View Full Version : Funny new player stories

2009-08-23, 12:50 PM
I got quite a kick out of the epic dm moments/ jerk dm moments thread so I thought I would make this thread about some funny/cool moments where a new player shined or went down in a hilarious ball of flames.

By and large my experiences with newer players are with my dms trying to get their girlfriends to play, which tends to end badly. They will argue and the game tends to break down or they will contribute little get bored and leave, but some very entertaining moments came out of these situations.

1. Paladin running away from commoner and kobold zombies to be ripped in two by ropers (very nasty).

2. Monk running away from commoner zombies to be ripped apart by a grey render zombie (sensing a pattern here, never split up)

3. Goliath monk doing an awesome backflip....out of the ring of safety against the advice of the party druid to be eaten by a land wyrm of some sort.

4. halfling rogue being hit by every trap in the dungeon ever, and not ever trying to search for the traps.

5. gnome bard running naked through town invisible pantsing people until being run over by a cart filled with gnome prisoners (what they were supposed to be looking for in the first place).

6. And last but not least... introducing your girlfriend to dnd by playing tomb of horrors as the party's meatshield.

2009-08-23, 12:56 PM
The first time my girlfriend (now fiance) played was quite amusing. Probably since I was NOT the DM. The highlights of it were:
1) After the party killed some orcs she took ones head, tied it to a stick, and named it "Betty"

2) Me accidentally causing a mob of angry villagers to chase me since I showed up covered in Orc blood and tried to shake it off. This sprayed nasty orc blood over a bunch of villagers.

3) Another new player spending 75% of the game passed out (not in real life) because he drank the dwarven super ale...

4) "Betty" being poked at random villagers and causing several elderly women to suffer heart attacks and die...

Too bad we never got to play another session after that.

2009-08-23, 09:04 PM
My current DM (and flatmate) thought that Bracers of Armor were for holding your trousers up...

2009-08-24, 11:22 AM
Hmm, in my first game ever (run by my cousin), we were playing in the dragonlance setting (right after it came out for 2nd edition). My little sister (I think she was about 10 at the time) insisted on playing a gully dwarf.

In retrospect it was both adorable and hilarious. She called herself 'Dit dit the Dorf dorf'. She wielded a pointy stick. She had an intelligence score of 3 (this is the low end of average for Gully Dwarves in 2e). More importantly, she played it pretty well.

The game involved invading and accomplishing some task in a hollowed out mountain full of Tinker Gnomes. We enlisted the help of a pirate ship full of Kender to do this. Much insanity followed, but 'Dit dit the Dorf dorf' became the hero of the day by poking every Gnomish contraption with her pointy stick to humorous and often useful effect.

2009-08-24, 11:50 AM
Literally the first action of my very first game was to kill myself by accidentally stabbing myself in the foot. The DM had his brand new, home-brewed set of critical hits and fumble rules that he was just itching to try out. This also means that my very first roll ever in an RPG was a natural 1. Yeah, this did not bode well for our intrepid hero...

2009-08-24, 12:46 PM
First (and AFAIK only) session of my (then) GF:

She is playing an elf cleric of Correlon (and we had explained the story of the battle between Gruumsh and Correlon), and she stumbles across our path, being chased by a couple of orcs. It soon became clear to her that we meant her no harm and would in fact help defend her, so we joined the fray. The orcs were soon in the negatives, so what does she say?

"I stab him with my longsword. In the eye."

EPIC NEWBIE MOMENT! :smallbiggrin: