Dragon Armor Artifact

[ReluctantDragon]

So, going through old data found an entry I had made a couple of years back for an epic level (35ish) artifact:

Storyline is there was a suit of armor made from the scales of each of the chromatic and each of the metallic dragons. These suits of armor each have their own abilities and egos. The one documented is the Red Dragon Armor.

+7 Full Plate Dragonscale Armor
+4 Dex Bonus
AC check penalty -3
Arcane spell failure 15%
Speed: 20ft.
Weight 30 lbs.

SQ:
The Red Dragon Armor is the most powerful of the chromatic scaled armors.
The armor enhances the the owner's skills and attributes to such an extent as to give the wearer unbelievable and highly deadly abilities.

Adjusts ability scores by wearer's modifiers prior to wearing armor. Hence a wearer who has a 20 STR puts on the armor and now has a 25(+5 modifier from strength). These are for all physical abilities, being STR, CON, DEX.

The wearer becomes immune to any evil dragon's frightul presence.

The armor grants DR 20/magic

The wearer of the armor can emit a frightful presence as a dragon would at will. Save DC is 30.

SR 25

Darkvision out to 120 ft.

Immunity to fire, magical sleep, and paralysis effects

Lowlight vision

Vulnerability to cold (takes 2x damage from any cold based attack)

Grants the user the Dragonthrall feat as detailed in the Draconomicon.

The Armor itself is highly intelligent and devious. The armor possesses an ego of 40 and will subvert the wearer to its will at every opportunity. The wearer of the armor must make a will save every 12 hours that he wears the armor or be held as under the Dominate Person spell(Save DC 25). Every 7 days the wearer must make 2 successive will saves(Save DC 25) or have his alignment moved one step towards Chaotic Evil.

In companion to this armor was a Greatsword forged and enchanted with the death of a Great wyrm red dragon to seal the dweomer.

Flare:
Crimson, +7 Flaming Burst, Unholy Power Greatsword
Hardness 50/ HP 50



Now then, I realize this is utter cheese. Noone need tell me that. I just wanted to post this so a few readers(whom I know) could see what horrible things potential DM's can create.

[Sulecrist]

In response to your cheese, I shall reveal my own:

Orb of Obsidian (Major Artifact)
Once per day, totally dispels all magic. Everywhere.

A Spoonful of Sugar (Minor Artifact)
Once per day, make the medicine go down. Everywhere.

[Imrix.]

And mine:

Sword of killily killy killyness of kill killing

Choose as many targets as you have primary attacks. Those targets are instantly obliterated. Give yourself a pat on the back.

[Nolfar]

And mine:

Sword of killily killy killyness of kill killing

Choose as many targets as you have primary attacks. Those targets are instantly obliterated. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Now I know what to put on my blank Munchkin card...

[Soniku]

not quite so munchkinny an item but still pretty cheesey!

Halberd of light (see avatar): when activated it turns into a lightsaber style magic halberd which cuts through anything but adamantium and inter-planar magic items. By casting a spell into the blade it becomes a super powered version of the spell, so casting fireball into it for example will cause the blade to turn red, increce in size and fireball anything it hits next round.

The halberd can also be used to parry incomeing spells and will inevitably revive the dark god Darkstar at the most inconvenient times possible.

[McBish]

Frying pan of endless bacon. Not to horrible but I thought is was worth mentioning.

[Nahal]

Gloves of supreme spellcasting: These cloth gloves are covered in arcane symbols and runes that appear normal unless the gloves have been activated. In order to activate the gloves and gain use of their power, the wearer must sacrifice a prepared spell, unused spell slot or a spell level (if a spontaneous caster). Once the necessary energy has been channeled into the gloves, the markings covering them glow brightly and the gloves themselves become covered in eldritch flame. The flames are harmless to the wearer and look identical to arcane fire as per the archmage class ability. The energy thus contained can be used for one of the following effects:
Irresistible magic: The next spell cast by the wearer ignores spell resistance, provided the gloves were charged with a spell level equal or greater than the spell currently being cast. If not, the stored energy dissipated without effect. This does not affect epic spells, even if a spell slot higher than 10th level is used.
Unavoidable magic: The next spell cast by the wearer adds a bonus to the spell's save DC equal to the level of the spell slot sacrificed. Likewise this does not affect epic spells, though the spell that benefits from the effect can be of higher level than the one sacrificed.
Activating the gloves is a swift action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity. Charging the gloves is akin to casting a quickened spell. The gloves remain active for up to 5 rounds, after which time the energy dissipates. However, while the gloves are activated the wearer's spell resistance (if any) is negated. In addition, each round that the gloves remain active but unused the effective level of the spell contained within decreases by one.

Especially cheesy if combined with the multispell epic feat from ELH. Even cheesier if a deity with the Divine Spellcasting power (Deities & Demigods) gets ahold of them.

[Arakune]

The ring of infinity loop:

once you use a spell, you can "copy" it and cast the same spell another time, and then "copy" it again, and again...
no limits to to use, but must be the last spell you did.

"Fireball x20!!! Hum? 'Detect magic'? NO WAY!"

[Ryver]

Some major, priceless artifacts:


Gem Box: This blue box is about the size of a grapefruit and appears to be made of cobalt-blue porcelain. It is covered in elaborate gold leaf, and inset with blue and yellow gems.

The one who carries this box, if a spellcaster, may at any time choose a spell they can currently cast, and cast it immediately as a free action. This effect may only be used once per turn.

Any item placed inside the box is sent directly to a random level of The Abyss (or should The Abyss not exist, it is sent somewhere equally ghastly, or destroyed permanently). If any of the gems are removed, the Gem Box (and any gems removed) will turn black and crumble to dust.


Economizer: This gold pendant carries a large blue gem in the center and hangs on a thick, gold chain.

The wearer of this pendant may cast any number of spells in a day. Use-per-day magic items are not affected by the Economizer.

Spellcasters still require rest in order to properly cast; 24 hours after the end of their last rest period, they will find that their spells will not function. Spellcasters who prepare their spells still need to do so, but may cast their prepared spells any number of times in the next 24 hours.

Should the gem be removed from the pendant, or the pendant from the chain, the Economizer (Gem, pendant, and chain) will turn black and crumble to dust.

[ReluctantDragon]

Some major, priceless artifacts:




Hey Ryver, those seem familiar, is that Final Fantasy converted items? If so, that is very cool.

[Dragonmuncher]

Hey Ryver, those seem familiar, is that Final Fantasy converted items? If so, that is very cool.



Yeah, they're from FF6. Cool stuff.

[Gordon]

And mine:

Sword of killily killy killyness of kill killing

Choose as many targets as you have primary attacks. Those targets are instantly obliterated. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Or, a la Macilion:

Sword of killy killy killyness of killy killing.

Kills everything. Everywhere. ;D

[Ping_T._Squirrel]

Figurine of Wondrous Power: Chuck Norris

When animated, Chuck Norris arrives. He then bends physics to roundhouse kick everything in sight; he wins.

[Ryver]

Figurine of Wondrous Power: Chuck Norris

When animated, Chuck Norris arrives. He then bends physics to roundhouse kick everything in sight; he wins.
And crush peoples' heads between his mighty thighs!

Out of all the items on this page, this is the most broken of all.


Yeah, they're from FF6. Cool stuff.
Bingo. You win a Genji Glove. :D

Here's another FF game-wrecker:

Ribbon: This pink length of ribbon feels slightly warm to the touch. When attached to a person (eg. woven into their hair, tied around the arm, etc), they feel incredibly healthy. Any character wearing this Ribbon finds themselves immune to the following: poisons, common colds, confusion (ie. the status condition), extraordinary and supernatural diseases (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/naturalSpecialAbilities.htm#disease), headaches, magical silence, stunning, magical sleep, magical blindness, influenza, magical deafness, morning sickness, Hold Person, fear effects, petrification, paralyzation, and hangovers. Also, they find their sleep to be incredibly restful.

Affixing a Ribbon will not cure pre-existing conditions, including pre-existing disease, poisoning, loss of senses, headaches, hangovers, or nausea. It is also unable to prevent the contraction of lycanthropy, vampirism, or sexually transmitted infections. Also, it cannot prevent pregnancy, and is not intended as a form of birth control.

[BigBull17]

Figurine of Wondrous Power: Chuck Norris

When animated, Chuck Norris arrives. He then bends physics to roundhouse kick everything in sight; he wins.

That is toooooooooo great.

How about Tears of Chuck- Will cure anything, and bring things back from the dead, no matter how they died. However they are very rare cause Chuck Norris doesnt cry.

[Shecky]

+9000 Teflon Vestment of Politics

Regardless of how low the wearer's intelligence, wisdom and charisma may be, wearer's followers ignore all criticism and become fanatically loyal. Wearer can do no wrong in their eyes in Diplomacy (International Idiot) checks.

[starwoof]

The Daemon Sword
Against any target it hits, the Daemon Sword rips the souls from their bodys and sends them to Hell. This power is usable as many times as needed and affects any creature. It even works on gods.


^^^Thats the sword that let my half dragon become the god of strength, earth, and power^^^

[Sulecrist]

Here's another one!

Medicine (Minor artifact)

Resurrects everything, everywhere. Unless you can't get it down. In which case you die.

Make a DC55 Fortitude save to not choke on the ghastly, ghastly taste.

[NEO|Phyte]

The Blackrock Sword

Forged from an alloy of steel and a strange substance known only as "Blackrock," this greatsword is a fearsome weapon, not because of its composition, but from the Demon trapped within. Whenever the Blackrock Sword lands the killing blow on a creature, it gains a number of charges equal to the creature's HD, to a maximum of 100 charges. As a standard action, the wielder of the sword can force the caged demon to do the following:

Cast Fireball as the desired location (10d6, DC 30) [5 charges]
Refresh used arcane spell slots, allowing them to be reused without the need for rest [5 charges/level of the spell slot]
Cast Finger of Death as a melee touch attack on a chosen victim. Should the target die from this, its soul is irrevocably destroyed, preventing all forms of resurrection (DC 30, the demon may refuse if it doesnt feel that the target is worth the effort) [50 charges]

In addition to these powers, the sword functions as a +5 Keen Ghost Touch Adamantine Greatsword of Mighty Cleaving.

Should the demon be released somehow, the sword loses all magical ability, and its wielder takes a -4 penalty to all attack rolls due to the unweildy nature of the blade.

[Hurlbut]

Armor of Nurfing: A natural 20 on any attack roll against the wearer is nullified. Further more the wearer has AC+50, Dex Bonus +10, Armor Penalty Check -0.

[Nahal]

Here's another one!

Medicine (Minor artifact)

Resurrects everything, everywhere. Unless you can't get it down. In which case you die.

Make a DC55 Fortitude save to not choke on the ghastly, ghastly taste.

Unless combined with your spoonful of sugar.

Here's another one:

Rune of Ultimate Dispelling:

This innocuous-looking rune is carved on a slab of clay the size of a large cracker. When broken, it dispels all magic. Everywhere. Even the gods. No magic in the campaign anymore.

Based on true events in a campaign I play. Only it was a resonance effect due to several items that amplified our bard's dispel.

Cursed coin of GM Wrath:

A dragon eats you. Only works if you've ruined the plotline three times.

[Sulecrist]

Unless combined with your spoonful of sugar.


Exactly.

White Cowboy Hat (Major Artifact)

Makes you look really, really cool.
+40 Charisma, +20 on Will Saves, and +15 on all Initiative rolls. You can never fail a skill check.

[Ryver]

Nerf Bat
Exotic One-handed Melee Weapon
Damage: 1d4-2* Bludgeoning
Critical: x2
Weight: 1lb
Special:
* The Nerf Bat deals only nonlethal damage (you may not take -4 to deal lethal damage with this weapon).

On an unmodified attack roll of 20, roll again. If the roll beats the targets AC, the Nerf Bat knocks off the enemy's head as per the Vorpal ability. Instead of going "snicker-snack", however, it goes "splortch".
Meh. Mine aren't cream-filled enough to be twinkie-ish.

[Infinity_Biscuit]

[snip]
Adjusts ability scores by wearer's modifiers prior to wearing armor. Hence a wearer who has a 20 STR puts on the armor and now has a 25(+5 modifier from strength). These are for all physical abilities, being STR, CON, DEX.
[snip]

Does this mean that a character with a negative modifier in a stat will actually have that stat weakened by donning this armour?

[Spuddly]

Carboard Tube of Civilization

Damage: 1d10
Critical: 18-20x3
Weight: 4 oz
Special:
On an unmodified attack roll of 20, roll again. If the roll beats the targets AC, the Cardboard Tube slices the enemy neatly in two. Upon the enemy's next turn, or if anything physically interacts with it (bull rushed, attacked, spell cast on it, bumped, or takes any action), the instantly and neatly slides in half, dead.
The Cardboard Tube may be wielded with 1 or 2 hands without penalty, granted they have proficiency with a cardboard tube. Without EWP: Cardboard Tube, all attacks have a penalty of -4.

The Cardboard Tube of Civilization was once wielded by a great samurai. When the samurai laid down his armor and retired to more peaceful things, he returned the Tube from whence it came; a garabge can.

This artifact functions as a +5 Ghost Touch Adamantine Cardboard Tube of Supreme Cleave.

In addition, the Tube may be used to deliver lethal or non-lethal damage without penalty. The Tube is immune to damage. For the purpose of DR, treat it as Adamantine.

The Tube also bestows a +4 bonus to all diplomacy, bluff and intimidate checks.

[MagFlare]

The Stick (A Homestartifact)

If the user pushes one end of this +4 quarterstaff into the ground and intones the names of up to five different beings on the same plane of existence as the user, each will be affected as though a geas/quest had been cast on him or her. The message is simple: "Meet me at The Stick." The subjects of this effect gain a perfect awareness of The Stick's location as long as it remains upright. If The Stick is removed from the ground at any point, the geas/quest is dispelled.

[ReluctantDragon]

Does this mean that a character with a negative modifier in a stat will actually have that stat weakened by donning this armour?


That would be correct. Not good for the weak people.

[Quirinus_Obsidian]

Rolling Buttress of Unstoppable cleave

You and 3 of your party members step into the Rolling Buttress. You become enclosed on all sides, except for a small opening such as a Window. Hanging out of the Window is a Huge - sized longsword. If you "drive" the Rolling Buttress in the direction of a foe, and they are within the range of the weapon, you behead the targets with a single blow. If you happen to miss, you may make a Reverse check of DC45, based on STR. If you make the check, you can "drive" the Rolling Buttress backwards to make another attempt. If you fail the str check, you must speed up the Rolling Buttress to impossible speeds.

Treat the weaon as a Huge Adamantine +1 Vorpal longsword.

This is also known as "Drive-by Cleave".

[Bug-a-Boo]

This is also known as "Drive-by Cleave".


Oh yeah! I'm Always up for some drive by cleavage! ;D

[onepeople]

The Mootal. A large, cubic monster apparently made from black marble. it will absorb any attack targeted it at and take damage/d10. In the next turn it will deal the damage right back out. Killed by a halflings unarmed attack. Good for getting rid of annoying power-spellcasters from the party. ace, if complety unrelated name