Doomriders: A Campaign Journal

[Doppelganger]

Are you SURE you want to be encouraging this?

Of course we do. It's activity after all.

Tsk Tsk, Fayd. On the other hand this is a GREAT thread.

P.S. try highliting it.:smallwink:
-Pixie

[Morchana]

Well, then Flabort, Private Message me. I am entirely too curious for my own good. :smallamused:

And I am really hard to shock. So don't worry about that.

[Volkov]

Have you done cocaine yet? Wait, thats the wrong doomrider isn't it?

[Morchana]

No, Morchana has not done Cocaine. However, I don't think Fluffy would be particularly averse to the idea. . .

I really hope none of the Doomriders are on cocaine-- that would be a terrible battle! Please do not give Tam any ideas. :smalleek:

[Tam_OConnor]

http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/7111/doomrider2.jpg

Far, far too late.

[RdMarquis]

I'd laugh, but that's pretty awesome, in a psychotic way.

[Morchana]

So. . .

There will a new chapter soon, we promise! We are going to sit on Cade and make him finish editing things.

Believe me, however, it will be worth the wait! :smallbiggrin:

[Cade Rentyr]

So. . .

There will a new chapter soon, we promise! We are going to sit on Cade and make him finish editing things.

Believe me, however, it will be worth the wait! :smallbiggrin:

-_- (sweatdrop)

[Fayd]

Chapter 18: You Just Never Gnoll, Do You? Or: Potluck! Iron Chef Fluffy!


We start the session asleep, Cade in one room, and the three ladies in the other. Fluffy is still passed out at the Red Bill next to Thezzick. I am deeply asleep in the keep of the Grand Duke. We all roll Observation to see if we spot anything. I notice a regular clanking outside my door from the knight patrols and get back to sleep easily. Fluffy is sleeping soundly. Cade does not wake up.

The ladies, and all three of them, wake up at the sound of the floorboard outside their door creaking… and not uncreaking. Morchana draws a dagger, Lossëlen readies her bow, both as stealthily as they can. Morchana sneaks over to the door and notices a mist rolling in underneath the door. It’s very cold on her bare feet. :smalleek: Keito readies a bow, hurries over to the window and opens it.

The only person in the party with mana is Keito. (This is if we don’t count Morchana, who has no spells that would have any bearing on the situation at hand anyway.) That said, Keito’s WIS damage from the alcohol has worn off, so she can cast. Cade is still asleep. None of the ladies are our front-line fighters. We’re not in good shape for a rumble, and we’re all reasonably sure that one heckuva fight is making a STR check to knock down our door.
Morchana notices that the hinges are beginning to ice over, and they get in position to ambush the… thing.

Suddenly, the sound of rending metal fills the room and the Icy Gnoll is standing in the doorway, Icebrand (the ice-spear) pointed into the room. Readied actions go off, and both of Keito’s and Lossëlen’s arrows bounce off of the ice covering the creature. (Note: This does not imply DR. The current iteration of the system uses something called Class AC, and we’re guessing the Gnoll has a LOT of that) Keito and Losselen continue to try to shoot the gnoll, with little success. Morchana eventually gives up on waiting for the gnoll to come into the room so she will not have a penalty for striking around a corner, and eventually gives up. She tries to stab the gnoll, and successfully stabs the doorframe. Luckily, she rolls well enough on stealth that the gnoll doesn’t quite notice, so she hides behind the door frame again.

By this point, Ceito has shooed Losselen to the window, and Losselen is standing on the bed, ready to fly away if need be. Morchana tries to sneak attack the gnoll again, but she can’t quite pierce the gnoll’s skin with her dagger. It’s like trying to stab ice. In fact, an ice pick would probably work better. She doesn’t even manage to distract him from whatever he is beginning to cast. :smallfrown:

Meanwhile, Cade jerks awake at the sound of rending metal and snatches up the Weeping Blade. He looks out the window and sees Losselen flying outside it, trying to get his attention. He shoos her off, telling her to go get help, and rushes out of his room-- “(Mild Oath)!” He runs down the hall and yells at him with a CON check of 22. Simultaneously, Keito slams an acid-damage ballista-bolt-shaped spell squarely into his chest. That gnoll’s concentration is WRECKED. Morchana tried to slip out the door to flank him with Cade, but can’t get past his observation. She tries to stab him again anyway but just can’t seem to land a hit, and gains 5 damage from his newly activated cold aura for her trouble. Not good. Cade rolls very well on his Acrobatics to try and sidle past to flanking position himself, but the gnoll rolls even better. Weeping Blade slash, whiff, the paladin takes cold damage himself.

The gnoll takes a stab at Cade, doing considerable damage --the paladin didn’t have time to put on any armor. Morchana tries to flank again, and instead merely gains another 5 damage from the cold aura. Cade takes another slash and falls back out of range to use the Blade’s only quick-cast heal. He lands his attack this time but still fails to damage the frozen beasty, and his heal is a single digit…

Keito finishes casting; her shadow glides across the room and tries to land a spell-charged touch attack. Yes. You read that correctly --our priestess has a living shadow for a familiar.

Unfortunately the shadow’s aim is off, and the gnoll evades it. Cold damage all around, except to the shadow, whose Incorporeal trait lets it evade the damage. Morchana tries one last futile time to stab the gnoll, decides she is getting too cold, and tries to move away. The gnoll takes a swing at her and Spell Channels, flinging her across the room with a blast of cold. This, combined with the cold aura, knocks Morchana into negative hit points, so she rolls under the bed and hides, crying in pain. About this time, Losselen flutters by the window, trying to draw the gnoll’s attention. Keito frantically waves her off, but it’s too late; the incredibly not-tanky priestess scrambles out of the way as her shadow makes a last failed attempt to deliver her spell, before the gnoll charges through the room, blows out the wall and flies off after Losselen. (Yes. It flies. On scaly, dragon-esque wings.) Cade, having no luck with close combat, has rushed to his room and scooped up his shortbow. He hears the crash and scrambles to the other room, taking a hasty potshot from the massively-expanded window. Amazingly, the arrow hits and lodges. The damage roll was low, so the gnoll doesn’t even flinch, but the important fact is that the minimal damage was unreduced. Keito tries to bind its wings with Life magic, but this also fails. Losselen and the gnoll quickly pass out of range.

Keito heals Cade of the rest of his cold damage, and Cade runs back to his room to get his scale mail. Out of the corner of her eye, Keito sees a badly shaking hand reach up from under the bed and pull a blanket off and under the bed. Satisfied that the gnoll is gone for the moment, Keito heals Morchana of most of her cold damage and follows the gnoll out the window, flowing down the wall just like a shadow.

Meanwhile, Losselen has been flying around, shrieking and shouting for help, and failing to wake any guards --or at least produce any from their guard house. The gnoll close on her tail, she zips over the city gates.
Back at the inn, Cade starts to put on his scale mail and run after the gnoll, with the mail over his head. He makes it out of the inn, through the winding streets to the gate (several hundred feet) in one six-second round.
He yells at the gatehouse to open the gates as he furiously tries to fasten down his armor. A very tired-sounding guard calls back to wait ‘till morning like a sane person. Incensed, Cade bellows back, ”Did you not see the icy monster sweeping through the city skies?! Look outside your gates!!”

“Okay, okay… (mumble mum--)uuaaAAHWHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?”

Meanwhile, Morchana had briefly considered running after Cade and helping him to get his armor on, but realized two things; first, she would only slow him down; secondly, she realizes is wearing only a sheer nightgown, elvish undies, and all of her daggers. She decides instead to get dressed, and stays behind. The racket has finally woken the denizens of the inn, and a clamor of concerned and curious voices is on the rise, though there is a noticeable lack of male voices. (coughPriestscough) Seeing no way to help the battle further (or even rejoin it) Morchana wishes her friend safe and starts to get dressed.

Fluffy is awakened by “Sherbet’s” (Lossëlen - she’s sweet and cold) screaming, and he stumps out of the Red Bill, armed with the Tentacle Sword to get ready to fight… well, anything really. Lossëlen spots him and zips through the doorway behind him. Thezzick is still lying against the bar, and probably won’t wake up until… A while. Let’s go with ‘a while’.

Fluffy opens up by activating the Tentacle Sword’s ability in mid air, creating a floating field of green tentacles that grab and slow the gnoll’s movement. Lossëlen aims for his wings but sadly misses. Fluffy attacks and crits… and actually damages the gnoll! Does a fair bit of damage and is splattered with what looks like anti-freeze, if Fluffy knew what that was. The gnoll (who seems to be rather baffled that it’s taken such an injury) strikes back with a breath weapon that deals 7d6 damage. :smalleek: Lossëlen even takes damage because a portion of the breath weapon deals piercing damage instead of straight cold. She hides in the bar, and Fluffy continues to fight.
Meanwhile the gates remained closed before the paladin; the gate guard is apparently cowering at his post. Reaching deep for an Intimidate roll, Cade roars, ”OPEN THE (expletive) GATES!!!” There’s the sound of something like a whimper, and the gates grind --very slowly-- open.
Back at the battle, the gnoll has been trying to gain altitude, so Fluffy makes a jump check and a downward bull rush to force the gnoll back down to where Fluffy can hit him. The gnoll uses his breath weapon again, and is thankfully dealing low damage. Fluffy hits hard again, and the gnoll decides that this is NOT worth it right now, and begins to fly off.

When he gets thirty feet out, Fluffy takes the metal cooking pot out of his pack (Which he IS carrying around, and this IS the same pot that Morchana made the Doomriders’ poison in) and chucks it at the gnoll. The iron pot shatters against the base of the gnoll’s skull, dealing another chunk of damage.

The Gnoll screams something as he flies off, and Keito, using a language check, deciphers precisely WHAT the gnoll was screaming. It goes a little something like this:

“EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE FRACKING LAND WHALES! EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE!”

Since the gnoll passes over the city toward the bay for its escape, Keito hears him and responds by yelling something back in response with a language check (as she doesn’t actually know Howl) that she is fairly sure is offensive.

Cade rushes into the Red Bill to make sure that everyone is ok, gingerly stepping over icicles embedded in the floor. Lossëlen greets him, and informs him, “I found your uncle.” Cade jerks at the sight, and hurries back to the inn with her, and there performs a little first aid to help with the icicle puncture wounds. Unfortunately, he doesn’t roll well on the heal check and his hand slips a little putting on the bandages. He is terribly, terribly embarrassed.
Back at the inn, about the time Morchana finishes getting dressed, some of the workers have come up to her room, wondering what has happened. She asks that the management of the inn come up, and indignantly rounds on them: ”Why did you let such an intruder in? Is it really safe to stay here? How could you let such a thing happen?!?” They beg her not to ruin them, and give her a new room for free and free food for the entire party for the rest of our stay. :smallbiggrin:

Fluffy takes “Fun Guy” (Thezzick) back to St. Dain’s Rest with him, and on the way, sings a traditional orcish lullaby. With an 18 on his perform check. Our group is, apparently, inherently musical. This is what Fluffy sang: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpkFr8Tna10&feature=related Cade and Losselen have noticed him following them with his burden; Cade grimaces but doesn’t object. Fluffy deposits Thezzick on the floor of his room (as Fluffy uses both of the beds in his room) and goes to sleep.

In the morning, I have breakfast with the Grand Duke and Duchess. Bland porridge, and I find out that the bland diet has been proscribed by their “doctors” for their health. I’m suspicious. Very suspicious. A plan is percolating in my prodigious mind. We’ll get to it next session. Probably.
I head back to the inn right after the party finishes breakfast (except for Fluffy) and we go into one of our rooms. I cast a magic circle against sound in the room and we discuss our recent discoveries. Morchana tells us what she found out, I mention that I believe the Grand Duke and Duchess are being poisoned, and Cade mentions his advancements on the case with the apparent Thieves’ Guild… and that he has unlimited access to the treasury and the armory. Now, with major discoveries out of the way, we plan. I am sent to go assess and purchase mercs. Morchana and Lossëlen are sent to survey the armory and investigate the suspicious warehouse on the docks. Cade finishes enchanting and then is going to help me talk to Hiram/Talesin/whoever else (Which turns out to be a bust. He left town that day, early in the morning), as well as take care of his other business.

As I leave to go to the Sellsword Circle… I decide to take Fluffy with me. You would think a guy with 20 INT would learn huh? I never think that it’ll go as badly as it does. Before I can speak and get any information, Fluffy decides to “test” the mercs, and tosses one of them. I only barely avoid getting skewered, and we negotiate WITHOUT the ogre. I agree to their fee and will pay for provisioning them when our supplies can’t do that anyway.
Fluffy, in case you were wondering, decided to waste the rest of the day wandering the city streets, taking 20 on Intimidate checks on anyone he comes across. The guards notice him very quickly but also remember him very clearly; they breathe heavy sighs but leave him be --as long as he isn’t hurting anyone he’s just not worth the trouble.

Morchana gets a supply list and short tour of the armory. In addition to a bunch of nice, if mundane, gear, we have access to the Grand Duke’s personal armory. All of these items are powerful and storied. We find a Bronze Masterwork +2 Breastplate, a bow, a banner made of dragonscale, a bow, a javelin, a book, a shield that has been broken in two, and a pair of fuzzy slippers.

The bow is called Winterleaf, and if dealing non-leathal damage, gets to deal an extra d6 and there’s no penalty for trying to deal said non-lethal damage. The arrow, attached to it by a silk ribbon, is an Orcwoe arrow. Fired in an arc, the arrow, at the peak of its flight, will then turn into a deadly rain, hitting every orc in a large area. And dealing 20 bonus damage to each one.
The Banner is made from the hide of the dragon Malconflagrant. When a specific code phrase (which is, by the way, a rather indiscrete reference to the woman who killed Mal) is yelled, the dragon roars again, scaring enemies in a huge range.

The javelin, simply called the Blue Pine Javelin, when thrown, turns into a bolt of lightning during flight. Interesting. The book is a breeding table of the Shagya, an especially awesome race of horses bred in the nearby regions.

The fuzzy slippers are perhaps the most storied artifact in these halls. Made by St. Dain for his first wife, they somehow ended up on the feet of a succubus that St. Dain and his party fought (she was not wearing… much… besides the slippers) and were then reclaimed. After a time, they were given to St. Dain’s second wife. And then, somehow, they end up in the Ducal Armory, in the possession of the Grand Duke. They give Resist Cold 10, immunity to natural cold effects, and the ability to never slip on ice when worn. However, you cannot maintain your dignity: They cannot be worn under other shoes or boots.

Amongst the mundane items, there is a quarterstaff that has some small magics in it. When a codeword is spoken, it begins to attack the speaker of the phrase in a predictable pattern. Presumably, it is used for physical training.

We break here for the week as it is getting late.

[Mr White]

Who cares about dignity when it protects you from the monster you're fighting. So who calls dibs?

P.S. they're pink, right? With bunny ears and such?

[MountainKing]

Whatever you do, do NOT knock on wearing fluffy slippers into battle. I've watched a party mage defeat lone ninja and *giants* in single, hand to hand combat; my old group and I swear by the wearing of fuzzy slippers. We think the dice gods love them. :smallbiggrin:

[RdMarquis]

Fuzzy slippers that protect against cold. :smallsmile: That's pretty ironic, considering they would have been perfectly suited to the Gnoll situation. And they sound like something you would buy off a late night infomercial.

"These do much, much more than protect your feet from that cold floor..."

[Fayd]

They're made from a cave bear that St. Dain killed himself... so they're brown. Comfy, but brown.

[flabort]

Well, brown is not as embaressing as pink or baby blue. actually, I think brown fuzzy slippers would look quite dignifying. unless they have ears and glass eyes to look like rabbits.

[Fayd]

Chapter 19: Hey Big Spender!


We pick up in the middle of the day with Cade marching next door and squatting down in front of his uncle.

O_O

I know, I know, don’t look at me like that. As Cade himself put it, his secret’s already blown because of his sister and we’re marching off to a war against vast orcish hordes; at this point it would be beyond stupid not to bring Thezzick.

“Good morning, Uncle,” he says, despite the fact it’s now around one in the afternoon. Thezzick just mumbles in his sleep. Cade patiently moves a little closer and tugs the blanket from the older man’s face (eliciting an indistinct attempt at swearing) and repeats himself a little louder.

Trying valiantly to block out the light, Thezzick growls irritably at Cade to fetch him something to drink. Cade shrugs and moves to comply, when realization hits Thezzick like Fluffy’s fist. “CADE! YOU STAY RIGHT THERE!” he roars, scrabbling across the floor and seizing his nephew by the ankle. The paladin quickly assures him that he’s not going to run anymore. “I should hope so!” declares Thezzick hotly. “We’ve been all over this blasted continent looking for you!” Then he frowns. “Wait, so why is it you finding me instead of me finding you?”

“Well,” Cade sighs, “there’s a war on, and at the moment I’m neck-deep in it. Feel like tagging along and putting down an orcish invasion with me?”

Thezzick’s eyes begin to gleam, a toothy grin splitting his face.

“Might also be a dragon lurking about somewhere,” Cade observes casually.

For a moment it looks as if the grizzled warrior’s heart has stopped. A single tear slinks down his cheek, and without warning he catches Cade in a joyous bear hug. “You’ve brought me a war AND a dragon!!!” he shouts, as if it were the greatest birthday gift ever. (Seriously, he’s practically blubbering, folks.)

Then suddenly he drops his nephew and eyes him suspiciously. “You’re coming back with us after all this, aren’t you?”

“I should think so,” replies Cade evasively.

“SPLENDID!” A clap on the shoulder sends our paladin reeling.

Once he’s recovered, he chuckles. “It really has been a long time, hasn’t it Uncle? Say, do you know where to look for Aethan, Torin or Father?” Thezzick informs him to the best he knows, confirming and refining what we already know. Cade smirks. “I’ll send them all a message, see if we can make it a family outing like the old days. Remember those bandits at Teuton Field?”
Thezzick barks a hearty laugh. “Ah yes, good times.”

“Maybe we can have another one of Mia’s picnics afterward.”

Both men’s mouths water. Thezzick glances about the room and finally seems to realize that he’s not in his usual lodging. “I’ll go get Squisher! Where and when do we meet?”

Cade barely has time to tell him ‘in front of the inn tomorrow morning’ before Thezzick is out the door, practically skipping down the street in naught but his wrestling shorts, oblivious to all the strange looks he’s attracting. The paladin shakes his head with an amused smirk and sets about sending those messages, through Divine Archons of Turmlar, the god of knights his family serves.

Now, Torin is Cade’s younger brother and the player’s backup character in case the current Rentyr happens to die, so hopefully we’ll never meet him. Aethan is the eldest, and his player has summarily described him as ‘Batman-level detective. Not a paladin, because he doesn’t need Detect Evil.’ So, the message to him is actually requesting that he come to Tiborem and lurk about in the shadows, watching Gabraal and watching out for the Grand Duke. Aaron and Helen, the brothers’ parents, are just generally summoned to the field, though they are a significant distance away at the moment. (For the record though, Aaron is hinted to be even more intimidating --in a very different way-- than his brother Thezzick, though the two of them work perfectly together…)

Meanwhile, I’ve sent off two messages earlier today and their responses have returned. (Planar Messengers ROCK!) I sent a message to my master at the Gemstone Towers, Martin. He is bringing his class of Battlemages (FIELD TRIP!) and visiting his friends at the Burning Star Academy (founded by another of the heroes from the Great Orcish Invasion of 291, Csilla, who liked fire and shape-shifting into dragons and shape-shifting other people into dragons) to gather some more men. Yay for more firepower!

The other letter went to Kara, friend of mine from the Sapphire Tower (dedicated to healing and protection) asking if she could come down to Tiborem to take care of the Grand Duke and Duchess, as we are now certain that they are being poisoned. I warn her to be VERY careful around Gabraal and Erin, and tell her to trust a man named Aethan Rentyr if she meets him.

We spend the rest of the day shopping. Morchana goes to acquire daggers (two of them masterwork), shuriken, and some pretty nasty poisons from Agatha (including a particularly rough one called “Dragon’s Bile” which clots the blood, causing the arteries to explode from the increased blood pressure) all at the expense of the national treasury. Morchana now has one dagger on each calf, one on each thigh, one on each arm, two on each hip, one down her corset, one in her hair, and six throwing daggers in her belt, as well as a veritable bandolier of shuriken. She also picks up a pretty little ornamental dagger for eating and parties. Apparently she needs a knife she can remember not to poison.

Lossëlen flies around town gathering seeds to work her plant magics with. She ends up with a set of vegetable seeds, some medicinal herb seeds, and even some nice fruit seeds from a local vineyard.

Fluffy asks for some money from the treasury from me. When I ask him what he wants it for, he tilts his head in confusion and replies, “Money. Fluffy see other people have money, and Fluffy want some too.” Facepalm.

“Fluffy, we’ll buy you food instead—okay?” Fluffy agrees with his usual grin.

Cade doesn’t draw much, just enough for a longbow and maybe some rations. We are not certain of Keito's purchases or activities, but since when is that news?

I meanwhile go to the jewelry and metalworking part of the merchant district to get some material components to fuel my War Magic. First stop: Silversmith. I have them work as quickly as they can (a premium rate, but I’m on the country’s budget) and they create 60 small silver fish amulets for me. They look like that common fish-outline thing with the hole in the middle. This amulet is used to feed a War Magic called Feed the Horde, which will feed 10 times my Magic Power Modifier (MPM, which is Caster Level plus Power Stat Mod, which, for me is CHA) by transmuting the silver into fish and the space between into bread, and then doing some fun spatial trick to distribute the food to the army. Takes 10 minutes to do.

For my next trick, I somehow find a dwarf. I tell him that I’m more interested in the materials used to make the jewelry than the items themselves, and I ask for red gold and copper wire. The red-gold creates a massive fireball, which has been described to me as “A thermonuclear detonation without the radiation problems.” The copper wire creates a massive lightning bolt, which is considerably closer to my style anyway. There isn’t much red gold, and even the tiara and bracelet set he has made of it is not enough for a single casting. That and it costs FAR too much (half of a single über-fireball costs as much as 60 castings of Feed the Horde), but the copper, which creates a massive line of lightning to destroy my foes, is far more reasonable, at 80 drachmae for 2 casts. Besides, lightning is more my style anyway.

With our shopping completed (and the national treasury agents sobbing “We don’t have to use a shovel anymore!” and “I can see the floor again!”) we go back to the inn and sleep. I put a ward around the building which will wake us up if anything cold-subtyped crosses the line (so we’re safe, as Lossëlen is already inside of it)

During the night, as usual, “Roll Observations” and we roll high… to which, we are told “The night passes uneventfully.” Upon arising, we have breakfast and pick up our new-forged weapons (Fluffy’s Large Sized-Masterwork +1 Greataxe and a Masterwork +1 Saber for Cade) and pick up our choices from the armory.

I grab the Dragonscale Standard, the training quarterstaff (which I WILL find a use for) the Bluepine Javelin in addition to some minor things, like a buckler and a sling. When I grab the Javelin, I notice that it feels like I have another arm attached perpendicularly to the arm that’s holding it. NOT AGAIN! Look closer, and… yup. Emerald Tower make. It appears that Gunther paid 2 bribes with weapons made from me, one to the Grand Duke himself and one to the Captain of the Guard. I really hope there aren’t more of these… but now I have a new mission: to track down the other implements made with my soul.

Cade gets the Ducal armor and the Fuzzy Slippers, as well as the Orcripper Saber, a couple spare throwing spears, a couple other supplies, and curiously enough a set of horse armor :smallconfused: while Lossëlen takes the Winterleaf Bow and single Orcwoe arrow.

Morchana takes a masterwork saber and a crossbow and a bundle of bolts—all of which she plans to poison—yes, even the saber. Queen of blades. :smallbiggrin:

On the way out of town, we notice a HUGE commotion over by the stable area. There is a huge herd of horses, led by none other than Zoltan. (Mysterious horse druid, think waaaaay back toward the third or fourth chapter.) We had… forgotten… to stable our original horses, and as such, they are gone, probably requisitioned by Andris during his departure. We apologize profusely, and basically do everything we can to appease him. He gives us a set of new horses (except for Fluffy, whom no horse can ever possibly bear anymore). He lets us know that he has been tracking us with another of the magic lucky coins (apparently they are all connected) and he gives it to us, bringing our total up to 25. He cautions us that this means he can no longer keep tabs on us, but anyone else with a piece of the horde can do so… :smalleek:

He also tells me that there’s a strange weather pattern going on, and it isn’t my doing. “The wind is too cold from the North, too hot from the South, too gentle from the West, and too fierce from the East.”

Well. That was cryptic.

Fluffy runs alongside us, keeping up with the horses, for 4 days until we reach River’s Bend. Along the way, we make a short stop at the Longpipes, which has been fortified MORE and now is full of refugees. They say that their supplies will last for the forseeable future, and we HAVE to get to River’s Bend within the day, so we cannot stay. About this time, unfortunately, Thezzick decides to leave us to go dragonhunting. He gives us a lock of his hair so we can find him if we need to.

Arriving at River’s Bend that evening, we proceed directly to the Keep, where Baronet Connaught is… sitting out the war, stuck behind a desk doing paperwork. Again. I pity the poor lad. He’s exceedingly glad to see us (“FINALLY! Something to do!!!”) and we discuss strategy for the upcoming battle, deploy our troops, and begin to move out. We’ve decided to countersiege the countersiege to Captain Andris’ countersiege to the siege of Fort Connaught. Confusing? I thought so.

Our troops: 2 units of Spear Militia, 2 units of Archer Militia, 1 units of Ducal Knights, and the Blue Arms. We decide to leave one company of spearmen at the keep with the Baronet, who is none too happy about having to stay behind—again. However, he has to, because the peasants are on the brink of revolt. Morchana, being their heroine, (slayer of the corrupt noble Aralt the Younger) goes out to the courtyard and gives the peasants a pep talk about how the great nobility love them and are fighting to protect them, so they can be free to work the land, farm, and have children. They reluctantly agree, and disperse to their farms. Baronet Connaught still really wants to come along, but we really can’t take him—we need him to hold River’s Bend. Morchana goes to visit him later in the evening and somehow appeases him, telling him to wait there and see if he can’t raise more militia and be ready to come to our aid if we send a message. Other things ostensibly happen, as he doesn’t protest when we leave him the next morning.


With this, I'm almost caught up. One more chapter remains and I will be! MWHAHAHA!

[AtwasAwamps]

Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do with this post, Fayd? How am I supposed to create ridiculous shipping pairings in a post mainly about shopping, huh? You even talk about friggin’ Morchana’s thighs and calves and what-not and leave me no opportunities for joking about them with ridiculous puns.

You are inconsiderate and we are no longer BFFs 4 Lyfe.

My new shipping pair (out of spite):

Ducal Knights + Blue Arms/Fayd. Dogpile the outsider, boys.

PS: I love the idea that Morchana is this insanely heavily armed seductress.

“Let me slip into something more comfortable…”

CLANKCLANKDINKCLANGCLATTERCLATTERTHUNKCLANK

[Morchana]

Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do with this post, Fayd? How am I supposed to create ridiculous shipping pairings in a post mainly about shopping, huh? You even talk about friggin’ Morchana’s thighs and calves and what-not and leave me no opportunities for joking about them with ridiculous puns.

:smallbiggrin: That's our job!


PS: I love the idea that Morchana is this insanely heavily armed seductress.

“Let me slip into something more comfortable…”

CLANKCLANKDINKCLANGCLATTERCLATTERTHUNKCLANK

Well, this IS battle-mode, after all. I suppose it bears noting that at this point, Morchana is no longer wearing the slinky black dress and corset, but has instead switched to a short tunic, leggings, leather jerkin (all in black), chainmaile, and what-not. All of her blades are now completely visible, save for the one down the front of her shirt, and the one in her hair.

But don't worry-- this is just a passing phase. :smallwink:

[AtwasAwamps]

But don't worry-- this is just a passing phase. :smallwink:

That's a pity. I like the "I am attractive and will probably stab you" style. Keep a guy on his toes.

"Do you come here often OH GOD MY EYES SHE POISONED MY EYES WITH A HAIRCLIP!"

"Hey baby, nice aaaaaaaamigodnononononono..."

[RdMarquis]

Speaking of poison, I winced when I read the description of the dragon's bile. Exploding arteries? I wouldn't wish that that on someone I hated. :smalleek: Ew.

[Morchana]

Speaking of poison, I winced when I read the description of the dragon's bile. Exploding arteries? I wouldn't wish that that on someone I hated. :smalleek: Ew.

It's probably a quicker and less painful way to go than the other poison I picked up-- Orcsblood. It was a lower DC, but it's like getting blood poisoning.

[Eldariel]

I think Morchana is an excellent femme fatale. As such, her exploits are quite intriguing to follow. Also, that's the reason I was expressing disappointment in the lack of body count before :smallwink:


Speaking of poison, I winced when I read the description of the dragon's bile. Exploding arteries? I wouldn't wish that that on someone I hated. :smalleek: Ew.

It's an unfortunate fact that graphic descriptions of any death tend to be quite repulsive. For example:
"My blade cut through his chest, puncturing his left lung with bone splinters, causing blood to flow in and his breath turning into rattle as he was gasping for air, to no avail. His heart rate increases as his brains no longer gain oxygen, and life escapes him with last look of agony wrung on his face."

All you did was stab the guy with a sword.

Bleh; that is most likely quite a good death compared to death by sword or some of the really vile deaths like drowning.

[Morchana]

I think Morchana is an excellent femme fatale. As such, her exploits are quite intriguing to follow. Also, that's the reason I was expressing disappointment in the lack of body count before :smallwink:

Well, part of that lack of body count has been for two reasons: 1) The Paladin would kill me if I killed someone he didn't want dead. 2) I have only had contracts to get information, not kill. I don't work for free!

[Eldariel]

Well, part of that lack of body count has been for two reasons: 1) The Paladin would kill me if I killed someone he didn't want dead. 2) I have only had contracts to get information, not kill. I don't work for free!

Yeah, this was covered already before, I believe. People needn't die if it gains you nothing. But it's still more interesting when...things happen :smallwink: I mean, we were given quite the introduction, given your exploits with certain Jr.

[Morchana]

So it wasn't interesting when I seduced the most powerful man in the land, gained all of his state secrets, and gave him a forgetfulness potion, thereby committing high treason? (And then had to avoid a possibly vengeful girlfriend for the rest of the time we were in town!) :smallconfused:

[Alex112524]

So it wasn't interesting when I seduced the most powerful man in the land, gained all of his state secrets, and gave him a forgetfulness potion, thereby committing high treason? (And then had to avoid a possibly vengeful girlfriend for the rest of the time we were in town!) :smallconfused:

No, that kind of thing is simply expected of you.

[Morchana]

So, to do something unexpected and interesting, what would I have to do? Take out half of an enemy force by myself-- wait, already did that. . .

Oh, I know. I would have to do something "good", like save a child from a burning building or take an oath of chastity. Yeah, like that will ever happen. . . :smallamused:

[Thomo]

Oh, I know. I would have to do something "good", like save a child from a burning building or take an oath of chastity. Yeah, like that will ever happen. . . :smallamused:

Personally, I'd find it more amusing if you saved a building from burning orphans (heh, something one of my dubiously aligned characters once did) especially seeing as it would keep in with the current theme of city beatification and reconstruction - moreso if it was a particularly noteworthy one.

And to stem the cries of murderous evil - orphans can be replaced with whatever small statured, murderous critters you see fit - parading as orphans.

[Eldariel]

So it wasn't interesting when I seduced the most powerful man in the land, gained all of his state secrets, and gave him a forgetfulness potion, thereby committing high treason? (And then had to avoid a possibly vengeful girlfriend for the rest of the time we were in town!) :smallconfused:

I disagree with Alex; that was highly interesting. So was Gab still being alive though - I think you pulled that off rather well. Surprise and...umm...intrigue is the word, I think.

[Fayd]

Well, surprise or not, next chapter certainly has a fair amount of surprises. It's about halfway done, and will need editing, but this process should be fairly quick.

Also, consider the following deeply: Watermelon.

[AtwasAwamps]

[QUOTE=Morchana;8013193 take an oath of chastity. [/QUOTE]

If you take an oath of chastity, then...

...I will go read the board rules again. Pretty sure the intended sentence would break at least three of them...

[Morchana]

If you take an oath of chastity, then...

...I will go read the board rules again. Pretty sure the intended sentence would break at least three of them...

Don't worry. There is no chance I will ever do that. I mean, think about it! Morchana? Chaste? Only with a really good deception roll. . . :smallwink:

[AtwasAwamps]

Don't worry. There is no chance I will ever do that. I mean, think about it! Morchana? Chaste? Only with a really good deception roll. . . :smallwink:

The circumstance penalty on that would be ridiculous.

[Fayd]

Editing is all that remains! I WILL HAVE VICTORY!

[Morchana]

The circumstance penalty on that would be ridiculous.

Yes, but I have a +13 modifier. :smallbiggrin:

[Fayd]

Chapter 20: Lifting the Siege. Or: Hail to the Chief, Baby!

Earlier in the (IRL) week, we had discussed the military strategy we were going to take at the Battle for Fort Connaught, so things proceeded smoothly. We do reconnaissance as we approach and the Blue Arms, who ROCK, spot a camp of orc raiders (100 in number). We get into position quickly, and the Blue Arms and archers begin to rain a deadly hail upon them. They try to approach us, but are cut down by the archers before they can get within range to force the archers to retreat behind the spearmen. A total victory, no casualties. Fluffy however, cannot understand why “You hurting them!” and tosses a couple of the archers about in a near panic, but to no avail… He slowly plods out into the field of battle after it’s all done, sits down in the midst of his dead kinsmen and starts crying. Cade spends some time along the way to the Castle Connaught consoling Fluffy and preparing him to fight the Chieftain tomorrow. Fluffy eagerly agrees to fight the Chief if it means more Glowaxe will survive. (He also has no problem bullying about any of the OTHER tribes.)

The evening before the siege, Lossëlen makes me a bale of straw from seed using her plant magic. Along the way, I’d gathered 20 cow/bull horns with help from various people. Both of them are components for different War Magic effects. Specifically, giving some of our men Slash Resistance 2 and a huge wind spell to knock enemies flat.

The basic layout of the siege: There are 2 units of orc warriors and one unit of their elite, the berserkers, with their chieftain among the berserkers, arranged in front of the keep like \_/ (The \ and / are the warriors.) Andris and his forces had been pinned between two groups of orcs (his counterseige got counterseiged) but they have since punched through and joined Connaught in the keep.

Our forces are arranged with our archers in front of the spearmen (until such time as they need to retreat) with a force of mounted knights ready to sweep around and hit them from behind. We are with the knights, and intend to take down the chieftain. Reason being: Fluffy is of the Glowaxe, and has a right to challenge for rule. In the Glowaxe orcs, the right to rule is determined by who holds the titular axe. That’s really the only rule to the custom; if the chieftain loses the Glowaxe to an enemy army ganging up on him, the next orc to pick it up is the new chieftain. Thus, the current plan.

We have the Blue Arms sneak over and draw off one of the groups of warriors, while we fire on the main host with our archers. As they come charging at us, Andris and his men (and Mia Rentyr) sally out of the keep and cut down the second group of warriors. By themselves. The archers fire volley after volley into the host of berserkers, until they are close enough to force our archers to retreat. The Knights (and party) begin our ride around. Connaught’s Ducal Guard has taken the field as well, but aside from firing a couple of arbalest volleys at the Blue Arms’ targets they hover near the gate in reserve, in case things take a turn for the worst.

The orc berserkers charge headlong into the spear militia (who are, by the way, set against charge, meaning double damage) and 34 of our spearmen die straight out. :smalleek: Those berserkers rolled VERY well. Before there’s time for anything else our party/cavalry crash into the berserkers from behind, dealing heavy damage, while leaving room for us to get to the chieftain. The order is given, and the spear militiaman holding the Dragonscale banner activates it, screaming the activating phrase at the top of his lungs. Malconflagrant roars again, and the orc berserkers all break formation and run for the hills. The chieftain does not break, and we engage. The spearmen retreat, infinitely thankful that someone else is taking on this horror;

The orc Chieftain stands at 14 feet tall (taller than Fluffy) and is incredibly muscular. He is holding a massive glowing axe, presumably the Glowaxe. This… might not be as easy as we thought…

All of us fire SOMETHING ranged at him the first round, except Fluffy and me. All of them hit, except for Morchana’s shuriken. Lossëlen channels a cold spell, lands the shot with Winterleaf, dealing non-lethal damage and dealing DEX damage. Keito fires her arbalest, hitting the chieftain square in the back. Cade’s shot also connects solidly. The chieftain had spent his turn charging, so he didn’t get to move. I begin a summoning, while Fluffy charges forward himself to strike, doing so very well. Moments later, my summoning appears on the battlefield. I have called to the material plane an elemental from the plane of Plant… a Large sized and particularly vicious Watermelon Elemental!

What?

Regardless, the next round, Cade rushes in to hit the Chieftain with a Spell Channeled Smite Evil. His first Smiting of the campaign, in fact, which deals tremendous damage as the water from the Weeping Blade smashes into the Chieftain and sizzles --for near max damage, in fact, a whole 23 points of damage. (The actual sword stroke doesn’t manage to connect.) Morchana tries throwing shuriken again, which, while they hit, do not penetrate the great orc’s skin. Sadly, he also succeeds on his fort save, and is not poisoned. She also scrambles for the gap in the wave of orc berserkers fleeing past our group. Keito drops her arbalest and draws her pre-loaded crossbows (New York Style reload) and fires both of them at the beastman. Two weapon fighting is fun! Lossëlen uses Arrow Storm to get three shots in at the orc (one of which goes wide) dealing more incredible non-lethal damage. The orc chieftain, seeing two melee combatants, gives each of them a slash with the Glowaxe. “What’s your hit point total?” :smalleek:

When all was said and done, my War Magic buff sprung a straw training dummy out of the ether to take part of the blow, and Cade had 2 HP left. Out of 50. :smalleek: :smalleek: :smalleek: Fluffy had significantly more… remaining, but he is feeling the pain. Fluffy hits back, hard, and then my watermelon elemental claws at it with its leaves and vines. The bite attack sadly goes wide.

Next round, out of concern for Cade, Lossëlen creates a 10-foot tall ice wall between the Chieftain and the Paladin. However, Cade is getting OUT of there. He runs off quickly and uses the Weeping Blade’s innate heal spell quickcast to heal himself. With his standard action, Cade cast a binding spell on the Chieftain’s arms. Morchana, deciding that shuriken are not working, throws a poisoned dagger, which nicks the Chieftain, but again fails to poison. Keito throws out a heal onto Fluffy, and I hit the orc Chieftain with lightning from the heavens (which doesn’t hit until the end of the round)

The chieftain, arms caught in golden mystical chains, trips Fluffy and steps over him to come at the rest of the party. Fluffy gets up and takes another swing at the chieftain dealing decent damage. My watermelon elemental takes a massive bite into the Chieftain with its sharp cellulose fangs, and clawing with its vine arms.

Morchana throws more shuriken, trying desperately to poison the brute, carefully staying out of range of the Glowaxe. Lossëlen creates a vine that tried to strangle the Chieftain, but only managed to reach his shins and hold him to that spot. Cade readies his short spear and hurls it charged with a Spell Channeled Smite Evil. It was a GLORIOUS hit. Keito hits the orc with an acid bolt… and by this point, my mana had run down to a point where I had entered the “Tired” status, and thus, my initiative dropped. The Chieftain got to move next. Fluffy is in BAD shape… but thankfully the watermelon elemental had bitten the Chieftain, causing him to split his two attacks, yelling “THE GLOWAXE IS MINE, PUNY ONE!!!” into Fluffy’s face with the swing. Watermelon chunks splatter the entire battlefield, and Fluffy is knocked down to 4 HP.

Fluffy wittily retorts with “FLUFFY GONNA EAT YOUR BALLS!” and a beautiful golf swing 66-damage critical. The Chieftain’s upper half bade a swift and sudden farewell to his lower half and took a long flight toward the horizon. (Failed to land in the green, unfortunately --Fluffy will have to take a another stroke. :smallamused: ) Everyone’s favorite barbarian takes the Glowaxe in his hands, and bellows his triumph.

The berserkers uniformly turn around and kneel down before their new Chieftain: Cheiftain Fluffy the Terrible! We quickly signal our knights to kindly not execute our new recruits. Observation checks all around show that there is a troop of orcish raiders who, upon seeing their bisected boss’s upper half land next to them, decided that they were just going to go continue on their way toward home to await their new chief’s rites of passage.

Andris and his knights come forward to join us, and with them is Mia Rentyr, who runs up to Cade yelling “HI BIG BROTHER!!! How are you?!?”

“Right now I feel like walking into that keep, finding the first thing resembling a bed, and falling over.”

She flying tackle-hugs him, and heals him instantly. Nice.

Another observation check, and I notice that we are currently surrounded by 3 scouting parties of Doomriders. They look like they are just scouting though, and they’re running off to report. I inform the gathered commanders of our “friends” and we move the discussion inside.

Swift had been keeping on lookout duty during the battle. His reports mostly involved “OOH! SHINY!” and “MOVEMENT! Oh wait… that’s us… isn’t it?” and once “WATERMELON!” After the fight, I let him hunt. Midway through the meeting, I am informed “You are getting a feeling of intense curiosity coming from Swift. Do you encourage this?” I have Swift get me a more detailed picture before I get any other information, and spend the next part of the conversation communing with him and unable to input. I know all about the party’s current discussion topic with Andris and Connaught, but I can’t say anything. It is torturous.

Meanwhile, the others are trying to decide out next course of action. Andris and Connaught bicker for a while over whether or not to go help Aralt, and eventually it is decided, on Connaght’s insistence, to leave him to rot. We do hope that he lives a long, long life. It means the orcs aren’t coming for us. We don’t exactly want to face the Ghostdancers and undead.

So, our next question is “What to do with Gabraal?” Morchana fills in Andris and Connaught on the situation with Gabraal, the Duke, and the Duchess. Andris is really, really, really upset when he hears of all that has been going on, especially the bit where the Duchess is taking, albeit unknowingly, a contraceptive. “That’s just great!” he exclaims, and begins hitting his head on the wall. Andris wants to go arrest Gabraal, Connaught wants to just kill him, and in the end, we send Andris and Mia to go jail him.

During the course of the discussions, Connaught mentions artifacts from the previous war that did… something. A knowledge History check from someone other than me later, and we recall that the artifacts are 3 sets of 3 “monoliths” which, when activated with a pulse of holy energy will prevent any evil outsiders from staying within their area of effect. This is all a little too much to think about while we are so tired, so we finally decide to go back to River’s Bend and just discuss our next course of action on the way or when we get there.

Meanwhile, I finally get a clear view from Swift. I’m seeing a familiar face… it would be almost exactly the same, in fact, if there were two scars across his cheeks. Gabraal --the younger. There is… one small difference. Gabraal the younger has horns; Tiefling. Excellent. In fact, there is something deformed about every single one of his soldiers. Some have cadaverous hands, others have no lips… just a gaping hole in their flesh where their mouth should be. Swift is also feeling a… very strange… emotion: Attraction. To Gabraal. He and I are somewhat disturbed. An Incubus Tiefling, and one strong enough to work across (taxonomical) class, order, family, genus, species and gender boundaries.

That’s PROBABLY not good. Although those outsider-banishing monoliths are sounding more and more appealing…

I inform the group and the Grand Dutchery Elite (and Mia) of what I just saw, and things don’t look good.

We go to sleep, and I borrow Stormwrack from Andris for the night. Mostly, I want to see if there’s anything I can learn by having both weapons with my soul in them… as this looks like the last time I might have them all in one place again... for quite some time. Tam and I are going to take care of what is happening out of session, before next.

Also, when we get up in the morning, the sunrise behind us is rivaled by the brilliant sight before us, out the window. Specifically, about half the entire country is on fire.

Quoth the paladin, “Wow. That sucks.”

[RdMarquis]

A watermelon elemental? :smallbiggrin:

You summoned one of these to fight the orcs?
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/watermelonmonster.html (Old kung fu movies can get trippy sometimes.)

Kidding aside, this was an awesome entry. Fluffy getting the kill shot on the chieftain (while shouting a memorable battle cry) to claim his title was a definite highlight. I'm kinda glad that I'm having trouble sleeping tonight.

[Fayd]

Not exactly what I had in mind, but... nevertheless effective.

We are beginning to think that Fluffy's player has "Plot Luck." When the story calls for it, he will crit. No questions asked.

[MountainKing]

"Quoth the paladin: "Wow. That sucks."" is officially one of my new gaming phrases! :smallbiggrin: Keep up the awesome work you guys!

[Fayd]

"Quoth the paladin: "Wow. That sucks."" is officially one of my new gaming phrases! :smallbiggrin: Keep up the awesome work you guys!

Which, in and of itself, is a reference to SCS's campaign journals, which I highly recommend.

We game again tomorrow and I will try to get the chapter written quickly.

[MountainKing]

Who's campaign journals? :smallconfused: It's a big board, and a bigger world; help a brother out, please.

[RdMarquis]

Silverclawshift (or swift), I think. I've read those journals and they are excellent. Unfortunately, she stopped in the middle of one last summer and hasn't written an entry since. The ones she did write are probably still up on the board, though.

[Kelb_Panthera]

Your watermelon elemental (which I have no problem with) has a bite attack? How in the world does that work? :smallconfused:

SilverClawShift's campaign journals you say? http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116836

[Fluffy the Orc]

Oh man, I am SO excited about the Glow Axe. If you thought Fluffy could deal out damage before, just wait...

And that chief was a BAAAAADDD dude. He was better than Fluffy in every way. Faster, stronger, and more intelligent. Tam let me look at his stats after we were done with the session: 31 Strength :smalleek:.

Also, instead of 4 HP, Fluffy was knocked to -4 HP. In 2 hits. Fortunately, I have the ability to keep fighting after I have been knocked below zero. This is the closest the Big Green Oaf has ever come to death.

[Fayd]

While we're here: Fun fact about orcs.

Their skin tone comes from the color of the primary mineral's oxidized form. In effect, red-skinned orcs come from iron rich areas. Black orcs from silver. Fluffy is olive. What metal oxidizes into an olive color?

Uranium.

Also:


Your watermelon elemental (which I have no problem with) has a bite attack? How in the world does that work? :smallconfused:

SilverClawShift's campaign journals you say? http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=116836

The watermelon splits open and noms on foes with its sharp teeth which are cleverly hidden inside the tough outer shell of the melon. And thanks for that link... I really should have provided it earlier!

[Drakyn]

While we're here: Fun fact about orcs.

Their skin tone comes from the color of the primary mineral's oxidized form. In effect, red-skinned orcs come from iron rich areas. Black orcs from silver. Fluffy is olive. What metal oxidizes into an olive color?

Uranium.


You have a nuclear-powered orc on your team. I don't think there's anything else that can be said about this.

[Cade Rentyr]

and more intelligent.

Doesn't take much. :smalltongue:

Faster and stronger though, that's impressive. Think of Fluffy's probable stats in the midst of barbarian rage; that's what this guy was normally.

[Fayd]

You have a nuclear-powered orc on your team. I don't think there's anything else that can be said about this.

And now he has a nuclear-powered axe. It is marvelous.

[Alleine]

Is the tribe of orcs he is now chieftan of the same type as he is? Because then you could get fluffy, his axe, and his horde all together and kill people just by standing near them too long :smallcool:

[RdMarquis]

Is the tribe of orcs he is now chieftan of the same type as he is? Because then you could get fluffy, his axe, and his horde all together and kill people just by standing near them too long :smallcool:

Well, you guys haven't been sterilized or mutated or something by spending too much time with Fluffy, have you?

[Fayd]

No, they're not actively radioactive. Or passively radioactive. Or just radioactive. The axe on the other hand... Yeah. I'll wait until I have a formal description of it, but... it rocks. It won't affect us, thanks to magic.

And yes, this was his tribe. Which he now rules. :smallbiggrin:

[Eldariel]

Party's royalty-count increasing :o


All hail King Fluffy!

[Cisturn]

hey tell me exactly how many of these glowaxe orcs have joined you, i mean i understand all of them but how many numerically? also do they all act like Fluffy, because if they do that would be very scary...and awesome

[Fayd]

hey tell me exactly how many of these glowaxe orcs have joined you, i mean i understand all of them but how many numerically? also do they all act like Fluffy, because if they do that would be very scary...and awesome

67 berserkers have joined the ranks of our military. I don't think they ALL act like Fluffy. That said, that type of behavior is not entirely out of the realm of possibility.

[Cisturn]

67 berserkers have joined the ranks of our military. I don't think they ALL act like Fluffy. That said, that type of behavior is not entirely out of the realm of possibility.

also now that he is chief of his tribe does anyone know if fluffy intends on building a harem?

[Fayd]

Unknown at this time. He may, but there is certainly no time for that, current crisis and all that. He might also be too stupid. Dunno.

[Cade Rentyr]

also now that he is chief of his tribe does anyone know if fluffy intends on building a harem?

Well, keep in mind that Fluffy has about the intelligence of a four-year-old. Ask yourself, would a four-year-old build a harem, or would he still think girls are gross and full of cooties? (Note that our elves don't count as they're probably closer to the motherly exception.)

[flabort]

I know one four-year-old... wants to run the largest stripclub in the world when he gets the money.

That said, he's also at the mental cappacity of a six-year-old, and is training to be a football star already, too. one-in-a-trillion.

[Morchana]

Well, keep in mind that Fluffy has about the intelligence of a four-year-old. Ask yourself, would a four-year-old build a harem, or would he still think girls are gross and full of cooties? (Note that our elves don't count as they're probably closer to the motherly exception.)

Exactly-- remember? "Sexy elf is the mommy. . ." "Blue elf is the popsicle. . ." "Squishy is the emo sister. . ."

Fluffy thinks we are mother and sister and popsicle.

[Eldariel]

also now that he is chief of his tribe does anyone know if fluffy intends on building a harem?

I'd wager he'd mostly have a confused look on his face and ask whether that's edible. On the plus-side though, now being a king, he might have money so he can buy food. Also, he prolly has orcish cooks. Which will probably make him happy for life.

[Fayd]

Orcish... cooks? What is this concept?

On the other hand, it'll be interesting to see what he does. I mean, he has actually worked out a settlement with the powers in the region not to kill his people... so really, thus far, he's been fairly effective as a ruler, even without any real contact to his people.

[Eldariel]

Orcish... cooks? What is this concept?

Y'know, the folks who choose who eats which piece of meat :smallbiggrin:

[MountainKing]

On the subject of Fluffy's harem: I think we all know to run for the hills, given the distinct difference between "Fluffy hungry!" and "Fluffy... hungry..." :smallamused:

[Fayd]

On the subject of Fluffy's harem: I think we all know to run for the hills, given the distinct difference between "Fluffy hungry!" and "Fluffy... hungry..." :smallamused:

There's only one small problem.

The orcs live IN the hills.

[Snowstar]

Well, with all this being said, our last session was a little hot anyway! :smalltongue:

[Fayd]

Well, with all this being said, our last session was a little hot anyway! :smalltongue:

And my gut says the next one should be even hotter!

As it should be when we're about to enter a forest that has been on fire for 150 years or so. And the country is on fire. And our Paladin is on fire.

FIRE!

[cd4]

Just found this thread and it is a very good story. Well Done.

With all this fire a heavy rain storm seems to be a good idea.

[MountainKing]

There's only one small problem.

The orcs live IN the hills.

How is that a problem for Fayd? :smallconfused: Fayd can fly... so can Losselyn, can't she?

[Morchana]

How is that a problem for Fayd? :smallconfused: Fayd can fly... so can Losselyn, can't she?

Yes, they can, but I can't.

However, I'm pretty sure Fluffy thinks I am one of his "mothers", so I'm safe. :smallsmile:

[MountainKing]

Funny, that's what Oedipus said. :smallwink:

Better find some wings, methinks.

[flabort]

Uh... Fire?

As in, Hot Fire?

Ah, _____.

[Morchana]

Yup, that's about right. Fire.

And if Fluffy gets any ideas, which I'm still pretty sure he won't, the Connaughts might have something to say about that. :smallwink:

[Fayd]

Or biology. I mean. . . I honestly don't think it would work if he tried. . .

[Fluffy the Orc]

Wow. Just... wow. I forget to check the forum for a few days and there is a page and a half of Fluffy jokes.

What the crap? :smallbiggrin:

[Fayd]

It was quite a couple of days!

That said, assuming my cold and my workload does not eat my soul, I should be done WRITING the chapter by this evening. Editing is another matter entirely.

Wish me luck eh?

[flabort]

Good Luck!!!

I also wish the cold has Bad Luck, and you recover soon.

[Keito]

Look at Cade's Horse, His Horse is Amazing!

[Morchana]

Look at Cade's Horse, His Horse is Amazing!

The amazing thing is that it's the one thing in this wood that IS NOT ON FIRE! :smallbiggrin:

And also not slithery or tentacly. That's also a plus.

[AtwasAwamps]

The amazing thing is that it's the one thing in this wood that IS NOT ON FIRE! :smallbiggrin:

And also not slithery or tentacly. That's also a plus.

NO. BAD SHIPPING IMPULSES. STOP NOW.

[flabort]

Sailing, sailing, over AtwasAwamp's mind.... tentacles, knife sleeved rouges, -- Erg! Gaaack! haaaaaag-g-g-g-g, haaaaaag-g-g-g.

[MountainKing]

NO. BAD SHIPPING IMPULSES. STOP NOW.

Oh give it up; we all know you've already done that one. Whatever it is. :smallamused:

Personally, so long as the players don't have a problem with it, I approve.

[Morchana]

Please note that I HATE tentacles.

Thank-you. :smallsigh: We now return to our regularly scheduled programming. :smallsmile:

Don't worry. Give us a couple of sessions and we will give you plenty of shipping material! :smallbiggrin:

[Fayd]

Or just... you know... material. So yeah, didn't get as much writing done as I thought I would, but I'll probably be done here quick. Assuming I don't get distracte... OOOH! SHINY!

[MountainKing]

*sigh* What could we really expect? You've only got *one* eye... :smallbiggrin:

[Fayd]

The funny thing? Ever since I lost the eye, my Observation checks have gotten better.

It is, in fact, a trait that is fairly common. It has happened every time my DM took out a character's eye. Not kidding.

[Cade Rentyr]

The funny thing? Ever since I lost the eye, my Observation checks have gotten better.

It is, in fact, a trait that is fairly common. It has happened every time my DM took out a character's eye. Not kidding.

Yup, all two times. :smallamused:

Still though, apparently our dice are pretty sympathetic. I'd been itching to use Smite Evil all campaign, and on my first opportunity (the orc chieftain) I rolled exactly one shy of maximum from two d12's. Likewise Fluffy crits whenever it would be epic/hilarious, and Morchana's dice tend to crit every time she's been injured.

Some of us tend to hate our dice most of the time (and Tam's more of the time) but they tend to work out pretty well when we need them. :smallbiggrin:

[Morchana]

Morchana's dice tend to crit every time she's been injured.

This is known as the Vengeful Banshee Effect.

And we also found out last session that my one D20 hates Fayd. Just as well. A blue mage maybe shouldn't be using a pink die. :smallsmile:

[flabort]

That's not bad.
I've got a rainbow collored die at home. never used it in DND, but in any other game, can't roll anything but a 1. even though it's a d100!

[AtwasAwamps]

This is known as the Vengeful Banshee Effect.

And we also found out last session that my one D20 hates Fayd. Just as well. A blue mage maybe shouldn't be using a pink die. :smallsmile:

I keep my dice in a bag with a folded Joker card in it. My dice love me but hate my fellow players.

IE: Whenever I roll them for something that will help the party (successful combat, skill checks, etc.), they roll low. When I roll for something that affects only me (an untrained perform check, combat that won't help the party, unfortunate PVP circumstances...and worst of all, when I DM)...I roll like a monster.

I nearly dropped a level 5 party of five using a pack of wolves (5 of them). I crit them like nobodies business.

[Fayd]

Well gentlemen and ladies: The next chapter two chapters are in production and will roll out together! Two for the price of one!

Are you ready?

[MountainKing]

I don't think any of use are ever *ready*, but I think you'll find we'll always want it. :smallbiggrin:

[Morchana]

I don't think any of use are ever *ready*, but I think you'll find we'll always want it. :smallbiggrin:

We know you want it, and you're gonna get it. :smallwink:

Next chapters should be ready soon. . . Just you wait. :smallamused:

[flabort]

le'me guese... guess... geuse... whatever.
Cade's the only one left for editing again?

[Morchana]

Yep. I got done with it last night. It shouldn't take too long. And what has been done so far is pretty sweet!

Too bad it's Spring Break and I can't just hunt down Cade and stand over him with a whip or ruler or something until he finishes it!

[Fayd]

Yeah, how the writing process goes:

I write, then Morchana edits, then Cade edits, then I review and make sure everything is right (sometimes by sending it back to Morchana) and then I publish.

The actual cause of the delay thus far has been me. And me getting distra---SHINY THING!

[MountainKing]

See? I'm telling you, it's the one eye thing. Sure he sees *better*, but that just means he focuses on shiny things more. *shakes his head* Sorcerers. :smallbiggrin:

[absolmorph]

I read through this today. Holy crap sandwich with crap on top and a side of crap. Hilarious, interesting and just all-around amusing. I hope the good work continues for the rest of the campaign!

[Cade Rentyr]

le'me guese... guess... geuse... whatever.
Cade's the only one left for editing again?

Yep. I got done with it last night. It shouldn't take too long. And what has been done so far is pretty sweet!

Too bad it's Spring Break and I can't just hunt down Cade and stand over him with a whip or ruler or something until he finishes it!

Okay, let me explain something here. I write my own stories for another website as a hobby, just for me, just for fun. Actually, I suppose it's not just for me, as I have a decent collection of readers there too.
That is, if I have any left. You see, it's been 8 months, 14 days --I've counted-- since I've given them anything new, more than a stupid little note saying 'Hey, sorry, need more time.'
And while yes, I write slowly, and yes, these two semesters of school have been the busiest of my entire education, a fair part of that delay they've had to suffer has been because of this thread.

Now don't get me wrong; I could've dropped my hand out of this project at any time (and to be honest I think you'd get updates from Fayd a lot faster if I did) but I like editing Fayd's work and adding my own touches, and I very much enjoy sharing our story and joking around with all of you.

But I am spending Spring Break, my one breather this semester, writing a chapter for my other readers, and that's that.

Don't worry, you won't have to wait long one way or the other; for academic interests I have to swear off my own work once I'm back at school in the next day or two. Doomriders will update Monday evening at the latest, though I expect us to post as soon as tomorrow night.

I apologize if I've come across rudely or harsher than I meant to be --it's 1 AM here and I readily admit I'm a bit cranky. I just wanted to explain myself once, very clearly, and ask you all for your patience. Thank you, and good evening or good morning, whichever you prefer.

[Cade Rentyr]

I read through this today. Holy crap sandwich with crap on top and a side of crap. Hilarious, interesting and just all-around amusing. I hope the good work continues for the rest of the campaign!

Thanks, glad you're enjoying the story so far. We'll try not to disappoint. :smallsmile:

[absolmorph]

It's free entertainment, dood.
This took up the better part of a day (that I really should have spent on schoolwork; DAMN YOU!), was an awesome read, and you're working on providing entertainment for another group, who's gone far longer without your work. I consider this an acceptable reason. As long as you let us check out your other work, of course ;)
(It's completely up to you, really. Some people aren't comfortable sharing their work with a larger audience, myself included, and that's understandable.)

[Fayd]

It's free entertainment, dood.
This took up the better part of a day (that I really should have spent on schoolwork; DAMN YOU!), was an awesome read, and you're working on providing entertainment for another group, who's gone far longer without your work. I consider this an acceptable reason. As long as you let us check out your other work, of course ;)
(It's completely up to you, really. Some people aren't comfortable sharing their work with a larger audience, myself included, and that's understandable.)

Yeah, looking back on it, the journal has gotten really long. I've got it all on a Word Doc on my computer (more specifically 2 Word Docs because the first one got so big)

Glad you're enjoying this!

[MountainKing]

*stuff*

Cade, two things. One, real life takes priority, and I think we all understand that. Two, you play a paladin; I think we all expect a certain level of cranky. :smallbiggrin:

That being said, keep up the awesome work you guys!

[absolmorph]

Cade, two things. One, real life takes priority, and I think we all understand that. Two, you play a paladin; I think we all expect a certain level of cranky. :smallbiggrin:

That being said, keep up the awesome work you guys!
Hey! Not all of us paladin-types are cranky. I take offense to that!
RAAAAAAGE! (http://i130.photobucket.com/albums/p244/911baller/BLACKGOKU2.jpg)
I don't actually take offense. If you couldn't tell.

[Fayd]

And in actuality, it took him a LONG time to be able to Smite anything. Either it wasn't Evil, or he never got the chance...

[Kaulesh]

This is why I hate starting to read through an ongoing project.

I love the story so far. Can't wait for the next update!

[MountainKing]

And in actuality, it took him a LONG time to be able to Smite anything. Either it wasn't Evil, or he never got the chance...

See, that's what perplexes me. Cade is so easy-going, but I've *watched* paladins slowly devolve into irritable "CANISMITEIT" machines over the course of the early levels; I mean, how DARE a DM make us fight with animals! :smalltongue:

Thinkin' about it, that guy was kind of a jerk, though, so, I guess it's alright that he wasn't happy.

[absolmorph]

See, that's what perplexes me. Cade is so easy-going, but I've *watched* paladins slowly devolve into irritable "CANISMITEIT" machines over the course of the early levels; I mean, how DARE a DM make us fight with animals! :smalltongue:

Thinkin' about it, that guy was kind of a jerk, though, so, I guess it's alright that he wasn't happy.

As a level 4 paladin, the closest I came to getting to smite something was when we attacked a temple filled with kobolds.
I didn't get to smite any.
Next closest was probably when a drow shot me in the chest. With a gun.
I didn't take any damage, but I went down and didn't get a chance to attack. And one of my (two) other characters was taken hostage.
On the other hand, I'm playing as the highest and second highest level characters in the campaign. And one of the many level 1 characters. And possibly yet another one, soon.
When I was making Snuggles (Orc Barbarian, based HEAVILY on Fluffy), I realized that I'm playing most of an adventuring party. ON MY OWN.

[Fluffy the Orc]

When I was making Snuggles (Orc Barbarian, based HEAVILY on Fluffy)

Snuggles... Hahahaha. I love it. I also feel rather honored to have Fluffy used as a sort of archetype.

But I suppose TV Tropes has already beaten me to that one:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FluffyTheTerrible

[absolmorph]

Snuggles... Hahahaha. I love it. I also feel rather honored to have Fluffy used as a sort of archetype.

But I suppose TV Tropes has already beaten me to that one:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FluffyTheTerrible
His warning line is gonna be "SNUGGLES HUNGRY!", he has an Int and Wis of 5, I gave him Weak Willed (-3 on Will saves) and some flaw that gives him a -2 to one stat (I picked Int). He's pretty much as "stupid but insanely strong" as I can make him.

[Fayd]

Fluffy's INT and WIS aren't actually too bad... for the dual purposes of: 1) getting Skill Points, 2) to (try to) prevent him getting Mind Controlled. Mind-Controlled Fluffy=BAD for the home team.

[flabort]

Ohhhhh, ****.
That would be bad. really bad. Like, FLUFFY HUNGRY FOR SQUISHY MAN bad. or, FLUFFY EAT MOMMY NOW.

Yikes. *shudders*

[Fayd]

Our thoughts exactly.

[Snowstar]

Well, last session was amazing! Cade just got a whole lot hotter. :smallsmile:

I put two and two together and found it to be four. This has everything to do with the sun and things that taste like paint. With that being said:

BANANA-PEACH-PEAR!!! :smalltongue:

[Eldariel]

Well, last session was amazing! Cade just got a whole lot hotter. :smallsmile:

I put two and two together and found it to be four. This has everything to do with the sun and things that taste like paint. With that being said:

BANANA-PEACH-PEAR!!! :smalltongue:

I'm...only slightly confused? Well, good spoiler without spoiling anything :smallwink: Though now I gotta read it :smallconfused:

[flabort]

Uhhh....
Cade was thrown into the sun, and fayd made a bowl of fruit tase like paint?
snowstar got a +6 int. granting item? FLUFFY got a +6 int. granting item?

I'm... confused.

[Fayd]

I'll try to demystify... when the chapters come out! She's technically right on every account, though with some interesting choice of language. All accurate, and I actually rather enjoy the mystique. Nice job!

Oh, and Flabort, unfortunately, you are incorrect. Mostly. Taken from a VERY strange angle, one statement could be seen as partially correct. I will not say which one.

[Snowstar]

All of my after-session posts have been a little cryptic; no one has complained before. Last session just happened to be really awesome. But just to let all you guys know, these things don't have to have anything to do with one another directly.

[Morchana]

It's okay, Losselen-- I LOVED your post. It does sum everything up quite well but without actually giving anything away.

Keep up your post-session posts! They are awesome!

[Fayd]

Chapter 21: It’s Best Not to Think About It.

We pick up again with the country still on fire, and there is general freak-out going on. A lot of knights are panicking, as it is THEIR lands getting torched. Connaught, all things considered, isn’t too upset, as he’s losing. . . well. . . everything already, so what’s this little bit more? Andris and Mia’s travel plans have significantly changed. They are no longer traveling via an overland route. Instead, they will ride to Cattlepoint and head off to Tiborem by ship.

I am currently in a state of panic as well. Both my master, Martin, who is bringing reinforcements, and my good friend Kara, who is coming to detoxify the Grand Duke and Duchess should both probably be in the area that is on FIRE. I send off 2 quick planar messengers with a simple “Are you ok?” (modified as is appropriate for each) and get ready to go. Everyone else takes care of last minute preparations, and we ride off at a quick pace, so as not to distress the horses greatly (we still want to stay on Zoltan’s good side) and make it to River’s bend both in good time and unmolested.

During the ride, my messages return: Kara is fine, and is in Tiborem attending to the Grand Duke and Duchess. The fire starts just outside of Grayrock, Andris’s district. The royals have a fair bit of poison built up in their lungs, but are otherwise responding very well to treatment. Oh! And Gabraal hasn’t been seen since we left. Anywhere.

That is PROBABLY not good. :smalleek:

Cade quickly relays this information to Andris. At River’s Bend, we inform the younger Connaught of the victory down south and the army’s current plan to fall back to River’s Bend and fortify there against the Ghostdancers and Doomriders. Meanwhile, we are going to go to the Dwarves of Smoking Mountain to request aid and possibly ignite the Demon Wards. The Demon Wards are 3 sets of three sets of pillars, which forcibly Planeshift anything extraplanar and evil-subtyped to. . . not here. Probably Stygia (Hell) but I really don’t care, so long as it isn’t this plane. The bubble of protection, sadly, will not at maximum range protect much more than River’s Bend and its surroundings down where we are, but that’ll be a nasty surprise for any fiends, or tiefling, caught in the area at the time. . . or if they walk into it. Upon hearing that the army is coming to River’s Bend, the Baronet is ecstatic. “Maybe I’ll see some action for once!” he cries. “Ugh… but my father will probably be keeping me locked up inside to ‘safeguard the family line’. . .” he sighs, and looks pointedly at Morchana. To quote Tam, “He’s not even trying to be subtle anymore.” Throughout the rest of the evening, he keeps making pointed glances at Morchana, which she gracefully ignores until the rest are leaving. Rolls are made, and Morchana and the Baronet spend a ‘passable’ evening, while the rest of the party makes rolls to see whether or not they hear anything. The paladin rolls specifically to not hear anything, and ironically rolls a very good Observation. He’s billeted quite a ways from the Baronet’s room, however, so much to his relief his night passes quietly.

In the morning we depart and pass by the Longpipe farm, which has even MORE fortifications than before. “Where do you keep getting these?” I ask in wonder.

“Don’t tell anyone… but we’re getting it from the Baronet’s private wood.” (The Baronet Aralt, mind you)

That makes sense. “Well, it’s not doing him much good anymore,” I reply.

We stop in to chat, and they offer us the silver baby again, which I this time accept, knowing that I can use this for a little bit of… chemical… warfare against Tieflings or Undead if I play my cards right. (Silver is commonly associated with holy energy. I’m a weather mage. MWHAHAHAHA!) From there, I offer to feed the refugees and the Longpipes with another of my War Magicked feedings, and the elder Longpipe notices that I have picked up a few tricks since we last met.

While we are conversing with the elder Longpipe, a realization hits me. This is, quite probably, the oldest living human I have ever seen. He might just know what we’re up against. When I ask him if he knows anything about our foes, it turns out that he had been in the spear militia in ages past, and he had fought the Ghostdancer’s undead. They’re dry and desiccated, typically, and their spears didn’t stab them well. They also seemed to paralyze people they hurt. Good to know. Troublesome, but also good to know. I thank him for letting us know.

We leave and head to the edge of the Burning Woods. The woods themselves are. . . creepy. They’ve been on fire for the past 150 years, and yet are still there. The trees aren’t being consumed by the fire. What’s more, these look like willows, but when we get within 100 feet of them, they begin to turn towards us. Kind of like they’re watching us. Creepy.

There’s a small village at the edge of the Burning Woods and on the path to Smoking Mountain, and we stop there for the night. I send messages asking about the current state of affairs, find out that Martin has arrived in Tiborem and basically tell him to get to River’s Bend quickly but if he feels it is better, to put out the fires. Basically, to go on his own wisdom which is significantly better than mine.

Lossëlen goes to investigate the trees, and Cade comes along to examine the fire, as somehow he became a master of fire magic overnight. Both of them stay FAR away and magically examine their respective topics. Lossëlen finds that the trees are… wrong. Instead of normal plant “thoughts” of “light… stretch towards the light… ahhhh…. That’s good….” these trees are… hungry… and vulture like. It’s rather disconcerting. Cade also gets a sense of unnaturalness from the fire. It feels… heavy. If we had any experience with it (in character) we would almost say it’s like napalm or some other heavy gel fuel weapon thing. The major difference is that the trees are not being consumed. In fact, no matter is being consumed. And we’re not getting Moses vibes here, so this is probably not good.

We rest and head up the path to the boundary fort. The path to Smoking Mountain goes through Hathalom, the Grand Duchery’s neighbor to the north, for a short time. At the border fort (which is VERY heavily fortified to repel orc rushes) we meet with the captain and manage convince him to send some men down to River’s Bend to help, as well as sending a letter to their King informing him of the situation. If Hathalom does send aid, there will almost certainly be sticky diplomatic situations afterward --the Grand Duchery broke away from that country, after all, and not too long ago-- but it’s better than letting the place burn and die. It takes a while and there are no chairs in his office (at all), but we set off for Smoking Mountain in good time.

The path up is entirely steep switchbacks, and it is rough going. Towards the top, we notice an ash field off of the main path and more specifically the dragon skeletons sticking out of the ash. Keito explains what happened. Essentially, at the previous battle for Smoking Mountain, the forces of evil, consisting of a great red dragon and his dragonflight, a horde of orcs, and a dracolich’s undead army entered the mountain through small tunnels. St. Dain dusted the undead army handily, and the orcs were summarily cut down by the heroes --a party of five including Dain, during Tam’s previous campaign in this world. The dragons also entered, but were unable to go very quickly or really maneuver as the tunnels were roughly the same size they were. They were cut down mercilessly by the heroes and their corpses burned out by their leader, who sent in more after them. (Except for the reds. They don’t burn.)

At the top, there is a huge metal door, with an inlaid knocker. Before anyone can stop him, Fluffy takes the opportunity to knock. And knock. And knock some more. After a long time, a dwarf appears. “What do you want?”

“Fluffy hungry.”

“RIGHT. Do you want some cats?” Fluffy nods his head, and the dwarf disappears. Great. Just great.

After about five minutes Fluffy gets bored and knocks again, and this time I intercede and ask to speak with their leader. A while later, we are met with some Dwarf who refers to himself as the Dainson, which, given history, is probably a title, not literally. Probably. He ushers us inside into their council chamber. Along the way, we go through a tunnel, and Fluffy notices some murder holes along the top of the ceiling, which he regards as ‘waving holes’ and spends some time poking his arm through and waving it a around. There is no response. The path inside the mountain consists of switchbacks. MORE switchbacks, some so sharp that they have mechanical switches to change direction. The inside of the mountain is warm, probably from the magma within, and a column of smoke rises straight up from a hole in the ground out through the top of the mountain.

The leading council of Dwarves consists of 7 members, of which the Dainson is presumably the leader of, as he is in the middle. Before Cade or I can begin, Fluffy informs our hosts that he is, once again, hungry. When they inquire what they can get him, he responds “I like kitties. They’re tasty.” At once, a small dwarf boy springs out from underneath the table and runs down a corridor.

I open negotiations with a question. “Do you like killing orcs?” The entire mountain, stone and all, responds with a unified “YES!” The Seven Dwarves stroke their beards as they listen and (presumably) think, and all in complete unison. It’s best not to think about it too much. “How about destroying the undead?”

“We could send the Redeemers down there to deal with that.” One of the dwarves drunkenly whispers (so naturally, we could all hear it) to the Dainson before passing out. We have no idea who these Redeemers ARE, but the dwarves seem to think that they’ll get the job done, so that is good. While unconscious, he is still stroking his beard. It’s best not to think about it. At about this time, the dwarf boy comes back with a mewling box of cats. And a shovel. Fluffy LOVES the Dwarves. An alliance between the Glowaxe and the Dwarves is already beginning to form. . .

“How about dragonslaying?” I continue, not noticing (or pretending not to notice)

“I’m sorry, we’re out of heroes at the moment.”

“That’s all right. We’ve got the heroes part covered anyway.”

Cade casually observes that, “Where there are dragons, there are dragon hordes.”

At once, they light up like kids at Christmastime. We’ve come to their door, offering death to their most hated enemies AND the possibility of treasure? Do we know how to negotiate or WHAT? Also: No need for ANY Diplomacy rolls. It was amazing.

When the dwarf boy asks Fluffy what he thinks of his box of cats, Fluffy responds, “They a little chewy.” So the boy runs off and comes back with a huge flask of acid, which he pours into the crate to make a cat soup mixture. Ever the opportunist, Keito walks over and asks the child for some herself. Tam responds, “What kind of cruel creature are you to deprive a dwarf child of his only plaything?” Fluffy continues to eat/drink this cat-acid mixture until it is empty and he is happy. (It’s REALLY best not to think about it)

Keito gestures towards the dwarf who had passed out. “Can I get some of that?” to which, Tam responds “You would deprive a dwarf of his only plaything?” But at Keito’s clarification, the dwarves suddenly realize that they have not served drinks to any of us, and hastily correct the problem, handing a mug to everyone. Including Swift, actually, but when I balk at them giving alcohol to my familiar, they slap their foreheads for the obvious error, and come back with a tall shot glass instead of a mug. The ale is STRONG stuff; it burns Swift’s eyes just from getting near it. Turns out, it is a secret recipe brewed from mushrooms. Yum. . .

Cade, obviously, leaves his mug untouched, as do I when I can feel the burning in Swift’s eyes from just looking at the stuff. Morchana and Lossëlen have sips, but politely decline to drink any more. Keito is downing the mug quickly and when she asks for another, realizes that the mug is not empty. In fact, the mug is self-refilling through a hose and a pump at the table. Brilliant! Keito is happy.

I drove the nail home in our preliminary discussions with, “And in addition, if you help the Grand Duchery, they may be able to reinstate shipments of grain for your ale!” Negotiations prove fruitful, although tedious what with reciting ancestry every time someone is mentioned. The next course of action is laid out: they will send the Redeemers south to River’s Bend to fortify and destroy any undead there, while sending their main group through the mountains to harry the Ghostdancer forces or any Doomriders that are there. Meanwhile, they will send a couple of covert priest groups and a hired group of adventurers to ignite the two sets of Demon Wards in the north. They felt rather guilty; normally they do this every 50 years and kind of forgot this time around. The final set, in the Burning Woods, will be ignited by our party; they’ve really not had much luck there, what with being an ale-soaked and thus highly flammable race who’ve recently become aware that running around frantically and clutching each other whilst on fire is generally detrimental.

With negotiations complete, we rest for the night before our next step. They lead us up more switchbacks to the guest room. The beds are inset in the wall and instead of ladders for the bunks… there are more switchbacks. Flight is nice to have! The beds are a little on the small size as the Dwarves don’t seem to get how tall humans can be. (“Take a dwarf and add… dunno… another foot or so?”) I’m more or less fine, aside from the small volume, but… beggars can’t be choosers. At least the bed is not THAT short for me. (I’m one of the shortest party members.) However, the floor is heated, and Keito happily discovers that there is an ale tube inset in the wall by each bed.
That morning, we see the Redeemers off with our horses. (They’re taking them back to the border for us –fire tends to be rough on ponies.) The Redeemers are an… interesting… lot. Their purpose is to redeem their bloodline after their ancestor turned to necromancy, and raised all of the dwarven dead to, at first, defend Smoking Mountain during the Great Orcish Invasion. Then he betrayed them all and allied with Azurebones. Nearly the entire populace was killed while that campaign’s party was away adventuring --they weren’t exactly pleased or merciful with him when they returned. The Redeemers number about fifty, and they are quick, efficient, military and… beardless. And sober. It is really disconcerting. It is probably best not to think about it. In any case, they can only reclaim their dwarven honor by fighting --and likely dying-- in valiant battle against undead. I think we’ve just handed them a much-desired opportunity.

We, meanwhile, make our way to the edge of the Burning Woods where I prepare the fire resistance ritual. I have to… jury rig the ritual a bit, not having PRECISELY the right material component, but I have something that will work. That and the party doesn’t need to know that.

(Cade here. I’d like to interrupt my edit to glare at the mage. :smallmad:)

The ritual will give us 7 hours of Resist Fire 10 to blitz our way through this hell-on-our-plane. Conveniently, there are 7 hours of daylight left. . .
Session break.

[absolmorph]

Cade's note at the end made me smile.

[Fayd]

He did too! I didn't notice, but he did, in fact, glare at me whilst editing.

[flabort]

Heh, heh...
Ear 2 Ear grins all around with that comment, eh, Cade? except for you, your obviosly too busy glaring.

I see how Cade was "ON FIRE", now. he's probably quite likely mastered the art of setting himself ON FIRE by now.

fire resist 10 is always nice.

[Alex112524]

“RIGHT. Do you want some cats?”

Turns out, it is a secret recipe brewed from mushrooms. Yum. . .

what with being an ale-soaked and thus highly flammable race who’ve recently become aware that running around frantically and clutching each other whilst on fire is generally detrimental.

DWARF FORTRESS!!!! <3 Tam :smallbiggrin:

Note: If the name of this fortress or any other you come across is Boatmurdered, do NOT mess with them, or there will be lava, lot and LOTS of lava! And probably an elephant attack. Also be on the lookout for an elf who is king of the dwarves (also awesome), as he would likely be level 21+, even in your E6 game. If you ever run across any Great Wyrm Dragons, he could solo them for you.

[Eldariel]

All of my after-session posts have been a little cryptic; no one has complained before.

I don't think any of us mind it; we just like having something to speculate so we rather take whatever we can. :smallwink: On the contrary, the crypticness makes them awesome; we'll get the whole story later and see exactly what you meant by each line and how far off our wild guesses were.

Short version: Vuw your synopses and wants to see more in the future.


Regarding the entry, I must say that's a lot to not think about. I'll be trying to wrap my mind around how that works. Also, it made me want a good stout beer. Props.

Let's hope the eternal fire isn't what it seems to be like some manner of hellfire that's half-vile half-fire and thus goes merrily through your resistance while being uncurable too, eh?

Any history available on this forest, btw? It sounds slightly messed-up. Well, no more so than your average eternally burning forest...but y'know, it's an eternally burning forest. Makes me think of Genus Loci for some reason...

[absolmorph]

I don't think any of us mind it; we just like having something to speculate so we rather take whatever we can. :smallwink: On the contrary, the crypticness makes them awesome; we'll get the whole story later and see exactly what you meant by each line and how far off our wild guesses were.

Short version: Vuw your synopses and wants to see more in the future.


Regarding the entry, I must say that's a lot to not think about. I'll be trying to wrap my mind around how that works. Also, it made me want a good stout beer. Props.

Let's hope the eternal fire isn't what it seems to be like some manner of hellfire that's half-vile half-fire and thus goes merrily through your resistance while being uncurable too, eh?

Any history available on this forest, btw? It sounds slightly messed-up. Well, no more so than your average eternally burning forest...but y'know, it's an eternally burning forest. Makes me think of Genus Loci for some reason...
Careful, it might jump!

[Cade Rentyr]

Well folks, a few... interesting developments have happened in the three sessions we haven't updated yet. By the end of this evening's session, for example, every one of us has at least one crit-damage scar. Also, I'm currently sitting (un)comfortably at -20 hp, stable. (Dead at -21)

Vile damage. All of it.

On the plus side, we've all hit epic level 6 this evening. :smallsmile: (Or at least, I will too if I ever wake up.)

[Eldariel]

Well folks, a few... interesting developments have happened in the three sessions we haven't updated yet. By the end of this evening's session, for example, every one of us has at least one crit-damage scar. Also, I'm currently sitting (un)comfortably at -20 hp, stable. (Dead at -21)

Vile damage. All of it.

On the plus side, we've all hit epic level 6 this evening. :smallsmile: (Or at least, I will too if I ever wake up.)

Sounds...painful. Well, at least y'all are still alive. Vile damage is...hard to heal; sounds like you might be out-for-the-count for a while. On the flipside, congratulations on outgrowing your mortality :smallbiggrin:

[MountainKing]

Well folks, a few... interesting developments have happened in the three sessions we haven't updated yet. By the end of this evening's session, for example, every one of us has at least one crit-damage scar. Also, I'm currently sitting (un)comfortably at -20 hp, stable. (Dead at -21)

Vile damage. All of it.

On the plus side, we've all hit epic level 6 this evening. :smallsmile: (Or at least, I will too if I ever wake up.)

So, if someone were to, say, walk up and flick Cade in the eye... you'd be dead? :smalleek: Well that's never a good sign. Hopefully, they won't put you on the cart. Tell 'em you feel happy. :smallbiggrin: With any luck, the guy won't be 'round again until next Thursday, and they won't feel like asking for favors.

[Morchana]

So, if someone were to, say, walk up and flick Cade in the eye... you'd be dead? :smalleek: Well that's never a good sign. Hopefully, they won't put you on the cart. Tell 'em you feel happy. :smallbiggrin: With any luck, the guy won't be 'round again until next Thursday, and they won't feel like asking for favors.

Don't worry-- Cade's not going on the cart just yet. Fluffy is holding 'Daddy' and singing lullabies to him. Nothing's even going to get close to Cade. :smallsmile:

[MountainKing]

Seems like that ought to be some kind of Fortitude save versus Sonic damage. :smallamused:

[absolmorph]

Seems like that ought to be some kind of Fortitude save versus Sonic damage. :smallamused:
Hardly; Fluffy almost definitely has an awesome singing voice.

[MountainKing]

I guess if you're really into Black Metal, then yeah, I can see that. I was referring more to the likely *volume* of the sound, however. Being that close to the resonating of Fluffy's diaphragm is probably unhealthy at best.

I hope Cade has ear plugs.

[Fayd]

Oh, he's capable of something other than fortissimo.
Fortississimo
The entire party is just a little in shock at the moment. For different reasons each. Yeah... Not spoiling anything though. Hopefully life stops sucking and I'll get everything typed up quickly.

[Snowstar]

The amount of enemy arrows I have taken to my heart is six too many.

[Morchana]

The amount of enemy arrows I have taken to my heart is six too many.

Well, the number of enemy dagger crits to my shoulder is one too many. :smallmad: I forget-- are you going to end up with any scars? :smallfrown:

[flabort]

one eyed fayd, one armed assasin, one winged snowstar, one ear fluffy, one thought cade, one legged keito.

Did I get any right? (fayd, obviosly. you've been flaunting it... almost)

And, how does the paint-fruit thing come in? did you EAT anything in the burning forrest?!?!

[Fayd]

Soon. Soon you shall know. Also, there are no paint-fruit. There is paint, and there is fruit. But no paint-fruit.

Also, I'm the only person out a significant feature thus far. Everyone has scars, but I'm the only one out something.

[Eldariel]

Well, the number of enemy dagger crits to my shoulder is one too many. :smallmad: I forget-- are you going to end up with any scars? :smallfrown:

From what we've heard from Cade, yes. :smallfrown: Well, at least it'll be a story worth telling.

[Morchana]

From what we've heard from Cade, yes. :smallfrown: Well, at least it'll be a story worth telling.

Well, I have two now, but I couldn't remember if Losselen had any.

[Fayd]

We ALL ate a crit. Fluffy, in fact, got 2. As I recall, Tam was rather gleeful about that.

[Eldariel]

We ALL ate a crit. Fluffy, in fact, got 2. As I recall, Tam was rather gleeful about that.

In my mental image, scars kinda suit Fluffy anyways. I mean, he's a huge Orc. He can wear scars with style. I'm more worried for your elven contingent. Surely they can be cured?

[Fayd]

Chapter 22: Into the Fire. Or: CLEAR!

We begin our perilous trek into the Burning Woods to ignite the three Demon Wards within. We’re juiced up with Resist Fire 10 for 7 hours, courtesy of yours truly. Lossëlen aids Morchana’s Survival checks by casting a divination spell, which manifests as an icy floating arrow to guide us. We make our way to the first clearing safely, avoiding the worst of the blaze, and making good time.

The Demon Ward is in the middle of an ash meadow, for lack of a better term. Most of the party examines the ward, and there’s no doubt, this is the real thing. Dwarvish rune-words to guide the magicks, dedication to the goddess of the forge, the whole nine yards. Keito steps into the circle to begin pumping magic into it. To activate these wards, some arbitrary number of positive energy or holy damage must be inflicted upon the center of the structure.

Meanwhile, Fluffy, bored as usual, makes an ash snowman. Or tries, anyway. He piles the ash as best he can (it’s not really sticky) and then goes and cuts tentacle-branches off of the nearest tree and sticks them into the sides. Morchana, meanwhile, spots something unusual… a bright red flower. It’s small but has pretty nasty thorns for its size. She calls Lossëlen over, who also doesn’t know what to make of it. Gut instinct has them leave it alone. Which really was for the best. After the session, I rolled a knowledge and it …was disturbing. If I’m right, this is a jungle flower… somehow. A very dangerous jungle flower. In common terms, it is a piranha plant, and not the Mario variety. The Amazon variety. Swarm killers and feeders that use the corpses of their victims as fertilizer. Fun times.

After Keito’s first heal spell, we see the Demon Ward react slightly, glowing at the tips of the pillars. After her second heal spell, the ward ignites with a bright flash of light, and Lossëlen and myself can feel its… presence… active. Kind of like the hair on the backs of our necks always standing up. We’re not affected as we are not evil-subtyped, but being planetouched, we CAN feel it.

The group consensus is to move as quickly as possible, and with another quick divination, we’re off. We avoid this nasty tornado thingy of fire on the way to the next clearing. However, the divination runs out before we get there, and we get trapped by the fire in sight of our next destination. So I supercharge the fire resist for a bit and we run through. I do so well it actually feels a little cold, which is obviously a bit disconcerting. The next clearing is set on the top of a steep plateau, and on the way up, there are two sets of trilithons (three standing stone things like Stonehenge has.) One is standing and one set has collapsed. The collapsed one has a huge snake skeleton through it. The neck was crushed by the top stone. My treasure-sense is tingling, and I get within 15 feet to cantrip style magic sense as I want to conserve MP.

I really need to get my treasure-sense looked at. From the skeleton, a Huge-sized fire elemental snake rears up and we move into initiative.

It quickly exploits the surprise round to spit out a bunch of smaller fire-snakes and it and two of the snakes attack me. The other two go at Fluffy’s ankles. (One reaches as high as his kneecap and actually does a point or two of damage) The big snake bites me clean through the middle and lifts me into the air! In excruciating pain and panic I try to retaliate with a shock touch spell, but I only deal minor damage. (I had to use a bunch of mana to just make sure the spell was possible.) Fortunately the rest of the party is quick on the uptake; Cade hurls a negative-energy powered spear at it, dealing decent damage with the non-magical part; Lossëlen makes frost arrows from the ether and delivers significant pain; Fluffy, meanwhile has multiple enemies within range. WHIRLWIND STRIKE! He hits and destroys a good number of the smaller snakes as well as gashing the big one. At this point I should mention that the martial school for barbarians has a combat stance available that grants temporary hit points for every enemy killed. :smallamused: Not much right now, but enough to counteract the damage he pays to hit foes with the Glowaxe, in exchange for 3d6… plus strength mod… plus 2d6 unresistable damage… each. :smallamused: :smallbiggrin: :smallamused:

Keito, meanwhile, flings a heal spell at me, which is probably why I only go unconscious as the snake drops me into its coils… It moves to attack the rest of the party, who respond with extreme prejudice; Fluffy gets another good whack at it, Morchana slashes at it with her saber (unfortunately wasting her really good poison on the blade…) and Lossëlen finishes the creature off with another arrow storm, firing a shot in each eye and a shot in the wound in its side.

I live, but barely. The first thing I see when I come to is Cade’s still-healing hand slapping me across the face. “Let one of us do that!” he scolds, referring to the treasure-scanning. Still, I limp over to check out the skull. No treasure at all. Fluffy gets on top of the snake skull and cuts it clean in half with a single stroke. I go to try to disintegrate some of the bones with electricity, but… no… I can’t, at least for free. Keito activates the second Demon Ward, while we prepare to move out. Before we can actually get moving, though, we notice a portal opening in the middle of the Ward.
Given what we’ve just been through, we’re understandably a bit conflicted about how to react. Keito, for example, strongly urges us to hustle our hindquarters out of there, but on the other hand I’m all for sticking around, especially because the portal is opening at the newly-activated HOLY artifact. Cade listens and doesn’t say much, but his opinion quickly becomes apparent; he plants himself squarely between us and the portal, weapons drawn.

The portal finishes forming, and out steps… a horse, who immediately looks straight at Cade and speaks in Brass, the Planar dialect of Fire: “You have asked. She has sent. I have come.”

“’She’?” The paladin sounds nearly as surprised as the rest of us. “You have come from Our Lady?” When the mare’s long head nods, Cade relaxes and smiles. “Will you follow me?”

“Of course.” The horse trots over and nuzzles the paladin, who strokes her nose in return. Our holy knight now has a familiar and holy paladin mount to boot! Sweet!

Cade names her Ignisibrae, though we can call her Ignis or even Iggy. She’s a Large-Sized Good-and-Fire-subtype outsider, described thusly:

“Even in all the glare of the surrounding fire she seems to give off her own light. Currently she’s almost too bright to look at, actually… unfortunately, especially for you.” (Pointing at Morchana, who just shrugs and nods.) “But if you got a good look at her, you’d say her coat was a spotless, pretty amber hue… until you looked at her a second time, when you’d frown and realize she was a much deeper, earthy red than you remember. Then suddenly, she’s changed to an almost glittering gold before your eyes, and you don’t remember noticing the shift. Likewise, out of the corner of your eye it always looks like there’s a guttering flame tracing down the back of her neck, but every time you give it your attention her red mane seems perfectly still and natural.

“Perhaps it’s all just a trick of the firelight.”

In any case, joined by our new party member, we set off. Same procedure for the next travel leg: Divination spell that guides us well for the first hour, and then it failing and we have to rush past a big blaze with a supercharged fire resist from me. Cade spends a time conversing in Brass with Ignisibrae.

In the final clearing, which is HUGE, we see a sight that surprises even people who have heard about it… Rising one hundred feet, straight up, out of the center of the clearing is a petrified purple worm. Knowledge (Engineering) from Keito reveals that there is… a lot… more beneath the surface. This is powers of ten bigger than these worms are supposed to get. At the top, on the rim of the ‘mouth’ we can spot the form of the final Demon Ward. Lovely.
Keito, Morchana, Swift, Iggy and I stay on the ground, while Lossëlen flies to the top and Fluffy climbs up carrying Cade. It’s a tough climb for Fluffy, but he manages to make it without too much trouble. Ignis immediately begins pacing back and forth at the base, nickering anxiously. Cade goes to the Demon Ward and smites it once. Fluffy is just hanging out at the top of the pillar, and Lossëlen goes to investigate the gaping maw… down at the bottom, she spots a side passage. I’m getting a bad feeling about this, but… I’m not there.

Pouring out of the side passage come these tentacled monstrosities. They are large-sized with four tentacles surrounding a central beak with one long “body” behind them, and wings extending from what might be called their shoulders. After the session, Tam told us they are called “Dread Gricks.” They’re a vivid green, with red bands and more tentacles than other identifiable body mass. During their surprise round, one of them shoves Lossëlen up into the air, and they spill out of the maw. One slams into Fluffy, pushing him back a couple feet, while another forces Cade nearly to the edge --of the 100-foot drop!

The rest brush past, dive toward those of us on the ground and use their breath weapon on us, which deals partial fire and partial acid damage. We’re safe from the fire unless they roll max damage or close to it, but the acid hurts.

Meanwhile, up top, Cade has managed to keep his balance and dance around away from the edge, and Lossëlen is flitting around continually trying to cover him by shooting anything that is trying to get at him. In the end, she is grappled by one of these creatures (there’s at least one to each of us) and it… drops. None of us can do anything in time; they both hit the ground far below with a sickening crunch. Lossëlen is… alive, barely, but a good ways into negatives, and she doesn’t have many of those…

Keito rushes over and BLAMS! a heal into her. Cade gets grappled, but does not get pushed off. Several times the creatures try to knock Fluffy off and fail. Then they get Whirlwhind Strike critted to oblivion. Several times.
Down below, I summon one of my elementals to fight for me. Because they were airborne at the time of the summoning, I choose my Air Elemental, Tezzla. Tezzla is the spark-phoenix I’ve been summoning frequently up to this point. (A modification to the way spells are handled mean that I have specific summons so that Tam doesn’t have to come up with numbers and figures out of the ether anymore, but only a set number of them. I have an elemental for every occasion!) He goes and charge-full attacks the creature that had fallen with Lossëlen, turning it into a writhing mass of goo, spasming tentacles, and a nasty burned smell before it can gather itself and get up. :smallmad:

The two remaining gricks on the ground attack Morchana and myself. I am rather lucky thus far, dodging one tentacle and one bite… and then getting hit with the last tentacle. Morchana on the other hand eats a nasty crit as the one she is fighting bites her, after swiping at the grick nearest her with both her saber and her dagger. I can now see through her… she’s as evil within as without! She’s at negative HP but still conscious, and to cover her (baffling her in the process) Ignis rushes to stand over her body and attack the creature in her stead. Keito sprints back our way and slaps down another big heal. I try, and fail, to use a powerful melee touch attack spell. Morchana, vengeful banshee effect in full swing, critically strikes and moves back out of range. Likewise, the first action Lossëlen is able to take is to arrow storm the same creature, brutalizing it.

Up top, they keep trying to knock Fluffy off, and fail. And die horribly by Whirlwind Strike. (They are Mindless, after all.) Cade manages to pull himself free of his grick just before it splatters across the stone, courtesy of the local Glowaxe.

At the bottom, I try again to expend the charge of the melee touch attack and fail, only to take another tentacle to the face. It’s always that last one too. More arrow storms, tentacle’y pain, knife wounds and emergency medical attention later, we’re down to the last enemy monster down here. (Fluffy has long since annihilated the rest of them up top. Cade tells us he seriously considered dropping a spear into our melee before prudently deciding the miss chance wasn’t worth it and returning to the ward.)

Ironically, Morchana’s Vengeful Banshee effect seems to spread for this battle; after any of us have been greatly healed by Keito we tend to deal massive damage to the offending gricks. I’m no exception, as after I’ve been relieved of some vicious slapping I get rather sick of missing that darn grick. :smallfurious: I finally connect with the melee touch attack and MAN does it hurt. Swift and I strike out in unison, and… well, ‘electrify’ the monster doesn’t quite say it. To be closer to accurate, I would say we spread its constituent atoms over approximately the entire area of the Burning Woods. My first critical, and it compares favorably with Fluffy’s!

Free of opposition, Cade ignites the Demon Ward, and Lossëlen and I can once again feel its presence… though the presence is slightly altered, as the three sets of Demon Wards are resonating, exponentially increasing their field of protection. Fluffy, bored, climbs down into the maw for a while… Lossëlen flits around nervously, ready to freeze the orifice shut at a moment’s notice. Nothing happens this time, however, and when he comes back out he carries Cade down to earth again, this time climbing face first ‘since it was so easy the first time’. :smalleek: He again rolls ridiculously (and unnecessarily) well, though Cade had to make a Fort Save against nausea.

When they reach the ground, Fluffy begins to describe what he saw; inside the hollow in the maw, Fluffy found a desk and couch made of stone, as well as this ‘fire thing’ in the middle that tasted like paint.

My mind (thanks to an INT check) screams, “DEVOURER RUINS! Martin will KILL you if you don’t investigate!!” (Martin --my mentor-- spent most of his life researching Devourer (Ilithid) ruins and actually lost several levels to them) So, naturally, I ask to go investigate and, naturally, the party is NOT thrilled with the idea. And I can’t really blame them. But I HAVE to, and Cade shuts down the argument and allows it, if I make it quick. And they’re leaving in 10 minutes, with or without me.

The entire thing takes me a minute and a half. Tops. I fly up, double move actions, in, and investigate. It’s exactly as Fluffy described. The furniture was VERY recently destroyed (Large-size surprise…) and there aren’t any obvious drawers or anything, so it doesn’t look like there are documents or anything… I take the glowing fire-orb with me (it has an oily constancy and is very paint-like) and leave. As I get to the bottom, I notice that it is attempting to latch onto my arm. I shake it off and let it hover in midair. We try to identify this thing, but can’t exactly. We do notice that as it begins to attach to someone, the fire covering all the woods begin to dim…

There’s another point of fierce debate here, as I desperately want to take the fire glob along and show it to Martin, but we can’t figure out how to move the silly thing; it floats at a certain height if left alone, but any time any of us touch it, it begins to latch on and crawl up our arms until we shake it off… Trying to put it in a bag or even a magical bubble of air is no good --it just seeps straight through any possible medium until it contacts living flesh. It’s so sluggish latching on that we can move it with us, so long as we keep shaking it loose and move at reduced speeds. Unfortunately, there’s the rub; we are NOT ready to field another melee in these woods (Keito’s exhausted her entire magical supply, and Cade doesn’t have much more, for example) and half of us are unwilling to delay in getting the heck out of here. The elves are both in favor of taking it right back where I found it; Cade and I staunchly oppose this plan, me because I’ve GOT to show Martin, Cade for, well, for lack of a better term, plot intuition. Finally, Cade gets us all to agree we’re burning daylight (and Fire resist) arguing about it, and gets us all to compromise: we’ll take the glob with us as quickly as we can, but at the first sign of trouble (especially the tentacle-y kind) we drop it and run.

Fortunately for me, we encounter nothing else and reach the edge of the Woods right at sunset. The sun is going down and with the smoke clouds and all is really quite pretty, what with the fire behind us and half the country still burning before us. Then the sun gets halfway through setting and stops. We wait 10 minutes and it doesn’t move. We also notice that, on the plains, there is absolutely no wind. Time doesn’t appear to have stopped, as the grass still responds when we touch it.

I roll a nat 20 on Knowledge (Arcana) for a total of 37 on the check. Tam’s response: “You have no frikkin’ clue.”

[absolmorph]

Personally, I'd let it attach to me.
For scienceknowledge!

[Fayd]

Well, you'll know what happened soon enough! Interestingly, Tam says that we are very atypical PCs for him... we don't tend to take everything that isn't nailed down. He has a tough time bribing us with loot. But we're getting better.

[absolmorph]

Well, you'll know what happened soon enough! Interestingly, Tam says that we are very atypical PCs for him... we don't tend to take everything that isn't nailed down. He has a tough time bribing us with loot. But we're getting better.
wat needs 7 letters to be an acceptable length for a post.

[Fayd]

wat

We're getting better. Honest!

[Cade Rentyr]

Well, you'll know what happened soon enough! Interestingly, Tam says that we are very atypical PCs for him... we don't tend to take everything that isn't nailed down. He has a tough time bribing us with loot. But we're getting better.
wat

Probably has something to do with the presence of a very principled paladin in the group. :smallwink:

[Eldariel]

Well, you'll know what happened soon enough! Interestingly, Tam says that we are very atypical PCs for him... we don't tend to take everything that isn't nailed down. He has a tough time bribing us with loot. But we're getting better.

I wish I had problems like that... Last time in Expedition of the Demonweb Pits, a smartass in the party decided to take a livesized silver statue of Lolth with him. From Lolth's temple. In her home plane.

Also, Time Stands Still. Sounds like an island in time or something of the sort...or someone messing with the Aether or a grandeur illusion or some temporary bubble generated by the wards or...yeah, something.


Also, the woods didn't scorch you with unholy flames? For shame! That's...pretty awesome overall though. Keep up the good work. Maybe we'll find out what's happening at some point too.


I can now see through her… she’s as evil within as without!

Well played.

[Snowstar]

I assume I have a scar on my chest where all six arrows went in! Anyway, as for the people trying to figure out the last journal --> paint, time, things that taste like paint, sunsets, who paints sunsets?? This is the one that I figured out and I am very proud of it!:smallyuk:

[absolmorph]

Probably has something to do with the presence of a very principled paladin in the group. :smallwink:
Every paladin should know that they need to gather wealth to better fight evil :smallwink:

[MountainKing]

I assume I have a scar on my chest where all six arrows went in! Anyway, as for the people trying to figure out the last journal --> paint, time, things that taste like paint, sunsets, who paints sunsets?? This is the one that I figured out and I am very proud of it!:smallyuk:

...I still don't get it. Could you possibly just... well, explain it?

[Cade Rentyr]

...I still don't get it. Could you possibly just... well, explain it?

Well, the revelation she's referring to we actually realized (and by we I mean Losselen) at the start of the next session, so you'll see it in the next couple of days when we update.

In the meantime, look back through our sessions; have we met anyone associated with paint...? :smallwink:

[MountainKing]

Okay, but... what about banana peach pear? What the heck is that all about? :smallconfused:

[Fayd]

Again, next chapter. We're working on it at the moment (final stages of editing, so... not long left!)

[absolmorph]

Well, the revelation she's referring to we actually realized (and by we I mean Losselen) at the start of the next session, so you'll see it in the next couple of days when we update.

In the meantime, look back through our sessions; have we met anyone associated with paint...? :smallwink:
Be vewy, vewy quiet. It's DWAGON HUNTING SEASON!

[Fayd]

Oh, so very, very close. But not quite. He was a sculptor, if you recall.

[RdMarquis]

Personally, I'd let it attach to me.
For scienceknowledge!

You could just use someone you don't like as a guinea pig. By the way, I think some woman in the capital who was a painter. Didn't Morchana look at a landscape she had drawn, or something?

...That was vague. But, I have to get to class. I have no time to look through the other entries, although I did have just enough for a fuzzy memory.

[Fayd]

We thought of that too, but there was the one small concern of not being able to get it off. We really have NO idea what will happen. (Or didn't at the time...)

[absolmorph]

Oh, so very, very close. But not quite. He was a sculptor, if you recall.
Oh, right. It was Lady Erin who paints sunsets.
Talesin is a (white, I think? I remember something about white, and it wasn't the gnoll) dragon who does sculptures.

Also, that's why I said you should do it for knowledge! Surely Fayd is willing to make sacrifices for the sake of expanding his knowledge?! He was raised by a wizard researcher! And, if it got really bad, you could just have Cade cut off the limb.

[Dragonfire]

Yes but then he would be Fayd One Eyed and One Armed. Dosen't work in a title. :smallamused:

[Eldariel]

Yes but then he would be Fayd One Eyed and One Armed. Dosen't work in a title. :smallamused:

On the flipside, he could say he is the One-Armed Boxer. Now we only need the Master of the Flying Guillotine here. [/Obscure, if obvious, reference]

[flabort]

fluffy said it tasted like paint... and it's trying to be absorbed into living flesh. how long did it take for him to get it out of his mouth?

and he could be "One half" fayd, if he lost his arm...

[Cade Rentyr]

fluffy said it tasted like paint... and it's trying to be absorbed into living flesh. how long did it take for him to get it out of his mouth?

and he could be "One half" fayd, if he lost his arm...

Or 'Half-Fayded'. :smalltongue:

[Morchana]

Or 'Half-Fayded'. :smalltongue:

Better than some other options I could think of, such as "Fayd, the Headless Mage". No. That would not be good. Stay away from sharp and pointy things, my friend!

[Eldariel]

Better than some other options I could think of, such as "Fayd, the Headless Mage". No. That would not be good. Stay away from sharp and pointy things, my friend!

How about "Fayd, the Head Mage"? I mean, that's how Beholders must've come to be.

[Beowulf DW]

I've been reading (and re-reading) this campaign journal, and I have come to the conclusion that you guys (and girls) are awesome.

One question: Is Morchana using some form of birth control? 'Cause she gets around...

[Morchana]

I've been reading (and re-reading) this campaign journal, and I have come to the conclusion that you guys (and girls) are awesome.

Why, thank-you. :smallsmile:


One question: Is Morchana using some form of birth control? 'Cause she gets around...

That was actually specifically addressed in campaign at one point, but we thought it unnecessary to put in the journals. Yes, Morchana is using birth control. That is how we found out someone was feeding some to the Grand Duchess-- Morchana recognized it. Thus we knew that someone really doesn't want the Grand Duke to have an heir. Yeah. :smallredface:

Also, interesting developments along that line came about last night, having to do with Morchana getting around. No, I will not tell-- yet. It will be vastly entertaining! :smallbiggrin:

[Beowulf DW]

OK, that explains quite a bit actually. Thanks.

[Fayd]

Chapter 23: A Premonition


We rest, as most of us are out of mana, or at least dangerously low. Over the course of the ‘night’, the sun… retrogrades. We arrive at dawn in reverse. It’s a little freaky for those on watch. Regardless, in the morning, we arise and begin discussing what exactly to do with the fire-paint-glob. Understandably, given the location we’ve just taken it from, we’re rather fearful of what it is and what it could do, potentially. Trying to take it with us would tremendously hamper our traveling speed without letting it glob into someone, but at the same time it seems too important to leave here… We spend far too long discussing what to do and in the meantime draw some interesting conclusions.

We are no longer fire-resistant and I decide to poke the blob, and in fact, would have let it absorb into me had the party not stopped me. The glob is ‘blood warm,’ but not harmful to the touch. Lossëlen uses divination magic to find out what exactly this thing is. The answer she comes up with? “Paint.” Paint that is, apparently, on fire, or made of fire, or paints fire or… you get the picture.

Speaking of pictures and paint and art, Lossëlen remembers one crucial detail: Lady Erin, the elven painter from Tiborem. If you weren’t already aware, the Burning Woods we just escaped used to be part of the Tentacled Jungle, homeland of a tribe of elves –the Lady Erin’s subrace, but combined with the fact that Morchana distinctly remembers a rather unique paintbrush --that, come to think of it, I think I might’ve once pinged as magical-- as well as the knowledge that Erin paints a sunset every single evening… Furthermore, we’ve just experienced a rather… unique phenomenon with the sun --a big ball of fire-- travelling the wrong direction through the sky. Bottom line, cue enormous burst of rampant theorizing. We’ve got too many questions and not enough information, but it seems almost certain Lady Erin is involved here.

Unfortunately, that conclusion doesn’t help us move forward with our present dilemma. We spend some more time debating what the purpose behind keeping the Burning Woods burning might be --popular ideas being keeping something very important hidden or keeping devourers (or something worse) contained-- but that doesn’t prove fruitful either.

We turn to the nature of its origin and try to figure out who (or what) made this thing, and only come up with a rather odd answer. We can tell that it is not elven and it doesn’t have that “I’m inimical to all life and have more wiggly appendages than I should” vibe that Devourer magic (and architecture… and art… and biology) has. This leaves us with an unlikely candidate, but “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” It’s Varaz… a people supposedly extinct (or at the very least on their way out) … we think. It’s our best guess anyway. Not that that tells us much; the Varaz were exceptionally great magic-wielders, and they were almost if not exterminated fighting against the orcish, undead, and dragonish hordes the last time the world ended, but no one can figure out why they would try to create the Burning Woods. Somewhere along the way we apply the religious route and discover that there’s a large component of ANGER to the magic of the glob. Unfortunately, the list of deities associated with ‘anger’ is long and varied, from God of Noble Knights to God of the Predatory Undead, from righteous indignation to Favored Enemies to spiteful vengeance to abhorrence of all things living. And we can’t tell the difference with this thing.

The party is sharply divided. Fluffy is terribly bored and wants to move on. Keito is almost completely silent as usual, but Morchana wants nothing to do with it. Lossëlen agrees, and offers to fly it back with me, but I strongly want my master to see this. It seems much too important to leave behind.

Suddenly, right in the middle of this discussion, Cade reaches up, grabs the glob and calmly marches off.

:smalleek:

The rest of the party hurries to catch up, as he seems to be heading out for our next destination. A couple of us ask to make sure he knows what he’s doing, and he only replies that he’s conferred with his celestial familiar and that we needed to quit wasting time. I do have to note, however, that he keeps his eyes level and forward, explicitly avoiding watching the glob crawl up his arm and seep under his armor…

After a minute, the orb has fully melded to Cade. He now has stylized flame tattoos running along his right arm and across his chest, and a host of other fun effects. Cade is the new Bearer of the Heart of the Burning Woods; he has Resist Fire and Cold 20, is completely comfortable in either extreme temperature, and he can ignite any weapon he wields (including arrows and the dripping-holy-water Weeping Blade) for extra fire damage. In addition, the Heart has its own caster level, MPM and mana pool, which can only be used for (specialized) fire spells.

Meanwhile, the whole time that the flame has been fusing with Cade, the fire in the Burning woods has been slowly weakening, and as we walk away all of the trees of the Burning Woods --all of them-- turn towards Cade’s back, as if reaching for him. Once the fusion completes, the trees experience the 150 years of burning they had thus far ignored… all in an instant. The entire forest suddenly and completely dusts. Courtesy of Lossëlen, we rechristen the ash field “The Ashen Waste” which, come to think about it, will probably be a great irony in 50 years or so as the land will be quite fertile. The ash from the trees drifts straight down to the ground as there has not been so much as a breath of wind all day.

We get part of the way to River’s Bend, where we CAN see fighting. At least, we can make out volleys of arrows flying back and forth. The fact that the battle is at least still waging is a hopeful sign, but there’s nothing we can really do from our current distance, so Cade sends a messenger to Connaught asking for a status update. The return note is scrawled in wild handwriting, as Connaught “CAN’T TALK LONG --BUSY FIGHTING GHOSTDANCERS!” The note informs us that the Knights have managed to give (and take) heavy losses against the orc shamans, but Connaught feels that he can hold.

With this reassurance, we set up camp for the night. Cade notices that he has not felt hungry all day, which is rather unnerving. So, he takes out a bit of his jerky and bites into it. Another property of the Heart of the Burning Woods reveals itself; Cade does not need to eat or drink anymore --indeed, cannot, as the food or drink turns to ash in his mouth.

Meanwhile, Lossëlen begins work on what she hopes to make her life project: creating a tree that bears every kind of fruit in existence. She experiments with some of the seeds she bought in town, specifically seeds from a banana, peach, and pear. Strangely, instead of producing a plant that produces three distinct fruits, she ended up with a tree that created a single gestalt fruit. She offers the first bananapeachpear to Cade, who obligingly takes a big bite. She rolled REALLY well on spellcraft and the fruit was a lovely fusion of the three: slightly fuzzy, slightly oblong, slightly wider on one end than the other. Cade hides the fact that he can’t actually TASTE the bananapeachpear and covertly spits out the ash when Lossëlen is not paying attention. I however am intently curious about this fruit myself, and request to try one myself. It tastes like a smoothie, which, given the ingredients, is pretty good.

When we settle down for the night, with standard watch procedure, I put a ward around the outside of camp to detect for medium sized creatures or above. It will create a bright blue flash and a clap of thunder (a quiet clap, comparatively) if any cross the line. Yes, even you Keito! :smallfurious:
During the night, Cade has an uneventful watch. Morchana however. . .
Switching perspectives now to Morchana. . .

My watch has barely begun when there is a large FLASH! from the ward around the camp. I turn, only to see an elf with bone-white hair and pale sunny yellow clothing standing at the edge of the camp. She looks around and says “I didn’t expect that.” and walks over to me. The flash had woken everyone else, and they all look over at the two of us, utterly bewildered. All but Keito gets up, and the elf looked around at them. “Who are your friends?” she asks.

“They are my friends.” I reply, deliberately. Fluffy walks over and tries to lick her, and suddenly finds an arrow pointing at his throat. The elf looks him up and down in disdain.

“You gave up gnolls for this?” she asks, incredulous.

“Of course not—I have better taste than this. I gave up gnolls for something far better!” I reply, gesturing to Fluffy to back off. For once, he obeys and decides licking elves is not a good plan. The elf lowers her bow and turns to me.

“Who are you? Cade asks.

The elf ignores him. “I’ve come to bring you back. Your mother misses you dearly.”

“I’m not going.”

“Oh, but you are. You can come willingly now, or we can bring you later, but you are coming.”

Lossëlen perks up. “You’re going home, Morchana? Can I come too?”
The elf smiles at her, “Yes, of course. You would be a welcome guest.” She purrs. This is not going well.

“Your name and purpose?” Cade asks again, a little more emphatically.
She turns to him and says “I am the West Wind. I was sent on ahead because they thought I might be able to persuade you without bloodshed.” As if that explains everything to him, she turns back to me. “You should make ready to leave.”

“I am not going with you.” At this, Keito tries to covertly draw her arbalest and finds the West Wind’s arrow readied and pointing at her. I motion impatiently at them both to knock it off, and turn back to the West Wind.

“Oh, but you are.” She replies, as if nothing had happened. After that stunt you pulled when you ran away, you should be grateful to your mother for being so merciful as to let you return unharmed.”

“I didn’t escape twice and kill two of my people to simply trot back at your heels. I am not going.”

“The South wind was impressed with your knifework, but you are no match for us.”

“I have learned much since then.”

“But not enough. Either you can come with us now, and your friends will live, or you will come with later and your friends will never leave.” At this, Lossëlen draws her bow and Cade draws his sabers.

“I think not. We have a siege to lift.” His hands ignite. (*Facepalm*) I motion them down, and turn back to the West Wind.

She smiles at me. “I can see you are busy and have business to attend to. We could let you go lift that siege, then once you have fulfilled that, you can come with us, and leave all of your friends safe here. No one will die, and everything will be easy.”

“No.”

Her gaze darkens. “I don’t think you understand. You ARE coming with us. Either you come willingly, or your friends die, and you come back in chains.”

“I don’t think you understand me. I am not going back, ever. You can just get back on your pretty horses, ride back, and tell my bitch of a mother that I will never return, no matter how many enticements or threats she sends my way!”

The West Wind shakes her head. “I suppose I will have to wait until numbers are on my side, then.” She says, and vanishes as suddenly as she appeared into the night. Off to the south, where all had been silent before, we suddenly hear the howling of hounds. Gnolls. What had only been a lingering whisper in the back of my mind is now heard by everyone.

We hurriedly pack up camp and make for a little hill crowned by trees about an hour’s trudge ahead. Along the way, Cade and Fayd ask me who the elf was, and what, exactly, we can expect for greater numbers. I explain that these elves are the Four Winds, four elite elven knights in the service of my mother, the Matriarch and Pack Mother of my people. She is obsessed with pure bloodlines, which in turn led me to run away—twice now. So, she has sent the four winds after me, the North, dressed in icy blue, a knight who carries an icy sword with blood frozen in it; the East, dressed in imperial purple, a mage; the South, dressed in earthy red, a rogue who fights with knives; and the West, dressed in wan sunny yellow, the archer who came into camp. They are all my mentors and teachers, and will be accompanied by a pack of twenty tracking gnolls. There is no where we can hide, and no way we can escape. We will fight them, and we may lose.

Once there, Cade taps the Heart to try setting up a line of Fireball traps set to detonate if more than 4 enemies are in range or if they cross a line and we all bunker down to rest as much as we can. Those of us with mana to recharge sleep for the four hours until dawn. I myself, needing no sleep, simply sit, waiting, at the base of one of the trees, watching the south, my saber and a dagger drawn and laid across my lap. As day breaks, we can see them off in the distance, rapidly closing in. As Cade mounts Ignisibrae, fiery wings suddenly sprout from his shoulders and the Weeping Blade suddenly bursts into flame and begins to drip blood. Across the field, the North Wind also grows wings and turns even paler and colder looking than she did before. She draws her sword, and it begins to drip blood and tears. A voice from the heavens speaks... in tones that sound like the voice was or is crying… “Every one-hundred years, they meet, they fight, and one dies.” All around us, it is dawn, save for a small circle containing the duelists. In that circle, it is dusk. I rise, and we all prepare to meet our fates, one way or another.

[Eldariel]

It kinda feels like your campaign journal ended in the last chapter and we're now amidst some manner of surrealist painting. Things stopped making sense about a page ago. Let's see if we get back to reality some time soon or if things decide to take off some more. It can be pestersome when things begin to act all on their own, and yet somehow mystically enthralling to see them seek their natural places without intervention.

Also, I don't know what I'm talking about.

[RdMarquis]

I know things are getting tense and all, but I just want to comment that Losselen's chimera fruit sounds pretty tasty.

On a more serious note, are those wings and flaming swords part of some kind ritual, or a side effect of that paint glob?

[Fayd]

Some kind of freaky ritual... related to the Weeping Blade, actually.

[Cisturn]

ha, i cant wait to see this fight, GO CADE!

[AtwasAwamps]

So...I'm making a bard character and I've been practicing spontaneous poetry and chanting and so on and so forth for the roleplaying side of it. The surrealist and somehow still epic imagery in your story created what comes next. I blame you for it.

The Duel of Tears

They stain the earth—red, wet
And heavy ‘gainst the hands they rest.
Twins, long parted, meet again
Through actions not their own.

And so meeting shall they
Meet once more, cheek to cheek
Tear to tear and blood to blood
Steel to steel and then to flesh

Till one falls and the sky is rent
With weeping, grief, and fury.
Silent sleep takes over and a century
Shall knit o’er the field of battle.

Every century they meet, they fight,
One dies.

Both live.

~AA

EDIT: Hey Cade. Good luck ;)

[Fayd]

AA... that was kind of amazing. Spontaneous, you say? Nicely done.

Also, I want to clarify something. Cade's swords being on fire is the result of the Heart of the Burning Woods. The wings and suddenly gaining three levels (yes, that happened) comes from the Weeping Blade and it's upcoming duel with the North Wind, the now-vampiress wielder of the Bleeding Blade.

[flabort]

So, two intertwined blades cursed to fight every hundred years, wielded by the Bearer of the Heart of the Burning Woods, and his polar opposite.

seriously, he's a paladin, she's (now) a vampiress, he controls the flame, she the ice, he's a human, she an elf, he's a guy, she a girl.

polar opposites, caught in an epic battle. and thier trapped in a circle of dusk, free from distraction from thier duel.

AAAAWWSOOOOooo...*gasp*...oooOOOOME!

[Beowulf DW]

It sounds like Cade is some kind of reincarnation; like the Weeping Blade and its twin manipulate events so that their wielders will be perfect opponents for one another.

[Fayd]

Let us also not forget Lady Morchana, now forced to fight her oldest friends and mentors to avoid a fate worse than death... but I leave details of that for her to tell. It isn't my place to tell the story of the Shadowed One.

All in all, an epic fight approaches for all.

[Beowulf DW]

Let us also not forget Lady Morchana, now forced to fight her oldest friends and mentors to avoid a fate worse than death... but I leave details of that for her to tell. It isn't my place to tell the story of the Shadowed One.

All in all, an epic fight approaches for all.

If the other "Winds" have skills that are similar to other party members, this could be one of those "mirror" fights. You know: the fights where the heroes face-off against opponents who utilize similar abilities.

Morchana vs. the South Wind seems likely in that case.

I bet Fluffy gets to handle the gnolls. Fluffy's likely reaction (I hope): "PUPPIES!!!"

[AtwasAwamps]

AA... that was kind of amazing. Spontaneous, you say? Nicely done.



Was okay. The rhythm is off a bit and I'm afraid it's a bit more "OH I'M SO GLOOMY LOOK AT ME" than I wanted it to be, but it has a level of the tone and flow I was looking for. I haven't really written poetry in a while, so once in a while something will strike me and I'll get interested in it. Glad you liked it.

[absolmorph]

See? I KNEW that glob was safe! I knew it!
Also, the image of Cade I now have in my head is really, really EPIC. With a double capital E. Or something. I don't know. I just know it looks awesome, and this has been really fun to read.

[Fayd]

Yes. You're very smart.

This, by the way, demonstrates our small problem with loot nicely. We're trying to get better. Really.

[Eldariel]

See? I KNEW that glob was safe! I knew it!
Also, the image of Cade I now have in my head is really, really EPIC. With a double capital E. Or something. I don't know. I just know it looks awesome, and this has been really fun to read.

Considering the whole "unnatural flames"-part and repeating history and duel to the death and all that, I'm not sure safe is exactly the word I'd choose.

[absolmorph]

Considering the whole "unnatural flames"-part and repeating history and duel to the death and all that, I'm not sure safe is exactly the word I'd choose.
Oh, details. Allowing the ball of paint to fully meld with him didn't hurt Cade. North Wind is a totally different bag of worms.

[Crosswinds]

Man...I want some of what Cade's having, there.

I'll need to work something along those lines in next time it's my turn to DM.

[absolmorph]

Man...I want some of what Cade's having, there.

I'll need to work something along those lines in next time it's my turn to DM.
I'm trying to decide how I'll be using some of the stuff in here for my game.
It's also caused me to consider running an E6 game myself. Possibly using a world that some other people on this board came up with.

[Morchana]

If the other "Winds" have skills that are similar to other party members, this could be one of those "mirror" fights. You know: the fights where the heroes face-off against opponents who utilize similar abilities.

Morchana vs. the South Wind seems likely in that case.

Well, that would appear to be the plan, but we'll see soon there are other things getting in the way there. . .

[flabort]

"Cade is on FIRE"!!!

NICE riddle. and fruit that tastes like paint, that's Cade's new sense of taste!

Awsome hiding it all.

made it all the more EEpiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic for me.

[Morchana]

The fruit did not taste like paint. It tasted like a banana-peach-pear smoothie. :smallsmile:

[flabort]

but everything tastes like paint and turns to ash in cades mouth...

or so it was writen.

[Kaulesh]

but everything tastes like paint and turns to ash in cades mouth...

or so it was writen.

He can't taste it and it turns to ash. The only time the taste of paint is mentioned is when Fluffy licks it.

[Fluffy the Orc]

You know... I'm kind of surprised that no one has mentioned Morchana's back-story yet. Here we have 4 epic level enemies (the Four Winds) who are ready to capture Morchana, kill the rest of us, and leave the countryside to burn to the ground.

Isn't anyone the least bit curious what that is all about?

[Beowulf DW]

You know... I'm kind of surprised that no one has mentioned Morchana's back-story yet. Here we have 4 epic level enemies (the Four Winds) who are ready to capture Morchana, kill the rest of us, and leave the countryside to burn to the ground.

Isn't anyone the least bit curious what that is all about?

Of course I'm curious, but I can already infer quite a bit:
-Morchana is a kind of elf princess
-Her mother wants her to marry a gnoll for purity of race/bloodline
-Morchana doesn't like the idea of doing the nasty with a hyena-man-thing, so she ran away twice and killed some people in the process
-Morchana's mother is an evil bitch who, whether she knows it or not, is attempting to facillitate the rape of her own daughter.

[Fayd]

-Morchana's mother is an evil bitch who, whether she knows it or not, is attempting to facillitate the rape of her own daughter.

Interesting choice of term, by the way. It is a high insult for elves to be called bitch. More so than in our society. Because it is a term applicable in more than just the vulgar sense... it is applicable in the literal biological sense, and that is a disturbing reality.

[Snowstar]

Hey! That's MY backstory!!!

[RdMarquis]

Interesting choice of term, by the way. It is a high insult for elves to be called bitch. More so than in our society. Because it is a term applicable in more than just the vulgar sense... it is applicable in the literal biological sense, and that is a disturbing reality.

I thought gnolls were bipedal hyenas, not dogs (though it would explain the lack of laughter.)


Hey! That's MY backstory!!!

Well, it leaves the possibility of some moment in the future for you to reveal that you're her sister or something ("NO! That's not true! That's impossibl-oh, wait, that doesn't really make sense, you're one of my closest friends.")

[Fayd]

I thought gnolls were bipedal hyenas, not dogs (though it would explain the lack of laughter.)

More wolf than hyena, owing to the more European-forest setting of where we are from what I understand.

[Fluffy the Orc]

Of course I'm curious, but I can already infer quite a bit:
-Morchana is a kind of elf princess
-Her mother wants her to marry a gnoll for purity of race/bloodline
-Morchana doesn't like the idea of doing the nasty with a hyena-man-thing, so she ran away twice and killed some people in the process
-Morchana's mother is an evil bitch who, whether she knows it or not, is attempting to facillitate the rape of her own daughter.

Uh, yeah. Actually that pretty much nails it on the head. :smalltongue:

[absolmorph]

We're good readers :smallsmile:

[Beowulf DW]

Interesting choice of term, by the way. It is a high insult for elves to be called bitch. More so than in our society. Because it is a term applicable in more than just the vulgar sense... it is applicable in the literal biological sense, and that is a disturbing reality.

Uh...yeah. I totally meant it that way. Yep.:smallcool:

[Morchana]

Hey! That's MY backstory!!!

I will take this moment to point out that your mother did NOT lock you up for a couple of months with a gnoll, and that you got away on your first try.

I will also point out that your intended is semi-intelligent, and is the only one pursuing you now. I've got Four Winds and a pack of tracking gnolls. :smalleek:

[Thomo]

I will take this moment to point out that your mother did NOT lock you up for a couple of months with a gnoll, and that you got away on your first try.

I will also point out that your intended is semi-intelligent, and is the only one pursuing you now. I've got Four Winds and a pack of tracking gnolls. :smalleek:

Well, you do admittedly have quite an impressive...charisma score :smallamused:

[Fayd]

Well, you do admittedly have quite an impressive...charisma score :smallamused:

And let's not forget the impressive arsenal of daggers. And the huge supply of poisons. Which, by the way, don't suck.

[flabort]

Well, well, well, two elven princesses of different tribes, running away from home. isn't there a prophessy involving thier un-holy union in a les wedding forming the purest being who would return they elven males to thier true form?

[Fayd]

Well, well, well, two elven princesses of different tribes, running away from home. isn't there a prophessy involving thier un-holy union in a les wedding forming the purest being who would return they elven males to thier true form?

:smallconfused:

[Morchana]

I would think NOT. Morchana very much likes human males, thank-you-very-much. It's most of why she went into the business she did.

Losselen also likes Cade.

There is no prophecy.:smallannoyed:

[AtwasAwamps]

Well, well, well, two elven princesses of different tribes, running away from home. isn't there a prophessy involving thier un-holy union in a les wedding forming the purest being who would return they elven males to thier true form?

AHAHAHAHAHA.

Yes.

So wait, what are the current shipping pairs we've created here?

Morch/Cade
Morch/Lossie
Fluffy/Morch
Fluffy/Cade
Cade/Fayd (it rhymes)
Lossie/Keito
Keito/Fayd
Fayd/Box of Donuts

[Morchana]

AHAHAHAHAHA.

Yes.

So wait, what are the current shipping pairs we've created here?

Morch/Cade
Morch/Lossie
Fluffy/Morch
Fluffy/Cade
Cade/Fayd (it rhymes)
Lossie/Keito
Keito/Fayd
Fayd/Box of Donuts

You know, I'm kinda surprised at the obvious ones that AREN'T there. Just sayin'. :smallsmile:

[AtwasAwamps]

You know, I'm kinda surprised at the obvious ones that AREN'T there. Just sayin'. :smallsmile:

If it was obvious, it's not shipping done right! (and Fay/Box o' Donuts is pretty obvious, that donut-loving outsider!)

Okay, to actually talk about the storyline instead of who's sleeping with what, I'm currently trying to piece together backstories. We've seen a ton of Cade's, some of Lossies, some of Fayd's, Fluffy doesn't really need one.

The folks we haven't really seen a lot of backstory from are Morchie and Keito (Katy?), so I'm actually pretty excited to see some crazy stuff crop up from our resident murderer with a heart of murdering/bootycalls. Out of curiosity, is there some more about the four winds that could be dropped on us? I'm excessively curious about mysterious badasses who raised my favorite mysterious badass.

[RdMarquis]

Losselen also likes Cade.

And now that he's absorbed that paint blob, they have an opposite (elements) attract thing going on. :smallwink:

Which reminds me.

Morch/Cade 5:1
Morch/Lossie 100:1
Fluffy/Morch 10:1
Fluffy/Cade 50:1
Cade/Fayd (it rhymes) 45:1
Lossie/Keito 40:1
Keito/Fayd 3:1
Fayd/Box of Donuts 1:1

I'm now taking bets (GP or magic items, please). And, yeah, I realize that's probably not how most odds work. Oh, well. :smalltongue:

[Eldariel]

Morchie

Morchana really dislikes that nickname because of how it sounds; if you value your life, I suggest you stick to the whole name or just Morch. Believe me, I tried.

[AtwasAwamps]

Morchana really dislikes that nickname because of how it sounds; if you value your life, I suggest you stick to the whole name or just Morch. Believe me, I tried.

Can I call her Banana?

[Eldariel]

Can I call her Banana?

Uh, I don't see how that fits but as I value my vitals, I'd rather let her answer. For what it's worth, isn't "Peach" or something better?

[AtwasAwamps]

Uh, I don't see how that fits but as I value my vitals, I'd rather let her answer. For what it's worth, isn't "Peach" or something better?

Peachsassin is not as awesome as Bananassassin. Or however it would be spelled.

[Snowstar]

Banana-peach-pear-assassin! Please tell me you saw that coming. :smalltongue:

If anyone wants to know about my backstory, just ask. I'm very open about it, it's just that no one asks.

[Eldariel]

Banana-peach-pear-assassin! Please tell me you saw that coming. :smalltongue:

If anyone wants to know about my backstory, just ask. I'm very open about it, it's just that no one asks.

[/*asks*]

EDIT: Wait, Morchanafruit? That sounds wrong :smalltongue:

EDIT#2: PM me if you don't want to clog up this thread with it. Either way, the expression of interest is genuine.

[RdMarquis]

EDIT: Wait, Morchanafruit? That sounds wrong :smalltongue:

Well, maybe if it was poisonous and sharp, the name would be more appropriate. I just got the mental image of a plant with lots of little dagger-shaped berries.

[Fluffy the Orc]

So wait, what are the current shipping pairs we've created here?

Morch/Cade
Morch/Lossie
Fluffy/Morch
Fluffy/Cade
Cade/Fayd (it rhymes)
Lossie/Keito
Keito/Fayd
Fayd/Box of Donuts


Fayd/Box of Donuts - Hahahahaha!



You know, I'm kinda surprised at the obvious ones that AREN'T there.


Fluffy/Box of Donuts



If anyone wants to know about my backstory, just ask. I'm very open about it, it's just that no one asks.


Yes, Losselen; please fill us in.



Well, maybe if it was poisonous and sharp, the name would be more appropriate. I just got the mental image of a plant with lots of little dagger-shaped berries.


My thoughts exactly. :smallsmile:

[Snowstar]

Here you go:

I was born in the caves of the Northern Kingdom in the mountains, just days before the Festival of Snowflakes. My mother was the sweet and gracious old queen of the Northerners and my father, the most gentle and wise of all gnolls, was king. Even though I was not the oldest of my twenty-seven sisters, I was told for as long as I can remember that I would one day be queen. The elves of my tribe inherent their birthright via the time of year they were born, whereas humans tend to obsess over birth order. Since I entered the world so close to the holy festival, I was named Lossëlen, after the star that marks the eve of festivities.

As a princess, I was educated just like my sisters. We were all taught how to use a bow, to ride, to be gracious princesses, and most importantly, the history of our kingdom. Personally, I found my lessons dull and was frequently distracted. The only thing I was really interested in was learning to be a spell caster, and my father humored me in it. I do remember my history lessons quite well, though:

Long ago, the Kingdoms of the Caves were united as one peaceful and prosperous community. The snowy elves of the past shared the magical power of the land and guarded the sacred talisman of the people. It is said that whosoever possesses the talisman would either be able to control the magic of the kingdom, or have command of a greater power that no one has ever imagined. We are uncertain, though, because the talisman has never been tested or used in any way. The reason for this is because the peaceful elves of the past saw no need to wield it unless the kingdom was in great need. Eventually, one of the elf queens of the past gave birth to twins on the day of the Snowstar. Both the son and daughter would by law inherit the kingdom and the talisman. The siblings came to hate each other out of jealousy and proceeded to split the kingdom and break the talisman in half. A civil war ensued and those with opposing viewpoints took sides. The peaceful kingdom was now split into a Northern Kingdom, in which half of the talisman was passed from the queen to the princess, in the form of a necklace, and the Southern Kingdom, in which the other half of the talisman was passed down from the king to the prince, in the form of a ring. The political schism grew over the years as Northerners and Southerners developed their own accents, customs, and beliefs.

My mother and father sought to unite the two kingdoms and reforge the talisman so that the elves would regain their power. They envisioned a future without the tension and frequent boarder disputes that we must endure now. Most of all, my parents thought that once the talisman was made whole, the power could be used for good. Their plan of course was for me to marry the prince of the Southern Kingdom, Prince Winterblade. I was a little unnerved about this at first, but the worse was yet to come.

My parents arranged a formal dinner as my first meeting with the Prince. The wedding was already planned, I just needed to see my fiance once before the ceremony, as is customary in the South. Dinner was tense and awkward. As the night wore on, I began to see more and more in him that I did not like. It was clear that he was a selfish, alcoholic, and abusive gnoll that only wanted my half of the talisman and maybe some bedroom favors from me on the side. Although he would not dare try anything with my personal guards there, he waited until I was alone in my room that night. One minute I am brushing my hair in the mirror and the next, I am pinned against a wall with broken glass and all my things in a scattered mess around me. He had me by the throat and demanded that I give him the necklace. Fortunately, my mother still had it, as I was not yet married. The smell of alcohol that emanated from him overwhelmed the cave. I lay shaking in a corner as he clumsily searches my room, tearing through years of memories in my cabinets and jewelery boxes. When his fruitless search ended, he struck me once more and said that he will eventually have the whole talisman so that he can have the power to bring all kingdoms under his vicious rule; there was nothing I could do.

For the many nights leading up to my wedding, I contemplated my plan to stop the Prince from getting my people's necklace. On the eve of the wedding day, the talisman was passed down to me during a private ceremony involving my parents and many, many siblings. Not one of them knew that I was planning to run away, or even what had happened between the gnoll prince and I. That night, I packed a few things I thought an adventurer would need, and for the first time in my life I left the icy caves, taking the talisman half with me.

That night was the hottest I had ever survived. Small, but bright lights beat down on me from the ceiling and strange, colorful snowflakes were scattered on the ground. I missed the security of my cave, but I allowed myself no comfort or mental pity. I had to keep running. Eventually, I met another elf like me. Her name was Morchana and she had just returned from an assassination of some sort...

[Fayd]

In the department of trivia: Due to the flexibility of the magic system, Tam is having us pre-calculate our spells (minus dice rolls, of course) and except for some small cases, my spells follow the Final Fantasy naming convention. This is, in part, because the naming convention WORKS, and also because I took the name Fayd from a Final Fantasy game. (SUCK BOLT III DEMONS!)

NOW YOU KNOW....

[Beowulf DW]

NOW YOU KNOW....

And knowing is half the battle.

...What?

[Fayd]

And knowing is half the battle.

...What?

YOU HAVE NO IDEA! MWHAHAHAHAHA! :smallbiggrin:

[Cisturn]

hey sorry if this has already been addressed but what level is your party?

[Fayd]

We just hit 6th... Epic level in Tam's system...

Of course, at the most current point in the journal, we're 5, but...

[Morchana]

Banana-peach-pear-assassin! Please tell me you saw that coming. :smalltongue:

If anyone wants to know about my backstory, just ask. I'm very open about it, it's just that no one asks.

YES! Banana-peach-pear-assassin!!!

But yes, please no Morchie. Please, no. And while bananassassin is funnier, peachassassin is more appropriate for a lady like Morchana.

And you will hear more about the Four Winds. I promise.

(Good heavens. . . I leave for a couple of days to shoot and all sorts of fun things and speculations pop up about Morchana!)

[Eldariel]

YES! Banana-peach-pear-assassin!!!

But yes, please no Morchie. Please, no. And while bananassassin is funnier, peachassassin is more appropriate for a lady like Morchana.

And you will hear more about the Four Winds. I promise.

(Good heavens. . . I leave for a couple of days to shoot and all sorts of fun things and speculations pop up about Morchana!)

Y'know, Peachsassin may not be visually appealing, but it does have a ring to it. I actually like the sound much more than Bananassassin in any of its incarnations; it flows off the tongue quite naturally. Kinda weird how the word manages to sound so natural while looking so weird; I guess it's the "chs"-combination that doesn't really appear in English. If only we typed in phonetics...


@Lossie: Sad story, though I don't see how it could really have happened any differently. Well, you've managed quite well, it seems, especially compared to the initial departure from the cave. Truly, the elvenkind as it appears right now doesn't exactly appear as glamorous as one might expect. Any chance we'll hear more details on the initial encounter between Morchana and you?

[Snowstar]

I left my story where it was, because shortly thereafter we ended up in a tavern and met the rest of the party. I think the details of the assassination concerns Morchana more that it does me. Personally, I've just been going with the flow of things ever since.

[Fluffy the Orc]

Whoa! Losselen; that backstory was REALLY COOL! I kind of have an idea about a lot of the backstories of our party members, but I hadn't heard much of yours until now.

[Snowstar]

Thanks! I thought I had told Cade most of it when we were first being tracked by the Icy Gnoll, but I left out a lot of little details.

[Eldariel]

I left my story where it was, because shortly thereafter we ended up in a tavern and met the rest of the party. I think the details of the assassination concerns Morchana more that it does me. Personally, I've just been going with the flow of things ever since.

Yeah, I was thinking you two met each other before you met the party so I figured I'd ask what you'd been doing before then; how you bonded and all (and whether you found out about Morchana's...sharp tendencies immediately or at some point?). Of course, I may just be completely misconstruing the events here.

[flabort]

And so the playgrounds thoughts drifted from riddles, and returned to shipping.

Cade/North wind
Fayd/Peachsassin/hunting gnoll
icy gnoll/snowstar/fluffy


who was taking bets?
I'll put a donut on fluffy/morchana.

[Eternal Drifter]

This lurker has finally entered to say...

Fluffy is not bright enough to be worthy of that elf!

I've been lurking for about three months, and only joined the Playground in the last month. An interesting and entertaining campaign, to say the least.

K, back to lurking...

[RdMarquis]

who was taking bets?
I'll put a donut on fluffy/morchana.

That was me. Normally I only take GP or magic items, but I have a sweet tooth. Your odds are 10:1, but considering it's a crack pairing, I'll count any instance of Fluffy and Morchana having "a moment" or doing something romantic in your favor. They don't have to run off and raise little elf-orc kids. Thank you for your patronage. :smallwink:

[Fayd]

That was me. Normally I only take GP or magic items, but I have a sweet tooth. Your odds are 10:1, but considering it's a crack pairing, I'll count any instance of Fluffy and Morchana having "a moment" or doing something romantic in your favor. They don't have to run off and raise little elf-orc kids. Thank you for your patronage. :smallwink:

*Laugh's maniacally* :smallbiggrin: MWHAHAHAHA!

[dukexx]

This is really a rather impressive campaign. And presented very well too. Though I must wonder, how was Fluffy not given a Franken-fruit?

[Morchana]

Any chance we'll hear more details on the initial encounter between Morchana and you?

Well, we did meet a little while before the tavern, but not too long. And we did meet in a tavern-- a different one. I felt a little bit of sympathy for the poor lost little snowy thing, she was obviously royalty, and could probably be really useful. So I took her in.

Somehow, we are really close-- probably because Lossie is too absent-minded to notice Morchana is evil, and Morchana needs someone to confide in. :smallsmile:

[AtwasAwamps]

And while bananassassin is funnier, peachassassin is more appropriate for a lady like Morchana.



Hehehehe...hehehehehehehehehehehehe...


I DUB THEEE....


SASSY PEACHES!

[Snowstar]

poor lost little snowy thing

And that new drifter lurker looks just like Elan!!! :smallbiggrin:

[Fayd]

This is really a rather impressive campaign. And presented very well too. Though I must wonder, how was Fluffy not given a Franken-fruit?

Huh. That was a missed opportunity. Though to be fair, taste isn't exactly something that is important to him. Mostly, the only thing he asks is "is it edible?" which, for orcs, is more frequently yes than no.

[Cade Rentyr]

Huh. That was a missed opportunity. Though to be fair, taste isn't exactly something that is important to him. Mostly, the only thing he asks is "is it edible?" which, for orcs, is more frequently yes than no.

'Edible'? When has Fluffy ever stopped to ask whether he can eat something before trying it? I submit the Heart of the Burning Woods, which shouldn't have looked at all 'edible'.

I'll have more to comment about recent topics when I have time to resume idle thought.

[Fayd]

'Edible'? When has Fluffy ever stopped to ask whether he can eat something before trying it? I submit the Heart of the Burning Woods, which shouldn't have looked at all 'edible'.

I'll have more to comment about recent topics when I have time to resume idle thought.

Counterpoint: What an orc considers edible and what a human considers edible are two very different things. What Fluffy considers edible and what orcs consider edible. . . well, while not QUITE as different, Fluffy is a little more open to . . . interesting culinary options . . . than most.

[Morchana]

Counterpoint: What an orc considers edible and what a human considers edible are two very different things. What Fluffy considers edible and what orcs consider edible. . . well, while not QUITE as different, Fluffy is a little more open to . . . interesting culinary options . . . than most.

I seem to recall the iron bars of Fluffy's jail cell, for one. . .

At least he hasn't yet tried to eat anyone. At least not yet.

[Cute_Riolu]

Hey, I find your system really interesting. Whenever it stabilizes, would you mind explaining how the mana and stuff works? I think I might like to use it some time...

[Kaulesh]

I bet Fluffy would do well with a Bag of Halflings. (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Bag_of_Halflings_(3.5e_Equipment)) A potent weapon as well as a filling snack.

[Morchana]

I bet Fluffy would do well with a Bag of Halflings. (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Bag_of_Halflings_(3.5e_Equipment)) A potent weapon as well as a filling snack.

That's terrible! Also, there are no halfings in this particular world, sadly. Tam nipped the idea to have an entirely small-sized party at some point in the bud. Oh well, the plan was fun while it lasted!

[flabort]

so if there WAS halflings, there would be a 25% chance that a thrown one would get angry at you...

Glad that there isn't!

[absolmorph]

Hey, I find your system really interesting. Whenever it stabilizes, would you mind explaining how the mana and stuff works? I think I might like to use it some time...
I'm also interested in this. I may be running an E6 campaign at some point, and Tam's system seems to work quite well. Tam probably helps keep it running smoothly, of course, but it looks like it could be fun.

[Fayd]

Next chance I get, I'll ask Tam if I can write this up for you guys. . . in addition to the next 2 chapters. They're coming, I promise. Life has just been... interesting... lately.

[AtwasAwamps]

Next chance I get, I'll ask Tam if I can write this up for you guys. . . in addition to the next 2 chapters. They're coming, I promise. Life has just been... interesting... lately.

Okay, which one of you got a girlfriend?

It was obviously Morchana.

[flabort]

No, they found a REAL paint-blob thing, and now thier debating wether th have Cade's player absorb it.

[Fayd]

Okay, which one of you got a girlfriend?

It was obviously Morchana.

Entirely the wrong kind of interesting. I would have enjoyed that kind of interesting.