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View Full Version : Gaming Friends, or Friends Through Gaming?



woodenbandman
2009-06-10, 12:46 PM
I've got a question for you guys:

When you game, do you game with friends who were friends before gaming, or did you become friends with your group through gaming? If you have experienced both, which do you prefer? If you have met your current group through gaming, do you hang together outside of game? If you have been friends with your group for a while, do you find that you prefer to hang out rather than game?

I have had both experiences. One of my groups, which actually got me into gaming, is composed of my good friends. We game together frequently, and it's a rather laid-back group filled with a mixed compliment of people. My other group is a group of guys, one of which was a friend of mine before, and the rest I met through gaming with them. This group's more serious and we tend to actually get into the gaming aspect rather than the hanging out aspect, even though we do hang out sometimes.

Sometimes I feel like I'd rather hang out with my first group than game with them.

TheCountAlucard
2009-06-10, 12:58 PM
The friends I'm currently gaming with were friends with me before we started gaming together.

Pharaoh's Fist
2009-06-10, 12:59 PM
Both. Definitely both.

Woodsman
2009-06-10, 01:00 PM
Seeing as I'm foraying into table-top soon, I wouldn't know about friends through gaming.

But I do game with my friends online. One does DM table-top (I'm joining that game, hopefully), and one wants to soon.

RTGoodman
2009-06-10, 01:14 PM
Let's see:

-Current group at home - my brother, my brother's friend, an old gaming friend, and a friend of that friend. Kind of a mix.

-Last big group - three friends from high school that I introduced to gaming, one guy they knew that THEY introduced. Again, a mix, but more "friends first."

-Group at college - my roommate, three people I got in touch with via classes or my FLGS. A mix, but more "gaming first."


So yeah, I've gamed with both, and I don't really prefer either. Usually all the groups, after a little while, end up doing non-gaming things anyway.

KIDS
2009-06-10, 01:24 PM
I would always prefer Gaming Friends. While Friends can be made through Gaming (got a few so far), so can enemies: while seeking some new players, I had recently ran into a psychopath who started sending me threats and it was a horrible experience in general.

When you start D&D with friends you know from before, they might not be stellar players, but you know they'll be your friends.

crimson77
2009-06-10, 01:53 PM
When you game, do you game with friends who were friends before gaming, or did you become friends with your group through gaming? If you have experienced both, which do you prefer? If you have met your current group through gaming, do you hang together outside of game? If you have been friends with your group for a while, do you find that you prefer to hang out rather than game?


I have experienced both. My first gaming group comprised a number of people that I knew and we learned how to play the game together.

I have also joined a few groups. I have had a good experience with joining groups of pre-established people. However, it can be harder to connect with these people because you may have little in common outside of gaming. Additionally, it can be awkward in going to someones house for the first time. I would recommend always meeting the person hosting the game before at a neutral location (e.g., coffee house) to make sure they seem alright; especially if you meet them on in internet.

I currently only play pbp games now. I have only experienced finding random people to game with. I have had some good success with a few of the people still keeping in touch even through we do not still game together.

Thajocoth
2009-06-10, 02:08 PM
Both.

I was friends with half the group beforehand, and the other half were friends of those friends who were invited.

Though... It's looking like I may have to leave them all soon... I'll find a new group wherever it is I'm being railroaded to.

Totally Guy
2009-06-10, 02:10 PM
I met my friends on this very website through the UK meetup. I openly admitted my situation of being new to the region and I played my very first games.

I've had to try to find things besides gaming to do and we've had a good couple of days out for barbeques and a jousting tournament. And there have been other times where they bring me along to various events. Most recently I mentioned that I might attend a naturist event to see what it would be like... and the whole group thought it was a good idea and now we're all going...:smalleek:

But the core of our activities is gaming.:smallbiggrin:

d13
2009-06-10, 02:15 PM
Some gaming friends, some friends through gaming. A very nice overall group. We game, we hang out, we do everything that a couple of good (or so) friends do.

lordhack
2009-06-10, 02:15 PM
A combination, I have two groups at the moment.

Group one consists of Three friends of known for about ten years (two of which sat through the first game I played.) A friend we met more recently, and the GM's girlfriend.

Group two consists of two of those ten year friends, the newer one, and two people who are friends of friends, though I'm quickly becoming friends with them as well.

valadil
2009-06-10, 02:17 PM
Both. I have friends that spontaneously decided to game. I also have friends who I met at a game. I don't really care where my friends come from. That said there are also people who I only hang out with because they show up to game. I can do without them.

Curmudgeon
2009-06-10, 02:25 PM
Both. I made a friend at work, and she introduced me to her gaming friends. We've been gaming together, mostly at my place, ever since then. These days with work and family schedules it's often hard to get everybody together for a game, but we'll meet for lunch just to catch up.

Artanis
2009-06-10, 02:58 PM
The first campaign I was in, I went with a friend, and didn't know anybody else there. The campaign eventually disintegrated due to ****ty DMing, and ended so badly that I avoided RPGs for five years :smalleek:

The last few years, since I got back into RPGs, it's kinda both at once for me. I mostly knew or knew of the people in my current group from another online community, but didn't really get to know them until we started gaming together.

TheDarkOne
2009-06-10, 03:04 PM
I agree with some advice I heard once, you should never game with people you wouldn't spend time with if you weren't gaming. As long as this is true, I don't think it matters whether you meet the people while gaming or not.

Goatman_Ted
2009-06-10, 03:14 PM
I almost always game with friends I've met elsewhere.
The only exceptions are people I meet while gaming with friends I've met elsewhere.

For some reason, everyone I've met through gaming has confirmed the reality of gamer stereotypes.

potatocubed
2009-06-10, 03:42 PM
I agree with some advice I heard once, you should never game with people you wouldn't spend time with if you weren't gaming. As long as this is true, I don't think it matters whether you meet the people while gaming or not.

Very true.

I tend to make friends with the people I game with, rather than rope non-gamer friends into gaming. Then again, this may have something to do with my appalling social skills - gaming gives me a handy framework that I can build genuine friendships on, rather than having to start from scratch.

Vortling
2009-06-10, 03:54 PM
Mostly it's been friends through gaming for me but that's because I relocated by several hundred miles in the past year.

woodenbandman
2009-06-10, 03:56 PM
One thing I think this has to do with is the motivations people have for gaming. My group of friends games for hanging out's sake (as far as I can tell), but the group of people I met through gaming game for gaming's sake. The gamers tend to be more serious at the game table.

AslanCross
2009-06-10, 04:55 PM
The people I game with are my former students (who've since graduated from high school). They've become my friends for the most part.

shadzar
2009-06-10, 05:01 PM
Some I game with because of gaming, and others found we mutally gamed and ended up gaming together after knowing eahc other for a time.

Just goes to show how much you REALLY know about your friends, when you learn years later that you have similar interests that were never mentioned prior. :smallconfused:

Cedrass
2009-06-10, 08:22 PM
I game with my friends. There's one guy tho who is a friend of a friend, but we kinda go well with each other so it's all good. Had to explain myself to him the first time my Druid grapled is throat while being in Dire Bear tho... But now that he's played with me and I did a couple of different characters, he knows I take gaming as a different thing than real life and he could kill my char and I wouldn't mind.

Not sure if I'd hang with hi outside of D&D tho.

Kroy
2009-06-10, 08:25 PM
All All but one of my normal friends fail at D&D. Horribly.

Thurbane
2009-06-10, 10:15 PM
The group I currently play with are all friends from outside of D&D, who I have known from between 4 years to 24 years.

I have played with 2 groups previously who I knew only through gaming, but the groups eventually drifted apart after a few months each...

Fortinbras
2009-06-11, 08:46 AM
My group are all friends of mine but none of them really know each other despite the fact that three of us go to the same high school. Because of this I am in charge of organizing everything. This has its ups and downs.

Narmoth
2009-06-11, 08:48 AM
Well, I've tried to introduce all my friends to gaming. And some of the people I game with was invited by others in the group, and I got to know them that way. But for me, there's no distinction between gaming and not-gaming friends.

Magicus
2009-06-11, 10:49 AM
My first group, through whom I first got into gaming, I met entirely because I wanted to get into gaming. This is my favorite group, since they are pretty much all good, dedicated roleplayers.

My second group, whom I introduced to gaming myself, is made up primarily of old friends of mine. They're fun to hang out with, but they don't have the focus of my other group. Still, I keep gaming with both of them, so they're both pretty good.

Kaiyanwang
2009-06-11, 11:24 AM
I'd say both.

ghost_warlock
2009-06-11, 11:26 AM
In my current gaming group, four out of the six of us are family (my brother, two of my cousins, and myself). The other members are my girlfriend and the nephew of a guy I went to high school with. With the exception of one of my cousins and the nephew, all of us knew each other long before we started gaming together.

My gaming group from Colorado mostly met through gaming and became friends through that.

My gaming group from before Colorado changed membership quite often, but largely consisted of either family members or people I'd met at school, became friends with, and then later found out they gamed.

Name_Here
2009-06-11, 11:50 AM
I hate playing RPGs with my friends. They always play unrealistic completely psychotic Characters who literally stab anybody who doesn't immediately hand over the McGuffin or a sandwich or anything else they need and then they bitch me out over being a bad DM.

I love them but they are terrible players. However the group I play with aren't people I would call friends since I don't really do anything with them besides gaming but they are joys to play with willing to meet me halfway on any issue, no being munchkins and willing to accept rulings in the name of progress and they play realistic characters and are actually willing to find the time to play the RPG without acting like they are doing me a favor.