Wow...

[EndlessWrath]

So...I'll explain all i can about my evening tonight. I had to tell someone, and since no one around here can know yet, I figure the playgrounders can indulge my happiness.

In short... My girlfriend of a year proposed to me tonight. She's a little younger than me.. but much more mature (which is saying a lot :smallwink:). As she's still underage, this is only a plan so far. It was quite romantic though, after spending a day at a state fair and grabbing a bite to eat, walking along docks, and ending up playing on the swings. She drops to one knee and asks. I was rendered speechless. i could not have foreseen this at all. She took this at first as I was trying to find a way to say no. :smalleek:

it couldn't possibly be any more wrong. I couldn't find a way to say yes! after a minute or two we embrace, kiss and full of tears i can barely make out a "yes... of course!"

To be fair, we're both going to be in college(she starts next year, I started this year) and we're going to separate colleges in the same state. probably 2 hour drive. I know this'll be hard and straining... but she and I are willing to wait it out. We plan to announce when we have enough money.. get permission for tradition and do what we can. More than likely we'll announce it after college, then get everything set as need be.

If you got through all of that, I'm glad. Not really a discussion per say, just wanted to shout it out to those I can. :smallbiggrin: Thanks playgrounders!

-Wrath

[billtodamax]

Congratulations!

[EleventhHour]

Best of luck, mon amie!

...That would probably come out better if I spoke french. A minute to go figure out what it is in Latin? :smalltongue:

[Elm11]

Congratulations Wrath!

Hope it all works out, and best of luck for the future :smallbiggrin:

[Mando Knight]

The guy's usually supposed to be the one to propose... <.< >.>

Anyway, hope it works out for you. My parents got engaged the semester after they met, then got married as soon as they graduated. Twenty-seven years, six births, a death, and an adoption later, and they're still the closest approximation I've ever seen to "ideal married couple."

[Mystic Muse]

good luck!

[_Zoot_]

Congratulations!

I hope that it all works out and that you two are happy together!!!:smallbiggrin:

[EndlessWrath]

The guy's usually supposed to be the one to propose... <.< >.>


Lies! lies the governments society tell you! I can't find it in a d&d manual it must not be true!

Sorry. I had a little too much mountain dew earlier.

I see your point...but I had non idea about her wanting this, I hadn't even considered it more than once or twice...

also.. its not limited to us boys. We're starting a new trend :smallwink:

[Yarram]

I want to say congratulations. I really do, but I'm worried.

I don't want to be patronising and condescending, seeing as I'm younger than you (I think... Only just though), but do you think that you can spend the rest of your life with this girl? Is she, and you for that matter, mature enough to make this decision?
Especially since she's underage, and because I personally don't know anyone mature enough my age to make that decision.

[thubby]

between the cost of marriage (and believe me it is costly), the legal headache, and the age considerations, it's worth waiting until you are out of college.

plus, if you love her, waiting won't do any harm. if you're wrong, you will regret it.

i will say congratz regardless, it's still a big and very special event. and kudos to the lady for taking the lead.

[EndlessWrath]

I want to say congratulations. I really do, but I'm worried.

I don't want to be patronising and condescending, seeing as I'm younger than you (I think... Only just though), but do you think that you can spend the rest of your life with this girl? Is she, and you for that matter, mature enough to make this decision?
Especially since she's underage, and because I personally don't know anyone mature enough my age to make that decision.

Trust me as I say I'm not worried about that part. I know this is the girl, there will not be another, partly because I know enough about love and know other girls just don't interest me as much as she does. and the other part is because my standards are pretty high and i usually get made into best guy friend. She really is my match and i'm lucky to have found her at this point. I am worried i'll screw it up..but I think thats just me being paranoid.:smalleek:.

I am facing enough in life to have the ability to determine how i want to spend my life, and she's had this ability for quite some time. She really is understanding about this.

I probably over explained and what not...but i'm tired and can't sleep. So you'll just have to excuse me

-Wrath

[Lord Herman]

Congratulations! :smallbiggrin:

[SurlySeraph]

D'awwwww. Congratulations, and I wish you two the best of luck and happiness together.

[Fredthefighter]

Congratulations!

I hope you two are very happy together. And I wish you many many years of happy marriage.

[Bellepheron]

Congratz man! Makes me miss having a gf, not because of the proposal thing but the things you did before that.


hrm, last time a girl went on her knees for me was...waaaaaaait a min that is a different topic :smallbiggrin:


I hope it works out for you, I wish you all the best!

[Yarram]

Trust me as I say I'm not worried about that part. I know this is the girl, there will not be another, partly because I know enough about love and know other girls just don't interest me as much as she does. and the other part is because my standards are pretty high and i usually get made into best guy friend. She really is my match and i'm lucky to have found her at this point. I am worried i'll screw it up..but I think thats just me being paranoid.

The reason I'm worried is because you're not. I'm just saying, make sure you step back and look at your relationship objectively before you commit. Ask yourself: (But you don't have to tell us)
Who is really in control of the relationship?
What do both of us get out of the relationship? (This doesn't have to be anything physical. I'm not that cold.)
Why do you like each other?
Why will the relationship last?
What will cause friction between you in the future?
How are you both going to talk through friction? (You should probably talk to her about this before you marry too.)
Why do we actually want marriage? (You should talk about this too)

All of these questions are pretty selfish in a way, but if you discover something about yourself, or you become aware of an aspect about her that will cause conflict in a marriage, just be wary ok?
I'd talk to her about it objectively, because if you can't hold a conversation about something you need to with her (and I'm not talking about accusatory conversations where you pick on her faults, but rational ones where you both discuss the outcome of your marriage), because she'll get offended and snap at you, then imho she's too irrational to marry until she can develop that ability.
Just don't be afraid to back out ok?:smallsmile: It's really hard to admit it, but our pride makes us do lots of things we shouldn't.

[OverdrivePrime]

Congratulations, EndlessWrath! Very exciting.

And in place of best wishes for the future, all I can offer is the 3 secrets to make any relationship last: Communication, Respect and Communication.

Cheers!

[Helanna]

Hey, that's awesome! Congratulations!

Yarram has some good advice, so listen to him. The only thing I'll add is what I think is a major problem in relationships: Remember that you *will* fight occasionally, and that it does *not* mean that the relationship is ending! Every healthy couple fights every once in a while. Learn to get over it and make up!

[mikej]

Congratulations, best of luck the both of you.

[Fin]

Congratulations.

I would just like to point out that as long as you both love each other the distance between Colleges couldn't matter less. My girlfriend and I went to Universities on opposite sides of the country, luckily that country was England so we were just over two hours apart. It never made a difference we saw each other as often as possible and now that we have both graduated we live together.

So in summary don't worry. I'm sure you'll be very happy together.

[Mauve Shirt]

Congratulations! I hope it works out!

[V'icternus]

Same here.

I might not be a romance expert. Or, uh, have much experience with it at all...
But once you're ready, go for it. (Really ready. Job, place to stay, the works.)

[Icewalker]

Congratulations, and good luck. :smalltongue:

2 hours is not a very far distance, it shouldn't make much of a burden on the relationship. Not like you're one opposite sides of the country.

Now, as to the concerns people have over unreadiness, I'm around the same age and have recently come to elements about my character I expect will define my character for the entire rest of my life. I think that it is possible to be ready, but it's also possible to think you are ready but not be. If you are putting a hold on the actual announcement though for a while, then I'm sure you'll be able to really figure out whether it's the perfect match, which is sounds like it probably is.

About worrying about screwing it up, if you match together so well, then as long as you act normally, it's not really possible to screw up the relationship, your flaws are part of you as well, and if you can't accept those in your partner, well, it wouldn't work out anyway. Just keep things clear and straightforward: one of the biggest problems with relationships is miscommunication.

[Catch]

You really ought to consider waiting it out. Marriage carries more consequences and responsibilities than most people understand, initially, and when you're young and infatuated, a lot of that is easily hand-waved away. It's unlikely, but not impossible, to find the right person for you in your hometown, and making a lifetime commitment before even going to college is a questionable choice, especially when there's so much of the world you haven't seen or experienced. I'm old and jaded enough to tell you with honesty that coming out of high school, love and marriage appear magical, blissful and endless.

They're not. Think about your decision for a long time, before making it. Talk it over with friends and family, and see what advice they have. And if you can't tell anyone about it, that's a major red flag that you might have made a hasty decision. Being in love is great, but don't let it cloud your judgment. If you can honestly say that you know this person almost completely and that you can spend the rest of your life with them, flaws and all, then you might be okay. Love fades, but regret burns forever.

Take care of yourself, alright? Best of luck.

[Bonecrusher Doc]

Congratulations on your engagement! If you want advice, here it is:

Take it slowwww! Which it sounds like you are doing already. It's best to make big decisions during stable periods rather than periods of transition... and high school to college is probably one of the most significant periods of transition!

I wish you both the best. I know what it means to be so full of happiness you feel like you're going to explode if you don't tell somebody!

[FoE]

I was initially going to say "Aren't you rushing it?" But then I thought "who am I to tell this young guy that he hasn't found the One"? I know lots of people who found love early in life and are still together years later. Turn her away, and you regret it the rest of your life.

And even if things don't work out, well, better to have love and lost than never loved at all. Sometimes you just gotta let someone play their hand and learn from the experience.

I would wait until after college before you start making babies, though. :smalltongue:

[Eon]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

[Limerence]

Best of luck, mon amie!

...That would probably come out better if I spoke french. A minute to go figure out what it is in Latin? :smalltongue:

Je ne parle pas beaucoup de francais, mais..

You got it right with "mon amie" but since you're referring to a male it'll just be "ami". "Ami" is masculine and "amie" is feminine.

"Le[La] petit[e] ami[e]" means "boy[girl]friend."

Anyway. Congratulations. I can understand how that could be difficult, though, man. Most of my relationships have been long distance so it has been hard. But it's only two hours! I mean, it could be like states away, right?

Just count your blessings and things should work out!

[Elfin]

Congratulations, and good luck!

[Vmag]

Mmm, underaged love. Reminds me of this 28 year-old married Petty Officer I knew. Couldn't wait to give up the wife of equal age to hook up with the just-turned-18 gal he was seeing.

That's the way to do it, though. Catch them young while they're at their emotional peak and ready to marry the first thing that feels "special" to them.

That's probably how the wife snagged me :smallbiggrin:

[xPANCAKEx]

tradition is other peoples baggage - thats all i'll say on this one

[Gamerlord]

If I remember correctly my dad proposed to my mother in college, which is why my mom has yet to get a degree in anything.

[daggaz]

between the cost of marriage (and believe me it is costly), the legal headache, and the age considerations, it's worth waiting until you are out of college.

plus, if you love her, waiting won't do any harm. if you're wrong, you will regret it.

i will say congratz regardless, it's still a big and very special event. and kudos to the lady for taking the lead.

This. I'm 32 and been married twice. With a girl for years now, and we are in no rush. There is no rush. Take your time. You have all the time in the world. If you two really do love eachother, it will happen in good time. I would definitely wait until you are thru with the first three years of college tho. You guys have no idea how much you are going to grow and change.

You can always get married later, but you can never forget a divorce. Trust me.

[Perenelle]

Congrats! :smallbiggrin:

[Limerence]

Yeah, I'm happy for you but I agree with some other people here.

If you hurry up and get married one ( or both ) of you might just give up college and that's something you(or her) might regret later.

I should take my own advice because I've been pushing for me and Grey Knight to get married for the past couple of years.

[Faulty]

Trust me as I say I'm not worried about that part. I know this is the girl, there will not be another, partly because I know enough about love and know other girls just don't interest me as much as she does.

You're going to be going to college. You're about to be inundated with new people and experiences. I'd be careful if I were you.