

[Reinholdt]

"Reinholdt isn't really sure. On the one paw Calublufiok most likely would've found some way to blow up the world anyways. On another paw Reinholdt betrayed Reinholdt's entire race and world. On another paw Reinholdt helped end suffering in that universe forever. But on another paw, he was most certainly manipulated from an extremely vulnerable position. And Reinholdt is out of paws and Reinholdt didn't even get to talk about Vygor or Tabitha or Irusk or whatever Reinholdt's mother's name is, because Reinholdt's player never remembers. Zatanna or Zevanna or something like that. Reinholdt also always mixes up Vygor with Igor, though it most certainly is Vygor."

[VampireRot]

Rot kicks Reinholdt.

"Stop speaking in the third person! It's getting annoying."

The vampire's eye is twitching.

[Haruki-kun]

The Doctor looks at Reinholdt. "I would have to say you are quite the complicated case, but nothing out of the ordinary. You are haunted by a complicated past where everything is a mess and you saved a bunch of people but now you get the feeling that everyone hates you because you would kill them all to save them from their suffering." It looks like he really practiced that voice.

"And to top it off... you don't even know how you feel. Would you like a lollipop? They help."

-----

The Doctor looks at Rot and backs away a little. "Holy.... :smalleek: Your eye is twitching! that marks a Level 9 Rage! Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

[Reinholdt]

"Reinholdt is confused. No one Reinholdt saved is still alive. That's how Reinholdt fixed it all. Destroying Reinholdt's universe and ending the pain. But the pain didn't end cause Calublufiok snatched Reinholdt away before it could. Calublufiok always kept Reinholdt from killing himself. The jerk. But... he's the only guy who really cares for Reinholdt, right? The only one who didn't abandon Reinholdt." Reinholdt accepts the lollipop as he starts to curl up into a kitty fetal position.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki looks at him curling up. "And how does that.... OK, no, I really need to try something else here... Wanna take a look at my notes?"

[Reinholdt]

"Umm... sure. Why not?" Curious kitty hops up behind the stand to read the obviously extensive and complicated and full of jargon notes.

[Haruki-kun]

It would appear the notes are written in some sort of Angelic language, and thereby unreadable. Luckily, Dr. Haruki adds illustrations for better a splaining the situation. The Illustration appears to be a very sad cat, followed by the drawing of the same cat, smiling while holding a demon's hand.

It also includes a drawing of a glass of chocolate milk, but the Doctor seems to have scratched it out.

[Reinholdt]

Reinholdt hisses at the chocolate milk. The rest of it seems pretty accurate, though. He hops back down.

[VampireRot]

"Well, I have this big problem. I get really really hungry sometimes. And then I fall asleep. When I wake up I'm not hungry, but I'm covered in blood and dead peoples. They taste so gooood."

Rot licks his lips hungrily at the memory. Then he stares at Haruki.

"Do angels taste good. Do they have... Chicken wings?"

[Haruki-kun]

"I wouldn't know. We're only granted physical bodies for interaction in this plane. They'd fade if we die."

He draws what appears to be a Pac-man eating a stick figure on his notes. "So you're into that sort of thing, and you have either short-term memory loss or multiple personality disorder. Would you care to pick one?"

[VampireRot]

"Both? Oh yeah, I'm a vampire too." :smallbiggrin:

Rot grins, showing off his canines.

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki draws fangs in the Pac-man drawing.

"A vampire, huh? Well, there's no shame in that, I guess. Unless.... you're not one of the ones that..." It looks like he has trouble getting the word out. "...SPARKLE? Are you?"

[VampireRot]

Rot growls in pure rage. A stormcloud appears over his head.

"NO!!! I'm not! All the vampires who.... who... SP- SPARKLE should die a terrible death!"

He then goes off on a 5 hour rant of mostly cursewords about the stupidity of sparkly vampires.

[Reinholdt]

>>
<<
Reinholdt throws a glitterdust at Rot and makes him sparkle. Then laughs maniacally knowing the vampire is going to do something horribly painful to him.

Just as planned. :smallamused:
The masochist freak.

[VampireRot]

Instead of attacking the kitty, Rot starts trying to get the sparkle off himself. By ripping chunks of flesh off his body. The vampire screams in pain as he tears himself apart to get the evil sparkly stuff off.

[Haruki-kun]

The Doctor listens to the speech intently, occassionally nodding and asking him how that makes him feel. In the end, after having drawn this in his notepad:

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t288/Vaarsuvius89/twilightvampires.jpg

He looks at the patient. "Alright, good. I was just checking. If you WERE a sparkly vampire, I'd have to ask you to leave. I don't think there's anything I could do for them...

Also, it would appear I caught your arm. Do you need it back?"

[Reinholdt]

Instead of attacking the kitty, Rot starts trying to get the sparkle off himself. By ripping chunks of flesh off his body. The vampire screams in pain as he tears himself apart to get the evil sparkly stuff off.
Reinholdt cackles anyways. Win-win for him.

"Well Ruki? Diagnose Reinholdt doc. What does Reinholdt got?"

[Haruki-kun]

"Ah, yes, Reinholdt... it would appear you have a slight case of... SKISS."

He pulls out a book and shows him the entry for it. "Sad kitteh is Sad Syndrome. It's not very complex, but it does affect kittehs who are sad. A lot. Just take three of these every day," he says giving him a bag of Skittles, "and come see me on a regular basis, OK?"

[VampireRot]

"You have a case of immense cruelty!"

Rot pretty much sobs as he doubles up in pain. Haruki is holding his left arm, half of his face has splattered onto Reinholdt, three ribs and the flesh around them are lying on the ground, and a torn lung is hanging from the sign advertising Psychotratic help.

"OW."

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki would heal him, but given that his healing powers are of holy origins, he'd probably end up hurting the vampire even more. Instead, he just flies around the area picking up the pieces. Literally, and puts them all together.

"Would you like me to call 911?"

[Reinholdt]

"Alright, thanks." Reinholdt takes the skittles. "Reinholdt will be back another time." He turns and leaves.

And is probably going to doom himself to a very unhealthy skittle addiction.

[VampireRot]

"Or you could give me a chicken wing. The blood might heal me."

Rot hopefully at the angel, or more specifically, at his wings.

[Haruki-kun]

"Would it, now?"

Haruki makes a slight cut on his hand and pours some blood into Rot's mouth. It should be pointed out, again, that this blood is holy, and will burn creatures like Rot on contact.

[VampireRot]

It burns Rot. He pulls back screaming.

"Ahhhhhh! It buuuurns! Chicken wing baaaaaad!"

[Haruki-kun]

"Good. Now that you started learning a little bit about what things you can ingest and what you can't, let's get back to some actual psychiatric help, shall we?

Now... your kind is usually older than it looks. how old are you and where are you from?"

[VampireRot]

"Of course, I'm... Uhhhhh. How old am I? Wait... Lemme check my profile."

Rot grabs a laptop from nowhere. He finds his profile (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5843710&postcount=177). As the forth wall dies in the backround, he quickly scans through it.

"Says here I'm about 1,000 years old. I'm from... Uhhh... Doesn't say here."

Rot says a few choice words on the lazyness of his player. He then starts typing rapidly.

"I've decided- I mean I've remembered that I'm from that one place in Europe with all those vampires, like Dracula's crib or something. Errr, Trannsylvania! That's it! Yeah, I'm from there now."

[Haruki-kun]

"Transylvania? Is that where people do the Time Warp? Well, that's interesting. have you ever done it?"

[VampireRot]

"I'm here, aren't I? That must mean there was some strange magics involved. But I really have no clue."

Rot is completely healed by now due to his healing abilities. Though there are still some blisters in his mouth cause of the holy blood.

[Haruki-kun]

"I see... Well, I'm sure we'll be working a lot on this from here on, but it appears our session is now over. It was a pleasure." Haruki extends his hand to shake Rot's, probably not taking into account the whole holy-skin-touching-unholy-skin-is-painful issue.


THE ANGEL IS OUT.

[VampireRot]

Rot shakes the hand presented. He then walks out jerking his burning hand wildly around.

"Ow! Ah! Ooooh! Aaah! Ooooow!"

[onasuma]

"Oh god! there arent clowns are there? I so scared I might just have to not say anything for the next 8 hours!"

And then he didnt.

After what seems like 8 hours, he speaks again.

"Ok, Im not scared anymore. Tell me more about these programs"

[Haruki-kun]

The Doctor walks into the office, drops his briefcase on the desk and sits, switching the sign.


THE ANGEL IS IN.

[Reinholdt]

Which messed up version of Reinholdt to bring in today?
Ah... I think I know.

Reinholdt walks up and puts five big roll of nickels on the countertop. Odd... though he's looking at Haruki, he doesn't seemed to be focused on him. Instead seems to be focusing on something past and beyond the angel. Yep. He's definitely looking at something else that also appears to be where the angel is or something.

[Haruki-kun]

And the Doctor holds up something.

http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/gallery/d/5043-2/duckie_magic_eye.jpg

"That's good, Reinholdt! Keep starting past the book! You'll get it soon!"

[Reinholdt]

Reinholdt stares at it. And past it. And under it.
But has never, EVER, been able to get these things.

"Nice book."

...
He seems to be missing his text color.

[Haruki-kun]

Ruki puts the book away. "Isn't it? Alright, now... last time we met.... we were discussing how it made you feel, is that correct?

Now tell me, Rein, what has been going on in your life since our last session? And what happened to your text color?"

[Reinholdt]

"Text color?" He seems to be having trouble focusing on Haruki and his questions. "I didn't know it was missing. Calublufiok gave me this star though after torturing me in every conceivable way possible that a lich millions of years old could think of."

His voice is incredibly monotone. And lacks all emotion whatsoever. As if all of this were just facts of life and nothing was wrong at all.

[Haruki-kun]

"Ah. Issues with your friends, huh? Would you like to talk about it?"

[Reinholdt]

"No. Reinholdt has no friends. Friends stab you in the back on your wedding day. I have no need for them." Monotone... creepy emotionless voice.

Haruki really should have read the backstory. *nods*

[happyturtle]

A girl who looks younger than her actual age of 16 shyly approaches and drops in a nickel.

"I'm an orphan, and I have a magic doll that advises me, and it told me to take care of this crazy cat, so I did, and then he turned human for a while and I fell in love with him, and then he was a cat again, and his girlfriend dumped him, so I thought maybe we'd have a chance, and then he brought home this scary man who scarred my face, but after that the cat became a human and told me that he loved me, and we're together now, and isn't that just the most wonderful story ever? He really loves me, right?"

[Haruki-kun]

"I did read the backstory!" says the Angel. "I just wasn't expecting a test on it!"

---------

The Doctor looks at the girl. "Yes, that is wonderful to hear! I'm happy for you. I have to ask, though, what kind of cat are we talking here?"

[Reinholdt]

Reinholdt looks over at Vasilisa. "I don't love you. That's just one of my many incarnations... particularly my most evil one... using you for sex. He pretends you're Rabbit every time it happens. Maybe someday he will actually love you for you. But for now it's all a lie."

[happyturtle]

"But... she was horrible to you! She never took care of you the way that I do! Why would you still love her instead of me?"

[Haruki-kun]

"Oh, my.... relationship issues. I've never dealt with one of these cases..."

The Doctor clears his throat loudly and looks at them. "Alright, I've got an idea! Let's try some uh.... Role reversal! You, miss? You'll be the catboy. Rein? You'll be this fine lady here. Are you ready? Go!"

[Reinholdt]

"I always go to the ones most horrible to me for some reason. But know that my love for her has been heavily tainted. Even if she came back it could never go back to the way it was or might have been. I'm just in a rather tulmuteous part of my life right now and haven't even been given the proper time to grieve for the loss of all my ideals, person who I was willing to love again for, and for killing my own son. Sorting myself out is going to take time. A lot of it, unfortunately. Time that I doubt you have before I self-destruct again from my misguided goals and evil, evil side."

Reinholdt looks over at Haruki. "Ummm... alright." Reinholdt turns to Vasilisa. "I love you Reinholdt and I'll never ever go away even if it's the best thing that could possibly be done for everyone."

[billtodamax]

((The magic eye, It's a duck, it's a duck! Duck hooray!))

[happyturtle]

"Er... um... stop saving my life and being so nice to me, Vasilisa! Because I've been evil and I don't deserve it! Now I'm going to change text colors again! Is that right?"

[billtodamax]

"Oh, oh, can I be poppet? Vasilisa! Feed me bread! *Helpful advice*" Says Bill.

[Haruki-kun]

"Yes, that's about right," says the Doctor. "Now.... try actually talking to each other."

[Reinholdt]

Reinholdt feeds Bill bread.

He turns back to Vasilisa. "I'm going to turn a blind eye to all your faults Reinholdt. And ignore all the horrible things you've done because I'm too young and naive to realize how truly monstrous you've been. But it's all ok because of love."

The monotone voice is kind of creepy with all the sarcasm floating around.

[happyturtle]

"And I'm going to repay all your kindness with mockery, abuse, and betrayal because I think that's how love is supposed to be returned."

[billtodamax]

"Uh-oh, a person, better be completely silent for an undisclosed reason." Says Bill.

[Reinholdt]

"And I'm going to accept it all. Because I'm a doormat just like you were Reinholdt when you were a kid. I'll accept it all and still love and care and... try to... help people..."

Reinholdt is becoming a little frightened about how similar the two of them may be.

[Haruki-kun]

Dr. Haruki looks down at his notes. "M...O... N.... Screw it, I'll just draw a monster."

"And how does that make you both feel?"

[Reinholdt]

"I... I... uh... I don't have to admit anything. My feelings are supposed to be hidden. That was part of my original character concept that may have gotten trashed along the way by angst, curses, and liches."

[happyturtle]

"I feel like... like... like I ought to pour that non-sentience potion in your cereal!" :smallannoyed: :smalleek:

She claps her hands over her mouth as she realized what she just said.

[Reinholdt]

"Heh. You know what? I dare you! I would practically love it! I did go out and get it didn't I? So do it. Do it and make the world a better place."

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki gives them both a glass of some type of alcohol. "We're making progress, that's good. Here, have a drink. Now, miss. What makes you want to pour that potion into... the cereal?"

[happyturtle]

"Because he refuses to learn from his mistakes! He just goes on to make new and better ones!"

[billtodamax]

Bill steals both glasses of alcohol. And then drinks them. Cats and small children shouldn't be drinking! Shame on you, mister doctor. :smalltongue:

[Reinholdt]

"I... can not possibly deny that. I don't even know how it happens. I try to fix things, then something comes along, usually some bigger badder evil than me, and I fall right back in with them. I'm like the ultimate minion lackey person thing. I think my heart was in the right place, my head is just backwards."

[happyturtle]

"Are you responsible for your own actions or not?!" :smallannoyed:

[billtodamax]

"Doctor, I have a problem. I keep hearing a voice that sounds just like my own, inside my own head. What's happening to me!?" Says Bill.

[Reinholdt]

"Some of them. Some of them I have a good argument against not being. I'd go with yes for the most part though.

[happyturtle]

"Then stop being evil! You know the difference between right and wrong. So be a good kitty for ****'s sake!"

Oh my. Vasi knows words like that? :smalleek:

[Reinholdt]

"I was working on it! I was actually making progress. Then a bunch of crazy evil people came in and messed with my head. AGAIN."

He is refering to Banjo's character. Who didn't really drive him too far away. Still manageable.
The drugs and Astir on the other hand really drove him over the edge.

[billtodamax]

Bill's inexpicably found some chips (Or crisps, depending on where you're from), and is crunching contently.

[happyturtle]

"How about saying 'Leave me alone' to those people? And how about maybe not doing hallucinogenic drugs?"

[Reinholdt]

"I can... say no? But my player has this uncontrollable desire to keep saying yes to the horrible people and things just to see what happens. He really does have the curiosity of a cat."

[happyturtle]

"Oh good grief. Who is the boss? You, or the player? Just sit him down and explain to him that you want some actual character growth and you aren't going to take no for an answer!"

[Reinholdt]

"Hey now! Are you insulting my character growth? My player has put a lot of work into giving me a lot of character growth! I probably change way too often to even be reasonable as a matter of fact. The killing of Shepherd was HUGE character growth and represented a dynamic shift from old Reinholdt."

[happyturtle]

"No, you have character change, not character growth. Sure, you decided not to destroy the world. But now you're just being evil for its own sake rather than evil-for-an-good-cause. Where's the growth in that?"

[billtodamax]

"But wasn't there another character change right after that?" Asks bill. He's started on the popcorn now.

[Reinholdt]

"That's a result of Astir's gift! He wasn't being evil for evil's sake before that.

And besides. He actually does have a plan. He's always been more than evil for evil's sake and he still is.

And I'd say realizing you're not supposed to blow up the world is character growth..."

[happyturtle]

"Pfft. Yeah right. He's actually taking pleasure in being evil. He never did that before."

[Haruki-kun]

Haruki's player looks down at the scene and makes weird faces as everything is revealed. Luckily the characters can't hear him. Other than the Doctor. The Doctor frowns and asks him to be quiet.

"Alright, now! Settle down! Look, I know you two have a lot going on in here, but please calm down. Remember this is a therapy session and.... uhm...."

The Doctor pulls out a pack of Altoids. "I think... I'm gonna have to medicate the both of you. Here, take one of these every once in a while. Not too often, OK? They're curiously strong..."

[billtodamax]

"Have you guys noticed that you started refering to Reinholdt in the second person?" Asks Bill, sipping his lift.

[Reinholdt]

"Hey. You can enjoy your work and still be more than evil for evil's sake. Don't worry. You'll see. You'll all see. Mwahahaha!!"

Reinholdt snatches the Altoid and pops one in his mouth. Still having not learned to say no, instead still always saying yes out of curiosity.

[billtodamax]

Bill takes an Altoid as well. He can only assume that they fix all mental health issues.

[happyturtle]

"I don't need medication! I only need some assertiveness training and maybe a clue-by-four upside the head!"

[Reinholdt]

"Reinholdt's player isn't really sure what Reinholdt needs. Perhaps a relationship that doesn't end horribly, but he just doesn't see Reinholdt allowing himself to get in one that isn't self-destructive in some way."

Reinholdt the cat says screw it and takes all the Altoids at one time.

[Haruki-kun]

"Uhm... well, I don't do that sort of thing, but I do believe Vespe offers free hugs right over there! Right, Vespe?"

[Vespe Ratavo]

Indeed. A new stand, which has nonetheless been there the entire time, suddenly appears.

http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k125/Yitsockl/hugelf.gif

[happyturtle]

ZOMG VESPE!!!!!!11!!1!11!111!eleventy!!!

Vespe is Turtle-glomped.

[Reinholdt]

Oh how Reinholdt needs oh so many hugs. That and he's now all drugged up from overdosing on Altoids. The cat glomps Vespe and clings to him posessively. "Have I ever told you how much I admire you and love you and miss going around and destroying fortresses with laser beams with you?"

[Fan]

In a final attempt to diagnos my reason for being bored with Fan, Fanboy walks into the office followed by what looks to be a INSANELY pale, and thin human wearing a black old navy jacket that looks like its been years past the time where "Throw it away!" should have happened, and is fading in parts.
Fan places a roll of quarters on the table, and will wave to Vespe while his player sits down beside him.

[happyturtle]

"Hmph. I offered him hugs. Whenever he wanted them. But noooooo, I'm not good enough." :smallyuk:

[billtodamax]

Bill would have a shiny ticket booth, if not for the fact that art hates me. So he's just standing there selling tickets to watch people tell the doctor all of their deep innermost problems.

[Reinholdt]

"Hmph. I offered him hugs. Whenever he wanted them. But noooooo, I'm not good enough." :smallyuk:

"Vasi... baby... sweetheart. You know I love you too. More than anything in all the world. Oh and Fan, you're tired of playing Fan because you always give him the happy ending. There's no reason to struggle if you always expect to win."

[Haruki-kun]

The Doctor looks at the newcomer. "Noticing my patients are fairly calm now, let's continue. Fan, is it? what brings you to seek my aid today?"

[happyturtle]

"Vasi... baby... sweetheart. You know I love you too. More than anything in all the world. Oh and Fan, you're tired of playing Fan because you always give him the happy ending. There's no reason to struggle if you always expect to win."

"Yeah, right, like I'm going to believe anything coming out of your lying mouth."

>.>

<.<

*scritches Reinholdt's ears*

[Ashen Lilies]

Khiansa storms in, wide eyed and literally foaming at the mouth.
On his shoulder sits a miniature version of this (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/Li_Kenta/KKRequest.jpg) dude (http://fc09.deviantart.com/fs44/f/2009/135/a/7/Kid_Kris_by_Kris_on_a_Stick.png)*, whispering into his ear like one of those shoulder devil thingies.
...
Shoulder angel. One of those shoulder angel thingies.

"Come now Khiansa. Be reasonable. You have to admit you have a problem before you can make things better."
:smallsmile:
"No! I must kill Reinholdt! Kill! Kill!"
"See? You can't solve all your problems by killing! Just talk to the doctor. I'll pay and everything!"
:smallsigh: "Fine."
Khiansa sits down and deposits a nickel given to him by his companion.
"Ireallydon'twanttobeherebutmyplayerisforcingmetoso makethisquickandIwon'thavetokillyou."



*Drawings by Vulion and myself, respectively.

[Fan]

"My player still wants to play my character, but at the same time isn't having fun doing it. I kind of had to drag him here as is. I don't want to slip into non existance, but at the same time we feel that I've lost alot of appeal."
The tall human who we will call his player shifts uncomfortably, and says
"What he said...BUT I want to know why I'm so inherently conflicted... I came here for help"

[Reinholdt]

"Yeah, right, like I'm going to believe anything coming out of your lying mouth."

>.>

<.<

*scritches Reinholdt's ears*
*purrrs*
"So you wouldn't even believe me when I said I have reservations for two at the Restaurant Enchante?" :smallamused: Reinholdt holds up reservation tickets.

Reinholdt looks at Khiansa. And hops up in his lap, kneeds, curls up and purrs loudly.

[happyturtle]

"SQUEEEEEEE!"

He's totally going to propose to me there, I just know it... :smallsmile:

*****

"Hey Fan, whatever happened to the storyline with your evil double?"

[Reinholdt]

"Heh. She's just so easy..."

Reinholdt continues to nuzzle and purr at Khiansa, basking and begging for his attention.

[Ashen Lilies]

Khiansa looks down.
"There is a Reinholdt in my lap."

[happyturtle]

Heh... that Reinholdt is such a playa...


Turtle continues to nuzzle and purr at Vespe, basking and begging for his attention.

[Fan]

Fan turns to Happy, and as\nswers kind of unsurredly.
"Well I think thats kind of the current problem in a way, My player cant find a way to write what he feels is a interesting, and deep plot for this, and every time one of the new plots pop up he looks back at his and feels like his is utter crap now, so he pushes it farther, and farther back..until now when things are resurfacing. Thus I think he feels like he can't continue until he finishes the plot that would have granted him a new story arc, or prehaps..even a ending god forbid. I came here to figure WHY I feel this way... Sorry for getting all deep in your thread by the way Haruki."

[Reinholdt]

"It's ok Fan. I'm not even sure Haruki is listening anymore. Plus it was pretty deep in different spots."

Reinholdt licks Khiansa's nose. "Going to kill me yet? You really should have done it before I got the OMG POWER boost."

[billtodamax]

Bill's moved onto malteasers. He also has a tape recorder.

[happyturtle]

"What do you want? Do you want to play Fan or do you want to give him an ending?"

>.>

<.<

"Psst... Hey, Khiansa, talk to the scarred girl about a potion of non-sentience."

[Haruki-kun]

"Hey! Of course I'm listening! It says the Angel is IN, right?" he points. "I'm just doing other stuff at the same time."

"No, I am."

"Anyway... in any other case I'd go with multiple personality disorder, but in this universe that appears to be the case with everyone."

"Yourself included?"

"Of course not. Anyway.... it was either a psychiatric office or a pub, and I think we already have one of those. Shall I treat you now?"

[Reinholdt]

"What do you want? Do you want to play Fan or do you want to give him an ending?"

>.>

<.<

"Psst... Hey, Khiansa, talk to the scarred girl about a potion of non-sentience."

"Pfft. Vasilisa has no idea where that even is. Hey... remember the good old days when Reinholdt and Happy were good friends? I miss those." :smallfrown:

[Fan]

To Ruki:
"Go ahead, but as a vampire MOST drugs dont work on me."

To Happy:
"Thats another area in which my player in unsure he wants to give me a proper ending, but at the same time he feels like he has a duty to you, Nil, Lex, and Vespe to continue playing Fan out of sheer respect, and in a way he wants to. Gragh! I'm so confuzzled!"

[Haruki-kun]

"That's perfect," says the Doctor. "That means I won't have to drug you."

Haruki grabs a fresh page. "Well, then, tell me about yourself, alright? What brings you here?"

((@KK: I can still RP a little with Khiansa if you're still there and willing.))

[Ashen Lilies]

"It's ok Fan. I'm not even sure Haruki is listening anymore. Plus it was pretty deep in different spots."

Reinholdt licks Khiansa's nose. "Going to kill me yet? You really should have done it before I got the OMG POWER boost."

Khiansa picks Reinholdt up.
"I'm not scared of your power boost. I'm still more powerful than you."
"He's right you know. Or I think he's right. He totally killed a god! In melee combat! Which is more than you can say."

[Reinholdt]

"Please. Gods are a dime a dozen. Besides... methinks I have a number of skills you don't know about." :smallamused:

Or he's bluffing. Probably bluffing.
You hope...

[Haruki-kun]

The doctor pulls out the water gun. "OK, people, calm down. No Epic battles in my office. Don't make me use this!"

He uses it anyway before they can respond, spraying them with water, a common technique. "Now, tell me, had a rough day? I just might have something for someone who had a harsh day at work, or fighting evil or..."

"PSST!"

"What?"

"You're supposed to say that when you're Bartending! You got the lines wrong!"

"Oh.... uhm.... guys, can we talk about your past and stuff?"

[Reinholdt]

"GAH!" Reinholdt hisses and starts melting. Ewww... he's getting all over Khiansa.

[Haruki-kun]

:smalleek: "Oh crap! I melted a patient! I didn't think the Altoids were THAT strong! Reinholdt! Reinholdt, can you hear me?"

[Ashen Lilies]

"Ew. That's just gross."
"Argh! Enough of this! I'm leaving to go kill Reinholdt."
He flashes out, leaving the player on his shoulder and the Reingoop in his lap to drop onto the chair.
Kris pokes the Reingoop.
"You know, you never accepted my invitation."

[Reinholdt]

"Yeah. Sorta sorry about that. Kind of. I might do it someday. The problem was... it's a freaking BUTTON IN THE MAIL! Anyone would be too paranoid about that to press it. Now if you excuse me..."

"I'm melting. I'm melting!! Aaaah!!!" /wicked witch of the west impression. Reinholdt is now Reingoop.

[billtodamax]

"AHHHH, I'm melting, I'm melti-wait. Someone already did that gag. Awww, I wanted to." He says. Then he starts drinking a Phanta

[Haruki-kun]

"I'm melting. I'm melting!! Aaaah!!!"

:smalleek: "And... uhm.... how does that make you..... feel?"

[Reinholdt]

:smalleek: "And... uhm.... how does that make you..... feel?"
...
...
...
...

[Haruki-kun]

The Doctor scopps Reingoop out, drops him into a bukkit and carries him to the fridge. "That should at least keep him fresh.... And hopefully make him solid again. Maybe I should have tried de-hydrating him or... Well, come on! I'm not an M.D.!

Anyway, I'm afraid that concludes today's session. Good night, everyone!"


The Angel is OUT.

[dagaarn]

Karl wanders into the "waiting room"...in the middle of a grassy field..."waiting field"?
He pulls up some grass...I mean sits on it...not actually...if you don't know what I mean then you should be in this thread....wait :smallsigh:
I'm gonna stop trying right -now-.

Karl waits for the doctor to come back.

[billtodamax]

Bill throws some salami at Karl. "Hey, you have to pay if you wanna watch people spilling their deepest mental issues."

[dagaarn]

Karl looks at him, rainbows swirling in his eyes...literally.
Calm it, boyo, don't make me rip out my throat.
And then he deadtimes.

[happyturtle]

A sexy as hell older woman walks into the thread and sinks down near Vespe, exhausted. "What's a good way to relax after creating a universe?"

[VampireRot]

A Tarrasque covered entirely in jelly is also on the waiting line. It growls in a subdued tone, more sad then mad, at the woman.

[dagaarn]

Karl chooses this moment to undeadtime. He sidles over to Vespe and "sexy as hell older woman".

"Why don't you try some..."

He reaches into his rainbow cloak and draws out a flower, each petal a different colour.
http://pf.totfarm.com/pics/pic_12249828580481.jpg

"CHAOS."

[VampireRot]

Nibbles growls more angrily at Karl and his flower, not liking the colors.

[dagaarn]

Fresh out of the oven, big boy
Karl giggles.

[happyturtle]

"Oh dear no. I just spent five billion years playing with the formless mass of elements that existed before time. One more drop of chaos, and I think I'll scream," Jedwiga says.

She looks a bit like the woman in the sig spoiler. Except in her late 30s. And not in a pirate costume. Because that would be silly.

[VampireRot]

The tarrasque covered in jelly looks quizically at Jedwiga.

Rowr?

[dagaarn]

"Oh dear no. I just spent five billion years playing with the formless mass of elements that existed before time. One more drop of chaos, and I think I'll scream," Jedwiga says.

She looks a bit like the woman in the sig spoiler. Except in her late 30s. And not in a pirate costume. Because that would be silly.

"Because that would be silly".
Isn't that half the point of this thread?
dagaarn shrugs.

Karl looks at her, confused.
But...the elements...I take it you mean the four classical elements, not the hundred or so real elements...That's possibly the most structured thing in the multiverse. Now, True Chaos, that can't even be comprehended. Anyway take this flower, it might help.

Karl holds the flower out to her and lets go, whether or not she catches it is up to her player.

[VampireRot]

"Because that would be silly".
Isn't that half the point of this thread?
dagaarn shrugs.


Nibbles, the jelly covered Tarrasque, growls in agreement.

[happyturtle]

The Chaos flower drops to the ground. Jedwiga is suddenly retconned into wearing a pirate outfit.

"Yar!"

[VampireRot]

Nibbles stoops down to sniff the flower. Of course, its super-tarrasque nose inhales the chaos flower. Not a very pleasant thing to have lodged in your nostril.

[dagaarn]

As the flower is inhaled, it turns into a rainbow lorikeet (like a parrot, native to australia) and flies back out to Karl's outstretched hand where it lands as a giant eagle (which is also multicoloured, what a surprise.)

Karl sighs as the eagle then turns into a cat, much like the cheshire cat. It slinks around his neck and stares at the pirate lass.

[VampireRot]

Nibbles sneezes anyway, spraying not only Tarrasque boogers all over Jedwiga and Karl but jelly too. :smalltongue:

[dagaarn]

The cat starts licking it off Karl's cheek as he checks, once again, whether the doc. is back yet.