Asteroids: The Movie

[Jimorian]

As reported at Gamespot (http://www.gamespot.com/news/6212902.html?tag=result;title;0) and Hollywood Reporter (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3ic3a4730761c7eaf6aac2de4e28ef8e67).

But wait, that's not all you get![/Billy Mays]


As opposed to today's games, there is no story line or fancy world-building mythology, so the studio would be creating a plot from scratch. Universal, however, is used to that development process, as it's in the middle of doing just that for several of the Hasbro board game properties it is translating to the big screen, such as "Battleship" and "Candyland."

WTF, Hollywood. W. T. F. :smallconfused:

[Telonius]

Hey, it worked for "Clue."

Seriously though, this trend must be stopped before somebody decides to make "Tetris: The Movie."

[Jimorian]

Well, here's the trailer for Minesweeper: The Movie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs). :smallwink:

Edit: And Tetris: The Movie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_1KlWFJyA).

[TheSummoner]

Its been done (Tetris that is) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Sv46283-YI)

I can see it now... Asteroids: The Movie

"Commander! They're coming!"

"Quick! To the triangle ships!"

[JMobius]

At what point exactly did Hollywood completely abandon originality, and resign itself to doing remakes and committing atrocities upon any and all intellectual properties of our youth? :smallsigh:

[Ichneumon]

I can't wait till they make a game out of this movie...

[Prime32]

What happened to that Sims movie? Is that still going ahead?

[Ichneumon]

What about a pacman movie?

[Tirian]

I know I'm not the only one looking forward to the Candyland movie....

[JMobius]

I was just informed that they are making a movie out of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

This is terrible.

[Kyouhen]

I can't wait till they make a game out of this movie...

I can't wait for the novelization of a game based on a movie based on a game. :smallbiggrin:

[Surfing HalfOrc]

What about a pacman movie?

Pacman had his own TV series. Mock him not.
:smallwink:

[Ichneumon]

Don't tell me there is already a movie based on pong...

[Jimorian]

I know I'm not the only one looking forward to the Candyland movie....

Somebody around here has a great sig referencing Candyland.

[Prime32]

Pacman had his own TV series. Mock him not.
:smallwink:I remember that series. There was some generic evil wizard trying to steal the Power Pills, who used the ghosts as his minions. The Power Pills were grown by Pacman's family and a village of people who looked like him.

I think there was one episode where the wizard came himself - all the Pacmen swallowed Power Pills and attacked him at the same time. There was much screaming.

[Phase]

This summer...
One man must cross the line to escape...

But they don't want him to.

PONG:
End Game.

[Evil DM Mark3]

Please, this is a hoax.

Right?

This is too pathetic for even my eccentric British cynicism to shrug off.

[Athaniar]

Somehow, it must be nearly 4 months earlier than I thought it was. Right at the beginning of April, in fact.

[Jayngfet]

http://www.themovieinsider.com/m194/wheres-waldo/

I'll just leave this right over here.

[SurlySeraph]

I was just informed that they are making a movie out of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

This is terrible.

What is this I don't even -


http://www.themovieinsider.com/m194/wheres-waldo/

I'll just leave this right over here.

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.

[Starscream]

I suspect that the studio actually had a story lying around that just happened to involve blowing up asteroids.

Then someone had the bright idea of "Hey! Let's buy the rights to that game that was popular 30 years ago and say it's based on that! The internet will go crazy trying to figure out what we intend on doing and we get tons of free publicity!"

Nobody would care about some generic scifi film about rocks exploding, but because it is tied in to a game without a plot they can make whatever movie they want and get attention.

And seriously, how much could the licensing rights to such a simple and elderly game possibly cost? They got it for a song and now their entire marketing campaign can be "Hey, it's Asteroids. Admit it, you're curious."

[kpenguin]

http://www.themovieinsider.com/m194/wheres-waldo/

I'll just leave this right over here.

Well, there was an animated series (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_Waldo%3F_(TV_series))...

[Jimorian]

@Starscream: I'd buy that except there was a four studio bidding war for the rights! :smallconfused:

[JadedDM]

They're also making movies for Monopoly, Ouija Board, and oh yeah...Viewmaster (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viewmaster).

[Starscream]

@Starscream: I'd buy that except there was a four studio bidding war for the rights! :smallconfused:

........:smalleek:

Okay, I've got nothing.

Did rays from space affect the minds of multiple studio heads and cause them to wake up one morning and announce that now was the time for this movie?

I suppose it's better than that two year period we recently had where they all suddenly decided that what we needed was movies starring Rob Schneider.

[chiasaur11]

........:smalleek:

Okay, I've got nothing.

Did rays from space affect the minds of multiple studio heads and cause them to wake up one morning and announce that now was the time for this movie?

I suppose it's better than that two year period we recently had where they all suddenly decided that what we needed was movies starring Rob Schneider.

Only one logical assumption.

Cthulhu. Again.

[GrandMasterMe]

It's times like this that I wish I was a hermit....or simply lived in the roaring 20's. That way I would have never played asteroids and not known of the horrors being done to it.

[Nerd-o-rama]

I think it could be an interesting gimmick on the "space opera/space dogfight" genre, myself. Michael Bay should direct, because 1) the movie will be entirely about stuff exploding and 2) the original property doesn't have characters for him to execute poorly.

[OracleofWuffing]

Well, this movie certainly can't be much worse than the Super Mario Bros. Movie, right?

...

Right? :smalleek:

[TheSummoner]

*smack*

We do NOT speak of that!

[Ted The Bug]

At what point exactly did Hollywood completely abandon originality, and resign itself to doing remakes and committing atrocities upon any and all intellectual properties of our youth? :smallsigh:

"Hi, my name is Michael Bay, I heard there was a job opening."

[Ravens_cry]

It will be more then a little sad if they get the space physics wrong, as Asteroids, at least for a 2D surface with infinite fuel with no gravitational influences, got it pretty right.

[kpenguin]

Asteroids had sound in space...

[Ravens_cry]

Asteroids had sound in space...
True, but it had the fact you need to slow down to change direction, and can spin on your axis without doing so. How many games or movies get that right?

[Starscream]

Well, this movie certainly can't be much worse than the Super Mario Bros. Movie, right?

There was no Super Mario Bros. movie. It was just a dream I had from eating that fuzzy mayonaise.

My doctors have assured me of this. There was no such movie. Toad wasn't a green guy with a tiny head. Luigi wasn't played by Clown from Spawn. The guy from that Texas Chainsaw movie didn't play Koopa.

Just a dream. You can't fool me. I know it wasn't real. Lalalala I can't hear you. Oh, gods, the voices are back! Stay away! I have a Tanuki suit! I'll use it! One toot on this whistle will take you to a far away land, I swear!

We're sorry, but our Starscream is in another castle.

[Talwar]

Hollywood's all about safe bets and marketing opportunities, so perhaps there's a fortune to made in a screenplay about "Tag" (tagline: "This summer, don't be it."

[SnowballMan]

Michael Bay should direct...
No. He shouldn't. I don't care what the discussion is. I don't care what kind of movie. Michael Bay just shouldn't be directing.


There was no Super Mario Bros. movie. It was just a dream I had from eating that fuzzy mayonaise.
The movie was real. It's the fuzzy mayonaise that didn't exist. That was just a defense mechanism to protect you from the horror.

But at least your brain is trying to protect itself. Mine comes up with sequels.


... so perhaps there's a fortune to made in a screenplay about "Tag" (tagline: "This summer, don't be it."
Oddly enough, I think that would make a great horror movie.

[Ichneumon]

For years we've been playing the game, without knowing what was the story behind it. Now, we know.

And we wish we didn't.

...Asteroids! THE MOVIE!

[Zeta Kai]

tagline: "This summer, don't be it."

LOL, TAGline.

Also, we don't get a Zelda movie, we don't get a Metal Gear movie, & we don't get a Chrono Trigger movie. But Asteroids & Candyland are green-lighted?!? My mind is almost too boggled to type. Is Hollywood afraid of games with plotlines, or are they just hateful of them?

[Nerd-o-rama]

Hollywood is afraid of anything with a plot. It won't sell. And on top of that, when the adapt something, they have to worry about whiny fans who complain about the main character's hair being the wrong color or the lack of Tom Bombadil.

[Cristo Meyers]

Oddly enough, I think that would make a great horror movie.

I've already thrown together a 12-page script written on toilet paper...

...I've got a meeting with FOX for the movie rights.

...anyway...Asteroids? Seriously? I understand that Hollywood is thrashing about like a Tanar'ii in its death-throes (and being about as destructive) but Asteroids?

[SnowballMan]

Would be interesting if it focused on the type of people who would travel vast distances to reach new worlds. The brave pilots who risk their lives to clear paths for the colony ships. The reactions to meeting obviously intelligent and malicious alien life. The investigation of why they too are in the asteroid field. And the final cliffhanger...

The main characters come across a giant face floating in space and in their mind they hear "I hunger." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinistar)

[Llama231]

Let's see the recent films:
Watchmen: O.K...
Star Trek: ...
Sherlock Holmes (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0988045/): To much action.
Live Action Avatar (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0938283/): Ugh.
Tintin (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0983193/): Whaaa?
Percy Jackson and the Overage Actors (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0814255/): :smallyuk:
Where the Wild Things Are (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386117/): Okay, that just killed it all.
Asteroids (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1468290/): *cries*

[Cristo Meyers]

Only thing positive I can really say about the Watchmen film was that it finally got me off my butt to read the novel, so for that I will say I liked it. Pale, pale imitation, though.

'Course, I've been having extreme bad luck with movies recently. The only good film I've seen in months was Up and that includes the most recent Potter flick (utter torture), an Asteroids flick might actually be good compared to films like Duplicity...

[chiasaur11]

Only thing positive I can really say about the Watchmen film was that it finally got me off my butt to read the novel, so for that I will say I liked it. Pale, pale imitation, though.

'Course, I've been having extreme bad luck with movies recently. The only good film I've seen in months was Up and that includes the most recent Potter flick (utter torture), an Asteroids flick might actually be good compared to films like Duplicity...

Go see Moon.

You shouldn't regret it.

[Llama231]

At least they aren't remaking the Grapes of Wrath.

[JadedDM]

Is Hollywood afraid of games with plotlines, or are they just hateful of them?

Hollywood worships at the altar of mediocrity.

Good movies don't make much money. Bad movies don't make much money. But mediocre movies? They crank out cash like there's no tomorrow.

This movie will likely be just a generic action-packed explosion-fest slick sci-fi adventure. They'll cast whichever actors are popular at the moment. It will focus more on special effects than acting, writing, or plot. They don't even need the license for Asteroids. I mean, it's not like Atari would sue if you make a movie about asteroids or anything. They just wanted the name recognition to create the illusion this is something more than 'generic dumb sci-fi action flick #2345256.'

[bosssmiley]

At what point exactly did Hollywood completely abandon originality, and resign itself to doing remakes and committing atrocities upon any and all intellectual properties of our youth? :smallsigh:

When was the first Zorro movie made? :smallamused:

[Eldan]

Alternate taglines...

"This summer, your childhood will be crushed... by falling rocks."

"We thought there was no sound in space. We were wrong."

[Starscream]

"In space no one can hear your childhood memories scream."

[Totally Guy]

Don't forget Lemmings The Movie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhECaac-REk). Looking good!

[Rutskarn]

No. He shouldn't. I don't care what the discussion is. I don't care what kind of movie. Michael Bay just shouldn't be directing.


The Rock wasn't bad.

[JadedDM]

http://movies.ign.com/articles/100/1006589p1.html

More info on the Asteroid's 'movie,' straight from the producer's (Lornezo di Bonaventura) mouth:

"It's funny because people say there's nothing in the game, but that's not entirely right" he explained. "I was attracted to Asteroids, plain and simple, because I think what it tells you is that there's going to be this big thing in space."

"We've crafted a really strong, deep mythology for the thing. Without divulging too much about it, it's two lead characters - two brothers - who have to go through a seminal experience to figure out their relationship, against this huge backdrop."

But what of the title's point-and-shoot gameplay? "Well you'd better have some guys in spaceships blowing stuff up" he continued "or else you haven't honoured the fun of Asteroids."

:smallyuk:

[chiasaur11]

This whole thing feels like a joke in The Onion gone much too far.

I mean, that interview?

I can see it under the banner of the ONN.

[Nerd-o-rama]

But what of the title's point-and-shoot gameplay? "Well you'd better have some guys in spaceships blowing stuff up" he continued "or else you haven't honoured the fun of Asteroids."I, for one, applaud the fact that they're not actually taking this seriously.

[Texas_Ben]

Obligatory Penny Arcade:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2007/20070704.jpg
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2007/20070706.jpg

Thank you, that is all.