DemonicAngel
2009-06-07, 02:10 PM
Every so often, I shall put a few of my poems/songs/whatchacallit in this here thread. I want constructive criticism, and all around tips.
now, my first bunch:
Bad Wolf
note: a 2 voice song
Teller:
Once upon a moonless night
a hooded figure came to sight
crimson cloth and shine of silver
a vengeance angel, came to deliver
Wolf:
tracks of blood and smell of bodies
the monster had a taste for ladies
smell of children, and I heard my name
repeated twice, and the wolf did came
teller:
a little dress of woven red
still lays upon her bed
fear of strangers, fear of wolves
one step closer the hunter moves
Wolf:
they never did believe again
the cries of helpless men
I had my dinner on a silver platter
a girl or boy, it doesn't matter
teller:
inside his cave, upon the walls
fur and teeth and helpless calls
the hunter came and saw the truth
men do have the sharpest tooth
Wolf:
I killed again a man in red
and on his dead body I did fed
little red and big red too
I am a wolf and so are you
Teller:
and so our tale ends right here
where wolves seem to tread near
remember till the day you die
the monster is within you and I.
Death of Memories
So lonely, in this dark place
disappeared from there conscience
trapped forever, forgotten
oh this world is so rotten
A memory, pale and damned
doomed without an helping hand
Release me now, end the suffer
He has lost all his power
Once good, once so known
now wishing he wasn't even born
without a purpose, without a word
he has passed to the great beyond
I wonder, if once there
all will be bright and fair
might he, upon arriving
will find what he was craving
or will this, old fellow
not unkind neither shallow
find again, this bloody hell
oh, this story can't end well.
Disfigured
note: this song was written after I got my face wounded, and had a really big fight with a few very people I hold close to my hurt, so it has a lot of anger in it. no "die emo die" notes around here, okey?
And what am I expected to say
When I can't keep my demons at bay
And the heavens seem to fall down
Upon my existence, upon my crown
I'm the one behind the scenes
Always pulling all the strings
Oh please just tell me what to do
Master or puppet its up to you
[chorus]
All I wanted was to be happy
Making this world a better place
All I wanted was good for them
Oh what a bloody disgrace
Call my friend or foe I don't care
Watch when things go the wrong way
Make it right correct the trouble
Life seems like one or double
Hate me for my petty lies
See me cry and close my eyes
I am so scared of this place
Ruined mind inside a ruined face
[chorus]
My head hurts like bloody hell
This thing just can't end well
A car crash or catastrophe
feeling so empty inside of me.
now, my first bunch:
Bad Wolf
note: a 2 voice song
Teller:
Once upon a moonless night
a hooded figure came to sight
crimson cloth and shine of silver
a vengeance angel, came to deliver
Wolf:
tracks of blood and smell of bodies
the monster had a taste for ladies
smell of children, and I heard my name
repeated twice, and the wolf did came
teller:
a little dress of woven red
still lays upon her bed
fear of strangers, fear of wolves
one step closer the hunter moves
Wolf:
they never did believe again
the cries of helpless men
I had my dinner on a silver platter
a girl or boy, it doesn't matter
teller:
inside his cave, upon the walls
fur and teeth and helpless calls
the hunter came and saw the truth
men do have the sharpest tooth
Wolf:
I killed again a man in red
and on his dead body I did fed
little red and big red too
I am a wolf and so are you
Teller:
and so our tale ends right here
where wolves seem to tread near
remember till the day you die
the monster is within you and I.
Death of Memories
So lonely, in this dark place
disappeared from there conscience
trapped forever, forgotten
oh this world is so rotten
A memory, pale and damned
doomed without an helping hand
Release me now, end the suffer
He has lost all his power
Once good, once so known
now wishing he wasn't even born
without a purpose, without a word
he has passed to the great beyond
I wonder, if once there
all will be bright and fair
might he, upon arriving
will find what he was craving
or will this, old fellow
not unkind neither shallow
find again, this bloody hell
oh, this story can't end well.
Disfigured
note: this song was written after I got my face wounded, and had a really big fight with a few very people I hold close to my hurt, so it has a lot of anger in it. no "die emo die" notes around here, okey?
And what am I expected to say
When I can't keep my demons at bay
And the heavens seem to fall down
Upon my existence, upon my crown
I'm the one behind the scenes
Always pulling all the strings
Oh please just tell me what to do
Master or puppet its up to you
[chorus]
All I wanted was to be happy
Making this world a better place
All I wanted was good for them
Oh what a bloody disgrace
Call my friend or foe I don't care
Watch when things go the wrong way
Make it right correct the trouble
Life seems like one or double
Hate me for my petty lies
See me cry and close my eyes
I am so scared of this place
Ruined mind inside a ruined face
[chorus]
My head hurts like bloody hell
This thing just can't end well
A car crash or catastrophe
feeling so empty inside of me.