Jumping on the Bandwagon. Let's Play Ogre Battle!

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Inspired by works such as Chiasaur11's X-Com LP (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116489) and and Zarah's Morrowind LP (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=115597) , I've chosen Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen to be my first and possibly only Let's Play!. With no further ado, let's start explain how the game works!





The Game, or What the Heck is Ogre Battle Anyway?


I'll spoiler this part because it's rather long, and some of you may be familiar with the game.



Ogre Battle is something like a real-time strategy game with RPG elements. Or maybe a RPG with real-time strategy elements. It was released in 1994 for the SNES and there is a PS rerelease that I have not seen. It mixes a real time strategy map with a day/night cycle, minimap combat (like a simplified version of Heroes of Might and Magic) and army management. Your units are grouped an squad of 5 units (some of them count as 2), and there are over 75 classes and creatures (thank you, Wikipedia!) you can choose from. Needless to say, army composition allows for a tremendous amount of combinations.


Most of the game is spent on the tactical map, deploying and moving small, 5 unit squads in real time. There also a lot to explore on this map. You have to liberate (read: conquer) villages and temples, can find buried treasure, and might even be attacked by a random encounter.

When you fight the enemy (by literally bumping into them), you go onto the mini-map that displays the terrain type you are fighting on and the opposed forces. Your control over your own forces is rather limited in this part; you can instruct them to target the weaker or tougher units, or to only attack the enemy squad leader, but that's it. After each unit has made it's attacks (in turns), combat is resolved and the side that dished more damage wins. XP is awarded accordingly, and the squad that lost is shunted off to the side. This last bit is important, as you can pretty much play pinball with enemy units.

The rest of the game is spent in an army management type deal (a.k.a. the world map) were you can review your unit's stats, move them from squad to squad, have them upgraded and the like. You also do inventory management, saves, and other such things.

The last notable element is the two Karma Meters. The Reputation Meter measures how famous or infamous you are. High means you are considered a living saint, low means that, when compared to you, people see Attila the Hun and Hitler in a favourable light. The other one is Alignment, an actual stat for all units. Again, high means goody-goody, low means eeeeeevil. Evil/Good characters are stronger at night/day (circle apropriately) and certain units can only get upgraded if their alignment is in the right range. For instance, a Good fighters can become Knights, while an Evil ones can become Ninjas.


And that pretty much wraps things up, I think. Sorry for the long-winded explanation. If curious for more info, or you think I missed something important, just ask. I'll be happy to answer (or point you to gamefaqs).




Right, next part:



How this LP will Work, or How You Are Going to Help.


Ordinary stuff here. At various points I'll ask the audience to vote on something, and the result will dictate what happens next. There will be another way of influencing the gameplay, but I'll explain that a little later, when the initial audience votes give me a better idea of where this LP is going (trust me on this part).


Keep in mind that this is the first time I do a LP, and pretty much the first time I've attempted write something longer than a 5 page essay on biochemical pathways. I´ll be very happy to get feedback, criticism and general writing advice.


Update-wise, I´m hoping for at very worse once a week. Hopefully I´ll be able to do 2 or 3. However, there is a very relevant quote on this subject:



'If I make a promise it is conditional on nothing which seems more important arising to counteract it. That, among men of sense, is understood.'


-Ernest Bramah
Anyhow, here's to hoping this LP won't crash and burn.


And we can finally start!




Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-6.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-5.jpg

Episode five huh? Must be like the Star Wars movies, they'll make the first four in 15 year's time.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-4.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-3.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-2.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-1.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQueenU.jpg

Blablabla Evil Wizard, blahblabla Dead King, blablablah Evil Empire, blablablah rebels. You got that?

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/ZsnesSSsOgreBattle-TheMarchofthe-3.jpg

Hey! Look! A Mysterious Old Man!

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/ZsnesSSsOgreBattle-TheMarchofthe-2.jpg

Something tells me the answer will be yes.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/ZsnesSSsOgreBattle-TheMarchofthe-1.jpg


Gee, how original. This is obviously a work of marvelous complexity, innovative gameplay and groundbreaking plot. Not. Screw this, I´m off. I have better things to do than narrate how Professor Oak likes doing Lord of the Rings cosplay.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/Ogre%20Battle%20Intro/ZsnesSSsOgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBla.jpg

I take that back. Best. Cursor. Ever.




And that's it so far. Now it's up to you folks to do two things.

First, vote on a name. Maximum allowed characters is 8.

The second thing is to vote on gender. This is a mostly aesthetic choice that only influences some of the 12 possible endings.

Thirdly: take a few minutes to answer this survey:


You have been commanded by your king to create a magic potion. What kind of potion do you create?
Poison
A wealth potion
An immortality potion
What above all other things do you think is the greatest crime against your fellow man?
To deceive someone
To sacrifice someone
To steal from someone
As a king wishing to rule the world, what personality trait do you feel you most lack?
Expansionism
Efficiency
Putting things into action
What do you think is the most important ability trait which must be found in a successful king?
Action
Leadership
Conquest
It is difficult to rule those with ideas different from your own. What do yourself look most in a leader?
Compassion
Self respect
A sense of justice
It's almost impossible to find a perfect mate. Which of the following do you most look for in a partner?
Tenderness
Purity
Physical beauty
What do you think is the best way to pull people together and rule people with different hopes and ideas?
Military force
Religion
Leadership and charisma
What do you think is the most important thing to remember when walking the path of the warrior?
Justice
Glory
Faith
After a difficult battle, the army you lead was unfortunately defeated. What was the cause of your defeat?
A lack of military strength
A lack of leadership
Destiny
It is sometimes said that victory is only luck. What do you think luck is?
Luck is something you create
Luck is inescapable
Bad luck can be good
You are standing in front of a mirror which shows your best trait. What is shown in the mirror?
Physical strength
Mental strength
Moral strength
Because of a mistake you made, your army is forced to retreat. What do you do?
Lament your mistake
Retire from your post
Shrug your shoulders
Among one of your trusted followers a traitor is discovered. What do you do?
Give him 200 lashes
Banish him forever
Kill the traitor
A messenger from the gods has appeared before you. What does this messenger look like?
An old man with a staff
An ill-dressed youth
A beautiful girl
A demon you have called forth has demanded your most dear possession instead of granting a wish. What does it demand?
Your money
Your life
Your family
In the country which you rule, a cult has started a rebellion. What do you do?
Send your followers
Send your army
Abdicate your throne
The night before a battle you see several falling stars heading for the east. What do you wish for?
Luck for your army
Bravery for your army
Victory for your army
You are staring at the full moon the night before battle. What are you thinking of?
The results of the battle
Your family
Your beautiful lover
After a long and difficult battle, your army has finally achieved victory. What do you credit your victory to?
Your personal luck
Those who fought with you
The gods' blessings
Fate can be cruel. If you could save only one person from the flames of a battle, who would it be?
Your decrepit mother
Your beautiful lover
Your child
The night before a battle, you drink a parting toast with your comrades. How full is your glass?
Filled to the brim
About half full
Barely any
You want to be sure that your knights abstain from disgraceful behaviour. What do you warn them most about?
Obey the law
Don't make empty promises
Be kind to all you meet




21 questions. Not so short, I guess. The results of this test determine the alignment of our Lord, as well as his starting abilities. It should also give us an idea of what our boss will be like.


-------------------------------------------------------------------

The cast so far:

-The Narrator: A bitter and snarky individual, this person will narrate how the story unfolds and gives us invaluable input and opinion on all matters.
Lord Poop Anon McKnifer: Perhaps a fledgling evil overlord hiding behind the façade of an uperclass twit. Perhaps just an upperclass twit. Either way, McKnifer has sworn to bring down the evil Empress Endora and restore the Zenobia Opera House to it's rightful glory.
Malton: Lord McKnifer's Valet. Also a wizard. It is suspected that he is incapable of any emotion.

Index of Chapters:

Introduction, Part One (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=119766)
Introduction, Part Two (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6617249&postcount=25)
Chapter One (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6618485&postcount=30)
Intermission I (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6624610&postcount=43)


EDIT: I think I've got the image size down to something that lets you see well without being massive. What does the audience think?

[ZeroNumerous]

Name: Joe(Jane) Facestabber
Sex: Male or Female. No real choice.
Questionnaire:
1- 1
2- 3
3- 2
4- 2
5- 2
6- 1
7- 1
8- 2
9- 1
10- 2
11- 2
12- 3
13- 3
14- 2
15- 2
16- 2
17- 3
18- 1
19- 2
20- 3
21- 1
22- 2

[chiasaur11]

A Mr. Zoosmell Pooplord.

The quiz?

1)Poison
2)decieve
3) Expansionism
4) Leadership
5) Justice
6) Purity
7) Religion
8) Justice again.
9) A lack of military strength
10) Luck is something you create
11) Moral Strength
12) Lament
13) Kill
14) Old Man. One eye. Cloak. I role Norseman style.
15) What kind of moron summons a demon without proper precautions anyway? Family.
16) Army. Face smashing time!
17) Victory. This one? Gimmee.
18)Battle.
19) Allies
20) Kid.
21) The brim. Half full glasses are for weenies.
22)Be kind to all you meet

[Maxymiuk]

Ok, why not. Looks interesting, provided you stick to it. :smalltongue:

Name/Gender:
A ruthless empire and an evil queen involved? There can be only one choice. Snow White, Pongo, Red Power Ranger, Peter Pevensie! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lion,_the_Witch_and_the_Wardrobe)

The question/answer game:

1. Poison.
2. Deceit
3. Efficiency.
4. Leadership
5. Sense of justice
6. Tenderness
7. Leadership and charisma
8. Justice
9. Lack of leadership.
10. Luck is something you create
11. Mental strength
12. Shrug
13. Kill the traitor
14. Old man with staff
15. My family
16. Send in the army
17. Victory for the army
18. The result of the battle
19. Those who fought with me
20. My child
21. Barely any
22. Don't make empty promises

[SlyGuyMcFly]

I did forget to mention that the max character length for our Lord's name is 8. So Facestabber won't fit. Pooplord and Pevensie are fine though.


I'll edit it into the OP.

[ZeroNumerous]

Alright. McKnifer then.

[chiasaur11]

Sigh.

There goes a perfectly good MSpaint reference.

Ah well.

McNinja?

It does have a certain "Lead on" to it.

[u-gotNOgame]

I'm partial to the N64 remake or this game, but thats just me.
Now to the meat:
Sex: Male
Name: No real preferences
Question Time:
1)Poison
What above all other things do you think is the greatest crime against your fellow man?
To deceive someone
As a king wishing to rule the world, what personality trait do you feel you most lack?
Expansionism
What do you think is the most important ability trait which must be found in a successful king?
Leadership
It is difficult to rule those with ideas different from your own. What do yourself look most in a leader?
Self respect
It's almost impossible to find a perfect mate. Which of the following do you most look for in a partner?
Tenderness
What do you think is the best way to pull people together and rule people with different hopes and ideas?
Leadership and charisma
What do you think is the most important thing to remember when walking the path of the warrior?
Justice
After a difficult battle, the army you lead was unfortunately defeated. What was the cause of your defeat?
A lack of military strength
It is sometimes said that victory is only luck. What do you think luck is?
Luck is inescapable
You are standing in front of a mirror which shows your best trait. What is shown in the mirror?
Mental strength
Because of a mistake you made, your army is forced to retreat. What do you do?
Shrug your shoulders
Among one of your trusted followers a traitor is discovered. What do you do?
Banish him forever
A messenger from the gods has appeared before you. What does this messenger look like?
An ill-dressed youth
A demon you have called forth has demanded your most dear possession instead of granting a wish. What does it demand?
Your family
In the country which you rule, a cult has started a rebellion. What do you do?
Send your army
The night before a battle you see several falling stars heading for the east. What do you wish for?
Bravery for your army
You are staring at the full moon the night before battle. What are you thinking of?
The results of the battle
After a long and difficult battle, your army has finally achieved victory. What do you credit your victory to?
Those who fought with you
Fate can be cruel. If you could save only one person from the flames of a battle, who would it be?
Your child
The night before a battle, you drink a parting toast with your comrades. How full is your glass?
About half full
You want to be sure that your knights abstain from disgraceful behaviour. What do you warn them most about?
Don't make empty promises
It seems I have crafted a L/NG charecter.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Votes have been tallied. I'll post the rest of the introduction and the 1st chapter tomorrow. Voting is open until then.

[Starbuck_II]

Jason
Male:

*You have been commanded by your king to create a magic potion. What kind of potion do you create?-
Poison
1. What above all other things do you think is the greatest crime against your fellow man?-
To sacrifice someone
2. As a king wishing to rule the world, what personality trait do you feel you most lack?-
Efficiency
3. What do you think is the most important ability trait which must be found in a successful king?-
Action
4. It is difficult to rule those with ideas different from your own. What do yourself look most in a leader?
Compassion
5. It's almost impossible to find a perfect mate. Which of the following do you most look for in a partner?-
Tenderness
6. What do you think is the best way to pull people together and rule people with different hopes and ideas?
Religion
7. What do you think is the most important thing to remember when walking the path of the warrior?-
Faith
8. After a difficult battle, the army you lead was unfortunately defeated. What was the cause of your defeat?-
Destiny
9. It is sometimes said that victory is only luck. What do you think luck is?-
Bad luck can be good
10. You are standing in front of a mirror which shows your best trait. What is shown in the mirror?-
Mental strength
11. Because of a mistake you made, your army is forced to retreat. What do you do?-
Shrug your shoulders
12. Among one of your trusted followers a traitor is discovered. What do you do?-
Kill the traitor
13. A messenger from the gods has appeared before you. What does this messenger look like?-
A beautiful girl
14. A demon you have called forth has demanded your most dear possession instead of granting a wish. What does it demand?
Your family
15. In the country which you rule, a cult has started a rebellion. What do you do?-
Send your army
16. The night before a battle you see several falling stars heading for the east. What do you wish for?
Bravery for your army
17. You are staring at the full moon the night before battle. What are you thinking of?-
Your beautiful lover
18. After a long and difficult battle, your army has finally achieved victory. What do you credit your victory to?-
Your personal luck
19. Fate can be cruel. If you could save only one person from the flames of a battle, who would it be?-
Your beautiful lover
20. The night before a battle, you drink a parting toast with your comrades. How full is your glass?-
About half full
21. You want to be sure that your knights abstain from disgraceful behaviour. What do you warn them most about?-
Don't make empty promises

[Copper8642]

Pfft, the N64 wasn't a remake, it was a sequel (though I don't remember how far along it was past episode 5). It's also my favorite game of all time.

I have no suggestions really, but I'll definitely be watching this.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Name: Anon
Gender: Male
You have been commanded by your king to create a magic potion. What kind of potion do you create?
Poison
Hell yeah. :smallcool:
What above all other things do you think is the greatest crime against your fellow man?
To sacrifice someone
As a king wishing to rule the world, what personality trait do you feel you most lack?
Efficiency
What do you think is the most important ability trait which must be found in a successful king?
Conquest
I shall rule them all!
It is difficult to rule those with ideas different from your own. What do yourself look most in a leader?
Self respect
They can't be no damn emo!
It's almost impossible to find a perfect mate. Which of the following do you most look for in a partner?
Physical beauty
Tits or gtfo.
What do you think is the best way to pull people together and rule people with different hopes and ideas?
Military force
What do you think is the most important thing to remember when walking the path of the warrior?
Glory
GLORY
After a difficult battle, the army you lead was unfortunately defeated. What was the cause of your defeat?
A lack of leadership
It is sometimes said that victory is only luck. What do you think luck is?
Luck is inescapable
You are standing in front of a mirror which shows your best trait. What is shown in the mirror?
Physical strength
My massive pecks. :smallcool:
Because of a mistake you made, your army is forced to retreat. What do you do?
Shrug your shoulders
Wait, I made a mistake?
Among one of your trusted followers a traitor is discovered. What do you do?
Kill the traitor
A messenger from the gods has appeared before you. What does this messenger look like?
A beautiful girl
Awwww yeah.
A demon you have called forth has demanded your most dear possession instead of granting a wish. What does it demand?
Your money
In the country which you rule, a cult has started a rebellion. What do you do?
Send your army
Kill them all!
The night before a battle you see several falling stars heading for the east. What do you wish for?
Victory for your army
You are staring at the full moon the night before battle. What are you thinking of?
Your beautiful lover
Awww yeah. :smallcool:
After a long and difficult battle, your army has finally achieved victory. What do you credit your victory to?
Your personal luck
Me, myself, and I.
Fate can be cruel. If you could save only one person from the flames of a battle, who would it be?
Your beautiful lover
She's hot. :smallcool:
The night before a battle, you drink a parting toast with your comrades. How full is your glass?
Filled to the brim
Dude!
You want to be sure that your knights abstain from disgraceful behaviour. What do you warn them most about?
Obey the law
I'm not bailing you out!


I think I captured anon too well. Alternate name is /b/tard.

[Oslecamo]

Gender:female
Name: Enar

questionaire:
You have been commanded by your king to create a magic potion. What kind of potion do you create?
A wealth potion
What above all other things do you think is the greatest crime against your fellow man?
To deceive someone
As a king wishing to rule the world, what personality trait do you feel you most lack?
Putting things into action
What do you think is the most important ability trait which must be found in a successful king?
Action
It is difficult to rule those with ideas different from your own. What do yourself look most in a leader?
A sense of justice
It's almost impossible to find a perfect mate. Which of the following do you most look for in a partner?
Purity
What do you think is the best way to pull people together and rule people with different hopes and ideas?
Leadership and charisma
What do you think is the most important thing to remember when walking the path of the warrior?
Justice
After a difficult battle, the army you lead was unfortunately defeated. What was the cause of your defeat?
A lack of leadership
It is sometimes said that victory is only luck. What do you think luck is?
Bad luck can be good
You are standing in front of a mirror which shows your best trait. What is shown in the mirror?
Mental strength
Because of a mistake you made, your army is forced to retreat. What do you do?
Lament your mistake
Among one of your trusted followers a traitor is discovered. What do you do?
Give him 200 lashes
A messenger from the gods has appeared before you. What does this messenger look like?
A beautiful girl
A demon you have called forth has demanded your most dear possession instead of granting a wish. What does it demand?
Your family
In the country which you rule, a cult has started a rebellion. What do you do?
Send your army
The night before a battle you see several falling stars heading for the east. What do you wish for?
Victory for your army
You are staring at the full moon the night before battle. What are you thinking of?
The results of the battle
After a long and difficult battle, your army has finally achieved victory. What do you credit your victory to?
Those who fought with you
Fate can be cruel. If you could save only one person from the flames of a battle, who would it be?
Your child
The night before a battle, you drink a parting toast with your comrades. How full is your glass?
Filled to the brim
You want to be sure that your knights abstain from disgraceful behaviour. What do you warn them most about?
Be kind to all you meet
Wich pokemon do you choose?
Water

[chiasaur11]

Pfft, the N64 wasn't a remake, it was a sequel (though I don't remember how far along it was past episode 5). It's also my favorite game of all time.

I have no suggestions really, but I'll definitely be watching this.

Prequel, actually.

Don't know the exact number, though.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

According to wikipedia Ogre Battle 64 is number six in the series.

I'll tally up the new votes and post the rest of the introduction and chapter 1 sometime later today. Or night, depending on where you are.

Stay tuned.

Edit: I just noticed. Everyone suggested a name, which means there is exactly one vote for each name. As there is no time to decide things properly (by gladiatorial combat to the death), you will have to debate it amongst yourselves like civilized beings. Or I'll just break the tie myself in a half hour or so.

[ZeroNumerous]

I vote for Pooplord. Pooplord wins.

[chiasaur11]

I vote for Pooplord. Pooplord wins.

Sounds good.

[The Dark Fiddler]

No! Go with Anon! Or /b/tard!

[SlyGuyMcFly]

The votes came in just a teensy bit too late.


Ready yourselves to hail Lord Poop A. McKnifer.

[chiasaur11]

The votes came in just a teensy bit too late.


Ready yourselves to hail Lord Poop A. McKnifer.

That's more than 8 letters.

Liar.

[shadowxknight]

Pooplord! Pooplord! Pooplord! :smalltongue:

You have been commanded by your king to create a magic potion. What kind of potion do you create?
An immortality potion
What above all other things do you think is the greatest crime against your fellow man?
To sacrifice someone
As a king wishing to rule the world, what personality trait do you feel you most lack?
Expansionism
What do you think is the most important ability trait which must be found in a successful king?
Leadership
It is difficult to rule those with ideas different from your own. What do yourself look most in a leader?
Compassion
It's almost impossible to find a perfect mate. Which of the following do you most look for in a partner?
Physical beauty
What do you think is the best way to pull people together and rule people with different hopes and ideas?
Leadership and charisma
What do you think is the most important thing to remember when walking the path of the warrior?
Glory
After a difficult battle, the army you lead was unfortunately defeated. What was the cause of your defeat?
A lack of military strength
It is sometimes said that victory is only luck. What do you think luck is?
Luck is inescapable
You are standing in front of a mirror which shows your best trait. What is shown in the mirror?
Physical strength
Because of a mistake you made, your army is forced to retreat. What do you do?
Lament your mistake
Among one of your trusted followers a traitor is discovered. What do you do?
Kill the traitor
A messenger from the gods has appeared before you. What does this messenger look like?
A beautiful girl
A demon you have called forth has demanded your most dear possession instead of granting a wish. What does it demand?
Your life
In the country which you rule, a cult has started a rebellion. What do you do?
Send your army
The night before a battle you see several falling stars heading for the east. What do you wish for?
Victory for your army
You are staring at the full moon the night before battle. What are you thinking of?
Your beautiful lover
After a long and difficult battle, your army has finally achieved victory. What do you credit your victory to?
Those who fought with you
Fate can be cruel. If you could save only one person from the flames of a battle, who would it be?
Your beautiful lover
The night before a battle, you drink a parting toast with your comrades. How full is your glass?
About half full
You want to be sure that your knights abstain from disgraceful behaviour. What do you warn them most about?
Obey the law

[The Dark Fiddler]

But Anon practically writes itself!

[SlyGuyMcFly]

That's more than 8 letters.

Liar.

More like a teller of diplomatic truths :smallbiggrin:. McKnifer is what I wrote down in the game, as nobody had voted by that point. Lord Poop A. McKnifer is his full name.

And yes, I'm posting this instead of writing the introduction, Part 2.


...


I'll go back to my hole now.

[ObadiahtheSlim]

POOPLORD!

/10char

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Right, here is the rest of the introduction.


Introduction, Part 2


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-40.jpg

A name that may later prove controversial.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-39.jpg

The inability to distinguish between the sexes is a common ailment amongst those who earn a living introducing RPGs. It is a crippling disease that causes great difficulty in all social interactions. The victims deserve our patience and pity.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-38.jpg

Dramatic pose!

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-37.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-36.jpg

No duh.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-35.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-34.jpg

Believing in fate is for suckers, sucker!

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-33.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-32.jpg

Evil. I like that.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-31.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-30.jpg

Your child? Why did you even bring your child to a battlefield in the first place, you sick bastard?

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-29.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-28.jpg

Uh... What exactly is the Devil doing to the girl on that card?

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-27.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-26.jpg

No duh. Again.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-25.jpg

Hel-lo there, cursor fairy! Is the crazy old man going to show us a magic trick?

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-24.jpg

That is not the card I was thinking about. Oh, and apparently quizzes stolen from a back issue of Cosmopolitan are a surefire way to find the best leader for vanquishing an evil empire. I would have never guessed.



I need a drink. Badly. I can't deal with this game sober.



---------------------------

Chapter one will be up soon.

[Fri]

Come on!!!

This is my favourite part of Ogre Battle. Getting your main character after answering the quiz.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Well, I guess I can give you a small advance.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-23.jpg

[ZeroNumerous]

McKnifer, yay. Now all we need is to get Deneb and we have the funniest characters in the game.

[Fri]

Our lord's attack are POISONING ENEMY and SUMMONING SCARY PHANTOM. Awesome. In your face, sword!

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Chapter One

Introduction

31st of July, Imperial Year 24. The McKnifer Estate. In the manor of Lord Poop McKnifer, the master of the house is having breakfast and reading the morning papers. Lord Poop. Lord Poop A. McKnifer. I bet his friends call him the Pooplord behind his back.

Malton!

Yes, Milord?

I have just received some very disturbing news. Empress Endora has closed down the Zenobian Opera Hall!

Shocking, sir.

Shocking? Just SHOCKING? This is an outrage! A blasphemy! It is an affront I will not tolerate! I shall teach that fool Empress to rue the day she crossed Lord Poop Anon of the McKnifers! I shall see her cast down from her throne and utterly destroyed! I shall bring down my vengeance upon-

More tea, sir?

Yes please. Thank you Malton. Where was I?

Bringing down vengeance, sir.

Ah, yes.

*Pause*

...Sir?

Malton, I have concocted a simple yet elegant plan. Get a notepad. It is as follows:
-Step One: Travel to the frontier of Sharom and contact the rebels there.
-Step Two: Establish myself as leader of the rebellion by whatever means necessary.
-Step Three: Turn the aforementioned ragtag group of misfits and peasants into a competent, loyal and ruthless army.
-Step Four: Conquer the Zeteginean Empire.
-Step Five: Name myself God-Emperor Poop McKnifer.
-Step Six: Restore the Zenobian Opera Hall to it's rightful glory.

Have you got all that?

Yes, Milord. A cunning plan, if I may say so sir.

Thank you. We will leave immediately. Pack my things, Malton.

Right away sir.


And so our brave hero Pooplord and his servant went off to find the rebels. To bring down terrible vengeance and save opera. Which is the same damn thing as far as I can tell.




Mission One

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-70.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-21.jpg

The great rebel army as it currently is. As you can see, it consists of five people.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-23.jpg

Here is our hero. Considering his first name, I don't want to think too hard on how he makes those poison attacks.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-22.jpg

And Malton. Apparently he's a wizard. And a level higher than his boss.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-20.jpg

Warren... Warren... Oh right. That crazy old man who does crappy magic tricks.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-19.jpg

Dun Dun DUNNN!


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-18.jpg

I'm not sure why there is a giant blinking advert for Boss, by Hugo Boss here. Oh, right. Different kind of Boss. The one you can't drink.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-17.jpg

And this must be where Lord Poopypants starts.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-16.jpg

Malton, That city over there seems have a large black tower with an enormous question mark painted on it.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-14.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-13.jpg

Somehow, I fail to be surprised by this.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-12.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-11.jpg

Again, I fail to be surprised by this.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-91.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-90.jpg

Liberate. Conquer's modern, sexy and sophisticated younger sister.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-89.jpg

Well Malton. That senile old wizard has made things very easy for us.

Indeed, sir.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-88.jpg

Well, let's be systematic about this. We start at the bottom and work our way up, capturing cities and temples as we go.

Just the five of us, sir?

Do you see a problem?

No sir.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-87.jpg

Fetch a shovel and our bathing suits. I have a feeling about that island...

Right away, sir.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-86.jpg

Sir, I believe I have found something.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-85.jpg

No need to yell, Malton. While this game is japanese, we are not in an anime.

Oh great. You've broken the fourth wall, idiots! That's my job!

Shut up you.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-84.jpg

What a curious ring... It has something written on it...

Ash nag durr bat you look, ash nag gin bat tool
Ash nag thwack you to look, ag burrs um eeshee crimp a tool

Sounds foreign, sir

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-83.jpg

I am in the mood for some conquering, Malton

Very good, sir

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-82.jpg

Did you have to yell again, Malton?

Very sorry sir, don't know what came over me, sir.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-81.jpg

A card for the conquering invaders? What a quaint little tradition!

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-78.jpg

Malton! You should be ashamed of yourself!

Yes, sir.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-77.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-76.jpg

A Wild Cowled Tutorial Monk appeared!

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-75.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-74.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-73.jpg

There goes the fourth wall again.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-72.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-71.jpg

They came, they found, they conquered.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-69.jpg

Well done Malton.

*Mrrmph!*

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-68.jpg

How nice, it's night time again. It's so much more pleasant like this...

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-67.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-66.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-65.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-64.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-63.jpg

Welcome to the Rebellion, Lans. We offer excellent career advancement in the
revenge business.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-61.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-62.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-60.jpg

Looks like Lans is getting paid already.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-59.jpg

Malton, I have a very cunning plan. I will send Lans behind the enemy forces and then execute a coordinated strike on Warren's tower. We need to take it to complete his quaint little quest.

Very cunning, sir.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-58.jpg

Very good, Malton.

Thank you, sir

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-57.jpg

Malton!

This is extremely mortifying, Milord.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-56.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-55.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-54.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-53.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-52.jpg

Cowled Tutorial Monks must be this area's Zubat.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-51.jpg

Now we will hide in this forest until the time to strike arrives.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-50.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-49.jpg

Lans finds a neat sword.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-47.jpg

Excellent, send the signal to Lans. We will attack from both sides simultaneously!

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-46.jpg

Lans accidentally misses the signal.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-45.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-44.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-43.jpg

Oh for &$¿%'s sake!

*Blam* *Blam* *Blam*

And the next person to break the fourth wall gets some more of the same!

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-42.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-41.jpg

Molton! I swear by the unholy gods of my forefathers that if you do that one more time I. WILL. END. YOU.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-10.jpg

The Rebellion's only troops aren't all that good.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-8.jpg

McKnifer shows them how it's done.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-7.jpg

Prof Oak Warren doesn't manage to pull off a very convincing "thou shalt not pass"

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-6.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-5.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-4.jpg
http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-3.jpg

Looks like proximity to Lord Poop causes bloodthirst and tendencies for murderous rage.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-2.jpg

*Insert Liberate Joke Here*

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-1.jpg

Look at that Malton, fireworks in our honour!

Very pretty, sir.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Intro%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQueenU.jpg

Pillaging the city worked out nicely




Epilogue

So Malton, what do you think of our troops?

Just as Milord predicted, a ragtag group of misfits and peasants.

Much worse than that, Malton. What we have here hardly counts as an incompetent group of buffoons and imbeciles. It is now time to commence part three of my plan. Here is a list of jobs that will need filling. Put up an advertisment in the evening papers, will you?

Right away sir.





----------------------------------------------------------


The Rebellion wants YOU!

The Rebellion requires competent officers and civilian experts to fulfill a variety of high ranking roles due to restructuring of the command structure.

-Commander of the Field Army
-Commander of the Rebel Air Force
-Lord High Admiral of the Rebel Navy*
-Head of the Secret Service
-Drill Sergeant
-Public Relations Expert
-Resident Mad Scientist/Wizard
-Archaeological consultant**

Not qualified, arrived too late? Think you have other skills to offer? The Rebellion is an organization in constant expansion and is always looking for talented individuals. Send an application form detailing your talents now!





*This job is for lazy people.
**Applicants must bring their own hat and bullwhip.

[ZeroNumerous]

Off the top of my head, doesn't Ogre Battle allow you to rename people?

[Fri]

Most hillarious epic thing ever graced this subforum since the conception of this forum in the head of our lord creator Rich Burlew. In the mean time I apply for the title of The Most Noble Lord Accountant/Chief Tax Evader of our Glorious Rebel Army. For Freedom!

[ZeroNumerous]

Guess I'll sign up for Head Boozer--Err, Head of the Secret Service.

[Aragehaor]

Field Commander Raran Reporting for Duty Sir!

Ready to Conquer Liberate our enemys in way of killing those who resist Your complete and utter rule my lord!

they'll Rue the day they closed down The Zenobian Opera Hall!!!:smallfurious:







On a different note. Awesome and hilarious lets play Ferrus! Cant wait for more!

[tyckspoon]

So, are you planning to high Reputation or low? Going to continue the high-born jackass thing for as long as you can keep up the Let's Play?

If I might make a suggestion- Ogre Battle has very low-density text boxes, which means any dialogue of length is going to need a great many screen shots to show. Try just summarizing incidental stuff (like the non-relevant town liberation statements, if you care to show many of them at all) and consider transcribing important conversations to text after an establishing screenshot of the character's portrait. If that takes too long for you, I'm sure you can find the game's entire text somewhere to copy-paste from.

[chiasaur11]

I like to think I have a gift for the sciences.

Some men call me mad. Mad for simply saying that the pull of a object towards the earth is a function of mass rather than some kind of demon.

Honestly, I don't know what they're on about, sir.

[DrunkMonkGar]

Air Marshal Gar applying for duty, sir! I'm ready to rain fiery death on our enemies for the glory of the classical arts!

[Oslecamo]

Head of the secret service reporting in. I'll deliver your majesty's secret poison's behind the enemy lines, and then put the blames on somebody else.:smallcool:

[SlyGuyMcFly]

ZeroNumerous beat you to the punch there, Oslecamo. There are still a few positions available, and you can always make one up. Fri gets to be the only person besides McKnifer and Malton with access to the treasury :smalltongue:

No takers on Archaeological consultant Treasure Hunter and Public Relations Expert Minister of Propaganda?


So, are you planning to high Reputation or low?

I'm inclined to go high rep as you get many more special characters that way. I'm planning on some shenanigans to get Deneb if I go that way, though.


Going to continue the high-born jackass thing for as long as you can keep up the Let's Play?

Probably not. Chances are it will only last so long before getting old. We'll see how it works out.



If I might make a suggestion- Ogre Battle has very low-density text boxes, which means any dialogue of length is going to need a great many screen shots to show. Try just summarizing incidental stuff (like the non-relevant town liberation statements, if you care to show many of them at all) and consider transcribing important conversations to text after an establishing screenshot of the character's portrait. If that takes too long for you, I'm sure you can find the game's entire text somewhere to copy-paste from.

Yeah. I did the first chapter with more detail just to show how the game works. I won't be going into so much detail on the other chapters. Some of the later missions are real big.


Stay tuned for a short intermission later tonight.


EDIT:

Off the top of my head, doesn't Ogre Battle allow you to rename people?

Not the SNES version, sadly. Which does mean that these positions are mostly for fluff reasons.

[shadowxknight]

Hmm. Since I'm lazy I'll be Lord High Admiral of the Rebel Navy. :smallbiggrin:

[Gralamin]

Public Relations Expert Minister of Propaganda?


I suppose I'll sign up for this.

[Oslecamo]

Fine, if I can't be the head of the secret services, then I'll just nominate myself Supreme Inquisitor, to watch out for anyone trying to rebel himself from the rebels.

I also get to kick ass in the frontline and lead by example in my free time.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Intermission I


So Malton, was the recruitment drive successful?


Quite successful sir. We have received applications for almost all vacant posts. The list is as follows:


For Head of the Secret Service: A certain Mr. Numerous. Zero Numerous. He appears to be quite competent and is willing to work for, and I quote directly, “free Martinis and the chance to meet attractive women in need of TLC.”


TLC?


Tender loving care, sir.


Should be cheap, then. Hire him.


Very well sir. For Field Commander and Air Marshal, a pair of gentlemen by the names of Raran and Gar, respectively. They seemed quite passionate about opera-


Say no more Malton. Hire them.


Yes sir. Next is a Mr Fri. For Lord Accountant-stroke-Chief Tax Evader. He has an spotless record, save for one small incident while in the employ of a certain Alphonse Capone...


As an illicit paramilitary organization, we won't need to pay taxes, Malton. But we will need to collect them. Hire him.


Of course, Milord. We also had an application for Resident Mad Scientist. Dr. Chiasaur11. Excellent résumé, Self taught, clinically insane, mocked by his peers... An ideal candidate. Worked on a classified project for the Zeteginean Empire until recently. Something involving mind-control. He was fired under accusations of unethical treatment of subjects.


That is an impressive feat, Malton.


It is sir.


Hire him too then.


Very well, sir. For Minister of Propaganda, one Mr. Gralamin. Has a Law degree from Mechanus U. A very respectable institution, sir.


Excellent. Hired.


Yes, sir. For Lord High Admiral of the Navy one Captain Shadow X. Knight- Sir, I wasn't aware that we had a Navy.


We don't. Yet. But hire the fellow anyway. You never know when you might need a Navy, Malton.


Of course, sir.


And lastly... I received an application form for the position of... Supreme Inquisitor.


Oh?


The form itself was covered in the near illegible scribblings of a deranged zealot, sir.


Well, one would expect that of an Inquisitor.


Some of the diagrams glowed, sir.


Obviously a man of some power, Malton.


I believe I lost a little part of my soul upon reading that form, sir.


Well that settles the matter. Hire him immediately.


Ah... Very well, sir. I suppose one never knows when one might need to burn someone at the stake, Milord.


Quite so, Malton.

[Gralamin]

Happy to be hired. Now to the propaganda, we need a slogan...

Edit:
First Draft: "Join the rebels! If you don't the Empire will kill you anyway!"

[ZeroNumerous]

First Draft: "Join the rebels! If you don't the Empire will kill you anyway!"

"Join the rebellion and kill Liberate, loot Liberate and burn Liberate your black little hearts out!"

[Gralamin]

"Join the rebellion and kill Liberate, loot Liberate and burn Liberate your black little hearts out!"

You have good style Mr. Numerous. *Gets to work on it*

[Aragehaor]

Happy to of been accepted sir!

Ready to brutally slaughter those FOOLS who dare to support the most hated empress who DARED to close down our beloved opera hall! We will have Vengeance!!!:smallfurious: Liberate the enemy and show them the error in closing down our opera hall!!


Not to mention the Horrible Horrible Mind numbingly painful things were going to do to that Empress for denying us the wonderful classical arts! Liberateing were going to do to the Empress!

Of course... i expect were going to need cleaning crews in her throne room later for, unrelated reasons. You know how messy those, uhm... War Dogs get!

[Woot Spitum]

*grabs hat and bullwhip*

Grave Robber Archaelogical Consultant Expert Treasure Hunter Woot Spitum formerly of the It Belongs in a Museum Brigade reporting for duty. What treasures will we be stealing appropriating liberating today?:smallamused:

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Of course... i expect were going to need cleaning crews in her throne room later for, unrelated reasons. You know how messy those, uhm... War Dogs get!

Hellhounds, actually :smallamused:




*grabs hat and bullwhip*

Grave Robber Archaelogical Consultant Expert Treasure Hunter Woot Spitum formerly of the It Belongs in a Museum Brigade reporting for duty. What treasures will we be stealing appropriating liberating today?

Good, good. I assume you have no objections to facing curses of unfathomable power, the restless spirits of ancient kings, profanating the tombs of millenia old saints and occasional digging.

[Fri]

It seems that "Liberation" is the keyword for our army here. I suggest that our motto heavily features that word.

[ZeroNumerous]

It seems that "Liberation" is the keyword for our army here. I suggest that our motto heavily features that word.

The Rebels: KillingLiberating the Empire one hapless fooloppressed citizen at a time!

[Oslecamo]

Supreme Inquisitor Oslecamo reporting for duty! I hope you bunch of maggots realize the honor that is working for Lord Poop McKnifer, DESTROYER LIBERATOR OF THE PEOPLE!

I must say first of all it's good to see so many brutality enthusiasm from the remaining officers. Just the kind of people I like working with.

If you need me, I'll be over there preparing a stake and firewood inspiring speeches to syphon those fools souls increase the moral of our troops. My motto is, when in doubt, burn liberate someone.

[Woot Spitum]

Good, good. I assume you have no objections to facing curses of unfathomable power, the restless spirits of ancient kings, profanating the tombs of millenia old saints and occasional digging.None whatsoever. As long as the digging is only occasional. Wouldn't want to develop callouses or anything like that.


It seems that "Liberation" is the keyword for our army here. I suggest that our motto heavily features that word.Liberation is such a wonderful word. It can make anything sound so much better. Killing? It's liberating your foes' heads from their bodies. Torture? Nothing more than liberating prisoners from the boring humdrum existence of sitting behind bars. Enslavement of conquered people? Merely the liberation of said peoples from financial responsibility and the difficult decisions of everyday life.:smallamused:

[ZeroNumerous]

Liberation is such a wonderful word.

Rebels: Go free, oppress masses! We've liberated you!

Citizen: But.. We lived in a FREE CITY.

Rebels: *Shoots Citizen* He's been liberated from this mortal coil! Whom else desires such liberation?

[chiasaur11]

Uh...
Sir?

These requests for mind control...

I really don't understand them. Perhaps you have me confused with someone else?

I mean, it said scientist, so I figured a physics degree was good enough, but it seems you have some expectations beyond that.

I mean, I'll try my best, within reasonable ethical standards, but...

[ZeroNumerous]

I mean, I'll try my best, within reasonable ethical standards, but...

... What? Looks like someone isn't drinking enough. Mandatory keg-party time.

[Gralamin]

... What? Looks like someone isn't drinking enough. Mandatory keg-party time.

We'll liberate him from his ethical standards!

[Belobog]

Man, this brings back memories. Never got the hang of the game, but it's still one of my favorite series (mostly because of the sequels). On that note...

Chief Drill Sergeant Belobog, reporting for duty, Supreme Commander. Rest assured, your soldiers shall achieve Instrumentation Liberation from their mortal weakness within the hour...And if not, then they shall be shown what the phrase 'Wrong of God' means.

[ZeroNumerous]

Eagerly awaiting the next installment of the adventures of Pooplord McKnifer.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

Tommorrow at the latest, I should think. I've had a unexpected family visit, and I was charged with Cool Big Cousin duty. As I have it on good authority that playing 15 year old videogames is not "cool", I've had to leave the LP sitting there a bit.

[Cristo Meyers]

Tommorrow at the latest, I should think. I've had a unexpected family visit, and I was charged with Cool Big Cousin duty. As I have it on good authority that playing 15 year old videogames is not "cool", I've had to leave the LP sitting there a bit.

*mutters something about "kids these days"*

Gerrof my lawn!

All of a sudden I wish I still had my 64 and Ogre Battle 64...

[Aragehaor]

Tommorrow at the latest, I should think. I've had a unexpected family visit, and I was charged with Cool Big Cousin duty. As I have it on good authority that playing 15 year old videogames is not "cool", I've had to leave the LP sitting there a bit.

Aye sir, if you need me ill be getting drunk in the bar! Oh, And if you find me laying in a pool of blood, dont worry its not mine.

(And if you find a body nearby? its Because those hell hounds, they NEED to be fed! and if it gets rid of yet another opera hater hey, Bonus :smallamused: completely unrelated, trust me)




"OOC" Cant wait for the next update of fun! (Bah, kids. "If it doesnt look real? It must not be good!" Ingrates! every one of them!)

:smalltongue:

[SlyGuyMcFly]

ARGH! :smallfurious: *bangs head against desk*

Update will be tomorrow. For Sure. All the images are uploaded, but the rest will need redoing because I'm a stupid pooperhead who doesn't save his work while he writes. :smallannoyed:

[shadowxknight]

ARGH! :smallfurious: *bangs head against desk*

Update will be tomorrow. For Sure. All the images are uploaded, but the rest will need redoing because I'm a stupid pooperhead who doesn't save his work while he writes. :smallannoyed:

We eagerly await your return glorious leader :smalltongue:

[Aragehaor]

ARGH! :smallfurious: *bangs head against desk*

Update will be tomorrow. For Sure. All the images are uploaded, but the rest will need redoing because I'm a stupid pooperhead who doesn't save his work while he writes. :smallannoyed:

Now now, Dont blame your self Sire! surely it was the paper boy which you ordered to Copy the papers fault! and We shall BURN HIM AT THE STAKE FOR HIS INSOLENCE! Liberate the paper boy from his paycheck!
:smalltongue:

[SlyGuyMcFly]

As promised, here's the next chapter!*

*Statement void in some time zones.



--------------------Chapter Two--------------------

Introduction:


...En garde! allons! allons! Ah!
Toreador, en garde! Toreador, Toreador!
Et songe bien, oui, songe en combattant...


*knock knock*


Ah, come in Malton.


Good morning, sir. I have the reports you requested.


Good work Malton. Is the situation as bad as I thought?


Possibly worse, Milord. I talked to Drill Sergeant Belobog and the three Commanders and they agree that our army is... not very fit. In fact, the general consensus-


Pun intended?


... I am not sure what milord is referring to.


Never mind. Carry on then.


Thank you, sir. They general consensus was as follows: despite their best efforts, our army would barely be able to defeat the Empire's most incompetent troops, and only then if half of them where drunk and the other half was suffering from explosive diarrhea.


That is not very encouraging.... Anything else?


Yes, milord. Field Commander Raran and Mr. Numerous have been drinking more alcohol than would be advisable, our Mad Scientist may not be as mad as we thought, High Lord Accountant Fri has complained on the state of the treasury, and the Supreme Inquisitor recently tried to arrest a man, and I quote, “for looking like he might be contemplating the possibility of heresy”.


This will not do at all Malton. We have too many idle hands, and it is high time we struck the first blow on the Empire. I would have preferred striking directly to the capital, but it seems we shall have to respect the linearity of JRPGs.


Hey, I'm still here-


Don't interrupt. It is rude and un-gentlemanly. Furthermore, I shall break the fourth wall when and where I so wish to. If you have any objections, you can address any complaints to my Army, my Mad Scientist, or my Supreme Inquisitor.


Fine. Whatever. A*****e...


A very unfortunate interruption, sir.


Quite. Make a note Malton, these are my orders:


One, we march on the Sharom Border. The imperial garrison there has a reputation for drunkenness and incompetence.

Two, talk to Chiasaur11. Conventional training methods are proving ineffective in the face of our own army's incompetence, so we shall have to turn to more morally objectionable methods. Have him cook up some super-soldier serums or somesuch.

Three, go down to the bookstore and buy up their stock of Harry Potter and Twilight novels. Use them to keep Inquisitor Oslecamo busy for a while.

Four, call Mr. Numerous up here immediately. I have special orders for him.


Right away sir.


Qu'un oeil noir te regarde,
Et que l'amour t'attend,
Toreador, L'amour t'attend!


*Sigh* It is so hard, doing everything...


Mission:


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-44.jpg


This is the glorious army of the rebellion looks like.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-43.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-42.jpg


Excellent. Deploy all units and start liberating things.


And if the enemy appears?


Oh, don't worry about that. They are rather busy at the moment. Heh. Oh, and call Lord Admiral Knight. We shall be needing the Navy today.


Very well, sir.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-42.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-41.jpg


*twitch* They're asking for it. Just. Asking. For. It.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-39.jpg


AHAHAHHAHAHANO.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-37.jpg


Malton, these people seem to be under the impression that we are... how does the expression go... the good guys?


Indeed, sir. Mr. Gralamin's viral marketing scheme is proving very effective.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-35.jpg


Ah, the Empire shows it's face! Quick, standard pincer formation, we shall meet them outside at that temple!


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-34.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-33.jpg


The fight wasn't fair to begin with, but somebody had to go and break out the artillery.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-32.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-31.jpg


Congratulations, milord.


Thank you, Malton.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-36.jpg


Because the logical thing to do in the midst of a battle is go shopping.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-30.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-29.jpghttp://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-26.jpg


A few battles and a liberated temple later...


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-25.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-24.jpg


See Malton, I knew having a Navy would be useful.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-21.jpg


*KA-BLAM*


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-22.jpg


Malton, the enemy is trying to outflank us. Have Marshal Gar deal with it. We have a castle to storm.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-20.jpg


Three wizards flying on the back of a gryffon. Sounds like the setup for a lame joke.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-19.jpg


Never the less, they send the enemy running back to base like a little girl running back to mommy because they play rough in the sandbox. Bah. Wusses.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-14.jpg


Not any more it isn't! HAW HAW!


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-16.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-9.jpg


Well, that was the last of the Imperial Garrison. Just the castle left, Malton!


On that subject, milord. I believe Lans was offended in some way by the captain of the Castle's guards. I took the liberty of allowing him to storm this particular fortress.


Of course Malton, in the Rebellion we always do our best to cater to the needs and wishes of our employees.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-8.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-7.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-6.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-5.jpg


Lans really needs to work on his quipping. You don't get anywhere in the revenge business without a good quip or three.


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-4.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-3.jpg


The artillery gets called in again. Only this time it's a Devil. Summoned from Hell. Which usually involves a human sacrifice.

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-2.jpg


And the guy in furs steals Lans' kill


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-1.jpg

http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQueenU.jpg


Plundering is such rewarding work, don't you think, Malton?


Indeed, sir. However, I must remind milord that we are calling it the Liberation Tax. Mr. Gralamin insists on such matters.



Epilogue:


Malton, I must confess that I like this castle very much. Wonderful architecture.


Quite so, sir. However, the smell is rather... poignant.


Oh, don't worry about that Malton. It is merely the blocked-up latrines. It shall clear up in a day or two, I'm sure.


I hope so sir. Although I am at loss to explain the deplorable state of the plumbing...


Hardly a mystery, Malton. I ordered Mr. Numerous to infiltrate the castle and spike their food and drink with laxatives. Laxatives and Rohypnol, to be exact. Just as our Generals agreed.


-------------------- Fin --------------------


And that's that. Nothing much interesting happened on this mission. At least nothing interesting happened till I got this:


http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu55/EvenHuman/OB%20Chapter%202/OgreBattle-TheMarchoftheBlackQue-10.jpg

Oh wow. You searched the bodies of enemies slain on the battlefield and you find blood!?I am in shock. In fact, I think I must go and sit down. I'm feeling positively faint-

Cut it. Or this LP is getting retconned into yaoi romance. With you as the protagonist. And Poop and Malton will be the main love interests. Capische?

...

Good. So this "Blood" is in fact a "Blood Kiss". As you may imagine, it turns one of our guys into a vampire. And this ain't one of those new-fangled modern vampires, no sir! This one is a respectable vampire! Red cloak! Pointy ears! Grey skin and claws! Sleeps in a coffin! And to top it all off, he can recruit werewolves. How badass is that?

So yeah, things are turning out good. :smallamused:

[ZeroNumerous]

I would like to be a vampire. It would indeed be fun. :smallamused:

Nevermind. I couldn't get drunk as a vampire. :smalleek:

[shadowxknight]

I'll be the vampire!
That is if vampires can cross water in this game...I am the admiral of a non-existent navy after all:smallsigh:

[Aragehaor]

Werewolfs? now were talking my lord! Picture the massive Death and destruction they will wreck! Peace and Liberation they will bring!

i Volunteer my lord! That is if i can still drink beer! of course. :smallamused:

[tyckspoon]

Goddamn you are lucky. Not so much for the vampire- they're not all that useful. Werewolves, on the other hand, kick all kinds of ass. Three of 'em on the front lines, a Mage and a Ghost/Demon in the back for Low Sky movement can chew through almost anything at night time, especially once you manage to get one of the items to promote the Mage to a Sorcerer/Lich. Not so hot in the day, but eh.

Speaking of mages- too bad you didn't get a Sorcerer's Stone instead (or a CROWN. An early Princess will break your game wide open..) And are you keeping on eye on your Wizards' alignments? It's pretty easy to overpower them and shoot their ALIs straight to zero in the early stages, and once you've got them there it's an incredible pain in the ass to raise them back up so you can make them Mages.

[DrunkMonkGar]

So... my air force consists of two gryphons and whoever we can fit on their backs.... *grumble* At least it isn't two unassembled cardboard boxes and some tape, like that other "rebellion" that tried to hire me.

Heh, this update continues the trend of excellence. I can't wait for the next one. :smallbiggrin:

[Starbuck_II]

Werewolfs are good, but you have to make sure the time of day is right. Otherwise they are just Fighters with other names.

[ObadiahtheSlim]

Nice item for so early. I remember when I got the item for a Princess in the Pogrom Forest.

[Ella]

So are you going to make yourself a Lanpyre?

I for one think I need to join this rebellion, for the nostalgia value of ogre battle is enormous :)