My New Webcomic (Read the first post before saying anything)

[Chaos Nerd]

Ok, I know my last webcomic had some issues. I realize what I did wrong now. This one I put a lot more thought into, trust me.

HOWEVER, there are a few things you should be aware of before you read it so far. First of all, this one was originally planned to just be a random comic with no real concept. I changed my mind and made it into a super hero parody comic after the first few pages, but this is still something to bear in mind (since it means the first few pages were of way lesser quality).

Also, I decided to make this one a pixel comic (or 100% custom sprite comic, for those of you who prefer that term). So if you don't like pixel comics, then you're not going to like this.

Last but not least, although this is a super hero parody comic, it's still a super hero comic, and it does involve some plot (not counting the first few pages, as mentioned before).

Anyway, that's about it. Read and give me your thoughts (hopefully you'll like this one more than my last one).

www.drunkduck.com/Nacho_Formula

[Trazoi]

I've read through a few pages of your webcomic, so I'll share my thoughts. Be forewarned that I tend to be blunt. :smallwink:

Firstly, your pixel art doesn't have anything going for it. The current comic (http://www.drunkduck.com/Nacho_Formula/index.php?p=620375) consists of two twins and a similiar looking guy, standing on a blue floor with a blank cyan background (are they inside, or is that meant to be sky?), with the only change being the lead characters eyes. If you're going with the pulled-back camera view you need some more background in there, otherwise your comic world looks empty and reminds me of 99% of all sprite comics (you know, the ones that consist of Megaman and Sonic standing on a blank background saying "LOLZ!" at each other for six panels. Thankfully you're doing a pixel comic instead of a sprite one!). That's not a comparison you want your readers to make!

Also: all that cyan is straining on the eyes. If you must use a minimalistic background, I'd recommend picking a non-saturated colour.

Your writing is okay, so far. It's got room for improvement, but I can see it getting there with practice. However it's not engaging enough to make up for the really spartan art. Also pixel art tends to lend itself more to comedy than drama, so you might need punchlines even in your dramatic story advancing pages.

If you flesh out your art somewhat, add in some props and scenery, maybe change the font to something neater (it's not bad bad, but it's a bit clunky), and make some more pose changes on your characters, I think it will be a marked improvement. Good luck with the comic! :smallsmile:

[Chaos Nerd]

Alright, I can see your points about the art. I'll try to work on that a bit. Thanks for pointing out those issues.

However, there was one thing about your post that confused me:

I ended every single page so far with a punchline, so what pages were you talking about when you said I needed punchlines even on my dramatic pages?

[RustMonster]

I ended every single page so far with a punchline, so what pages were you talking about when you said I needed punchlines even on my dramatic pages?

There's a reason it's called a punchline -- because it's like a punch in the face! A punchline has to have impact. A sudden swift smack to the reader's train of thought.

The essence of comedy is setting up a situation then suddenly subverting the audience's expectations. You aren't doing that. You're just having your characters say something wackyrandom in the last panel. It's pretty weak.

[Trazoi]

That's pretty much what I meant. You've got jokes in there, but they need a bit more, well, punch. It's very hard to do drama with pixel art, so you'll need extra comedy.

Another thought: you might like to try putting in some more action in each individual panel. Your figures are quite tiny, so it's hard to read expressions if they stand stock still. You might want to try getting them to gesture a bit more and move around to emphasis their emotions. It's much like how a stage actor has to act to convey the feeling of a scene to the audience in the back row - you need big sweeping gestures and movement because they can't see your face.

[Chaos Nerd]

If you don't mind my asking, how many pages did you read, exactly? Because I stopped doing completely ranom punchlines after the first few pages (ie once I decided on a concept).

[Trazoi]

If you don't mind my asking, how many pages did you read, exactly? Because I stopped doing completely ranom punchlines after the first few pages (ie once I decided on a concept).
The last five or six? I don't think I read the first few. Generally when someone asks for a critique I just read the last few strips in the archive. I sort of expect most people to be finding their feet in the first few comic strips.

[PhantomFox]

Okay, I'll admit it. A few of the jokes made me laugh. But then I'm a sucker for weirdness. However, again, the art is far too spartan to effectively communicate much. The character models are simple (and small!) to be be expressive. The writing is... okay. Nothing that great. The use of "So what you're saying is..." style recap comes off a bit awkward. And even for an idiot villain, the Snidely Whiplash ploy of tie up the nearest female relative is kind of lame. Nothing for the hero to be impressed with.

http://goldenstate.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/ar119401186102816.jpg

In any case, for a pixel-art comic, it's half-decent, but still needs a good bit of work.

[Chaos Nerd]

Fair enough. I've put some more thought into my writing style I've used in the past (aka the one that people have always found really good), so I think I've figured out the best way to write my comics in the future (still figuring out if I can apply it to this one at this point).

As for Taco being impressed with his arch-nemisis' revenge plan, there are two explanations for that:

1. Taco's not too bright himself

2. He's just impressed that he even came up with a half-way decent revenge plan after the first impression he gave him

So, yeah......