View Full Version : Swim, swim, hungry...

The Vorpal Tribble
2006-01-25, 06:15 PM

Huge Magical Beast (aquatic)
Hit Dice: 12d10+72 (138 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: Swim 40 ft.
Armor Class: 18 (+2 dex, +8 natural, -2 size), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+40
Attack: Bite +30 melee (4d6+15)
Full attack: Bite +30 melee (4d6+15)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Swallow whole, swift rush
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., heroic appetite, low-light vision, mindless
Saves: Fort +14, Ref +10, Will -1
Abilities: Str 31, Dex 14, Con 22, Int -, Wis 1, Cha 1
Skills: -
Feats: -
Environment: Any aquatic
Organization: Solitary, Stupidity (2-16)
Challenge Rating: 11
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 13-19 HD (Gargantuan), 20-28 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: -

The second dumbest creature in the universe, the dopefish appears as a round bodied, whale-sized fish with huge buckteeth, bulging eyes and a powerful tail. Its thought patterns go, "swim swim hungry, swim swim hungry."

A dopefish snaps at anything that passes before it, or if the prey is swift the dopefish swims forward in an attempt to gulp it down. They will eat anything alive and moving near them, though they prefer heroes.

Heroic Appetite (Su):
A dopefish can sense the presense of a hero within 200 feet, but cannot pinpoint the exact location until within 20 feet. Against heroes dopefish gain a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls as their hunger intensifies drastically.

Mindless: A dopefish has no intelligence score, and so has immunity to all mind-affecting effects (charms, compulsions, phantasms, patterns, and morale effects).

Swallow Whole (Ex): A dopefish can try to swallow a swift rushed opponent of up to one size smaller by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 2d6+6 points of bludgeoning damage plus 1d8+4 points of acid damage per round from the dope's digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out using a light slashing or piercing weapon by dealing 25 points of damage to the dopefish's digestive tract (AC 14). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.

A dopefish's gullet can hold 2 Large, 8 Medium or Small, 32 Tiny, 128 Diminutive, or 512 Fine or smaller opponents.

Swift Rush (Ex):
If a dopefish charges a foe, it can attempt to swallow whole its prey as it moves along with mouth wide open. To escape being engulfed the victim must make a DC 26 reflex save. If the dopefish misses it takes 1d4 rounds for it to notice and for that time takes no actions at all and is flat-footed. The save DC is strength based.

2006-01-25, 06:19 PM
Should be something about how helm of telepathy and such with these cause temporary int drain, and mind affecting spells dont work.

2006-01-25, 06:24 PM

2006-01-25, 06:25 PM
1) What does the fish consider a hero? I assume that's left vague for DMs to interpret as "PCs" but just a thought.

2) I think your HP is figured wrong... with 13 HD and +6 Con Bonus that should be 10+12d10+78, or 12d10+88. 4 more than what you gave it. Just a nitpick cause I was trying to figure out what 84 went evenly into, and couldn't think of anything, so I checked it >_>

3) I agree with seffbaslisk, the -1 Will Save could probably tempt players to try to mind control it... not a good thing.

2006-01-25, 06:27 PM
well, in its natural habitat, it considered preteen kids with wetsuits and a football helmet heroes.

The Vorpal Tribble
2006-01-25, 06:33 PM
2) I think your HP is figured wrong... with 13 HD
Actually, 12 HD, but it was off a tad. Lowered its HD at the last moment and forgot to adjust.

3) I agree with seffbaslisk, the -1 Will Save could probably tempt players to try to mind control it... not a good thing.
Mindless creatures are immune to mind control. There, made special mention of a lack of intelligence makes one immune to mind effects.

well, in its natural habitat, it considered preteen kids with wetsuits and a football helmet heroes.

Yeah, it'd have to be defined by the DM, as 'hero' is pretty hard to define ;)

2006-01-25, 07:07 PM
Without an int score, would they end up eating each other?

The Vorpal Tribble
2006-01-25, 07:53 PM
Without an int score, would they end up eating each other?
Do monsterous centipedes?


2006-01-25, 09:57 PM
I am guessing there was a different picture besides the "don't direct link to us" one. Other than that, not a bad monster.

2006-01-25, 09:58 PM
I would actually think big monstrous centipedes WOULD attack baby ones that they did not hatch, and maybe even ones they did. But that's just me.

I can't say I'd ever use this, since I don't run humor/joke based campaigns, but it looks well constructed for one.

And before you ask, anything with a "hero sense" I consider to not be serious at all. That's just me, though.

The Vorpal Tribble
2006-01-25, 10:01 PM
Oh, its definetely not serious. I don't expect anyone to use it. Sometimes I just get bored and want a laugh.

I've also statted a Mayonaise Elemental, Wave o' Babies, Rootin' Tootin' Texas Chille Ooze, and a Tangled Christmas Lights Golem ;)

(For those of you who don't know it, the dopefish is from the old Commander Keen series of games. Was practically raised on the lot of them.)

2006-01-25, 10:25 PM
Pishaw, the tangled christmas light golem was a great monster! Had it hidden in the anchient Attic of Arcane Lore in a cursed Cardboard Box of Holding (you never get what you want when you reach into it).

That Lanky Bugger
2006-01-25, 11:33 PM
Am I the only one who chuckles at the Duke Nukem replacement picture instead of the Dopefish picture in an effort to "save" bandwidth?

That said, good monster Vorpal.

The Vorpal Tribble
2006-01-25, 11:35 PM
heh, the fishies should be working now ;)

2006-01-26, 04:44 PM
Just lettin' you know, you gave the fish gargantuan space/reach. For a huge creature it's 15ft./10ft.

The Vorpal Tribble
2006-01-26, 06:12 PM
Grr, thanks. Had it original gargantuan but then decided it wasn't quite THAT big. Adjusted.

2006-01-26, 06:14 PM
I have SO got to get the others, especially the Christmas light golem, PLEASE PM/Post links here...

I like the fish, though I would probably make characters who attempt to read thoughts on it not only not work, but suffer 2 int damage or something... i'm kidding of course.

nice monster,


The Vorpal Tribble
2006-02-03, 12:51 AM
Here you go:

Tangled Christmas Lights Golem


Small Construct
Hit Dice: 4d10+10 (32 HP)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 19 (+2 dex, +6 natural, +1 size), touch 13, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Slam +5 melee (1d3+2 plus 1d6 electricity)
Full attack: 2 slams +5 melee (1d3+2 plus 1d6 electricity)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Constrict 1d3+1, improved grab, skein
Special Qualities: Construct traits, fast healing 2, damage reduction 2/magic, darkvision 60 ft., immunity to bludgeoning, low-light vision
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +3, Will -4
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 15, Con -, Int -, Wis 1, Cha 4
Skills: --
Feats: Ability Focus(skein) (B)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Tangle (2-3) or Jumble (4-8 )
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 5-9 HD (Small), 10-26 HD (Medium), 27-39 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: --

It all started as an innocent december night as a kindly mage went down into the highest reaches of his tower to bring forth the year's decorations. Oh how the children loved his light display.

However, he had merely tossed the lights into a sack and the mass had somehow woven itself together with intricacies that would have made a lesser mind shiver to behold. But the mage was not one to be so easily deterred and went to work with a vengeance. Hours later, however, he was no closer than when he had started. He resorted to spells, anything to get them undone, but they remained stubbornly knotted.

With an enraged exclamation he then cursed the pile and watched in amazement as the entire mass flickered and twitched and rose up. Lights flickering at random upon its surface, it took its first step towards its creator and half the lights exploded with a sizzling sound. The mage flinched away and found to his astonishment that his clothes began to knot themselves together till he could barely move.

A tangled christmas lights golem appears vaguely as a rearing slug constructed from a mass of coiled green and white wires spotted with lights of all colors and sizes. Most of the bulbs however are shattered, with their wires protruding and sparking. Two tentacle-like protrusions dangle from each of its sides.

Tangled christmas lights golems attack with a seething, mindless anger bestowed upon them by the rage of the mage that constructed them. Anything that attacks or gets in their way is fair game to be crushed and twisted by their wirey strength and skein ability.

These golems are difficult to destroy however, as when their strands are seperated they almost immediately begin to knot themselves back together. However, any who can pin a tangled christmas lights golem down can make an attempt to undo its tangles. It must make 10 consecutive DC 25 Use Ropes or Profession (christmas decoration) checks, one each round. If the golem is pulled straight it is rendered helpless and loses its supernatural abilities until a knot is made along part of its length, at which point it reforms.

Constrict (Ex): On a successful grapple check, a tangled christmas lights golem deals 1d3+1 points of damage plus 1d6 electricity.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): A christmas lights golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance. In addition, certain spells and effects function differently against the creature, as noted below.

Animate rope, or a magical attack that deals electricity damage slows a christmas lights golem (as the slow spell) for 1d6 rounds, with no saving throw.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, the golem must hit with a slam attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict or use its skein ability.
Tangled christmas lights golems recieve a +4 bonus on grapple checks, which is already included in the statistics above.

Skein (Sp):
Any easily malleable objects such as ropes, string, loose clothing (imposing a -2 penalty to dexterity-based skills and saves unless removed), chains, etc within 20 feet of a tangled christmas lights golem twists and jumbles itself into a horrible mass of knots. To make use of these items once more requires a DC 30 Use Rope check and takes 2d6 minutes.

The golem may also make a touch attack that causes living creature with an inner anatomy to suffer great pain as their bowels themselves try to knot themselves. Those affected must make a DC 16 Fortitude save or suffer 1d4 subdual damage per round and become nauseated.

Spells such as Animate Rope, Remove Curse, Undulant Innards or other similiar transformation spells counteract and dispel the skein. The fortitude save DC is dexterity based.

2006-02-04, 06:22 PM
That golem actually looks like it might be a mildly interesting challenge ... Especially if there was a group of these things.