Item Pantheon

[shadow_archmagi]

DM took offense to me being an Eberron class in a non-eberron game. We agreed to refluff the class while keeping mechanics the same. So now I'm an Item Cleric. So I thought I'd write up a god... or two... or a pantheon... of course, it's no fun to just write things, you have to share them.

The Pantheon Of The Item Cleric.

1.Lord Lootarious. Appears as a knight in glittering, jewel encrusted full place. The god of loot worn or held; magical arms and armor, but also worn trinkets such as amulets. Favored by fighters.

2.Stuffaluffagus. Appears as an elephant-like creature laden with saddle-bags. The god of permanent, reliable items; hers are the Decanters of Endless Water, the mask of water breathing, and the Crossbow of Enbiggenment.

3.Svalbard of the Swag. Appears as a thrifty merchant, with patchy goatee and burlap sack of holding. While his long coat is threadbare, it includes many pockets, and insides are lined with shiny valuables. He may cough and mutter something about cutting his own throat. Svalbard is the god of the impermanent or rarely used items, (this includes spare weapons if they are sufficiently rarely used) . His are scrolls, wands, potions, and tokens of feather fall, and the Rod of Turn Unbread.

4.Goldy Locks. Appears as a dwarf with a beard made of gold. God of defending your possessions from others. His domain is traps, walls, and other protections.

1a.Treasure-ran-o-saurus. The fist of the Item Pantheon, he is a nine mile tall T-rex sent to punish nonbelievers, or those who let their equipment fall into disrepair. Little else is known; save that he rarely appears in battle and prefers to use his legions of Adamantine Clockwork Horrors. Lesser God of Item Destruction.

2a.Booty-licious. Once a powerful artificer, but eventually managed to ascend and become a lesser god. Since then, her charisma score (wink wink nudge nudge) and her enhancement abilities have only increased. She is sent to reward loyal followers of the Item Pantheon, empowering their loot, swag, and stuff. Lesser god of Pimping Your Items.

[Lappy9000]

5.Paraphernalius. Appears as a halfling laden with equipment marked by others. His followers tend to adorn themselves with symbols of just aboyt anything that uses a symbol, even other gods, upon all the items they use.

6.Regalion. Appears as a very strict and clean-cut looking elderly human man dressed in all sorts of finery. Typically worshipped by soldiers, Regalion stresses tact, cleanliness, discipline, and order.

7.Gregearious. Appears as a very handsome and well-defined human man whose clothes are covered in dozens of pockets and pouches, with a rucksack slung over his shoulder (also full of pockets). A deity of freedom and travel, Gregearious teaches preparation for any journey.

8.Hoaerd. Appears as a giant rat with slight draconic features. Hoaerd feels that any item is a treasure, and she looks down upon the wasteful. After all, every seemingly useless piece of junk has its place in the universe.

9.Matterial. Appears as a gnome female formed of every element of the common house (fabric, paper, wood, glass, etc). Matterial and her followers are bound by worldly possessions and seek to carry them onto, and beyond, the grave. However, the teachings of Matterial often lead to ruthless behavior to amass objects of great (or even minimal) wealth.

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Fantastic idea! I love all you've got so far :smallbiggrin:

[Eldan]

10. Mundanus The god of non-enchanted items teaches that even unenchanted, an adamantine greataxe is still better than a +1 dagger for most things. Appearing in the shape of a dwarf in full plate and carrying half a dozen weapons from various special materials, his domain are weapons, armor and items of nonmagical nature.

[xyzzy]

11. Vacuus. The goddess of random crap. Hey, someone's gotta be in charge of all the snowglobes and fake plot hooks that adventurers get finagled into buying, right? Unlike Hoaerd, doesn't really care about the stuff she's in charge of it; she's perfectly willing to admit that all she's got is junk. Takes the appearance of an old woman surrounded by tiny picture frames in a rickety chair. Favored by gnomes.

[paddyfool]

12) DEMachina
Appearing as an empty suit of armour, this is the god of all manufactured objects capable of thinking and acting for themselves (constructs, intelligent items, figurines of wondrous power, etc.). Alignment TN, but also has four quasi-independent aspects:

12a) The bastion (LN, symbolised by the breastplate; particularly appreciated by the more orderly golems, and by constructs hailing from mechanus),
12b) The Guide (NG, symbolised by the helmet; particularly appreciated by items that aim to train and teach those that bear them in heroism),
12c) The Mischief-maker (CN, symbolised by the legs and, er, nether regions; appreciated by items that aim to mislead, trick, curse or dominate those that wear them), and
12d) Skynet (NE, symbolised by the gauntlets, and appreciated by all constructs and such few items as aim for the elimination of fleshy meatsacks).

This deity has very few worshippers who aren't themselves constructs or intelligent items. Those it has are regarded as rather odd.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

13) Crafty Angus (Angus MacGyver, that is.)

God of pulling random items out of nowhere to solve problems. Praying to him often results in inch-long bits of bended metal mysteriously appearing in your pockets.

14) Crafting Jack

Angus's brother, this god is a patron of all those commoners and experts who craft for a living. Devoted servants of Crafting Jack are eventually rewarded with a Craft system that actually works realistically.