America!

[Decoy Lockbox]

So, this thread was largely inspired by the fascinating inter-cultural dialogue to be found in this thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116405). I thought it would interesting and/or comical to have non-Americans ask cultural questions about the United States, and have Americans attempt to answer them.

So without further ado, here is a song to introduce the thread:

"America", by Motorhead

America, hot as hell, hysterical, cast your spell
The endless road, another night to bend your mind
White line fever, I think that state patrol car's still behind
America, cold as death, up to Canada, Crystal Meth
Another West Coast turnaround and back to start
Yakima Reservation, just another broken heart

America, liked it fine, Sinsemilla, Ripple Wine
Another Schoolgirl with her daddy's Pontiac
Another killer from the wrong side of the tracks

America, fast cars
America, the girls, the bars
America, don't make no fuss
America, get on the bus

[Jade_Tarem]

Honestly, I'm not sure I want my country represented by thirteen lines, each a non sequitur, a stereotype, or a reference to criminal activities.

[Innis Cabal]

Gotta agree...America is so vast a single song by a single band isn't going to fit it.

[DamnedIrishman]

Dear Americans,

Most of you can't drink legally until you're twenty-one. YOU LOSE. The War of Independence doesn't seem quite so clever now, does it?

Sincerely,

Your Rightful Former Masters (God Save Her Majesty the Queen).

[An Enemy Spy]

Dear Britons,
We do it anyway. What's your point?
Your Future Masters

[arguskos]

Dear Americans,

Most of you can't drink legally until you're twenty-one. YOU LOSE. The War of Independence doesn't seem quite so clever now, does it?

Sincerely,

Your Rightful Former Masters (God Save Her Majesty the Queen).
Dear DamnedIrishman,

Yeah well, tell the gorram fundies that. :smallmad: Most of us don't like it either.

Also, don't go insulting the War of Independence, or I'll bring up some of your disastrous wars. :smalltongue:

Sincerely,

A Sane American

[Dr. Bath]

Then why have the law? That's what doesn't make sense. Part of the allure of drinking when younger is simply because you're not allowed. (admittedly most peoples appetite for booze does not abate for quite some time after it is legal to drink it)

@^ A country with as long and grand a history as ours can't be without the occasional failure. It would make everyone else look bad. :smallcool: :smalltongue:

[DamnedIrishman]

Dear Britons,
We do it anyway. What's your point?
Your Future Masters

Dear Americans,

Actually, our future masters are the innumerate legions of China. They're the superpower now, baby.

Sincerely,
One Ex-Superpower to Another.

[Emperor Ing]

I am an american and i'm proud. And I know for a fact we get ticked when certain people from 'across the pond' feign pseudosuperiority. :smallannoyed:

[An Enemy Spy]

Also, we didn't go from being the largest empire in the world to a tiny island in less than a century. :smalltongue:

I'm just kidding, you know I love you.

[DamnedIrishman]

Also, we didn't go from being the largest empire in the world to a tiny island in less than a century. :smalltongue:

I'm just kidding, you know I love you.

Nah, we were bored of the whole empire thing. Go ahead, have your fun. You'll grow out of it.
After all, we've had a headstart of hundreds of years.

We love you too. If it wasn't for America, we'd only be able to sneer at Europe, Africa, Asia and Australasia. Then we'd never have any fun.

[Trizap]

Dear Americans,

Most of you can't drink legally until you're twenty-one. YOU LOSE. The War of Independence doesn't seem quite so clever now, does it?

Sincerely,

Your Rightful Former Masters (God Save Her Majesty the Queen).

so? I like to keep my health thank you, cause drinking is bad for your brain.

so YOU are the ones losing here.

[The Rose Dragon]

Dear Americans,

Why do you suck at making pizza, burgers and coke? How come a country as lowly as mine be your betters in creating junk food and carbonated drinks?

Sincerely,

Someone

[Emperor Ing]

I think we should change topics. Instead of letting the instigator instigate a flame war between Us and Them, let's talk about what we actually LIKE about America without going into politics or religion. Besides...
http://www.itusozluk.com/img.php/d6e7a93a5cf756d7e315c755c44f3d4710397/don+t+feed+the+troll
DONT FEED THE TROLLS!

[DamnedIrishman]

I think we should change topics. Instead of letting the instigator instigate a flame war between Us and Them, let's talk about what we actually LIKE about America without going into politics or religion. Besides...
http://www.itusozluk.com/img.php/d6e7a93a5cf756d7e315c755c44f3d4710397/don+t+feed+the+troll
DONT FEED THE TROLLS!

So, what do you like then?

I'll put forward F. Scott Fitzgerald and the Beat Generation as your biggest attractions, but they're mostly all dead now...

[Dr. Bath]

Also, we didn't go from being the largest empire in the world to a tiny island in less than a century. :smalltongue:

I'm just kidding, you know I love you.

India was too wet. Australia was too hot. Turns out the UK is juuust right. So we gave up and stayed at home. (also crippling loans from the US after the second world war made survival of the empire almost impossible to maintain as a single entity)

One thing I don't get though is why so many US citizens are so damn jingoistic and proud. Here, if you're more than a tiny bit proud of the UK you are often branded a bit weird. Great Britain's alright. Could be better.

[An Enemy Spy]

I actually despise alchohol.
Who else is looking forward to Independence Day, celebrating when we gave the Brits the finger and then kicked them off our land? Seriously, who wants to be part of a country renowned for snobby aristocrats who sit around drinking tea and playing a sport as silly as cricket?
Rats, by the time I post the war's over.

I enjoy the sports we have here.

[Trizap]

I think we should change topics. Instead of letting the instigator instigate a flame war between Us and Them, let's talk about what we actually LIKE about America without going into politics or religion. Besides...
http://www.itusozluk.com/img.php/d6e7a93a5cf756d7e315c755c44f3d4710397/don+t+feed+the+troll
DONT FEED THE TROLLS!

I like how we can say anything we want (while not on TV)
do anything we want (as long as it doesn't break the law)
and learn about anything we want (even other cultures)

[DamnedIrishman]

Seriously, who wants to be part of a country renowned for snobby aristocrats who sit around drinking tea and playing a sport as silly as cricket?

Considering how America is normally considered over here? I'd much rather be a snobby aristocrat sitting around drinking tea and playing cricket (which is deliberately daft and long-winded so we can drink more tea during matches) than... you know...

[Emperor Ing]

Considering how America is normally considered over here? I'd much rather be a snobby aristocrat sitting around drinking tea and playing cricket (which is deliberately daft and long-winded so we can drink more tea during matches) than... you know...

How is America seen over there, besides the obvious [Censored by the Inquisition] :smallamused:

[Trizap]

Considering how America is normally considered over here? I'd much rather be a snobby aristocrat sitting around drinking tea and playing cricket (which is deliberately daft and long-winded so we can drink more tea during matches) than... you know...

greedy corporate executives and corrupt lobbyists?

a bunch of jerkish arrogant celebrities?

an army of idiot crazy injured sports players?

barbaric idiotic tourists with big cheap cameras?

lawyers? :smallamused:

[Spiryt]

do anything we want (as long as it doesn't break the law)
and learn about anything we want (even other cultures)

Uh, how it's different that any other more or less democratic country?

Basically everyone can do anything he want if it isn't banned by law. :smalltongue:

[Trizap]

Uh, how it's different that any other more or less democratic country?

Basically everyone can do anything he want if it isn't banned by law. :smalltongue:

exactly my point.

[Emperor Ing]

Dear Americans,

Why do you suck at making pizza, burgers and coke? How come a country as lowly as mine be your betters in creating junk food and carbonated drinks?

Sincerely,

Someone

Our Pizza is the best (Take a pilgrimage to Chicago, Illinois) our Burgers is the best, and Coka Cola and Pepsi are American based businesses. :smallamused:

[DamnedIrishman]

How is America seen over there, besides the obvious [Censored by the Inquisition] :smallamused:

I think that telling you would be in breach of the forum rules. Still, at least your reputation is starting to get a bit better since the last election, which we shall go into no further because we're not here to talk politics.

One of my favourite jokes about America, by Ed Byrne:


My only problem with the Grand Canyon is Americans are a little bit too proud of it for my liking. Because they're very proud of it, they are, they love it. I spent two and a half weeks in that Grand Canyon, and if one more American was to say to me "[mock American accent] Hey! Bet you don't have anything like this in Ireland, huh?!", there was gonna be trouble! Honestly! They are so proud of that hole in the ground, you'd think they'd all got together one day with a load of shovels and dug it them-[naughty words]-selves! And let's face it, if they were gonna do that, they would have got the Irish to do it for them, anyway.

Other good things about America: you produce some good bourbons. Unfortunately, you also invented Jack Daniel's tenessee sour mash, so you lose all the bonus points you gained for services to whiskey.

[Dr. Bath]

Jingoistic warmongerers. Is another.

There are plenty if you really want to know. Whilst many Europians' view of the US has improved slightly since ehm... last november, it's still not all that great.


exactly my point.

Then why are you proud of the US rather than proud of a certain political system that grants you those rights? It's not like the US invented democracy. Or freedom of speech.

That's what I don't get.

[Emperor Ing]

...
yeah, this thread is polluted by trolls and.....trolls. Expect a Mod Inquisition very soon. As much as I love debating, I can't really discuss anything without breaking forum rules.
*Leaves thread*

[The Rose Dragon]

Our Pizza is the best (Take a pilgrimage to Chicago, Illinois) our Burgers is the best, and Coka Cola and Pepsi are American based businesses. :smallamused:

No; no; and trust me, the exact taste of Coca-Cola varies wildly from country to country. American Coca-Cola... not really great.

[darkninjaoflight]

Dear Americans,

Why do you suck at making pizza, burgers and coke? How come a country as lowly as mine be your betters in creating junk food and carbonated drinks?

Sincerely,

Someone

and that country is....?



This thread went downhill very fast. No one wants to learn anything. They just want to brag they think they're better, joking or not. Alas : P

[Dr. Bath]

I asked a question!

No one answered...

@^ also, it's Turkey, I think.

[Mando Knight]

Yeah well, tell the gorram fundies that. :smallmad: Most of us don't like it either.

Hey, now, don't go bringing politics in here. There's plenty of conservatives here who'd like to be able to drink before 21, too. In AMERICA!

I've actually never been out of the country myself... but I have at least traveled through 30? of the contiguous states, which altogether is quite a bit of diversity. From the sinkholes and corn fields of southern Illinois to the dense cities of LA and NYC, to the mountainous serenity of the Rockies and Sierra-Nevada ranges, to the deserts of Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico. And the fields of Iowa. And the frigid cold of Minnesota winter... (though not as bad as Canadian, Alaskan, or Siberian winters, I'd gamble...)

And I was in New Orleans just months before it was hit by Katrina...

IN AMERICA!

[Dr. Bath]

Hey, now, don't go bringing politics in here. There's plenty of conservatives here who'd like to be able to drink before 21, too. In AMERICA!

I've actually never been out of the country myself... but I have at least traveled through 30? of the contiguous states, which altogether is quite a bit of diversity. From the sinkholes and corn fields of southern Illinois to the dense cities of LA and NYC, to the mountainous serenity of the Rockies and Sierra-Nevada ranges, to the deserts of Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico. And the fields of Iowa. And the frigid cold of Minnesota winter... (though not as bad as Canadian, Alaskan, or Siberian winters, I'd gamble...)

And I was in New Orleans just months before it was hit by Katrina...

IN AMERICA!

Aren't you curious though? About other cultures, rather than just different weather and geography? I've met quite a few Americans who really don't care about anywhere else, and personally I can't comprehend why. Is it actually all that common?

[An Enemy Spy]

I'm waiting for nice questions. All I've got so far have been insults. I love having nice intelligent conversations with foreigners.

[An Enemy Spy]

Aren't you curious though? About other cultures, rather than just different weather and geography? I've met quite a few Americans who really don't care about anywhere else, and personally I can't comprehend why. Is it actually all that common?

No. The world's view of us is based off a few hicks and warmongers that everyone in America also hates.

[Roland St. Jude]

Sheriff of Moddingham: Real world politics is an Inappropriate Topic on this forum. That includes wars over whose nationality is better and arguments about which government has the best/worst laws. Also, there's a certain trolling nature to insulting a whole nation, many of whose nationals post here. Flaming likewise can be individual or collective.

Not every post in this thread is in violation of the Forum Rules, but most are. I don't have the time to scrub each one, but this thread is remaining locked, so I leave them here as a monument to what we don't want to happen here. Kudos to those of you who stayed away or fled the field without getting drawn into it.