New player in the playground

[Telonius]

Name: Laurel Elizabeth
Human
Neutral Good
Class TBD (Leaning Monk or Beguiler, I think)
Height: 21 in
Weight: 7 pounds 8 ounces
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/profile6/224/15/n1071591020_9688.jpg

Mrs Tel, Laurel and I are resting comfortably when we get the chance. :smallsmile:

[Raewyn]

Awww, so cute!

Congratulations!

(Go Beguiler! They rule!)

[EmeraldRose]

Congratulations! Hugs for everyone!

*hugs*

She very cute :smallsmile:

[Mr. Mud]

Dawwww, Gratz Telo

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Congratulations!

That said, try to steer her towards Beguiler, won't you? The traditional dump stats for Monks are often Intelligence and Charisma, both of which are a great help in a world where punching someone so hard their nose exits the back of their skull is no longer the most marketable skill.

Sure, her attentiveness and common sense may take a bit of a drop, but I still say Beguiler is the optimal choice for child raising...so long as you keep her away from to many ranks in Bluff.

[Telonius]

Well, from what her mom said, she clearly already has Improved Unarmed Strike. Maybe a Swordsage? :smallbiggrin:

[Dragonrider]

The best thread title ever. :smallbiggrin:

Izzababy! Izzadorable!

[GrandMasterMe]

Soooooo Cute!!!

[Perenelle]

Awww! congratulations! :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

[Shikton]

Gratz on baby! :smallbiggrin:

[Moff Chumley]

*cough*

Ya know, we have a New Members thread for this kind of thing...

:biggrin:

[Recaiden]

Oh, that's her hand. How cute. Congratulations to you.:smallbiggrin:

[Flickerdart]

Gah, new people means less XP for the rest of us. And less loot. You have to get armour custom-made for something that size, and that costs extra! :smallbiggrin:

[Gamerlord]

Congrats on the newborn, lets hope she doesn't become a blackguard :smallbiggrin:

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Mazeltov! Cute baby is very cute. :smallsmile:

[FoE]

Objection! Babies are True Neutral. Or Unaligned, if you prefer going by 4E.

Welcome to the party, little one.

[Sneak]

D'awww. Congrats. :smallbiggrin:

[Trog]

Awww, congratulations! :smallsmile:

And.. uh... someone already did a know alignment on the little bundle of joy? Was there a concern that she'd turn out evil or something? Hmmm... come to think of it considering how labor often goes that might be justified. Nevermind. Good to hear the results were good. :smalltongue::smallwink::smallbiggrin:

[TheCountAlucard]

Cute baby? It is cute. :smalltongue:

[SMEE]

Congratulations on the new player! :smallbiggrin:

She looks completely adorable! :smallsmile:

[thubby]

congratz, you don't matter anymore :smalltongue:

*melts from the cuteness*

[Ikialev]

Ow.
You won't get peace until her 18.

[arguskos]

Congrats Telonius! Didn't even know it was on the way, but awesome to see things worked out! :smallbiggrin:

[Tiger Duck]

Ow.
You won't get peace until her 18.

and really not even then.:smallwink:

[Ikialev]

...yeah. So, you are effed, though you might not realise it yet. :J

[rubakhin]

Mashallah. *squints at it* Wow, that is tiny. That is its hand, right, and there's not something wrong with its wee neck?

[Mauve Shirt]

Congratulations! :smallbiggrin:

[Trai]

Oh, she's beautiful! Gorgeous name, too! Congratulations!!

[Haven]

D'awww! She is beautiful!

Congrats!

[Fri]

...why don't you raise him to be a bard...

Why Bard is Better Than Beguiler

Those who are jealous of a bard's awesome quotient frequently dismiss them as "signing". Bards need not sing.

Bards can dance... and with Tumble and Improved Unarmed Strike, they are practicing Capoeria.

Bards can use the drums... and light maces + percussion skill + two-weapon fighting is a nasty-fun combination.

Bards can orate. Don't believe that's effective? Listen to the St. Crispin's Day speech (especially with a Ghost-sound provided orchestra rising the background) and don't get stirred.

Bards can do comedy. A bard who tells puns, inspiring his allies to hit people harder.

Bards can chant, and that's a freaky one. A bunch of dwarves, lead by their bard, each chanting in unison. "I wanna be a dwarven fighter/smashing orcs and other blighters."

Bards can use stringed instruments. Bards with high enough ranks in Fiddle automatically have a golden fiddle.1

More importantly, though, bards tell stories. Bards tell the stories of our adventures, they tell stories about their unending fidelity, and they tell stories about your fighters hygeine that have to be smelled to believe. What do beguilers do? It's right in the name: they lie. Beguilers lie like dogs, and cannot be trusted. They use the fact that Wizards, bereft of any remaining awesome (having spent it ALL on bards), were forced to give beguilers mechanical crutches to get around the fact that they lie and they smell funny. And carry diseases.

It is well known that bards are all fantastically endowed paragons of their gender, while beguilers are lying, disease-ridden deviates... and not even the fun kind of deviates. The kind of deviates that even make Blackguards go "That dude has something seriously wrong with him." And I'm not talking pansy blackguards. I'm talking the kind of blackguards who were paladins until they tasted their first baby and said "Yum. I think I'll eat more of these."

So play a bard. Because bards are awesome. And beguilers cheat at cards. ALL THE TIME.



1Golden fiddle not included. Offer void in certain Crystal Spheres. Consult your local overdeity for details.



Why Bard is The Greatest Class Ever

(http://www.dungeonmastering.com/gaming-life/why-bard-is-the-greatest-class-ever)




Here at Dungeon Mastering we try to foster a community where we can engage in intellectual discussion and all views are respected, even if not agreed with. One of the points of disagreement around here is the value of bards. One of my colleagues has a well documented anti-bard bias. Another has a less documented opinion that bards are crunchy and delicious. Well I intend to settle the argument right now, bards are the greatest class in D&D and if you don’t agree your opinion is wrong.

Let me break it down for you:

Bards are Indie: For many years and many editions the charisma attribute was cursed to joke status among gamers. One of the sole devotees of this underestimate stats were the bard class and they were ridiculed for it. Now that charisma has gone mainstream everyone is jumping on the bandwagon – we’re looking at you 4e Warlord, is 4e Warlock, and 4e Rogue. It’s okay though, charisma sold out so bards are not that into it anymore, they have a new ability score. They would tell you what it is, but it’s pretty underground, you wouldn’t have heard of it.

Bards Make Great Come-With-Guys: In an earlier article my bard-hating colleague asked the question “Do you really want me to ask a fighter surrounded by 6 orcs if he’d rather have back-up or hear a tune?”. Allow me to phrase that another way, how often in your life have you wished you had a soundtrack? If you were slicing up orcs left and right, wouldn’t someone shredding on a lute really get your blood pumping? I’ve never slaughtered monsters before, but I know I take my MP3 player every time I go to the gym. Lets say you get overwhelmed and can’t handle it, that bard is going to write a great song about you. He will embellish a bit, throw in a damsel in distress and a few dragons to the story and suddenly people will be singing your praises for years.

Bards are Selfless: So much of a bard’s power is tied up in making his friends look good. When you only dealt that dragon a killing blow due to the bard’s +1 bonus or just barely made that tumble check to avoid looking like an idiot thanks to some inspiring music, everyone just assumes it was your natural talent winning the day. The bard isn’t greedy, he doesn’t take credit for your victories or tries to steal your kills, he just helps you be the best you can be. Plus there is no better person for talking you up to guys or ladies you are interested in.

Bards Can Do Anything They Set Their Minds To: There’s a wonderful quote from the science fiction author Robert Heinlein “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” Except for programing a computer (they’re taking night classes) that sounds like it could be the resume of a bard. Bards might not be able to do a particular thing as well a specialist, but they can fill in any skill you are lacking and provide valuable assistance to your specialist in that field, two d20s are better than one!

Bards Annoy Your DM: Bards are a wonderful class if you like to frustrate your DM while he tries to tell a story. They excel at seducing the barmaids, prying info away from the DM with bardic knowledge, running afoul with the law and just generally mucking about the plot. Alternatively, if for some strange reason you don’t like raising your DM’s blood pressure, bards make great characters for progressing through a plot. Bardic knowledge allows your DM to pass along important information in an organic way and bards have the social skills to converse with tavern drunks or court nobles without causing a brawl at either setting. Regardless if you use the powers for good or evil, bards make fantastic roleplaying characters.

[Dragonrider]

...why don't you raise him to be a bard...

....

:smalltongue:

[Fri]

Bah. My native language don't have those silly gender different pronouns.

[Dragonrider]

Bah. My native language don't have those silly gender different pronouns.

Oh okay. That's all right then. :smallsmile:

[Mr. Mud]

Heh, now you get +1 to Tax Rebate Tel!

[Dracomorph]

That is the least William-Churchill-looking baby I have seen in a long time. Gratz on your new minion!

[Lupy]

Congratulations!

May he be a successful Gestalt.

[varthalon]

Minion Dracomorph? Have you never watched the sinister evil of babies. It won't be their minion, it will make us all it's thralls. Soon they... Ack! baby gaze attack, failed saving throw against feebleminding effect...

...who a good baby... you are... yes you are... choochie, choochie, coo...

[evil-frosty]

Now you will need to get a 12 gauge to scare off all the boys:smalltongue:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjO9kX4npVY


Congrats.

[cycoris]

Oh, how wonderfully adorable!!

Can I babysit? I promise not to squash her. :smalltongue:

[Yarram]

Naawwwwwwww...
I want one. Not permanently. Just to have around sometimes but built in with an off-switch.

[Red_Ape]

Naawwwwwwww...
I want one. Not permanently. Just to have around sometimes but built in with an off-switch.

I would not trust you with anything that has an 'on-off switch' Yarram, you would keep flicking it until the circuit board over heats and explodes into smitherines and then you would scream a triumphant scream. God I can see you doing that... I bet you can too. :D

[Coidzor]

Hmm. Well, as long as she doesn't turn out to be a rouge, I'm sure you'll be happy. :smallbiggrin:

[Zeb The Troll]

Hmm. Well, as long as she doesn't turn out to be a rouge, I'm sure you'll be happy. :smallbiggrin::smallconfused:

Congrats, Telonius!

Now, about those Intro to RPG sessions we need to schedule...

:cool:

[Coidzor]

What? She's what brought in acknowledged sexual deviance into my sonic the hedgehog. I hold a grudge. :smalltongue:

Hmm. Though now I'm wondering how one would do that. I know I've heard something about Munchikin being a fun thing for chilluns...

[OverdrivePrime]

^____^ Daaaaaawwwww... Congratulations Telonious!

She's a beautiful little baby, and I commend you on your contribution to the gene pool. Also, full marks for courage. My wife and I are still a bit nervous about taking that plunge despite just about 8 years of very happy marriage. Congrats, and I vote for Beguiler!