squishycube
2006-04-08, 10:28 AM
DISCLAIMER
Although I admit making this class was my idea, it was Stewart who coined the class first, here (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?action=display;board=gaming;num=1144466449 ;start=0#5).
I know I promised a Dimwit class too. I might do that later, one class per day is quite enough in my book.
This class is not meant to be a playable class in any way, its a joke.
TRIVIA:
When I started out with this class, I wanted to make it absolutely useless. But as I progressed, I thought of some abilities that are actually quite useful.
I fear his usefulness will never be appreciated though: who'd want to adventure with this guy?
OTHER:
Again for easy reading, this class is also available as an Open Office document (http://www.quibuscms.net/The%20Jerk.odt) (53 KB).
The Jerk
http://www.quibuscms.net/jerk.jpg
What's in a name? For a Jerk, a lot. The name says it all really, a high level Jerk is an absolute, unbearable jerk. Jerkiness has it perks though.
Alignment: Chaotic Stupid, Lawful Conceded, Neutral Whining, Whining Neutral, Laughing Annoying Evil or, Superiority Complex Good
Hit Die: AEC (As Entering Class)
Requirements
Special: You need to have a certain aptitude for Jerkiness to be able to enter this class. Such potential NEVER shows before 5th level. (DM's note: This is not the kind of 'Never' you find in the Alignment descriptions in the MM. This is the kind of never that means 'not ever, any time, anywhere'.)
Class Skills:
The Jerk's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are the same as the ones the class has the character last took before entering this class
Skill Points at Each Level
AEC
Table: The Jerk
{table]
LvlBase Attack BonusFort SaveRef SaveWill SaveSpecial
1stAECAECAECAECPath of the Jerk, Jerk Traits
2ndExtra Jerk
3rd
4thExtra Jerk
5th
6thExtra Jerk
7th
8thExtra Jerk
9th
10thComplete Jerk, Extra Jerk
[/table]
Class Features
All the following are class features of the Jerk
Weapon and Armor Proficiency
Jerks gain no proficiency with any weapon or armor.
Path of the Jerk
Once someone becomes a Jerk, the way back is difficult. People disliking you makes you more of a jerk and more likely to take more levels Jerk. Each time a Jerk gains enough experience to gain a level, he must make a Will save against DC 20 + (5 x Jerk Level), or not be able to take a level in another class than Jerk.
Jerk Traits
- Dumb Blond Partner (Gender is of the Jerks choice)
Somehow, Jerks always date that cute girl YOU wanted. Or that cute guy, for that matter. See the sidebar "The Jerk's Dumb Blond Partner" for more information on the DBP.
- Jerks gain the power of good fortune, which is usable once per day. This extraordinary ability allows the Jerk to reroll one roll that he has just made before the game master declares whether the roll results in success or failure. He must take the result of the reroll, even if it’s worse than the original roll.
- Most Jerks look normal enough (Although a little jerkiness in appearance is inevitable, but looks can be deceiving.), but as soon as they open their mouthes, the negativity just keeps piling up.
Whenever a Jerk fails a charisma based skill check or ability check, all other people in the room automatically blame the Jerks jerkiness for the failure and their attitude towards the Jerk becomes one worse. (Friendly becomes Indifferent, Unfriendly become Hostile.)
- A Jerk also gets a -2 penalty on every charisma based skill check or ability check. Note that this penalty is not applied to the DC's of the Jerks Extra Jerk abilities.
Extra Jerk
Upon attaining second level, and every two levels thereafter, the Jerk gains access to abilities that allow for extra jerkiness, or he can improve one of the Extra Jerk abilities below to 'improve' it in some way. Once chosen, these abilities can not be changed.
Boring Jerk, the Jerk talks or acts in a way that is so boring that any creature who can hear him fall to sleep. Treat this effect as the spell Deep Slumber. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can use this ability twice per day.
Improved Boredom, the Jerk's level of boredom becomes so extreme that he can even affect creatures with his Boring Jerk ability that are normally immune to this effect. He can now also affect Mindless creatures, constructs, undead and even elves. The Jerk can also use this ability an additional two times per day, for a total of four times per day. Also, the Jerk can now affect up to 18 HD worth of creatures.
Infuriating Jerk, the things the Jerk says or does are so enraging that any creature who can hear him becomes enraged, as per the spell Rage, except the targets are allowed a will save. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can affect up to 10 HD worth of creatures, starting with the creature with the lowest HD. Among creatures with equal HD, those who are closest to the Jerk are affected first. Hit Dice that are not sufficient to affect a creature are wasted.
Note that this does not change the creature's attitude towards the Jerk. The Jerk can use this ability twice per day.
Numbing Jerk, the things the Jerk says or does are so mind-numbing they paralyze a single target, as per the spell Hold Monster. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can use this ability twice per day. The Jerk needs to be at least a level four Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Improved Numbing, the numbing power of the Jerks words becomes so strong that they can paralyze groups of people, instead of one creature, as per the spell Mass Hold Person. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can now also use the ability an additional two times per day, for a total of four times per day. The Jerk can choose whether to use the Hold Monster version, or the Mass Hold Person version, but he cannot activate both at the same time. The Jerk needs to be at least a level 10 Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Twisting Jerk, the things the Jerk says or does are enough to drive any person crazy. The Jerk can make a single target confused. The effect lasts a number of rounds equal to his Jerk level. The DC to resist this effect is 13 + the Jerkis charisma modifier. This ability is usable once per day. The Jerk needs to be at least a level 6 Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Improved Twisting, once per week the Jerk can attempt to drive a creature permanently Insane, as per the spell. The Jerk needs to be at least a level 8 Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Complete Jerk
At tenth level, the Jerk reaches his ultimate goal of Jerkiness. The Jerk is now officially the most jerky person in the multiverse.
Note: If multiple tenth level jerks exist in the same multiverse, they are automatically aware of each others existence, but not location. The Creators of Old will take both Jerks to a arena on a plane of Mild Neutral alignment (See Manual of the Planes) within one week, where the Jerks are forced to fight to the death. This fight is inevitable and it is impossible to resist being brought to the arena.
Every Jerk has the ability to gain a Dumb Blond Partner, or DBP. The Jerk chooses the gender of the DBP.
Determine the powers of the DBP by following the rules for Cohorts, under the Leadership feat in the DMG. The DBP can only take levels in the NPC class Aristocrat though.
The jerk can dismiss the DBP at any time in a ritual called 'Dumping', and call forth a new one (of appropriate level, according to the Jerks Leadership Score.). The new DBP appears after spending one evening in a bar, pub or other establishment that sells alcohol, buying drinks for the new DBP. The material component for this ritual are at least two bottles of wine worth at least 10 GP each.
Ex-Jerks
A Jerk who manages to take a level in another class than Jerk keeps all the Jerks special abilities, but the effects of Jerk Traits or lessened. The Jerk must now fail a charisma based skill check or ability check by 2 or more before his jerkiness gets blamed. Also, the -2 penalty on charisma based skill checks and ability checks is lessened to -1.
The Jerk can actually learn something from being a Jerk for a while, but he can never completely lose the stigma associated with it.
Invent more Extra Jerk abilities if you want!
Although I admit making this class was my idea, it was Stewart who coined the class first, here (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl?action=display;board=gaming;num=1144466449 ;start=0#5).
I know I promised a Dimwit class too. I might do that later, one class per day is quite enough in my book.
This class is not meant to be a playable class in any way, its a joke.
TRIVIA:
When I started out with this class, I wanted to make it absolutely useless. But as I progressed, I thought of some abilities that are actually quite useful.
I fear his usefulness will never be appreciated though: who'd want to adventure with this guy?
OTHER:
Again for easy reading, this class is also available as an Open Office document (http://www.quibuscms.net/The%20Jerk.odt) (53 KB).
The Jerk
http://www.quibuscms.net/jerk.jpg
What's in a name? For a Jerk, a lot. The name says it all really, a high level Jerk is an absolute, unbearable jerk. Jerkiness has it perks though.
Alignment: Chaotic Stupid, Lawful Conceded, Neutral Whining, Whining Neutral, Laughing Annoying Evil or, Superiority Complex Good
Hit Die: AEC (As Entering Class)
Requirements
Special: You need to have a certain aptitude for Jerkiness to be able to enter this class. Such potential NEVER shows before 5th level. (DM's note: This is not the kind of 'Never' you find in the Alignment descriptions in the MM. This is the kind of never that means 'not ever, any time, anywhere'.)
Class Skills:
The Jerk's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are the same as the ones the class has the character last took before entering this class
Skill Points at Each Level
AEC
Table: The Jerk
{table]
LvlBase Attack BonusFort SaveRef SaveWill SaveSpecial
1stAECAECAECAECPath of the Jerk, Jerk Traits
2ndExtra Jerk
3rd
4thExtra Jerk
5th
6thExtra Jerk
7th
8thExtra Jerk
9th
10thComplete Jerk, Extra Jerk
[/table]
Class Features
All the following are class features of the Jerk
Weapon and Armor Proficiency
Jerks gain no proficiency with any weapon or armor.
Path of the Jerk
Once someone becomes a Jerk, the way back is difficult. People disliking you makes you more of a jerk and more likely to take more levels Jerk. Each time a Jerk gains enough experience to gain a level, he must make a Will save against DC 20 + (5 x Jerk Level), or not be able to take a level in another class than Jerk.
Jerk Traits
- Dumb Blond Partner (Gender is of the Jerks choice)
Somehow, Jerks always date that cute girl YOU wanted. Or that cute guy, for that matter. See the sidebar "The Jerk's Dumb Blond Partner" for more information on the DBP.
- Jerks gain the power of good fortune, which is usable once per day. This extraordinary ability allows the Jerk to reroll one roll that he has just made before the game master declares whether the roll results in success or failure. He must take the result of the reroll, even if it’s worse than the original roll.
- Most Jerks look normal enough (Although a little jerkiness in appearance is inevitable, but looks can be deceiving.), but as soon as they open their mouthes, the negativity just keeps piling up.
Whenever a Jerk fails a charisma based skill check or ability check, all other people in the room automatically blame the Jerks jerkiness for the failure and their attitude towards the Jerk becomes one worse. (Friendly becomes Indifferent, Unfriendly become Hostile.)
- A Jerk also gets a -2 penalty on every charisma based skill check or ability check. Note that this penalty is not applied to the DC's of the Jerks Extra Jerk abilities.
Extra Jerk
Upon attaining second level, and every two levels thereafter, the Jerk gains access to abilities that allow for extra jerkiness, or he can improve one of the Extra Jerk abilities below to 'improve' it in some way. Once chosen, these abilities can not be changed.
Boring Jerk, the Jerk talks or acts in a way that is so boring that any creature who can hear him fall to sleep. Treat this effect as the spell Deep Slumber. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can use this ability twice per day.
Improved Boredom, the Jerk's level of boredom becomes so extreme that he can even affect creatures with his Boring Jerk ability that are normally immune to this effect. He can now also affect Mindless creatures, constructs, undead and even elves. The Jerk can also use this ability an additional two times per day, for a total of four times per day. Also, the Jerk can now affect up to 18 HD worth of creatures.
Infuriating Jerk, the things the Jerk says or does are so enraging that any creature who can hear him becomes enraged, as per the spell Rage, except the targets are allowed a will save. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can affect up to 10 HD worth of creatures, starting with the creature with the lowest HD. Among creatures with equal HD, those who are closest to the Jerk are affected first. Hit Dice that are not sufficient to affect a creature are wasted.
Note that this does not change the creature's attitude towards the Jerk. The Jerk can use this ability twice per day.
Numbing Jerk, the things the Jerk says or does are so mind-numbing they paralyze a single target, as per the spell Hold Monster. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can use this ability twice per day. The Jerk needs to be at least a level four Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Improved Numbing, the numbing power of the Jerks words becomes so strong that they can paralyze groups of people, instead of one creature, as per the spell Mass Hold Person. Treat the Jerk as if his caster level was the same as his Jerk Level. The DC is charisma based. The Jerk can now also use the ability an additional two times per day, for a total of four times per day. The Jerk can choose whether to use the Hold Monster version, or the Mass Hold Person version, but he cannot activate both at the same time. The Jerk needs to be at least a level 10 Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Twisting Jerk, the things the Jerk says or does are enough to drive any person crazy. The Jerk can make a single target confused. The effect lasts a number of rounds equal to his Jerk level. The DC to resist this effect is 13 + the Jerkis charisma modifier. This ability is usable once per day. The Jerk needs to be at least a level 6 Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Improved Twisting, once per week the Jerk can attempt to drive a creature permanently Insane, as per the spell. The Jerk needs to be at least a level 8 Jerk to be able to use this ability.
Complete Jerk
At tenth level, the Jerk reaches his ultimate goal of Jerkiness. The Jerk is now officially the most jerky person in the multiverse.
Note: If multiple tenth level jerks exist in the same multiverse, they are automatically aware of each others existence, but not location. The Creators of Old will take both Jerks to a arena on a plane of Mild Neutral alignment (See Manual of the Planes) within one week, where the Jerks are forced to fight to the death. This fight is inevitable and it is impossible to resist being brought to the arena.
Every Jerk has the ability to gain a Dumb Blond Partner, or DBP. The Jerk chooses the gender of the DBP.
Determine the powers of the DBP by following the rules for Cohorts, under the Leadership feat in the DMG. The DBP can only take levels in the NPC class Aristocrat though.
The jerk can dismiss the DBP at any time in a ritual called 'Dumping', and call forth a new one (of appropriate level, according to the Jerks Leadership Score.). The new DBP appears after spending one evening in a bar, pub or other establishment that sells alcohol, buying drinks for the new DBP. The material component for this ritual are at least two bottles of wine worth at least 10 GP each.
Ex-Jerks
A Jerk who manages to take a level in another class than Jerk keeps all the Jerks special abilities, but the effects of Jerk Traits or lessened. The Jerk must now fail a charisma based skill check or ability check by 2 or more before his jerkiness gets blamed. Also, the -2 penalty on charisma based skill checks and ability checks is lessened to -1.
The Jerk can actually learn something from being a Jerk for a while, but he can never completely lose the stigma associated with it.
Invent more Extra Jerk abilities if you want!