Dumb Moments in D&D

[Korivan]

Whether its a blond moment, or just plain stupidity, we all have those moments where we look back and think "maybe i should have rethunk that last move" To get this thread moving, heres a few from my years.

1. A guy who liked to drink alot when playing d&d liked to invent drinking games with commoners ingame. One game was instead of slapping the bull, it was slapping the dragon.

[The Mentalist]

Isn't that something you do when you make half-dragons?

[Eldariel]

Dervish (without flight abilities; lowish level) & Warlock face off against a Blackguard, a Cleric and a Vrock; Team Evil is guarding a dimensional gate the Dervish & Warlock need to pass through.

Dervish does what he can and keeps the Blackguard occupied while engaging the Cleric hoping to kill 'em before anything fatal happens, while the Warlock begins to blast...the Blackguard?! "Because Vrock has spell resistance, I'd rather take sure hits." (this was before the Vitriolic Blast)

Fast-forward a couple of minutes and the battlefield contains a dead Cleric, a dead Blackguard, a Warlock on negatives and a Dervish doing his best to fend off two Vrocks and get the damn Warlock out of there alive.

[Quietus]

I have lots of dumb moments happen in one game I'm in; Two of the players really play up their low intelligence, even lower than it actually is. It's headache-inducing for my character (I've got almost as much intelligence as you'd have putting these two together), but I personally find it hilarious.

The best part? One's a straight-classed Sorcerer, whose frog is as intelligent as she is right now. A couple more levels and her frog can explain things to her.

[Choco]

The best part? One's a straight-classed Sorcerer, whose frog is as intelligent as she is right now. A couple more levels and her frog can explain things to her.

That's the sad truth with Sorcerers who have familiars unfortunately... it's embarrassing in the mid-high levels when your familiar surpasses you in intelligence...

Speaking of sorcerers, my 15 int sorcerer (yes he's not optimized, no one in this group optimizes, we play for "fun") who has done research on the far realm once walked up to something from Heroes of Horror, face to face, at the end of a dungeon, to have a pleasant chat. It lasted a few sentences surprisingly. Luckily I at least had the brains to ask the rest of the party to ready attack actions in case something "went wrong"...

[Berserk Monk]

One time I was playing a halfling and my party went to see some elves. They weren't used to halflings so they thought I was a child and gave me a toy train. I later asked the DM how they could do this since trains hadn't been invented yet.

[The Mentalist]

Elves are time travelers.

Actually in my last DM's world they were aliens. The Vulcan references were legion.

[chiasaur11]

One time I was playing a halfling and my party went to see some elves. They weren't used to halflings so they thought I was a child and gave me a toy train. I later asked the DM how they could do this since trains hadn't been invented yet.

Contact with Eberron, mayhaps?

[lsfreak]

The best part? One's a straight-classed Sorcerer, whose frog is as intelligent as she is right now. A couple more levels and her frog can explain things to her.
A friend told me of a campaign where that happened. The familiar got imbued with spell ability, and using that magic broke free of the sorcerer's command, then proceeded to be deified by a tribe of goblins and became the BBEG for the rest of the campaign.

[Hzurr]

A friend told me of a campaign where that happened. The familiar got imbued with spell ability, and using that magic broke free of the sorcerer's command, then proceeded to be deified by a tribe of goblins and became the BBEG for the rest of the campaign.

That's awesome. Man, talk about a BBEG with a reason to hate the party. "And THIS is for forgetting to feed me for 3 days when you left me in your backpack!"

[Haven]

A friend told me of a campaign where that happened. The familiar got imbued with spell ability, and using that magic broke free of the sorcerer's command, then proceeded to be deified by a tribe of goblins and became the BBEG for the rest of the campaign.

Oh man, this is so going to be how OotS ends.

[Rapidwhirl]

I crawled through a duct (In fantasy?) and looked down at two NPC's that were having a conversation. In retrospect, it screamed eavesdrop on them. I turned invisible and jumped down instead.

[Dogmantra]

Oh man, this is so going to be how OotS ends.

Quick!
Spoiler it so Rich doesn't read it then change the ending!

[JeenLeen]

My last game session: we just defeated a lich and found a secret door leading to where his phylactery was rumored to be hidden. We had been forewarned of the multitude of traps that would be protecting this thing.

The sorcerer decides, as the rogue approaches the door to search it for traps, to disintegrate the door. He destroys it, setting off two Wail of the Banshees, an Earthquake trap (with cave-in follow-up), and maybe one or two other traps. The sorcerer died from the second Wail of the Banshee. We would have left him dead until we returned to base, but had to revive him so that he could destroy a Prismatic Sphere.

[pseudodragon]

this is not my dumb moment, but my DM's mistake. we were having a non-level-appropriate encounter, i think( 2 2nd levels(bard and paladin) vs. 1 ogre) my chararacter (the neutral bard) walked up, talking about how he wanted to stab the paladin in the back and pulled out his rapier, caught the ogre flat-footed, and got a crit. then next round, a crit. ( the bard's crit)this brought him into negatives, and in round 3 i slit his throat.


that's how a +2 shock rapier, in the hands of a bard can kill an ogre.
( in 3 stabs.):smallsmile:

[Assassin89]

These didn't happen to me, but they are still dumb moments.

1. Drinking unknown fluid from a fountain and turned into a goblin. Ironically this made that character a better healer.
2. Putting on a necklace that none of the party knows about and getting cursed.
3. Rushing into combat situations against undead and then retreating without doing any damage
4. Not replacing a diamond and dying and losing the diamond as a result.

[Badgercloak]

I was DMing a game for some friends who were new to the game. They both made reflex saves against the pit trap in the middle of the hallway. The Dwarf decides to throw the halfling across. Well instead of a throw across it turned into downward chuck.

[The Rose Dragon]

Well, this is not mine, but it is awesome.

In a game with intraparty conflict, there was a vampire paladin of Kelemvor (it happened); me, a Vow of Poverty / Peace / Non-violence / Nimbus of Light Cleric; and the bard.

So, I (IC) realize that the vampire is, in fact, a vampire, burst into the inn room, turn on the Nimbus of Light and Turn Undead. This is enough to throw the vampire into the open (he was wearing an artifact that allowed him to travel in sunlight as long as all of it was properly worn), and after a short fight, I drop him with a Cure Moderate Wounds spell.

The bard makes a grapple check when I try to remove the vampire's glove and somehow wins, so I allow him to do as he wants.

He casts Cure Light Wounds to heal him.

I would facepalm if it weren't so hilarious.

[Learnedguy]

Alright, so we're all standing on a bridge, and we've just engaged a werewolf lord. It's me (the sneaky beguiler), a dread necromancer (with a thing for corpse, harr), a rogue/swordsage (the d6 marvel boy!) and a fighter.

The werewolf lord is big and mean and wants to rip our spleen out, and we're wondering how to beat him the fastest and smoothest way possible so we can end this stupid sidequest. And then our fighter goes "I'll bullrush him into the water"

... Everyone stares at him.

Fighter: "What?"

Me: "Why? What on earth would we accomplish by pushing him in the water?"

Fighter: "Well, he'll...get wet?"

...

DM: "*Facepalms*"

--- --- ---

In general, our fighter tends to get the brightest ideas. For instance, in that very same session, he suggested grappling the sphere of annihilation.

[Camiyal Nocturn]

Im running some of my friends through the Dragon Lance remake a few years back. We have a Sylvanesti Fighter/Cleric (I dont know WHY she didnt roll paladin...) a Human Monk, a Human Sorcerer and a Kender (*shudder*) Rogue/Bard (Gods why?).

Anyway, theyve been working their way to the BBEG of the current module Im running, and the dungeon is full, FULL, of red dragon spawn. Red dragon spawn explode a round or so after you kill them. Explode violently even. So, the BBEG turns out to be a female Red dragon spawn. The fight begins and she fails spectacularly. The players down her in a two rounds. Then...

They all cluster around her to take her stuff. *facepalm* She explodes, scattering bits of fighter/cleric and sorcerer across the lair. The monk is at -3 and dying and the Kender takes their stuff for safe keeping and leaves.

[Kornaki]

The sorcerer decided to make a late night rendezvous with a grave to rob... he shows up, and is attacked by the tomb's guardians: A bunch of flesh stripping creatures that cause charisma damage.
Myth: I can take a round of hits and survive because of my high charisma. Then I'll take them all out with a fireball.
Reality: After one round, he's down to 11 charisma. Whoops


Stupidity on the DM's part (this was one of the first games we played): I was a barbarian, and challenged a rogue three levels higher to a duel. He accepts, since he's prepared with scrolls of invisibility and summon monster to set up sneak attacks. One round later:
"What the hell do you mean uncanny dodge?"

Easiest XP I've ever gained :smallsmile: (actually, it was really fricking difficult XP, but I'll be damned if there wasn't a lot of it)

[Rhiannon87]

All right, I guess I have to share my deep shame.

We're camped out for the night, with my PC (rogue/fighter/spymaster) and another PC on watch. I spot something odd-- a group of devils circling around above the road-- and they charge down to attack a paladin of Ilmaeter. As we're headed towards a monastery of Ilmaeter, we wake up the rest of the party and go rushing in.

The "paladin"? Turns out to be an assassin hunting me. The devils? Legion devils working for him. We take out the legion devils in short order. The rest of the party is pretty spread out, and our resident sneak-attack damage dealer charges in. Gets in one good hit, then gets knocked to 0 after the not-paladin beats the crap out of him with a pair of light maces. (Damn you lightning maces style...) He downs a potion of gaseous form and floats the hell away. The rest of the party has scattered at this point; even the fighter is hanging back going "yeah screw that". So what do I, the most un-optimized character in the history of ever, decide to do?

Yeah. I charge the guy.

He goes immediately after me. I had 77 hit points, ended up at... -20, or something insane like that. He hit me 7 times for a minimum of 10 damage each hit. Luckily the party had diamonds on hand to raise me the next morning, and I spent a bit of time after that rather grumpy about my generalist character in a game of specialists (still kind of am, but my character is driving the plot, so that makes me feel a little better about being useless in combat.)

[Flickerdart]

this is not my dumb moment, but my DM's mistake. we were having a non-level-appropriate encounter, i think( 2 2nd levels(bard and paladin) vs. 1 ogre) my chararacter (the neutral bard) walked up, talking about how he wanted to stab the paladin in the back and pulled out his rapier, caught the ogre flat-footed, and got a crit. then next round, a crit. ( the bard's crit)this brought him into negatives, and in round 3 i slit his throat.


that's how a +2 shock rapier, in the hands of a bard can kill an ogre.
( in 3 stabs.):smallsmile:
Seems like the mistake was giving you a +3 equivalent weapon at 2nd level. One must also wonder how you slit a throat with a piercing weapon.

[Camiyal Nocturn]

Seems like the mistake was giving you a +3 equivalent weapon at 2nd level. One must also wonder how you slit a throat with a piercing weapon.

With the tip, duh. Havent you EVER watched Zorro?

Honestly, it could have been eye candy. Ive been known to do that when something spectacular happens with my players.

[raptor1056]

Playing in a zombie apocalypse campaign, we decided to let a new player join. Expecting either the obvious choice, a cleric (for drawn-out-battle healing and undead harming) or a big dumb basher, he instead comes with a duelist. With improved crit. On rapier AND dagger.

We let him change those, of course. He still died that adventure. That's when he rolled up a paladin.

A dumb mistake of mine occured in a one-on-one face off between my wizard and a dimension travelling elan psion BBEG. This happens after the psion wins initiative:
DM: Roll fort.
Me: K. ****, natural 1!
Dm:... K
Me: You mean I live?
DM: Yep. Your turn.
Me: Bwaha! Quickened True Strike! Maximized Disintegrate! Take that, Wizard hit die!
DM: You take 216 damage from his Affinity Field. He expends 100 PP to shrug it off.

Shows what you get, trying to be flashy.

[Zergrusheddie]

We were in a strange valley and we were looking for the tomb of a long dead Hobgoblin King (Kalamar campaign setting). We found a little village by a lake and we eventually figure out that there is a key that we need in the lake. The Chieftain states that something mean lives in the water and that it fought off a Red Dragon a couple of years ago. Someone says "What, is this thing like Godzilla?" The DM nods and says that it is exactly like Godzilla. We send the Druid as an otter to get the key and escape before Godzilla wakes up. Now we are just curious what the hell is in the water.

When the Chief learns about our intent to pull the creature out of the water, the DM interrupted us by stating that he was running into the middle of the village shouting "Pack your ****, pack your ****!" Every person left the village in less than 20 minutes. The Fighter/Rogue took a pot and spoon and started beating as loud as he could in the water; the Druid was flying as Combat Air Patrol and gave a sign when he saw something rising to the surface. The DM opened up the Monster Manual and pointed at a picture and told us that we saw this coming out of the water. We had to run, but the Tarrasque eventually went back into the water.

[Berserk Monk]

Contact with Eberron, mayhaps?

Nope. Weren't playing that campaign setting.

[Rutskarn]

I crawled through a duct (In fantasy?) and looked down at two NPC's that were having a conversation. In retrospect, it screamed urinate on them. I turned invisible and jumped down instead.

Fixed that for you.

[shadzar]

Woke the sleeping dragon....on purpose. You can imagine what happened next.