Ready Aim Fire CLASSIC XXV - Primary Colours

[Zar Peter]

Ready Aim Fire CLASSIC XXV - Primary Colours

This game is identical with Silkenfist's game, "Ready Aim Fire!". Thank you Silkenfist for the idea. This is RAF Classic, the original, free-for-all RAF game. You can find Team RAF, the team-based variant of this game in the Forums when Lord Herman decides to continue the series.

The main rules (spoilered because I think most of the people know them already):

You have to decide between three actions:
1) Shoot the air -> Nothing happens. If you get shot you die.

2) Shoot [insert player name here] -> [insert player name here] dies if he did not shoot himself.

3) Shoot yourself -> if no one tries to kill you, you die! If someone shoots you this player will get killed instead of you and you live!

For better understanding here is a link to Lord Herman's "comic for better understanding the rules of Ready Aim Fire". (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Instructions.png)
You have about three days to PM your action to the narrator (=me!). I will announce the submission date in the Narrator Posts.I will post the end of the round and start writing then, no PMs will be accepted after the end of the round post.If you miss a date once you shoot the air. If you miss a date twice in a row you get autolynched.

Here is the Hall of Fame:

{table=head]Game number|Game title|Winner|number of contestants|Narrator
RAF I | The First | DarkLightDragon | 14 contestants | Silkenfist
RAF II | The godfather legacy | B-Man | 8 patrons | Silkenfist
RAF III | Pirates | Bookman | 12 Pirates | Silkenfist
RAF IV | Ghost Town | Alarra | 16 cowboys | Silkenfist
RAF V | Thawing Glaciers | Bookman | 17 caveman | Silkenfist
RAF VI | The last flight of the Hermes | Deckmaster | 20 Hackers | Silkenfist
RAV VII | Hideyoshis Messanger | DarkLightDragon | 27 shinobi | Silkenfist
RAF VIII | Boonta Eve Memorial | DarkLightDragon | 28 Rebels | Silkenfist
RAF IX | Tainted Gold | Krursk | 32 treasure hunters | Silkenfist
RAF X | Year of fourty emperors | Krursk | 39 senators | Silkenfist
RAF XI | Banquet Arcana | Shadow | 43 wizards | Silkenfist
RAF XII | Worms | Inky13112 | 37 worms | evnafets
RAF XIII | Zombie Attack | Destro_Yersul | 39 Zombies | evnafets
RAF XIV | The Giant Playground | Almighty Salmon | 37 kids | Zar Peter
RAF XV | Doctor, we have an emergancy | Shishnarfne | 36 doctors | Mordokai
RAF XVI | The Great American Cross Country Road Race | Fleeing Coward | 30 drivers | Zar Peter
RAF XVII | Playground Idol | Phase | 26 singers | Zar Peter
RAF XVIII | Playground Festival | Fleeing Coward | 18 celebrators | Zombie Pixe / Dallas Dakota
RAF XIX | On the turtles back | Freshmeat | 32 Ankh-Morporkians | Uncle Festy
RAF XX | Firefly | undisclosed | 40 Flies | Thanatos
RAF XXI | The War of the Roses | Wolfbane | 25 heirs of the Throne | Zar Peter
RAF XXII|RAF and the holy Grail|Crimmy|24 knights of the Round Table|Zar Peter
RAF XXIII|Götterdämmerung|Ink|23 Gods|Zar Peter
RAF XXIV|Survival of the Fittest|Inigo Montoya|30 animals|Zar Peter
RAF XXV|Primary Colours|Uncle Festy|31 politicians|Zar Peter
[/table]

Here is the autonotify list (with all name changes, hopefully):

Azure Butterfly
Banjo1985
DD the Cookiemonster
Destro_Yersul
Dirk Kris
Draken
Fin
Fredricus
Grim ranger
Inigo Montoya
jurgenVW
Lord Herman
Numberfourteen
Recaiden
RedScholarGypsy
Reinholdt
Shadow
St.Sinner
Thanatos 51-50
TheBibliophile
Thes Hunter
Uncle Festy
Vampiric

They will be informed as soon as the thread is up (and I notice that it's up).

Sign up ends on Wednesday, the 23rd September 2009. or later. You will be informed.

Theme:
You are members of the only party in your country and you are trying to win the primary elections for president. You know, the one who wins the primary elections will become president because, well, there isn't another party in the country.
You are all politicans with different character traits. If you want to choose a character yourself give me a negative trait for every positive trait you choose (otherwise I will choose your negative traits).
And you try to backstab and betray your fellow party members as often as you can. Remember the saying: Fiend - Archfiend - Fellow Party Member

Oh, and please keep actual politics out of the thread.

Players so far (26):

{table=head]Nr.|Player name|positve traits|negative traits
1|Lord Herman|noble title, fancy hat|no grasp of politics
2|Wolfbane|charismatic, flamethrower|deceased
3|Freshmeat|tophat, monocle|smelly tophat, cardboard monocle
4|Dr. Bath|great thinker|damp, indecent
5|Night Surgeon|velociraptor|velociraptor
6|DD the Cookiemonster|very charismatic, uses blunt truth|bloody foreigner, uses blunt truth
7|Dirk Kris|the ladies love him|he loves the ladies
8|Grim ranger|ruthless, convincing liar|loses temper easily, is mistrusted a lot
9|happyturtle|men feel protective of her|occasionaly shapeshifts into a monster
10|banjo1985|can eat everything|explodes occasionaly
11|TheBibliophile|rudimentary knowledge of politics, unscrupolus|bad sexual taste, inexperience
12|Opeth Freak|Geek culture icon|not charismatic, sleepy
13|evnafets|winning, flashing smile|flatulent
14|billtodamax||isn't very subtle
15|Mordokai|loyal|lazy
16|Destro Yersul|scythe|scary
17|Reinholdt|non existent, sings|non existent, sings
18|RedScholarGypsy|orang utan, can navigate in L-Space|violent, addicted to bananas
19|Fin||
20|Thanatos 51-50|intimidatingm charismatic|horrible leader, smells like old band aids
21|Geesi|Hot Blood, Can Set Things on Fire from Hundreds of Feet Away|Needs Outside Guidance, Bad Temper
22|The Bookworm|No one opposes him|no one votes him
23|Vampiric|famous for not being a crooked politician|Majority of voters in constituency are Mafia members
24|Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins|owns a working Space Pirate Ship, can summon any type of hat at will|Long and well-documented career as a ruthless Space Pirate captain, legally insane
25|Crimmy|I have facial hair! And a lovely cane.|Completely blind and uncaring
26|St. Sinner|Can see Antarctica from her house. Pioneered legislation to distribute free guns to every child under 13. Fun to have a beer with.|20-word vocabulary. Occasionally consults witch doctors and gets them to place hoodoo hexes on political opponents.
27|Azure Butterfly|Mind-bending powers, Pretty colors|Pinned to the inside of a box
28|Uncle Festy|Occasionally amusing, can kill anyone who votes against him.|No one wants to vote for an evil necromancer, his limbs tend to fall off at inconvenient times.
29|Fleeing Coward|An honest politician|Doesn't actually exist.
30|deathslayer7|Can use magic to turn votes towards her and make people like her|Only lasts for a few minutes.
31|Inigo Montoya|Strong "law and Order" stance. Has an awesome sword.|tends to repeat the same thing over and over.[/table]

[Lord Herman]

Yay, another RAF!

I shall play as myself, Lord Herman. Positive traits include a noble title and a fancy hat. As for the negative traits: no grasp of politics whatsoever.

[UncleWolf]

I'm in!

I'll play myself.
Positive Trait: I'm a werewolf
Negative Trait: I'm a werewolf :smallbiggrin:

[Freshmeat]

In as myself.

Positive trait: Owns a top hat and a monocle.
Negative trait: The top hat is kind of smelly. The monocle is made of cardboard.

[Dr. Bath]

In as Archimedes. Positive trait: Great thinker, Negative trait: Damp and indecent.

[Fan]

I'm in as MEGA RAPTOR

Traits: I'm a Velociraptor, with the ability to use guns, and also with opposable thumbs.

Negative Traits: Being a Velociraptor, people are naturally deathly afraid of me, and I have no natural means of communication with other species.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I, Sir Jan van der Hoeven, sign up.


Positive trait: Very charismatic, frequently uses blunt truth.
Negative trait: Bloody foreigner.

[Dirk Kris]

In as myself.

Positive trait: the ladies love me
Negative trait: I love the ladies back...even the married ones...

[Grim ranger]

In as myself! Also, can I be added on to auto-notify list, please?

Positive traits: Ruthless, very convincing liar
Negative traits: Loses temper easily, is mistrusted a lot

[happyturtle]

In as Carly Bryson!

Positive trait: Men feel protective of her
Negative trait: Occasionally shapeshifts into a horror and devours them

[Fan]

In as myself! Also, can I be added on to auto-notify list, please?

Positive traits: Ruthless, very convincing liar
Negative traits: Loses temper easily, is mistrusted a lot

*odd Raptor sounds*

*leaps at from shade with a gardening trowel*

[banjo1985]

In as Mr Creosote!

Positive: He can eat anything!
Negative: He explodes soon afterwards :smallfrown:

[UncleWolf]

In as Carly Bryson!

Positive trait: Men feel protective of her
Negative trait: Occasionally shapeshifts into a horror and devours them

You did that on purpose. :smalltongue:

Alright, I change who I am. I am SEU Commander Alizarin Viscose.

Positive trait: Charismatic and has a flamethrower
Negative trait: He is currently deceased :smallbiggrin:

[TheBibliophile]

I'm in as myself, TheBibliophile.

Positive traits: I actually have a rudimentary grasp of politics, and I am unscrupulous enough to try to rub out my rivals while being stealthy enough not to get caught.

Negative traits: One of my rival candidates has circulated a damaging rumour about my sexual tastes. If you really want to know what he insinuated, take a good, long look at my name. :smallamused:

Also, I am inexperienced in politics, though I do know how they work. Good enough for you?

EDIT: Also, could you put me on the permanent mailing list? Thanks.

*goes off to read back issues of RAF, hoping for an advantage*

[Opeth_Freak]

In as Cthulhu. Because why choose the lesser evil?

Positive Traits: Geek culture icon, he has some freakish blind followers

Negative traits: He's not charismatic. At all. Oh, and he sleeps a lot...

[happyturtle]

*takes out a restraining order preventing The Bibliophile from coming within 500 yards of her bookcase*

[TheBibliophile]

*takes out a restraining order preventing The Bibliophile from coming within 500 yards of her bookcase*

Plenty more books in L-Space, darlin'.

[evnafets]

I'll join in

Positive: A winning smile that flashes every time he grins.
Negative: Flatulence (full of hot air)

[billtodamax]

In as ADAM WEST!
Pros: ADAM WEST!
Cons: he isn't very subtle.

[Zar Peter]

Just to make sure: I will take you under your Playground names, changing names would be too confusing for me.

And if the following players don't sign up (or take otherwise interest in the thread) they will get deleted from the auto-notify list:

Azure Butterfly
Draken
Fredricus
Numberfourteen
Thes Hunter
Vampiric

[Mordokai]

In, as myself.

Pros: loyal.
Cons: lazy.

[Destro_Yersul]

In as Death. Because I am always Death.

if necessary:
Pro: Scythe
Con: It's Death. He's scary.

[Reinholdt]

In... apparently as myself since that's my only choice.

Positive traits:

Non-existent.
Sings.


Negative traits:

Non-existent.
Sings.

[RedScholarGypsy]

In as the Librarian

Positive: I'm an orangutan, can navigate L-Space.
Negative: Violently reacts to the M word, addicted to bananas.

And add to auto-notify please.

[billtodamax]

Hey RSG. Monkey.

[happyturtle]

In as Carly Bryson! Happyturtle!

Positive trait: Men feel protective of her me
Negative trait: She I occasionally shapeshifts into a horror and devours them

Fixed :smallwink:

[Fin]

In, with Cake!

I will think up a character soon

[RedScholarGypsy]

Hey RSG. Monkey.

OOK!

*Billtodamax is found an hour later with his head in the creek, his butt hovering inhumanly as if being held there by imaginary wings stuck up it.*

[Thanatos 51-50]

Mayor Thanatos of the Dionysian Party, Mayor of the sleepy city of Emberton, where crime is high and education is low.
Positive traits: Intimidating, Charismatic
Negetive Traits: Horrible Leader, Smells like old band-aids

[Opeth_Freak]

Pst... Hey Zar... You made a little mistake in your second table. I don't think that Wolfbane named his guy 'charismatic, flamethrower' for example :smalltongue:

[Guancyto]

Name: Senator Charismatic Flamethrower
Positive Traits: Hot Blood, Can Set Things on Fire from Hundreds of Feet Away
Negative Traits: Needs Outside Guidance, Bad Temper

[Opeth_Freak]

Name: Senator Charismatic Flamethrower
Positive Traits: Hot Blood, Can Set Things on Fire from Hundreds of Feet Away
Negative Traits: Needs Outside Guidance, Bad Temper

Actually after reading my own post, I saw something like that coming :smallbiggrin: You have my vote man :smalltongue:

[Zar Peter]

Pst... Hey Zar... You made a little mistake in your second table. I don't think that Wolfbane named his guy 'charismatic, flamethrower' for example :smalltongue:

Fixed. Thanks.

[The Bookworm]

In as Granny Weatherwax!
Pros: Who would oppose her?
Cons: Who would vote for her?

[TheBibliophile]

Pst... Hey Zar... You made a little mistake in your second table. I don't think that Wolfbane named his guy 'charismatic, flamethrower' for example :smalltongue:

Also, I put "rudimentary knowledge of politics" down as a positive trait, not "no knowledge of politics", and also "inexperience" down as a negative one. Not that I'm complaining if you decide to give me more positive than negative traits. :smalltongue:

[Vampiric]

Count me in, as Dr. Crooked.

Positive traits - famous for not being a crooked politician (doesn't accept bribes)

negative traits - Majority of voters in constituency are Mafia members.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Ah-hah! The Fullbladder also joins!

Pros: owns a working Space Pirate Ship, can summon any type of hat at will

Cons: Long and well-documented career as a ruthless Space Pirate captain, legally insane

[Crimmy]

In as Archduke Maximilian from Crimsonburg.

Positive traits: I have facial hair! :smallwink: And a lovely cane.

Negative traits: Completely blind and uncaring.

[St.Sinner]

Sign me up!

Pros: Can see Antarctica from her house. Pioneered legislation to distribute free guns to every child under 13. Fun to have a beer with.

Cons: 20-word vocabulary. Occasionally consults witch doctors and gets them to place hoodoo hexes on political opponents.

[Copacetic]

Senator Morpho Menelaus

Pros: Mind-bending powers, Pretty colors

Cons: Pinned to the inside of a box.

[Uncle Festy]

Mayor "Uncle" Festy.
Pros: Occasionally amusing, can kill anyone who votes against him.
Cons: No one wants to vote for an evil necromancer, his limbs tend to fall off at inconvenient times.

[Fleeing Coward]

In

Pros: An honest politician
Cons: Doesn't actually exist.

[Deathslayer7]

In as the Witch-Haggler.

Pro: Can use magic to turn votes towards her and make people like her.
Con: Only lasts for a few minutes.

[Zar Peter]

Game will start tomorrow (earliest) since I have a urgent and very important meeting today evening (going with friends to a Football match)

[Mordokai]

*kicks Peter in the shin*
*starts jumping around, holding his foot*

Damn wooden leg...

[Grim ranger]

Nyah nyah nyah :smallbiggrin:

Glad to see this starts soon... I have been looking towards to it :smallamused:

[Zar Peter]

*kicks Peter in the shin*
*starts jumping around, holding his foot*

Damn wooden leg...

Harr Harr Harrr Matey!

You will get killed soon enough :smallbiggrin:

[TheBibliophile]

Game will start tomorrow (earliest) since I have a urgent and very important meeting today evening (going with friends to a Football match)


Sorry, so when should I PM you my actions?

[Fleeing Coward]

I'll be performing my usual action.

In other words:
Shoot Self :smallbiggrin:

[Zar Peter]

Sorry, so when should I PM you my actions?

Either when I post in this thread and say that the game started or when I send you a reminder PM that the game has started. Actually you can PM me your action now but you have to be aware that there could be more player joining until tomorrow.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I think I'l be following Fleeing Coward and shoot myself

[Murska]

I think I'll be shooting YOU. Yes, you.

[Dr. Bath]

Well I'm shooting FC because he is a lying liar. Who lies.

[Lord Herman]

I'm shooting Murska, because he's a wolf.

[Inigo Montoya]

Oh, oh add me!

Positive trait: Strong "law and Order" stance. Has an awesome sword.

Negative trait: tends to repeat the same thing over and over.

[Zar Peter]

So, these are the primaries. The best politicians of the hole country taking up the challenge and fight for the title of president. It's the cream of the local mayors and representatives. Well, we have to say that democracy is rather new in this country and the OECD refused to observe the election because... well, the velociraptor scared them and they found the idea of electable Butterflies or not existent persons rather ridiculous. Anyway, here is the list of the candidates:

{table=head]Nr. | Player | action
1 | Lord Herman |
2 | Wolfbane |
3 | Freshmeat |
4 | Dr. Bath |
5 | Night Surgeon |
6 | DD the Cookiemonster |
7 | Dirk Kris |
8 | Grim ranger |
9 | happyturtle |
10 | banjo1985 |
11 | TheBibliophile |
12 | Opeth Freak |
13 | evnafets |
14 | billtodamax |
15 | Mordokai |
16 | Destro Yersul |
17 | Reinholdt |
18 | RedScholarGypsy |
19 | Fin |
20 | Thanatos 51-50 |
21 | Geesi |
22 | The Bookworm |
23 | Vampiric |
24 | Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins |
25 | Crimmy |
26 | St. Sinner |
27 | Azure Butterfly |
28 | Uncle Festy |
29 | Fleeing Coward |
30 | deathslayer7 |
31 | Inigo Montoya |
[/table]

The election begins now. Please send in your votes until Sunday, 19:00 GMT +1

means you have 72 hours from now time to send your action to me.

[Fan]

:Stands up on a podium:


http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/j/Velociraptor.jpg


:begins to make raptor noises, slowly drawing a crowd of his fellow raptors, the speech is infact largely uninteligeble until a translator arrives:

"And that's why the human's must be eliminated! Wait... Their translating this! Cut the feed!"

[Dr. Bath]

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h24/solarturtle/DrBathcandidate.png

Look how sophisticated I am! Don't you just want to vote for me? That's right, you do!

HooOoooooorraaaaaay.

Sir, stick to the speech

I'll do whatever I please!

*shoots a gun repeatedly in the air*

[Dirk Kris]

Senator Dirk Kris steps up to the podium, wearing his finest Armani suit and a smirk. His white hair is slicked back, his nails perfectly groomed. He steps up to the podium and smiles, locking eyes with a pretty redhead in the second row. And yet all the women in the room feel like he's looking right at THEM.

"Ladies. Gentlemen. My record speaks for itself. I have increased the percentage of women voting by nearly 30%, I have the happiest constituents in the state, and I always...ALWAYS...take time to listen to the people under me." A lecherous wink.

[happyturtle]

*approaches the podium after Dirk, wearing a low cut top and accompanied by a cute dog*

*smiles sweetly and looks out over the audience with big brown eyes*

"Please vote for me." http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/smilies/happy0191.gif

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/of50295442-2.jpg

[UncleWolf]

*is propped in front of the podium*

...
...
...

*the corpse falls and much cheering is heard*

[Thanatos 51-50]

Mayor Thanatos steps up to his podium and places a submachine gun next to him, casting a wary, cybernetics-enhanced glare out over the crowd. He has a firm, set, resolute, and gosh dern it, Inspiring posture. Also, all the visible grenades, knives, handguns and body armour is a bit intimidating, as are the many prominent scars that somehow manage to disfigure while not making him look ugly, and opens his mouth.
"My good people!" he proclaims, raising a hand to silence the cheers. A hand with a rich red bottle of wine in it. In faded pencil, nigh-impossible to make out to the front row, and worse for the cameras and people behind the front row are the words "Bread and Circuses".
"I Promise you, vote for me for a better tomorrow!" he silences another roar by pretending to drink the wine. And then launches into a lengthy monologue about his proposals for the country spun to sound appealing, but any experienced politician would know are completely useless or even detrimental to the nation. As he moves to take a seat, the red cybernetic eye looks over his competitors.
It will get bloody.

[Reinholdt]

"I'mmmm drrrrrrrrreaming of a Whhhite Christmas. Just like the ones I usssssed to know...."

It's coming from nowhere.

[Fleeing Coward]

The honest politician would make a speech but unfortunately he doesn't exist.

He will instead shoot himself just to make sure that he doesn't actually exist.

((Just making sure, this still counts as my action like last round right?))

[evnafets]

*approaches the podium after Dirk, wearing a low cut top and accompanied by a cute dog*

*smiles sweetly and looks out over the audience with big brown eyes*

"Please vote for me."


Smiles. (ding!)
Votes for HappyTurtle

[Uncle Festy]

"AHAHAHAHAHA! I AM VICTORIOUS! BOW BEFORE ME, SLAVES! BOW! BOW I SAY! AHAHAHAHA*–"
Uncle Festy pauses, looks back down at his script.
"Er. That, um…*that was my …acceptance speech. …Sorry.
…
A country under Festy is a country of awesome?"

[Zar Peter]

The honest politician would make a speech but unfortunately he doesn't exist.

He will instead shoot himself just to make sure that he doesn't actually exist.

((Just making sure, this still counts as my action like last round right?))

Well, just so that everybody knows: An action posted open in thread is a valid action and counts unless I get another action.

Just be sure you make it visible enough for me to read, so if you hide it in a long text I might not be able to recognice it.

Oh, and I must say I'm really enjoying the roleplay here. Great work, people!

[Lord Herman]

Lord Herman get up on the podium, clears his throat, adjusts his fancy hat, and says, "Alright you lot, you can go back to your huts or shacks or whatever it is you peasants live in. I'm the only one here with a noble title, so I win by default. Just let me run this country while you farm mud or something. Back to work, chop chop!"

[Inigo Montoya]

Inigo Montoya steps up to another podium (How many do we have anyway? A dozen?) And begins to speak.

Hello...If you vote for me, I won't say that line anymore. YOU KILLED MY FATHER PREPARE TO...Sorry. It just happens randomly now.

[Opeth_Freak]

A creepy guy, with giant glasses and pimply face enters the podium.

"This thing on? Good... Mr. Cthulhu is currently sleeping somewhere deep under the ocean surface, and he told me to do this speech for him. Achem...

*Clears Throat*

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

*Crickets chirping*

"Thank you."

*leaves the podium*

[Reinholdt]

"The Phannnnnnnnntom of the Opera is therrrrre, inside my minnnnnnnd..."

It's like it's coming from your head!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Briefly, the sun is blotted out, and eyes are drawn to the collosal mass of metal, weaponry, and ovetaxed engines that hangs like some vast, predatory bird above the audience. Almost unseen, a cargo bay opens up, and an extremely long rope ladder is tossed down.

With speed bizarre for his size and total amount of existing original limbs, Captain Jonathan K. Fullbladder disembarks from the Nemesis.

"I ain't late, am I?" he asks as he limps over to and grasps the podium, a three-point pirate hat suddenly matewrializing upon his head.

"All right you unspaced blighters. This is 'ow it's gonna work. You lot'll vote fer me, an' I won't detonate the weapons cache I've hidden under each an' e'ery one o' yer houses. I can do that! I'm a pirate! Nyahaha! So don't you ferget who you're voting fer."

He raises his hands to make... well.... a hook and a 'Victory' hand sign.

"Cap'n Fullbladder, out!"

And hats fall upon the crowd.

[Zar Peter]

1 hour left. I fear I don't get all actions but I send everyone a PM. So, Round ends in 1 hour!

[Mordokai]

Sneak attack leg kick!

*kicks Peter in the leg again*

And what do you know! It seems like I actually hit the right leg this time :smallbiggrin:

[Dirk Kris]

*approaches the podium after Dirk, wearing a low cut top and accompanied by a cute dog*

*smiles sweetly and looks out over the audience with big brown eyes*

"Please vote for me." http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/smilies/happy0191.gif

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/happyturtle-avs/of50295442-2.jpg
Dirk grabs the girl, sweeps her into a low dip, and plants a big, wet kiss on her lips. He even nibbles a little! Then, righting her, he gives the crowd a big thumbs up and gets a loud cheer in return. "See, I even treat my competiton with love and respect!"

[happyturtle]

Happy looks as if she's going to slap him, but at the last minute, her hand shapeshifts into an insectile claw and slashes viciously across his face, leaving 5 long bleeding gashes.

"If you ever touch me again, I'll disembowel you and use your empty husk to feed my brood."

[UncleWolf]

On the corpse is a note reading: "Trust me, I know."

[Dirk Kris]

Ha, good one Wolfy.

Dirk steps away from the woman and her scary hand and voice, eyes wide. He touches a hand to his cheek, and when it comes away bloody, he wails. "MY FACE! I'M TOO PRETTY FOR THIS!" He hurries off the stage, where a flock of his loyal FEMALE voters tend to his wounds.

[happyturtle]

"I'm afraid your pretty face isn't going to be able to compensate for your other *ahem* deficiencies anymore." Happy says sweetly.

[UncleWolf]

If Alizarin wasn't dead, he'd be laughing.

[Dirk Kris]

Dirk ignores Happy, but his gaggle of gals does not. One woman, striding...oddly...almost waddling...comes up and glares at scary-handed woman. "You're just jealous! All you politicians are the same - greedy and selfish and ruthless!" A glare from the women around her makes her flush. "Except Dirky - he's wonderful and honest and doesn't have any DEFICIENCIES!" A chorus of "YEAH's" erupts around her, and several husbands look...uneasy.

[happyturtle]

"Hmph. A real man wouldn't need a woman to defend him. A real man is one who protects others. Like my Alizarin. Of course that didn't stop me from devouring him."

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"And I thought I was crazy," mutters Cap'n Fullbladder, from under a ten gallon cowboy hat. Note ta self, get Strauss to charge the turbolasers."

[Mordokai]

Well, you kinda are... just not as crazy :smalltongue: :smallbiggrin:

Oh and, happy now officially scares me.

[Dirk Kris]

Dirk glares at Happy, then pulls out his guitar. The women around him swoon and make room for him to sit. He strums gently, his eyes on Happy, a smirk on his lips, and starts to sing.

"I once thought that you were pretty
That maybe you'd be the girl for me
When we kissedit sent tingles through me
Wondered if you would be my true love, Happy..."

A wide grin, as the notes change to power chords and Dirk raises his voice.

"But it all was bull crap
It was a goddam joke
And when I think of you, Happy
I hope you freakin' choke!"

[TheBibliophile]

*steps up to yet another podium*

My people. I have only one thing to say to you...

Vote for me, the only candidate who has read Machiavelli's The Prince and therefore knows how to run a country!

[Dallas-Dakota]

Vote for the candidate which wants a update!

If you vote me, you will get more updates!
If you vote me, you will get more accurate times for updates!

Vote me, and playgrounders will rule the world!

[Murska]

Suddenly, Aaron Carter Murska arrived, out of the blue, using a combined guitar-jetpack with an underslung rocket launcher and a combi-flamethrower/HoN Mark IV Laserbeam.

His landing incinerated a part of Dirk's crowd and another, even larger part was crushed under the stage and giant amplifiers. Murskocalypse was here!

A mic fell from the sky and impaled itself into the spine of a nearby bleeding injured woman.

"Yo dawg, imma let you finish but you dissin' my daughter here and that just won't stand. So I herd you like songs so I made a song for this occasion so you can die while you lie."

"So this guy, this Dirk Kris S-O-B
dares wish my daughter ill?
Oh rise up now my bros in arms,
we got something to kill.

The wolven kind, now bare your fangs,
the devils are here too.
As sound of evil laughter falls,
the Beast will target you!

You don't just ROCK to Mordor,
not even with your pop.
But with that kind of failed try?
You wouldn't reach the corner shop.

*SO WHAT MUST YOU LEARN?*

You must remember some things,
about the Happyturtle:
Don't turn your back,
don't drop your guard,
don't trust her with your life.

Don't give her up,
don't let her down (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0),
or your future will hold a *whack*

And with the last word, the spikey part(which, you might ask? All of it!) of Mur Ska the Mock Czar of Rum Sack's guitar connects with Dirk's face, again. Then the stage and equipment packs up seemingly without outside influence and flies away, Murska leaving last on his jetpack.

[Reinholdt]

Dirk glares at Happy, then pulls out his guitar. The women around him swoon and make room for him to sit. He strums gently, his eyes on Happy, a smirk on his lips, and starts to sing.

"I once thought that you were pretty
That maybe you'd be the girl for me
When we kissedit sent tingles through me
Wondered if you would be my true love, Happy..."

A wide grin, as the notes change to power chords and Dirk raises his voice.

"But it all was bull crap
It was a goddam joke
And when I think of you, Happy
I hope you freakin' choke!"
"HEY! You creep! Stop stealing my gig!" Says the voice that's not there. "I'm the singer around here!"

Random stage stuff starts floating up and looking menacing as it hovers closer to Dirk. None of it actually is there of course.

I was born to rule the world
And I almost achieved that goal. (Reinholdt)
But my pokemon, the mighty Meowth
Had more power than I could control. (Reinholdt)

Still he inspired this mechanical marvel
That learns and returns each attack. (Reinholdt)
My Mecha Meowth, the ultimate weapon
Will tell them Reinholdt is back!
Hahahaha!!

There'll be world domination
Complete obliteration
Of all who now defy me!
Let the universe prepare
Good Pokemon beware
You fools shall not deny me.
Now Go, Go, Go, Go!

It will all be mine
Powers so divine
I'll tell the sun to shine
On only me!
It will all be mine
Till the end of time
When this perfect crime makes history
Team Catboys!
This is our destiny...

Listen up you scheming fools
No excuses and no more lies. (Reinholdt)
You've heard my most ingenious plan
I demand the ultimate prize. (Reinholdt)
No bring me the yellow pokemon
And bear witness as I speak. (Reinholdt)
I shall possess the awesome power
In Pikachu's rosy cheeks.
Hahahaha!!

There'll be world domination
Complete obliteration
Of all who now defy me!
Let the universe prepare
Good Pokemon beware
You fools shall not deny me.
Now Go, Go, Go, Go!

It will all be mine
Powers so divine
I'll tell the sun to shine
On only me!
It will all be mine
Till the end of time
When this perfect crime makes history
Team Catboys!
This is our destiny...

(Bayar & Keris Rain DUET)
To protect the world from devastation
To unite all peoples within our nation
To denounce the evils of truth and love
To extend our reach to the stars above

(Keris SOLO)
Keris!

(Bayar SOLO)
Bayar!

(Reinholdt SOLO)
There'll be total devastation
Pure annihilation
Or absolute surrender!
I'll have limitless power
This is our finest hour!
Now Go, Go, Go, Go!

[Zar Peter]

Just a note, Times up, I'm writing, no more actions or changes will be accepted.

[Zar Peter]

END OF ROUND 1

Thank you all for your campaigning. Here are the results of day 1:

The Great Party Leader and his adviser are sitting in the hexagonal office.

So, tell me, how are these “Elections” working?

Well, we divided the country into 7 constituencies. Every constituency sends one or more politicians to the next step, the state parliament…

We have a parliament? Since when?

We founded them just for this election. So, there there will be an election again and then there will be one or more elections in the captial until only one candidate is left.

Oh my god, so much fuss about this. Can’t I just simply appoint a president?

Well, you could but then the UNO would cut our funds. Unfortunately they demand free elections before they hand us over the money.

Ok, ok. Unless the people don’t think they can elect whom they want everything is perfect. So, at which step we are?

The constituencies just took their polls. First we got a message from the northern district, let’s see what the message says:

The main fight was between nearly everyone and this black robed man. Destro Yersul. Very strange campaign. He drove to an election event, rattled with his scythe and scared all people away. You would think that he gained no vote at all but two of his hot tempered opponents, Inigo Montoya and Geesi, dared to attack him in one event openly. They died on instant. Then nobody wanted to debate with him and he won the competition. But in this district they allowed three winners so the opponents of the two dead politicians were elected without a vote. It was one Azure Butterfly and a Grim Ranger who knocked down two reporters who asked him who he wants to vote for.

An Azure Butterfly?

That’s what it says here.

Who on earth nominated an azure Butterfly for president?

I believe it was a Lepidopterologist. A Butterfly scientist if you ask.

Oh, ok. What comes from the south?

Well, we had two candidates there. Banjo1985, a local landlord and nobody.

You said two candidates.

Yes. Nobody was the second. It was pretty weird, they had to nominate two candidates but nobody volunteered so they took nobody. And to give him at least a bit of a body they said nobody is the music that stuck in your ears.

And what happened?

Let’s see… ah yes, it seems the Landlord ate too much and exploded and nobody won with 99.9% of votes. They say they heard “Danny Boy” while voting and that convinced them.

So we have a Butterfly and a song so far? God praise the UNO.

Well, maybe we should make more restriction laws about nominating next time. And don’t forget the man with the scythe and the Grim Ranger.

Oh no, how could I forget. Sigh. Go on with it, please.

Well, on Ocean Island we had 7 candidates.

Wait, Ocean Island? That’s a tiny rock in the sea? How many inhabitants are living there?

Umm… 50 sir.

Are you crazy? 50 people and you make a whole constituency out of it? We have 12 million people on the mainland.

Yes, but Ocean Island is so far away, it doesn’t match to any other constituency. And they are very proud of their independence from any other part of our country.

Ok, well. Who was elected then.

Well, the first one who was nominated was Wolfbane, he was very popular because he had a flamethrower. Unfortunately he died a year ago so only his corpse were dragged to the elections. One of his opponents, Crimmy, who’s completely blind, tripped over it and turned it accidental on. He died, as did billtodamax and Mordokai, who just fell asleep short before the accident happened.
Then DD the Cookiemonster tried to hold a speech but he was lynched by the bystanders because they didn’t want a bloody foreigner to be elected.

Bloody foreigner?

Well, one of his great great parents wasn’t born on the island.

I see. And the other candidates?

Dr. Bath slipped and knocked himself to dead after he held a philosophical speech naked in a fish barrel. Nobody really understood him but the crowd applauded in the end.

And then there was a Fleeing Coward. He was total honest but a bit scared. Before he should hold his first speech he ran away and drowned because he couldn’t swim and… well, you can’t run away very far on that island.

So, who got actually nominated? You told me there were 7 candidates but all 7 seems to be dead or something else.

No, no. Everyone who was nominated was dead so the decided to send the guy they don’t need on the island. We got Fin. We don’t know anything about him but he’s coming to the elections soon.

Ok. Now the capital. Tell me about the elections here.

See, since this is the capital we have some special rules here.

Yes?

Well… There’s only one candidate per district. We have evnafets, who won the economy district with 89% of votes. Some may have bothered his alternating stink but his winning smile convinced most of the stockbrokers.
Then, in the University district we had RedScholarGypsy, an Orang Utan who won with 100% and there was a big cheer amongst the students when the exit polls where made public.
In the urban district there was St. Sinner who convinced 95% of his voters with his demand of free guns for every child under 13. He is also famous for staying in bars till daylight.
And in the immigrant district Vampiric got 135% of votes.

135%???

Well, I believe his vote pullers were pretty convincing. A lot of houses burnt down during his campaign.

Ok, ok, I can see the picture. Let’s go to the east then, shall we?

Ah yes. Very interesting there. Very charismatic people to vote. There were a lot of primary primary polls before the real poll started. In one of them, one of the most charismatic politicians, Dirk Kris, was shot to death by his opponent Happyturtle. It is said that Dirk wanted to take up with Happy but got the wrong person. So Happyturtle and an elder mayor, Thanatos, took up the fight against the bum Freshmeat and the witches Deathslayer7 and The Bookworm. In the end it turned out that although the witches could use magic to turn sympathies they couldn’t use this magic for very long and it didn’t work far away. They only could convince 4 people to vote for them. Incidentaly these were their parents.

So Happyturtle, Thanatos and Freshmeat were elected?

Well, and Uncle Festy.

Why this guy?

Well, he killed everyone who didn’t vote for him. Then he voted and won with 100% of all votes in his district.

Cunning man. So, then we have the western part. What’s up there?

Well, three candidates there. Two noble men and one Velociraptor.

Velociraptor?

It’s a dinosaur, sir.

They exist?

Only in the west. But it’s a strong population there so we though they should be nominated.

And?

Well, there was a TV discussion between all candidates. The two nobles, Lord Fullbladder, a famous Space Captain and Lord Herman, a rather simple politician, both argued that Dinosaurs shouldn’t get elected. The Velociraptor listened a while and in the end he said something like: “Die human scum” and devoured them.

And that was it?

Yes. He got 67% of the votes. Pretty much the amount of Dinosaur population in the west I believe.

Oh. Than it’s ok. Can’t argue reptile population. That was it then, I believe. All counties counted hehe.

Not quite all. You forgot the South south east province. It is independent since 5 months and demanded a candidate, too.

What? That’s an isle of geeks and nerds. Totally unexperienced in politics.

Yes, the campaign was very odd. The candidate from the nerds, Opeth Freak overslept nearly every speech and the candidate of the geeks, TheBiblophile, made a slip of words in nearly every sentence. In the end the geeks won by hosting a LAN-Party at election day. The Bibliophile got 100% of all votes.

So, then we wait another two weeks for the next round?

Only three days sir. The candidates don't need too much time to prepare.

... to be continued.

And here are the actions:

{table=head]Player | action
Azure Butterfly | shoot Inigo Montoya
banjo1985 | shoot Reinholdt
billtodamax | shoot self
Crimmy | shoot self
DD the Cookiemonster | shoot self
deathslayer7 | shoot The Bookworn
Destro Yersul | shoot self
Dirk Kris | shoot deathslayer
Dr. Bath | shoot self
evnafets | shoot air
Fin | Timeout 1
Fleeing Coward | shoot self
Freshmeat | shoot deathslayer
Geesi | shoot Destro Yersul
Grim ranger | shoot Geesi
happyturtle | shoot Dirk Kris
Inigo Montoya | shoot Destro Yersul
Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins | shoot Night Surgeon
Lord Herman | shoot Night Surgeon
Mordokai | shoot self
Night Surgeon | shoot self
Opeth Freak | Shoot The Bibliophile
RedScholarGypsy | shoot air
Reinholdt | shoot self
St. Sinner | shoot air
Thanatos 51-50 | shoot Dirk Kris
The Bookworm | Timeout 1
TheBibliophile | shoot self
Uncle Festy | shoot The Bookworn
Vampiric | Timeout 1
Wolfbane | shoot self
[/table]

And here are the surviving players who should send in their actions until next Wednesday (at least 72 hours from now):

Azure Butterfly
Destro_Yersul
evnafets
Fin
Freshmeat
Grim ranger
happyturtle
Night Surgeon
RedScholarGypsy
Reinholdt
St. Sinner
Thanatos 51-50
TheBibliophile
Uncle Festy
Vampiric

[Dallas-Dakota]

Heh, great narration Zar!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Relying on a life support hat connected to dextrous, mechanical legs, the severed head of Captain Fullbladder scuttled over a distant, rocky outcropping. He turned and looked back at the country he had almost legitamently conquered, and grinned.

"Once more, I, Jonathan Fullbladder, have cheated death!"

In the same instant he finished, the rock beneath him gave way, and he skidded down the hill towards the waiting hulk of the Nemesis.

And no one on that particular planet ever saw him again.

[The Bookworm]

Shot twice? I liked it better when nobody knew I existed!

[Reinholdt]

I love Zar Peter so much sometimes. :smallbiggrin:
Gotta admit that velociraptor bit was pretty cool.

Better luck next time Banjo. :smallwink:
I sense a rivalry. Didn't you get me last time?
Oh well.
Round 2! Whoooo!

[happyturtle]

Hehehe... :smallamused:

I wouldn't have made it to round two if I hadn't changed my action at the last minute. Thanks for making it personal, Dirk. :smallbiggrin:

[RedScholarGypsy]

Heh. I just shot the Air in New Jersey.

And all you guys shot were politicians. Bah! I'm going after the real bad guys!:smallamused:

[Reinholdt]

Heh. I just shot the Air in New Jersey.

And all you guys shot were politicians. Bah! I'm going after the real bad guys!:smallamused:
That's not true! I shot Nothing. :smalltongue:

[Fleeing Coward]

That's not true! I shot Nothing. :smalltongue:

Me too :smalltongue:

[Reinholdt]

Me too :smalltongue:
Yeah, but you killed Nothing where as I didn't kill Anything.

[Fleeing Coward]

Yeah, but you killed Nothing where as I didn't kill Anything.

The narrator killed nothing. I didn't want to kill anything :smalltongue:

[Zar Peter]

The narrator killed nothing. I didn't want to kill anything :smalltongue:

I didn't kill nothing! Nothing is still alive, singing an irish song... :smallwink:

[St.Sinner]

Mwaha, I knew my gun laws would be popular! My new campaign promise is a free beer and bottle of Prozac to accompany every gun; a program I call "No Child Left Unmedicated".

[banjo1985]

Better luck next time Banjo. :smallwink:
I sense a rivalry. Didn't you get me last time?

:smalltongue:
I'll get you next time Mr Kit E Kat!
A rivalry?

*whistles innocently*

What rivalry? :smallbiggrin:

[Thanatos 51-50]

"sir - we think you should wear a suit to the next summit."

"A suit? What do you mean a suit! A suit won't protect me from bullets!"

"It's an election, sir, not a battlefield."

A series of shots ring out. Mayor Thanatos exists from the capagin room wearing body armour and gives another rousing, poorly thought-out speech.

[TheBibliophile]

I can't believe I actually survived the first round!

I knew someone would want to kill me, and I was right!

*steps up to another podium*

It's quite simple, chaps. Vote for me, or I'll kick you in the nuts and then brutalise your books.

[RedScholarGypsy]

I can't believe I actually survived the first round!

I knew someone would want to kill me, and I was right!

*steps up to another podium*

It's quite simple, chaps. Vote for me, or I'll kick you in the nuts and then brutalise your books.

Eek!

An Orangutan jumps from the audience, lands on Bibliophile's shoulders, causing him to slump to the ground enough for the microphone to be face-level. Staring at the thousands now looking on him, the Librarian takes a bite out of the banana in hand while scratching his head. He leans forward:

Ooookeekekkookeeekooookekekokook.

He jumpes down and amples off the stage to thunderous applause.

[Zar Peter]

End of round, no actions accepted from now on. Narration will come tomorrow (since my wife will attend Austria - Funchal and not I :smallyuk:)

[TheBibliophile]

Eek!

An Orangutan jumps from the audience, lands on Bibliophile's shoulders, causing him to slump to the ground enough for the microphone to be face-level. Staring at the thousands now looking on him, the Librarian takes a bite out of the banana in hand while scratching his head. He leans forward:

Ooookeekekkookeeekooookekekokook.

He jumpes down and amples off the stage to thunderous applause.

The Bibliophile straightens up and shouts "Summon Monster IX!" An ice-blue hezrou appears and follows the orangutan. An immense battle begins off-stage, but is quickly resolved by the hezrou's one-two combo of an Unholy Blight and a Blasphemy. The demon bows towards the podium and vanishes. The Bibliophile straightens his cape and turns to the audience.

"The rules have changed a bit, chaps. Vote for me or I'll let my demon loose on this island. The polls close tomorrow, my fellow citizens. Be sure to make the right choice."

He turns, and confidently barks the words "Greater Teleport"! An ice-blue nimbus surrounds him and he disappears, leaving the inhabitants of the South-South-East province to clear up the mess.

@V :vaarsuvius: Protection from Arrows. Which, incidentally, also includes shuri- machine-gun bullets.

[Fan]

:seconds later a Velociaraptor appears wielding a Heavy Machine gun, firing upon the Bibliophile.:

"The rules have changed again, those who defy the Raptor overlords will be eaten."

[Zar Peter]

END OF ROUND 2

A dark and cold night. A house in downtown. Decent garden, well tended. Suddenly squealing tires. A car comes to a halt just before the house, three people, dressed in black jumping out, taking their tommy guns and running to the house. One is braking up the door, then the three vanishing into it. A fourth man, rather old with a uniform steps out of the car, leaning against it and lighting a cigarette. He waits.
“Searching for me, aren’t you Major Thanatos?” A voice out of the darkness give’s him a shock.
“Happy? But you ought to… I mean..”
“Don’t lie to me. You wanted to kill me. But I was warned. Actually, one of your man took pity of me and told me your devious plans.” Slowly she shifted her shape into a monster. Her voice changed into dark.
“So now I can get rid of you. Came to close to me, murderer”

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

She hesitated as she heard the voice but then she pierced a tentacle into the heart of the startled soldier. Just in the time she finished her work the other man came out of the house, wanting to report that they found nobody. But when they saw their chief lying in his blood and a tentaculous monster standing above him they started shooting. And as they shot they heard something in their ears.

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side

So, today’s the second vote then. All candidates are in the capital.

Not all sir. First we had this incident at night. Thanatos and happyturtle are out of the race I fear. It was a very rough political campaign. And the ship with Fin on board sank.

The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying

What? Oh, yes, the candidate from ocean island. All the others are here?

Well, there’s this Vampiric guy who one the elections of the immigrant district. It seems he cheated.

What? But he looked so honest.

The election observer meant that it’s not possible to gain 135% in an election and disqualified him. It was a brave man.

Why? Even I can see that 135% of the votes is impossible to gain. That’s not a brave act.

It’s the fact that he was found on the bottom of the river with concrete boots. That makes his statement pretty brave. Anyway, Vampiric is banned from the elections.

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

So, ok, beside these four all other candidates are still waiting for the results of the elections.

Yes, and we have them. Here for example. The party had to vote between this Butterfly pinned in a box and… the black robed man with a scythe.

Who won?

You see, the people where pretty scared by the black man and the Butterfly nearly convinced them with his pretty colours but then…

Yes?

Destro Yersul made a speech and stated that he will visit everyone who doesn’t vote for him. Somehow that worked, he got nearly every vote.

Hey, that would be an idea for other politicians, too. Vote for me or I come to you and talk to you for a few hours.

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

What? But, yes, that would be a great idea. Anyway, there was a lethal accident in a TV discussion today.

What? Lethal in a TV discussion? Did they shoot each other again?

No, no. It was pretty cold in the studio so they tried to heat it a bit with portable gas heaters. And as evnafets stood up to hold a speech he stood to close to one of these.

So he get a bit burned. And?

Evnafets is famous. He has a winning smile and is overall a very decent and neat person but his dedication to garlic and onions is also undescribable. And this gives him the winds. In this case it were firestorms.

Oh. Burnt by his own gas. Poor guy. Any other casualties?

Not exactly. Just the bum Freshmeat, another candidate, instead of helping evnafets tried to warm his hands in the fire. He got boohed of the stage. Doesn’t have a chance in winning a election for the next 50 years I fear.

Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow

What is this?? Anyway, what’s about this Velociraptor? Is the Dinosaur in the capital, too?

Yes, he is. And pretty successful as I can say. His rude and uncommunicative behavior made him a star beyond certain parts of the population. In fact the geeks and the nerds dumped their former star Bibliophile and are followers of the Saurier. It also helped that The Bibliophile lost a street fight against this Grim ranger.

'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow

*Looks around nervously*
So, there is this orang utan left, I suppose?

Yes, the ape. Well, he wanted to fetch a book in the library but was never seen again.

A book? Must have been very important then.

I think the title was “Convince people with themes, not with look”. Maybe he hasn’t found it yet.

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

Anything else happened? Apart from this song… book?

What? Oh yes, Uncle Festy and St. Sinner where fighting each other but in the end they decided to work together. They added their votes and decided that they have 100% and both are elected.

That’s possible?

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

SHUT UP!… oh, sorry. Well, yes, it’s possible since we don’t have laws against it. But we are learning out of these actions and adapt our legislation.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

AAArrrrgh! What’s this song. I’m getting mad. It’s stuck in my ears!

This? Oh, this is a Reinholdt?

A Reinholdt? They gave it a name?

Oh yes. Remember the song from day 1? Well, it came to the capital, too. And it’s still here. If you have Danny boy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU) in your ears you have a Reinholdt.

Ah yes. That explains every… wait. That’s complete rubbish.

Yes, but it’s a song in your ears who wants to get elected for president. Do you have a correct description for it?

If you put it this way… no. Well done, let’s see how the third round turns out to be.

The actions:

{table=head]Player | action
Azure Butterfly | shoot Destro Yersul
Destro Yersul | shoot self
evnafets | shoot self
Fin | Timout 2 - dead
Freshmeat | shoot self
Grim ranger | shoot The Bibliophile
happyturtle | shoot Thanatos
Night Surgeon | shoot self
RedScholarGypsy | shoot self
Reinholdt | shoot air
St. Sinner | shoot air
Thanatos 51-50 | happyturtle
TheBibliophile | shoot Night Surgeon
Uncle Festy | shoot air
Vampiric | Timout 2 - dead
[/table]

And the surviving players:

Destro Yersul
Grim ranger
Night Surgeon
Reinholdt
St. Sinner
Uncle Festy


Please send in your actions in the next 72 hours!

[Reinholdt]

:smallcool:
Zar's is blessed by the stars by an extreme amount of awesome.
Here's a squid bone in the shape of trophy.

And whoo! First time to round three! :smallbiggrin:
This calls for a song!

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive.

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you.

Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa -
THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great:
It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.

Still alive
Still alive

[happyturtle]

The corpse of Carly Bryson falls down next to the corpse of Alizarin Viscose.


D'awwww! http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/liebe/love-smiley-045.gif

[Grim ranger]

:smallcool:
Zar's is blessed by the stars by an extreme amount of awesome.
Here's a squid bone in the shape of trophy.

And whoo! First time to round three! :smallbiggrin:
This calls for a song!

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive.

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you.

Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa -
THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great:
It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive

And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.

Still alive
Still alive

Aargh! Now that song won't leave my head! Rein! I'm so going to shoot you, no matter how snuggly or cute you are! :smallmad:

Not that you weren't my favourite cat still. Nothing personal, furball :smallbiggrin:

Also, I am still alive too. Yay :smallamused:

[Fan]

I swear if I win this, Raptor Kind will devour you all. :smallsmile:

Vote Megaraptor!

[TheBibliophile]

Dammit! Why did I not know that Grim would shoot me?

:smallannoyed:

[Fan]

Dammit! Why did I not know that Grim would shoot me?

:smallannoyed:

More like, how did you not know I'd shoot myself?

It's been my every action since I've been in RAF.:smalltongue:

[Reinholdt]

Aargh! Now that song won't leave my head! Rein! I'm so going to shoot you, no matter how snuggly or cute you are! :smallmad:

Not that you weren't my favourite cat still. Nothing personal, furball :smallbiggrin:

Also, I am still alive too. Yay :smallamused:
:smallbiggrin:
So I'm GLaD I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.

[RedScholarGypsy]

:smallbiggrin:
So I'm GLaD I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.

Now I have to play portal again to get it out of my system.

...wait, why am I grumbling?

And still no one shoots me. Need to increase the hate.

[Zar Peter]

END OF ROUND 3

So, the second round is over for more than three days, what happened?

This was a triumph.

Well, I think the narrator wasn’t quite well. But there’s an update! Halleluja!

I’m making a note here: Huge success.

Yes, yes. Huge success and all. This music is ANNOYING!

It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Sorry, sir. But the music made it to round three!

Aperture Science:
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.

Well, to round three but not farther! Turn this damn music off!

But there's no sense crying over every mistake

SHUT UP!

You just keep on trying till you run out of cake

If you want something done you have to do it yourself.

And the science gets done and you ma… *click *

Summary: Reinholdt shot himself. Reinholdt was a villager candidate

What was that?

I think that was a WW summary.

WW? World War?

No, Werewolf. It's a kind of game.

And what has that to do with our election? This is getting weirder and weirder. What happens next?

Well, there was this TV discussion between the Velociraptor, the evil necromancer and the perfectly normal politician.

Let me guess... the perfectly normal villager got eaten by the Velociraptor?

Well, kind of... the evil necromancer turned him undead before.

* sigh * Ok, who's left else?

There's this scary person with the scythe. You know, dresses all black, bony, holding an egg timer all of the time?

Yes? Did he win an election?

Nearly.

What nearly? He lost?

He got lynched. The people thought he was a bad guy.

But we don't have bad guys here! They are only politicians. The people shouldn't kill them, they should elect them.

Well, the principle is new to most off them. You can't deny 500 years of oppression.

Ok then, is there anybody else?

Oh yes! The guy who's constantly in Bars and promises free guns for all kids has announced a new program: Free beer and bottle of Prozac to accompany every gun; a program he calls: "No Child Left Unmedicated".

He got lynched, too, I suppose?

Ermm... no, he got 80% of the votes. Actually the people donate honesty.

Oh my god, how do I explain that to the UNO?

Actions:

{table=head]Player | action
Destro Yersul | Shoot self
Grim ranger | Shoot Uncle Festy
Night Surgeon | Shoot Grim Ranger
Reinholdt | Shoot self
St. Sinner | shoot air
Uncle Festy | shoot self
[/table]

Surviving players:

Night Surgeon
St. Sinner
Uncle Festy


Please send in your actions in the next 72 hours.

[Reinholdt]

Awww... so close this time.

This calls for a song! I think I'll do... MMmmmmphh!
*gets dragged off into existence, non-existent mouth covered*

[Uncle Festy]

Sweet! :smallbiggrin:

[RedScholarGypsy]

I vote for Festy!

[Grim ranger]

Dang! I got double shotted...

Next time revenge will be mine!!! :smallmad::smalltongue:

Good luck to St. Sinner...kill 'em all, mah girl :smallwink:

[billtodamax]

Go St Sinner! I want my medication and weaponry!

[Reinholdt]

I dunno... I think I'd like to see a velociraptor in office.

[Fan]

:Bumpity:

Bump the power?

[Zar Peter]

I'll bath the kids and then I'll write something.

It has totally nothing to do with the fact that I discovered Dwarf Fortress yesterday.

[Lord Herman]

The next RAF should be about dorfs. It'd be Fun!

[Fan]

Actually, I was wondering if, for the final round, we could do this with a vote with the contestants being the hyptothetical candidates.

I know it's not RAF, but I feel it would be in the spirit of the theme if we would.

If no one else wants to you can utterly ignore this.:smalltongue:

[happyturtle]

On the one hand, it is amusing and fits the theme.

On the other hand, watching the candidates fight to the death would increase interest in the electoral process.

Go Velociraptor! :smallbiggrin:

[Zar Peter]

END OF THE GAME

Party leaders office. A middle aged man is sitting in front of a PC. You can hear a faint sound which is getting boring after the second tune (it's definitely not Reinholdt). An older man is entering the room. The inhabitant of the room starts up and quickly presses a few keys. Than he's starting to panic and turns off the screen. With a red face he's turning to his assistant.

What? I just discovered this new... never mind. What is it now?

Well, I just wanted to inform you that we have a new president, sir. He's waiting in the dining room to be inaugurated.

What? He is? So soon?

Well, you stayed two whole days in your office without a sign. I thought I have to inform you once and the president is starting to smell...

Oh, ok. Who is it? I hope I don't have to deal with a Velociraptor?

Didn't you read any newspaper I tossed to you under the door?

* Looks to the pile of papers at the door he just opened *

Oh, obviously not... well, than I'll tell you the happenings now. You see, at the last day the candidates visited the local schools. First there was Uncle Festy, he did quite a good job, the kids cheered when his nose fell off and stuff but they weren't VERY impressed. Than came this St. Sinner guy and he handed out some pre-election promises to the pupils.

Ah, some candies or pens I believe.

Erm... actually he handed them semi-automatic guns, machine guns and pistols. They kids where really exited. And when the Velociraptor entered the school and roared a bit they decided to try their new toys. We didn't find very much of Night Surgeon after the blow.

Oh. Than this St. Sinner guy got elected?

Well, you know kids aren't allowed to vore? So they went home to tell their parents about how cool St. Sinner is and then the parents went to the elections and just as they wanted to vote for him...

Yes??

Uncle Festy shot them. And then he raised the dead and told them to go to the other polling boths and shoot all people who want to vote for St. Sinner. And then he told all the Zombies to vote for him. He won the election, but the whole population over 18 has turned into Zombies by now.

Oh no! The poor kids! They are all alone. They must be frightened to the bones.

Are you kidding? Their parents have turned into Zombies, they are fully armed and trained by video games. You can hear the cheering and the shooting even here in the palace if you make an effort to do so.

Oh, so we have an evil necromancer to inaugurate as president now?

Yes. But don't worry, we'll send him the UNO headquarters in New York. He won't attract very much attention there.

Ok, I'll go and see him. And afterwards... could you serve me some pizza here? I have to finish this fortress...


Actions:

Night Surgeon: Shoot Air
St. Sinner: Shoot Night Surgeon
Uncle Festy: Shoot St. Sinner

The winner of Ready Aim Fire Classic XXV - Primary Colours is

UNCLE FESTY

Congratulations!

Thank you all for playing, I hope you had fun and sorry again for the delay.

[UncleWolf]

Congratulations Festy. :smallsmile:

It would have been better if I won though. <.<

[Fan]

Darn, the ONE time I choose not to shoot myself it would have paid off.:smallannoyed:

Ah, well. good Job Festy. I'll try to make it to dah win in the next game.

[happyturtle]

*petitions for our new leader to animate Velociraptor to be Vice President*

[Reinholdt]

Great job! :smallsmile:
Second that motion. Zombie velociraptor is even better than a regular velociraptor.

I think this calls for a song!
*gets shot*
... Nevermind then.

[UncleWolf]

I also agree to the undead dinosaur idea.

[Fan]

You all know your dead if we get a case of zombie raptors right?:smalltongue:

Human zombies are bad enough, but when you have a army of UNDEAD Raptors chasing you down.. Well... Your going to have some problems.:smalltongue:

[Uncle Festy]

YAY! ^^
*celebrates his inauguration by raising the Velocoraptor as his vice-president*
Have to say, I'm glad I won, but a Velociraptor president woulda been awesome. :smallbiggrin:

[Fan]

Ah well, Velociaraptor plans the assassination of the man who reanimated him.

Silly Necromancer's and their creation of Inteligent Undead.:smalltongue:

[Uncle Festy]

Who said I gave you free will? :smalltongue:

[St.Sinner]

Haha, superb ending, Zar! Well done, Festy.

So close... Well, I'll just have to settle for publishing my campaign experiences in my upcoming new memoir: "Taking a Level of Rogue".