Things you never do in the OotS world

[Berserk Monk]

Brake Roy's sword.

Hurt Hinjo's dog.

Drunkenly kiss Vaarsuvius.

Get on O-Chul's bad side.

Get on Miko's non-Lawful Good side.

Get on any of Belkar's sides (they're all bad, and sorry if this sounded vaguely sexual; that was not my intent).

Deny Thog ice cream or rocket skates.

[mockingbyrd7]

Threaten Vaarsuvius' family.

[DnDgeek13]

go up against belkar if you have orange skin. Yik Yik and hobgoblins always die around him

[KBF]

Get on any of Belkar's sides (they're all bad, and sorry if this sounded vaguely sexual; that was not my intent).

Eh, it works either way.

[Cleverdan22]

Pick the shortest straw.

[Berserk Monk]

Pick the shortest straw.

Reference to which strip(s)?

[Ron Miel]

Tamper with the fundamental natural order (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0203.html)

[Adeen]

Reference to which strip(s)?

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0130.html

[averagejoe]

Reference to which strip(s)?

Itempalooza (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0130.html)

Edit: Ninjas make me sad.

[CallingCtulhu]

Say 'I think we lost him.', or 'I sure hope nothing bad happens.' Etc...

&

Be a cleric in a foreign land

[Thanatosia]

Insult V before late afternoon (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0020.html)

Comment on Haley's Boots (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0608.html)

Say "You go, I'll Hold them off" (unless you have an unrevealed name in reserve) (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0472.html)

[xyzzy]

Taunt the god-killing abomination.

[Kaytara]

Make cracks about Belkar's height.

Make cracks about Haley's age.

Wear a short skirt when flying.

Say what horrible things would happen if your higher-ups ever found out what you're doing behind their backs.

Brag about how you're going to beat the system when you're three feet away from the guy charged with upholding the system.

Brag about how you're going to beat the system when there are trigger-happy sleep-deprived expedience-minded anti-heroes loose in the area.

[RMS Oceanic]

Fight Xykon in attempt to prove you are more powerful than him. Trying to vanquish him for being evil is fair game.

And don't touch his phylactery.

[nysisobli]

Lead a bunch of paladins, and then say how you are fooling them inside your throne room to a bunch of strangers when a crazy paladin might be with range to make a listen check.

[Haven]

Be a flumph. :smalleek:

[Zordrath]

Giving myself a badass gangster nickname in Greysky city.

[Jagos]

Get on Miko's non-Lawful side.

Fixed that for you. :)

[theinsulabot]

kill the oracle.



or baby dragons either, unless you hope to get saved by a cross between yet another thinly veiled dues ex machina combined with a plot device designed by a bored GM tired of trying to manage 3 or 4 different settings and plots at once

[Liwen]

Tell your rival you're about to take a shower

Try to be an Archvillain with only NPC class levels and a trigger happy trance deprived wizard in the vicinity.

Do not die... ever. If you do, it'll take months to get you back, unless your an Oracle.

[Lord Loss]

Cut Haley's Hair

Give up on fullfilling an oath

Cast familicide on a Chromatic Dragon.

[mistformsquirrl]

Do *not* tamper with the doily.

>.<

[FlawedParadigm]

You don't tug on V-man's cape,
You don't spit into the wind,
You don't pull the mask off of Sabine's disguise,
And you don't mess around with Slim (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0662.html).

[waterpenguin43]

Don't do FAQ with giant cards in front of an impatient lich watching his evil empire.

[CallingCtulhu]

Not have a name.

[derfenrirwolv]

Make a concentration check. (Seriously, there's like a -10 global penalty)

Leave any judgment of your violent lifestyle up to the peacnik members on the forums.

Assume that any monster is just a pile of XP and gold without hopes and dreams.

Confuse what "always evil" means in the monster manual with what it says on the tin

Try to do the right thing the wrong way

Address a letter to an elf (dear sir.. ms.. ma'm.. mister... drat...to whom it may concern )

[pflare]

Sit on your butt in a conquered city for 4 plus months

[horus42]

Agree to be Thog's puppy

[Moff Chumley]

Mess with Roland.

Suggest less stringent forum rules.

Argue with the Giant.

[derfenrirwolv]

You don't REFUSE to be thoggs puppy.

[L'intrigant]

Bring up optimization with anyone important to the story.

[FlawedParadigm]

Agree to be Thog's puppy

Hrrrm. I probably hang around some strange girls, but one or two have remarked as to the pleasure they'd experience in having Thog leash them.

I will say no more on the subject. :eek:

[theinsulabot]

Hrrrm. I probably hang around some strange girls, but one or two have remarked as to the pleasure they'd experience in having Thog leash them.

I will say no more on the subject. :eek:


and yet, you already said to much

[Olorin Maia]

I think you and Belkar both took Craft (disturbing mental image).

Mess with the Giant Dwarf.

[Assassin89]

Fight a half-orc using badly mangled Latin and questionable logic.
Run a weapons shop that does not carry any weapons.

[Olorin Maia]

Run a weapons shop that does not carry any weapons.

Actually you can do this. Nothing bad will ever come of it.

[FlawedParadigm]

Actually you can do this. Nothing bad will ever come of it.

Yeah, but try telling Tsukiko you love her and would die for her. :smallcool:

[Berserk Monk]

Find a low level wizard to be the evil opposite of a highly trained elven mage.

Taunt a druid when they still have the option of wild shaping even though your god created thunder so loud the sonic energy destroyed his small army of evil walking trees.

[Babale]

Give yourself a name based on a vital body part.

Maybe something bad... If your name was Cancerous Tumor Jake, would the guild cure you?

[Jagos]

Never have INT as a dump stat to a girl that can sneak attack x4 in a row.

[theinsulabot]

taunt the dynamite monkey.





/wrong setting?

[Berserk Monk]

Choose Cha as a dump stat when some day you may need to make a successful bluff check against a goblin holding you hostage that will free the lives of countless prisoners whose souls are about to be undone and also protect the fabric of existence.

[Boaromir]

If you're a paladin, never strike down your defenseless liege lord. We have direct emprical evidence it causes you to lose your powers.

[EyethatBinds]

Brake Roy's sword.

Grammar check your posts.

[FlawedParadigm]

Grammar check your posts.

Actually, his grammar is perfectly fine.

His spelling, on the other hand, is rather suspect - although technically correct, he seems to have an issue with homonyms.

(Interestingly, this exact error can be seen in several movies, usually "Brake glass in case of emergency." Oops.)

[Jagos]

Never (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0535.html) try to kill the king of Nowhere.

You are destined to fail.

[EyethatBinds]

Actually, his grammar is perfectly fine.

His spelling, on the other hand, is rather suspect - although technically correct, he seems to have an issue with homonyms.

(Interestingly, this exact error can be seen in several movies, usually "Brake glass in case of emergency." Oops.)

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/brake.html

Misuse of a word is a grammar confusion. Just because lots of people make the mistake is no reason to pretend it isn't a mistake.

[FlawedParadigm]

You're missing the point. I never said he didn't make a mistake. However, you picked the wrong *kind* of mistake to call it. You'd think the point was perfectly clear since I used an example for precisely that purpose, but I suppose not.

[Droopy]

He's saying using the wrong homophone could be classed as a grammatical error. You were saying he could have just spelt it wrong. Neither of you are likely to compromise in the long run.

Ta-da, long arguement abridged.

Never rely on anyone to ever make a spot check in the PC's favour, even your horse. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0143.html)

[Starscream]

Turn you back on the trees for even one second.

Bluff Bluff Bluff the stupid ogre.

ROLL A FOUR!!!

Ask Xykon for a raise.

Help Vaarsuvius concentrate by singing

Abduct guests from the MiTD's Tea Party

[Knaight]

Technically EyeThatBinds is accurate. Its both a grammar and a spelling error, however FlawedParadigm said it was only a spelling error, which is incorrect. EyeThatBinds never said it wasn't a spelling error, only that it was a grammar error, which is accurate.

[FlawedParadigm]

Actually, Droopy wins. It really *could* be either one, I just favoured it as a spelling error because I'm pretty sure he knew what he meant to type. This may be my scant optimism kicking in.

I'm the kind of guy who goes into a bloodthirsty screaming fit every time I see "marshmellow", though. This includes in public, if need be.

[Olorin Maia]

Never give intelligence to something that is literally "hung like a bear.":smalleek:

[The Blackbird]

Give Xykon a wizards are better speech.

[NamonakiRei]

Think your opponent is bluffing if he has 3 kings showing.

Tell a skull you'll use it as an emergency chamber pot.

Disguise yourself as a door-to-door salesman. However, scout girls selling cookies are OK.

[FlawedParadigm]

Turn Xykon into a lich. Or, for that matter, try to double-cross him.


Mess with O-Chul. Ever.

Try to date Miko.

Give Sabine a kiss.

Try to reason with Miko.

Let Elan, Belkar, or Haley stand watch alone.

Try to have a conversation with Miko.

Tick off Mr. Scruffy.

Get into a fight with Miko unless you're a main character...and that's still generally risky, especially if you don't have a +5 weapon.

Get cursed by the king of Blue-Town.

Really, acknowledge Miko's presence or being at all.

Oh, and especially argue with your fellow deities when world-building together. Oops.

[NamonakiRei]

Disintegrate relatives

Tell a wizard "no ticket, no horse"

Trust teenagers

Trust guys with goatees. Or girls clad in red leather, for that matter.

[Berserk Monk]

Grammar check your posts.

Things you never do on the OotS forum:

Point out someone's spelling and/or grammar mistakes. It just sidetracks everyone from the main topic.

[Assassin89]

Untie two people before making a gather information check.

Rescue someone without preparing silence or a gag.

Betray your friends just so you can get your sight back.

Be an Half-Ogre with a spiked chain.

[Jagos]

Things you never do on the OotS forum:

Point out someone's spelling and/or grammar mistakes. It just sidetracks everyone from the main topic.

Amen.

Never trade opponents if someone has a grudge against your brother.

[Olorin Maia]

Never distract the protagonists by sending them on a side quest with a reward that would make them stronger, even especially if the odds are one-million-to-one against the item actually being there.

[mistformsquirrl]

Explain how you're going to beat the system right in front of the guy responsible for enforcing the system >.>

[derfenrirwolv]

Bet against a 1 in a million event

[rangermania]

If you decided to stay in prison during a war don't go brag about your wisdom :smallbiggrin:

[Pjerrot]

I'm getting too old for - (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0360.html)

[King of Nowhere]

Never work for Xykon if you're not high level enough to be valuable to him

[pflare]

Give a summoning talisman to a human that needs magical energy to use.

[Optimystik]

He's saying using the wrong homophone could be classed as a grammatical error. You were saying he could have just spelt it wrong. Neither of you are likely to compromise in the long run.

Ta-da, long arguement abridged.

A winner is you.

Lecture your allies (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0569.html) after a curse has taken effect.

Question a PC's creature type. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0538.html)

[Cantara]

Blow your nose

[Cleverdan22]

Check for the magic plusses on a barrel of pickles.

[Andore Mordre]

Buy discount miniatures in Azure City.

[Berserk Monk]

Read anything that remotely resembles the phrase "I prepared Explosive Ruins today."

[FlawedParadigm]

Read anything that remotely resembles the phrase "I prepared Explosive Ruins today."

I think Explosive Ruins is the end result of Dorukan's dungeon. Hee.

[AoDkness]

announce your retirement.

[Nevadie]

Say "Well... I guess it wouldn't kill us to..."

#613

[Lombard]

Never ask when the next strip is going to be up.... :smallwink:

[Souhiro]

Since none of the OOTS characters have a nose....

NEVER wear expensive Sunglasses (Without a nose, it would fall and break)

[Carteeg_Struve]

Survive.


*sigh* I know my luck if I were there.

[pflare]

Hope that the rest of the party is in deeper trouble than you are.

[Crazeemeel]

hopefully this hasn't been said already but...

be glad that you chose to stay in prison

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0458.html