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Da Pwnzlord
2009-09-24, 04:15 PM
My fellow PCs and I have come into possession of a key that can unlock absolutely any lock. What are some good way to profit from the key? The party is all Good aligned except for a LN character, and the party also includes a paladin, so bank robbery and breaking and entering are out of the question.

Pharaoh's Fist
2009-09-24, 04:16 PM
Are we including metaphorical and metaphysical locks as well?

Tyndmyr
2009-09-24, 04:20 PM
Woohoo, chastity belts shall hinder you no more!

In seriousness, I'd stuff it in the bottom of a pack, allowing the DM to forget about it, until a nifty opportunity comes along...and it will. Locked doors are too common for it not to arise.

Guancyto
2009-09-24, 04:24 PM
Are we including metaphorical and metaphysical locks as well?

This. Will it for instance undo Dimension Lock?

Can it lock the heart of your planet?

oxybe
2009-09-24, 04:29 PM
Phase 1: Collect Underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit

Kurald Galain
2009-09-24, 04:30 PM
Pass through Death Mountain in the Legend of Zelda?

Godskook
2009-09-24, 04:37 PM
My fellow PCs and I have come into possession of a key that can unlock absolutely any lock. What are some good way to profit from the key? The party is completely unwilling to make use of or profit from our possession of it.

Fixed it for you!

-------------------

In all seriousness, I can't think of a single thing a group of good and lawful PCs could do with an item like that. I mean, the most plausible would be opening dungeon doors in pursuit of the BBEG, but unlocking said door is not what you're worried about (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0036.html).

Korivan
2009-09-24, 04:40 PM
Leave no bank or treasury untouched.

jiriku
2009-09-24, 04:41 PM
Sell it for a ridiculous amount of money. Use the cash to buy boots of teleportation and laugh at those low-power chumps who still use doors to come and go.

Foryn Gilnith
2009-09-24, 04:46 PM
Give it to your local Church of Law and let them analyze the enchantment to make truly impenetrable locks. Collect royalties from the sales they make, gain honor and prestige in the church, and rest in ease knowing that you didn't use it to violate your alignment.

ericgrau
2009-09-24, 04:49 PM
You found an adamantine dagger? :smallconfused:

I'd keep it on my character sheet and keep quiet about it for a long time. Then we'd switch DM's and wait for him to set up an uberlocked invincible ancient magic door. Then I'd say, "Remember that key we got a few months ago?"

Faleldir
2009-09-24, 04:54 PM
I'd stick it in the keyhole in a Warforged's chest and see what happens.

The J Pizzel
2009-09-24, 04:59 PM
Bring it to the wealthiest country, open Pandora's Box, only close again when they agree to a large sum of money. Go to second wealthiest country, open Pandora's Box, only close again when they agree to large sum of money. Go to third wealthiest country...

Lapak
2009-09-24, 05:02 PM
Give it to someone else. Find some Valiant Rebels fighting an Evil Overlord you're too busy or unable to deal with and let them have it; they'll put it to good use for jailbreaks and stealing from the rich to feed the poor and so on.

Milskidasith
2009-09-24, 05:05 PM
So you got a Wand of Knock, basically?

Jade_Tarem
2009-09-24, 05:13 PM
So you got a Wand of Knock, basically?

If Baldur's Gate II taught me anything, it's that Knock only works on doors that aren't plot-critical. :smalltongue:

Find a love interest and show that you have the key to her heart!

Alternatively, unlock the latent goodness of the BBEG to defeat him.

Unlock your latent psychic abilities.

Unlock the paladin's wild side before you go to the next town.

Unlock the party's true potential.

When the enemy's Magic Missiles have a lock on you, set a readied action to unlock - you'll be the first adventurers in history to make that spell miss.

Ok, I'm done being goofy. The best thing for you to do is bury and not use it until the DM throws the big bad door of badness at you.

Sinfire Titan
2009-09-24, 05:32 PM
So you basically got the Skeleton Key (http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Skeleton_Key), and now want to know how to use it?

Find the Gray Cowl (http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Gray_Cowl_of_Nocturnal) first. If Lawful-aligned, use the two to enforce order on the underworld/your enemies (if Good/Evil, respectively). If Chaotic, turn yourself into the mini-Mafia by proclaiming a robbery the week before you actually execute it, then offer protection to the victims in the form of your party members. Use the cowl to decieve your own party by wearing it/removing it when they can't see you use it, and get away with damn near anything.


Seriously, such an item needs the Gray Cowl's annonmity effects to be very useful except in certain circumstances.

taltamir
2009-09-24, 06:20 PM
Are we including metaphorical and metaphysical locks as well?

Heh, First thing I thought from reading the TITLE, first thing said in response to this thread...

Cause you can make a "keys to your heart metaphor" for a god/ess of choice (not necessarily in love potion sort a thing, but in terms of "turning them from evil"). Or a keys of creation, or key to immortality, etc etc... Keys to the gates of heaven (make it into a high class resort), key to the gates between dimensions... etc etc etc..

But I imagine it is not metaphysical and metaphorical.
So I like the "keep it a secret" and "analyze for royalties" approaches best.

If you are really greedy, first make duplicates of the keys, sell them for a LOT.... then when the robberies begin, start selling banks and vaults locks... FOR A LOT... then sell everyone keys for cheap, then sell everyone locks for cheap, finally... release the plans for the key on the open market. So everyone can have one, and only YOUR locks still work :)

ericgrau
2009-09-24, 06:33 PM
If Baldur's Gate II taught me anything, it's that Knock only works on doors that aren't plot-critical. :smalltongue:

Ah, but don't you see? What makes you think the DM will let this key work on special doors either? It really is just a wand of knock, or a big hammer, or etc. The seemingly epic item actually has a fairly low value. I'd price it at 1,000 gp tops.

Sharkman1231
2009-09-24, 06:48 PM
Chastity Belt......BEGONE!!!!!!!



Dang, too bad I was beat to it... :-(

Also, start boasting you can beat any lock, make bets, $$$$$PROFIT$$$$$
$-)

bosssmiley
2009-09-24, 06:55 PM
Use it to escape into the Dreamlands, then give it back to Nyarly before he comes hunting for it. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Silver_Key)

chiasaur11
2009-09-24, 06:57 PM
When the enemy's Magic Missiles have a lock on you, set a readied action to unlock - you'll be the first adventurers in history to make that spell miss.


Solomon Stone beat you to it. (http://www.actionagecomics.com/comics/SolomonStone01/pages/SS0118.htm)

taltamir
2009-09-24, 07:13 PM
nice comic, ill add it to my collection.

Randel
2009-09-24, 07:31 PM
Can it also lock any lock? Or... seal it or whatever. If so then just keep it around until you need to seal the gates of hell or something.

Evil Sorcerer: At last! My extremely complicated arcane ritual has opened the gateway to the infernal prison of my Master Zargtanphigroafra....

Hero: I use my magical key that can unlcok or unlock anything to lock that doorway thing before the cosmic horror gets through *locks the portal again*.

Evil Sorcerer: ...nazoxtiantrol-nagra'sa Wronasguoul the Third! ... wait, did you just undo my whole evil plot with a magic key?

Hero: Yeah

Evil Sorcerer: Um, can I have it?

Hero: *punches the sorcerer in the face*

FMArthur
2009-09-24, 07:58 PM
I would probably give the key away. I'm always riding the line between Light Load and Medium Load as it is. :smalleek:

jiriku
2009-09-25, 03:28 PM
Does your campaign world happen to have a locked door to the underworld that prevents the spirits of the dead from escaping into the land of the living?

JeenLeen
2009-09-25, 03:37 PM
Giving it away or selling it indiscriminately could lead to people you really don't want having it having it. If it can unlock magical seals, not just mundane doors, you especially don't want it just floating around (or even in the hands of people who it can easily be stolen from.)

With Wand of Knock: can it unlock doors that are warded to be immune to Knock spells? (I don't know if those exist by RAW, but DM fiat causes it from time to time.)

Nero24200
2009-09-25, 04:31 PM
Cuold it lock and unlock threads? :smallwink:

Random832
2009-09-25, 04:39 PM
Or wheels! If it can unlock wheels you can invent the world's first anti-lock brakes! :smallbiggrin:

Masaioh
2009-09-25, 04:40 PM
If I were you, I'd destroy the key (if possible) so that it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands/wouldn't be used against you.

Closak
2009-09-25, 04:44 PM
Use it to unlock the heart of the world and let the darkness in so that the world is consumed by darkness!

Then laugh about it while screaming about how "DARKNESS CONQUERS ALL WORLDS!"

Ogremindes
2009-09-25, 06:39 PM
Use it to unlock the heart of the world and let the darkness in so that the world is consumed by darkness!

Then laugh about it while screaming about how "DARKNESS CONQUERS ALL WORLDS!"

Is this key also a sword?

Jade_Tarem
2009-09-25, 07:29 PM
Is this key also a sword?

Yep. When you stick it in people, it unlocks their deaths.

taltamir
2009-09-25, 07:41 PM
Giving it away or selling it indiscriminately could lead to people you really don't want having it having it. If it can unlock magical seals, not just mundane doors, you especially don't want it just floating around (or even in the hands of people who it can easily be stolen from.)

With Wand of Knock: can it unlock doors that are warded to be immune to Knock spells? (I don't know if those exist by RAW, but DM fiat causes it from time to time.)

sweet, an XP hook... err I mean PLOT hook...
"oh noes, the key we sold is used to threaten the world! must save it now for phat loot and XP"

Dienekes
2009-09-25, 07:43 PM
Ditch the Paladin and rapidly change alignment?

What is it said? Opportunity makes the thief.