Help! Kicked out of the House!

[alchemyprime]

My girlfriend just got kicked out of her house. She has no car, no job (the fact she lost it is why she's getting kicked out) and no other family members who she can turn to.

We're looking for the kindness of strangers right now. Please, does anyone in in the Riverside County or even San Bernadino areas need a live in maid or a nanny, someone to help clean the house? Maybe? Or a good couch for her to crash on for a week or two? Please help. Thank you.

[Vmag]

Well, boyfriend, where's your generosity?

[Jalor]

Well, boyfriend, where's your generosity?

*ahem* Quoted for truth. I've taken friends in before, you should be the first to offer her a place.

[SDF]

Just lost her job? She can get unemployment till she finds something else. There should also be shelters and other things to help hold her over.

[Mr_Saturn]

*ahem* Quoted for truth. I've taken friends in before, you should be the first to offer her a place.

Unless...boyfriend is still living at home with the parents. :smalleek:

[The Neoclassic]

Well, boyfriend, where's your generosity?

I'm assuming that he still lives with his parents and they're entirely unwilling to let her live with them. Otherwise, of course, you'd have a point.

EDIT: I got ninja'd most severely.

[alchemyprime]

Unless...boyfriend is still living at home with the parents. :smalleek:

I am. And they have said repeatedly that she cannot live here. I've begged and they continued to say no. She has friends where she can go for a week or two, maybe, but all in all, she has nowhere to turn. There are no real homeless shelters around our area. Just soup kitchens. The summer nights are livable, but I fear what unscrupulous people may do to her.

And also, I come asking for help, and the first thing you do is condemn? Why? Do you not think this is my last recourse, that all other roads have been tried? That of all the places to see who can board her, that I turned to a gaming website?

Sorry... lost my cool there... please. I beg of you. We are trying all other roads, and all come up to dead ends. I ask of you please. Help us.

[Vmag]

My lack-of-hindsight post-assumption was that it's most likely an online affair, and that his inability to directly provide support is directly correlated to his geographical distance.

Might I recommend having her enlist? Used to be that I'd insist she go Army, earn me an extra 2000 bucks in referral bonuses, but they've taken that away so Navy or Marines are fine, too.

I know what you're thinking, but it's not the uber-conservative neo-patriotic dictatorship it's often made out to be; if anything, I've found to to be a LOT less fascist than the cutthroat baby-eaters in the civilian job market.

Now that she's kicked out of the house, how can she say "no" to competitive salaries, steady promotions, free housing, massive amounts of training, and steady employment for five to six years?

[alchemyprime]

Just lost her job? She can get unemployment till she finds something else. There should also be shelters and other things to help hold her over.

She didn't work enough hours to collect unemployment, and we have no nearby shelters. None that are anymore than glorified soup kitchens. And like I said, most other things are running dry. Her mother bumped the day she's getting kicked out from this coming Friday to today.

[RandomNPC]

I'm gonna be that guy who assumes the OP is unable to house said lady friend. It seems to me that calling everyone you know and trying yourself are just things that people do.

ok, Alchemy Prime, you've got a few options.

Your girlfriend now qualifies for a homless shelter, but i'd call it a last resort
Why is your place out of the question? (it does need cleared up for the board)
some hotels have weekly rates, there's one down the street from me thats roumored to be specificly for people going throgh breakups, places like that tend to be cheap for a week or two, but they do cost money...

ok so there's all i can pick my brain for at the moment, sorry i couldn't be more help.

ok there were only two posts when i started typing, ignore whatever doesn't apply.

[SDF]

No shelters near San Bernadino? Have you even looked?

[alchemyprime]

My lack-of-hindsight post-assumption was that it's most likely an online affair, and that his inability to directly provide support is directly correlated to his geographical distance.

Might I recommend having her enlist? Used to be that I'd insist she go Army, earn me an extra 2000 bucks in referral bonuses, but they've taken that away so Navy or Marines are fine, too.

I know what you're thinking, but it's not the uber-conservative neo-patriotic dictatorship it's often made out to be; if anything, I've found to to be a LOT less fascist than the cutthroat baby-eaters in the civilian job market.

Now that she's kicked out of the house, how can she say "no" to competitive salaries, steady promotions, free housing, massive amounts of training, and steady employment for five to six years?

Blind in one eye. They won't let her join. Or at least, by what she says.

[Vmag]

They've got waivers for everything these days. If she has a good recruiter, they'll get her in with eye problems. Some jobs will be out of the question, but there are still several careers that will take her with that consideration.

If she's been turned away before for it, that just sounds like a bad recruiter. A new guy who isn't sure what he's doing, or one with a better-than-thou mindset might turn her away from it, but someone who knows what he's doing should be able to isolate jobs that do not have requirements of perfect vision, and be able to get the right paperwork for the right waivers.

Which one turned her down?

[alchemyprime]

I'm gonna be that guy who assumes the OP is unable to house said lady friend. It seems to me that calling everyone you know and trying yourself are just things that people do.

ok, Alchemy Prime, you've got a few options.

Your girlfriend now qualifies for a homless shelter, but i'd call it a last resort
Why is your place out of the question? (it does need cleared up for the board)
some hotels have weekly rates, there's one down the street from me thats roumored to be specificly for people going throgh breakups, places like that tend to be cheap for a week or two, but they do cost money...

ok so there's all i can pick my brain for at the moment, sorry i couldn't be more help.


1. We have no homeless shelters. (I just looked.)
2. My parents won't let her live her with us. I still live at home.
3. She litterally has no money. Her mom was her old rent collector, and she'd take her entire paychecks and now that she has no way to make money, that he rmom is kicking her out after barely a month. Her mom has this mentality that since she left home at 16, her daughter can survive getting kicked out at 21.

[Vmag]

3. She litterally has no money. Her mom was her old rent collector, and she'd take her entire paychecks
Oh geez, that's horrible. My wife was under the same situation with her mother, and it was pathetic.

No person should be spending their entire paycheck at once, especially not just on rent. I hate mothers that do that to their children; it totally cripples them and intensifies their emotional dependencies, and creates a false ideology that life outside the home really IS so tough, and that they'll blow their paychecks just as easily without the safety of their mothers' bosoms.

To toss them out of the nest after breaking their wings like that... Let's just say I have some grudges in my life, and they're not all just rosemary.

[Renegade Paladin]

Wish I could help, but I'm most of the way across the country. What's her skill set like? Any prospects for a better job, or is unskilled labor basically her only option?

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Damn man, sounds tough. I'm afraid I have absolutely no advice. How's she coping with this?

[xPANCAKEx]

why did she lose her job?

also: 2 minutes on google:

http://www.magicyellow.com/category/Shelters/Riverside_CA.html
and
http://www.rivcoeda.org/Default.aspx?tabid=569


start making phone calls if you haven't already

[RTGoodman]

Er, why not just tell her to go ahead and shack up with friends for a couple of weeks? I mean, even if it's not permanent, it might be long enough for her to either (1) get back on her family's good side or (2) find a job and get enough money for her own place in a month or so.

One of my brother's friends is living with him and our parents right now, and has been for a couple of months. Her family made her leave the college she was at because she failed most of her classes and they were gonna pay for her to party, and when she got home they told her to either get a job or get out. Well, the economy how it is, jobs are hard to come by, and she got kicked out. She's got a job now and they gave her her car and computer back, so that works, I guess.

[Coidzor]

Vmag: Agreed. And what's worse, longstanding traditions of doing stupid things like that which exacerbate poverty in an area.

Hmm. There seems to be some kind of county level office/department that should be able to provide some info. Office of Homeless Services. (http://hss.co.san-bernardino.ca.us/OHS/) Haven't been able to find it so far on my own or on the county's website just yet, but you might have better luck with that.

Sucks that the parents and friends involved are all so callous. :smallannoyed:

Hard to believe you couldn't find something with such a large homeless population in your county.

Might be of use.
Volunteer Center of Riverside County
(1 reviews)
Address
2060 University Ave Suite 212, Riverside, CA 92507
Contact
Letitia Tutorow
Phone
(951) 686-4402 Ext 147
Fax
(951) 686-7417
Interest Area
Community, Crisis Support, Homeless & Housing, Seniors
http://www.vvdailypress.com/news/san-13193-bernardino-year.html

http://hss.co.san-bernardino.ca.us/SBCHP/docs/SBCHPPartnerList.pdf

http://www.bing.com/local/default.aspx?what=homeless+shelters&where=San+Bernardino%2c+California&s_cid=ansPhBkYp01&mkt=en-us&ac=false

http://www.homeaidie.org/ Another possible source of direction pointing.

http://www1.usw.salvationarmy.org/usw/www_usw.nsf/vw-text-dynamic-arrays/88256D3D006526AD88256BDE000134FD?openDocument Might have sommat.

Less housing more... otherhttp://www.sbeta.com/index.html
http://www.goodwill.org/page/guest/about


Most of what I've found so far are for families, single mothers with small children/victims of domestic violence, or those with psychiatric problems.

[Moff Chumley]

I'm sorry, man. I'd like to second the shack her up with a friend movement as well. Also, give her mom a kick in the shin from me...

[Vmag]

All in favor of using terms other than "shacking up with a friend"?

Each time I read that suggestion, I can't help but think that someone's taking the situation too desperately.

[alchemyprime]

:smallfurious: :smallfrown: :smalleek: :smallsigh: :smalleek: :smallfrown:

Yes...

It's bad. We found one shelter that may work. We hope it will. Or that her mom will come home from work and it'll all be a bluff.

Its very hard right now... and we're both prone to panic attacks.

[horngeek]

If it isn't a bluff, then her mum, quite frankly, doesn't deserve the title.

That;s my opinion.

[thubby]

hopefully she can get a job by the time the whole "friend's couch" option wears thin.
I'm assuming you aren't exactly swimming in money, but if you're willing you could both go in on a more permanent housing situation if she can't get back with her parents after that.

I'd hesitate to do anything with the army, but they'll take anyone if you can dredge up the right position.

beyond that, just get her applying for anything, anywhere. you'd be shocked how many jobs there are if you aren't picky.

[alchemyprime]

If it isn't a bluff, then her mum, quite frankly, doesn't deserve the title.

That;s my opinion.

QFT horngeek. QFT.

[Vmag]

I still maintain that enlistment would be the best thing for her.

Heck, they'll give her a bonus for wanting to leave as soon as possible; that'll ensure she starts receiving some salary and living under a roof as soon as possible, hence reducing the time... CRASHING at her friends' places.


I'd hesitate to do anything with the army, but they'll take anyone if you can dredge up the right position.
If good salary, free housing, health benefits, retirement, and working is too low brow for you, there's always Navy. Then it's just good salary, free housing, health benefits, retirement, and partying off the coast of Hawaii and Thailand for the next five to six years, though still doing good work.

I'm not sure how easy the Navy is with waivers though, what with that bum eye.

[alchemyprime]

She won't enlist. I tried asking her to do it. She says she'll never survive boot camp.

[Felixaar]

Thousands of Miles across the globe I doubt I can be of much assistance :smallfrown: sorry, alc.

[Vmag]

She says she'll never survive boot camp.

If I can survive it, and not just scraping by, then anyone can :smalltongue:

Truth be told, all that's to Basic is giving you a basic idea of how things go in the military sector, and getting your physical fitness up to the bare minimum. Why, my poor best friend just started her cycle with Navy basic training, and the lass is prone to panic attacks when presented with new things. We'll see how she survives it, but I'd bet she'll live.

In all honesty, the only ones that really don't make it are those who try their hardest to, those who suddenly develop mental instability issues, or start developing broken ankles doing half the work of everyone else.


However, that's but a suggestion. Without any more referral bonuses, I'm not going to force the idea on anyone any more than I have to :smallamused:


For the time being CRASHING with a friend is a decent short-term solution, but you'll be wanting to do something to get her back on her feet. At the very least, severance from her mother's paycheck-vacuuming can be considered a positive turn of events.

[alchemyprime]

Damn man, sounds tough. I'm afraid I have absolutely no advice. How's she coping with this?

From her own words: Badly.

[Mr. Mud]

Gah. Once again, I'm three hours too far away...

IF she's religious at all, or once was, try and get her to talk to a compassionate priest/minister/rabbi/pious teacher I'm bound to forget the name of at her local church/place of worship if she could spend a few nights in the basement or attic... That's what DP did for a few weeks :smallwink:.

[FoE]

So what's the situation between daughter and mother that the latter would kick the former out into the street?

[tusu47]

Easy. My mom went from acting her age and knowing had 3 children to wanting to be half her age and having never given birth. It's like she wants to pretend we don't exists.

[FoE]

Easy. My mom went from acting her age and knowing had 3 children to wanting to be half her age and having never given birth. It's like she wants to pretend we don't exists.

Are you AlchemyPrime's girlfriend?

[tusu47]

That I am.

[FoE]

What's the situation with your siblings? Are they underage and living with your mom?
What's the situation with your father?
How old are you?
Why is the stated reason for your mom kicking you out? Are you expected to pay a portion of the rent and can't do so because you lost your last job?
What was your last job? Why did you lose it?

[thubby]

If good salary, free housing, health benefits, retirement, and working is too low brow for you, there's always Navy. Then it's just good salary, free housing, health benefits, retirement, and partying off the coast of Hawaii and Thailand for the next five to six years, though still doing good work.

I've seen way too many recruiters lie through their teeth, servicemen cheated out of benefits, and friends march off to never come home again to treat it as such a good thing.
i don't expect the OP's gf to get sent into combat between being female and having a bad eye, but that doesn't mean she'll be treated right.

now obviously it's better than being on the street, i just feel it isn't nearly as great an option as it's being made out to be.

[tusu47]

*Sigh* Okay. I'm the oldest of 3 kids. I'm 21. My sister is 19, she's getting kicked out too, and my brother is 16 so he's fine. There is not dad. He's been MIA since i was 3 months old.

And yeah. Dearest mother wants me to pay part of the rent. never mind the fact that she spends money we don't have of beauty products and the like. When I had a job I gave her everything I had because what I made each month wasn't more than what she wanted me to pay. It was only $400 each month but my job sucked, and now I don't have one.

And trust me guys. Enlisting is NOT something I want to even consider. I've been put under too much stress these last several months. I'm afraid my mental health will not survive boot camp.

[neoseph7]

Amongst other things, enlisting won't fix the immediate problem. It takes at least a week to go through the initial paper work, and then months before you go to basic, and that is when you start seeing income.

Now may be a good time to learn the subtle art of "Lying through your teeth" Diplomacy with your mother. The problem is that you basically have to let her walk all over you and agree with everything she says. It can be demeaning to say the least, but it can help delay the inevitable (moving out).
You can also intimidate her, assuming she is prone to such. DCF (Dept of Children and Family services or something) is a pretty nasty card to play on a parent, but I've seen it work wonders. You basically have to show your mother evidence that she isn't treating the 16 year old properly, to the point that the authorities need to be contacted.
On the subject of threats, if your mother is up to anything illegal, or otherwise wants to be hidden, her ability to physically kick you out may be suspect. Basically, if she "kicks you out", you are trespassing as long as you are on the property, and to get rid of you she would need to call the cops. Which would not pan out for her if there was evidence of any illegal activity.

It seems like your mom isn't composed of the highest moral fiber from what I've read, and if I'm wrong, please don't take what I suggest personally.

Edit: If I weren't on the wrong side of the country, I'd help you. Sorry:smallfrown:

[Jimorian]

Even if Alchemy's parents won't let you stay there, one thing they might be able to do is let you use their address as your semi-permanent mail drop/phone answering service. That way you can fill out job applications and know where the answers will come even if you're couch hopping among friends or in a shelter (or on the street, but we'll assume better for you).

Same goes for if you get an interview, ask to keep some good clothes there so that if you get called for an interview, you can visit to shower/spiff up.

If you can swing it, do some volunteer work. This may seem counterintuitive when you desperately need money, but it gives you some good references to put on applications, and many agencies will recruit from their prized volunteers when a paid position opens up.

Good luck, and take care!

[tusu47]

Yeah I hear ya. The problem is she's not doing anything illegal. And she's not treating my brother like she's treating my sister and I.

[evnafets]

So there are two of you booted out? How is your sister coping with it?
Are you planning on sticking with her - finding a place together or whatever?

Sounds like your Mom hasn't had it all easy either - bringing up 3 kids on her own for the past 20 odd years. Not that that justifies kicking you out now, but there are always two sides to every story, and so far we've only heard yours.

[FoE]

What was this lousy job that only earned you $400 a month? Is there some kind of legal recourse you could take? Is there some office of labour relations or something along those lines in your area?

What is the situation with your sister? Is she going to be staying at a friend's house? Could you possibly arrange the same accomodation?


Even if Alchemy's parents won't let you stay there, one thing they might be able to do is let you use their address as your semi-permanent mail drop/phone answering service. That way you can fill out job applications and know where the answers will come even if you're couch hopping among friends or in a shelter (or on the street, but we'll assume better for you).

Good advice.

[Vmag]

It takes at least a week to go through the initial paper work, and then months before you go to basic, and that is when you start seeing income.

Man, I wish they gave me a few months. I asked for it, pleaded for it, but they had me out the door after about three to four weeks, and that's After pulling teeth; they still yanked me in a week earlier, darn Thanksgiving.

However, that's neither here, there, nor anywhere with this thread.

I agree with any Child Services-like department idea; a parent that takes a child's entire income for several months on end and then boots her out without a penny in her pocket is a parent asking to pay reparations to said child for a LONG time.

If her own spending habits aren't the best in the world, then, well... All it takes is one audit, baby :smallamused:

[neoseph7]

Yeah I hear ya. The problem is she's not doing anything illegal. And she's not treating my brother like she's treating my sister and I.

For playing the DCF card, her treatment of you is put aside. The threat is plausible if she is doing (a) anything illegal or (which you say she is not) (b) mistreating him in anyway, such as not feeding him properly, clothing him properly, funding his general education.

Now entering the really underhanded part; whether or not she is doing anything bad isn't half as important as her thinking she's doing something improper or illegal. Maybe talking to your sister or brother about the manner can help. They may know something you don't.

If it Helps: Child Abuse/Neglect

"Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm"

If there is anything your mom has done that could be considered by the above, you may have enough to get her to stop and reconsider throwing you and your sister out.

Sorry. DCF is florida. It may be called something different in Cali.

[tusu47]

What was this lousy job that only earned you $400 a month? Is there some kind of legal recourse you could take? Is there some office of labour relations or something along those lines in your area?

What is the situation with your sister? Is she going to be staying at a friend's house? Could you possibly arrange the same accomodation?

As for the enlistment part ... loath that I am to recommend it to anyone, if you think your mental health is too fragile to survive basic training, living on the street isn't any better.

I know... As for my sister, I think she's still hoping my mom is trying to bluff us out. It's working on me but she's under the assumption that everything will go on like it has. I think my mom will actually call the police.

I was an usher at a movie theater. Hours were bad but they paid me more than $8. And as far as I can see there are no legal actions I can take. I know I'm kind of shooting everyones idea down but I've already thought through them. Maybe I can stay at my uncle's. Though I want my sister there over me. If he takes anyone in it will only be 1. And I'd rather it be her.

As for the abuse angle, she HAS been mentally and emotionally abusive to me over the last 9 or 10 months, but I don't think I can do anything about it seeing as I am over 18.

[FoE]

Ah yes, the theater usher job. I did that a long time ago. I quit before I got canned and took an equally s***ty but better-paying landscaping job.

Could you possibly borrow $400 from somewhere? Or at least pawn something to get the cash? If you could get a month's rent and give it to your mom, that might give you some more options, more time to find another job and look for another place.

[Coidzor]

So there are two of you booted out? How is your sister coping with it?
Are you planning on sticking with her - finding a place together or whatever?

Sounds like your Mom hasn't had it all easy either - bringing up 3 kids on her own for the past 20 odd years. Not that that justifies kicking you out now, but there are always two sides to every story, and so far we've only heard yours.

Yes, it's called a vicious, self-perpetuating cycle of abuse.

[Vmag]

...mentally and emotionally abusive to me over the last 9 or 10 months, but I don't think I can do anything about it seeing as I am over 18.

Mental and emotional trauma holds up Very well these days; moreso for the over 18 crowd, since you can't just write that off as a child not taking parenting well. Being over 18 just means you now have full access to your legal rights.

[tusu47]

Could you possibly borrow $400 from somewhere? Or at least pawn something to get the cash? If you could get a month's rent and give it to your mom, that might give you some more options, more time to find another job and look for another place.

I could barrow it from Alchemyprime. He's offered it to me. But.. every time the subject came up it felt like he was doing it out of guilt or some sick sense of duty. I felt horrible for even considering it. He's a good man. And I love him dearly. But he's young and shouldn't have to deal with this kind of thing.

[tusu47]

Mental and emotional trauma holds up Very well these days; moreso for the over 18 crowd, since you can't just write that off as a child not taking parenting well. Being over 18 just means you now have full access to your legal rights.

Heh. You think I should find a lawyer to take my case probono?

[Renegade Paladin]

She won't enlist. I tried asking her to do it. She says she'll never survive boot camp.
Hogwash. She's watched Full Metal Jacket a few too many times. They don't try to kill you in boot camp; you're too expensive for that. :smalltongue:

[FoE]

But he's young and shouldn't have to deal with this kind of thing.

How young is AlchemyPrime? :smallconfused:

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Homeless shelters listed per Google for San Bernardino:

Mary's Table (http://www.marysmercycenter.org/): 641 Roberds Ave, San Bernardino - (909) 888-8997

Fresh Start - no web page: 6720 Elmwood Rd,
San Bernardino, CA 92404-5650, (909) 746-6323‎

Veronica's Home of Mercy - appears to be part of "Mary's Table": 1476 W 6th St, San Bernardino - (909) 888-9064

Having "lived" in a homeless shelter for 10 days in the middle of a NY winter, I will tell you that any roof over your head shouldn't be complained about...even though I've done plenty of that. Meanwhile, such places usually help with social services to help you get back on your feet; they don't want you staying there forever.

It may be too late for you to get into one of those now, so see if you can't convince the boyfriend's mother to let you crash for ONE night.

[Coidzor]

Hmm, I doubt her calling the cops would have much effect. Her changing the locks on the other hand.

But yeah, it definitely seems like there could be a case there. Possibly could have violated some tenant/landlord relations laws. But those are mainly things to look into after securing shelter.

[tusu47]

How young is AlchemyPrime? :smallconfused:

... I don't think he'd appreciate me telling you. You'll have to ask him.

[tusu47]

Hmm, I doubt her calling the cops would have much effect. Her changing the locks on the other hand.

But yeah, it definitely seems like there could be a case there. Possibly could have violated some tenant/landlord relations laws. But those are mainly things to look into after securing shelter.

Thanks for the idea. If -WHEN things calm down I'll look into it.

[FoE]

...

Best of luck, lady.

*Runs out of thread*

[Vmag]

It's cool; the usual rule is that the a-dult cannot exceed three years from the minor. Ergo, typically, you can be 20 and see a 17 year old.

I think California does it differently, and the only reason I know that is because I have an 18 year-old battle buddy dating a 28 year old sleaze-ball sailor, and they both turned 18 and 28 this year after several months in the same course.

Something about five years and complex math, so you should be good.



Thanks for the idea... I'll look into it.
You can never go wrong with an audit :smallamused:

[Gorgondantess]

...technically, it's kindof illegal for someone to kick you out without a month's or so notice. Now, I may be wrong here, but I've been through my share of renters- you've gotta give them ample time. Kicking 'em out at the drop of a dime- with, say, less than a couple week's notice- is grounds for legal action, if not suing. Take legal action, get a lawyer, and force her to let you live there until you're stable. Then... I say move out as soon as possible.

[Dracomorph]

This is perhaps not helpful right this instant, but it may help down the line;

Throwing someone out of their place of residence, no matter the circumstances, is very very difficult to do legally, and your mother is probably breaking the law in doing so.

My uncle had a live-in girlfriend a few years back; she turned violent (she was a drunk), and he tried to start proceedings to throw her out. He was informed that he really couldn't, since she was considered a resident, and she had only lived there a few months. Huge problem, took forever to resolve.

It's worth noting that this happened in Florida, so the legal precedent may not apply in California.

So, simply refusing to leave could possibly help.

Edit: damn, ninja'd.

Edit Edit: lawsuit, as previously mentioned, is definitely an option.

[Jimorian]

The one legal recourse that's practical is possibly general eviction laws. If you were paying rent, even as a family member, I'm guessing that she has to give you 30-days notice just as she would with a non-family tenant. Check legal services with whatever agency handles that type of thing down there.

What's tricky is there's probably no written lease, but don't assume that makes it impossible for something to happen here. 30 extra days to make plans (even if you don't use them all before leaving on your own) might really help in this situation.

On the other hand, you're the only one who knows if it's worth staying any longer than necessary. It's still worth checking your legal rights in regards to your property that's in the house.

EDIT: double ninja'd. But I think this is your best bet to buy some time.

EDIT2: If you want to look things up for yourself a bit before looking into what agency to contact on this, go to the nearest bookstore or library and ask for the Nolo Press book on Tenant Rights. This is going to mainly deal with the main landlord/tenant relationship, but should have a section dealing with sub-tenants and family members, too. Does your mom own the place or rent it herself?

[Gorgondantess]

Jimor makes a good point with that- without a written lease, things get complicated. Still, you can definitely appeal to a civil court. You live in Cali-freaking-fornia, the bleeding heart capital of the world.

[tusu47]

Thanks you guys. I really appreciate everyone trying to help. I probably will just refuse to leave. We'll fight every day but that's nothing new. I think I'm going to try staying here until it actually gets physically dangerous for me to be here. Right now it's just a lot of mental stress and degrading remarks.

I'm looking for a job like a live-in maid or nanny. So far no luck. But I'm going to keep trying. At the same time I'm trying to not rely on Alchemy for much in regards to my living situation. He means well and tries really hard but I think this is just too much for him.

I need to do this on my own. I know that. I just wish I didn't have to worry about where I would be sleeping tomorrow night. You know?

[Renegade Paladin]

Not knowing where your next meal is coming from and if you'll have a roof that night is a tough thing, yes. I don't live in California, but I recall a friend of mine who does saying offhand once that the landlord-tenant laws there are stricter than normal, and "normal" gives you at least a month's notice on eviction. I'd definitely look into it.

[tusu47]

Yeah. I'll do that.

[Jimorian]

Yes, if you just refuse to leave, she'll have to call the police, and they will straighten her out in regards to what she really needs to do to evict you and your sister. Just be very careful with how you act in response to her provoking you, and if she does call the police, be the calm reasonable one, which I'm sure won't be hard. :smallwink:

Here's hoping it was all just a very loud bluff.

[neoseph7]

I need to do this on my own. I know that.

I know this feels right, but in fact during tough economic times in general (of which your situation is likely a result of amongst other things) the best course of action is to stick together with people you can trust and respect.

Also, the point about legal action isn't something to pursue. That takes forever and you need an immediate solution for this immediate problem. The legal thing just gives you leverage when arguing with your mother, which can provide a few more days or even weeks.

When arguing with her, try not to think of her as your mother, since that tends to draw out feelings and emotions developed during one's youth, when they are emotionally weaker. Think of her as simply another private citizen, no different than a land lord whose last name you can't pronounce. That may help when dealing with her.

[Renegade Paladin]

I know this feels right, but in fact during tough economic times in general (of which your situation is likely a result of amongst other things) the best course of action is to stick together with people you can trust and respect.

Also, the point about legal action isn't something to pursue. That takes forever and you need an immediate solution for this immediate problem. The legal thing just gives you leverage when arguing with your mother, which can provide a few more days or even weeks.
It is absolutely something to pursue, and as soon as possible. A lawsuit isn't something to pursue right now, but enforcing her rights under landlord-tenant law is, because that provides immediate relief; her mother would have to be the one to initiate court proceedings to get an eviction at that point.

[Zeb The Troll]

She won't enlist. I tried asking her to do it. She says she'll never survive boot camp.I realize that this has been answered already, but I think it important to note that we haven't called it "boot camp" in 30 years for a reason. It is Basic Training, as in, all they're doing is teaching the absolute fundamentals of being in the military. For most people that involves a lot of exercise that they're not going to be accustomed to doing, but by the end of the 6 to 13 weeks (depending on service) it won't be that bad. Now I went through it 19 and a half years ago so what I went through is likely to be a little bit different than what today's recruits experience, but what I went through (US Army, 1990) was NOT that difficult. I was 123lb band geek from Mom's Couch, OK. Yes, there's probably going to be a lot of yelling and screaming, but by and large that stuff is aimed at the folks who aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing.

All this being said, I'm not trying to convince anyone to join any military services that they don't want to join. My point is simply that, of all the reasons one can have to resist joining, "boot camp is too hard" is the weakest.

As another consideration of a way to make one's life a better one without joining the Active Duty component of any branch, it might be worth considering joining one of the Reserve or National Guard branches. Most states offer decent incentives to joining, including but not limited to:

Job Training
Tuition Assistance (MD even offers free tuition to literally dozens of schools)
A Paycheck for your one weekend per month
Access to Veterans Affairs resources which, contrary to popular belief, do not only apply to medical needs
Access to a whole host of support activities that may be useful in the future (such as free legal advice, free financial advice, et cetera)

Again, I'm not trying to do any arm twisting and I have NOTHING to gain or lose one way or the other. I just ask that the idea not be cast aside out of hand without serious consideration.

[thubby]

it just occurred to me she's (you're?) probably a dependent. that likely has legal ramifications.


Yes, if you just refuse to leave, she'll have to call the police, and they will straighten her out in regards to what she really needs to do to evict you and your sister. Just be very careful with how you act in response to her provoking you, and if she does call the police, be the calm reasonable one, which I'm sure won't be hard. :smallwink:

Here's hoping it was all just a very loud bluff.

seconded

[Vizen]

Yipes. Tough situation.

How much do your neighbours know about this? If they often hear loud yelling and arguments coming from the household, they could begin to get a sense of understanding before you even come knocking on their door and explain your situation to them, which I would suggest you do.

[Milskidasith]

I would definitely recommend the lawsuit approach. Not so much to get money from her, but to get your full 30 days (plus the time it would take for her to evict you) to stay. If you can prove something and get damages, that's better. While it would seem harsh to sue your own mother, if she is really as bad as she seems, the money would be better off in your hands.

[alchemyprime]

How young is AlchemyPrime? :smallconfused:

18 going on 19, if you must know. Tusu is a few years older than me.

[pendell]

Thanks you guys. I really appreciate everyone trying to help. I probably will just refuse to leave. We'll fight every day but that's nothing new. I think I'm going to try staying here until it actually gets physically dangerous for me to be here. Right now it's just a lot of mental stress and degrading remarks.

I'm looking for a job like a live-in maid or nanny. So far no luck. But I'm going to keep trying. At the same time I'm trying to not rely on Alchemy for much in regards to my living situation. He means well and tries really hard but I think this is just too much for him.

I need to do this on my own. I know that. I just wish I didn't have to worry about where I would be sleeping tomorrow night. You know?

Tutu,

some very close family members got kicked out of house when I was younger.

Their solution was to move in with friends until they had enough scratch to afford a pad of their own.

Homeless shelters are already mentioned.

Church groups are also a source of help. My local church pretty much does this full-time; find people who are homeless jobs and homes. If you were in the DC area I'd hook you right up, but not much I can do in San Bernadino.

What about your local YMCA? Salvation Army? Teen Challenge? Along the same lines.

I'm assuming you're just out of high school -- why not try your guidance counselor?

For that matter, what about the local battered woman's shelter? Granted you're not a victim of physical abuse, 'getting kicked out of the house' sounds pretty abusive. Child Protective Services (CPS) might also be able to help. Even if they can't offer services directly, they may be able to point you in the right direction.

I've crashed on the pads of friends before, and I say this very clearly: NEVER say "I'm going to do this on my own". It doesn't work that way. Humans are social creatures, and humans need a social network to survive. People who get cast out from their own families and don't build replacement networks don't survive, not even as homeless people.

If it makes you feel guilty to receive help, then take the help and pay it forward. Donate considerable time and money to helping homeless people once you're in a position to do so. But you're no good to anyone homeless and alone yourself.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Douglas]

I'd offer to help - my apartment could use some cleaning up - but I'm on the other side of the country from you and I doubt solutions involving "move to Georgia" are acceptable to you. Even if I were to offer you money to help out, I get the feeling you don't want that kind of help. Plus, handouts aren't really my style.

In lieu of that, I'll join the chorus about the legal angle. Look up whatever tenant and/or dependent laws apply to your area, summarize them verbally to tusu's mom, provide the full text with references for where she can independently verify them, and demand your legal rights. Unless she's willing to go to court about it, and possibly even then, that should at least gain you a little time. In the mean time, keep looking for a job. Prospects there are probably pretty bad right now, but you have to keep trying.

[Cyrion]

I can't add anything to the housing issue, but I have a suggestion to look into for getting at least a little cash quickly. You've got several medical schools in the area, consider becoming a standardized patient (SP).

SPs are actors trained to play a patient coming in with a particular medical issue, and they're used to help teach medical students, particularly communication and interpersonal skills. Usually, it's just role-playing with a basic physical exam- nothing sensitive, surgical, etc. You're coming in as a patient with a headache, anxiety, abdominal pain, etc. and the medical students have to get a history and talk about treatment and management with you.

The benefits to you at the moment-
1. It pays fairly well. The SP program I direct pays $12/hr training the case and $15/hr to perform it. Some programs also hire SPs for sensitive exams, and they'll pay much better for those.
2. It's got a flexible schedule so that you can be looking for a full-time job, soliving housing crises, etc.
3. You'll probably be in demand as young people are often hard to come by to play the roles.
4. The turnaround from work to paycheck will probably be reasonably quick.

The disadvantage-
1. "Flexible schedule" can also mean "spotty work." We run each of our cases once every 6-8 weeks, so you'll have to be able to get multiple cases at multiple schools to make this approach anything like regular work.

Anyhoo, it might be worth looking into as a stopgap measure and could be fun to boot.

Best of Luck

[alchemyprime]

Okay, I talked with my mom. I managed to get her rent for her next month, so we bought her another month. We still agree we have to find a new housing situation for her, and we really appreciate all of the concern and ideas you guys have put forward. So now we know she's safe, at least until September 1st. It'll be risky after that. :smalleek:

Still thanks for your help, everyone. At least we have a little breathing room now. :sigh:

[Crispy Dave]

nothing I can do to help sorry alc. Im kinda in the middle of running away from home myself. She could always try craigslist for some labor and temp housing.

[Mitth'raw'nuruo]

:smallannoyed:

*Looks at the less then helpful people in this thread*

wow; some of you guys really are cold.

[Bonecrusher Doc]

Not a solution, but a band-aid to get you through the next 24-48 hours or so: check with local fitness centers to see if you can pay for single visits (or perhaps a free visit, though then they'll try to get you to sign up for a plan). A hot shower, change of clothes and brushed teeth can go a long way towards calming down when you're feeling panicky.

Try to make sure she doesn't burn any bridges with her mother during the time being; keep the lines of communication open, no hanging up on the phone etc. Mother probably made a decision in a moment of anger, and if your girlfriend is the greater person and decides to be the one to swallow her pride then it will make it easier for her mom to change her mind and take her back in.

EDIT: BEWARE THE CRAIGSLIST OPTION mentioned above. Not saying it's 100% made of fail, but sex slavers and other bad guys certainly abound, and promising work to desperate people is one technique they use.

[Mr.Moron]

That's tough, something similar happened to my friend's girlfriend at one point. Luckily it wasn't due to losing her job, so she could make it on her own. I'd offer to help but I'm on the wrong side of the country. Best of luck at any rate you'll need it, family drama always ends poorly.

[skywalker]

:smallannoyed:

*Looks at the less then helpful people in this thread*

wow; some of you guys really are cold.

*Looks at Mitth'raw'nuruo's recent posts*

Wow, you really did a lot to contribute as well, didn't you?


All this being said, I'm not trying to convince anyone to join any military services that they don't want to join. My point is simply that, of all the reasons one can have to resist joining, "boot camp is too hard" is the weakest.

+1

I've never been to basic/whatever you want to call it. But I know plenty of people who have and if they can make it, so can you. Some of the biggest loser dopes I know are/were in the Army (not at all to say that the Army is full of loser dopes, merely that they made it).

I personally have resisted joining over the (for me) far more pertinent "not wanting to get shot" reason, as well as a strong dislike for discipline, marching, and forced order.

[tusu47]

I've said this before I WILL join the military if I have to... but I really don't want to have to.

[Mystic Muse]

don't join the military. it's not fun getting your face or a limb blown off.

Sorry I don't know of any way to help.:smallfrown: craigslist can be good. just make sure that whatever job you get you bring a cell phone and something to defend yourself with just in case.

[Vmag]

don't join the military. it's not fun getting your face or a limb blown off.

Cause really, we're still Russian forces circa World Wars. Nope, no advancements since then, nosiree Bob.

Seriously, don't knock it till you've tried it. I've found it to be a lot better to my health than the cutthroat baby-eaters in the civilian job market, and I'm not just making that up. They really don't care about you in the civilian market; at least you're an important asset healthy in the military, so they'll GIVE you everything you need to avoid danger and stay fit.

[wxdruid]

There are benefits to joining the military. I'm in the Air Force, Thanatos 51-50 is in the Navy, Lex-kat was in the Navy and there are some others around here. Some have already posted.

In the Air Force there are plenty of desk jobs. You don't have to work on the flight line or security forces. My first three years in the AF were spent in Accounts Payable. I, with a few other people, paid the bills for the base. It required lots of paperwork. If I had deployed from there, I probably would have gone to a base in Qatar or the UAE and remained on the base and out of most of the danger. Now I'm in weather, I've deployed twice and both times have kept all my limbs, etc. I stay on a base, behind a desk doing weather forecasts for the flyers. Sure, I have to pass a fitness test, but I also have a guaranteed job for 4 years at a time. You would have a guaranteed job for 4 years, there are a few ways to lose it, but that involves doing stupid things (like drinking/driving, not following the rules, etc). The military isn't for everyone, but at the same time, if you join, at the end of 4 years you can decide to stay in, or get out. If you want to talk to me about the Air Force, feel free to PM me.

[Worira]

She's made it clear she doesn't want to consider the military unless there are no other options. I'm sure you don't mean to, but you're starting to come across, at least to me, as pressuring her.

[Lex-Kat]

She's made it clear she doesn't want to consider the military unless there are no other options. I'm sure you don't mean to, but you're starting to come across, at least to me, as pressuring her.
You may wish to reassess your definition of "pressuring her".

All wxdruid did was let her know that the Army and Marines are not the only military options. And that even in those, there are desk jobs. You don't have to carry a gun and hope that your face and/or limb don't get blown off.

And, she was offering her knowledge, so that tusu47 can talk to someone about the Air Force, that isn't a recruiter. Which wxdruid is not a recruiter. She's a weather witch. :smalltongue:

[Worira]

Hence why I said I was sure she didn't mean to come across that way. But if, say, I ask a girl to have sex with me and she refuses, and I then explain to her the benefits of sex with me and ask her to reconsider, I'm going to come across a bit desperate. If she refuses again, and I elaborate further, I'm just being creepy. And even if I'm being entirely polite about it, and stating each time that it's up to her, I'm still pressuring her if she's already made it clear she's not interested.

[quick_comment]

Very happy to hear that you are safe for the moment. Good luck in searching for a job and a better place to live.

If you still want advice, mine is to take the first honest job you can get (retail, fast food, telemarketing, anything -- to earn money while you're searching for a better one), and live very frugally in the next month (but don't skimp on anything that would endanger your health!). As soon as you can sustainably afford it, move out; your mother does not sound like a very pleasant person to be living with at the moment.

I'm horrified at all the people suggesting out of the blue that you join the military. Joining the military is a major moral decision, not something you should do to solve a financial crisis. Don't join the military for any reason other than wanting to be a soldier. As I have understood you, you've already made it pretty clear that that's not actually what you want, and it seems like a very bad idea to abandon that position because the situation is desperate.

[DOOM2099]

I went thru a similar situation years ago. I borrowed my parents tent and lived at a state park for a while (I liked it so much that I eventually bought a camper, which I actually live in now after losing my job... Thank God for foresight). Some are more expensive than you might imagine, but most have ''primitive'' campgrounds, no water no electric, that are dirt cheap. You may have to walk or drive to the showers with the primitive option, but it's still a workable solution, even for extended periods.

Some people aren't as enthusiastic about camping and the great outdoors as I am, though. I hope everything works out for you and I can guarantee you one thing; You will feel much better when you are out from the whole crazy person oppressing you thing. Even if you live under a bridge, you will be happier than with a crazy person ruining your day.

Good luck, I hope it works out.

[X2]

The way you phrased the title made it sound like you got kicked out of the house.

...

Ignore me!

[Myrmex]

Lean on your friends, as hard as you can. That's what they're there for.


Hence why I said I was sure she didn't mean to come across that way. But if, say, I ask a girl to have sex with me and she refuses, and I then explain to her the benefits of sex with me and ask her to reconsider, I'm going to come across a bit desperate. If she refuses again, and I elaborate further, I'm just being creepy. And even if I'm being entirely polite about it, and stating each time that it's up to her, I'm still pressuring her if she's already made it clear she's not interested.

But uh, this isn't about sex.

[Dracomorph]

But uh, this isn't about sex.

Yes, that is why he was making a comparison, rather than stating the two situations are identical. He is drawing parallels, not equating.

[Quincunx]

Worira, you made your point well. Separately, I also agree with it. But it's more important to say it was a fine explanation in both posts.

DOOM2099, I'm not current with campground fees, tho' I dimly remember it's cheaper to book weeks at a time--will that work out to less than what she's paying now?

[tusu47]

Heh... you guys have almost turned this into some kind of debate.

Here's how things stand now. I have till the end of August to come up with another month's rent or find a new place to live. Seeing as it's not even August yet I'm really trying to not worry about it too much. For the most part not worrying is working out pretty well.

Again, the military option, though valid, is not going to be my first choice. If I join it will be my last conceivable solution. I'm not worried about getting my limbs blown off and spending the rest of my life trying to invent automail because I know that if I get in at all I will be placed behind a desk. I'm completely BLIND in my left eye for mustard's sakes! They won't let me anywhere near a gun!:biggrin:

[Lex-Kat]

To keep from railroading this into further debate, I'll ignore Worira's badly made parallel.



tusu47, Have you sought the help of a temp hiring service or a job finding program? You could also go to the post office and ask if they are hiring casuals (part timers, temporary hire).

If you don't have a good job by December, I suggest you try the post office then. They like to hire casuals for the Christmas season. And if you work good, they may keep you working for them longer.

If you do end up living in a shelter, ask if you can help in the kitchen. I don't know if it pays, but it is something you can put on your Resume that will look good.

Also, as another alternative, you could maybe join a peace corp, or a non-profit funded outreach program. Some of those take people to other countries to help others in need.

It doesn't pay well, but you will get food and a roof, from what I've heard.

Lastly, no matter what you end up doing, do not let on that you are desperate for work. Desperation leads to being abused.

Good luck. :smallsmile:

[Jallorn]

I have no experience with this sort of stuff, but I'd like to put my voice out in support, although, since I'm halfway across the country I can't do anything.

[Kallisti]

Accept help from your friends. If you've got the next month, then definately consider legal action after that. But most of all, keep trying out for pretty much any job that has an opening, anything is better than nothing and you can always leave when you find something better.

If I were you, I'd be trying to get away from your mother anyway... But you actually do have a pretty good case if she tries to evict you. You might still have legal status as a resident, or status as a dependant, and even if not, she can't evict you without serving you notice first. Probably at least thirty days worth.

This may sound weird, but don't take Alchemy up on the month's worth of rent. Not because you shouldn't accept help from him, but because you shouldn't be paying that much to stay at your home, without a job, with your own mother. If he really wants to give you financial aid, let him rent you a different apartment or get you a legal consultation.

The army would help you out, but you've made it abundantly clear that that's not something you want to do unless you absolutely have to, and I can totally understand. That four years is a lot of commitment...

I'd offer to help personally, but I'm halfway across the country and a minor. Stay strong, though! Good luck, and I wish I could be more help...

OK, one MSN search later, :
In order for a Landlord to begin the eviction process, California law requires all persons residing in the property to be served with a Notice. If preparation or service of the notice is done incorrectly or not at all and the tenant raises it as a defense, the Court will dismiss the Landlord's complaint due to a procedural defect and the tenant will prevail at Court.
TYPES OF NOTICES
30, 60 or 90-day notice
A landlord who wants to terminate (end) a month-to-month tenancy can do so by properly serving a written 30, 60 or 90-day notice on the tenant. Generally, a 30 or 60 day notice doesn't have to state the landlord's reason for ending the tenancy.

3-day Notices
A landlord can use a written 3-day notice (eviction notice) if the tenant has done any of the following:

Failed to pay the rent.
Violated any provision of the lease or rental agreement.
Materially damaged the rental property ("committed waste").
Substantially interfered with other tenants ("committed a nuisance").
Used the rental property for an unlawful purpose, such as selling illegal drugs.

Not sure how much of that applies to you, because there's no written agreement, but you have been paying her rent, so maybe she does legally need to serve you a notice. I wouldn't know, I've never rented a property. Try checking with the local law school, chances are they can answer legal questions and will do so for free, especially since you couldn't afford to pay them anyway...

[DOOM2099]

Worira, you made your point well. Separately, I also agree with it. But it's more important to say it was a fine explanation in both posts.

DOOM2099, I'm not current with campground fees, tho' I dimly remember it's cheaper to book weeks at a time--will that work out to less than what she's paying now?
It aint great day to day, but I think each campsite is different. I paid $14 per day way back when... I really dont know, it would take some research to find out.

[Kallisti]

Well, if you go to court, you get maybe a month or two in the court. And with no written lease, there's no attorney fees clause, so if you can find a lawyer to take the case pro bono, there's no chance you'll get stuck with your mom's attorney fees.

I just don't think paying her more rent is a good idea. It means you get a month, when the court option probably gets you two or three, it means you're down $400 that you don't have, and one month might not be enough time to get back on your feet, which means a month from now you're in the same boat.

Even if, after two+ months of court, you're not back on your feet, you can still start paying rent again then.

I really wish there were more I could do to help...

[Kallisti]

For a while I thought I'd gotten lucky with the California Rent Protection rules, but it's city-specific, and none of the cities in San Bernardino have it...

[alchemyprime]

Actually, we're on the Riverside side of the San Bernadino/Riverside county line. Does anything in Riverside have it?

[SilverSheriff]

I'm completely BLIND in my left eye for mustard's sakes! They won't let me anywhere near a gun!:biggrin:

Four Words: Desk Job.

[13_CBS]

Four Words: Desk Job.

But...that's two...:smallconfused:

[ThunderCat]

To keep from railroading this into further debate, I'll ignore Worira's badly made parallel.But apparently not ignore it enough to not mention it. I happen to think it's a fine parallel, since the feeling I got from this thread was very similar to what I get from guys (or cult members) who don't want to take a hint. Anyway, you have my sympathies tusu. If you were in my country I'd have a lot of solutions, but from here, sympathy is all I can give. I hope you make it.

[Coidzor]

Actually, we're on the Riverside side of the San Bernadino/Riverside county line. Does anything in Riverside have it?

This does raise a good point though.

<_< How does one go about finding out how all of these potential laws may or may not exist/be applied in one's area?

[SilverSheriff]

But...that's two...:smallconfused:
Thats funny; I see 4 words.:smallwink:

Four Words: Desk Job.

Four
Words
Desk
Job

[Douglas]

Yes, but that is not the way that construction is normally parsed. A colon means that the words before the colon are describing what comes after the colon. In that grammatical construct, "Four Words" is describing "Desk Job" and only "Desk Job".

[SilverSheriff]

Yes, but that is not the way that construction is normally parsed. A colon means that the words before the colon are describing what comes after the colon. In that grammatical construct, "Four Words" is describing "Desk Job" and only "Desk Job".
Oh...Nice one Mister party pooper.:smallsigh:

[Evil DM Mark3]

Here's how things stand now. I have till the end of August to come up with another month's rent or find a new place to live. Seeing as it's not even August yet I'm really trying to not worry about it too much. For the most part not worrying is working out pretty well.

OK here is Uncle Evil's 7 point plan.
Staying in that house for another month after this one is now officialy your final option. Family and money met and money won, this is allways a bad sign. You are not wanted. To this end, you have 30 days. Each of them you are busy. Each of them you are going to bed having done things to get you away from that place. I assume that you had worked towards this in the past as you said youw here being evicted anyway. Redouble this. If you hadn't shame on you. Get legal advice. You have a month now, find out what your rights as a tennant are. In most legal systems decended from English Common Law it is hellishly dificult to get rid of a tennant. Ask around other relatives. Is your uncle your only option? Moving a long way may be on the cards, be ready for that. You held down a job. Now unless you lost it for behaving badly that gives you a good place to start with job hunting. Spam applications and make your track record as a reliable worker as clear as possible. In tight economic times people do not want to have to deal with the constantly off work. Let not one day slip. Don't panic, but you are running on very limited time here.

Now you are porbably wondering why leaving is so key in my advice. Here is why. Your mother had allready defined your rent as your salary once. She may well do so again. You refuse, and she will try and throw you out. While she may not be able to do it legaly getting locked out at 3 AM is something we all should avoid for whatever reason.

[Kallisti]

Actually, we're on the Riverside side of the San Bernadino/Riverside county line. Does anything in Riverside have it?

In that case, maybe score...
Of the Riverside county cities, only Palm Springs has rent control, though. If you're in Palm Springs, your legal case just got even stronger...


OK here is Uncle Evil's 7 point plan.
Staying in that house for another month after this one is now officialy your final option. Family and money met and money won, this is allways a bad sign. You are not wanted. To this end, you have 30 days. Each of them you are busy. Each of them you are going to bed having done things to get you away from that place. I assume that you had worked towards this in the past as you said youw here being evicted anyway. Redouble this. If you hadn't shame on you. Get legal advice. You have a month now, find out what your rights as a tennant are. In most legal systems decended from English Common Law it is hellishly dificult to get rid of a tennant. Ask around other relatives. Is your uncle your only option? Moving a long way may be on the cards, be ready for that. You held down a job. Now unless you lost it for behaving badly that gives you a good place to start with job hunting. Spam applications and make your track record as a reliable worker as clear as possible. In tight economic times people do not want to have to deal with the constantly off work. Let not one day slip. Don't panic, but you are running on very limited time here.

Now you are porbably wondering why leaving is so key in my advice. Here is why. Your mother had allready defined your rent as your salary once. She may well do so again. You refuse, and she will try and throw you out. While she may not be able to do it legaly getting locked out at 3 AM is something we all should avoid for whatever reason.

Wise man, that. Got good sense. I second the motion. Although, if she does lock you out at three in the morning, you are now entitled to call the cops.

If you're going to stay with her, which I believe would be...unwise...draw up a lease agreement. If she's legally your landlord, minimum notice prior to eviction is thirty days unless you fall behind on rent.

I recommend seeking legal advice, and seeking a new place to stay. Even if you can stay with her, do you really want to?

Good luck.

[alchemyprime]

In that case, maybe score...
Of the Riverside county cities, only Palm Springs has rent control, though. If you're in Palm Springs, your legal case just got even stronger...



Wise man, that. Got good sense. I second the motion. Although, if she does lock you out at three in the morning, you are now entitled to call the cops.

If you're going to stay with her, which I believe would be...unwise...draw up a lease agreement. If she's legally your landlord, minimum notice prior to eviction is thirty days unless you fall behind on rent.

I recommend seeking legal advice, and seeking a new place to stay. Even if you can stay with her, do you really want to?

Good luck.

Damn. She's Riverside (city). That may not work. And I'm Moreno Valley. No rent control for me either. >< Dammit!

[Kallisti]

Damn. She's Riverside (city). That may not work. And I'm Moreno Valley. No rent control for me either. >< Dammit!

It's okay, rent control just sets limits on how much rent con be charged for what kinds of building. You still have a case for illegal eviction, since she was never served the legally required notice. It's just that, since her mother defined the rent as "her paycheck," if there were rent control, legally she might have to refund all or part of the rent she'd been payed. Ever. It's a shame there's no rent control, but you still have a case.

[comicshorse]

I'm English so I'm not sure what america is like on this but I'll put it out there.
When I've been unemployed, medical testing has got me through more than one rent payment. Being a lab rat for them to test their stuff on is not the most glamerous of jobs but it pays well and for long studies can provide free room and board as well.
As for the dangers as far as I'm aware all they are testing for is 'nuisance' reactions ( itching, nasuea, etc) any more severe reactions should have been ironed out in animal testing. Certainly I've done it multiple times and the worst I got was I completely lost my appetite for a week testing an anti-histasmine drug.
In my previous experience they are always desperate for subjects but that was before the current economic problems.
Just a thought

[Coidzor]

Hmm. Perhaps the office of vocational rehabilitation might be able to provide some aid. (http://www.rehab.cahwnet.gov/aboutdr.htm)

Something tells me that being blind in one eye may just qualify... Can't hurt to see anyway.

Riverside offices (http://www.rehab.cahwnet.gov/eps/drRivers.htm)

Apply Online and find out which office they want you to go to in the first place... (http://www.rehab.cahwnet.gov/eps/applicat.htm)

At the very least they can generally provide a fair bit of aid in finding some measure of employment and possibly figuring out if you're eligible to apply for certain types of aid or other things.

I dunno how having partial blindness fits into things exactly, but it might open up some eligibility for aid.