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View Full Version : [PEACH] Dungeon Adventure Submission. 4th ed.



Hyrael
2009-06-29, 01:07 AM
I've had an idea kicking around for the last few weeks, and I've decided to have a crack at getting it published. I'd appreciate any tips or advice you might have, and how likely you think it is to be picked up.

Years ago, the not-exactly insane Doctor Thavas conducted his numerous studies into the esoteric arts within a great castle purchased from a local landowner. Discoveries magical, philosophical, scientific, and medical were made within the great rambling building's walls. However, it is unhealthy for a mind to bend itself to such work unrelentingly, lest it break under the strain...

And this is exactly why the good doctor was in the habit of taking a yearly vacation to the seaside, to unwind and blow off some steam. This, plus the company of his servants and creations, allowed him to avoid succumbing to conventional madness, and maintain his trademark good humor while pushing back the boundaries of mortal knowledge. Until, that is, a bad oyster from a dodgy shellfish stall ensured that that particular vacation was his last.

This was 10 years ago, and during this entire time, the castle has laid fallow, slowly falling into disrepair, it's various experiments rotting and the test subjects escaped. Magical leakages and collapses of wards have allowed unsavory Things to worm their way into the structure, and it has become a place of dread to the local villagers who live within its shadow. Now, via Eminent Domain, it's ownership has gone over to the local ruler, who is in need of a few hired hands to give the place an airing, do something about the mold, and clear the tentacle-monsters out of the flooded basement.

The PCs are hired by a local official of the kingdom to investigate and make safe for renovation the sprawling, many-winged structure. Without, are paranoid and distrustful peasants, who beleive the entire place should be razed, remembering a nasty incident involving a murderous monster accidentaly released 15 years ago, and still held within the castle. Within, they find a over-loyal hunchbacked servant, still awaiting his master's return, and a strange patchwork girl claiming to be the "daughter" of Thavas, who only wants her older brother "rescued" from the bowels of the dungeon. They trek through chull-infested basement, lethal greenhouse, and puzzling laboratory, dealing with escaped test subjects and annoying riddles. But the suspicion grows that they are being deceived, and the innocence of Embla's brother is called into question.

Ask is a Blaspheme of singular intellect, now driven nearly mad by rejection and hatred. Originally created to serve as a lab assistant, he blossomed into a competent mage in his own right, but an impulsive visit of him and his sister to the village, and his naivete combined with the understandable fear of the residents led to an extremely ugly altercation. Thavas locked him in the lower lab for his own good, where he could devote himself to transplanar research and work through his remorse. That didn't work out too well. Now thoroughly insane, he plots messy revenge on the townsfolk for daring to threaten his sister and reject him all those years ago, via a a device capable of thinning the boundaries between conventional reality and the Far Realm. Embla is blissfully unaware of his current state, while the villaigers still remember his bloody rampage. The true nature and goals of Ask is left unclear until the end, and the party might be able to convince him to let go of his hatred. But even if they manage to stop his plan, the Things beyond his gateway are unlikely to be happy...

This adventure would contain elements of horror and dark humor, taking inspiration from classic Hammer Horror and Mad Scientist motifs, with a dash of Lovecraft. Memorable NPCs, a complex location full of classic puzzles and strange traps, and setpiece encounters that will require creative tactics to overcome. Classic "clear-out-the-monsters" dungeon crawling with charming characters and unexpected twists. Monsters used might include the MMII's Fell Taints, several undead, lightning elementals, a acid-breathing shark, torch-and-pitchfork-wielding mobs, homunclui, brains in jars, and a Blaspheme Wizard.

Sample Encounters: The way is blocked by a pair of chuuls and their swarming spawn, who dwell within the flooded basement. The mechanism to pump out the water must be charged with electricity by lightning elementals goaded by the party, which leaves the chuuls easy pickings.

Ask and Embla were the end result of techniques refined by years of experimentation, and one of the castle's rooms still houses their flawed, misshapen older siblings. the party must fight its way through these abominations, which serve as a reminder of their adorable new friend's unsavory origins.

Hyrael
2009-06-29, 01:33 AM
This is more-or-less my submission summary I'm sending in to wizards, and I want to make sure that there isnt some disqualifying flaw somewhere in it. For one thing, I fear it might be too long and wordy.

I think that the concept is fairly solid, and it has most of the elements of a really good adventure (memorable NPCs, humor, crazy situations, some creepy stuff, lots of potential for PC hijinks, puzzles).

Any specific ideas or critiques, or pitfalls in adventure design I should try to avoid?

Shadow_Elf
2009-06-29, 11:17 AM
I would tell Wizards, as part of your submission, the intended character level for the adventure. Otherwise, I think this is good enough for a submission - there's no point in having all the encounters mapped and planned out if there's a chance it won't get in.

Looks like a lot of fun. I'm a DDI subscriber, and I've been really impressed by the dungeons in the magazines, but I would never use a pre-made dungeon (takes out all the fun of making it), so I usually just glance over them for unique monsters or traps I could use in my own dungeons.

So, for people like me, you might consider making a few unique monster statblocks to keep those who may not use the whole adventure interested.
Just a thought, and far from necessary though.

Hyrael
2009-06-29, 12:46 PM
I would tell Wizards, as part of your submission, the intended character level for the adventure. Otherwise, I think this is good enough for a submission - there's no point in having all the encounters mapped and planned out if there's a chance it won't get in.

Looks like a lot of fun. I'm a DDI subscriber, and I've been really impressed by the dungeons in the magazines, but I would never use a pre-made dungeon (takes out all the fun of making it), so I usually just glance over them for unique monsters or traps I could use in my own dungeons.

So, for people like me, you might consider making a few unique monster statblocks to keep those who may not use the whole adventure interested.
Just a thought, and far from necessary though.

Is the new Dungeon stuff really that good? I stopped reading when my "free" subscription ended, and what I saw wasnt nearly as good material as Paizo's stuff. Then again, I like plot and NPCs more than just dungeons. The main point of this one would be the zany inhabitants that have to be interacted with.

The beauty of this is that I intend to write it up anyways, since I'm sending my players through it this summer. Whether it gets accepted or not determines if it will be a formal typed write-up after the "playtest," or if it stays handwritten in a notebook

Oh, and I was going to include the Level. It was just in the e-mail subject line (3rd).