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View Full Version : [3.5] 101 uses for a dead rat?



DataPacRat
2009-09-06, 06:09 PM
I've got a PC, divine caster level 6, who's spent some of his starting gold on the material components to cast Animate Dead a bunch of times... and now has himself 96 skeletal rats tucked away in his Heward's Haversack.

So far, he's already used them to wake up some other PCs, and has a few standing by to trigger a few of the dungeon's traps at a convenient time...

... so what other ideas have you got for 'em all?

Myou
2009-09-06, 06:10 PM
Tie it to a stick by the tail....

Dixieboy
2009-09-06, 06:12 PM
Improvised (thrown) weapons? (fill them with an alchemical substance for added fun)

Spying (Using divination from the mandatory party wizard)

Circumstantial bonus to social skills.

Help with aid another checks?

Tyndmyr
2009-09-06, 06:13 PM
Dead rat on a stick. Sell to the rich as a novelty toy/child punishment utensil.

Myou
2009-09-06, 06:17 PM
Dead rat on a stick. Sell to the rich as a novelty toy/child punishment utensil.

And sell it to the fighter a a rat-flail.

Try two rats for a dire rat-flail

Assassin89
2009-09-06, 06:18 PM
Sell as a toy for cats.

Use to distract house cats and/or catfolk.

Dixieboy
2009-09-06, 06:23 PM
And sell it to the fighter a a rat-flail.

Try two rats for a dire rat-flail

Then get promptly kicked in the behind by the DM when you uttered both the words "Rat-flail" and "Dire flail" within the span of one session.

Myou
2009-09-06, 06:26 PM
Then get promptly kicked in the behind by the DM when you uttered both the words "Rat-flail" and "Dire flail" within the span of one session.

But the DM cannot deny it, the dire rat-flail is awesome!

Kylarra
2009-09-06, 06:30 PM
Give the dead rat tail to a witch.

SoD
2009-09-06, 06:31 PM
Rat-onna-stick?

May be hard, given that they're skeletal...get some zombie-fied ones.

technophile
2009-09-06, 06:47 PM
Try two rats for a dire rat-flail
No, that's a rat dire flail.

A dire rat flail is a dire rat tied to the end of a stick.

Naturally, you can extrapolate to a dire rat dire flail...

Strawman
2009-09-06, 06:56 PM
Biological warfare. You can take down a good sized town by yourself.

Intimidate check circumstance bonus. How many can your raise at once?

Street performance. The world's tiniest and most tragic love story.

Ruin cafes. Chase out residents of a house. Contaminate stored food on a massive scale.

Myou
2009-09-06, 07:01 PM
No, that's a rat dire flail.

A dire rat flail is a dire rat tied to the end of a stick.

Naturally, you can extrapolate to a dire rat dire flail...

No no, the rat-flail is a discreet weapon of it's own. Thus the dire rat-flail is two rats on either end of a stick.

Then there's the dire dire rat-flail.... :smallamused:

Zeta Kai
2009-09-06, 07:37 PM
Tie two of their tails together. You now have a rat-bola, an improvised tripping weapon that can be thrown. You target will be too distracted by the discovery that their legs are suddenly bound by dead rats to notice you coming up with an axe...

Tengu_temp
2009-09-06, 07:38 PM
Sock puppet.

Strawman
2009-09-06, 08:30 PM
Dead rat + Raise Dead + Torch = Awesome.

Ganurath
2009-09-06, 08:34 PM
Smuggling. Tie some thin string connecting opposite tips of the ribs to one another to create a wire mesh to hold up the vials of smuggled merchandise.

Practical jokes in the local Temple of Pelor.

lsfreak
2009-09-06, 08:50 PM
Cast Light on them. Mobile torches and/or hilariously tasteless practical jokes involving peasants fleeing in terror.

Strawman
2009-09-06, 08:53 PM
Can an undead rat be used as a familiar?

Godskook
2009-09-06, 08:55 PM
Am I the only one who thought of this (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=225)? Yes? Crap!

AslanCross
2009-09-06, 09:03 PM
Courtesan Repellant for the Paladin.

Myou
2009-09-06, 09:05 PM
Am I the only one who thought of this (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=225)? Yes? Crap!

You seem to have missed my posts. xD

I knew I should have dropped a rat-kai joke.

Godskook
2009-09-06, 09:08 PM
You seem to have missed my posts. xD

I knew I should have dropped a rat-kai joke.

Nope, I saw it, just didn't see anything about a Rat Morning Star Zanpakuto mentioned anywhere in it, but it was your post that made me determined to find the link. :)

Alcopop
2009-09-06, 09:14 PM
Tie stings on them and give them to your party bard so that he can reinact your epic adventures via perform: puppetry. also, rat-side story... and Rats! (gedit?)

Construct a moving undead throne from them and name your self the "sewer
king"

Strawman
2009-09-06, 09:22 PM
The only thing better than a rat king? An undead rat king familiar. On fire.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_king_(folklore)

Etrus
2009-09-06, 09:51 PM
Smuggling. Tie some thin string connecting opposite tips of the ribs to one another to create a wire mesh to hold up the vials of smuggled merchandise.

I like this one- I might steal the idea. A smuggling group hires a necromancer to create zombified rats. The vials would be made out of the worthless black onyx 'shell' left over after the rat zombiefication process, so if they were ever attacked or caught in traps the shattered vials would appear to be remains from the necromantic ritual and no smuggling would be suspected. :D
anyways:
Create distractions- people get a minor penalty to Listen checks because of the skittering scratchy sounds.
(Un)living shield- either a small bonus to AC against ranged attacks, or perhaps have them cover the PC's face so he can pretend to be some sort of Skeletal Rat That Walks.

Cieyrin
2009-09-06, 09:57 PM
Nope, I saw it, just didn't see anything about a Rat Morning Star Zanpakuto mentioned anywhere in it, but it was your post that made me determined to find the link. :)

Unfortunately, Bleach's definition of a morningstar differs from the D&D Definition. It's more akin to a heavy flail than anything.

Anyways, my suggestions:

Dip them in contact poison and have them invade a building of your choice.

Dire rat zombie tied to a stout stick to make a heavy rat flail.

Have them run though the sewers and roll in anything nasty and drop them into the town water source.

Make your own traveling skeletal rat circus!

Ravens_cry
2009-09-06, 10:01 PM
Make a fake rat king (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_king_(folklore)) to fool the gullible? You would need more then one dead rat though.

Tyndmyr
2009-09-06, 10:07 PM
I think the real question is, What can't you do with a dead rat?

Drider
2009-09-06, 10:08 PM
What is your alignment? If your good, make them stay at the town your in and defend people against muggers/bandits.

If your evil, use them in the slingshot.

Also, use them for flanking with your rogue, and make it hide, so the person can't see it.

Godskook
2009-09-06, 10:10 PM
Unfortunately, Bleach's definition of a morningstar differs from the D&D Definition. It's more akin to a heavy flail than anything.

Don't blame Bleach for that one, besides other systems use 'morningstar' to refer to flails.

daggaz
2009-09-07, 02:00 AM
I like this one- I might steal the idea. A smuggling group hires a necromancer to create zombified rats. The vials would be made out of the worthless black onyx 'shell' left over after the rat zombiefication process, so if they were ever attacked or caught in traps the shattered vials would appear to be remains from the necromantic ritual and no smuggling would be suspected. :D
anyways:
Create distractions- people get a minor penalty to Listen checks because of the skittering scratchy sounds.
(Un)living shield- either a small bonus to AC against ranged attacks, or perhaps have them cover the PC's face so he can pretend to be some sort of Skeletal Rat That Walks.

Except of course, that the idea of smuggling is to NOT attract attention. Doing it with a horde of animated dead rats will promptly attract the attention of every single newbie adventuring group within a thousand MMORPG's (hey isnt a parsec a unit of distance? -shut up, kid) who will do what any adventurers would do when exposed to the undead.

Promptly kill them and loot the bodies. Smuggling operation not only exposed, but busted wide open and your loot has been stolen.

Olo Demonsbane
2009-09-07, 02:25 AM
Whenever you run into mold or slime or anything like that, have your rats entirely coat themselves in it, assuming they're immune. Now you have 96 attacks that do constitution damage each turn :smallamused:

Myou
2009-09-07, 04:25 AM
Nope, I saw it, just didn't see anything about a Rat Morning Star Zanpakuto mentioned anywhere in it, but it was your post that made me determined to find the link. :)

Damn, too subtle. xD

Poil
2009-09-07, 04:41 AM
You could dress them up in tiny black robes and give them tiny scythes to wield.

Leeham
2009-09-07, 05:14 AM
Shoes for the less well off.

lord_khaine
2009-09-07, 05:45 AM
hire out your service as a undead rat piper, to help people with their sudden and unexpectet plague of undead rats.

Cieyrin
2009-09-07, 10:43 AM
Don't blame Bleach for that one, besides other systems use 'morningstar' to refer to flails.

Okay, we'll blame VG Cats. :smalltongue:


Shoes for the less well off.

Ouch, I'd rather go bare foot then use a dead rat as a shoe. That just sounds painful.:smalleek:

Yora
2009-09-07, 11:10 AM
But it's almost like fluffy pink bunny slippers.

Dewey
2009-09-07, 11:16 AM
You could dress them up in tiny black robes and give them tiny scythes to wield.
seconded, thirded, and fourthed.

Cieyrin
2009-09-07, 11:29 AM
But it's almost like fluffy pink bunny slippers.

But they're skeletal rats, not zombie rats! Who would want to wear something liable to bite at your toes while you're wearing them?!? They'd probably break pretty fast, too, just under the impact of you walking on them and i don't need rat vertebrae being forced into the soles of my feet, thanks.

Zeta Kai
2009-09-07, 11:32 AM
But they're skeletal rats, not zombie rats! Who would want to wear something liable to bite at your toes while you're wearing them?!? They'd probably break pretty fast, too, just under the impact of you walking on them and i don't need rat vertebrae being forced into the soles of my feet, thanks.

Well, if you have a lot of dead rats, you could make an Ephemera Swarm from Monster Manual III.

Tyndmyr
2009-09-07, 11:34 AM
Need to set off that pressure plate? Dead rat!

Run out of bullets for your sling? Dead rat!

Forget a child's birthday present? Dead rat!

Carden
2009-09-07, 11:45 AM
Remember, if in the wilderness, you can always have them gather certain plants, berries, and small animals for you to feast on. A swarm of 96 searches a lot better than a party of 4.

If you are low on cash in the middle of the night, send them to some banks or other types of establishments. 96 cp/sp/gp/pp per trip, so long as they remain out of sight, more if you can talk your DM into letting you hide coins in their little skeletal bodies. This could also be used to steal the actual items you needed, but they'd have to make a team effort for most of those.

Always have a few run in ahead of you into towns the first time you visit. Make them go into nice looking inns. Be sure to arrive quickly, but not TOO quickly, after that. Free room and board, not to mention being labeled the town hero.

Oh, and you should make them little rat costumes. That way, if they're ever noticed, they would have to be caught before they could be determined to be undead. People are used to seeing rats. People are NOT used to seeing skeletons of rats running about. Oh, and this would really help with my stealing idea.

GrassyGnoll
2009-09-07, 01:14 PM
I'm curious as to how many of the puppet suggestions have been inspired by the Flapjack episode of similar utilization.

Turn it into an undead FIGHTING MACHINE!

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_XIhyvgIewTU/RlU1Yc8sM2I/AAAAAAAAAR8/BYnvxdin-fI/HampsterMachine.jpg