Insanowar Five: HAND JIVE!

[happyturtle]

Welcome to Insanowar Five: HAND JIVE!

Da Rules:

1.) There are five players, each of which represent a commander of their army.

2.) Each player takes turns choosing some powerful character, semi-powerful group of characters, or large mob of expendable non-characters from any sort of media. Examples: The TMNTs, a Dreadnought from 40K, a mob of kobolds.

3.) When each player has 10 selections, the game begins.

4.) A map will be provided showing the layout of the battlefield. Each person will have a base of operations with which they can wage war. Note that each square is about 5 miles across.

5.) A static turn order is established. In each turn, the player dictates what their troops are doing, as far as the opponent can see. Secret actions need not be reported (although it is good sportsmanship to give hints as to what your are planning).

6.) When troops engage, the person whose turn the engagement took place on decides the outcome, which will usually NOT be all one way. If there is any friendly dispute (and the dispute WILL be friendly, or else), other players/playgrounders chime in with their opinions. If no consensus is reached, it's a 50/50 slaughter.

7.) The game ends when only one pick from one team is left standing.

8.) The winner is the one who wins.

Da Guidelinez:

1.) You can't choose anyone TOO powerful. No gods, demigods, anything like that. Make it something that's about the same power level as the other troops on the field.

2.) Don't be a jerk. The objective here is to have fun--frankly, who wins and who loses is pretty arbitrary anyway. This game is definitely straddling the line between Silly and Structured.

3.) Respect Awesomeness. If a player is pulling off something that's just too awesome to believe, that should aid his victory.

4.) Enjoy yourself. Seriously, guys.

Rules subject to change.

Da Players:


Happyturtle's Excellent Eighties Army


Khan and a supply of Ceti eels
Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth.
The Terminator
The A-Team, with their van (equipped for off-road), tools, weapons, and ammo
21 dancing zombies from Thriller (but without Michael Jackson)
The Smurfs and some of their allies
Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit
Superman


Lex-Kat's Neirian Royal Protectorate

Princess Lexington III and a contingent of 50 pixie archers
24 flaming chihuahuas
30 flying chihuahuas
Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitutes.
5 Onion spies/saboteurs.
12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each.
Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of W.I.T.C.H. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.I.T.C.H.).
Crew of 12 Spam Vikings (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE).
The Dhampir, Rayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rayne_(BloodRayne)), from the BloodRayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BloodRayne) series.
Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Tesla) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_ray).

Moon_Called's Hive Fleet Jabberwock

The Jaberwok (http://mooncalled-whiterose.deviantart.com/art/The-Jaberwok-81966195)
Tyranid Carnifex, doncha know. Equipment in link.
One Hive Tyrant (Catalyst, Synapse and The Horror Mind Powers. Armed with Acid Maw, Lash whip and Bonesword, Rending Talons, Implant Attack), and two Tyrant Guards (with Fleshhooks as well).
One unit of thirty Tyranid Gargoyles. Not much modifying to do with those guys, just the regular Fleshbrer and bio-plasma attack combo.
Three Tyranid Warriors. All of them with the Synapse mind power, Wings, and Enhanced Senses. First one armed with Scything Talons and a Barbed Strangler, second armed with Scything Talons and a Venom Cannon. Third armed with Rending Claws and a DeathSpitter.
One Broodlord with a retinue of 11 Genestealers, (http://mooncalled-whiterose.deviantart.com/art/Jaberowk-Genestealers-81965547) three of them with Feeder Tendrils, all armed with Scything Talons and Rending Claws.
One unit, three Lictors.
One unit of 10 Genestealers, four with Feeding Tendrils and all with Flesh Hooks. All armed with Rending Claws and Scything Talons.
One unit of 5 Raveners, all armed with all scything talons.
Ten more Genestealers, same equipment as last time.
One unit of 4 Raveners, armed with scything talons and rending claws.

Murska's The Many Who Must Not Be Named

Kvothe and Bast from The Name of the Wind
Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle
4 Harlequin Troupers from WH40k
8 Fremen Fedaykin (Dune)
A Cybran group: Deceiver (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Cybran_T2_Mobile_Stealth_Field_System)along with six Fire Beetles (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Fire_Beetle), two Loyalists (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Loyalist)and four Bangers (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Banger)
A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms upgraded with Supercharged Particle Beams and Signature Generators (C&C 3)
Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks.
Reno and Rude (Final Fantasy)
Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel (Full Metal Alchemist)
Avenger and two Firestorms from X-Com

Shadowcaller's Shadow Legion

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
Basement Cat
4 Worms
Doom Guy (http://www.bamkapow.com/the-official-doom-comic-book-from-96-1765-p.html)
Temeraire + Laurence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temeraire_(series))
20 Orcish Demolishers (http://www.wowwiki.com/Demolisher) with the burning oil upgrade. (from warcraft 3: the frozen throne)
Three random pokemons from the first and the second game. (Evee (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Eevee_(Pokémon)), Ekans (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ekans_(Pokémon)) and Wobbuffet (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Wobbuffet_(Pokémon)))
4 Horrors from the S.E.U. series.
The retarded D&D monster squad: A Mimic (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Mimic_(4e_Creature)), a Raffamoffyn (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Raggamoffyn_(4e_Creature)) and a Gelatinous Cube (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Gelatinous_Cube)
Memnarch (http://www.phyrexia.com/continuity/Memnarch.shtml)



Da map:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png

Da HAND JIVE!

http://www.comicgenius.com/DiscoFever/disco_profiles/grease/images/hand_jive.jpg

[happyturtle]

I'm going with an Eighties Theme.

My first choice:

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/070725/wedding/khan_l.jpg
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/120.jpg

Khan Noonien Singh (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khan_Noonien_Singh) and a supply of Ceti Eels (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceti_eel#Ceti_eel)


Whoever posts next, go ahead with your pick.

[Lex-Kat]

Oh my!! :eek:

Um, I'm going with Princess Lexington leading a contingent of Pixie Archers.

[Murska]

I'll have Kvothe and Bast from the Name of the Wind. :smallsmile:

[Shadowcaller]

I will pick Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni (with some limitations that I will work out with you guys.)

Shadowcaller

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

[happyturtle]

Lex, how many pixie archers?

SC, Ink-Eyes is the one that resurrects his kills under his control?

As for the Ceti eel, my thinking is that if someone is captured, Khan can use the eel to control them, but that when it is Dramatically Appropriate, the person can make their will save, grimace and overact, and somehow force the eel out of their head.

[billtodamax]

Lex has a clear advantage being surrounded by a lake. While HT has the rivers, leading straight to both Murska and Lex. Shadowcaller has some rough terrain, so that should help, but moon_called only has trees, which everyone else also has. [/metagamey]

[happyturtle]

Everyone picked their own terrain.

[Dr. Bath]

Also, what is the massive sphere? It looks mysterious.

[happyturtle]

It's a fell.

[Murska]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/Saanatunturi_%28fell%29.jpg

One of these. :smallsmile:

[Dr. Bath]

A perfectly spherical fell... Okay then.

[happyturtle]

No, no, only perfectly hemispherical. Totally different!

Should be fun for Murska's units trying to climb it with all that snow making it even slipperyer.


Also, since our themes are different enough that we're unlikely to step on each others toes, and since Loony said she needed more time, and because she's mah rival, so I want to skip her anyway, I'll make my next pick.


http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/img_9.jpg
Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes!


Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth.

I propose for time travel, future versions of themselves can make plans and plant useful things for the present versions to find, or that they can go to the past and bring in historical figures (subject to limits) for help, but that they can't change things that happened in earlier rounds, because that would be a pain.

Of course this means that if when they get killed, it makes a time paradox, since they don't have future selves to do things, but hopefully everyone is willing to hand-wave that.

[Shadowcaller]

My second pick is gone to be Basement cat and 4 worms (from the game Worms)

Shadowcaller

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
Basement Cat
1 Worm
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

[Murska]

I'll be picking Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle, which fires monofilament strings capable of punching through armour and utterly liquedifying anything inside. It's been specially modified as a sniper weapon with a longer barrel and gravitic accelerators, but has no scope, because Häyhä needs no scope.
And 4 Harlequin Troupers from WH40k.

[happyturtle]

Oh, right. I was supposed to pick two guys this round. I'll take the Terminator.

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/terminator.jpg

[Lex-Kat]

I want a squad of Flaming Chihuahuas (24 doggies).

The breathe fire, are immune to fire, and are on fire.

Second choice.

Flying Chihuahuas. 30 of them.

They are flying spies and possible dive bombers. BOOM!!

Now I suggest we wait for Moon to catch up.

[happyturtle]

Flying chihuahua bombers?

>.>

<.<



*gives Moon_Called a special umbrella (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/erf0004.html)*

[Shadowcaller]

Correction: I will take 1 worm instead of 4 since it got all weapons...

[happyturtle]

Wyld Stallyns does an impromptu concert while waiting for Loony to make her picks.

Too bad Bill and Ted still don't know how to play their instruments.

http://thecriticalcritics.com/review/wp-content/images/top10/music_bands/wyld_stallyns.jpg

[Mr. Moon]

I've got my whole army planned already, actually...

But for now:

Fist pick - The Jaberwok (http://mooncalled-whiterose.deviantart.com/art/The-Jaberwok-81966195)
Tyranid Carnifex, doncha know. Equipment in link.

Second pick - One Hive Tyrant (Catalyst, Synapse and The Horror Mind Powers. Armed with Acid Maw, Lash whip and Bonesword, Rending Talons, Implant Attack), and two Tyrant Guards (with Fleshhooks as well).

Third Pick - One unit of thirty Tyranid Gargoyles. Not much modifying to do with those guys, just the regular Fleshbrer and bio-plasma attack combo.

[happyturtle]

4. http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/ateam.jpg
The A-Team, with their van (modified for off-road) and gear (tools, machine guns, and ammo)


5. http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/Thrillerdance3.jpg
The 21 (according to Amber) dance-fighting zombies from Thriller, but without Michael Jackson


6. http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/smurfs.jpg
The Smurfs, and a few of their allies.List here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_characters_in_The_Smurfs)

And if someone wants Gargamel and Azrael as a free pick, I have no objections if none of the other players do. ^.^

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/da/Gargamel_and_Azrael_from_the_Smurfs.jpg/180px-Gargamel_and_Azrael_from_the_Smurfs.jpg

[Lex-Kat]

4. Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitues.
http://i451.photobucket.com/albums/qq237/Lex-kat/weareyoung.jpg
5. 5 Onion spies/sabateurs.

6. 12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each.

[Shadowcaller]

4. Doom Guy (http://www.bamkapow.com/the-official-doom-comic-book-from-96-1765-p.html)

5. Temeraire + Laurence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temeraire_(series))

6. Hitchcock's Ninja Cat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbwpgyRUv5g)

Shadowcaller

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
Basement Cat
1 Worm
Doom Guy
Temeraire + Laurence
Hitchcock's Ninja Cat
.
.
.
.

[Murska]

4. 8 Fremen Fedaykin (Dune)

5. A Cybran group: Deceiver (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Cybran_T2_Mobile_Stealth_Field_System)along with six Fire Beetles (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Fire_Beetle), two Loyalists (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Loyalist)and four Bangers (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Banger)

6. A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms upgraded with Supercharged Particle Beams and Signature Generators (C&C 3)

[Mr. Moon]

4 - Three Tyranid Warriors. All of them with the Synapse mind power, Wings, and Enhanced Senses. First one armed with Scything Talons and a Barbed Strangler, second armed with Scything Talons and a Venom Cannon. Third armed with Rending Claws and a DeathSpitter.

5 - One Broodlord with a retinue of 11 Genestealers, (http://mooncalled-whiterose.deviantart.com/art/Jaberowk-Genestealers-81965547) three of them with Feeder Tendrils, all armed with Scything Talons and Rending Claws.

6 - One unit, three Lictors.

[happyturtle]

7. http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/flash79.jpg
Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen

8. http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/newssuggest_bm387jwn.jpg
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

9. http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/MASH-tv-show-10.jpg
A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit

10. http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/superman_reeve.jpg
Superman! (Not invulnerable to everything but Kryptonite, as that would be boring, but please come up with something pretty epic if you're going to kill him.)

[Murska]

7. Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks.

8. Reno and Rude (Final Fantasy)

9. Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel (Full Metal Alchemist)

10. Avenger and two Firestorms from X-Com

[Selrahc]

7. Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks.

Isn't that like... 3 picks rolled into one?
Then again, one of your opponents has fricking Superman, so I guess it's all to the good.

[happyturtle]

Hey, I need someone to protect the 80% of my picks who can be killed by ordinary bullets. :smalltongue:

[Murska]

Isn't that like... 3 picks rolled into one?
Then again, one of your opponents has fricking Superman, so I guess it's all to the good.

That's a single Zerg group. A small one, though, but Kerrigan is strong. :smallsmile:

[Shadowcaller]

7. Three random pokemons from the first and the second game. (Evee (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Eevee_(Pokémon)), Ekans (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ekans_(Pokémon)) and Wobbuffet (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Wobbuffet_(Pokémon))) I guess you have to trust me on the randomizing...

8. A right now unkown number of Horrors from the S.E.U. serie.

9. The retarded D&D monster squad: A Mimic (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Mimic_(4e_Creature)), a Raffamoffyn (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Raggamoffyn_(4e_Creature)) and a Gelatinous Cube (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Gelatinous_Cube)

10. Memnarch (http://www.phyrexia.com/continuity/Memnarch.shtml)

Shadowcaller

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
Basement Cat
X Worms
Doom Guy
Temeraire and Laurence
20 Orcish Demolishers
Evee, Ekans and Wobbuffet
X Horrors
A Mimic, a Raggamoffyn and a Gelatinous Cube
Memnarch


Edit: Removed Hitchcock's Ninja Cat and replaced it with 20 Orcish Demolishers (http://www.wowwiki.com/Demolisher) with the burning oil upgrade. (from warcraft 3: the frozen throne)

[Mr. Moon]

... Fork you, Murska.
Taking one of my fangirl crushes... *shakes fist*

7 - One unit of 10 Genestealers, four with Feeding Tendrils and all with Flesh Hooks. All armed with Rending Claws and Scything Talons.

8 - One unit of 4 Raveners, all armed with scything talons and rending claws

9 - Ten more Genestealers, same equipment as last time.

10 - One unit of 5 Raveners, armed with all scything talons.

[Darkcomet]

*pokes MC*

Shouldn't the Ravener picks be switched around? I mean, the individuals in the 5-Ravener one are more powerful than in the 4-Ravener one, and that doesn't exactly make sense...

[Mr. Moon]

...
Ack! Logic! My one true weakness!

[Darkcomet]

:tongue:

It's just a matter of switching the numbers around.

[happyturtle]

Okay, still waiting on:

Lex's last 4 picks, as well as for Lex and Murska to name their armies. Also, Lexington and Kvothe are the generals, right?

After we have the last picks, let's take a day or two to discuss power levels and make sure everyone's happy with what we've got. This is where numbers might be tweaked up or down for balancing the armies.

After that, it's game on. Any thoughts on what order to go in?

[happyturtle]

While waiting for the war to begin, Khan makes sure his troops are in shape by leading them in a rousing Safety Dance! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qW0Edq1KqI&feature=related)

[Lex-Kat]

First, Scrub's Turk dancing to Safety Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyfdcXnaPbM&NR=1).

Second, Princess Lexington the III is indeed leading the forces of the Neirian Royal Protectorate.

Third, there are 50 archers in her contingent. (Unless you think that's too many.)

Fourth,

#7- Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of W.I.T.C.H. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.I.T.C.H.).
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/df/WITCHposter.jpg/250px-WITCHposter.jpg
#8- Crew of 12 Spam Vikings (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE).

#9- The Dhampir, Rayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rayne_(BloodRayne)), from the BloodRayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BloodRayne) series.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d5/Bloodrayne_2.jpg/300px-Bloodrayne_2.jpg
#10- A Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Tesla) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_ray).
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d4/N.Tesla.JPG/200px-N.Tesla.JPG

[billtodamax]

#10- A Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Tesla) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_ray).
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d4/N.Tesla.JPG/200px-N.Tesla.JPG
:smallbiggrin::smalltongue:

Awesome. Tesla forever!

[happyturtle]

Okay, armies complete. Everyone please look over the list and give your opinions as to how balanced or not it is. Bystander opinions welcome as well.


Happyturtle's Excellent Eighties Ensemble


Khan and a supply of Ceti eels
Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth.
The Terminator
The A-Team, with their van (equipped for off-road), tools, weapons, and ammo
21 dancing zombies from Thriller (but without Michael Jackson)
The Smurfs and some of their allies
Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit
Superman


Lex-Kat's Neirian Royal Protectorate

Princess Lexington III and a contingent of 50 pixie archers
24 flaming chihuahuas
30 flying chihuahuas
Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitutes.
5 Onion spies/saboteurs.
12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each.
Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of W.I.T.C.H. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.I.T.C.H.).
Crew of 12 Spam Vikings (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE).
The Dhampir, Rayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rayne_(BloodRayne)), from the BloodRayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BloodRayne) series.
Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Tesla) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_ray).

Moon_Called's Hive Fleet Jabberwock

The Jaberwok (http://mooncalled-whiterose.deviantart.com/art/The-Jaberwok-81966195)
Tyranid Carnifex, doncha know. Equipment in link.
One Hive Tyrant (Catalyst, Synapse and The Horror Mind Powers. Armed with Acid Maw, Lash whip and Bonesword, Rending Talons, Implant Attack), and two Tyrant Guards (with Fleshhooks as well).
One unit of thirty Tyranid Gargoyles. Not much modifying to do with those guys, just the regular Fleshbrer and bio-plasma attack combo.
Three Tyranid Warriors. All of them with the Synapse mind power, Wings, and Enhanced Senses. First one armed with Scything Talons and a Barbed Strangler, second armed with Scything Talons and a Venom Cannon. Third armed with Rending Claws and a DeathSpitter.
One Broodlord with a retinue of 11 Genestealers, (http://mooncalled-whiterose.deviantart.com/art/Jaberowk-Genestealers-81965547) three of them with Feeder Tendrils, all armed with Scything Talons and Rending Claws.
One unit, three Lictors.
One unit of 10 Genestealers, four with Feeding Tendrils and all with Flesh Hooks. All armed with Rending Claws and Scything Talons.
One unit of 5 Raveners, all armed with all scything talons.
Ten more Genestealers, same equipment as last time.
One unit of 4 Raveners, armed with scything talons and rending claws.

Murska's The Many Who Must Not Be Named

Kvothe and Bast from The Name of the Wind
Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle
4 Harlequin Troupers from WH40k
8 Fremen Fedaykin (Dune)
A Cybran group: Deceiver (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Cybran_T2_Mobile_Stealth_Field_System)along with six Fire Beetles (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Fire_Beetle), two Loyalists (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Loyalist)and four Bangers (http://supcom.wikia.com/wiki/Banger)
A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms upgraded with Supercharged Particle Beams and Signature Generators (C&C 3)
Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks.
Reno and Rude (Final Fantasy)
Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel (Full Metal Alchemist)
Avenger and two Firestorms from X-Com

Shadowcaller's Shadow Legion

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
Basement Cat
X Worms
Doom Guy (http://www.bamkapow.com/the-official-doom-comic-book-from-96-1765-p.html)
Temeraire + Laurence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temeraire_(series))
20 Orcish Demolishers (http://www.wowwiki.com/Demolisher) with the burning oil upgrade. (from warcraft 3: the frozen throne)
Three random pokemons from the first and the second game. (Evee (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Eevee_(Pokémon)), Ekans (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ekans_(Pokémon)) and Wobbuffet (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Wobbuffet_(Pokémon)))
A right now unkown number of Horrors from the S.E.U. series.
The retarded D&D monster squad: A Mimic (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Mimic_(4e_Creature)), a Raffamoffyn (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Raggamoffyn_(4e_Creature)) and a Gelatinous Cube (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Gelatinous_Cube)
Memnarch (http://www.phyrexia.com/continuity/Memnarch.shtml)

[Selrahc]

Well, it's clearly not balanced. Insanowar is never balanced. Even within an army, there isn't any balance. But also part of Insanowar is that that doesn't matter.

Heres what I noticed though, that might actually merit attention:

Moon Called has a unit of 11 genestealers and a broodlord, and then another pick of 10 genestealers, no brood lord. Which seems a bit silly...

Murska picked Fremen on a map without any desert, and only took 8. Which seems too few to me, even though they're good soldiers. If I were him, I'd throw in one of the named Fremen characters. Maybe Muad Dib.

Happy Turtle and Lex both have a lot of joke units. Which is fine... but I hope they have enough proper units to actually battle at some point. Lex Kat a lot more than Happyturtle, since while things like the Smurfs are silly they actually did do some objectively useful things. Flaming Chihuahuas on the other hand.... Well, lets see what you come up with.

Shadowcaller's army seems fine. Mix of silly and useful units in good proportion.

Anyway... that's just my thoughts. Disregard them as you see fit.

[Murska]

Well, the eight are Feydakin, the elite of the Fremen warriors and also taught in the use of Weirding Way. And Muad'Dib is, imho, a bit too important a figure to fit in. Of course, the powers scale...

I just like the number eight best for them, for some reason.

[Lex-Kat]

I only have 4 silly choices.

1} Pat Benatar and her 9 Prostitutes. (distraction, then..... :smallamused:)

2} 5 Onion spies and sabateurs. (They do what sabateurs do best)

3} 12 Lords a-leaping. (but they have shotguns and a grenade)

4} 12 Spam Vikings. (They fling spam, but otherwise fight like normal vikings)

The flaming & flying chihuahuas may seem funny, to those who don't FFRP, but they are rather vicious. Just lookk at those little vicious beasts, then think of them flying over head or spewing fire at ya.

I bet most people would turn tail from a chihuahua that is on fire, as a natural state.

[Darkcomet]

Moon Called has a unit of 11 genestealers and a broodlord, and then another pick of 10 genestealers, no brood lord. Which seems a bit silly...

I assumed that it was due to them having different loadouts.

Or whatever you want to call it for Tyranids.

[Shadowcaller]

I only have 4 silly choices.

1} Pat Benatar and her 9 Prostitutes. (distraction, then..... :smallamused:)

Well, to be fair, how well do they work out with things that don't feel any sexual (or other type) of attraction to human females? Or just not are intrested in them at that time?

[Lex-Kat]

They have guns. :smallsmile:

[Duos]

Shadowcaller's Shadow Legion


Memnarch (http://www.phyrexia.com/continuity/Memnarch.shtml)



Kepp that bloody thing out of thread four.:smalltongue: I'm going to have enough problems with rust and EMP as it is.

[happyturtle]

Game Start

*********************************************

[voice over]
"Once again, the deadly game begins! Who will survive... the fifth season of... INSANOWAR?!"
[/voice over]

"Welcome to Insanowar, where Sufficiently Advanced Aliens (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SufficientlyAdvancedAlien) have used phlebotinum (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AppliedPhlebotinum) to bring heroes from pasts both existent and non-existent and placed them here in an arena to fight to the death (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeadlyGame) for our entertainment! Bob, what kind of action can we expect?"

"Well Trish, Hive Fleet Jabberwock seems to be the strongest in pure combat ability. But The Many Who Must Not Be Named have two very strong heroes in Simo Häyhä and Kvothe. I'd say those are our two front runners."

"What about the Neirian Royal Protectorate?"

"That really depends on what use the Princess can make of her clear canine superiority index. Of course, the chihuahuas will be up against Basement Cat of the Shadow Legion. At that point, it's anyone's call."

"And finally, the Excellent Eighties Ensemble?"

"I'd give them pretty long odds. In addition to their weak combat and defensive capabilities, they are likely to be specifically targeted by the Hive Fleet because of some sort of rivalry that pre-dates this show. In addition, there are rumours of insider backstabbing already being plotted."

"After saying all of that, Bob, who do you think will be the winners?"

"That's easy, Trish. The winners will clearly be the viewers!"

"Oh geez, that's lame, Bob."

"Shut up, I didn't write this crap, I'm just reading the teleprompter. And let's get started now... with

Insanowar Five: HAND JIVE!"


*Bob and Trish pose with Jazz Hands*

[happyturtle]

In the headquarters of the Excellent Eighties Ensemble, Khan looked over his army.

"Our enemies have power. But we have something stronger. We have hate. Hate that has burned through time, awaiting revenge..."

"Bogus, dude." Bill said.

"Yeah totally." Ted agreed. They both air-guitared.

"Stop smurfing around," Papa Smurf said. "We agreed that Khan would be Leader Smurf, and that means we smurfing listen to what he has to smurfing say, even if we find it rather unsmurfy."

"You will address me as Khan, not as Leader Smurf," Khan said. "Papa Smurf, is the assembly line working?"

"Yes, Sir, Leader Smurf Khan! We've ramped up to full production and we'll be ready next turn."

"Ewwww! Leader Smurf! Superman is using his X-ray vision to smurf through my dress!" Smurfette accused.

"Superman? Is this true?"

"... um, no?" As soon as Khan looked away though, Superman winked at Smurfette.

"Superman, you are such a ****. I'm leaving!" Smurfette said, and flounced out of the room.

"Right. We didn't need any girls anyway," Hannibal Smith said, chomping on his cigar. "What's the plan?"

"Smith, take your A-Team and the dancing zombies and head out along the mountains."

"Zombies? Man, those suckas stink." Mr T complained.

"They prefer to be known as the living-impaired," Murdock said.

"Shut up, fool."

"Leonardo, take your team straight down the middle. The Terminator will accompany you. For all of you, the priority is to destroy non-living threats, while capturing living threats and returning them to base. I want the MASH unit on the roof ready to deploy when casualties occur. The rest of you will remain in the base this turn. That is all. Dismissed."

Actions:

1. Smurfette got on Feathers and left the base, headed Northeast. (C3)
2. The A-Team and Dancing Zombies headed out in the off-road GMC van (E6)
3. The Terminator and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles headed out together on foot (D5)
4. The Smurfs are working on something in the base.
5. The MASH's helicopter and battlefield medics are on the roof and ready to move out.
6. Superman is being a ****. Big surprise. (http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=28&Itemid=45)

Still in the base:

Khan and a supply of Ceti eels
Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth.
Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen
A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit
Superman


Map:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png

[Murska]

In the Base:
Kvothe looked at those gathered in the room. They were sitting down around a table, with the map of the battlefield in front of them. Nearest to him, Bast. The boy wasn't quite what he looked like, even though the others present glanced at him like he shouldn't be there. He was the one Kvothe trusted the most to be capable in the group, but that was natural - they had known the longest. Bast was looking around at the faces of others present.

Next to Bast was one of the Troupe. Kvothe had chuckled when he heard the name, with all the connections to his own past, but these odd aliens had demonstrated their unbelievable efficiency in melee combat, and Kvothe did not doubt their ability to go unnoticed either. The being was carefully studying the map already.

The leader of the Fedaykin sat next to the Trouper. Kvothe had noticed that they had suprisingly become rather good friends in the short amount of time they had had together. It was good, improved morale and efficiency in battle. The Fedaykin were also some of the best melee warriors he had ever seen, and proficient with guns aswell. They could hide perfectly in a desert area, but wouldn't be out-of-place anywhere else either. He was also looking at the map, pointing out something to the Trouper.

The next person at the table wore black, with a red symbol. Kvothe frowned as he looked at him. The man was a veteran of many battles and an excellent pilot, but his fanaticism didn't really help the situation. After being transported here, away from Kane, he had turned it to Kvothe and would die for him. Useful, but not very comforting. He sat motionless, looking back at Kvothe.

The... creature, sitting next to him, was something else entirely. She had mottled green skin, covered by a glossy, protective carapace. Her bright yellow eyes gazed back at Kvothe unnervingly, and the segmented stalks in her hair moved around, like searching for a target. Her 'wings', consisting of elongated, segmented spikes, shook slightly. But the worst of all, she was still recognizable as the woman she had been. Sarah Kerrigan was studying Kvothe much like he was studying her.

Kvothe quickly moved his gaze on, settling it on the next person. Or people, he should say. Reno and Rude were their names, and they seemed unseparable. They had quickly become if not friends, then at least aquaintances with everyone else present, aswell. And they were strong enough to match it up with the Fedaykin, that much he had seen. Not to mention, very resourceful. Useful people to have on your side.
The one on the left, Reno, was sporting a red hair, ending in a long ponytail, and two symmetrical red tattoos on his cheekbones. He wore goggles on his forehead and wasn't anything to take lightly, despite his lanky physique. The other man, Rude, was a tall, bald, strong-looking man. He was wearing sunglasses, even though they were inside, and was also a formidable combatant. He was more quiet than Reno, but had a sense of humor and took pride in his work.

The next 'man', Greed, was grinning as he studied the others around the table. He also wore sunglasses, and had a short, black hair. He had an odd tattoo on his left hand. The man had proven rather arrogant, but as he had understood the situation, he would work for them for as long as it took to get away. His group also worshipped him, and would do anything for him. He was quite possibly the strongest physical combatant present, although the Trouper leader was close.

The next man was wearing a pilot uniform. He was a medium-sized man, in his thirties, and was looking around, especially at Kerrigan, somewhat oddly. He was the 'captain' of the Avenger, which was a formidable vehicle, and also commanded the crews of the Firestorms. He, as well as their whole crew, had basic training with guns but their main skills laid in piloting their vehicles and the fact that many of them were accomplished engineers, capable of fixing equipment and rigging together working items from alien parts.

And the last person left. Simo Häyhä was his name, he was a very inconspicuous person, short and without any very noticeable features, especially when compared to the rest of them. He was a farmer and a hunter, and at first Kvothe had been wondering what he was doing there. But then he had shown him why he was also the most accomplished sniper in his world. The man didn't seem like he could miss. After defeating the leader of the Troupe in a marksmanship competition, they had gifted him a weapon that scared even Kvothe himself. Spinneret Rifle, capable of firing a rigid monofilament string straight through almost any armour and then unwrapping inside the target, liquedifying it. Häyhä had taken to it quickly, torn off the scope and modified it to fit himself and now wielded it like a professional. He was smoking and looking at the map.

Kvothe decided it was time. He raised his voice: "Okay everyone. You can see the map, and you can see the bases of our enemy. We'll have to start by securing our own perimeter properly and gaining more information on our enemies, before we can start actual assault operations. The best case scenario would of course be the enemies fighting amongst themselves, but we cannot rely on that. Instead, we had better prepare as if they were all against us."

Kerrigan's voice echoed in all their minds, shocking some of them, especially the Avenger pilot. /Sensible strategy. We should also attempt to open some kinds of communication lines to the other sides. Diplomacy and manipulation are very useful in a situation like this./

"That has been taken into account. Now, first of all, we should take control over that fell near our base. Häyhä, find a position near it where you can overlook the area and provide support fire."

"Understood." Häyhä stopped smoking and gathered his rifle. "I'll be going then."

"Fedaykin, Troupe, go with him and get used to the terrain. Don't attack enemies unless they threaten our units or positions."

"Our airforce should work together. Create a patrol route close around our base. Venoms should use their detectors, who knows what kinds of stealth systems our enemies might have."

"And the rest of us should stay inside the base for now, although be ready to move out on command, especially our anti-air units. I'll be assuming command of the Cybrans."

This was the sign, everyone left the room and went back to their own units. They spread around the base, often still mistrustful of their allies, and started practicing for what was sure to become a fight for their lives. The airforce took off, while Häyhä stepped out of the gate, followed by the Fedaykin and the Troupers, both of them moving in a single group and even talking with each other. The gate closed after them.

Kvothe walked to an empty spot in the base. "Deceiver, deactivate." Suddenly, a large force of units became visible. A medium-sized vehicle in the middle of them, six small robotic creatures, four tanks with AA-guns pointed at the sky and two massive heavy walkers. Kvothe examined them and started formulating a plan...

Units:Kvothe and Bast
Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle
4 Harlequin Troupers
8 Fremen Fedaykin
A Cybran group: Deceiver along with six Fire Beetles, two Loyalists and four Bangers
A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms upgraded with Supercharged Particle Beams and Signature Generators
Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks.
Reno and Rude
Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel
Avenger and two Firestorms from X-Com

Actions: Häyhä, Troupers and Fedaykin moved to the fell near my base, the Troupers and Fedaykin spreading out somewhat around it while Häyhä took a position on it. The Avenger, Firestorms and Venoms started patrolling the airspace between my base, the southeastern lake and the north lake. All units are under orders to not attack unless provoked. The rest of my stuff stays in base.

Map: http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png

[happyturtle]

"Wow, what exciting first turns by The Ensemble and The Many!"

"You're kidding, right Bob? I mean, nothing happened. Shouldn't they have had a fight by now?"

"Damn it, Trish, I told you, I have to say what the teleprompter tells me to say."

"Bah. I ignore the damn thing."

"Yes, but your mommy owns the network. You can afford to piss off the producers."

"Shut up, Bob! I worked hard for this job!"

"Yeah right."

"Oh, that's it..."

*Trish leaps on Bob's back and begins ripping out his hair.*

*Ratings go through the roof.*



[voice over]

Coming up: First turn actions by the Neirian Royal Protectorate and the Hive Fleet Jabberwock, with the Shadow Legion finishing out the Turn! More excitement on Insanowar Five after the break!

[/voice over]

[Lex-Kat]

Inside the Princess Lexington's Castle, Lex is watching her favorite cartoon, Tinkerbell. Hah ha ha!! That girl just cracks me up. She tosses a piece of popcorn in the air and easily catches.

Just then, a lone onion rolls in. The spies are on their way, Princess. They should be at their target within the next day.

Very well. She eats some more popcorn.

The onion rolls away.

A pixie archer flies into the room. She half bows before her princess. Princess Lex, There's a female smurf flying into our territory. Shall we dispatch the Flying Chihuahuas?

Lex sits up at this. She thinks hard. It may be a trap. Send W.I.T.C.H. to engage her. If she surrenders, bring her back here. If not, have them show her no mercy.

W.I.T.C.H. immediately heads out.
++++++++++++++++

On top of the castle, Nikolai Tesla puts the finishing touches on his Death Ray. There, perfect. With this, we should be able to stop anyone from getting too close to our beloved Princess Lex.

Yes, and we are here to protect you, Sir Tesla. says one of the Lord a-Leaping.

Good, good. Now go down below and leave me be for a while. I need to work on this. He stares down at his latest project.
+++++++++++++++

Down below, Rayne is talking to Pat Benatar. So, I was wondering, with so many graet songs to choose from, why do you always sing "Love is a Battlefield" when you enter into battle?

Well, they, Pat nods toward the 9 girls. only fight to that song. I tried "You Better Run", but they turned tail and ran the other way. And "Hit me with your Best Shot?" Pat shudders. They turned on me and tried to kill me.
+++++++++++++++++

Just heading out of the castle seaway, the Spam Vikings began to make their way down the Krysta River toward the Neirian River.

Spam Spam Spam!!! Spamity Spaaaaaaam!! Spamity Spam!!

Actions

The Onion Spies have been sent out to spy on someone. (I will indicate their intended target(s) tomorrow. (??)
W.I.T.C.H. has been sent out to greet Smurfette. (E2)
Nikolai Tesla is set and ready to fire upon any intruding upon Neirian territory.
Pat Benatar is having a chat with Rayne.
The Spam Vikings have begun to patrol the Neirian waterways. (E2 just entering F2


Lex-Kat's Neirian Royal Protectorate

Princess Lexington III (DarkOrchid) and a contingent of 50 pixie archers (DeepSkyBlue)
24 flaming chihuahuas
30 flying chihuahuas
Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitutes. (Navy)
5 Onion spies/saboteurs. (SeaGreen)
12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each. (Magenta)
Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of (DarkRed, DarkOrange, Olive, Blue, Teal) W.I.T.C.H. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.I.T.C.H.).
Crew of 12 Spam Vikings (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE). (Sienna)
The Dhampir, Rayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rayne_(BloodRayne)), from the BloodRayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BloodRayne) series. (Red)
Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Tesla) (DimGray) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_ray).


Da map:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png

[happyturtle]

"Well, Bob, Hive Fleet Jabberwock is certainly taking their time."

"Indeed they are, Trish. If they don't act soon, they'll face a penalty for delay of game."

"What's the penalty, Bob?"

"Something dreadful, you can be sure."

"How dreadful?"

"Let's just say it will be worse than the infamous potato incident and leave it at that."

"Oh. Oh my."

[Mr. Moon]

((I'm sorry guys, I've got a hell of a lot on my plate right now. Kick me out or wait forever for me to get a behemoth post together, take your pick.))

[Shadowcaller]

Memnarch's journal - Day 1

Memnarch has arrived at a new world.
Don't know how he got here, sorrunded by puny minds that wish to work with him. Memnarch have better things to do! Memnarch has world to take care of!

He have been informed by the master that once he is done here, he will be home. But Memnarch will not wait, Memnarch will take this world too, there are many intresting test subjects, one of them must have the spark, they must have...

Memnarch is blind here, only the master see what is going on. There is a war, some are thinking they can kill a god? They should worship me, this must be punished, Memnarch see it all so clearly.

Memnarch have many minions, weak fleshy ones. Ordered Rat- Specimen to find and kill those who trepasses in Memnarch's new home. It claims it serves others but did it non-the-less.

Machines made of brown plant material and magic where send out too, along with a fleshy dragon and some other fleshy being that rode upon it, unimportant details.

Then a other fleshy being, much like the one riding on the flesh dragon left the base looking for a "bigger gun". Puny minds.

The rest stays here to serve Memnarch, they do not understand the great plan Memnarch and the master has, but they will be a part of it.

Put all strange creatures around the generator and the walls. The black feline creature is hiding in the basement, the worms are on the walls of this place.

The shapeshifters have left too, Memnarch must know where they went...

Summary
My units moved a bit.

Shadow Legion (Locations)

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni - E7
Basement Cat - in the basement of the base
4 Worms - on the walls closest to the gate.
Doom Guy (http://www.bamkapow.com/the-official-doom-comic-book-from-96-1765-p.html) - D8
Temeraire + Laurence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temeraire_(series)) - D7
20 Orcish Demolishers (http://www.wowwiki.com/Demolisher) with the burning oil upgrade. (from warcraft 3: the frozen throne) -D8
Three random pokemons from the first and the second game. (Evee (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Eevee_(Pokémon)), Ekans (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ekans_(Pokémon)) and Wobbuffet (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Wobbuffet_(Pokémon))) - Protecting the shield generator
4 Horrors from the S.E.U. series - C8
The retarded D&D monster squad: A Mimic (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Mimic_(4e_Creature)), a Raffamoffyn (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Raggamoffyn_(4e_Creature)) and a Gelatinous Cube (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Gelatinous_Cube) - The cube is at D8, the others are protecting the gate (from the outside)
Memnarch (http://www.phyrexia.com/continuity/Memnarch.shtml) - at the shield generator

[happyturtle]

"Bob, we've just heard from the producers that the Hive Fleet Jabberwock has been given until the end of the weekend to take their first turn."

"What happens if they don't, Trish?"

"They'll be locked up in their base this turn, where they'll be forced to feed on their own troops and incur casualties by cannibalism."

"Ouch!"

"Actually, I was thinking... Yum!" :smallamused:

[Darkcomet]

"Bob, we've just heard from the producers that the Hive Fleet Jabberwock has been given until the end of the weekend to take their first turn."

"What happens if they don't, Trish?"

"They'll be locked up in their base this turn, where they'll be forced to feed on their own troops and incur casualties by cannibalism."

"Ouch!"

"Actually, I was thinking... Yum!" :smallamused:

Actually, given MC's theme, that kind of makes sense...

[Mr. Moon]

In one corner off the dome, a squirrel has stopped in its tracks, staring up into the sky.

And what it was staring at was a most curious thing. The sky was covered what appeared to be red clouds. Small bits of the pseudo-clouds slowly drifted to the ground, and seem to be absorbed by the plants and dirt it touches. A moment passes, and then the ground gives a shudder. Suddenly, the undergrowth of the forest shoots up, twining up above the ground, so thick that the earth is barely visible.

The squirrel scolds the sudden explosion of plant life, throwing an acorn into a nearby bush from it's perch on a tree, when another motion catches it's eye.

Something green. Several green somethings. Dozens and dozens of them, up in the sky. Speeding closer to the squirrel, to the ground.
Hitting with enough force to penetrate the dense undergrowth. Leaving craters in the earth.

Now that they were on the ground, the squirrel could get a better look at them. They looked like flower bulbs. Giant, green and yellow tulips, stretching into a large, rough circle. Some were over sixteen feet tall, the smallest about five feet.

In the centre, the second-largest bulb slowly blooms, revealing a giant, pseudo-humanoid creature, with a huge jaw and a bright green exoskeleton, with black markings along the edges of each plate. As it steps from the flowery casing, translucent gloop oozes down it's shells, hitting the ground. Glorp, shlurk. In it's hands, if one could say that, for two out of it's four hands seemed to have been replaced to make room for weapons, was a mass of flesh, long and almost worm-like, a sword like blade of bone replaced the hand opposite the whip. The top two hands where hands indeed, except it's fingernails were more akin to spikes, long and wickedly pointed talons. The Hive Tyrant looks around itself, and throws back its head to let out a horrific, grating shriek, that echoes through the forest, dislodging several birds.

As if on cue, the other bulbs peel open, revealing each of them hold their own monstrosity.
The two closest to the Hive Tyrant open to show a pair of hunched over creatures, a thick carapace covering where their eyes should be, leaving them with a head that was made up of only a huge maw, with rows of wickedly pointed teeth. They scuttle around the Hive Tyrant, like baby ducks, using their spike-clawed lower arms to support themselves, moving somewhat like apes, leaving a trail of slime behind them. Two upper arms boasted razor-sharp extrusions of bone, shaped like a scythe.

Next to these three was the largest bulb of all, nearly eighteen feet tall. The petals fold down, to show a hulking behemoth, a walking weapon. Hunched over, it's head was at about the level of a very tall man, but it's chitinous back-plates rise to almost twenty feet, dripping the same yellowy goop. A trio of sharp tusks framed a maw that dripped a bright yellow liquid that burnt the ground when it touched it. It's four arms consist of a pair of wickedly long and cruelly curved scythes, paired with two large crab-like claws, big enough to easily crush a man. A long tail swayed behind it, a razor-sharp bone-blade growing out on either side of the hardened tip in a wicked scythe. This, this was the Jaberwok, the deadly, fearsome creature from which Hive Fleet Jaberwok took it's name.

Near the Jaberwok, another trio of bulbs have opened. Unfurling their wings, their bodies become visible. Mildly humanoid, they stand on two legs with four arms, following the usual pattern, right down to the green-and-black exoskeleton. Each of them bore a different set of weapons. The first two had the same set of wickedly curved talons and a gun that seemed to move on it's own. In fact, it did, a bright yellow eye scanning the forest around it. Each of these new Warriors bore a gun simmaler to this one, although each looked different in some way. The third Warrior's melee weapon were the same spike-like talons that the Hive Tyrant had. They throw themselves into the air, circling up above.

Following the Warriors, a unit of strange, winged creatures, their bodies not unlike that of a cricket, only bright green and black, with heads that featured huge jaws dripping with some yellow liquid that sizzles as it hits the ground, and arms that had been replaced with small guns that seemed to move on their own, the same yellow eye peering out at it's surroundings. As soon as they are free from their bulbs, they spread their wings, the same translucent yellow goop flying out into the air as they do so, and launch themselves into the air, weaving around the Warriors.

The next trio to emerge from their flowery drop pods might be described as somewhat Lovecraftian horrors: Lictors. Their thick carapaces spiked and dripping ooze, a long tail with a razor sharp sickle of bone on the tip of it's tail. It's lower arms are hideously clawed, the upper ones sporting nastily spiked scything talons. Their mouths had been replaced with a mass of tendrils that twisted like a mass of snakes.

Next to them came nine snake-tailed monsters, their legs converted to scything talons to match those on it's arms and the tip of their tails bearing a talon that opened and closed wickedly. The nine Raveners look up at the Lictors, as if seeking direction.

Finally, the last and largest group of Tyranids: first comes the leader, far more humanoid than any of the other Tyranids. In fact, from far enough away, in the dark, only the four arms and three-foot-long tongue would distinguish it from a human. Much like the other monsters around it, the Broodlord's upper arms consisted of a pair of wickedly taloned hands, the lower arms wielding the same pair of razor-sharp blades of bone, scything talons. Around it, much shorter, hunched over creatures, Genestealers, milled around it's feet, scything talons dripping ooze and rending claws wickedly sharp. Some of the Genestealers bore simmaler tendril-mouths to the Lictors, but the majority of them had jaws with wickedly sharp fangs for teeth.

Now, all the tulip bulbs have been emptied. The Hive Tyrant leans back, letting out another fierce screech, quickly picked up by its fellows, the cry carried on until the forest seems to be filled with the primal, spine chilling cry of a hundred monsters about to feast. When the call dies down, the Hive Tyrant stands tall, looking at the rest of Hive Fleet Jaberwok with placid yellow eyes. The orders are not spoken, but transmitted through it's mind from the living ships that orbited the planet, passing through the Hive Mind fast as lightening.

With one last circle, the Warriors and Gargoyals shoot off to the North.
The Lictors stalk into the forest in three different directions and quickly vanishing in the undergrowth.
The Raveners begin to dig, tunnelling into the ground with blinding efficiency.
The Broodlord takes all but ten Genstealers off, following behind one of the Lictors.
The Jaberwok, the Hive Tyrant, and the last ten Genestealrs stay put.

Actions
Hive Fleet Jaberwok is moving out. For the most part.
Units, and locations:
1. Hive Tyrant & two Tyrant Guards: 9H
2. The Jaberwok: 9H
3. Genestealer unit 1 (ten)
4. Three Tyranid Warriors: 8G
5. Thirty Tyranid Gargoyles: 8G
6. Broodlord with retinue of 11 Genestealers: 8H
7. Ten more Genestealers:One unit, three
8. Lictors: Split up. First: 9G Second and third: 8H
9. One unit of 5 Raveners: Underground, location unknown
10. One unit of 4 Raveners: Underground, location unknown

[happyturtle]

End of Turn One
Status Report

Unit locations:

Excellent Eighties Ensemble

1. Khan and a supply of Ceti eels Base
2. Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth.
3. The Terminator D5
4. The A-Team, with their van (equipped for off-road), tools, weapons, and ammo E6
5. 21 dancing zombies from Thriller (but without Michael Jackson) E6
6. The Smurfs and some of their allies Base
7. Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen Base
8. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles D5
9. A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit Roof of Base
10. Superman Base
11. Smurfette and Feathers C3

The Many Who Must Not Be Named

Kvothe and Bast
Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle H5
4 Harlequin Troupers H5
8 Fremen Fedaykin H5
A Cybran group: Deceiver along with six Fire Beetles, two Loyalists and four Bangers
A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms upgraded with Supercharged Particle Beams and Signature Generators F5/G5-ish
Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks.
Reno and Rude
Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel
Avenger and two Firestorms from X-Com F5/G5-ish

Neirian Royal Protectorate

1. Princess Lexington III (DarkOrchid) and a contingent of 50 pixie archers (DeepSkyBlue)
2. 24 flaming chihuahuas
3. 30 flying chihuahuas
4. Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitutes. (Navy)
5. 5 Onion spies/saboteurs. (SeaGreen)
6. 12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each. (Magenta)
7. Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of (DarkRed, DarkOrange, Olive, Blue, Teal) W.I.T.C.H.. E2
8. Crew of 12 Spam Vikings. (Sienna) E2/F2
9. The Dhampir, Rayne, from the BloodRayne series. (Red)
10. Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (DimGray) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray.



Shadow Legion

1. Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni - E7
2. Basement Cat - in the basement of the base
3. 4 Worms - on the walls closest to the gate.
4. Doom Guy - D8
5. Temeraire + Laurence - D7
6. 20 Orcish Demolishers with the burning oil upgrade. (from warcraft 3: the frozen throne) -D8
7. Three random pokemons from the first and the second game. (Evee, Ekans and Wobbuffet) - Protecting the shield generator
8. 4 Horrors from the S.E.U. series - C8
9. The retarded D&D monster squad: A Mimic, a Raffamoffyn and a Gelatinous Cube - The cube is at D8, the others are protecting the gate (from the outside)
10. Memnarch - at the shield generator

Hive Fleet Jaberwok

1. Hive Tyrant & two Tyrant Guards: 9H
2. The Jaberwok: 9H
3. Genestealer unit 1 (ten)
4. Three Tyranid Warriors: 8G
5. Thirty Tyranid Gargoyles: 8G
6. Broodlord with retinue of 11 Genestealers: 8H
7. Ten more Genestealers:One unit, three
8. Lictors: Split up. First: 9G Second and third: 8H
9. One unit of 5 Raveners: Underground, location unknown
10. One unit of 4 Raveners: Underground, location unknown

To make this update easier for me next turn, please give a unit list in the following format when you make your post:

Name of Army

1. First unit Location
2. Second unit location
3. Third unit Location Destroyed
4. Fourth unit Unknown
etc.

If some of your units split up, like Smurfette split off from the rest of the smurfs, then just add another number to the bottom of the list. It's not important that the numbering be consistent from one turn to the rest.

Please keep dead/destroyed units on the list with their location, in case people are raising undead / looting corpses / scavenging for parts etc. If someone is completely vaporized, then state that rather than removing them from the list.

Map:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png

[happyturtle]

Excellent Eighties Ensemble

A full size tractor trailer drives out of the base. There doesn't appear to be anyone behind the wheel. Unless you look closer and see that there is a secondary cockpit on the dashboard of the main one, perfectly sized with smurf sized steering wheel, pedals, gear shift, and everything else one needs to operate a truck. Behind the smurf wheel is Trucker Smurf.

He radios back to base. "Trucker Smurf ready with the first shipment from Smurf Factory, Leader Smurf."

"My name is Khan, not Leader Smurf," Khan says, in a 'you should die now' voice, and cuts the connection.

He turns to Superman. "The blue vermin have completed their first task. Get to work."

After a moment, Superman flies out of the base and picks up the entire truck.

"What the Smurf?!"

"Don't worry, I've got you," Superman says.

"You've got me? Who's got YOU?" :smalleek:

He flies around the Eighties territory punching holes in the ground. In each hole, he places one of the items from the truck:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_5M0BEZry3do/SWJjO6cALmI/AAAAAAAABXc/I50QEYvdTLs/s400/Jokey+Smurf.gif

A gift-wrapped package that explodes when opened, modified to act as a land mine. Even with super-speed, it'll take him a while to plant them all.

*************************

The A-Team van containing, as may be expected, the A-Team, as well as 21 dancing zombies. The zombies are trying to dance, despite the lack of space. It doesn't work very well, but they are all very well coordinated as they writhe about.

"Quit that wriggle-wraggling, fools!" Mr T growls. :smallfurious:

"They wouldn't be dancing if Murdock would turn off the radio," Face points out. :smallannoyed:

"The vote to have music was 22 in favour and 3 against!" Murdock says.

"You let the zombies vote!" :smallmad:

"The living impaired have rights too!"

"Yeah, they have the right to stop stinking up my van!" :smallfurious:

And the van draws ever closer to where Ink-Eyes watches them...


*************************

"Boys! They're all so mean!" Smurfette rants. "They all smurf names based on what they are good at. Handy Smurf. Tracker Smurf. Alchemist Smurf. What do they smurf me? Smurfette! It might as well be 'Girly Smurf'! It's like the only thing important about me is that I don't have a Trouser Smurf!"

About that time, she finds herself surrounded by the W.I.T.C.H. team.

"Smurfing Smurf?" :smalleek:

*************************

The Terminator and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles continue heading east, and eventually cross into snow covered territory.

"Awesome!"

"Radical!"

"Gnarly!"

"Cowabunga!"

The TMNTs all pull out snowboards from Hammerspace and take off.

"Where are you going? This does not help us complete our objective." Terminator states.

They don't listen.


Locations:
Excellent Eighties Ensemble

Khan and a supply of Ceti eels Base
Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth. Base
Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen Base
The Smurfs and some of their allies Base
A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit Roof of Base

The Terminator F5
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles G5

The A-Team, with their van (equipped for off-road), tools, weapons, and ammo E7
21 dancing zombies from Thriller (but without Michael Jackson) E7

Superman and Trucker Smurf Airborne over Eighties Territory

Smurfette and Feathers D5


What Happened:
1. Superman is planting land mines all over the home territory.
2. Ink Eyes has found the A-Team and Zombies, but they remain oblivious.
3. Terminator and TMNTs have crossed into the deadly snowfields of The Many
4. Smurfette and Feathers have been surrounded by W.I.T.C.H.
5. Khan's hate burns ever stronger
6. The Smurf production line has started working on something else

A Random Picture:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/posters/gurps.jpg

[Murska]

The Many who must not be named!


Near the top border of H6

Nothing moves... a pure white scenery, blotted by dark green trees. Somewhere, the shapes of the ground underneath the snow manage to break through. A frozen lake, blown clear of snow by the freezing wind. This environment is harsh, and very deadly to anyone unprepared.

The camera zooms in to some movement down below. A white-grey shadow creeping forwards in the middle of the unmoving snow. And as the eye gets used to it, the distant observer picks up more details. There are actually four moving figures.

Häyhä had spent a while instructing the Fremen about the ways of survival in extreme cold. They were resilient people, used to a tough environment, but the challenge was very different out in the deserts of Arrakis and here, in the middle of water in it's less friendly form. The Fedaykin had taken to the area better than might be assumed.

They had served the Emperor on his crusade across the galaxy, and had seen other environments. Their leader had even been on an ice planet during a raid to a rebelling Sardaukar group. But still, as they had seen the surroundings of the base, the youngest of them had cracked jokes about having to survive in the middle of enough water to supply a Sietch for years.

Those jokes had died quickly once they had realized just exactly how cold it was. Their suits were made to not waste any water and to protect from the outside heat, and the people at the base had slightly modified them to make them more cold-resistant and to add white-grey camouflaging. The Fedaykin had trained movement in snow for a while, but this was not quite their element. Still, even out of their element, they were formidable warriors, and an untrained eye wouldn't have noticed their movements through the wilderness.

They had separated into two groups. One was to scout and create a defensive perimeter along the riverbank to the south while the other was sent the opposite way to do the same near the lake. The middle of the area would be held by Häyhä, who, with his long range scope, would be able to spot any approaching enemies long before they were even close.

Summary:Häyhä is on the fell(H5), spotting for intruders. Fedaykin have split in two groups, four went to the north river(G4/H4) and four to the south one(G6-H6), scouting, very difficult to see and camouflaged, orders not to engage but to relay information and prepare for a retaliation in force if necessary.

In the air

The observer in the sky might jump a bit, as suddenly the camera's view is blocked by the wing of an aircraft. The craft looks like an odd mixture of old 'flying saucer'-type UFOs and human jetfighters. It's elegant curves hide a functional design created for speed and firepower at the cost of long-range staying power in engagements. It's also capable of carrying men and equipment quickly and efficiently where they needed to go, and still able to take some fire doing it.

Another of it's kind flew in a formation with it. They had completed the lap near the southern edge of the snow and were returning towards the Avenger, which was stationed near the middle, to begin a new route.

Meanwhile, in a location some way to the North, another air patrol was making it's rounds. Black, with red markings, the Venom VTOL light aircraft were sleek, with an extremely aerodynamic form. Their particle beams were the exclusive upgrades for the Marked of Kane, and the signature generators would make anyone using a radar against them run home to their mommy. Transmitting scans of the ground underneath to the cybernetic enhancements in the brains of their pilots, they would instantly be aware of any enemy activity whatsoever in the area.

The Venoms, piloted by the Marked of Kane, were determined in their task. This was Kane's will, and Kane's will was to be obeyed. The venoms split into groups of two to cover the ground more quickly, before linking up again, returning back towards the base, soon to depart on another patrol, singleminded in their devotion.

The Avenger has picked up the Harlequins from the fell and then floated back to it's position, as a rapid deployment deterrant force.

Summary:The Avenger is floating midway between the fell and my base, the Harlequins are onboard.(Border of H5-I5) The Venoms are scouting the northern area.(Flying around the Avenger's position, edge of F4, H3 and back)
The Firestorms are scouting the south. (Avenger - lake at F6 - I6)

Base

The gate opens... but nothing seems to come through. Oh, no, there's tracks appearing to the ground. It appears the Cybrans are moving. The Deceiver stops in front of the base as the vehicles leave it's stealth field's range. The four anti-air vehicles have all been camouflaged for winter weather, and move out towards the fell. They entrench in key positions for maximum anti-air coverage, and any aerial units approaching the fell would be under a hail of guided missile fire from four different locations along with any aerial response The Many shall procure. Meanwhile, the two Loyalists settle near the gate, under mounds of snow, watching, waiting...

As the Deceiver retreats back inside, the gate closes again.

ACTION!

Häyhä patiently waits with his rifle, scanning the area in front... there! A blur of motion. He radioes the Avenger while attempting to identify the enemy. "They seem to be some sort of... snowboarding... ninja... turtles?" Häyhä rubs his eyes. "Er. Yeah, snowboarding ninja turtles, coming this way fast. Requesting support, over."
After a dozen or so confirmations, each from a higher tier of command hierarchy(And nobody knows how they established a dozen tiers high command hierarchy...), the orders are finally sent to intercept and annihilate.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The TMNT are snowboarding towards the fell they see in the distance, for, logically, it's slopes would be the best place for some real gnarly tricks. Michelangelo carves a bitchin' Spinner off a mound of snow, grinning at the applause of his peers, when suddenly, something almost invisible speeds through the air, impacting him. In moments, a spray of gore as he liquedifies from the inside. Häyhä marks a notch. "Target down."

"Grody to the max!"
"Ew!"
"What was that? Michelangelo?"

As the turtles start to turn back, the Venoms arrive to the scene with the Avenger. Particle beams carve through the board Leonardo quickly raises for defense and he collapses. Rockets impact under the snow under the other Turtles, who fall, as the Harlequins drop from the Avenger. The Troupe leader starts a solo as his blades dance through the Turtles before they can react. In mere moments the group is wiped out.

The orders come through to grab anything useful and get back to their posts. This was a kill or be killed situation, and the defenses mustn't be left unattended. Soon, just some small craters, a large bloodstain and three mutilated corpses mark the spot.

Summary: The TMNT was annihilated. Häyhä - 1 kill.

Army Status:
1. Kvothe and Bast Base
2. Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle On fell in H5
3. Four Harlequin Troupers In Avenger in border of H5/I5
4 Four Fremen Fedaykin Scouting along the river F4 - I4
4.5 Four Fremen Fedaykin Scouting along the river and lakes F6 - I6
5. A Cybran group: Deceiver along with six Fire Beetles Base
5.5 Two Loyalists Near entrance of gate in I5, hidden under snow
5.75 Four Bangers Entrenched and camouflaged in snow around the edges of H5
6. A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms Patrolling H3-F4-H5
7. Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks. Base
8. Reno and Rude Base
9. Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel Base
10. Avenger H5
10.33... Two Firestorms from X-Com Patrolling I6-F6-H5

[happyturtle]

Turn 2.3
Status Report

Unit locations:

Excellent Eighties Ensemble


Excellent Eighties Ensemble

1. Khan and a supply of Ceti eels Base
2. Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth. Base
3. Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen Base
4. The Smurfs and some of their allies Base
5. A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit Roof of Base
6. The Terminator F5
7. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles G5 [Annihilated and corpses looted]
8. The A-Team, with their van (equipped for off-road), tools, weapons, and ammo E7
9. 21 dancing zombies from Thriller (but without Michael Jackson) E7
10. Superman and Trucker Smurf Airborne over Eighties Territory
11. Smurfette and Feathers D5



The Many Who Must Not Be Named

1. Kvothe and Bast Base
2. Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle On fell in H5
3. Four Harlequin Troupers In Avenger in border of H5/I5
4 Four Fremen Fedaykin Scouting along the river F4 - I4
4.5 Four Fremen Fedaykin Scouting along the river and lakes F6 - I6
5. A Cybran group: Deceiver along with six Fire Beetles Base
5.5 Two Loyalists Near entrance of gate in I5, hidden under snow
5.75 Four Bangers Entrenched and camouflaged in snow around the edges of H5
6. A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms Patrolling H3-F4-H5
7. Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks. Base
8. Reno and Rude Base
9. Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel Base
10. Avenger H5
10.33... Two Firestorms from X-Com Patrolling I6-F6-H5

Neirian Royal Protectorate

1. Princess Lexington III (DarkOrchid) and a contingent of 50 pixie archers (DeepSkyBlue)
2. 24 flaming chihuahuas
3. 30 flying chihuahuas
4. Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitutes. (Navy)
5. 5 Onion spies/saboteurs. (SeaGreen)
6. 12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each. (Magenta)
7. Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of (DarkRed, DarkOrange, Olive, Blue, Teal) W.I.T.C.H.. D5
8. Crew of 12 Spam Vikings. (Sienna) E2/F2
9. The Dhampir, Rayne, from the BloodRayne series. (Red)
10. Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (DimGray) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray.



Shadow Legion

1. Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni - E7
2. Basement Cat - in the basement of the base
3. 4 Worms - on the walls closest to the gate.
4. Doom Guy - D8
5. Temeraire + Laurence - D7
6. 20 Orcish Demolishers with the burning oil upgrade. (from warcraft 3: the frozen throne) -D8
7. Three random pokemons from the first and the second game. (Evee, Ekans and Wobbuffet) - Protecting the shield generator
8. 4 Horrors from the S.E.U. series - C8
9. The retarded D&D monster squad: A Mimic, a Raffamoffyn and a Gelatinous Cube - The cube is at D8, the others are protecting the gate (from the outside)
10. Memnarch - at the shield generator

Hive Fleet Jaberwok

1. Hive Tyrant & two Tyrant Guards: 9H
2. The Jaberwok: 9H
3. Genestealer unit 1 (ten)
4. Three Tyranid Warriors: 8G
5. Thirty Tyranid Gargoyles: 8G
6. Broodlord with retinue of 11 Genestealers: 8H
7. Ten more Genestealers:One unit, three
8. Lictors: Split up. First: 9G Second and third: 8H
9. One unit of 5 Raveners: Underground, location unknown
10. One unit of 4 Raveners: Underground, location unknown

To make this update easier for me next turn, please give a unit list in the following format when you make your post:

Name of Army

1. First unit Location
2. Second unit location
3. Third unit Location Destroyed
4. Fourth unit Unknown
etc.

If some of your units split up, like Smurfette split off from the rest of the smurfs, then just add another number to the bottom of the list. It's not important that the numbering be consistent from one turn to the rest.

Please keep dead/destroyed units on the list with their location, in case people are raising undead / looting corpses / scavenging for parts etc. If someone is completely vaporized, then state that rather than removing them from the list.

Map:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png[/QUOTE]

[Lex-Kat]

Neirian Royal Protectorate

Will, the leader of W.I.T.C.H. flies upto Smurfette. Who are you. What are you doing here?

"I'm Smurfette. I just needed to smurf off for a while. Stupid boys...."

Irma: Smurf Off? What's that?

"Superman was trying to smurf a look, and the boys said the Smurf factory was no girls allowed, and khan has that whole "I smurfing hate you all" vibe going on. I just needed to get away."

Irma: Oh I think I get.... That Pervert!! I never liked that Superman guy.

Cornelia: Yeah, he was always trying to peak down my top at the superhero convention last year.

Hay Lin: He flies so well though.

"He does not! Aviator Smurf is much better at flying!" Smurfette says loyally.

Terani: Sooooo, you fled to our territory? How do we know you're not just a spy?

Will just looks Smurfette over.

"Your territory? What do you mean? I'm Smurfette, not Spy Smurf!" *eek face*

Cornelia: That's exactly what a Spy Smurf would say. Thick vines leap from the ground and grab for Smurfette. Wrapping around her wrists and legs.

"Smurfing smurf! What the smurf?!"

Will: We'll take her back for interogation.

The vines pull out of the ground and Cornelia uses them to create a net to hold Smurfette in. But just as they are closing the net, Feathers flies out.

Hay Lin: The birds getting away!!

Will: Never mind her, we have Smurfette. She's the one Princess Lexington wished to talk to.

((Previous Narration Co-written by Happyturtle. :smallsmile:))


+++++++++++++
Inside Princess Lexington's Castle, Lex is informed of Smurfette's capture. Good. Take her to interrogation room 1. I'll deal with her myself.

The lone onion, henceforth known as Vidalia, rolls in. Two of our spies have successfully infiltrated our enemies defenses, Princess.

Leader Smurf's, I mean Kahn's forces, successfully took Onion One in with their food supply.

Onion Two was able to hide amongst the loot taken from the TMNT unit, and is currently heading back toward The Many's base, we assume.

Onion Three is having difficulty entering Memnoch's base. She believes that they don't particularly like onions.

Onion Fours wherabouts are unknown at this time. I feart the worse, Princess.

Princess Lex thought a moment. Well, not as good as I'd hoped. But hopefully we'll recieve some information on our foes.

Send Rayne and half of the Flaming Chihuahuas to scout into the Jaberwok's Territory. Princess Lex goes back to watching Snow White.

((NOTE: The onions 1 to 4, are all telepathically bonded to Vidalia. So anything one sees, Vidalia sees.))


+++++++++++++
Rayne and 12 Flaming Chihuahuas head out for Jaberwok territory. It'll take them a day to get there.

The Flaming Chihuahuas will dampen their fire as to not easilty be seen.


+++++++++++++
The Spam Vikings finally reach and continue to patrol the Neirian River.

Spam Spam Spam!!! Spamity Spaaaaaaam!! Spamity Spam!!


+++++++++++++
Actions

The Onion Spies have their intended targets.

Onion 1 has entered Kahn's Base.
Onion 2 is aboard one of the avengers of The Many's, hidden among the loot.
Onion 3 is still searching for a way to enter Memnoch's base.
Onion 4 is missing and the bond is disrupted. I have no idea as to why, yet.

If everone would be so kind to let me know what each sees. Thank you. :smallsmile:
W.I.T.C.H. has retrieved Smurfette, and are now on their way back to base. (D3)
The Spam Vikings have begun to patrol the Neirian waterways. (G3 to E3
Rayne and 12 Flaming Chihuahuas Head out to enter Jaberwok territory. (E3 to E5)


Lex-Kat's Neirian Royal Protectorate

Princess Lexington III (DarkOrchid) and a contingent of 50 pixie archers (MediumTurquoise) (In Throne Room of Base)
12 Flaming Chihuahuas (Base)
30 Flying Chihuahuas (Base)
Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitutes. (Navy) (Basement of Base)
5 Onion spies/saboteurs. (SeaGreen) (1 at or near each Base)
12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each. (Magenta) (Top of Base)
Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of (DarkRed, DarkOrange, Olive, Blue, Sienna) W.I.T.C.H. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.I.T.C.H.). (D3)
Crew of 12 Spam Vikings (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE). (Teal) (G3 to E3)
The Dhampir, Rayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rayne_(BloodRayne)), from the BloodRayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BloodRayne) series. (Red) and 12 Flaming Chihuahuas. (E3 to E5)
Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Tesla) (DimGray) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_ray). (Top of Base)



Da map:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png

[Shadowcaller]

Ink-Eyes hurried across the crags of her newfound home, a few moments ago she had been home in Kamigawa doing what she did best, ending lives. Now she was elsewhere, a place she could not recognize, but it didn’t really matter of course.

The whispers of the oni still followed her, urging her to continue forward, urging her to end the lives of all who opposed them.
Du-dunk
She stopped and blinked.
Du-dunk
Again the sound of heartbeat rang in her head; there was something alive near her, she listened more closely.
Du-dunk, du-dunk, du-dunk

There – there was more than one hearth beating, she felt the urge to kill, to end that sound increase within her, and she could not sit still any longer. She moved into the direction of the sound, faster than ever before.

Now she also could hear voice, they were arguing about what she didn’t care, right now she just wanted to end that sound of heartbeats inside her head.
Du-dunk, du-dunk, du-dunk, du-dunk, du-dunk

The sound now came more rapidly; she could feel her head hurt, burning with blood-lust, she was starting to lose control. Stopping in the middle of her sprint Ink-Eyes tried to calm herself down.

Back at the van…

"B.A.? Can we pull over?"

"No."

"But the zombies need to go to the little zombies room."

"Zombies don't need to pee, you fool."

"How would you know? Have you ever talked to them?"

"I ain't talking to no damn corpses! They're dead! Dead people don't pee!"

Face speaks up. "Murdock, is this because you need to pee?"

"... maybe."

With a sigh, B.A. parks the van. The back hatch opens with a POP and dancing zombies pour out of it like clowns from a clown car.

"Maybe if we get lucky, they won't come back," BA muttered, as he and the other three members of the A-Team get out of the van.

Ink-eyes stops her persuit, the moving box had suddenly stopped. She watched and waited. After just a few moments a door opened and dead things came out, "Useless," she thought. But then she heard that beat again, something was alive down there... she started moving closer, drawing her long-bladed tanto.

Going along the shadows of a cliff, ink-eyes was slowly getting closer to her prey; she heard a heartbeat getting more distant from the others. She went that way, her vision getting clearer and clearer as she went along.
A few moments later, Murdock starts walking back. "Now where am I supposed to wash my hands?"

Ink-eyes closed her eyes for a moment, trying to clear her head from everything else, she was so close now and her prey had not seen her yet...
A moment passes and ink-eyes opened her eyes again, now glowing red, seeing her prey with perfect clarify she sneaked closer to him, going faster and faster until the last bit where she was in a charge.

Murdock got half a scream out before he was silenced.

She blinked; all sounds around her had suddenly become much, much clearer. Once again she turned to the sounds off heartbeats while waiting for the prey she just had killed to rise again.
Murdock rose again, saw Ink Eyes standing in front of him, and screamed again.
Why did they always scream? "Quiet..." She commanded, looking back at the moving box once again. Had they heard?

Back at the van, the remaining members of the A-Team heard Murdock scream. Grabbing their machine guns, they headed after him to stage a rescue.

Ink-eyes looked surprised, her mouth half-open at the now dead A-team member. She was almost about to say something back in response but then she heard the others, they had noticed her. "Stay here..." She disappeared into the terrain again, trying to keep herself out of sight as far as possible among the cracks of this rugged landscape

The A-team set out into the direction of the sound of Murdock’s screams and found him in a decomposing state of living.

"Hi guys!"
"Murdock! You have a hole in your chest!"
"Yeah, I'm living impaired now too!" *big grin* "Bet you'll treat us with more respect now."

"Stop that jibber-jabbering, fool. I bet it's just ketchup."
Ink-Eyes circled around and came around behind the A-team, waiting to strike as soon as they would let their guard down.
But as she slowly crept closer to them Murdock took notice of her and waves. "Hi Ma'am! I stayed right here, just like you told me!"

Ink-eyes made a mental note to not bring back any more of these box-persons if she made it out of this alive as she spun her naginata lightly against the closest persons head.

The other members of the A-Team turn and start firing hundreds of bullets, none of which hit her. She hits Templeton Peck. "Gah! Not my beautiful face!!!!" He manages to scream, before the blade goes completely through his skull and out the other side.

In the same moment she drove the Naginata through Templeton’s skull she pulls it out, aiming it for the next closest person
BA roars in anger and goes to punch her in the face.

In the middle of her charge she feels something hitting her, she falls down, it starts to blacken before her eyes and she is suddenly back with her old master again, geeling his grip around her throat. SHe blinks, her eyes turning red again, and feels how fury overtakes her.

Quickly she raises from the ground, throwing her tanto at the closest person in her charge.

Soon, she is left standing over the bodies of Face, BA, and Hannibal.
"You'll bring them back too, right?" Murdock asks.

There are voices in her head, her vision is blurred. She hears Murdock as through a haze. She blinks "What?" Not really sure she can trust her own ears anymore.

"They're living impaired now. So why aren't they up and walking around too?"
Slowly her senses are starting to return to normal, her head becomes less clouded, the blood-lust and the fire in her eyes are fading away. "You- you revealed my position."

He kneels down beside BA, shaking him. "Wake up. Come on, wake up."
Ink-eyes stared coldly at Murdock and reached out and touched BA lightly, causing him to once again return to life.

"You fool. What you have to go and get us killed for?" He says to Murdock.
Face just sat there whimpering. "My face. My beautiful face."
Hannibal stood up, chomping on his cigar and grinned at Ink-Eyes. "Congratulations. You've just hired the A-Team."

Ink-eyes rolled her eyes behind her black facemask, maybe this had been a mistake after all?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The demolishers slowly gathered speed down the slopes and ended up a bit closer to the northern parts of the map. Elsewhere a lone bulky guy was approaching the grass fields, but he was not alone, behind him followed by four unassuming humans.

Laurence had taken Temeraire scouting at the northeast border of the land Memnarch so modest had dubbed “Miara” after himself.

Laurence didn’t really care about that; he just wanted to be send back home which he had been promised to be after he “died” or they won.

The onion spy will only see a closed gate with a huge clasp on it.

Summary
Ink-eyes killed and ressurected the A-team, my units moved a bit. My starting area is now know as "Miara".

Shadow Legion (Locations)

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni - E7
Basement Cat - in the basement of the base
4 Worms - on the walls closest to the gate.
Doom Guy (http://www.bamkapow.com/the-official-doom-comic-book-from-96-1765-p.html) - C6
Temeraire + Laurence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temeraire_(series)) - F6
20 Orcish Demolishers (http://www.wowwiki.com/Demolisher) with the burning oil upgrade. (from warcraft 3: the frozen throne) -D6
Three random pokemons from the first and the second game. (Evee (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Eevee_(Pokémon)), Ekans (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Ekans_(Pokémon)) and Wobbuffet (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Wobbuffet_(Pokémon))) - Protecting the shield generator
4 Horrors from the S.E.U. series - C6
The retarded D&D monster squad: A Mimic (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Mimic_(4e_Creature)), a Raffamoffyn (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Raggamoffyn_(4e_Creature)) and a Gelatinous Cube (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Gelatinous_Cube) - The cube is at D6, the others are protecting the gate (from the outside)
Memnarch (http://www.phyrexia.com/continuity/Memnarch.shtml) - at the shield generator

[happyturtle]

This will be short on narrative, but to make up for it, there is action and destruction! Also pictures!

___________________________________

http://www.d20.cz/data/C/4282/cube.jpg

D5: The gelatinous cube oozed over the countryside and onto one of the landmines.

It went splodey. There are now a few dozen small blobs of ooze dotted about the area.

http://hunternuttall.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/thriller.jpg

___________________________________

C6: Having gotten separated from the A-Team, the dancing zombies dance right into the Orcish Demolishers.

Dance Fighting!

Zombies!

ON FIRE!!!!!

<insert epic fight scene here>

Results: 6 of the demolishers are torn to pieces by the flaming undead dancing hordes. 7 of the zombies are killed. Again. Or whatever.

The remaining zombies receive a power up from the psychic power generated by all the news coverage of their creator's death.

___________________________________

Superman is still carrying the container truck with Jokey Smurf's gifts in them when he sees the Avenger strike on the TMNT's.

So he throws the truck at the avenger.


KABOOM!!!!!!!!

Trucker Smurf perished in the asplosion. Because Superman is a ****.

___________________________________


Terminator looks over the destruction.

"I'll be back."

[Murska]

The Many

Private Fri Redshirt was sitting in the Avenger, wondering about how different the situation was to the usual places the Xcom was called to. No terror sites, no sectoid attacks, but instead some even weirder things were afoot and how he'd probably never get to see his family again.

Well, no, he wasn't actually wondering about this. He was wondering about why his heavy plasma was humming ominously and where his sandwich had disappeared when he had turned his back.

A few seconds later, he was wondering why a giant explosion had just occurred and tossed him out of the ship through a hole which hadn't been there moments ago.

Even more seconds later, he wasn't wondering about anything anymore. A nearby rabbit was wondering why a hand had just fallen from the sky.

Rewind a bit. Choose another viewpoint. Here, Flight Lieutenant Godefroy was on his break from piloting the Avenger. He was an Xcom veteran, both on the ground and in the air, and had taken down his fair share of UFOs, even a battleship once. He was near his Blaster Bomb Launcher, as always. As the explosion came, it was the first thing he grabbed. Between grabbing it and grabbing the second thing he did, he performed a series of quick calculations in his head.

One, if he took the heavy weapon, it'd obstruct his movements and slow him down.

Two, it might explode.

Three, he had only three shots for it.

Four, laser weapons have unlimited ammo.

Five, we're going down.

After coming to a conclusion, he dropped the launcher and picked up a laser rifle from a nearby rack, while strapping on a parachute and jumping off the falling Avenger.

Harlequins

The Harlequins were in the hold, on their way back to the camp. They had been playing cards about the loot, a habit taught by Häyhä, and one of them had managed to win all their rations, which mostly consisted of pizza and a single onion, oddly.

Then an explosion shook the ship which began to tear apart. The Troupe was quick on their feet, and the leader ran to the ramp and sliced it open. But a piece of the damaged ship tore off the engine and rocketed through the gap at him, impaling one of his arms to the metal. He futilely tried to rip it off, while the ground was approaching quickly, as the doomed vessel fell from the sky in a fiery arc. Meh'Lindi, the leader, grabbed one of his teammates and tossed him out of the ship, clear of the quickly approaching explosion. Another of the Troupe reached the ramp and jumped. The last one approached the leader.

"Go! Now! You'll make it!"

"I'm not leaving you!"

The Harlequin ran at Meh'Lindi, jumped and, flying, tackled him out of the ramp. Meh'Lindi's scream was deafened by the horrible noise of tearing metal and flesh as the craft finally smashed into the ground.

Base

"What? The Avenger was shot down?"

"According to what we know, it was a large ballistic weapon, with a high explosive loadout. We have no idea where it came from, however, other than that it was from the direction towards the middle of the battlefield."

"What about survivors?"

"One of my men made it, and three of the Harlequins although one of them is gravely wounded."

Kvothe paced around the room. "If they can bombard us with something like that without us being capable of retaliation of even tracking the shooter's location... We'll have to find out what it was and take it out."

"Yes sir. Shall I relay your orders to the airforce?"

"Go ahead."

Courtyard

"What are you doing?" Meh'Lindi was sitting on a rock near the edge of the area. His arm was almost completely torn off, the wound was grievous and he had other, smaller cuts all around.

"Relax. It's the only way to save your arm. I'll just add some of the Creep to it and modify it to grow it back together."

"You and your 'modifications'! It's like the Tyranids, you're just trying to infest me!"

"Do you have a choice? And I swear, it'll be fully under your own control."

Fell

Häyhä's smoke dropped to the snow, forgotten and quickly burning out, as he grabbed his rifle and looked far towards the middle of the map. Something had just flashed there... something blue...

And then he saw something large flying unbelievably fast towards the Avenger. "Wat..." He had time to radio before the impact, and the resulting explosion tearing the ship in two, the pieces falling towards the ground.

He quickly looked back, but the blue flash was gone.

"What in the..."


Army: 1. Kvothe and Bast Base
2. Simo Häyhä with a Spinneret Rifle On fell in H5
3. Three Harlequin Troupers Base, leader wounded
4 Four Fremen Fedaykin Scouting along the river F4 - I4
4.5 Four Fremen Fedaykin Scouting along the river and lakes F6 - I6
5. A Cybran group: Deceiver along with six Fire Beetles Base
5.5 Two Loyalists Near entrance of gate in I5, hidden under snow
5.75 Four Bangers Entrenched and camouflaged in snow around the edges of H5
6. A group of 4 veteran Marked of Kane Venoms Converging on Base
7. Kerrigan the Queen of Blades and twenty fully upgraded Zerglings(aka Cracklings) with four Hunter-Killer Hydralisks. Base
8. Reno and Rude Base
9. Greed with Roa, Dorchet and Martel Base
10. Avenger Destroyed, in pieces on the eastern slope of the Fell
10.33... Two Firestorms from X-Com Converging on Base
11.Xcom Flight Lieutenant Godefroy Base

EDIT: Oh, right. The onion falls onto the fell and is buried in snow.

[happyturtle]

*pixie poke*

[Lex-Kat]

Neirian Royal Protectorate

Vidalia enters the throne room. Princess Lexington, the Hive Fleet Jaberwok area has completely collapsed. They are no longer a threat to us. Unfortunately, the onion spy that was sent there disappeared soon after informing me.

The onion near the Shadow Legion area is stuck in front of the gate and hasn't found a way to get in.

Onion spy that was onboard the Avneger barely survived its fall from the destroyed avenger. It's now making it's way slowly toward their base. I can only hope that it isn't eaten before it gets there.

Unfortunately, a smurf within the excellent eighties compound cooked the onion spy there into a smurfy stew.

Lex frowns. It's time I interrogate Smurfette. Vidalia, you're in charge here until I get back.


+++++++++++++
Lex then flies down to interrogation room one, where we find Smurfette is tied to an X frame, wearing appropriate bondage gear. Lex smiles wickedly. Are you comfortable?


+++++++++++++
Vidalia sends one of the Lords A-leaping up to Tesla with an urgent message to send to Rayne and her cadre of 12 Flaming Chihuahuas.

Tell them to make their way to the fortress of the Many. these are the last cooradinates of my onion spy. Tell them to be on the look out for it.

The message is sent and Rayne and the Flaming Chihuahuas turn and head for the Fell in the Many's territory. (F6 nearing G6)


+++++++++++++
Another message is sent down to Pat benatar and her 9 Dancing Prostitutes.

You are to head out to the Excellent Eighties. You're from the eighties, maybe you can get in without them thinking twice about the fact that you are not one of them.

Pat and her dancers head toward the 80's compound. (D3)


+++++++++++++
W.I.T.C.H. is now patrolling the perimiter of the Protectorate's land between the 80's territory and the Many's territory. (E4)


+++++++++++++
The Flying Chihuahuas have all been sent to bombard any Shadow Legion forces. They will arrive the next round.

They will finish their turn in (E5) this round.


+++++++++++++
The Spam Vikings turn down the Many waterway, heading for Harlequin Lake. (E4 to G4)

Spam Spam Spam!!! Spamity Spaaaaaaam!! Spamity Spam!!


+++++++++++++
Actions

Two of the Onion Spies have been vanquished.

Onion 1 has been eaten by Kahn's forces.
Onion 2 is freezing in the Fell.
Onion 3 is still searching for a way into Memnoch's Base.
Onion 4 is missing and likely dead along with the rest of the Jaberwock Territory.
W.I.T.C.H. has delivered Smurfette, and is now on patrol. (E4)
The Spam Vikings have begun to patrol the Many waterways, heading toward Harlequin Lake. (E4 to G4)
Rayne and 12 Flaming Chihuahuas have changed direction and are just now entering the Many's Territory. (F6 nearing G6)
Pat Benetar and the 9 Prostitutes are making their way toward the Excellent Eighties Compound. (D3)
The Flying Chihuahuas have been sent on a search and destroy mission into the Shadow Legion's territory. (E5)


Lex-Kat's Neirian Royal Protectorate

Princess Lexington III (DarkOrchid) and a contingent of 50 pixie archers (MediumTurquoise) (Interrogation Room of Base)
12 Flaming Chihuahuas (Base)
30 Flying Chihuahuas (E5)
Pat Benatar and her 9 dancing Prostitutes. (Navy) (D3)
5 3 Onion spies/saboteurs. (SeaGreen) (1 at or near each Base)
12 Lords a-leaping. With shotguns and one grenade each. (Magenta) (Top of Base)
Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, and Hay Lin of (DarkRed, DarkOrange, Olive, Blue, Sienna) W.I.T.C.H. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.I.T.C.H.). (E4)
Crew of 12 Spam Vikings (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE). (Teal) (E4 to G4)
The Dhampir, Rayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rayne_(BloodRayne)), from the BloodRayne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BloodRayne) series. (Red) and 12 Flaming Chihuahuas. (F6 nearing G6)
Resurrected Nikolai Tesla (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Tesla) (DimGray) operating his Directed-Energy Weapon, or Death Ray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_ray). (Top of Base)

Da map:
http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/insanowar/insanowar5map7.png

[happyturtle]

*pokes SC*

Don't make me send Ga'Zeyboh after you!

EDIT: Woohoo! Wolfie is going to take Moon's place, since she got bored and abdicated.

[UncleWolf]

The Wolf Pack
How is this for my Army list:

1) Winston Wolf w/ his Acura NXS (Pulp Fiction)
2) 50 Wargs (The Hobbit)
3) The Big Bad Wolf
4) Fenrisulfr and his sons Skoll and Hati (Norse Mythology)
5) 12 Werewolves
6) The two Beasts of Gévaudan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beast_of_G%C3%A9vaudan)
7) A Werewolf Lynch Mob
8) Murska! (Special Ability: Can tell a lie and have it believed) :smalltongue:
9) Airwolf w/crew and weapons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airwolf)
10) 5 Sea Wolf missile systems. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Wolf_missile)

Any tips or complaints?

[Murska]

The Wolf Pack
How is this for my Army list:

1) Winston Wolf w/ his Acura NXS (Pulp Fiction)
2) 50 Wargs (The Hobbit)
3) The Big Bad Wolf
4) Fenrisulfr and his sons Skoll and Hati (Norse Mythology)
5) 12 Werewolves
6) The two Beasts of Gévaudan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beast_of_G%C3%A9vaudan)
7) A Werewolf Lynch Mob
8) Murska! (Special Ability: Can tell a lie and have it believed) :smalltongue:
9) Airwolf w/crew and weapons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airwolf)
10) 5 Sea Wolf missile systems. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Wolf_missile)

Any tips or complaints?

No tips nor complaints, just an evil grin. :smallamused:

[Fan]

How could you forget the mighty Wolf O'Donnel!


http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/furry/images/thumb/0/0e/StarWolf.jpg/250px-StarWolf.jpg

[happyturtle]

Excellent Eighties Ensemble


Khan and a supply of Ceti eels Base
Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan, with the timebooth. Base
Flash Gordon (with rocket cycle), Prince Vultan, and 50 Hawkmen Base
The Smurfs and some of their allies Base
A Mobile Army Surgical Hospital Unit Roof of Base
The Terminator D5
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles G5 [Annihilated and corpses looted]
The A-Team [enslaved by Ink-Eyes] E7
14 powered-up dancing zombies from Thriller (but without Michael Jackson) E6
7 dead zombie corpses [Destroyed by demolishers] D6
Superman Airborne over Many/Neirian terrority
Trucker Smurf [asploded]. Remains not recoverable.
Smurfette [Captured] Neirian base
Feathers B4
A-Team van (equipped for off-road), tools, weapons, and ammo Abandoned at E7

[UncleWolf]

The Wolf Pack

Somewhere near Los Angeles...

Mr. Wolfe, a.k.a The Wolf, a.k.a Wolfe Winston, was sitting on his rather expensive back porch, sipping his coffee (with lots of cream and lots of sugar), when his cell phone rang. "Who's this? Oh, good morning sir." *sip of coffee* "What kind of situation? Okay, that kind. Where at?" The Wolf checks his watch. "That is 30 minutes away. I'll be there in ten."


9 minutes and 38 seconds later...

A rather nice sports car screeches to a halt just inside the gates. Mr. Wolf steps out and takes a nearby cup of coffee (with lots of cream and lots of sugar). He shook his head when he saw who all was waiting for him. "What kind of sick freak put this army together?" He says to himself.

A really, really big wolf was currently shifting missiles into place by blowing on them, a dozen or so werewolves were playing Ultimate Frisbee(by catching the Frisbee in their mouths nonetheless), and a very large group of people with torches and pitchforks were currently chopping what looked to be a giant green eyeball to pieces. Lots of tiny little pieces. A man with a helicopter pilot's uniform greeted him. "Sorry about the mess, sir. But the lynchmob claims they saw Murska backstabbing someone. They couldn't find a body, but he is notorious for it." The pilot looks at the gruesome scene. "Oh well, he'll come back in a few hours anyways. This is the third time they've tried to kill him."

"I was under the impression that the army was much larger than this."

The pilot nods. "It is, sir. The Wargs are getting the mail. Unfortunately, someone screwed up and the mailbox is in the mountains to the west. Fenrisulfr and his two sons are off picking up the pizza. Delivery van wouldn't come any closer than a short ways north. Something about not having the right kind of insurance."

Mr. Wolfe looks around at the motley crew (crew, not crue :smalltongue:) and nods. "I think I have a plan..."

Whats Happening:

1)The lynchmob is chopping Murska into little pieces. Again
2)Winston Wolf has arrived and has a plan
3)The Wargs are making their way to their mailbox, to the west.(They are in G9)
4)Fenrisulfr and sons are picking up the pizza. (H8)
5)Missiles are being set up.

Army List:

1) Winston Wolf w/ his Acura NXS (Pulp Fiction)
2) 50 Wargs (The Hobbit)
3) The Big Bad Wolf
4) Fenrisulfr and his sons Skoll and Hati (Norse Mythology)
5) 12 Werewolves
6) The two Beasts of Gévaudan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beast_of_G%C3%A9vaudan)
7) A Werewolf Lynch Mob
8) Murska! (Special Ability: Can tell a lie and have it believed)(Currently indisposed)
9) Airwolf w/crew and weapons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airwolf)
10) 5 Sea Wolf missile systems. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Wolf_missile) being set up

Sorry about the narration being short and crappy, but I lost my really good one, and this is to keep the game movie.

[Shadowcaller]

Whoops. :smalleek:
Post coming...

[Lex-Kat]

*Pokes Shadowcaller*

[happyturtle]

I officially declare this game DEAD.

Suggest if we try it again, we have a LOT fewer units, and stuff them into an arena instead of an area with a 20 mile radius. :smalltongue:

[UncleWolf]

I officially declare this game DEAD.

Suggest if we try it again, we have a LOT fewer units, and stuff them into an arena instead of an area with a 20 mile radius. :smalltongue:

How about 5 picks, nothing larger than a bus or a group of ten, and they are in the Roman Coliseum?