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oxinabox
2009-09-16, 12:07 AM
Ok one of my DM's really weird about handing out information.
We were fighting monsters, an no magic was working on them.
inc magic weapons
eventually one of us asked him to describe them in detail
and he says "Each one is a different color..."
An we all goan, clearly the coulour says wich element thry are protrected from/vunerable too.
but since none of un asked "hey what colour are the monsters?" we didn't pick up on it.
We I say "Surely we should be informed of anything relevant to the combat like that? can't we see?"
He provide the couter example:
DM:"Ahead of you is a black pudding ooze, behind it is your goal"
ME: I fly over it
DM: You can't fly
ME: I burrow under it
DM: you can't burrow
ME: I shoot at it
DM: you have no weapons
ME: I give up and go home
DM: You walk arround it.
ME: Why didn't you day it didn't block the whole path?
DM: Why didn't you ask?

this same DM has blocked us with a locked sliding rock door, that we couldn't open.
So I cut through it.
turns out there was a button next to it, but "we didn't ask"

His faverate puzzle of all time involved a gem that was stuck to an alter.
the Dwarf fighter tried to pull it out
insibed on the alter, on thew far side (we walked around it to see it)
was "Strength is not the way"
We then Puzzle for ages, the Psion tried to life it with telekinesis.
And we try smashign the alter and a stack of things
we're like "there was writting on the other side? why didn't we notice?"
DM: "You didn't ask"
So we read it: "Intelligence is not the answer" (this is readily aprrent by now)
Some one tried to convice with diplomacy the gem to come with us.
the dm say "read the other side"
|:smallconfused: it says "Talking is not the path"
We ask "is there writing on the the other side"
DM: "Why Yes, it says: look behind you."
we look beind us.
DM: "You see a button on the wall"
*groan*

So many situations are like those bad riddles where you have to get the exact answer the DM wanted.

does he actually want me to waste time interrogating his every description?

Mongoose87
2009-09-16, 12:10 AM
This is why the party rogue should do a search check at all puzzles. The ooze thing is a bit ridiculous, though.

Kosjsjach
2009-09-16, 12:11 AM
I think I would go insane.

You could try indulging him for a session. Ask about everything. Incessantly. Everything. Ask until he's sick of you asking. And then ask some more.

If all goes well, this'll solve your problem. :smallwink:

HealthKit
2009-09-16, 02:09 AM
I think I would go insane.

You could try indulging him for a session. Ask about everything. Incessantly. Everything. Ask until he's sick of you asking. And then ask some more.

If all goes well, this'll solve your problem. :smallwink:

Ah yes, revenge is a dish best served cold. :smallamused:

BobVosh
2009-09-16, 02:17 AM
I think I would go insane.

You could try indulging him for a session. Ask about everything. Incessantly. Everything. Ask until he's sick of you asking. And then ask some more.

If all goes well, this'll solve your problem. :smallwink:

And thus The Treaty (http://agc.deskslave.org/comics/AGC5-5.GIF) is born.

Eldariel
2009-09-16, 02:29 AM
Honestly, make sure he understands what he's getting into. Make absolutely certain he realizes what kind of hell he's bringing upon himself. Then, every single time anything happens in-game, ask every question imaginable and few others out of principle.

Generate a list of all possible features an object may have and all factors an environment may contain, relevant or not. Don't forget to check the air humidity, any possible unusual smells or sensations, every single crack and deformity in solid surface available, the weight of the air, the material, construction style & possible bonding agents, the general mood of the locale and the shade of the air, all light sources around, and any ambient sounds along with their most likely sources. And that's only getting started.

After one session of this, ask if the DM likes how this game is going. If yes, continue as such until he realizes there are better ways to game. If no, explain to him that it's his job to give sufficient description of the environment for the players to be able to imagine exactly what their characters sense and see and that this is a result of him skimping on his duties in this regard.


That is what I would do if I ever encountered a DM incapable of sufficient description and causing problems in encounters specifically because of relevant pieces of information that were omitted for reasons no other than DM carelessness; things the characters sense automatically such as the stupid ****ing pudding not blocking the whole corridor or the monsters being color coded.

SparkMandriller
2009-09-16, 02:54 AM
Just interrupt him every five seconds to let him know your character's still breathing. He should get the hint.


This may have the unfortunate side effect of causing him to find ways to stop your character breathing, though.

oxinabox
2009-09-16, 03:18 AM
I had considered that approach however, i'm known for being very loud (i get caught up in the moment :smallredface:).
and party members already joke about casting silence on me.
I also ask what things smell like all the time, since my character has scent.

Has anyone encountered a dm doing similar things?

Kaun
2009-09-16, 04:22 AM
Every time you are faced with an issue state something along the lines of" My Character starts slowly and methodically inspecting every square inch of the area around him, please describes in grate detail what he see's hears, smells tastes and feels."

Mystic Muse
2009-09-16, 04:29 AM
look in my signature and you'll see the solution to every annoying problem.

but seriously. Tell the DM he's being a jerk and ask why you need to ask every time when your characters should see it.

unless your characters have an ABYSMAL spot check.

RagnaroksChosen
2009-09-16, 06:30 AM
Lol...
I got to ask did this guy come from 2nd ed/ older editions my old 2nd ed dm was like this.

Though he would give us a leg up a bit more then it sound lieks ur gm. Using your pudding example(seeing as i had a similar issue) When we entered the dungion the gm said that the main hall was 10 feat wide.
Time passed we had some combat and some other things...
then we get to this pudding and we get stuff on how to pass it for like 20 minutes.. his description was as follows.
"A 5 foot Pudding sits in the middle of the hall way. It bubbles every once and a while. The door is on 5ft away on its far side."

Finaly I was like is there enough space to tip toe around it. Hes like ya theres about 2.5 feet and we all groaned.
I loved that GM actualy made you think... (where both engineers though I don't know if that makes a difference)

Kurald Galain
2009-09-16, 06:46 AM
Ok one of my DM's really weird about handing out information.
Yeah, this is just plain old bad DM'ing (worse, it's not bad DM'ing because the DM is simply not good at it, it is bad DM'ing because the DM is intentionally and deliberately being obnoxious to his players).

DM: "Player X, you take damage."
X: "Why?"
DM: "Because you're being attacked by a dragon."
X: "Why didn't you say there was a dragon in the room?"
DM: "You didn't ask."

Farlion
2009-09-16, 06:53 AM
My players always seem to ask the right questions... maybe you should start saying things like:

I inspect the whole altar

I carefully look at all the walls and the ceiling in the room

Please list all the furniture/items/statues in the room


I have a classical example of a scene, where I don't mention a specific item, until someone asks for it:

The classical rug on the floor with the hidden trapdoor under it.

If I mention the rug, everyone will look under it and the whole trapdoor thing is a waste. On the other hand, if I describe a whole room with alot of furniture and all, then I somewhat expect my players to ask me, if there is a rug.

In this very case, I only mention the rug, if asked for.


Moreover, I also consider the state the characters are in, when I describe a room.

Example: If there is a huge Barghest in the middle of the room, my description of the hangings on the wall is somehow obsolete. On the other hand, once tha Barghest is dead, I will describe the rest of the room in some more detail.

So, your DM seems to like withholding information to make you look like a fool. He will someday get over it and start working WITH his players not AGAINST his players.

My tips: Be patient, ask the right questions or simply DM yourself :smallbiggrin:

Cheers,
Farlion

Calmar
2009-09-16, 07:31 AM
This dumbnut DM apparently forces his players to play their characters as if they were blind, or too damn dumb to concentrate on more than one thing at the same time.
Why are you still in his retarded game?

daggaz
2009-09-16, 07:40 AM
lol, your dm has much to learn. Eldariel has the answer, tho to be honest I woulda walked out of such a game as soon as I heard that the monsters were color coded. The brainless machinations of the DM only spice the stupid-cake.

Honestly.. does your character asphyxiate because you forgot to tell the DM that you are breathing? Even worse, do you have to let him know for each and every single breath you take?? :smallconfused::smallyuk:

I feel for ya, man. Maybe you should pick up the gauntlet and try DMing instead?

Vizzerdrix
2009-09-16, 07:45 AM
DM is being a douche bag and obviously wants to play 20 questions, not D&D.

Sipex
2009-09-16, 07:46 AM
Some cases I agree with, like the altar puzzle forcing you to check it for inscriptions although depending on how you word your search (ie: I check the alter for inscriptions) he should tell you all the inscriptions or just one.

For the others, that's just annoying. Point out to him that your characters should have the ability to see what's in front of them and propose a 'passive perception check'. IE: What you naturally hear/see/smell/feel without rolling.

4e does this where you add 10 to perception (average die roll) and that determines how observant you are when you're just relaxing/browsing/casual.

3.5 might be a bit stricter than that for the DCs of seeing things so that might not work but a passive spot check of your skill's base score should at least grant you a description of everything a normal person should notice without trying. (unless your natural score is somehow negative)

daggaz
2009-09-16, 08:45 AM
there already is a passive spot and listen mechanic in 3.5, and it is there to notice things that arent readily and immediately noticeable (a crack in the wall, a spider sneaking up in the dark, a child whimpering down the hall, etc.) Anything that is obviously noticeable* is up to the DM to describe it regardless of whether the PC's mention it. I dont have my DMG on me, but I would swear by all that is good and green on the earth, that that is specifically outlined within.

*things on the ceiling is one of the times where the two areas come close to eachother. If its dark or the ceiling is rough etc, then you had better announce you are looking up as well, or you could forgo your passive spot check. You dont have eyes on the top of your head. Otherwise its generally considered that a PC does swivel their head, even glancing behind them from time to time, allowing for passive spots in a 360 degree circle around them.. The worst I would do to PC's who dont mention looking behind them AND are suitably distracted, would be to give a penalty to the passive spot check, not remove it entirely.

kamikasei
2009-09-16, 09:03 AM
I have a classical example of a scene, where I don't mention a specific item, until someone asks for it:

The classical rug on the floor with the hidden trapdoor under it.

If I mention the rug, everyone will look under it and the whole trapdoor thing is a waste. On the other hand, if I describe a whole room with alot of furniture and all, then I somewhat expect my players to ask me, if there is a rug.

In this very case, I only mention the rug, if asked for.

I am put in mind of this article (http://www.giantitp.com/articles/YUMiX2JPVjHIJ6h5VlD.html) of the Giant's. Summary: give enough detail that the players won't immediately latch on to the one thing you do mention about a room's contents as obviously being the key to whatever is to be done there.

If your players will search under every rug they come across, then let them find their trapdoors. Its their characters' precious time they're wasting.

Kurald Galain
2009-09-16, 09:04 AM
*things on the ceiling is one of the times where the two areas come close to eachother. If its dark or the ceiling is rough etc, then you had better announce you are looking up as well, or you could forgo your passive spot check.

No: having a good passive spot check means that your character also looks up. That's why the skill exists, so good perception is based on your character build, rather than on how many times you say "I look there as well" as a player.

Person_Man
2009-09-16, 09:05 AM
Sounds like your DM played too much Zork as a kid.

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

bosssmiley
2009-09-16, 09:13 AM
@oxinabox: Tell your DM, from us, that he fails. :smallannoyed:

The DM is the player's only source of information about the game world. It is he who, by detailed description, or by omission of information, directs what the players focus their attention upon. Treating information about the PC's environs as a rare and precious resource that has to be winkled out text adventure-style is a fine example of DM suck and fail. The environment is constantly giving you information (some useful, some extraneous); the DM should do likewise.

If something is in plain sight, it should be mentioned.
If something is hidden, there should be clues.

The Mentalist
2009-09-16, 09:29 AM
I always thought the answer was to go to an in-game library and ask what was on every page of every book you examined, what the bindings were, what the pages were made of, how they smelled, did any of them have stains on them, and then pass it off as "trying to get deeper into character" as a 6 Int Barbarian.

oxinabox
2009-09-16, 10:18 AM
simply DM yourself
I am DMing another game (I was dming a couple). this is the only dnd 3.5 game i get to play in.
He's a friend,
i think he's been dming longer than me, i'm really not sure. i think i'm more experienced, I make mistakes (as a DM rp being of perfect truth, broke me last sesson, playing with PC's who were conartists)
He thinks he knows the rules, but often get them wrong,
but he's a good guy.
He admits he'ld rather play than dm, but he's happily dmed us a game all year.


My character Flies (all the time, that's what Fell Flight is for)
when in a dungeon, have been explictily told that must ask the hight of the room at a regular interval.
this was after the following happened:
we enter the dungeon, I ask how highs the roof.
DM: 10 ft,
ME: I fly as far up as i can.
DM: you get about 3.5 feat off the ground, not enough to save you form any enemies
ME: but at least it's engough that i won't set of any floor traps.
... (Game continues)
We get attacked (by the coulour coded monsters)
DM: it reaches out for you, its body seems to streatch, make a fort save (i roll, poorly) You go unconscious but take 0 damage.
CLERIC: rolls knowege check to work out what spell would heal me, and finds that it's beyond her abilities.
... (game continues)- DM, just says, after 10 or so round of combat, more come, until you fail to kill them and your all unconscious...

We find out the room where i was knocked unconscious, was 50 ft high.
so i should have been out of there range, but "I didn't ask how hight the roof was."




of topic
Does anyone know what (inc epic lvl) can make you go unconcios at 99 HP, deal 0 damage and can't be fixed with Heal, or Restoration?
Maybe it's DM fiat

Calmar
2009-09-16, 11:05 AM
of topic
Does anyone know what (inc epic lvl) can make you go unconcios at 99 HP, deal 0 damage and can't be fixed with Heal, or Restoration?
Maybe it's DM fiat

A not-so-clever device to capture your group? :smallconfused:

Pharaoh's Fist
2009-09-16, 11:22 AM
Make a checklist of generally asked questions, and some completely pointless ones, print off a few copies, and hand one to the DM every 5 minutes.

If you run out of ink, just read it aloud every 5 minutes. Rotate the sheet around to your fellow players if you get tired.

In the Senate, they call it a filibuster.

Mongoose87
2009-09-16, 11:25 AM
I wouldn't be able to play under those conditions, myself. I'm surprised you haven't quit.

HealthKit
2009-09-16, 11:28 AM
Well, if I were in this situation I would straight up tell the DM that what he's doing is annoying and making the game less enjoyable.
Explain this to him and ask him to stop. He should if he's really a friend. If he doesn't... well, he's not a very good friend.

Vizzerdrix
2009-09-16, 12:17 PM
of topic
Does anyone know what (inc epic lvl) can make you go unconcios at 99 HP, deal 0 damage and can't be fixed with Heal, or Restoration?
Maybe it's DM fiat

Stat Damage. I'll bet cake on it.

Also Person Man, you reminded me of this ^_^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iInGhnpWe4o


Yay Zork!

jiriku
2009-09-16, 12:53 PM
I also did this sort of thing when I was a (very) new DM. I grew out of it when I realized it wasn't fun. (And when my players began to purchase and use white-tipped canes in the dungeon. Tap, tap, tap.)

I currently play in a group where the DM roleplays all NPCs traveling with us as completely passive and unreactive. NPCs take no action unless we explicitly ask them too, even when directly threatened in combat. Even when given instructions, they obey literally and uncreatively, and stop acting as soon as their instructions are completed. We never see anything going on unless we specifically ask to make Spot checks, and he forces us to make Spot checks even for thunderously obvious things, like seeing one another approaching in the open on a paved road, or observing that a party member in the same room has just fallen.

Meh. Not everyone can be a brilliant DM.

If he's interested, point your DM towards some web resources (like Rich Burlew's article on descriptive storytelling) to help him sharpen his game. If he's not receptive, just remind yourself, "I get to play D&D tonight, how cool is that?"

Curmudgeon
2009-09-16, 01:39 PM
Your DM was both handing out too little and too much information. Did you actually have someone with sufficient ranks in Knowledge: Dungeoneering to identify that ooze as a black pudding? And x-ray vision to see that your goal was behind it? So, probably too much information.

On the other hand, seeing colors or empty spaces is automatic (assuming you notice anything at all, that is).

chiasaur11
2009-09-16, 02:10 PM
Well, most of the advice so far is good.

Especially quitting.

But if you stay...

Get a list written up, containing dozens of possible things.

Examine everything in the room for every item on the list, and be incredibly skeptical about everything.

Example scenario:

DM: You enter a room.
Player: Is it on fire?
DM: ...no.
Player: Are you sure it's not on fire? You've failed to give a lot of relevant information in the past.
DM: The room's not on fire. I told you that already.
Player: Hm. Is there an illusion covering up the fire?
DM: No. No there isn't.
Player: I disbelieve in the illusion of the room not being on fire.
DM: Fine. Roll. The room isn't on fire.
Player: I dunno, my will save could be better. Bill, could you try disbelieving that the room is on fire?
(Five minutes later)
DM: Fine. None of you saw the room was on fire.
Player: But is it underwater? You've failed to tell us a lot of things in the past...


Either you'll get the point across, or you'll get booted.

Either way, problem solved.

oxinabox
2009-09-17, 05:10 AM
If he's not receptive, just remind yourself, "I get to play D&D tonight, how cool is that?"
I do.

I don't think he would be receptive, considering when i said, surely we would notice, and so should have described (the coloured monsters)
he gave the Ooze example.

I like the list idea.

Grumman
2009-09-17, 05:44 AM
Having identified one of the weaknesses of pen-and-paper roleplaying, he decided to abuse the hell out of it to ruin your fun and suspension of disbelief.

Kick him in the balls, then quit.

Asheram
2009-09-17, 06:10 AM
whenever you suspect something, enter into a room, or if walking in a suspect hallway. Pull out pen and paper and demand that he draws it, then clearly marking out Everything that you notice on it.

oxinabox
2009-09-17, 06:59 AM
So Making a Checklist:
(please put suggestions in Bold)
This is for things i should see without a spot check.
things i can just ask as soon as i enter a room:

What colour is it, are they?
What do i smell?
is there a way round it?
do i see any buttons?
How High is the Roof?
Is the Room on fire?

Myou
2009-09-17, 07:12 AM
So Making a Checklist:

Why not just tell your DM that you closely inspect everything at all times?

oxinabox
2009-09-17, 08:17 AM
Why not just tell your DM that you closely inspect everything at all times?
Because it's not that my character doesn't do that, it's that i didn't ask.
(it doesn't take close inspection to notice most of the things i've mentioned)
Also I've tried saying that my character always does things, (eg always flys 25 of the ground) and the dmd didn't like it, and asked me to say what my character is doing.

Is there any writing in the room

Vangor
2009-09-17, 09:19 AM
Function as though every object is illusory. Attempt to disbelieve everything you come across. If you do not roll well or possess a low will save, metagame and function as though the object obviously is fake but your character doesn't know and have others attempt to disbelieve. If you roll a natural 20 or high and have a high will save, function as though the object was illusory.

When you find about a pit before a gate, roll and simply march your way across. If the DM says you are falling, metagame about this being a strong illusory pit but you'll attempt to interact with the gate, such as trying to find a lever or similar. If this fails...because you're falling down a pit, assume the gate is illusory and ask for a description of the hallway or chamber beyond. Be insistent by asking all of those mundane questions.

Continue this if monsters begin attacking by attempting to disbelieve each and just functioning via metagaming. Continue this if you die. Get others to continue this. Invest all of your power into trying to combat illusions, especially if you can cast True Seeing just remind him you have this active or are constantly recasting that, boosting will saves, etc., and don't believe that. In fact, if he says you cannot venture through the gate tell him, "No, I have True Seeing so I can see the gate is clearly fake. What is on the other side?"

Remark about the powerful illusionist in this dungeon or tomb or whatever, constantly.

This works terrifically if you can get everyone in the party to repeat every single action for each one of them multiple times, adding in summoned monsters, animal companions, cohorts, etc., to this. Further, create a dungeon of your own including monsters, traps, and so forth. Play this dungeon and give yourself artifacts after killing a few orcs, regardless of his protests.

Finally, when you DM, only hold him to his own standard. Explain to everyone else the area in full detail, but when he attempts to act as though he saw the lever to open the gate tell him his character doesn't know a lever exists. Make sure he has to identify each square along the path which he wants to inspect to vaguely search about in the dark for where this lever you told everyone else about is. Don't let him see his allies. If one comes to bring him along, ask him if he attempted to feel if there was a hand in his hand.

I'm surprised you haven't quit.

jiriku
2009-09-17, 10:01 AM
So Making a Checklist:
(please put suggestions in Bold)
This is for things i should see without a spot check.
things i can just ask as soon as i enter a room:

What colour is it, are they?
What do i smell?
is there a way round it?
do i see any buttons?
How High is the Roof?
Is the Room on fire?


What furniture is in the room?
What is on this furniture?
What is under this furniture?
What is on the floor?
What is on the ceiling?
Is there anything large enough to hide a medium creature? A small creature?
How warm or cold is it? Can I tell why?
Do any objects appear dangerous to touch?
Do any surfaces appear dangerous to walk on?
How many doors are there? How about trapdoors? How about archways?
What are the exact dimensions of every object and architectural feature in this area? (Bring a yardstick and a measuring tape with you.)

Vortling
2009-09-17, 10:03 AM
Additionally, make sure the other players know that you're asking all these questions because the DM isn't giving you the right information to play the game. That way you can always tell them you'll stop as soon as the DM starts giving you the important information needed to play without all the questions.

Make sure neither you nor any other character does anything until all the questions on your list are answered.

Further questions:
Are there monsters in the room?
How many?
What color are each of them?
Is the room filled with water? fire? acid?
Does the room have (bones, furniture, statues, stairs, buttons, levers, etc) in it?

Kurald Galain
2009-09-17, 10:04 AM
[B]What furniture is in the room?
What is on this furniture?
Is the furniture on fire?

Vangor
2009-09-17, 10:09 AM
Is the furniture on fire?

How large is this potential fire?
Is the furniture which is potentially on fire flammable, or is there another potential source of fuel for this potential fire?
What color might this potential fire potentially be?
If this potential color of this potential fire is a naturally occurring fire color, is this due to the potentially intense heat of this potential fire or more likely magic, or am I potentially incapable of feeling the potentially intense heat of this potential fire?

Do not give a pause.

HealthKit
2009-09-17, 10:18 AM
The very last question:

You understand why I have to ask all these questions, don't you?

Though I still think you should tell him how you feel about the situation...

CarpeGuitarrem
2009-09-17, 10:22 AM
Example scenario:

DM: You enter a room.
Player: Is it on fire?
DM: ...no.
Player: Are you sure it's not on fire? You've failed to give a lot of relevant information in the past.
DM: The room's not on fire. I told you that already.
Player: Hm. Is there an illusion covering up the fire?
DM: No. No there isn't.
Player: I disbelieve in the illusion of the room not being on fire.
DM: Fine. Roll. The room isn't on fire.
Player: I dunno, my will save could be better. Bill, could you try disbelieving that the room is on fire?
(Five minutes later)
DM: Fine. None of you saw the room was on fire.
Player: But is it underwater? You've failed to tell us a lot of things in the past...


HAHAHAHAHA. Brilliant. That's like Abbot and Costello meets D&D.

Sliver
2009-09-17, 10:29 AM
Is the furniture on fire?

Is the fire on fire?

Myou
2009-09-17, 10:44 AM
How large is this potential fire?
Is the furniture which is potentially on fire flammable, or is there another potential source of fuel for this potential fire?
What color might this potential fire potentially be?
If this potential color of this potential fire is a naturally occurring fire color, is this due to the potentially intense heat of this potential fire or more likely magic, or am I potentially incapable of feeling the potentially intense heat of this potential fire?

Do not give a pause.

Is the fire also on fire?

Damn, ninja'd. I need to post faster.

Akal Saris
2009-09-17, 10:59 AM
I'm just glad that this is 1 kind of DM that I never played with much. I'm sure he'll grow out of it if you and the other PCs point out that it's not much fun for you guys, and he's not doing his job as a DM.

At the same time, it wouldn't hurt to keep a short list of questions for each encounter.

What do I see? this should be the most important one, since you character DOES see a button, an ooze, etc, and it's simply not fair to withhold that information if it would impact your character's choices.

ericgrau
2009-09-17, 11:37 AM
I'm already annoyed enough when we're not told basic things our character should know, simply because we forgot after a week or were never told to begin with. The OP's situation would drive me crazy.

ShadowsGrnEyes
2009-09-17, 12:24 PM
More questions to ask. . .

Do I (smell, taste, hear, feel, see) anything at all that is capable of harming me?
What things do I (smell, taste, hear, Feel, See) that can harm me? (dont fogret to have him include the other party members as they are capable of harming you and that's what you asked specifically)

(If you are a capable of it) I detect magic!(this could eat up alot of spells if your using it as much as you can but it can be very useful to forcibly make things obvious) Do I see anything anything magical? What is it, please describe in great detail?

those things may help but what i suggest trying first is this.

"I walk into the room and immediatly look around the room for anything and everything that I as a (insert race here) of decent intelligence would notice as releveant to the situation at hand and the circumstances in which I arrived here. Please don't leave out any horribly obvious bits of nonsense because you think it's funny to make me ask for things my character would obviously see as i find that terribly frustrating and it makes the game no fun for me." and if the GM ignores this comment or Responds in some way other than to be at least moderately more agreeable as far as playing then simply tell him that you did not roll a blind character and feel that if you are being forced to play a blind character than you feel he should give you somthing in return like a wand of point-out-the-obvious. If that fails, then resort to the absurd amount of questions. . . or quit but I realize you dont want to do that.

Gadora
2009-09-17, 12:32 PM
Do I hear a fire?
Do I smell smoke?
Does it feel hot in here?
I disbelieve the lack of fire.
Have you read anything good lately?
What color is the wall?
What does the wall feel like?
What does the wall appear to be made of?
What is on the wall?
What does the wall taste like?
Does the room have a floor?
How high is the ceiling?
Are there any other exits?
Am I on fire?

Apologies for any silly suggestions, I'm running on zero sleep at the moment.

The Manly Man
2009-09-17, 04:45 PM
Dunno why this thread reminds me of this particular experience, but it does. I was asked to fill in for a missing player at a first level 4ed game. Had never played with anyone there, but one of the players was a friend of mine.

So I turn up, and within a few minutes the party are walking through the woods. My character scouts ahead. He has high Perception and Stealth.
DM: OK, you see goblins.
Me: How many?
DM: You can't see. Also, you let out a gasp of surprise and they see you now.
Me: But I'm hiding in the bushes.
DM: They're close enough to the bushes to see you anyway.

The DM then puts the two goblins onto the map about 3 squares away from my PC. Fifteen feet away, and I can't count two goblins...

Me: Why didn't I see them when I was further away?
DM: Because you didn't say you were looking for things in the distance.
Me: I'm scouting. I'm doing that by sight and hearing, not touch.
DM: But anyway they draw their weapons and run at you.
Me: So what are they armed with?
DM: Umm, bows. Good point.
DM checks the goblin's maximum range and moves them out to that.
Me: So they don't see me then?
DM: Why wouldn't they see you?
Me: I'm in the bushes.
DM: But you would have stepped out when they started running at you.
Me: But they're not running at me. They're ten squares away with bows. And you said they only saw me as they were close to the bushes.
DM: ... What? Who has bows?

*headdesk*

Later on, we enter a cave. DM brings out a large sized mini and says "This isn't what it is, but I don't have any other large models with me"
Me: So what is it?
DM: It's a monster.
Me: What kind of monster?
DM: A blue one.
Me: Is it a big cold lizard? An ogre wearing warpaint? A rhino raised by smurfs?
DM: It's a big blue monster, I don't want to tell you the name as that will give it away.
Me: What does it look like then?
DM: *confused* It's blue.

I didn't return for another session. It's not often that you meet a DM that lacks both intelligence and an imagination of any kind.

Kosjsjach
2009-09-17, 05:18 PM
I can't be the only one who, while reading this thread, had the simple content thought:

:smallsigh: Man, I'm so glad I don't have a DM like that.

...

Player: I disbelieve in the illusion of the room not being on fire.
DM: Fine. Roll. The room isn't on fire.
Player: I dunno, my will save could be better. Bill, could you try disbelieving that the room is on fire?
:smallbiggrin: That was hilarious.

Kurald Galain
2009-09-17, 05:41 PM
DM: It's a monster.
Me: What kind of monster?
DM: A blue one.

This is hilarious.

kjones
2009-09-17, 05:44 PM
I'm reminded of the Knights of the Dinner Table comic in which the party obtains a Bag of Holding and proceeds to loot everything in the dungeon that isn't nailed down. This, of course, necessitates some extraneous description.

Hilarity ensues. If you can do the same, then the DM has to tell you what's in each room.

Heliomance
2009-09-17, 06:37 PM
This (http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=40) and this (http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=54) are how you do it. Read on a few strips from each one to get the full effect.

sofawall
2009-09-17, 06:53 PM
Stat Damage. I'll bet cake on it.

He said Restoration couldn't heal it. I can has cake?

dspeyer
2009-09-17, 10:14 PM
This (http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=40) and this (http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=54) are how you do it. Read on a few strips from each one to get the full effect.

I prefer this (http://xkcd.com/169/) approach. Or you could just give him a copy of the cartoon.

And what is role-player's obsession with fire?

Kurald Galain
2009-09-18, 05:00 AM
And what is role-player's obsession with fire?

Well, it prevents ninjas from grabbing you...

Dragatus
2009-09-18, 10:16 AM
I can't be the only one who, while reading this thread, had the simple content thought:

:smallsigh: Man, I'm so glad I don't have a DM like that.


You aren't.

oxinabox
2009-09-19, 06:44 AM
And what is role-player's obsession with fire?
Vaguely it's related to the Wish 'meme'.
Player: I wish was at my house, in our home city
DM: you appear in you house, your on fire.

Also with:
Player: I wish everything i look at caught fire.
I look at thge wall.
DM: the wall catech fire
PLayer: i look at the fire
DM: the fire catches fire.
PLayer: I look at that:
DM: the fires fire catches fire.
...
PLayer: I look at that
Dm: Stack Overflow


This DM isn't that bad...


I'm playing a waqrlock, i have detect magic at will.
Doesnont help if the room is on fire though...